SPEAKER_02 0:04

Vagina dentata.

SPEAKER_04 0:05

For the rest of your day. It means no worries. Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. So happy you're here. If this is your first time in this neck of the woods, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. Total joke, waste of time. Or a slash.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_04 0:28

My name is Chris, and I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

Hola muchachos.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

The gore lover Alexis. Hey everyone. The cowardly creeper Ryan. Hiya. And the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Hey sweets.

SPEAKER_04 0:41

Now before we get into the movie for this week, we do have a little bit of follow-up from episode 82.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

So on Twitter we asked for some recommendations for 80 slashers that Chris wouldn't like. Because, you know, a few weeks ago I was like, is there anything in the world that Chris doesn't like that's an 80 slasher? So we have a little list here. So we have Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, which sounds like Chris is not gonna like it. I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 1:06

I like chainsaws and hookers.

SPEAKER_03 1:10

I'd like to know this list is not things I'd like to add to our schedule. Um, so the next one is Killer Party, uh, The House on Sorority Row, Houseboat Horror, Curtains, Maniac, Hotel Hell, and Terror at Ten Killer, which was quoted as uh should send you running for the hills. Wow. And I've never heard of any of those movies, so they seem like we don't need to watch them.

SPEAKER_04 1:35

I have heard of House on Sorority Row, but I have not heard of any of the others, so I'm really excited to give them a shot. But that's neither here nor there because we don't have a slasher this week. We have a little bit more of a chomper.

SPEAKER_06 1:48

God bless.

SPEAKER_04 1:49

This week we're wrapping up Women in Horror Month by breaking down a dark feminist comedy that directly confronts male entitlement and violence against women. This week, we're checking out Teeth. Who had seen this movie before?

SPEAKER_05 2:03

Me, me, me, me, me. Are you serious, really? Yeah, I know. Actually, my sister turned turned me out in this movie. Oh, Jesus Christ. Poor choice of words. I know, right? Yeah, a few years ago, my sister was like, Oh, yeah, you should check out this movie Teeth. And I'm not gonna spoil it for any of our listeners right now on what she said to me after that, but it was like three, four words after that. And it was funny because I talk to my mom every week. This is a short story, um, every Sunday, and she's always like, What movie are you guys doing? And I was like, Mom, we're doing teeth. She goes, I love that movie. What? Yes, she loves this. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

Whose mom loves that movie?

SPEAKER_05 2:43

I don't know. It's a good movie. I don't know. Probably. We'll get to my uh maybe not.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

I guess we're gonna wait and see.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

We will, we will. I I think it's obvious I haven't seen this movie.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Just like classic uh, you know, other movies that came out around the time I should have been out of college. I also did not see the movie, but I saw the massive marketing campaign for this movie that was out. It's I I think I remember just seeing the a clip from a scene in which the main character is laying in a bathtub. That was like all over the place. But I remember seeing it. I was just like, yeah, I'm gonna skip that one. That's the stuff of nightmares right there.

SPEAKER_05 3:18

Yeah, interesting. I never saw any marketing on this. Weird.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

I'm a little bit older, so I was a bit more sentient than perhaps.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:25

Uh my college boyfriend actually introduced me to this movie.

SPEAKER_04 3:28

Whoa.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

Uh, he had a penchant for gross and weird things and was like, babe, there's this movie called Teeth that we have to watch. And I was like, okay, sure. You're older than me, you know what you're talking about. And let's just leave it at that.

SPEAKER_03 3:45

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_04 3:46

The older ones always lead you astray. They always do. I never seen this movie. I did hear about it, but it did come out like my senior year of high school. So, Mac, I think I was plenty sentient, but I don't recall ever hearing anything about it around that time. But it's it has the hallmarks of a movie um that sounds right up my alley, right? Super feminist. Uh, I I could dig the theory of it. This movie basically tells the tale of a young teen stricken with vagina dentata, which is a folk tale in which a woman's vagina is said to contain teeth. So you can only imagine the directions that this is bound to go. Uh, I I don't know that I've ever seen anything quite like it. And I don't know that I've ever felt the feelings that I felt while watching this movie, uh, less it to be said said that I was uh entertained comedically, but also simultaneously underwhelmed. What about you guys?

SPEAKER_02 4:44

I did not remember seeing this movie the first time, just that it happened. I think my mind probably blocked it all out for psychological reasons. Um watching it again, I was also kind of underwhelmed. I remember her being more of a bad bitch than she really started out as. Um and I was like, oh, maybe she ends as a bad bitch. Um, but we'll leave that for the second half.

SPEAKER_05 5:05

I can see where you guys are coming from in that, definitely. I mean, seeing it, I was like, oh yeah, I remember this movie. I didn't remember all the facts of it. I just knew clearly it had a whole bunch of stuff. But I really don't remember how shitty the guys were in this movie. Oh my god. Every single one, except for the dad, possibly. But he had his issues.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Yeah, I mean, this movie is definitely a case study, and yeah, it really just covers all the ways men are trash. Oh, yeah. I also love movies like that.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

I also feel like watching this in 2020 is a probably a lot different than it was before. Yes. Um, but I have never felt how I felt while I was watching this movie, to reiterate what Chris said. I mean, never. Uh I was uncomfortable and disturbed the whole time. Every, every every part of it, the whole part. From like the first scene, I was like, why does this look like The Simpsons intro? Um to like the next scenes where she was wearing items of clothing layered that shouldn't have been layered together. That was even like 2000s. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 6:18

I was just like, wow. I don't know. I was again like 17, 18 in 2007, 2008, and I definitely never saw anybody wear that.

unknown 6:26

No.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

Oh my god, I definitely wore a long sleeve under my tank top before.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

Yeah, but she was wearing like a puffy sleeve. It was just a this is the whole thing. Every second of this movie was uncomfortable and disturbing. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

I I would like to second that. Sorry. So uncomfortable and disturbing.

SPEAKER_05 6:44

Yeah. Okay, I would say that, but also very comical and entertaining.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

It was it was definitely hilarious. I mean, it's a very tongue-in-cheek movie, but seeing the kind of things that we see, you know, as a guy, it's just it's nightmare fuel. And uh there it's we'll we'll get to the gore score, you know, at a certain point where we can talk about how uh how revealing the movie is with uh some of the damage that's done, but oof, there are some scenes that are hard to watch.

SPEAKER_05 7:12

See, it wasn't for me, maybe because I'm not a guy. Probably penis. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_03 7:17

That's literally why.

SPEAKER_01 7:18

I will say my uh girlfriend and I were watching this together, and a lot of the scenes in the movie that have to do it's not much of a spoiler, but there are some scenes in which uh there's the whole like purity ring thing going on, just like there was back in those days when you know kids were in high school, and it felt I don't know, this was a thing in the early 2000s, right?

SPEAKER_03 7:38

You're looking at me weird, but back in what days?

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Back in what days? Late 90s, early 2000s?

SPEAKER_03 7:43

But not this isn't this is late 2000s.

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Yeah, this was still a thing.

SPEAKER_03 7:48

Dare was a thing, not ringing.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

This was heavily this was heavily so I went to high school in two different high schools. One was in a military base overseas, one was in the south. And in the south, uh the south. In the south.

SPEAKER_05 8:01

Georgia, everyone.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Down in Georgia. There's definitely a little bit of uh a little bit of this going on back when I was in finishing up my school.

SPEAKER_04 8:11

I'm not saying there's none of it going on.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Yeah, there was a lot.

SPEAKER_04 8:13

I just have to state this is clearly some Midwest shit. Uh is this.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

While watching the movie, it's entirely what I thought over and over again was that quote, you saying that quote into my head over and over. But so she's from Ohio, as are many people that we know.

SPEAKER_05 8:30

Me.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yep. And so they had a lot of this going on when she was in school too, and she was just like, dude, this is like bringing back bad memories of this being a thing.

SPEAKER_03 8:38

But what grade were you in in 2007?

SPEAKER_01 8:40

What grade uh college?

SPEAKER_03 8:42

Right. So so what year what year were you a freshman in high school?

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Uh I don't remember, like around like 2000. So, yeah, somewhere around there.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

I'm just saying this is like a decade, at least a decade later than with Jesus in its prime.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

So I was in college for a long time, unfortunately. And so a lot of those freshmen not uh coming. Yeah, but a lot of the freshmen coming into school that I saw, they were still going through this stuff. They were having meetings at the college for this very thing.

SPEAKER_03 9:10

If you go to a private college, maybe it was public, but it was in it was in Georgia.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

But anyway, so it was it was a bit of a weird, you know, trip down memory lane to watch this because like I remember watching them doing this in school and just cringing really hard.

SPEAKER_05 9:24

And people really like they got into it, man. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

They got real, they signed those petitions. Don't give your body up until you're ready. They'd pledged. And uh, yeah, lots of purity rings, lots of pledge rings, lots of what do you call those things?

SPEAKER_05 9:37

Chastity belts.

SPEAKER_01 9:39

I don't know about that one. I didn't see any of those.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

But uh I went to school in rural Pennsylvania, and this was definitely a thing at the time. I graduated in 2008, but at one point I remember we had a woman named Pam Stenzel. She gave a like we all were all in the auditorium and she gave us a long spiel about how abstinence was the only way to avoid HPV, which is cancer. It's how she prevented that. She insisted nobody get Gardasil because it only protects her against like four of the eight million strands of HPV out there. And I just remember being like, I don't think this is real. The medicine on this is questionable. This feels wildly irresponsible to subject high school students to without like any permission at all.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

I mean, the Gardasil shot is very painful, I guess.

SPEAKER_05 10:29

So there's And I've been wanting to get it, but I haven't because I'm scared.

SPEAKER_03 10:33

I mean, it's not the end of the world, it's better than HPV. But is it? It is, but it hurts. Can you speak from I'm kidding, I shouldn't have to do that?

SPEAKER_04 10:43

I have this, unfortunately, I can't. Things we don't need to know about Ryan.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

You don't want to know that I'm vaccinated?

SPEAKER_06 10:49

Come on.

SPEAKER_04 10:50

Hey, that is apparently controversial these days.

SPEAKER_06 10:53

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

So this was not a thing at all for me growing up in South Florida. In fact, I think our sex ed classes kind of skimped on a lot of things. Uh, we didn't have stickers, gold stickers in books hiding anything, but we also didn't really reference things a lot. Like, I don't recall ever having any anatomical drawings in any of my books or really just talking about anything besides be safe, kids. That's why our body in Florida gets pregnant at 16. That is also accurate, but I didn't get pregnant at 16. But there's a reason for that.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

So you guys got this kind of education in high school because we had it when I was like 13.

SPEAKER_05 11:30

Yeah, mine was definitely in high school.

SPEAKER_03 11:33

Uh we started sex ed at the end of fifth grade. It was very like brief, and then it continued through like middle and high school.

SPEAKER_05 11:39

But it wasn't sex ed, it was just like a like a health clause.

SPEAKER_04 11:42

Hey girls, you're gonna start bleeding at some point if you haven't already.

SPEAKER_05 11:46

I mean, at this point, I think I had already had sex ed. Fifth grade? Oh no, nothing.

SPEAKER_01 11:51

I'm sorry? What?

SPEAKER_06 11:53

No, I got this in high school.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

Look, we're not here to judge anybody.

SPEAKER_04 11:58

But we are fifth grade.

SPEAKER_05 12:00

Just a little bit. I don't even know if I knew what anything was down there. What is this thing?

SPEAKER_01 12:04

That's a bit like our main character.

SPEAKER_04 12:07

So clearly, our own backgrounds on sexual education is surprising to a lot of us, but what about this movie? Was anything surprising within the movie?

SPEAKER_05 12:16

Anything? Really? I really thought it was surprising that they showed an like penis in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 12:23

Everything was surprising in this movie. That's what I was trying to say.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

So many dicks and so many butts.

SPEAKER_04 12:30

There were quite a bit.

SPEAKER_01 12:31

I was surprised to see uh Maddie from uh Nip Tuck in this movie.

SPEAKER_05 12:35

Who's that? So the douchebag guy.

SPEAKER_02 12:38

He was the stepbrother, the male Rose McGowan.

SPEAKER_05 12:41

I knew I recognized him. I was really excited because Toby is in Magicians, and I don't know if anyone watches Magicians here.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Uh no, I don't, but I know who you're talking about.

SPEAKER_05 12:52

And he's like, I Toby is wildly unattractive. Okay, this is weird because I think he's super attractive. I thought he was for Magicians, and he has eyeliner on in magicians.

SPEAKER_02 13:04

Toby was very hot. This movie could have gone much better, had a few things changed. Exactly. Could have been a great Nicholas Sparks movie.

SPEAKER_05 13:14

No, I agree. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

It was, you know, what was truly surprising? Uh it did get a bit serious in parts, just like I'm doing right now. But there were there were some difficult themes for our characters to deal with in life. That was that part was surprising, especially when I read that it was supposed to be a bit funny or a bit tongue-in-cheek to see the main character go through some some pretty gnarly stuff, you know. That was uh that was surprising to me because I was just like, okay, I'm expecting the kind of movies that we traditionally watch where you go about uh I don't know, but ankle deep into the waters of someone's soul. But this one was like full, I don't know, chin deep.

SPEAKER_03 13:48

It was like maybe too deep with no pun intended there. It was it was really I I didn't need to go this deep into her psyche. I I didn't want to be a part of her life in this way. I I wanted to not be there.

SPEAKER_04 14:04

That's totally fair. Now, for our listeners, if you haven't seen this movie, this is definitely something that you should be advised against. I had no idea going into it that there would be certain depictions of of elements that may be very troublesome and problematic for your personal lives. So just be advised that there is uh non-consensual sex. All right. So we'll call that what it actually is. Uh, but if you want to bow out of this episode, there is your chance. Um, I think the the depiction of that was actually one of the most disappointing things to me, Max. Like you're saying, like it's it's uncomfortable. And I think this movie really goes it goes all out in trying to say we're gonna tackle something really uncomfortable and point out how shitty men are, except we're gonna also pair it with comedy. And I think there are a lot of ways that you can make that a good thing, but I just I'm not comfortable, nor am I amused by the wow route that it went. And I don't know, it was just a really big disappointment.

SPEAKER_03 15:07

It's also worth mentioning that it's not one scene, it's like four or five scenes, right? Like, like if you've seen Last House on the Left, like the newer one that came out, there's like a very intense scene in that movie, right? And it's like, man, that's really tough to deal with to watch on screen. This movie, it was like that was really hard to watch, and then five minutes later, that was also really hard to watch, and then five minutes later, that was also really hard to watch, and it's a lot, like it's it's difficult.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

It absolutely is, it's just not it's not funny, and I think it is confusing because I you know I did watch this with Paris and we laughed the whole time, but I was more laughing at his company and commentary than at the actual movie itself, say for one brief moment. But there are things in this movie that are scary, and I will say that while this is not a frightening movie, the only thing that's actually scary about it is the it's funny until you remember it's true depiction of men who just constantly violate boundaries. But was there anything in this movie that spooked you guys?

SPEAKER_02 16:12

I mean, I thought it was a pretty bold move to take like such a slapstick approach to something so grim. Um, but they did it, and it was definitely meant to be like a dark comic moment each time it happened. Like there were a lot of like three stooges elements to it, which I was like, this is a choice that you guys made. Um honestly it's hard to articulate without going into too much detail, but I I agree. I was also disappointed with this was handled.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

So I think I mean each of the scenes that we're talking about is frightening because we all know that it happens like every day, constantly, all day long. And so it is it is like scary to imagine just like how invasive this is to our culture, just like how far it permeates into everyday life. And so like those scenes, those those are those are frightening. And conversely, the you know, the teeth that we're talking about in this movie teeth, those are personally frightening for me. Just saying. Um so yeah, I I would say like both parts, although I'm not like scared, I'm not, you know, I'm not worried about this happening in my life.

SPEAKER_06 17:26

Maybe you should be any day.

SPEAKER_01 17:28

Maybe I should be, uh, because uh I like you know treat people with respect and decency, but um yeah, I just I find those two themes to be pretty chilling to the bone.

SPEAKER_03 17:38

Yeah. It's not like a it's not like a a horror movie like we always say, like Alexis, like you're gonna you know lock the doors and like leave the lights on while you're walking upstairs and stuff like that. But I there is definitely I I can't figure out if the feeling that I had about watching this movie is what stuck with me or if it is actually something from the movie that stuck with me. But I it's definitely like I haven't shaken the feeling of it, but I think I mostly just haven't shaken like how horrible I felt while watching this. Like I think that's the thing. It's not like the movie, like I'm thinking about like the teeth. But also, uh Mackenzie's the only one here at risk of the teeth, so um, we're all pretty safe. Uh oh well Chris, she might be at risk as well. What? I mean, you know, technically speaking. I'm not a shitty man who assaults women. I think I'm alright. No, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

That's why neither of us are at risk.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Right. I just mean like y'all are at risk.

SPEAKER_05 18:40

You guys thought she meant it that way.

SPEAKER_03 18:42

You know how like you know how like if you go on an airplane, like you're at risk of getting sick. Sure. Not because you're gonna go like lick people's faces on the plane, but because it could happen. Anyway.

SPEAKER_04 18:53

Okay, so if you are attracted to women, then you may be at risk for teeth. I mean, technically speaking, yes is the answer to that question.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Okay. Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 19:01

As someone who has never touched a vagina and does not own a vagina, I am in the clear on this one and have nothing to fear. Yeah, you're pretty clear. Safe.

SPEAKER_04 19:09

Safe. This movie is it goes on on one hell of a ride, and I think there's a lot of stuff that we have to talk about in the second half. But I will say this the ending is super ambitious, and I don't know how much credit to give it for that. Um, but it it's certainly not the direction that I expected it to go. How how successful did you guys think that was?

SPEAKER_05 19:34

Um, I thought it could have been better, but I love the ending. You kind of see this progression of her, this timid person who kind of like gives in and you know, kind of like does what people I mean, she sticks up for herself, but she's really just going with the with like the ebbs and flows in the beginning and getting picked on, and then you there's like one turning point um in one certain scene, and then after that, it's just like okay, wow, she's like gonna use this to her advantage, and good for fucking her. I want teeth.

SPEAKER_01 20:06

Don't apologize.

SPEAKER_05 20:08

You want teeth?

SPEAKER_03 20:09

I'm sorry, did you guys hear her saying I want teeth?

SPEAKER_05 20:11

No, I'm just joking. There's so many people's uh that would be cheating right now on my boyfriend, but there's so many people I'd go back and be like, hey, you want to have sex?

SPEAKER_04 20:21

I don't know, man. You know, you might even get those things registered or something. That would be a concern.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

A concealed weapon. I'm a bit torn on the ending. There's one part of the ending I'm very happy with where she does seem a bit more empowered, and I like that. The actual final ending scene though, I could have done without. We'll get more into specifics about why I was grossed out by it, but uh yeah, there's just a character who's who's just I just find gross that I could have done without seeing. But for the theme of the ending, it worked. I just would have chosen not to uh observe this particular character behaving in a certain way. But as as a fitting end of the movie, yes, I I I feel like it did a good job.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

I kind of feel the opposite, Mac. Like the scene that you're talking about at the end that you liked, I was like, this didn't need to happen. Why am I seeing this? But then the very end, I was like, okay, we could have ended it in a direction like this sooner, and I would have been much happier. That's true.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

I'll what I'll say is I from the beginning of the movie, the one that I liked and you didn't like before the pre-ending, there's like there's yeah, I know exactly what this is lost. I know exactly what you're saying. So there's like a big scene that wraps up the movie and establishes the character's, you know, ability to control everything.

SPEAKER_05 21:36

Okay, I get that.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

And from the beginning of the movie, I knew it was going to happen. And so it's like I had already just kind of said, like, not because it's easily guessed, because I was just like, this is the only fitting way to deal with these two characters' relationship together. Uh that that could be shown on screen. So I was like, that's gonna happen. So I'd already kind of you know just accepted that. But yeah, it would have been great had it not been on screen. That would have been awesome. Um Personally. But uh, I just kind of expected it to happen. So yeah. I would I would agree with you there. But since I knew I kind of as we start watching the movie, I was like, all right, this this is gonna this has to be, but uh the final the final scene. So yeah, I I will take your criticism and agree with you. It was definitely an inevitable scene. Yeah. It was watching watching a train, you know.

SPEAKER_05 22:21

God, can we just talk about the ending because I know what the hell y'all turns? We're almost there, Alexis.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

Wait, the end. Well, there's the end and there's the other end, and then there's the beginning of the end and then the end of the end.

SPEAKER_03 22:31

Stop.

SPEAKER_04 22:32

That's how goofy this fucking movie is.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

Yeah. Yes. I hated all 12 parts of the ending. Just gonna be honest here. I didn't like the very last scene. I didn't like the scene before last scene, any of it. All of it made me unhappy. I'm I'm trying to say less than than necessary, but yeah, I don't like the ending of this movie. That like concept of empowerment in that last moment is not my type of empowerment. I agree with you.

SPEAKER_04 23:02

I also don't think that empowerment that comes through the assault of men is not actually empowerment. And I think it's a goofy fucking like moral that's trying to be found by a man who made this movie and it's just not it's not my cup of tea. So I've killed you 100%, Ryan. Did a man make this movie? Yeah. Oh god, of course he did.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Mitchell.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Very few women involved in the production of this movie.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

Obviously, shocking, crazy.

SPEAKER_04 23:26

Now, is this something you guys you think uh think you'll ever see again?

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Nope.

SPEAKER_04 23:30

Nope. I'm good. Yes, Alexis. I love you.

SPEAKER_01 23:35

Alexis and her mom are gonna watch it.

SPEAKER_03 23:37

And her sister.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Did you see that? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 23:40

This is the new Christmas movie for Alexis and her family. Every time Alexis has a breakup, this movie gets played. Oh damn. That's funny. That's funny. No, but I do I do have to watch this at least one more time because my girlfriend really wanted to watch this with me. And it actually came highly recommended from a lot of people. When we posted the uh the the schedule for our recording, this our recordings this month on Instagram. I got so many people who reply to me saying teeth, yes. I'm like, uh we should block all those people. All those people should get blocked.

SPEAKER_01 24:16

Everyone's allowed to like what they like.

SPEAKER_04 24:17

That's some cancel culture for you, Ryan.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 24:21

Hey, I'm joking. Okay, I'm joking. All right, guys. Well, I think we should go ahead and start winding things down a bit so we can actually start talking about the specifics of this movie. Now, before we do this, Alexis, how many people died in this movie?

SPEAKER_05 24:35

It was a solid two. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough for me, but it's okay. Because last week we had a lot. Yeah, there's a lot of action still.

SPEAKER_04 24:43

It's okay. We uh our body count's doing that rollover, like the old school cell phone plans with your extra minutes. Now, Ryan, within this movie, how many animals succumbed to the teeth?

SPEAKER_03 24:58

So fortunately, we have one well-trained cute pup in this movie, and he there were no casualties.

SPEAKER_04 25:05

Thank the Lord. Now, let's go ahead and move right along into our scoring teeth from 2007, Vagina Dentata. Was it a hacker slash or a tromp?

SPEAKER_05 25:15

Um, I don't know whether I should say mine for the first or last. Well, I have to sit and hear you guys bash it, but um, I'll just go first, and this is definitely a slash for me. That wasn't obvious. Um, you guys know me, you know I love like these bee horror movies that you know I'm not looking for something that's like super deep or anything like that. They do have um touchy subjects, which I agree they didn't like, especially this if you're watching it like now, takes on a little bit of a different view when they could have been a little bit more sensitive to a few things and just carried out. But I love the way um the final girl, if you want to call her. No, I'm kidding. I love the way she's just like portrayed in this movie. I love how you like get this kind of see how what she's going through, and it's almost like you're in her head, just following her around and what's going on. And um, I just love how they put comedy and I love the dark comedy that's in this, and also um the music in this. And it's weird. It's like when it's supposed to be happy, it's not. When it's supposed to be sad, it's not. So I love the like play in my emotions. Uh it really is gives me a little run for my money here.

SPEAKER_03 26:28

Well, uh, I I think I feel exactly the opposite. So uh I I I don't know how much it comes across on the show, but like I'm not a very serious person, right? Like, I don't take a lot of stuff very seriously. I don't like watch movies and like they don't like weigh on my life a lot. Like, I'm just not that kind of person, right? So I've never felt like I needed to turn a movie off ever. Like, even when I don't want to watch it, like I'll just scroll through Instagram or something. This movie, I had I almost turned it off and came to the podcast today to tell you guys that I couldn't finish watching it. That's how I felt, like that's how bad I felt during this movie. And that's all I had, that's all I said to Chris about it because I have a very hard time not telling Chris my feelings, and I was like, I almost turned it off, but I didn't. You have great communication in our relationship, thank you. I know, I just can't resist. Um, I think for me, the comedy was so out of touch in this movie. Like I was so uncomfortable, and like I am uh I am a type of feminist, but I'm not this type of feminist. Like assaulting men is not my type of feminism. And like I mean, you know, like and and the concept that I I understand it's a movie, it's dramatic, but like the concept that no man in your life can treat you properly or all men are trash is is it's not me. That's not me. So I didn't identify with this type of what I think was trying to be feminine feminism, and like just every second of it, like I literally the only thing that brought me joy in this movie was that the beginning was like the Simpsons intro. Truly, like I don't know why it stood out to me stood out to me so much. Um but yeah, uh, so that's a hack. It's not obvious. Wow, I thought you were gonna go slash there for a second. I know, I didn't even have any way to make it seem like that would be a slash. This is one of the hardest movies I've ever watched, and it actually like mm made my day bad. Like I had a bad day after this movie. That's really intense. I know, but that's it, that that's the intensity of this.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

Ryan, I love you so much and appreciate your honesty. And before we let our gentleman go, I'm just gonna round out this ladies' first edition. Um it just I can walk the line of comedy, I can walk the line of extremes, but at the end of the day, this movie just wasn't funny. It it was uh something that you could laugh at in moments, but not laugh with. Alright, I'm leaving, guys.

SPEAKER_03 29:33

It's okay, we're not judging you.

SPEAKER_05 29:35

I feel like I'm being judged right now.

SPEAKER_04 29:37

No, you're not being judged, Alexis. I I love you and the depths that you take and the depths that you would neglect in movies like this.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

We know what it is that she enjoyed in this movie.

unknown 29:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:50

This this was tough for me because I did find some parts in the movie that I found uh important to bring up. I mean, the reality is that there's a lot of abuse in this movie that impacts many real people every single day. And I am 100% certain that everyone at this table, everyone at home either has experienced things like this or knows somebody who has. So it's it's a really tough kind of thing to get into. And I think some of the depictions of situations people find themselves in are are probably pretty close to what a lot of people have gone through. Um, but I do agree that there is a bit of gravity missing from how this is handled in the movie. And then the st like the the arc of the story for me, while I think it's good to see a character change and grow, I don't think we reach the point, you know, where the character has grown to a what I would consider satisfying uh kind of resolution. I don't I don't think we end with an attitude or a lifestyle change or really a healthy relationship with just other people in general, which is tough for me. And so I know both my girlfriend and I were watching this, we had a tough time because we there's parts of it you laugh at, and we were laughing, um, just at how ridiculous things were. We were also cringing very hard uh at different parts of it. Um but I think it it really comes down to many movies have the same issue, I think, that deal with themes like this, where there's just not enough gravity given to it, and it doesn't it's I mean it goes very deep into a lot of things that are like super duper real in real life. But I wish the outcome had been different and that the character had gone in a different direction, so I too will hack it.

SPEAKER_02 31:41

Yeah, this is a hack for me. Uh I wish I could be more contrarian about it. Like on paper, Vagina Dentata, sign me up, sounds great, let's see where this goes. But the way it was executed with pretty much a cast of characters that were not developed whatsoever, except for the main girl who goes on a nightmare of a journey, discovering her own sexuality and that her vagina has teeth. Like she didn't already feel like an outcast enough at that age. But to see her be so powerless for 95% of the film, and then kind of at the end be like, Oh, okay, I can use this, it was just disheartening. I wanted her to take that power within the opening scene and then run with it and see what that looks like. But honestly, like in a post-Me Too world, this movie just wouldn't fly. This would never have gotten made. I get at the time like we took these things less seriously because they weren't talked about as much, and that was a problem. Uh so we've addressed that and now we're talking about it. So something like this just it doesn't pass for me.

SPEAKER_03 32:51

It's like this isn't the way to talk about it, I think. Like it's uh it it's real intense and like, hey, we want to bring awareness to this, but this is not the way. Frat boy humor is never the way.

SPEAKER_01 33:02

I think what's lacking for me is a true sense of healing after dealing with the damage done.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Yeah, she's just like she just keeps going and it's like okay. Right.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

So I think I mean people do truly heal and get through things that they carry with them. Yeah, and I feel like we are lacking that, you know, at the end here. We're we're instead getting a bit perhaps of revenge uh uh going on, which I think a lot of people will want to see uh in in in a lot of cases. That can be satisfying for some. But but like that feeling of of having healed and you know, got get the scars going on and and the scabs that you just kind of deal with and moving forward in life, that that's probably what I would wish to see.

SPEAKER_04 33:42

Black Christmas 2019, that was a kind of revenge movie that I wanted to see. And we got it. This wasn't it, but we have some specifics to go over, we have some things to break down, and we have some things to point out. Uh, and we'll do that in the second half of our episode. Folks, if you want to find this, you can find a streaming on HBO Go, or you can spend money to rent it. Make the decision that is right there for you. But we'll see you in this bit.

SPEAKER_00 34:14

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SPEAKER_04 35:08

Alright, welcome back. Teeth from 2007 uh was rated pretty heavily. Uh, it was earned one slash, and that's fantastic, but it also earned four hacks. Now, before we get into why we rated this movie the way we did, we do have to say it was pretty gory, at least from my opinion. But Alexis, tell us all about it.

SPEAKER_05 35:29

Yeah, it's definitely pretty gory, even for having just two kills. You know, the first one is a um douche in the movie. So uh which I didn't know you could die from getting your penis eaten off.

SPEAKER_01 35:44

Well, did like I was curious, did he hit a rock or just like drown or something?

SPEAKER_05 35:48

I thought he swam away. I was thinking he bled out.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

He probably bled out while swimming.

SPEAKER_05 35:52

Yeah, like shock going into shock and then drowned. Yeah, I guess maybe something like that. But yeah, this movie is really gruesome. I never thought it would take the turn that it did where it's like a full shot right after. And I mean, the first one you don't really know what you're looking at. The second time it happens, you're like, oh shit, like you see the part, the bits and everything. And by the third one, or well, the third one, you see that too. Wait, this is it fell out. Oh, yeah, that's when it fell out. Yeah. So then I didn't need that visual a little too much. Because although I have to say I did wonder what was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 36:31

Like, I'm like, how did okay because at first everything was just out, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 36:35

Because I was like, how did it go out? Like, how did that, you know? And then I just weird how they both go to the same doctor to get it all stitched back on and all sorts of stuff. Yeah, you had to do the drop scene. Probably the goriest part in the part I really had to look away was the whole gynecologist. Like, oh my god. One, it's terrifying when you go still, and you know it doesn't hurt, but it's still in your head. And the fact that this guy is putting like four fingers in, I'm like, why sorry, this is probably a little too much for the podcast, but I'm like, but why? Like, why? Yeah, like that whole scene was just that that scene for me. Yeah, everyone's gonna say, Oh yeah, seeing a penis come out of this chick and seeing the dog eat it, that's gory. But to me, that whole scene was just like cringy and like gory and gross. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 37:29

It's also like you could see it coming, like like when she went to the gynecologist, and the guy was just kind of like, this is your first time, and it's just like, Oh, please don't go there, don't go there. You don't have to go there, we don't have to go there. We don't want to be there. We can all go home. And we yeah, we went there.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

What a disservice to every gynecologist, though.

SPEAKER_05 37:45

Yeah, that is true. So, like when you're talking about the Simpsons coming in and all that, like, clearly the mom is dying from some sort of whatever they're emitting um through this nuclear power plant. Do you think she maybe like got a mutation from that? I think yeah, that's what I was thinking too.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

Maybe that's what I assumed.

SPEAKER_05 38:03

What do you all think?

SPEAKER_02 38:04

That we they like pretty clearly edited those nuclear towers into the back of every establishing shop.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Yeah, they look bad. Photoshop 2001.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

So I think they were really pushing that. She was the three-eyed fish from The Simpsons.

SPEAKER_05 38:15

Yeah, there you go. Oh, yeah. I did see the three. There was a third comparison. It was like that, the the vagina with the teeth, and then something else from nuclear.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

Like I didn't even make the connection that she got a mutation from her mother's sickness only because I thought the sickness came later on. Like, I didn't I didn't pick up that she may have been sick when like there were little kids out in the pool. Uh, I just took it as a really clumsy way to try to add even more sadness into the movie. Yeah, true.

SPEAKER_03 38:45

But it was also like, if we're being honest here, not the type of neighborhood that would be around those power plants. This is like this is much more affluent than the neighborhoods that they would normally have around uh dangerous areas like that.

SPEAKER_05 38:57

Maybe, maybe not. I mean, I grew up in Cleveland and you could see smokestacks from pretty depends where you are again some Midwest shit.

SPEAKER_04 39:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:06

Also a landfill next to us, too, where you could smell trash during the summer. It was horrible. And I mean, we weren't affluent, but we weren't like I mean like we weren't in the best, we weren't in the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Solidly middle class, just like everyone else is. So that's what it's called, middle class.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

Remember when there used to be a middle class? That was cool. Ah, the old days.

SPEAKER_04 39:27

Politic adjacent with Mac. I do have to know, Alexis. What uh of all the goriness in this movie, which moment was your favorite? I mean, you have a lot of options, a lot a lot of things kind of falling around.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

The crab.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

So I think it was when she, so it's the guy before the brother. So that's like the second penis, right? Yeah. Penis number two. All right. So we got penis number two. So that one, I think it's because it tricked me. I was like, oh wow. So is this like a oh, if she can sense and it's like good for her, that's when the teeth don't come out? Like, that's cool. It's like a nice little adaptation, like, or like something that only comes out, you know, like a defense mechanism? Yes, there you go.

SPEAKER_04 40:11

So I'm like, maybe that's like it. Is it more like Wolverine claws and not Freddy Kruger fingers? But they're just always at it.

SPEAKER_05 40:18

I I saw them as Freddy Cougar. Like, but they may they I feel like they come in and out, so that might be more like Wolverine.

SPEAKER_04 40:24

Could you imagine a woman named Freddie with an eye cougar and she had vagina teeth in her vagina?

SPEAKER_02 40:32

No, that I would watch.

SPEAKER_04 40:34

So glad we came back to the human would be in it. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_05 40:39

That was brunch ready.

SPEAKER_04 40:41

Brunch ready.

SPEAKER_05 40:43

But yeah, I love that scene because you're kind of like, oh my gosh, wow, like, because I never I kind of didn't know this guy's intentions. I mean, when you first see he's like trying to like get her attention, but you're not sure of like the whole thing. But once he starts lighting the candles, and once he gives her the pill, and I'm like, okay, but then she took it. He's and but then I was like, not that she knew it was going to happen, but this guy's like a sleaze ball, and she's enjoying it. So I'm like, okay, what's gonna go on here? And then the fact that I think it's just so gratifying, and I don't if everyone's gonna hate me for this, that's totally fine. But I think it was super gratifying for that to happen to him because he was such a douchebag, like straight in front of her face, like calling the people. Like, I don't like totally something that guys in high school would do. Oh, yeah. I feel like I mean, I don't know if I I don't think it was a hot commodity back then, but I could totally like it was but like I mean, I feel like so like some guy did have sex. Well, I only had sex with one person in high school. Let's let's quote that mom if you're listening. But I feel like you know, like when you lose your virginity, you go and tell people. Okay, maybe you don't, but I feel like that person had, and I was like, oh my gosh, like what the hell? So that's kind of like I'm like, you know what? That's like really shitty for him to just like call someone right then and there.

SPEAKER_04 42:06

Alexis, let me make this abundantly clear. He did get he did get what he deserved. Like all these dudes in this movie probably even deserved worse than they got, minus Toby, who got the ultimate punishment. But you you're absolutely right. He he got what he deserved, and we're not gonna hate you or disagree with you or anything. Maybe I don't know if I'm not gonna speak for you guys.

SPEAKER_05 42:27

No, I'm sure everyone will disagree with me, but I'm totally fine. I'm just sitting back on this one. I got the gore score out of the way, and we're good.

SPEAKER_01 42:34

You know how I knew he was bad? So the second no. It was this was what was clear to me. She's going through trauma. She comes to him. I have no one else to go through. This is to talk to talk to.

SPEAKER_05 42:47

I've never seen her talk to him. Why would she go there?

SPEAKER_01 42:49

She had his card and she told him, I have no one else to talk to about what's going on right now. And you're like, okay, maybe this could go well, right? So he's like, you know, get comfortable, like, like on you know, undo today, take wash it off, right? The second you see him lighting candles, yeah, that's how you know he's bad.

SPEAKER_05 43:06

And then okay, then I'm like, you know what? I I kept giving this guy a damn chance, and I don't know fucking why. Because once he gave her the drink, though, and I was like, all right, he knew he gave her the pills, and he at least can be not that he would be redeeming at any point, but at that point I was like, well, maybe you're just lighting a can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 43:25

Like, did you try to set the mood when she's just gone through trauma?

SPEAKER_03 43:29

Did you get yeah? Did you hear when he she was like, Where'd my clothes go? And he's like, I don't know. Well, yeah, before or after, like when she comes off, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:39

So that had been building up.

SPEAKER_04 43:40

I think it's so important to stress that consenting under the influence is not consenting. And that is just like bottom line in this movie. And uh he manipulated the shit out of her, and not even for a brief moment he could he be seen as like some good dude.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

For me, it was kind of like uh if. Like somebody who didn't understand consent, trying by trial and error, making this movie, figuring out what consent actually is. They were like, Is this consent? No. I think it's lighting candles. In the end, they kind of land somewhere near there, but it's is that a place we wanted to land?

SPEAKER_03 44:19

No. Like mentally unhealthy consent? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Yeah. Incest consent.

SPEAKER_06 44:24

Never.

SPEAKER_02 44:24

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_05 44:26

But yeah, so that was definitely probably my favorite kill because or my favorite penis eating. You didn't like the crab penis? Talk about the dark humor in that. Like crabs on the dick. Like that's like that's why I love this movie. Like it's like the little things like that. You know? And when she leaves, also I love this line. That's what I love that whole scene. One for the kill was super deserving. But in the beginning, she goes, You're my hero, you're this, you're that. And then she leaves and she goes, Some hero. Yeah. Like that was perfect. That was perfect for me. That was perfect. Like how all of us feel after we're with men.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

I never said my hero. The one thing that I thought was perfect was uh after she has severed a penis and refer returns home, and her stepdad or her parent offers her food and she says, No, I ate. Oh, yeah. I get it. There's teeth, you know.

SPEAKER_05 45:22

Yeah, I didn't pick up on that at all. Or what about not? I mean, can we talk about one other one-liner, I guess? Yeah. And go out of that. My other favorite one was I'm pretty sure it was the doctor at the end, or he's like, or like some part they're reattaching a penis on someone, and they were like, Harley seems worth putting it on. Yeah. Like, I was like, Yes! That was your boy.

SPEAKER_02 45:45

That was your favorite kill. That was a brief moment of relief.

SPEAKER_03 45:48

Yes, yes, yes. I think I giggled at that. I'll admit that.

SPEAKER_02 45:53

I really, for as much as I hated the ending like climactic incest moment, I thought it was really on brand that the brother had a Prince Albert piercing on his dick. And then I even thought so far as when the dog ate the dick, I was like, is she gonna choke on the piercing? But then she spits it out at the end, and I was like, okay, good.

SPEAKER_03 46:16

We're saying I was stressed. I was stressed about that.

SPEAKER_01 46:20

Do you know they had someone make the piercing out of sugar so that it would be safe if the dog didn't, you know, throw it at throw it back up.

SPEAKER_05 46:26

Dan, did you just ruin your fact or fiction? No.

SPEAKER_01 46:29

That was a freebie. Just for you.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

You all know Mac gives away the cow for free. Yeah, he does. Not even just a little bit of milk, the whole damn cow. Just take it all. Just take it all. Now, what I think is interesting is that four out of the five of us kind of detest this movie. And Alexis, you love it. But while you may be in the minority on this panel, this movie is really well received critically. Like, this is a super popular movie, and a lot of people see this as like a feminist triumph, which kind of blows my mind.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

Yeah, I was just talking about that. I was uh like it's funny that most of us here are on this hack side, and I know that this is a movie that people like. Like we were talking about it, like people were excited to see it on our schedule. And it's like me and Alexis are usually on the same boat here. I'm actually surprised I'm not on the slash side because I'm usually like, you know, whatever, it's a movie. But this one got me. But um I uh outside of like the the story matter and everything, did you guys feel like this movie was kind of slow to start? Yes.

SPEAKER_05 47:32

I I yeah I mean, looking back, I mean, I don't know. Like cause it went, I think because I knew what the movie was about, so I was like, all right, when is it gonna get to that part?

SPEAKER_03 47:42

Or like what are the so almost an hour in before we got any before we got any vagina?

SPEAKER_02 47:49

Is it really an hour?

SPEAKER_03 47:51

I guess so. Almost.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 47:53

Almost. I think maybe, maybe like 45. But uh that was one thing I was thinking about. I was like, it kind of moves slow, and I wonder what my experience would have been like if I didn't accidentally read the synopsis of this movie. Because I I wouldn't have known.

SPEAKER_01 48:05

Like I think, I think that's why you think it's slow, is because you were expecting like immediate tooth action.

SPEAKER_03 48:11

I was like, come on, girl, figure out what's down there. Come on. She almost did.

SPEAKER_05 48:16

She almost lost it. I was watching that. I was like, damn, when I dream, if I ever have I'm just gonna go too deep in here.

SPEAKER_03 48:24

Maybe I'm gonna go too far. But her fantasies were literally just about being in a wedding. That's what I'm gonna say.

SPEAKER_05 48:28

If I'm having a fantasy and I'm sleeping, they don't involve me getting married. Maybe after I get married or something, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 48:37

But like, how did she guys like throwing that whole fantasy as she's sleeping in her bed and starts slowly revealing herself to Jesus by pulling down her blanket? And then the tremor comes.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

Oh, that was interesting.

SPEAKER_04 48:52

I do think it was it was it felt really slow for me, and I think it felt slow because I was so bothered by the promise and the purity and the cult-like mannerisms of all those kids. I was just kind of bored of them, honestly. Like if it wasn't for Paris' commentary, I would have been sufficiently bored throughout this entire thing.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

They definitely took their time laying that groundwork. And they did it all real sick. Yeah. And it was sort of like one, we're staring at her in these horrible outfits for 45 minutes. So uh two, it's just all about abstinence and like your gift that you give to a man that you marry. And it was a little too real for me having seen this before, um, like in real life. But I was like, okay, we get it. She's that girl at school, everyone makes fun of her. Let's move on and like get this show on the road. And it also took her way too long to take like a hand mirror and look at her own vagina.

SPEAKER_03 49:51

Yes, that's that's my point.

SPEAKER_02 49:52

Yeah, you gotta get it. Give me that like 20 minutes away.

SPEAKER_05 49:55

But I feel like it was up there because like she wouldn't have seen anything. Yeah, no, because I mean, like not that I'm describing any of the sex scenes, but like they're entering and they don't feel it for right. But maybe that's because it doesn't clamp till later. I mean, it's like a Venus fall eye trap. That's what it is. Oh no. Ooh, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 50:17

She almost feels like one of the forgotten X-Men that like never made the cut.

SPEAKER_06 50:21

Oh yes.

SPEAKER_02 50:22

It's like she's the mutant that doesn't get the attention, she doesn't get invited to the institute, she just has to fight it out on her own. And in the end, she kind of owns her power and becomes this sort of like vagilante.

SPEAKER_05 50:34

Oh no, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 50:37

It seems like a good idea, but that man at the end, no thank you.

SPEAKER_03 50:42

Boy, I'm glad that we can find joy in this, truly. This movie is only funny with friends.

SPEAKER_06 50:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 50:49

Yeah, that's I a hundred percent agree. If I had watched this with you guys, I know I wouldn't have been as uncomfortable as I was.

SPEAKER_01 50:57

Still very bad, though.

SPEAKER_03 50:59

Still very bad.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

So I didn't think overall that it was like a bad movie. I just thought there were parts that turned me off, you know, from from giving it a slash. Like, you know, as a movie is, like it's got the essentials for making a decent movie. It's just that uh there was the particulars that I didn't agree with.

SPEAKER_03 51:17

Oh, I was gonna say a moment that I really enjoyed is when they're like in the water making out at the rope, and then she's she grabs his hand off her boot and is just like, purity. Like, what I thought that scene was beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

That place, I want to find out where it is. I want to have sex there in that beautiful cave by the waterfall.

SPEAKER_04 51:37

The cave of wonders.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

Oh, yeah. She's like, hey, come into this cave that we just learned everyone has sex in, but don't have sex with me. Also, she sat on that blanket without hesitation, and I was like, This blanket is covered in loads. Don't touch it, you're gonna get herpes just by sitting there. And she wraps it around her.

SPEAKER_03 51:55

Not wrong. Not wrong. Did you guys okay, but did you guys have like places in high school that you like knew people hung out? Like we had a place in the woods, like where we knew people and hung out, yeah. Or would hang out, yeah. And there would be blankets and stuff, and you definitely don't touch them because it's definitely not where you want to be.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

No.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

Ours was called two-story hill because the hill was about two stories tall.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

Ours did not have a name, it was just like a spooky section of the woods with like an old gross blanket, like beer cans, used condoms, and it was like, oh yeah, I want to lose my opportunity here.

SPEAKER_01 52:29

Well that sounds so romantic.

SPEAKER_03 52:32

Life is hard.

SPEAKER_01 52:33

I was too well behaved in high school to know about anything like that.

SPEAKER_03 52:35

So really bullshit.

SPEAKER_01 52:37

No hard no joke.

SPEAKER_05 52:39

He's a good Catholic boy. I so I went to uh I barely dated in high school, first of all.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

And same. Yeah, and then second of all, I was very busy. I was a varsity football player, I was a JRTC nerd.

SPEAKER_05 52:51

Excuse me.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

I was a band nerd, humble brag, I was in a little punk band, so most of my time was spent, you know, doing activities.

SPEAKER_05 52:57

Wait, how could you be punk and be on the football team? That does not exist in 2008. It did not.

SPEAKER_01 53:03

I wasn't in high school in 2008, so it was literally he was in high school in 1964.

SPEAKER_03 53:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 53:09

Back in my day.

SPEAKER_04 53:10

Even worse.

SPEAKER_01 53:12

When I was in high school, the human body hadn't been invented yet.

SPEAKER_04 53:15

All right, grandpa Mac, I I want to know before we get too far down into your memory. Uh, did you relate most to the old man at the end of this movie?

SPEAKER_01 53:26

Uh no, like legit, just chop that scene out of this movie.

SPEAKER_03 53:29

That's what I thought you were talking about.

SPEAKER_01 53:30

Yeah, that particular scene, I wish we had never even seen who's in the car. I just wish we would see her get in the car and just leave and then boom, fade to black. I would have been okay with that.

SPEAKER_04 53:41

Did that moment remind you guys of Thanksgiving?

SPEAKER_01 53:43

Yes. I thought he was gonna say the phrase. I thought he was gonna say it.

SPEAKER_04 53:48

Gobble gobble?

SPEAKER_01 53:49

No. Well, the way he licked his lips. Yeah, I a hundred percent thought that the old man was gonna say that. I don't know why I've been programmed by Thanksgiving to think that God bless gobble would have worked as well. Gobble gobble. But why was he licking his lips so heavily?

SPEAKER_03 54:08

Because it's like that was their sense of being funny.

SPEAKER_01 54:10

That was their dramatic, it was just gross. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 54:17

But while this movie has a lot of flaws, I I do think there might be some little redeeming nuggets that we can at least laugh with. What was your favorite part of this movie visually?

SPEAKER_02 54:26

Uh definitely the sex cave with Toby. Uh Toby was very hot. Uh, they showed him shirtless, great body, gorgeous skin. Had I been in high school when I met him, I would have gone for it 100% that like warp tour fantasy. I was here for it. And then they go to that beautiful cave, and it's like, well, if you guys weren't lame, this could be fun. You could lose your virginity in a beautiful way in this like lovely lake in the forest.

SPEAKER_03 54:53

But in the disgusting blanket.

SPEAKER_02 54:56

Well, I I wouldn't have gone for the blanket, I would have just risked like the the sepsis and just gone right in the lake. But yeah, that that could have been isolated from this movie and put into a Nicholas Sparks movie and had a great ending.

SPEAKER_01 55:11

So for me, that was it. Visually, for me, I just liked that this like middle class suburbia looked like middle class suburbia. And it didn't look like you know the film stuff we see today where you know uh regular old families living in like a million-dollar home and everything's perfect and flawless, and somehow they're struggling. No, this legit looked like places we've all been to and seen our friends live at or lived at and you know, personally. So I I think it was just great to go with that kind of look to where it felt a bit more real.

SPEAKER_03 55:43

Yeah, I I do agree with that. Um, for me, I think it's worth mentioning that like the transformation that they make with her, maybe not mentally, like mentally it wasn't really what I wanted, but visually, she starts as this very like fragile, uh protected girl with ridiculous outfits. And at the end, she looks like a woman, you know, like she she looks like a completely different person. Like it, you know, every bit of her changed. And um, I think that was really successful. I know that that's what they were trying to do. I don't love everything that they tried with it, but like, you know, she's wearing that like white dress at the end and like running on her bike and everything, and that's totally different from where she started.

SPEAKER_05 56:24

So, like going just continuing with that, um, you see her like super frazzled in the beginning. Um, it kind of reminds me like a sort of like a carry on this sort of transformation. Um, so my favorite scene is like you see her all frazzled, you always see her like her hair is dingy, like like she doesn't, even though she's pure, she doesn't look like it. She looks all razzled. Favorite part, unfortunately, is when she's in bed with her stepbrother and the lights on her, and I think it's I don't know what it is, but it's like some look in her eye where it's like you finally have seen her transformation and her eyes are lit, like she like she does seem more mature, and I think that's when I'm like, you know what? She knows exactly I mean she knew what she was doing before then, but then you actually see like the kind of transformations she's been through and you can actually like see it in her face and in her look right then, and the way the light's coming in, and she just looks so pretty.

SPEAKER_01 57:21

Uh green I think that was such a great look because internally for me, it seems like she's presented in a way that shows she never lost that purity that she was trying to hold on to. People are chipping away at it, but she held on to it to who she was and the things that she cared about. She never gave that up.

SPEAKER_05 57:41

She, you know, people took it away from her.

SPEAKER_01 57:44

Yeah, well, that's what she's the thing that I think was kind of disturbing is like she kept feeling like people, which is what people feel all the day long, is that like someone else has taken this was like you didn't. They didn't take anything from you. You held on to who you are and what's important to you. Even when she has the interest in in the douchebag who lives with his mom and set the candles up and everything like that, she thought it was because they had a real connection that he cared about her. It's unfortunate for him that he was a huge douchebag. So he's just lost half of his manhood. But no, that that moment where she's like wearing the white dress and it seems very pure, it was like, good for you. You have retained that purity and who you are and what you care about. Just because people are attacking you doesn't mean you're less.

SPEAKER_02 58:27

I think you're right, Mac. Like you kind of see her struggle with that when she goes to give like the second abstinence speech. Because the first one, she's like on the top of her game. She's like, I'm a virgin as fuck. You guys can't tell me anything, and it's all like very normal for her. And after the first uh assault, when she's feeling like she's not pure anymore, she goes back to this and she's like kind of spiraling out on stage. And I think from her perspective, like the chanting, everything seemed much more culty for her because she was like, Wait, my whole world has been shattered. What does this even mean? People have made fun of me for this, like all through high school, and now I'm kind of starting to see it too, because like purity isn't what I thought it was. Maybe she's starting to realize that virginity is a construct. Um, but she you can see her kind of breaking down and like re-establishing what her world is gonna be post a really traumatic incident, and it's one that doesn't really include this purity circle anymore.

SPEAKER_04 59:27

So while that moment is beautiful uh and and tragic and harrowing and dark and disturbing, but also kind of sets up her her arc very nicely, I think the only thing I actually really, really, really enjoyed in this movie was the shot that made the movie. The one that you can tell was the idea that this guy had in his head the whole time, and that's with her in the bathtub. And it's very nightmare on Elm Street with uh Nancy in the tub before Freddie comes up.

SPEAKER_05 59:58

Which that wasn't even like very iconic for the film, like nothing really I thought we were gonna get some teeth or something. I thought she was gonna try like I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:08

Like a hand would be reaching into the tub and there'd be blood, you know, coming up or something.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:12

Yeah, or like maybe a penis left in there or something. I don't know. It floats to the top.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:17

Oh my god. Missed opportunity filmmakers. Would a penis float?

SPEAKER_04 1:00:24

I don't know, it might be too dense.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:26

I mean, the human body floats, so yeah. It only stands to reason.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:31

I mean, with how graphic this all was, I was really expecting a scene where like her vagina fully spits out one of the dicks, and that didn't happen, so I was disappointed.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:40

It just kind of dropped it. I wanted like sound effects, like a like a the other really good part about this movie was the the confrontation uh that it took on male entitlement. Now I will say that ends there because I don't want to give it too much credit. I still didn't do it very successfully, but is there anything else that you guys can find that's redeeming about this movie? Anything else that you enjoyed?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:05

I do think it realistically showed, like, you know, how many dudes act and think about women. Perhaps we didn't necessarily see the kind of growth we wanted to see in all the characters, but I think the douchebags that we're all observing, all those just wicked douche canoes, those are real people every day that people like live with and experience. Although sometimes they seem kind of you know wild and like Hollywood, and they're like, oh, that can't be the guys aren't not all guys correct, not all guys are that bad. But these dudes are real dudes in real life that people experience every day. So I think it was I think it was good that they actually showed stuff like that. The chanting and some of the cult like behavior of the of the group that she belonged to was a bit more intense than I had seen, you know, the my high school friends go through. But I think it shows the feeling that they had and then the guilt that they later had if they ever deviated from the plan. That feeling she has during that second, you know, that second conference where she's getting up and like can't even talk and she feels feels like she's broken her promise. A lot of them dealt with with that guilt forever. A lot of people I know personally. You know, if they ever didn't stick to God's plan, they they felt like they had failed. And you're like, man, it's not everything's black and white, they're shades of gray in life.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:25

I do also be you. I do also think it's interesting though that she this happened to her and she's shouldering that weight as if she did it willingly. And that's just I mean, it's it's very real, uh, it's it's very relatable, but I do think that's one of the more tragic elements about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:43

I think one kind of silver lining to come from this movie is that there's actually a kind of anti-rape condom inspired by this concept. Basically, it's like one-way teeth that a woman keeps inside of her in countries where rape is like an everyday threat. Um, but for these women, it's sort of like a if you try to penetrate me without my consent, you're gonna be in a world of hurt and you're gonna be paralyzed and debilitated. Could you imagine? I can't.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:16

No, I I don't want to imagine. I think one of the interesting things though is that like when looking at that, there's like this big debate in like, is it in itself female enslavement? Because like, why should a woman have to protect herself against that? But then it's like, okay, well, let her have the resources to protect herself if men can't stop themselves. Like they should, they absolutely should, but I think there's this really interesting kind of debate that goes along with that.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:48

Oh, yeah, no, I totally agree. We we shouldn't be at a point where we need these kind of things, but we are, unfortunately. So I like the idea of having teeth in my vagina, actually.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:58

Yeah, you do kind of like Miley Cyrus in that uh music video. What? Yeah, what it is the uh the mother's daughter's music video. She wears like a pink suit and there's like metal teeth.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:10

Oh yeah, that was visually very beautiful.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:13

Sounds like Miley. Well, folks, there is a a lot to say about this movie, as bizarre and startling as it may be. And Wild Teeth 2007 was ranked four hacks and one slash on our podcast. The world tends to disagree. This isn't critically favored, but let's go ahead and start winding things down with our factor fiction.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:34

Yes, let's do such things. I have a little fact, I have a little fiction, let's see which ones we get. Number one, uh the people living in the neighborhood where the first scene was uh filmed. The one with the swimming pool and the young kids and the I'll show you mine if you show me yours kind of situation. So that the neighbors in the neighborhood protested because they thought they were gonna film something pornographic.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:56

I'm gonna say fact. Fact.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:01

I'm gonna say fiction. I don't think they were informed at all what was going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:05

I think I'd go fiction because I'm not certain that this would have been filmed in a real neighborhood.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:10

I see. Well, it is a fact. It did happen. It was filmed in a real neighborhood. Sorry to disappoint.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:16

You know when you're about to get it wrong, because he looks at either you or I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:20

It is really disappointing that they would have thought it would have been pornographic if the first scene was the one with the two kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:27

Yeah, outside. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:29

I mean, it wasn't a kosher scene.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:33

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:34

You know? It was a different take on I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:38

It was abuse.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:38

Yeah, it was abuse. So I get it. I get it.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:41

Alright, so number two then. This movie shares an actor with it, chapter two.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:46

That's a fact. Fact. Fact.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:49

Chris told me this was a fact, so I'm going with fact.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:53

Cheaters.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:54

It it is indeed.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:56

We had the conversation yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:57

So she plays Bill's wife, Audrey Phillips.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:00

Interesting. I'm not gonna lie to you, I just went along with that because everybody else is real confident.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:05

Giving it away. Next up, the theme of the movie, Vagina Dentata. It's a real myth, spread around the world in folklore in South America, India, Japan, New Zealand, and beyond.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:16

Too many cities. I mean, too many countries. Too many details. Yeah, you probably added. I'm gonna go fact, but that's a lot of details. I feel like you messed something up. I'm gonna go fiction. Fact.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:26

We'll see who.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:27

I want this to be a fact, but even when they were explaining it in the movie, I was like, I'd have never heard of this outside of the context of this film.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:34

Doesn't vagina dentata sound like Hakuna Matada?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:37

Vagina Dentata.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:40

For the rest of your days.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:42

Oh my god. Yeah, I'm gonna say fiction.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:44

It means no worries. Oh, the gays.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:49

Oh. Y'all wanted a twist?

SPEAKER_04 1:06:53

Vagina dentata. Vagina dentata.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:58

That was that was amazing. Well, it turns out that that was a fact. Now, each of the different myths vary kind of somewhat from one culture to the other.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:10

So it was kind of false.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:12

No, it's a fact. It's a fact. But some of them involve like a demon thing that's hiding there, and then people have to, you know, banish it. There's one of them where they have to like build a tool to smash its teeth. There's other ones where it is used as a defense mechanism. There's like there's one where some trickster is trying to reverse human mortality by going back to the womb, as if that's how this works. And then another god is like, I got this, and then eats the thing that try. Yeah, it's all the myths are very different and very interesting, but they all are spread throughout the world.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:52

I will also say it's really fucky that this myth, like this this legend, a lot of it is um, you know, uh and against having sex with unknown women, as if women are the problem.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:05

Right. It's the men. It's been the men all along. I feel like men just get really creative when it comes to like avoiding going down on a woman.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:15

I mean, really, if they had done that, then they wouldn't have had uh to lose anything, right?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:19

There's nothing to fear. Well, that leaves us with our final fact or fiction. There was one group promoting Purity or Promise Rings in the 90s and 2000s that received over a million dollars in federal funding before they were sued by the ACLU. And that they actually, the government was sued for funding them.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:35

Yeah, you're you're talking too much. Facts. Fact details. Fiction.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:39

I'm gonna say fiction, but I'm really bad at this.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:41

I feel like the funding part is fact and the suing part is fiction.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:45

Hate to disappoint, but that was a fact.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:47

Bam!

SPEAKER_01 1:08:47

So the ACLU actually sued the government. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:50

You kept talking after that.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:52

I did.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:52

I did.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:53

So they sued the government, so they suspended the funding to this group, and they needed a corrective action plan and resumed funding. So they are still out there under a different name, getting that money to tell kids that sex is bad and they shouldn't do it until they're married.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:10

That's so shitty.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:11

Want wan. I know. Yep. But all of us know better.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:15

Why can't you do what my stepdad did? And he was just like, you're gonna get an STD as soon as you have sex. He was literally like there I thought there was no other if I was gonna have sex, I was gonna have an STD. I was like, fuck, man. Like, man, then I just kind of was like, meh, maybe it's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:32

And then you die.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:35

I just uh naturally abstained because of the whole gay thing. You know, which didn't happen.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:41

Yeah, sex in high school is hard when you're gay.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:43

Yeah, yeah. So glad you can relate.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:46

I will say there's nothing wrong with making the decision to wait. I personally don't think there's anything anything wrong if if that's what you value and that's what you believe. But I don't think that should be forced onto anyone. And no one should be made to feel guilty about themselves for being a human being with hormones.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:02

Says the Catholic man.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:04

You're welcome.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:05

You had to put that plug in.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:07

I didn't have to do it. The Pope didn't tell me to.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

Listen, just educate the kids, give them everything they need, and let them decide. There you go.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:15

We all have brains, we can all use them.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:17

Alright, Mac, thank you for the enlightening fact or fiction. Uh, learned more here than I ever did in Sex Ed in High School, so well done to you. Well, folks, this has been an interesting and an interesting ride on our show. This was a dark comedy horror film, and I don't think very many of us laughed very much. But we want to know what you think. Uh obviously there are so many people out there who enjoy this movie, and we want to hear your thoughts. Now keep in mind there are plenty of ways to reach out to us. First and foremost at our website, www.hackerslash.com. And on our social accounts, Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:55

You can also hit us up at the Hackerslash Hotline. You can text us, call us, leave us a voicemail, or an audio message. The number is 757-606-0128.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:04

And if you have the superpower of having teeth in your vagina, send us an email to feedback at hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:10

I would like to know. We'll see you next time. Bye.