SPEAKER_01 0:07

Greetings and salutations and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. It's good to have you. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We, your horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack, a total joke, a waste of time, or a slash.

SPEAKER_11 0:23

Totally killer. Unintended.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

My name is Chris. I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Hola Muchachos.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

The Gore Lover Alexis. Hey everyone. The cowardly creeper Ryan. Hiya. And the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Hey sweets.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

Today we're celebrating our show's third birthday. I can't believe it's been this long. And uh, you know, when we sat down to consider what movie would be best to review on such an occasion, we thought, why not live out our own movie, Mac?

SPEAKER_11 0:50

Indeed, welcome to our first hacker slash role-playing night in honor of our third birthday. You, hacker slash crew, are playing 18-year-old camp counselors at Camp Happy Dreams.

SPEAKER_09 1:03

Shout out to Camp Happy Dreams.

SPEAKER_00 1:06

I'm just happy to be here.

SPEAKER_11 1:07

This tiny summer camp lies in the wooded hills of the heart of the US of A and borders Lake Sleepyton to one side. Will you survive the slasher roleplay? Or will you roll a one and have your heart ripped from your chest by a mysterious killer?

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Oh, this sounds like my kind of party. Also, what's with all the dreams and sleepiness? Maybe it's for your boy Freddie. Who knows?

SPEAKER_11 1:29

I will be your narrator, but I'll also act with divine powers. I decide what does and does not happen, depending on where we want to take the story. And the power of the dice will determine if you are successful at what you set out to do, or if you will fail in miserable ways and ultimately end up in Alexis's kill count.

SPEAKER_06 1:48

I love it. I love it.

SPEAKER_11 1:51

I will also provide the voice for the characters in the story other than you, or non-player characters. Alright, ready to roll?

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Oh, you know it.

SPEAKER_09 1:59

I'm scared. I feel fully unprepared, but I'm ready.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

And the other thing is, you know that since we always talk trash about crappy deaths in these movies, then we're definitely gonna have better deaths tonight. I hope so. I hope it's gory. That's all I have to say. Why don't you just like get snuffed out by like a pillow?

SPEAKER_06 2:18

That would be so depressing.

SPEAKER_00 2:19

Or like a carbon monoxide lake. Or like you trip into a lake and can't swim.

SPEAKER_06 2:25

Sounds like me. Chris, you guys better have better deaths than that.

SPEAKER_11 2:29

Alright, well, we find ourselves somewhere in the woods, surrounded by the cold air of a pitch black night. A cool breeze blows through, and a shadowy figure walks slowly through the dense woods before gripping a tree and peering at a brightly lit campfire in the middle of a clearing. Surrounding the campfire, five kids, no older than twelve or thirteen, roasting marshmallows over the flames as they share ghost stories.

SPEAKER_04 2:57

And then when he shut the door, he saw a hook in the handle.

SPEAKER_11 3:02

There was a hook and a handle? I heard about the one where he had the hook for a hand.

SPEAKER_04 3:06

Oh no no no. Coming misconception. Alright, man, it's a hook on the handle. What is that for hanging shirts?

SPEAKER_06 3:12

It is for hanging shirts. Shirts that have bees on them. What?

unknown 3:16

Whoa!

SPEAKER_05 3:17

I've never heard that one.

SPEAKER_11 3:18

I'm scared. Tim stops as he hears something off in the woods. Listen, I hear something.

SPEAKER_05 3:24

Oh shut up, Tim. You you know I I'm sick of your jokes, man. You're always out here trying to scare all of us, man. Just you know, what's your damage?

SPEAKER_11 3:32

Alright, just be quiet and just listen for a second. The others quiet their laughter and listen for a sound. An owl hoots overhead and then flies away.

SPEAKER_05 3:45

Oh, real scary, man. Real scary. God, you're such a wimp. Did you see that? Did you see that? The owl?

SPEAKER_06 3:51

We all saw it! No, you didn't see that shiny thing? Flicker in the light?

SPEAKER_11 3:55

I I didn't see anything shiny, but I did see the owl, but I heard I swear I heard something. As the teens continue on about the owl, the shadowy figure appears behind Tim and raises an axe high in the air. Before Tim can realize the danger, the axe plunges into his head and his blood spurts onto the campfire. The others scream as the figure removes the axe and Tim plops down onto the ground.

SPEAKER_00 4:19

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 4:21

What? Oh my god, guys, run, run, run! We need to fight back! Why?

SPEAKER_11 4:25

As the others attempt to get up and run away, the killer turns towards Elizabeth and throws the axe swiftly into her face, her mouth still open from screaming and fear.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Why my face?

SPEAKER_11 4:36

Lincoln stands tall in front of the campfire, reaches into his pocket, and produces a large slingshot. He takes aim, fires, and lands a large stone straight into the head of the killer.

SPEAKER_09 4:46

You got him! I hope both his eyes don't work.

SPEAKER_11 4:48

The killer is not affected. He reaches behind his back and produces a machete. He throws it towards Lincoln, sending it spiraling horizontally until it lops off his head into the fire.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Ricky's trying to run away from the fire.

SPEAKER_11 5:02

If Ricky would like to attempt, Ricky can roll. Oh, but Elizabeth couldn't roll?

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Did Elizabeth have the presence of mind to ask? Ooh.

SPEAKER_11 5:11

Ricky runs away from the fire. A voice is heard from across the clearing. It is Camp Counselor Mike. He is tall, strong, and the night's breeze blows through his flowing blonde hair. He reaches into his undersized denim shorts and produces a pocket knife. Hey you, leave these kids alone. He charges towards the killer, knife in hand, fixed upon his target. The killer watches, tilting his head in disbelief, and dodges as Camp Counselor Mike trips on a log and falls face first into the dirt. The killer places his boot on Elizabeth's head and removes his axe, walks over to the stunned camp counselor, and plunges it into his back. As he admires his kill, he turns to see Ricky and Stewie running off into the distance. They run screaming through the dark woods until they pass a sign. Welcome to Camp Happy Dreams. Rude. Six years later. It's a sunny day, and we're in a grassy field surrounded by several cabins and other large buildings. The field slopes down until it reaches the cool, crisp waters of Lake Sleepington. At the top of the hill, a woman with a sharp, angled, fashionable haircut and slim glasses peers down at 20 young kids with four teenage camp counselors in between. Welcome to Camp Happy Dreams. I'm the camp's caretaker and owner, Karen. The 20 of you will be guided this summer by our four camp counselors. Five of you will stay in each counselor's cabin, and they will make sure you're safe and having fun this summer. Counselors, introduce yourselves. Please tell everyone your name and a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 6:47

Hi, I'm Vivica Ladybush. I am obviously the hottest and sluttiest of the camp counselors here. I'm also very rich, as you can tell. By the way, I'm kept. Also, you know, if you get to be in my camp, we're gonna have a lot of fun this summer. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 7:01

I will second that. I am Sandy. I think I might be the sluttiest, but you know what? Those who want to be first are usually uh talking too much shit. I am the rebel with more experience than her peers, and but I also have this like cool geeky side. I love horror movies and I like reading. So catch me on the flip side.

SPEAKER_09 7:19

Hi, my name is Reina. I am your chem counselor for this week. I am uh very friendly. I would love to get to know all of you. Like to know your talents and your your your passions.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Okay, we should have a good time. Hey, I'm Chrysler. I'm just here so I don't get fined. I don't care about any of you. Just shut your mouths, be where you had to be, when you had to be there, and we'll be alright.

SPEAKER_11 7:40

Okay, let's just get right to it. Thanks so much for introducing yourselves. Meet up with your counselors and go have fun.

SPEAKER_04 7:48

Where where are you from?

SPEAKER_09 7:49

I came from my family. They birthed me, they raised me, I love goats. We take care of each other. I come here, I want a good life.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Don't listen to Chrysler. They're from the wrong side of the tracks, obviously. What is your study? Who are you? Oh, me. I grew up in Beverly Hills. My family is very rich. I uh am going to Harvard next year. Oh. And I'm just here because I like to have fun, but I don't play games.

SPEAKER_09 8:17

Has your family done something important in this world?

SPEAKER_00 8:19

They gave birth to me.

SPEAKER_09 8:21

Do they own businesses or do they have connections?

SPEAKER_00 8:24

Yes, to both. They're very well connected, they are very wealthy. Uh, my father is an entrepreneur, he did invent toasters. Maybe you've heard of them.

SPEAKER_09 8:33

Tell me your first and last name again, please.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

Vivica Ladybush of the Ladybush dynasty.

SPEAKER_06 8:39

Very nice to meet you. Chrysler, I'm loving that uh Jean Jackie you got on. Just loving your style right now.

SPEAKER_01 8:45

Oh, well, thank you. Not used to the compliments.

SPEAKER_09 8:47

Is this what they call hipster? Just cool, just happy to be here, but tries to pretend like nothing was on purpose. I've heard of this.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

I think it's called being poor.

SPEAKER_09 8:56

Is is that what it is? Sandy, where did you come from? Tell me your story.

SPEAKER_06 9:00

I'm from west side of Cleveland, okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Oh, that's funny. I'm from the east side of Cleveland.

SPEAKER_06 9:04

Oh shit. We do have a lot in common. What is Cleveland? This is the roughest city in the Midwest.

SPEAKER_11 9:12

As the counselor is dilly dally, instead of bringing the kids to their cabins, a figure appears. A man, well built, slicked back hair, chiseled body. He's wearing a nurse's outfit.

SPEAKER_06 9:25

Daddy.

SPEAKER_11 9:26

Can I roll to fuck him? Hey there, counselors. I'm Anton. I am the camp nurse. I'm here to make sure all of you stay very healthy. Now, since you're not actually like helping the children right now, if you want to follow me, if anyone would like to help me, I just need to inventory some product. I'm not doing that.

SPEAKER_06 9:45

Yeah, I'll go. Oh, I'll go to you. I'll go to you.

SPEAKER_11 9:47

What's your name?

SPEAKER_06 9:48

It's Edelina Petrovic.

SPEAKER_11 9:50

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

Uh, I don't know how to say that, but you just stay here, okay? You stay right here.

SPEAKER_09 9:55

Okay, I'll stay here.

SPEAKER_02 9:56

I don't want to do that, so I'm gonna stay with Reyna.

SPEAKER_11 9:58

Okay, both of you then stay right here.

SPEAKER_09 9:59

Vivica, I like you.

SPEAKER_11 10:00

The other two, come with me. We're gonna actually go ahead and go to the medical cabin and inventory some band-aids. Have so much fun. Bye. Chrysler and Sandy follow Anton, the camp nurse, to the medical cabin. Leaving behind Reina and Vivica. Another figure appears. A burly man with a belly hanging over his pants. He is sweaty. Very sweaty. You can see it from yards away.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

Hey there, kids.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

How you doing there? This is your first time at camp? Yes, it is. And who are you? Uh I'm the chef. You can just call me chef. Hi, chef.

SPEAKER_09 10:37

Chef, you seem a bit sweaty. What have you been up to?

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Look, man, you gotta know one thing, alright? Rule one, fat boys sweat. Okay, so get that, get that straight right now, fat boys sweat. You're not that fat, chef. Don't be mean to yourself. Oh, that's mighty nice of you. Every day I'm trying to eat more donuts, you know, see what I can do. I'm I'm trying to get my maximum, you know what I mean? Well, look, uh since y'all are both standing here, those kids are fine down there.

SPEAKER_11 11:01

Does one of y'all want to come with me? We're gonna head on over to the canteen and get some food ready. I just need someone to hold all that chicken, you know, as I'm getting ready to put it into the pot.

SPEAKER_09 11:11

Chef, I love cooking. I would love to come with you.

SPEAKER_02 11:14

Well, that that'll do nicely, and I like that accent. I don't know what it is, but you want to come with me? Alright, go ahead and follow me.

SPEAKER_09 11:20

Yes, what are we making? We're making chicken.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Oh, it is yeah, we're gonna make some chicken. That's right. Have fun, Raina.

SPEAKER_08 11:26

Bye.

SPEAKER_09 11:27

Bye, Vivika, whatever you need, Chef. I'll help.

SPEAKER_11 11:29

That accent's fake. Raina follows the chef to the canteen. He leads her through the back door into the kitchen.

SPEAKER_09 11:37

You know, this is a very strange way into the restaurant.

SPEAKER_11 11:40

Oh, we're just, you know, I just need you to hold all this chicken. I'm gonna pick it up and I'm gonna put it in the big old pot. Do you mind holding these like three stacks of chicken for me?

SPEAKER_09 11:48

Have they been rinsed?

SPEAKER_11 11:49

Oh, we're gonna rinse some things, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_09 11:52

Okay, I will hold it for you. Whatever you need.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

Oh, you know, I mean, if it's whatever I need, we can just go back in that deep freezer right there.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

I mean, if you want to talk about it.

SPEAKER_09 12:01

I will kill you. Please leave me alone. I don't think you know who I am, and I don't think this is a good time to test me. I'm here to help you, but I will not be pressured into anything I don't want to do.

SPEAKER_11 12:11

Chef picks up a knife and looks staringly at Ryana. You sure about that?

SPEAKER_09 12:15

Chef, I don't think you know who I am. I don't think you know where I'm from, and I don't think you know what I'm capable of.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

That I ain't worried about any of that.

SPEAKER_09 12:22

I think you should be, because you're a little bit fat, and I'm really nice looking, and I will ruin your life.

SPEAKER_11 12:27

The chef does not take kindly to these words. He presses Ryan against the wall and puts the knife blade against her throat. What does she do?

SPEAKER_08 12:35

Wait, what do I do? Good luck.

SPEAKER_09 12:37

Well, in this situation, obviously I will stand up for myself. I will attempt to grab a frying pan from the stove and smack him in the head with it.

SPEAKER_11 12:45

Let's find out what fate holds. We're gonna roll one die.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Womp womp.

SPEAKER_11 12:51

You grab the frying pan. You attempt to swing at his head, but Rina misses. He still has her held up against the wall. Miam in the balls. The chef reaches his hand back and attempts to swing at Rina's throat. The chef is not successful.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

I'm gonna burst in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_11 13:10

As he misses her throat, suddenly Vivica barges into the kitchen.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

Are you guys having fun without me?

SPEAKER_09 13:17

Help me, help me! This monster is trying to trying to kill me or something.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

I'm gonna uh wrestle this fat chef into the oven. Tell us what your role.

SPEAKER_11 13:28

No, I'm not. I got a one. Vivica attempts to wrestle the fat chef into the oven. The chef is pulled away from Raina, but his head does not quite make it into the oven. Instead, he is on the floor, laying helplessly, his knife out of his hand.

SPEAKER_09 13:43

Thank you, Vivica. I don't understand. I just wanted to be nice to this chef. I just wanted to hold this check.

SPEAKER_00 13:48

We don't have time for this. We need to kill him.

SPEAKER_09 13:50

I will. I can I can smack him with this frying pan.

SPEAKER_00 13:54

Go ahead. Oh my god, we're gonna die.

SPEAKER_11 13:56

Raina smacks the chef in the head with a frying pan. He's knocked unconscious, lays there, sweatily breathing.

SPEAKER_09 14:03

Vivica, thank you so much. I knew you were a good person to be around.

SPEAKER_00 14:06

I'm not a good person to be around. Help me drag him into this freezer.

SPEAKER_09 14:09

I would love to. This fat man doesn't deserve.

SPEAKER_11 14:12

They drag the chef into the freezer and lock the door, leaving the canteen to rejoin their friends in the medical cabin.

SPEAKER_06 14:20

Where what took you guys so freaking long? We've been waiting forever.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

Yeah, do you know how long it takes to to sort band-aids? I don't even know they had some of these colors. Really? They all looked a shade of brown.

SPEAKER_09 14:30

Or all shades of brown.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

Oh my god, that sounds so hard.

SPEAKER_09 14:33

Listen, shades of brown are beautiful, but there was this disgusting chef man that tried to kill me, and Vivika saved me. Wait, what did he look like?

SPEAKER_00 14:41

He was fat and sweaty.

SPEAKER_09 14:42

Yes, Vivica. Did you see his sweat? He left it everywhere. There was sweats on the counters, there were sweats in his clothes.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Wait, did he have um I think he had a medical condition?

SPEAKER_06 14:51

Bullcut? Brown, brown hair, bowl cut? Yes, with with my ex-boyfriend ended up coming to camp and following me. I'm so sorry, guys.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Maybe you are the sluttiest one.

SPEAKER_06 15:02

Does he also have beard that doesn't connect? Because it is embarrassing. Yeah, he can't grow it out fully. I'm so sorry. It's embarrassing. Wait, you need a chef that's sweaty? It was hot. He was making me food all the time. And she likes what she likes. Well, I can't be mad at that.

SPEAKER_11 15:17

Okay, you guys in here. Is everyone getting my band? Are the band-aids sword in already? Because you guys are taking a long time. Should somebody check on the kids? That isn't me. As the counselors turn to leave, they hear a large, piercing shriek from one of the children.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

I run towards the shrieking.

SPEAKER_00 15:33

Also running towards the shrieking.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Uh well, I I tried running, uh, but as it turns out, I lost my one very quickly, and I had to reach into my pocket and pull out my inhaler.

SPEAKER_00 15:46

I'm gonna make a beeline back to the kitchen real quick.

SPEAKER_11 15:49

Vivica runs very fast all the way back to the kitchen at the back of the canteen.

SPEAKER_06 15:54

Girl, don't leave me. I'm following you.

SPEAKER_11 15:57

Bitch, come on. Get inside. Sandy, running, albeit a little bit slower, eventually makes it to the kitchen.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

I want to explore the kitchen for a weapon of some sort before investigating the scream. I totally agree. I got a three.

SPEAKER_11 16:09

Vivica looks around along with Sandy and they notice a few things. The knife still on the floor. A few other butcher knives. A few pots and pans. And of course, an apple corer.

SPEAKER_06 16:21

I think I'm gonna grab one of the butcher knives.

SPEAKER_11 16:23

Okay, since you picked up a knife, you grabbed the butcher knife, we're gonna throw that in as one of your items.

SPEAKER_06 16:27

Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_11 16:28

So, in terms of damage that a knife can do, it's pretty hefty. We're gonna say four dice rolls.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

I too am gonna grab a knife.

SPEAKER_11 16:35

Vivica grabs an even larger knife and adds it into her waistband. For that knife, we are also gonna say four dice rolls.

SPEAKER_01 16:42

After I take a few pumps of my inhaler, I'm gonna try running again.

SPEAKER_11 16:48

Chrysler, attempting to run once more, falls down, attempting to breathe.

SPEAKER_09 16:55

I would like to run to the sound, not necessarily to the kitchen.

SPEAKER_11 17:02

Ryan runs, sprinting towards the sound of a shriek made by a child. When she arrives, she notices five children dead, bloody. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 17:13

What happened here? Who who who did this? What is happening? Uh uh, they're dead.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Is Raina a psychic? Can she commune with the dead?

SPEAKER_01 17:22

Chrysler, please help me. Come here. As I walk towards the sound, kind of clutching my side so that I'm having difficulty breathing. Obviously, I'm seeing the sight before us. What happened?

SPEAKER_09 17:34

Chrysler, I don't know. I showed up. There was you heard the loud scream with me, and then there was all these kids here. I I just ran towards it and just see all these kids laid out. Has anyone called the cops?

SPEAKER_02 17:44

No, because how are we gonna call cops from kids? I'm 11.

SPEAKER_09 17:48

I would like to look around and uh see if there is a weapon.

SPEAKER_01 17:52

I would like to inspect the bodies.

SPEAKER_06 17:54

I would like to go to the sound. All of us are rolling. And I'm going to the sound.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

I got a four. I'm coming too.

SPEAKER_06 18:03

I got a five.

SPEAKER_11 18:03

The camp counselors are once again rejoined inspecting the dead bodies. No signs of a weapon, but multiple stab wounds on each child and plenty of blood. Oh my god, who stabbed these kids?

SPEAKER_09 18:16

I don't know. Maybe Ghostface? What? Is this a man that you knew before?

SPEAKER_06 18:21

Possibly dated.

SPEAKER_00 18:22

Is this one of your ex-boyfriends?

SPEAKER_06 18:23

I don't know. I like him kind of scary and kinda kinky.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

My mom's got an ex-boyfriend. He was a jerk.

SPEAKER_00 18:29

Shut up, kid. What happened here?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Uh, uh, uh, I don't know. I just came over because somebody yelled and I thought there was gonna be fun.

SPEAKER_09 18:37

Okay, I'm gonna need you to go to your cabin. What is your name, baby?

SPEAKER_02 18:40

Bobby.

SPEAKER_09 18:41

Bobby, okay. Thank you. So you came because you heard noise? Yes. Okay, and you didn't see anyone, no one running, anything like this?

SPEAKER_02 18:48

No, what I got here, uh, they're dead.

SPEAKER_09 18:50

Okay, thank you, Bobby. You should go back to your cabin tomorrow. We go sailing, we'll have lots of fun. Don't worry about these.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

I'd like to check Bobby for a weapon.

SPEAKER_11 18:59

The counselors inspect Bobby. He has no weapons, no injuries, and he seems mostly okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

Okay, fine, Bobby, you can go.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Okay, bye. I am uh kind of getting like this far-off look in my eye, and I'm kinda like backing out towards the corner of the room, just like taking it all in.

SPEAKER_06 19:16

So who's uh cleaning this up? Because I'm not getting my hands dirty. Okay, somebody really needs to call the cops.

SPEAKER_01 19:22

Vivica, can you call the cops?

SPEAKER_00 19:24

I don't have a phone. This is 1980 something.

SPEAKER_06 19:27

There's one in the cabin.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

I'm not going to there.

SPEAKER_06 19:29

I'll go with you. We can all go together.

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Yeah, we need to all go together. That's the only way I'm doing this.

SPEAKER_09 19:34

Why why would we separate? We know we shouldn't. Chrysler, will you come with us? I have seen scary movies. I always hear bad things when people split up.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

I just I'm worried about what'll happen with these bodies if someone's not here to watch them.

SPEAKER_09 19:48

I think the wolves are in for the night. It'll be okay. Nobody needs to worry about the bodies.

SPEAKER_01 19:52

What wolves?

SPEAKER_09 19:53

I don't know, but we're in the woods. I'm sure there's wolves. Don't you have wolves here? I'm here, wolves. Should we check to see if the chef is still in the freezer? Vivica, we left him. He will not go anywhere. What did you do? We left Chef in in the freezer. He tried to rape me and kill me. What? This was listen, this is your ex. This is the man that you loved that couldn't grow a beard. Then he tried to then listen, this butt is delicious, okay?

SPEAKER_00 20:16

I saw the whole thing.

SPEAKER_09 20:18

Vivika, you saved my life. But listen, listen. I really appreciate you all being here, and I really think we should all go together. I don't think we should separate.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

We need to figure out where the next phone is. If we're not gonna go to the cabin. Do we know there's a phone in the kitchen? Chrysler, I agree with you.

SPEAKER_09 20:32

Let's go. I would like to look if there's a phone in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

I forgot. I'm super rich. I do have a phone.

SPEAKER_09 20:37

It is a suitcase.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

I'm gonna try to get a signal on my phone.

SPEAKER_09 20:41

Vivica, you have a cell phone? I've only seen this on TV. I'm amazed.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

I'm gonna pull it out of my giant purse and try to make a call.

SPEAKER_09 20:49

You may have a cell phone, but we made it to the moon first.

SPEAKER_11 20:53

I got a four. Vivica dials 911.

unknown 21:02

911, what's your emergency?

SPEAKER_00 21:04

Hi, we're at uh a camp uh and there's a bunch of dead kids here. Uh, can you please send help right now? Thank you. This is Vivica Ladybush of the Ladybush dynasty.

SPEAKER_11 21:12

The phone hangs up.

unknown 21:14

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_09 21:15

Vivica, you didn't even you didn't even tell them what happened. You made it sound like we killed the kids. Do we know what happened? What is wrong with you?

SPEAKER_00 21:23

I told him everything we know.

SPEAKER_06 21:24

We don't even know what happened. For all we know, it could have been one of you guys. You guys weren't even near us.

SPEAKER_09 21:30

No, but we came we heard the shrieks with you at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

He clearly already killed one guy.

SPEAKER_09 21:35

No, he is just having a nap, okay? He deserves.

SPEAKER_00 21:39

If anything, he's frostbitten.

SPEAKER_09 21:40

I don't think anyone would defend him. He does deserve, I will admit.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Okay, look. So we know there's at least one person in this camp who is inclined to violence. We should go see if he's still in the freezer.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

I support this.

SPEAKER_09 21:52

No, it is Vivika. She is the inclined to violence one.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Bitch, I saved you.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

So we know there are two people inclined to violence.

SPEAKER_09 22:00

Yes, there are two people. One is Vivica, one is Chef. Chef is locked into the icebox.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

And Vivica was unaccounted for.

SPEAKER_09 22:06

Yes, and she does like a knife.

SPEAKER_11 22:08

The counselors make their way towards the kitchen at the back of the canteen. When they arrive, they find the door unlocked and left open. Is it the freezer door?

SPEAKER_09 22:19

I did not leave this door open.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

Real great job.

SPEAKER_09 22:22

No, no, no. When we left here, Vivica, you you know, you saw me. When we left, this door was closed and locked. I did not want this man out.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

I go to the freezer to look inside.

SPEAKER_11 22:32

Chrysler heads to inspect the deep freeze. The door is left open. Nothing is inside except for food.

SPEAKER_09 22:40

Chrysler, what's in there? I left that man there.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

There's literally nothing in here but food.

SPEAKER_09 22:45

But he was there and the door only locks from the outside. Trust me, I double-checked. I know how iceboxes work, I'm very familiar.

SPEAKER_01 22:52

Well, I don't I don't know what to tell you because he's not here now. So now we have five dead kids and a violent chef walking around, and who's to say that one of you two didn't do it?

SPEAKER_09 23:01

I would like to look around and see if any of the knives are missing.

SPEAKER_11 23:03

All of the knives on the wall are back where they belong, hanging from their magnetic holster.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Should we tell the gay nurse about these injured children and maybe they can be saved?

SPEAKER_09 23:13

Before we go, I would like to take pictures with my film camera just to make sure we have documents of what happened here.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Oh get one of me.

SPEAKER_09 23:21

There should be blood on the floor of this icebox, so I will take a picture.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Don't you need to like wiggle it?

SPEAKER_11 23:38

Reina shakes the photo. It is still blank. It appears something may be wrong with their camera.

SPEAKER_09 23:43

Bebika, I need to ask you a question. And I don't am I crazy? Was he not here? Did you see, did you see the chef?

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Okay, he was here for sure, and we definitely locked the freezer. But don't you think a freezer would have some sort of way to get out if you were trapped inside of it? Isn't that the nature of a not if I meet it?

SPEAKER_06 24:02

Do we need to open the bottom to see if there's a trapdoor?

SPEAKER_11 24:06

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

There's a trapdoor. Maybe not.

SPEAKER_11 24:10

Sandy successfully opens a trapdoor at the bottom of the freezer. Holy shit. Inside of it, extra meat. Is the meat children? It's beef. It's what for dinner.

SPEAKER_06 24:19

Gosh, what's with all this meat? We're just trying to find like literally.

SPEAKER_00 24:22

Sandy, it's a meat locker.

SPEAKER_06 24:23

Do you guys not care about my safety here? Like, we need to go find this person.

SPEAKER_01 24:27

Um, no, but clearly there's a-violent with you? Or why are you concerned? I thought he was your ex-boyfriend. He was sweaty. Of course he was violent.

SPEAKER_00 24:35

That's true. That tracks.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

I'm gonna look around for a phone in the kitchen.

SPEAKER_11 24:41

Chrysler looks around for a phone and finds one. However, the cord has been cut.

SPEAKER_09 24:45

I would like to look around for any signs that someone might have left this room, left the kitchen.

SPEAKER_11 24:51

Brianna glances around the room and notices one of the windows is ajar.

SPEAKER_09 24:55

Guys, guys, I don't know if this is important, but do you see this jar in the window? You mean the window's ajar?

SPEAKER_01 25:01

Yes, it is ajar. Do you see the jar? How ajar is it, specifically? A couple inches or like it's open. It must be wide open for a sweaty man.

SPEAKER_11 25:10

It is two-thirds of the way open.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

How big is this window? Talking dimensions.

SPEAKER_11 25:14

We're talking about like a standard, maybe like three by four window.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

No, there's no way he fit through there.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Even if he's as sweaty as you said, there's no way he can be that well lubricated.

SPEAKER_06 25:23

Okay, do you guys remember the massacre that happened with the kids before?

SPEAKER_01 25:27

Chrysler freezes upon hearing mention of the massacre. You guys really don't remember? Six years ago?

SPEAKER_06 25:34

What happened?

SPEAKER_00 25:35

All those kids were killed at the campfire.

SPEAKER_06 25:37

More kids were massacred here. It was the scariest thing. Here at Camp Happy Dreams? Yes. I don't know if I'd say if it was happy dreams, maybe like nightmares. There was one survivor. It was my ex, Frank.

SPEAKER_00 25:51

The chef?

SPEAKER_06 25:52

Yes, the chef. The sweaty chef. Do you trust him? Is he trustworthy? I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 25:57

He does anyone ever trust their ex? I never had an ex, so I don't trust anyone. Well, you're a Russian spy. Of course you don't. I don't know why you call me this name. I'm not even from Russia.

SPEAKER_11 26:08

At that moment, the counselors notice there is another presence in the room. A child stands in the open doorway. Who the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_09 26:15

Vivika, can you please speak nicely when we're around children? We are chem counselors.

SPEAKER_00 26:19

Yeah, but it's also the 80s, Reina, so who the fuck is that?

SPEAKER_11 26:22

The child stares into Sandy's eyes, making not a sound.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

What does a child look like?

SPEAKER_11 26:27

A ghost. Child is small.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Blonde hair, blue eyes.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

What are you doing here?

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Somebody touch him. See if he's a ghost.

SPEAKER_09 26:34

We don't just touch kids.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

Throw something at him.

SPEAKER_09 26:36

Vivica, why are you just so intense? Why don't you just ask the boy what his name is?

SPEAKER_00 26:41

Rolling to throw something at the kid. It's a tomato.

SPEAKER_11 26:44

Vivica throws a tomato at the child. It lands a foot before the child. Oh shit, my bird arms.

SPEAKER_01 26:50

I walk up to the child, kneel before him, and just kind of wave my hand in front of him.

SPEAKER_11 26:55

The child continues to stare at Sandy.

SPEAKER_06 26:57

What is your name, young child?

SPEAKER_11 26:59

The child smiles, turns around, and runs away.

SPEAKER_09 27:02

I would like to chase the child.

unknown 27:05

Gosh.

SPEAKER_11 27:06

Brianna attempts to run after the child, however, the door slams shut right before she reaches it.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Probably not a good idea to split up right now, is it? I'm gonna try to open this door. Did someone recognize this child?

SPEAKER_11 27:18

Sandy attempts to open the door, however, it has been somehow forcibly closed and will not reopen.

SPEAKER_01 27:24

I'd like to know what I can hear right now, just standing in this room.

SPEAKER_11 27:27

Inside of the kitchen, it seems to be mostly silent. However, you can hear children playing outside. The gusts of wind through the trees. And footsteps.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Are they heavy footsteps or little pitter patters of just children?

SPEAKER_11 27:57

They are slow and mostly quiet.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

I'd like to walk in that direction.

SPEAKER_11 28:01

Chrysler starts walking towards the front of the canteen.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

I would like to encourage Chrysler to grab a weapon.

SPEAKER_01 28:06

I already have a walking stick made of mahogany.

SPEAKER_00 28:10

I said a weapon.

SPEAKER_08 28:11

This is great hardwood.

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Very good choice. Oh, so you can appreciate a good wood. Yes, I like good wood.

SPEAKER_11 28:17

As Chrysler begins to walk away from the rest of the counselors, the footsteps that Chrysler hears seem to be moving faster and further away.

SPEAKER_09 28:26

Chrysler, where are you going?

SPEAKER_01 28:27

I don't want you to leave the group. I think we should stay together. Guys, come with me. There's someone trying to sneak off. And I roll to run.

SPEAKER_00 28:34

Okay, I'm following.

SPEAKER_11 28:37

As Chrysler begins to run, the footsteps seem to vanish. Now there's no sound. The door to the canteen, between the kitchen and the canteen, swings open. And the canteen is empty.

SPEAKER_01 28:49

What did you hear? What was it? It sounded like someone was sneaking around.

SPEAKER_09 28:52

Should we check on the kids? Also, the chef is fat, so it wasn't him tiptoeing around. We know this. He would have left drips of sweat everywhere. I take another puff of my inhaler.

SPEAKER_11 29:06

As the counselors search for who might have been making those footsteps, a man opens the front door to the canteen and walks in. He seems to be wearing some sort of uniform. And he has a bald head.

SPEAKER_06 29:19

I'm stabbing him with my butcher knife. Four dice. And that did not go well.

SPEAKER_11 29:26

Sandy lunges towards the man with a butcher knife, stabbing him in the shoulder.

SPEAKER_01 29:31

Sandy! I like to jump at her as she's like as the knife is penetrating. I know I can't stop her, but try to like grab her to pull her off.

SPEAKER_11 29:39

Chrysler attempts to reach Sandy before the knife plunges further in. However, the man stops Sandy and pulls the knife out.

SPEAKER_09 29:47

Sandy, what are you doing? This is just a man that has walked into the door. Guys, there's so many people dying around here. Like, it's not it's not safe. It seems like you might be the one killing them, considering you just stabbed people to walk in the door. I don't I'm not really sure what the what the what the mindset was. I mean I do kinky stuff, but I don't have I don't kill people. Okay. We can talk about that later, but listen.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

I'd like to ask the bald man who he is.

SPEAKER_11 30:11

That's a great question. You were all so busy stabbing me and talking about kinkiness. No one just stopped to think maybe I should ask who the strange man is. Well, guess what? I'm the groundskeeper. My name is Boothby. Okay, and you just stabbed me in the shoulder. That was my last uniform shirt. What on earth are all of you doing here?

SPEAKER_09 30:30

Boothby, it is very nice to meet you. I'm so glad you're here. We have a very big situation, and I just want to know if you've seen anything. I would like to ask if the groundskeeper has seen any suspicious activity.

SPEAKER_11 30:42

You're the only thing suspicious I have seen so far today.

SPEAKER_01 30:45

Hold on, Boothby is it very fake. You weren't at orientation, sir.

SPEAKER_11 30:51

That's right. As the groundskeeper, my job is to make sure this camp looks beautiful. Always. I'm taking care of the trees, I'm taking care of the water, I'm taking care of the cabins and the blood. Wet blood.

SPEAKER_09 31:03

Vivica, can you look him up on the face look and see if you've heard of this Boothby? Because it just sounds insane. I don't understand who he is. His head very shiny.

SPEAKER_11 31:12

Listen to me, kids. I have been the groundskeeper here for 30 years.

SPEAKER_06 31:16

30? So were you here during the massacre?

SPEAKER_11 31:18

Who told you about that?

SPEAKER_06 31:19

My ex. My ex was the only survivor.

SPEAKER_11 31:23

Well, I wish that were true. There was more than one survivor though, so I doubt your ex was even there.

SPEAKER_06 31:28

So were you the survivor?

SPEAKER_11 31:30

I mean, he's still alive. I've been here working for 30 years. They were out on an overnight with their counselor, and the next day everything gets shut down.

SPEAKER_06 31:38

That sounds like you don't know much for being a groundskeeper. Just saying.

SPEAKER_11 31:42

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 31:42

You're right, Sandy.

SPEAKER_11 31:43

Look, I was polishing the canoes that night, okay? Just polishing the old canoe, and the kids got killed.

SPEAKER_00 31:49

And what were you doing 10 minutes ago when all five of those children were brutally stabbed?

SPEAKER_01 31:53

Were you also polishing the canoe then?

SPEAKER_00 31:55

What kids were stabbed? The kids down by the lake.

SPEAKER_09 31:58

I've heard of uh uh what is this word? Euphemism. Is are you using polishing canoe as euphemism?

SPEAKER_11 32:05

Oh, okay. We only have two canoes out front, and I have to make sure that they look good and that they're gonna continue to run smoothly. I don't like your tone.

SPEAKER_09 32:14

But ten minutes ago, ten minutes ago, tell me where you were, because it seems weird that you're here now, but you weren't here before.

SPEAKER_11 32:20

I was talking to Miss Karen, okay, about all the canoeing that's gonna happen this summer and how many canoes I was gonna have to polish every single day.

SPEAKER_06 32:29

There's only two. You don't have to uh polish that many, actually.

SPEAKER_11 32:32

Look, sometimes you have to polish it for a while. It takes a little bit longer to get the job done.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Sounds like a kink to me.

SPEAKER_11 32:38

Hey Boothby, uh, where is Karen's office? That's an excellent question. Okay, so you want to turn around, you want to leave this building, go to the top of the hill. Okay, you're gonna see a little sign that says caretaker, go in there. I was just over there. It's like literally a hundred yards away.

SPEAKER_06 32:54

Should we go talk to Karen and tell her what's going on?

SPEAKER_11 32:57

Yes, that. The counselors start walking towards Karen's cabin. When they're almost there, they hear a loud scream inside.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

I walk faster without running, or jogging, or doing things that would otherwise irritate my very weak lungs, and I pull open the door really quickly.

SPEAKER_11 33:16

The door open now reveals Karen, a coat hanger, shoved between her ears, or rather, through her ears from one side to the other.

SPEAKER_09 33:25

I would like to quickly check the back door for any other exits.

SPEAKER_11 33:28

This cabin only has one door.

SPEAKER_01 33:30

Did she just kill herself with a coat hanger? Is there are there any windows?

SPEAKER_11 33:33

There are two windows.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Are they closed? Do any windows have jars?

SPEAKER_11 33:37

One is a jar, about two-thirds of the way up. They're both on the front side of the building, the same side as the door.

SPEAKER_01 33:43

So we would have seen someone coming out.

SPEAKER_09 33:45

I would like to check the room for for footprints or anything.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

This is getting very scooby-doo.

SPEAKER_11 33:50

The counselors inspect and they find a single bootprint right beneath the open window. What size is it? It appears to say size 11.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Is that big or small?

SPEAKER_11 34:01

That depends on who you ask. I wear a size 14.

SPEAKER_01 34:03

That's what she said.

SPEAKER_11 34:05

Is it a child's 11? It is a men's size 11 boot. Somehow they were able to discern this by looking at the boot print. I know shoes.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

I put my boot next to that print. It is not the same size.

SPEAKER_07 34:17

I put mine next to it. It is the same size because I have large feet.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Those were the canoes.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

Hey uh, what are are these man's prints?

SPEAKER_09 34:26

But remember, remember we were told there were two survivors. I I don't I don't think. I don't know. I know Chef was a terrible man, but I feel soft towards him. I don't think he was the one.

SPEAKER_06 34:37

Don't fall for his traps. You were falling for him just like I do. Or did. Do you? Dead. I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 34:45

You know, sometimes you just have to let the way the wind blows you go that way.

SPEAKER_00 34:50

Can I investigate the body? And specifically the pockets and or purse of Miss Karen. You can attempt to. I got a five.

SPEAKER_11 34:57

Vivika investigates Karen's dead body, looking through the pockets. Inside she finds one unused condom wrapper. Or condom. I guess it's not a wrapper until it's used.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

I'm gonna tuck that in my bra and keep it pushing.

SPEAKER_09 35:12

Vivica, did you find anything on the body?

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Nope, nothing at all.

SPEAKER_09 35:15

Literally nothing. I mean the woman runs at camp. She doesn't have anything, not the whistle, not the wallet, she doesn't have anything in the pockets.

SPEAKER_00 35:22

Vivica investigates further. I checked the label of her blazer, uh, and it's a knockoff Louis, so I think she's not who she says she was.

SPEAKER_09 35:29

Viveka, we are at camp, okay? We are not on a mailrose, we are not shopping with your friends, okay? So the name of the blazer doesn't matter. What matters is who is killing people. That is what we care about.

SPEAKER_00 35:41

What I mean to tell you is that somebody who would wear a knockoff Louis blazer is not to be trusted.

SPEAKER_09 35:46

Well, we can check yours later, okay?

SPEAKER_11 35:50

Vivica investigates further. Nothing in the shirt pockets, nothing in the pan pockets, nothing in the back pocket, not a single set of keys to be found.

SPEAKER_09 35:59

I think we should look for keys in this place. She must she must have the ability to open all the doors in this camp.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

I'm still out here looking for a phone on the desk.

SPEAKER_09 36:08

You look for foam, I will look for keys.

SPEAKER_11 36:12

Fuck my phone. Chrysler finds a phone, picks it up, and hears a dial tone.

SPEAKER_01 36:17

I called 911. Again? Yeah, this is a hard this is a landline.

SPEAKER_11 36:22

The line cuts out.

SPEAKER_09 36:23

Chrysler, listen, the phone never does anything. The government never does anything. You shouldn't trust them. You don't call them. We need we need to figure this out on our own.

SPEAKER_11 36:33

At that moment, Bootsby barges in to Karen's cabin, screaming. No.

SPEAKER_01 36:39

I go to tackle Boothsby.

SPEAKER_11 36:40

Bootsby falls to the ground. An axe stuck into his back. Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_01 36:46

Um, was it already there? We never checked his back sign. Or did I push him onto an axe?

SPEAKER_11 36:54

There was no axe previously. It appears that Boothby or Boothby was stabbed recently with this axe right in his back.

SPEAKER_09 37:00

I would like to run out of the door towards where he came from.

SPEAKER_11 37:06

Raina takes off in a sprint, leaving the others behind to figure out where Boothby must have come from. She sees a shadowy figure ducking behind a building.

SPEAKER_01 37:15

I attempt to run out to Raina.

SPEAKER_11 37:19

Chrysler reaches Raina.

SPEAKER_09 37:21

Vivika, Sandy, please, please come help us. Help, there's something here. What did you see? Some shape? I I I I don't know, but I just I know we were with him in in the kitchen, and then he came here and he stabbed. We have to figure it out.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Where did you see the shape?

SPEAKER_11 37:36

Raina points at a building. It appears to be a different cabin than the other ones you've been to already. It appears to be Vivika's cabin.

SPEAKER_09 37:44

I saw him at Vivica's place. I don't know what it was. I don't even know if it was a man or woman, but there was a thing there.

SPEAKER_01 37:51

I run towards Vivika's cabin.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

I would like to investigate the pockets of our dead Boothusby.

SPEAKER_06 38:00

Is he dead though? Because I would like to ask him a question. Is he like gurgling?

SPEAKER_11 38:04

Boothby is non-responsive at this point, so time of death would have been called, yes. However, you can go ahead and roll for Vivica to inspect. I just got a six. Vivica inspects. Upon his person is one more condom unused in his shirt pocket.

SPEAKER_00 38:22

I'm gonna tuck that in my bra and keep it pushing.

SPEAKER_08 38:25

Thank God there are no used condoms on these characters.

SPEAKER_00 38:30

Wait, can I check to see if he's wearing a condom?

SPEAKER_11 38:32

You inspect and you find he is not. He's not currently wearing one. However, there is a slight scent of lubrication.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Polishing canoes.

SPEAKER_11 38:41

I'm gonna say to Sandy, Sandy, I think they were fucking. At that moment, while at Vivica's cabin, another cabin he mits a large shrieking sound. Child screaming.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Which direction is it from Vivica's cabin?

SPEAKER_11 38:55

It is two cabins down the hill.

SPEAKER_09 38:58

I would like to ask Sandy to join us.

SPEAKER_11 39:01

Sandy grabs Vivica's arm and they run, once more in a sprint, to rejoin the rest of the counselors. Now, all together, Chrysler leads them towards the cabin where they heard another child screaming, and eventually they reach it. The door ajar. The door is open, but slightly.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

So I'm gonna take my walking stick and just kind of like peel back the door. Good job. Thanks. Appreciate the uh support.

SPEAKER_11 39:27

The door opens. Inside, five more children dead.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

That's ten already, guys. Jesus. Oh my god. We are terrible at our jobs.

SPEAKER_00 39:39

We're gonna get fired.

SPEAKER_06 39:40

I cannot put this on my LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_09 39:42

Sandy, I feel like you've just been flirting with Chrysler the whole time. I don't know if you're even here to help figure out what's going on. It feels like every time we go somewhere, you're just holding hands with Chrysler talking. Oh, we've been holding hands? You've been rubbing each other. I just don't understand.

SPEAKER_11 39:56

While they're chatting, one of the children's heads rolls down at their feet. I'm gonna kick it out of the way with my Lou Batin. Vivica kicks the head to the other side of the room.

SPEAKER_09 40:05

I would like to roll to investigate the bodies and figure out the cause of death.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

I would like to roll to investigate the windows and see if there are any entry and exit points beyond the door. That's where there's a jar at.

SPEAKER_06 40:34

I would like to roll to save Chrysler. Of course you would. You like him.

SPEAKER_11 40:39

Sandy grabs the arm, squeezes the hand. It is gloved. It releases Chrysler, who is now free from the chokehold.

SPEAKER_01 40:47

I'm ba- I'm grabbing Sandy and backing away from the window. I would like to go towards the window and try to grab whatever was out there.

SPEAKER_06 40:53

We need Vivika to run out back. Oh, fuck that.

SPEAKER_11 40:58

Ryanna runs to the door, looking towards that window where the hand just smashed in and nobody is there.

SPEAKER_06 41:05

We're never gonna find this motherfucker. Vivika, can you can you run outside for me?

SPEAKER_09 41:09

Please go see if there's anyone in the woods.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

I'm gonna roll to just open the door and look outside. Oh no, I got a one.

SPEAKER_11 41:16

Vivika opens the door and peers outside and doesn't see anything. However, there is a sound of rustling in the grass outside.

SPEAKER_06 41:24

I would like to chase it. I would like to follow. Don't go out there.

SPEAKER_11 41:28

Raina is swayed and stays inside. However, Sandy goes outdoors, goes around the backside of the cabin and sees a tall figure towering over her.

SPEAKER_01 41:40

I start running towards Sandy saying, Don't go out there.

SPEAKER_06 41:44

And I, from a safe distance from him, take my ninja star. What? And throw it at him.

SPEAKER_11 41:51

Did you bring a ninja star?

SPEAKER_06 41:52

Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_11 41:53

I thought we said no weapons bring in the camp, but I guess it was a it was a decorative ninja star. Go ahead and go ahead and roll to see if it's successful. Sandy throws the ninja star. It lodges into this tall figure's kneecap. Meanwhile, Chrysler runs outside screaming, don't go out there. The large figure towers over them, reaches behind his back, and reveals a machete.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

I'm pulling out my walking stick and going to beat him. Is this the walking dead? God, I'm gonna die. Right here, right now. Didn't realize I made it to her, but here we are. It's gotta happen sometime, my sweet, sweet lady.

SPEAKER_11 42:32

Chrysler reveals the walking stick in a threatening fashion and beats upon the large figure. The large figure swings the machete. He swings at both of the counselors.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

70 shit. We're dad.

SPEAKER_11 42:51

He hits both of the counselors in the arm. You both lost 35 because you split the 70.

SPEAKER_01 42:57

Oh, okay. Um, which arm did I get hit in?

SPEAKER_11 43:00

Your left arm.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

I'm like clutching my arm in pain, walking stick still in my left hand, and I'm like trying to back up Sandy to like get back.

SPEAKER_06 43:10

And I'm screaming for Raina and Vivica to come out here. I would like to look for a weapon before I go.

SPEAKER_11 43:18

Raina looks for a weapon and finds one, a broom. The broom is worth one roll of the dike. Under your function, you can say sweeping and one roll for damage. Vivica is still in the house with Raina.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

I'm gonna step outside, uh, approach the other counselors, and try to escort them safely back with my knife brandished.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

What is what does the figure look like?

SPEAKER_11 43:41

The figure is tall, toweringly tall, shadowy. You can't make out really any details. Clothing is really clad in a way that you can't see a face.

SPEAKER_01 43:50

Rob zombies, Michael Myers, got it.

SPEAKER_11 43:52

Very yes, perfect.

SPEAKER_09 43:54

I once saw this movie. It was called, I think, uh Candyman, and there was big men he said. With Cabe. Big, strong, sexy man. I think this reminds me of that.

SPEAKER_11 44:06

The killer swings the machete once again, this time at Vivica.

SPEAKER_00 44:11

Uh backflip dodge.

SPEAKER_11 44:14

You are correct. You indeed backflip dodged. You were not hit.

SPEAKER_09 44:18

I would like to sharpen the end of my broom and poke the large dark figure.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

Sits whittling in the corner for a few turns.

SPEAKER_11 44:29

Ryan sharpens the edge of her broom.

SPEAKER_01 44:31

I I want to look outside the back of the cabin real quick, like just a quick glance to see if there's any um flammable things.

SPEAKER_11 44:40

Indeed. There are flammable things. There appear to be gas cans a little bit lower, closer to the water.

SPEAKER_01 44:47

I want to start hobbling my way there. Do you want me to provide a distraction? I think shirt, no.

SPEAKER_00 44:54

Take your top off.

SPEAKER_01 44:55

Shirt? No shirt? Shirt or no shirt. I reach into my pocket and I grab my lighter. My zip, my old vintage zippo lighter, and it has an engraving on it. And I would like to uh use my spare toilet paper.

unknown 45:10

What?

SPEAKER_09 45:10

Are we doing a Molotov cocktail? To use as um in uh as uh flammable flammable material. I'd like to use.

SPEAKER_01 45:18

I I hand the lighter to Sandy and I start like going down the hill to go for the gas can with my roll of toilet paper.

SPEAKER_06 45:26

It will make trail. Yes. I like this. I like where this is going.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

I did not realize that's where you're going, but it's cool.

SPEAKER_11 45:33

The killer takes another swing, this time at Sandy. It's successful. And it's worth 50 damage. Sandy's left arm falls to the ground. Oh, that's a gag, bitch.

SPEAKER_09 45:48

I would like to help her.

SPEAKER_01 45:49

Aw, you're so sweet. I am sweet lady. How many turns do I have to wait to get to this fuel? I wish I would have just kept the fucking lighter. Because at this point, what I I thought I was gonna have to like throw the fuel or something.

SPEAKER_06 46:03

No, you can use the stick.

SPEAKER_11 46:05

Raina is not able to bandage the wound. The arm is gone. However, she notices a lighter still gripped in the other hand.

SPEAKER_09 46:13

I would like to throw the lighter from Sandy's hand to Chrysler's hand.

SPEAKER_11 46:18

Oh no. It's a long throw. Let's see if you make it.

SPEAKER_09 46:21

I'm an excellent, an excellent thrower.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Why we got ourselves into this situation, I'm unsure.

SPEAKER_11 46:28

The toss was amazing. Honestly, you should be a football player. It makes it all the way into Chrysler's hand.

SPEAKER_09 46:34

You don't know what I do in my spare time.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

I would like to uh head make my way to the uh the nursing cabin.

SPEAKER_11 46:41

That seems to be a brilliant idea. Let's see if you make it. Vivica runs all the way to the medical cabin and sees inside Anton staring at the band-aids, admiring the organization.

SPEAKER_00 46:54

I'm gonna burst in on Anton. You need to come help us, you flaming queen. Everyone's being killed. Okay, so oh my god, what's happening? People are dying? Yes, Sandy just lost her arm. Can you like glue it back?

SPEAKER_11 47:08

I don't know if glue's gonna work on that, but I do have a lot of band-aids. Let's go. Anton and Vivica arrive, noticing Sandy with her arm lopped off and laying on the ground.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

I grab the fuel and at this point I start going back up the hill because I'm realizing if I explode the fuel, burn toilet paper will do nothing to this guy.

SPEAKER_09 47:27

I would like to leave Sandy because she's in the hands of Vivica and Anton. And I would like to help Chrysler inflame the dark, mysterious figure. This is a game where you have to roll dice.

SPEAKER_11 47:41

It appears you two rejoin and are able to start once again working on that whole flame thing.

SPEAKER_01 47:50

Tossing the fuel at the figure. Where is the figure at this point?

SPEAKER_11 47:55

Apparently standing in the middle of the field waiting to be had. The gas has been tossed. It reaches the figure's body.

SPEAKER_06 48:02

Vivica, please just leave me here.

SPEAKER_11 48:06

Okay, bye. As Sandy speaks those words, the killer takes another swing and completely misses.

SPEAKER_09 48:12

I would like to use my film camera to take another photograph to witness this experience.

SPEAKER_06 48:26

That was my weapon.

SPEAKER_11 48:28

Let's see if you can attempt it. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 48:30

But Sandy, you only have one hand.

SPEAKER_11 48:33

You are successful.

SPEAKER_06 48:36

And then I would like to use my butcher knife on him.

SPEAKER_11 48:39

Well, let's find out. So Sandy reaches around the back of the feet of the large figure and ties them into a knot with a blow-up doll.

SPEAKER_00 48:48

At that moment, she has one arm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 48:52

The figure strikes.

SPEAKER_01 48:55

Ten.

SPEAKER_06 48:56

How the fuck do you have five inch features? I am going to take my last line at this guy. And I am going to use my butcher knife.

SPEAKER_11 49:05

Okay. How many rolls is that worth? Four. Excellent.

SPEAKER_01 49:08

My problem is I'd like to set him ablaze. However, Sandy is now with him.

SPEAKER_11 49:12

Let's see how much damage he did.

SPEAKER_01 49:14

Four, eight, twelve, nineteen.

SPEAKER_11 49:16

Nineteen damage. You stab the figure in his left thigh and feel the squish. That's what goes all the way in.

SPEAKER_06 49:24

There's a stomach artery.

SPEAKER_11 49:25

He stammers backwards, nearly falling down to the ground and runs into the woods.

SPEAKER_01 49:31

I would like to chase him. I'd like to flick my lighter and throw it at him.

SPEAKER_11 49:36

See what happens. So just to recap, you did how much damage there. 19 damage. Okay. Raina chases the figure. However, he appears to have gone, Chrysler flicks the Zippo lighter towards him as he runs away, hitting the trail of gas and lighting Raina on fire. Oh, that's a trip. Dealing 50 damage.

SPEAKER_01 50:00

What is happening here? This Justin, if you're tuning into our episode, welcome to a slasher comedy. Things are getting wild.

SPEAKER_09 50:09

Chrysler, I don't deserve this. Why did you run with him? I wanted to chase him. I need to know what he's going for. What are you gonna do? I have learned to stop drop and roll in this country. There are classes for this. This girl is some fine. And Chrysler, don't you do this again because your aim is terrible. I'm sorry. I'm missing most of my arm. Maybe Vivica could help at some point. You know, she just stands around talking about people's clothes, but it would be nice if she helped us find the who's killing people.

SPEAKER_00 50:41

I'd like to go back to my cabin and look for a flashlight.

SPEAKER_09 50:44

Where the dead children are, is that where you would like to go? Because maybe we should be looking at you.

SPEAKER_11 50:48

Vivica takes the arm of Anton and heads back towards the cabin. They look inside.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

But there's also my stuff. And in my stuff, because it's my cabin, I take out a blonde wig with bangs and then put it on.

SPEAKER_09 51:12

What?

SPEAKER_00 51:14

Same me, just with bangs.

SPEAKER_09 51:15

I'd like to try to pick up my lighter. I'd like to go to the medical facility and heal.

SPEAKER_06 51:21

I would like someone to take me with you.

SPEAKER_01 51:24

I go back to Sandy and try to scoop her over my shoulder. We all go together.

SPEAKER_11 51:30

Indeed, you do. You make it all the way back to the medical cabin where you have plenty of band-aids, and everybody who's taken some damage regains 10 health.

SPEAKER_06 51:39

Back at 15.

SPEAKER_11 51:41

The counselors decide to shut themselves into the medical cabin. It seems safe. It seems like there's things that they can use to heal themselves if they take more damage. They lock the door and they wait for sunset.

SPEAKER_09 51:51

Waiting for sunset does not seem like a good idea. I don't know why we would wait until it's dark. We have lost ten children today.

SPEAKER_01 51:59

Sure, we can't see him, but then that means he can't see us either. We don't even know who him is.

SPEAKER_11 52:05

Oh, ideal.

SPEAKER_01 52:06

What?

SPEAKER_11 52:06

Oh yeah, I've been working here for like ten years. I've heard so many stories. I heard that this person has been killing for at least a good 20 years. Wait, Anton, who is this? Okay, so here's what I've heard. The killer used to be a camper as a child. And apparently somebody spilled the ice cream that he was eating onto the ground and he stabbed him, so they like sent him home. And then apparently he was disowned by his family.

SPEAKER_09 52:32

Can I ask a more pressing question for the moment? Do you know anything about the government and what they might be trying to do, what they might be up to lately?

SPEAKER_11 52:39

Sweetie, no, just leave it there.

SPEAKER_09 52:41

No, I I just you know, just wondering if you have any information, maybe you can call on me. I can leave you my number. I just, you know, sometimes they're up to things that you don't really, you know, even think it might be normal, but for someone who is, you know, a visitor, maybe it's not so normal. Maybe I maybe we could have to talk about it. Well, I maybe. I I'm not looking for anything particular, I just want to get to know people.

SPEAKER_00 53:05

I would like to uh look around the medical space for a flashlight again, uh, while passively aggressively commenting on how nobody has mentioned my bangs.

SPEAKER_06 53:13

Anton, do you know how long ago this was?

SPEAKER_00 53:16

Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_11 53:17

I don't even know. Probably a good like 10-15 years ago. So this person, I don't know, they'd have to be like in their 30s or something at this point, I'm assuming. I don't know.

SPEAKER_09 53:23

Do you know the name of this camper that once was insulted by ice cream?

SPEAKER_11 53:29

I mean, I've heard so many stories, but the one that I've heard that I think is the truest is Benji Hargrove.

SPEAKER_09 53:35

And what happened to Benji?

SPEAKER_11 53:36

Uh you know, I heard he was disowned by his family, and then like apparently he's killing people now. That's what I've heard.

SPEAKER_09 53:41

Have you ever seen him before?

SPEAKER_11 53:43

No, I wasn't here then.

SPEAKER_09 53:44

And has anything happened any other years? Any other suspicious disappearances?

SPEAKER_11 53:49

No, but I mean, like, the whole killing a couple years ago, I heard that was him.

SPEAKER_09 53:52

A couple years ago when?

SPEAKER_11 53:54

Like five, six years ago.

SPEAKER_06 53:55

Who did you hear all of this from?

SPEAKER_11 53:56

You know, around the camp, kids talk and they talk to me sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 54:00

What's your favorite flavor of ice cream?

SPEAKER_11 54:03

I don't know, personally, Rocky Red.

SPEAKER_01 54:04

Vivica, do you have bangs now?

SPEAKER_00 54:06

Yes, thank you for noticing. Also, I rolled a three. Did I find a flashlight? Suddenly, a flashlight rolls across the floor.

SPEAKER_11 54:12

Oh, thank god. And Vivica picks it up.

SPEAKER_09 54:15

Vivica, I don't think you'll need this flashlight. It is lights outside still.

SPEAKER_00 54:19

No, it's dark. We waited until sunset.

SPEAKER_09 54:22

Yes, I know, but the light from the moon, it's so bright. But your bangs, they look great.

SPEAKER_11 54:27

Well, thank you. The counselors now hear a pounding at the door.

SPEAKER_01 54:31

Hello.

SPEAKER_06 54:33

Chrysler, go answer it.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

I look at my arm.

SPEAKER_06 54:36

Still mostly hurt. Well, I can't even move. I'm barely alive right now.

SPEAKER_00 54:41

It's fine. I have the most health. I can do it. Uh, I take out my knife in one hand, the flashlight in another, shimmy opened the door with the heel of my Loubaton.

SPEAKER_09 54:50

I would like to push Vivica out the door. Because I'm tired of her baloney, and it seems like she's just wandering around aimlessly.

SPEAKER_00 55:00

I am the only one getting things done and not tired.

SPEAKER_11 55:04

Cruel intentions aside, Vivica opens the door. Outside the door, we see a large, sweaty man crying.

SPEAKER_00 55:13

I'm gonna back away from the door immediately.

SPEAKER_03 55:16

What were what are you all doing in here? You know there's people dead out here. I was locked in the freezer. I don't know how even I got in there, and then I don't know. I kind of crawled out, I guess. Uh um I went back to my cabin and slept it off a little bit.

SPEAKER_09 55:30

Vivica, you can stab this man. You know who he is. He's disgusting. I know he's not what is responsible for what's happening tonight, but I don't want him here.

SPEAKER_00 55:37

Rolling to slit his throat with my knife.

SPEAKER_11 55:40

Let's see how much damage is done.

SPEAKER_00 55:41

Oh fuck, I killed him.

SPEAKER_11 55:42

Vivica slices at the throat of the chef. Piercing one side, but not causing any serious damage. He's still alive.

SPEAKER_06 55:50

Frank, what are you doing here?

SPEAKER_03 55:52

Look, I just I talked to your parents, and they told me you're coming down here this summer. I just thought I'd be here, and then I ran into these two, and I don't know, maybe I got a little carried away.

SPEAKER_06 56:02

A little? You tried freaking attacking her.

SPEAKER_03 56:06

I mean, I look, that's what you were into. I assumed everyone was.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

I'd like to roll to attempt to take the knife away from Sandy. Four.

SPEAKER_11 56:15

The knife has been taken away from Sandy.

SPEAKER_01 56:17

I am going to take the knife, not like normal style, but like flip the handle so that the blade is coming out from my forearm kind of area. And then I am going to just kind of like go straight for the fucking Adam's apple. If you can even see one on this guy, and just like the intense. Uh, Chrysler is not okay with sexual assault. Five.

SPEAKER_11 56:40

It was a hit, but how damaging was it?

SPEAKER_01 56:44

Is there any other information you need while I'm doing this? No, he's trash.

SPEAKER_11 56:49

We've got 16 total. You stabbed him in where on his body?

SPEAKER_01 56:52

Uh, straight through the Adam's apple.

SPEAKER_11 56:54

Excellent. The stab was successful. The chef has taken a stab to the Adam's apple and is now gurgling blood out of his mouth, apparently somehow still alive, but on the ground, spitting blood.

SPEAKER_09 57:08

I would like to ask him if he knows anything about the dying children.

SPEAKER_11 57:11

At this point, he's unable to answer, as the only thing he can do is gurgle and spit blood.

SPEAKER_01 57:16

Blink once if you know something.

SPEAKER_11 57:17

The chef blinks twice. Oh my gosh, why did you do that?

SPEAKER_01 57:20

He attacked our friend's room.

SPEAKER_11 57:22

The gurgles grow louder, and the chef yells out Bungie dead.

SPEAKER_00 57:27

That's it. I knew this was a ghost thing. Bungie dead.

SPEAKER_09 57:31

I would like to smack the chef in the face. Get him to come to come to life a little bit. I'd like to kick him in the face.

SPEAKER_11 57:40

He has been successfully kicked in the face and is now unconscious, gurgling blood out of his mouth.

SPEAKER_09 57:45

Chrysler! Chrysler. Why would you kick him? He has answers for us. What else do you think he can give us?

SPEAKER_01 57:51

He attacked you earlier. But what else do you think we should do? He attacked you earlier.

SPEAKER_09 57:56

Yes, and this guy is dead. Listen, I appreciate you, but right now we have to deal with ten dead children. I can defend myself, trust me. Don't have to worry about what we will do with me.

SPEAKER_00 58:04

Who cares about the ten dead children? There is a ghost killer killing us.

SPEAKER_09 58:09

Vivika, that is what we care about. These ten dead children, it didn't come from nobody. It came from somebody. We had to figure out who it came from, okay? You're not helping anything.

SPEAKER_00 58:19

It came from Benji. Benji is dead. How do we fight a ghost?

SPEAKER_09 58:22

Okay, so where is Benji? Since you have all the answers for everything.

SPEAKER_00 58:26

I don't know where he is.

SPEAKER_01 58:27

I just want to point out, Vivica, that Sandy stabbed him earlier. And you can't stab a ghost.

SPEAKER_00 58:33

Ugh, that's true.

SPEAKER_09 58:34

And then the chef says that he is dead. Says that Benji is dead, so maybe the chef knows. Maybe we should hunt his body. Maybe we should follow the blood trail.

SPEAKER_00 58:43

Maybe we should split up.

SPEAKER_07 58:44

Sounds great.

SPEAKER_00 58:45

I'm gonna roll to convince everyone to split up.

SPEAKER_11 58:47

The counselors decide to split up into two groups only.

SPEAKER_07 58:51

I would like to follow the blood trail from when Sandy stabbed him. I will join Reina.

SPEAKER_00 58:58

Oh come on, I don't want to be with Sandy. You don't want to be with Sandy? She's on her last leg. Leave her here. Okay, I'll stay with Sandy.

SPEAKER_06 59:04

I literally can barely walk right now, guys. I'll stay with Sandy, Sandy to protect her.

SPEAKER_00 59:09

Let's go, Reina.

SPEAKER_09 59:10

Sandy, I think we should stay here because I I just don't feel comfortable going. And maybe Vivika and Chrysler can figure something out, and then we'll help your hand.

SPEAKER_11 59:19

At that moment, while discussing what they should do, an axe flies from the distance through the dark and lands on the neck of the chef, severing his gargling head.

SPEAKER_01 59:31

Frank! Where was that exclamation of concern when I stabbed him?

SPEAKER_00 59:36

Right?

SPEAKER_09 59:37

Sandy is lady of complex feelings. You don't question her. Also, where did the axe come from?

SPEAKER_06 59:42

The back of the body.

SPEAKER_09 59:43

Vivica, why don't you chase where the axe came from?

SPEAKER_00 59:46

I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna run towards the direction the axe came in.

SPEAKER_11 59:50

Vivika attempts to run after whatever or whoever might have thrown that axe. At that point, a large machete once again flies through the air and hits Vivica. Oh dealing 60 damage.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:05

Vivica!

SPEAKER_01 1:00:07

Ah, my tit. Crystal shouts from the window. You have health insurance, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:15

No, I'm secretly poor. That's his fake tithy, right? I lied about being rich, so you guys would hate me.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:20

Guys, let's set up a trap. I'll moan and you guys are standing on the outside.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:25

Why do you want to moan? Sandy, this is not a bad idea because I feel that any man or whoever, whatever it is, stalking kids camp named Happy Dreams. He's probably looking for Happy Dream. So maybe we maybe we leave you in uh pits with a with traps all around. And and when someone comes, it pulls them up into the tree in a in a net. Here's the only concern. Um, this he throws things very well. Yes, but Chrysler, he won't know he will only see sexy Sandy. He won't expect it.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:58

I don't know that sexy's looking Sandy's looking her best right now.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

We uh we also are very long into this slasher movie with no tits.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:06

My tits came out when the machete slashed my blouse open.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:09

You have listened to this podcast before, do you know what I'm here for?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:12

I'm gonna keep running towards wherever that machete came from with my knife out. Titty's out screaming into the night.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:19

I would like to find a weapon.

SPEAKER_11 1:01:20

Okay. You have successfully found a weapon, a large syringe worth three rolls.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:26

I wonder if Vivica's bangs still look good.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:28

They do. There's just a little blood splattered in them.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:31

I'd like to look for a uh source of fuel inside the cabin we're in. What is it with you in the gas? I have a lighter.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:41

So I'm in the woods with my flashlight, looking around for the fucker who chopped me in the tit.

SPEAKER_11 1:01:48

While you don't see the killer, Vivica finds another figure. An eighteen or nineteen-year-old man, seemingly in decent physical condition, looking a little bit confused as to what's going on.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:00

Uh excuse me, who the fuck are you?

SPEAKER_11 1:02:02

Excuse me, I'm Stewie. Stewie? Are you a camper here? No, not anymore. I used to be. But that was like five, six years ago or something like that. Now I'm I'm just I was coming back, you know, and I'd look, I just had some memories of the place and I wanted to check it out, and I just made it here. I had to walk on foot, and I just kinda wanted to see how things were going. What's happening? That you're running off into the wilderness um with a large weapon lodged inside of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:30

I'm gonna pull the weapon out of my body uh and say, Were you a camper here during the massacre? Yeah, I was, and I made it I m I made it out.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:42

Did you know Benji? Benji? Are you kidding me? That was all a bunch of crap. That was a rumor they used to tell us, and they told the kids that before us, and the kids that before us, or whatever. That person was never real. Do you know who really killed all my friends? You really want to know?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:56

No, but I'd like to because they're killing mine.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:59

I can guarantee you they're not. They're dead. They were caught by the cops literally two days later. It was our own caretaker. The person who used to own this place killed all those kids and just thought they could walk away with it. Shot dead by the cops. Yeah, it doesn't seem like they walked away.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:16

Okay, well, there's ten kids dead right now, and we've been all attacked. So who is killing us now? Do you have any idea what's going on?

SPEAKER_11 1:03:24

I I don't know who would want to do that, but I'm not sticking around this time. I'm out of here. Wait, what was his name? His name? The guy who who killed all my friends?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:33

Yes. His name was Kyle. Okay, do you want to come back to the cabin? No. I have some friends there, and we're all hiding out.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:40

Look, here's what I can tell you. Okay, good luck. I'm not dealing with this again. At that point, our new friend runs away.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:46

Wait, I have condoms. Okay, I'm going back to the cabin.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:51

Chrysler. Please, please help us. You seem so level-headed and Sandy has heard arm in it. There's something I haven't told you.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:59

That massacre a few years ago. My brother, Ricky, was here. He was one of the survivors.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:04

Your brother? And have you talked to him?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:08

A year after it all happened. I don't think he knew this.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:11

Yes, but let me tell you, we all don't think we will do things or our family will do things until they're done, and then it is no big deal. So let me ask you. Does he does he talk about this place often? Is there is there issues inside of him because of this? He used to.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:28

I mean, his best friends died.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:30

At this point, I'm bursting back into the cabin and bringing everyone up to speed on what I found out about my encounter with Stewie.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:37

Stewie? What is your brother's name? Ricky. Does he sometimes go by Benji?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:43

No, it's really just Ricky. Last name Ricardo.

SPEAKER_11 1:04:46

Wait, I'm sorry, what name did you say?

SPEAKER_01 1:04:48

Ricky? Ricardo?

SPEAKER_11 1:04:49

Ricky. Oh my god, I did hear about that one. Ricky Ricky, yeah. Okay, so there was the two little boys that made it out a couple years back, and I didn't really pay attention that time. I was really busy organizing my band-aids. But uh, I mean, I don't want to like be, you know, not sensitive or whatever, but didn't he like end up like a mental hospital or something?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:08

I don't know. I lost track of him. That's why I came here. You lost track of your brother?

SPEAKER_09 1:05:12

He left us.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:13

Well, it sounds like he found us.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:14

Vivika, you may be onto something. It seems very strange what's going on with Christ. It seems like every time we walk somewhere we find something, like you know where we're gonna go and what we're gonna do next.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:24

We've all found the same things at the same time. That's not true. I left with Vivika at different times. Things have happened. I just came to find my brother.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:32

So you lied earlier when you said that you were just here because you had to be.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:36

I d I do have to be.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:38

What you were on parole or something?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:40

But why do you think your brother would be here? Because he hasn't been the same since here. Where do you think we could find him?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:46

I'd like to roll to investigate the inhaler that our boy Chrysler has been walking around with to test its legitimacy. Go ahead and roll. It's a five.

SPEAKER_11 1:05:55

You find some really great AL butyroll.

unknown 1:05:59

Hey.

SPEAKER_09 1:06:00

Dick Chrysler, tell me, listen, Vivika, she's suspicious, but I need to know where do you think your brother would be? What is it that that that drew him here?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:10

He was really into Oh my god, I'm such an idiot. Oh, he was really into the archery range. In the axe throwing range. It's his brother.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

Chrysler, let's all go investigate the archery and axe throwing range.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:24

The counselors head out to try to find the archery and axe throwing range. Remember it's dark. Thank goodness there's a flashlight. Before they can make it very far, they smell something strange. Something like dinner or maybe somebody with a fire. And they turn to look at the other cabins. And notice the cabin with the other ten children in it is aflame.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:48

Let's keep walking.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

Well, all in favor of uh keeping it moving.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:51

Nothing else we can do here at this point.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:58

The group makes it to the archery and axle ring range. They look around. They see nothing. Unfortunately. The targets are there. But there's nothing to throw. No bows, no arrows.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:08

I'd like to approach the targets and investigate them sensually and slowly.

SPEAKER_11 1:07:12

Let's see what you find.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:14

Vivica, why are you stroking them?

SPEAKER_11 1:07:17

It's a six. You are successfully now investigating the targets. As you look, you notice there seem to be maybe some old holes from arrows that might have reached those targets. Who are you calling an old hole? But there's really nothing else. There's nothing else going on. There's not even arrows left in the targets. There's no axes there. It's all been removed. Well, this is certainly suspicious, but I've seen worse today.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:40

I would like to look for fingerprints.

SPEAKER_11 1:07:42

Ryina bends down to look for fingerprints. At that moment, an arrow flies through the air and nearly misses her.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:50

I I turn around and yell, Ricky!

SPEAKER_11 1:07:52

No response is heard.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:53

I chase the direction of the arrow.

SPEAKER_11 1:07:54

Chrysler chases the direction of the arrow. I'm going to. Vivica chases the direction of the arrow.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:00

I'm going to.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:01

Another arrow whizzes and hits Raina. This time from a different direction, dealing no damage. It's only in her foot.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:10

Large feet equals lots of protection.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:13

This time, more arrows. But from another direction. Dealing 80 damage to Sandy. The arrow pierces her eyeball. The eyeball spurts out. Blood leaks from her ears and she falls to the ground.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:26

Sandy! Oh, Sandy!

SPEAKER_00 1:08:30

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:31

But you haven't had sex with anyone.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:32

I'm gonna take Sandy's knife and give it to Chrysler.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:35

She only has one eye. I'm gonna take the arrow out, pocket it, but then I'm also gonna like gently close her eyelids. Except for it's only one eyelid. Maybe you guys had some more attention. She is Lady I love.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:50

Ryanna kisses the forehead of Sandy. At that moment, an arrow whizzes by, landing in the grass nearby.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:58

Uh, I'm gonna go in pursuit of the direction of the arrow. I will follow.

SPEAKER_11 1:09:02

All three head off in the pursuit of the arrow. Where did it come from? Who had the bow in it? At that moment, another arrow. This time, from behind them, landing directly into Ryan's foot, dealing 80 damage. Her foot falls off.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:19

That was like an Achilles hit. These speeds sometimes take no damage, sometimes take lots of damage.

SPEAKER_11 1:09:25

She falls down, her foot separated, blood spurting out everywhere, filling the ground with its red gooeiness.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:32

Save me.

SPEAKER_11 1:09:34

Is she dead?

SPEAKER_09 1:09:34

I was at 70. Mine's 80. I'm negative 10.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:40

Chrysler, we have to leave them behind.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:42

I'm gonna grab the syringe from Reina, and I'm going to advise to Vivica that we split up because we have arrows coming from multiple directions.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:52

Okay, yeah, that's let's do that.

SPEAKER_11 1:09:54

The two of you split up and head off in different directions looking for whoever might be trying to kill you. Only one of you has a flashlight, by the way. However, the other one has a lighter.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:05

So I'm like flicking the lighter, uh, just trying to trying to run and also trying to like cup it with my hand so the wind doesn't blow it out. It's not very helpful.

SPEAKER_11 1:10:15

But it stays on enough to where you can kind of see in front of you, and you see a figure standing, not approaching, not running away, standing still, staring at you. It's a man.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:25

Ricky?

SPEAKER_11 1:10:26

No, it's it's me, Stewie. I just ran into one of you over here as well. I was gonna leave, but I heard some noises and I decided to st wait, how do you know Ricky?

SPEAKER_01 1:10:36

Ricky's my brother.

SPEAKER_11 1:10:37

Oh my god, you have to get out of here immediately.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:40

Why?

SPEAKER_11 1:10:40

Look, he wanted to come back. And I wanted to go with him, but when I found out what he was planning, I I couldn't st I just couldn't do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:49

I wanna look closely at him to see if he has any bow, arrows, or other weapons.

SPEAKER_11 1:10:54

You investigate, you find a bow and an arrow hidden on the ground standing that he's standing in front of.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:01

I kinda clenched the knife that's in my hand. Why is he back?

SPEAKER_11 1:11:05

He thinks he's stronger for what he went through, for what we went through, and he wants you to be stronger too. He wants to make you go through the same thing he went through.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:16

How how close are we?

SPEAKER_11 1:11:18

You are approximately six feet away.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:20

So I'm just gonna kinda like put my hand up to my head, pretend to be really feeling it, and I'm just like, man, I don't I don't know, I don't know where to go. I I just I haven't heard from him in years.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:30

I uh you just need to get out of here. Are are all of your other friends alive? Only one. Only one? Out of the four of you?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:37

How did you know there were four of us?

SPEAKER_11 1:11:39

From a distance, I I sp look, I told you I suppose.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:41

I'm gonna roll to attack Stewie. Six, six, five, four.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:48

Ackermath, what's that uh twenty one? The knife lands in his shoulder and he falls to the ground, gripping. He is in pain, but not dead.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:56

I'm gonna take the syringe out of my pocket now, go Michael Myers' side, and try to inject it into his bloodstream.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:05

The syringe lands, dealing some damage, but he's still alive, gripping his wounded shoulder, reaching for the arrows and the bow behind him.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:14

I'm going to take the knife and keep trying to stab him over and over again.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:19

It's successful. You have stabbed him.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:22

Uh, this time I am going for his chest repeatedly. 5, 4, 4, 6. Is that 20? No, that's 20.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:30

19.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:30

Thank God you're here, Baris. I can't man.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:33

So we dealt 21 first time, 19 damage the second time. You stab repeatedly. The life moves from his eyes. He groans, you're next. Ugh. He is dead.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:44

Okay, I'm gonna take the uh knife out, sheath it in my pocket, because I don't have a sheath. I'm gonna grab the bow and arrows, and I'm gonna run towards the direction that Vivica's in.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:54

You do run. However, Vivica is alone and in the darkness, with only a flashlight and maybe a couple knives or something to defend herself. She points to flashlight. You see a tall man standing alone. No discernible facial features, you know, maybe a hoodie or something covering the face.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:12

Chrysler, is that you? Yes. We need to get the fuck out of here. Go. Let's go. I take the figure's hand and run towards the lake, frolicking.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:27

The figure walks alongside you, frolicking.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:30

It's oddly moved.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:32

Your walking is jovial. The figure shows no emotion, no face can be seen. When you make it to the lake, the figure reaches down and grabs the oar of a canoe and swings it at your head, but misses.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:45

Meanwhile, my perky tits are still out. I'm going to roll to uh slash the Achilles.

SPEAKER_11 1:13:51

You miss. The killer swings again. And misses once more.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:58

I'm uh gonna go for the Achilles again. Cause I'm like low to the ground ducking all these ore hits. Ooh, it's a five. Aha, excellent.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:06

Let's see how much damage has been done. So the killer's Achilles appears to have been damaged, and the killer falls to the ground. At this point, the killer reaches into his pocket and whips out the longest knife you've ever seen fit into a pocket.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:21

Oh no.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:22

The knife slashes at your throat. No. Dealing 70 damage.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:28

That's it, I'm dead.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:29

Your head comes clean off and falls to the ground. Eyes open, mouth agape.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:34

What is he gonna do with that hole? It almost seems like this is the way things were meant to be, Chrysler. I don't know about that. I had some shitty rolls.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:42

You are listening for Vivica, and you have landed at the canoes at the border of the lake.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:48

I would like to attempt to come back to life.

SPEAKER_11 1:14:50

Your attempt was unsuccessful.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:52

I would like to draw a bow, draw an arrow, and try to aim at the figure that I see near Vivica's decapitated head, trying to pick it up, trying to do something weird. Don't want her uh body desecrated in such a weird way, so. Six.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:09

Was successful. The killer already limping has received another blow. This time an arrow directly to the other Achilles and now lays on the ground.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:21

I'm going to walk slowly, still, pull out the bow and arrow again, and still try to land a headshot.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:31

You were unsuccessful. The killer dodges the shot.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:35

And instead misses with his own shot of a knife from his pocket. This is spiraling so fast. Alright.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:42

Off in the distance, you hear screaming. No, stop. Don't do it. Don't kill him. What? Don't kill him. Please. I am so tired of all this blood, and I cannot deal with the idea that I'm gonna have to put you all back together again afterwards.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:56

Try, I don't know how many arrows I have. Assuming I have at least one more, I'm gonna try again to hit the killer.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:01

It was successful. The arrow lands. The killer is barely holding on to life.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:08

I walk towards him.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:11

He leans up. Be better. The killer slinks into the water, grabbing a canoe on his way out. You don't see him move. He appears to have gone underneath.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:21

I follow him.

SPEAKER_11 1:16:22

You do indeed follow him, but he seems to have disappeared somewhere into the water.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:27

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_09 1:16:28

But was it your brother?

SPEAKER_11 1:16:29

Damn, I was gonna try to hold his head onto the water, but to summarize, only two people survived. One of them was an NPC who ran off into the distance, and the other one was Chris's character. Chrysler. Was it Chrysler's brother? Was it somebody else? Was there really someone named Benji? It seems like it was confirmed that perhaps it was Chrysler's brother. But the person who confirmed it was also trying to kill people. So confusing.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:57

Turns out Alexis is truly the first girl to die.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:02

Typical, typical.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:04

And there's definitely room for a sequel.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:06

Yeah, and Paris definitely did show nip. While Ryan wasn't the surprising sharpshooter, she was the surprising bullet dodger.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:17

Very good.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:18

Very good.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:19

Dodging arrows specifically.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:20

You also apparently died from getting hit in the foot, so I have large feet.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:25

There are arteries. They're unmissable.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:29

So what are your thoughts after our story has ended tonight?

SPEAKER_09 1:17:32

I think it's Ricky. I feel strongly that it's Chrysler's brother. Chrysler seems shady. He seems like he came here for a reason.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:40

Yes. If you said it's a trope, then it's it's probably someone coming back for their like brother.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:45

I have no idea. I still think maybe ghosts.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:48

You got killed by a ghost.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:49

Well, it certainly didn't get killed for a good reason.

SPEAKER_11 1:17:51

Well, I think you guys have played a solid game. It's taken us a couple hours. It's already after midnight. I I think we're also set up for a sequel in this case, which I know I usually hate. But the killer is barely alive with 19 health.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:05

Well, we do have a wacky horror comedy on our hands here with people uh doing weird Russian exorcism circles. Pantless.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:17

We don't ask questions.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:19

Uh sweaty chefs who stalk their ex-girlfriends as counselors. Drippy, drippy sweat. And we have a kid. We have a kid. Well, there you have it, folks. Uh, we may hack movies and slash movies, and I think we came up with one hell of a hacking story today. Maybe we'll try again in the future. Maybe we'll try a sequel. Maybe we'll try a supernatural, super spooky ghost story. But thank you so much for celebrating our third birthday with us. It's been a wild ride so far. Getting better all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:50

Happy birthday to us.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:51

Keep in mind we also still want to hear from you. While this is definitely an interesting style of episode for us, we do usually have movie reviews every week for you as we especially celebrate this Halloween. Keep in mind there's so many ways you can reach out to us, starting with our website, hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:08

And on our Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:10

And if you have been to Summer Camp and had a creepy counselor with maybe a weird accent or a strange fetish, hit us up at our Hackerslash Hotline. Our number is 757-606-0128.

SPEAKER_11 1:19:22

And if you can identify all the silly tropes that we, you know, used in tonight's episode, feel free to send us an email to feedback at hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:30

And if you've enjoyed listening to our podcast at any point over the past three years, consider becoming one of our patrons. You can check out patreon.com slash hacker slash and earn cool perks for as low as one dollar a month.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:41

We'll see you next time.