SPEAKER_01 0:06

I agree with the vagina mouth for sure.

SPEAKER_00 0:13

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to the spooky season with Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Let's give him a little slow clap from motivation. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. A total joke, waste of time, or a slash.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

We believe that horror is for everyone, and as such, we're ranging these movies with a perspective we've each gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Sorry, but I'd rather save you than die with him.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

The gore lover Alexis, Hey Rewind, and the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

Everybody likes me.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

This week we're continuing our Halloween vibes by checking out a holiday slasher streaming on Hulu. Before we get down to business, though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_04 1:04

Let's get to it. We recently reviewed both iterations of Evil Dead, 1981 vs 2013, and we put them head to head. Now, you can go back and listen to the episode, but one of those movies I think did a little bit better than the other. But we wanted to hear what our fans thought. And this may just be a surprise to me, but one-third, 33%, actually preferred the 1981, and the majority, 67%, preferred the 2013 version.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

I'm also surprised by this. I know of one person in particular in life who isn't really a fan of the original, kinda likes it, but really prefers the remake or the reboot from 2013, and I expected everyone else to be on the side of the original.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

Me too.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

It's very rare when like a remake is the preferred version. I am so surprised and disappointed by this because I have such a long attachment to Evil Dead. Not the honestly, not the original movie though, but the sequels. So maybe that's where I'm failing, is maybe most people just don't really care about the original. The attachments all to probably Army of Darkness, to be honest.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Let the records show that I did recently offer to buy Mac some Army of Darkness coffee from Bones Coffee Company, and he politely declined. So how much could he really love it?

SPEAKER_03 2:18

It was a beautiful offer, but I don't do this for the coffee, you know? I do this for I do this for the fans. I do this for the listeners, I do this for the patrons, but most of all I do it because I need something to do with my life. And also, what would that even taste like?

SPEAKER_01 2:31

Dark chocolate, apparently. Interesting. Max seems like, you know, he's married now. He has no room for things that he might not use. Like no room for whimsy.

SPEAKER_03 2:43

Notoriously, I hate fun, so that's probably where it comes from.

SPEAKER_04 2:46

I find that hard to believe. Anyway, we have some comments from our listeners. One of our patrons, Daniel, said, Both are a slash. Remake though, quite better than the first. Can we please talk about the part when Mia licked a box cutter? That made me cringe. And I absolutely agree, Daniel, that made me cringe as well. That was so like visceral, you know?

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Yeah, we did in fact talk about it. And it was uh it was a moment, even contrasting to Jennifer's body.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

We have another comment from one of our patrons, Britney, who said, Two slashes right here. The OG actually scared me a bit, which is surprising for a 1981 film, but it may have been because I was waiting for it to be campy and funny. I was shocked it didn't have its trademark one-liners in the first film. I never knew much about the Evil Dead franchise, but I knew it was supposed to have some humor. It definitely creeped me out without any comedic relief. The 2013 version, wow, I think I just screamed fuck at my TV the entire time. It was rough, but incredible. Beautiful visuals, the saturation of red is beautiful, and breathtaking in contrast to the violence and gore happening in those final scenes. Just awesome. I have to admit, I was even afraid when Scary Movie spoofed the Evil Dead years ago. I was terrified from a comedy movie. How embarrassing. Luckily, I've grown since then.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

I would adore watching a movie alongside Britney if all she does is scream fuck at her TV the entire time.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Sounds a lot like what Ryan would say.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Maybe that's what it is. I want to see Britney and Ryan watch a movie together and hear the commentary that comes out of those two.

SPEAKER_04 4:07

Yeah, that was definitely one of those movies where half the time you're like, oh fuck. And we have one last piece of business to attend to in our follow-up. Each week in October, myself, Ryan, and Mac are going head to head with our horror movie picks, and you, our lovely listeners, get to vote on which movie you want to hear us review. On our social media pages, you'll be able to vote for the winner of round two of our co-host clash, and keep checking out our social media throughout the month to continue to see who wins. And that's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

This week's film brings us back to a few familiar faces, you know, some faces we've seen on our show before. The legendary Tom Atkins, who many of us have some feelings about, and Scream 2 co-stars Omar Epps and Jamie Kennedy. This film features a 100-minute runtime in which a mass murderer terrorizes small towns, and a detective remains relentless in his pursuit to stop his reign of violence. This week we're talking about the 2019 film Trick. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_03 4:58

This was a first for me. I hadn't even heard of it until we had to watch it.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Yeah, until Chris and I were doing the lineup and she mentioned it and came across it, and then I watched the trailer, never heard of it. So surprising. It's a very star-studded cast, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_04 5:15

Definitely surprisingly so, Alexis. I also had no idea that this movie existed until this week, and I actually have been super busy lately with like moving and relocating for work, that I had no time to even look into this movie whatsoever. So I went in so blank. I had no expectations whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yeah, I hadn't heard of this movie apart from seeing it listed on Hulu, and the poster looks cool, right? It actually mentions being from the director of the My Bloody Valentine remake and the same writer as well. So I walked into this not expecting greatness, but expecting a standard fair slasher. Now, particularly considering the amount of known talent in this movie. I wouldn't say it's so much star-studded, but definitely star-sprinkled.

SPEAKER_04 5:57

Dusted.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

And when you scroll through the production credits, there are a lot of folks who worked on this film who have worked on so many incredible films. It's not like you have a whole bunch of rookies on this, which I think is an interesting thing to keep in mind as you continue this episode.

SPEAKER_03 6:14

I cheated, I have to be honest. I watched the trailer before watching it. Even though I didn't I knew nothing about it, I should have just hit play, but I was like, let me hit the trailer because there's a button for it right there, and I'm on Hulu or whatever. And I did it. And I have to say that like it set some expectations that were confusing in just because the verbiage it used, it made it seem like this movie was like the origin story for some killer that we should know already somehow. And that part really confused me for a second because I saw a pumpkin mask and I was like, wait, is this a background for trick-or-treat or something? It doesn't really make a lot of sense. But after I Googled the fact that it was like a standalone movie, it did make more sense that they're just showing, hey, we're gonna have a killer who's gonna be memorable.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

Okay. So I need to remember to follow up on this when you give your rating back because I feel like the trailer also sets a very high high precedence for what you might expect in terms of even just like misdirecting you from the type of story that you get.

SPEAKER_03 7:06

Absolutely agreed.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

I expected this with the cast that it had to be a little bit over the top, and expected when you have all those people running this show that it might be good, but then it also might be just what their side project is. So I thought it was gonna be honestly pretty bad.

SPEAKER_04 7:24

Like I said, I had almost no information going into this. So when I was watching the opening credits and I saw Jamie Kennedy and I saw Omar Epps, I was like, oh, these are names I actually know. Is this not just some random bullshit movie? So I was kind of surprised by that.

SPEAKER_00 7:37

Yeah, I think surprise is a really good way to put that, and it's one of actually a range of emotions I felt when sitting down for this uh experience. In some moments I was charmed, in others I was frustrated beyond belief. And I also did manage to laugh uh at some points with it, but at most points at it. And there were some kills that I really, really enjoyed. So I mean I thought there were at least some ideas in this that may have had a potential if done differently.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

Oh man, when watching this, the only thing I could think of is why did you rush the story? Why is it such a short movie? Why was this not a ten-part limited Hulu series where you could actually go into some characters and make me care about them and like they even chop it up in a way in the movie to where it would have easily translated to multiple episodes, potentially even seasons if they truly wanted to be evil, but I I think this was just so rushed, it just feels like a lot going on really fast and kind of underdeveloped.

SPEAKER_04 8:36

That's so true, Mac, and that's a really good pitch. I wish you had been there when this was happening because I think that would have been really successful for this movie. I felt like the pacing was kind of all over the place, and it left me a little uninvested in things and kind of confused, and at one point I was like checking out. But I overall, in the very beginning, I was just like, could this all have been avoided if one dude had just said no homo?

SPEAKER_00 9:01

Yeah, this movie is somehow swelling with this undercurrent of homophobia, but then also not at the same time. It's a really weird mix.

SPEAKER_04 9:11

Yeah, and it felt like it was unnecessary. Nobody asked for any of that. Nobody did, could have done entirely without it, wasn't even that relevant.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

Just respin, honestly. So I'm excited to talk, obviously, about some things in the second half, including the amount of deaths that are in this movie. But while watching this, and I think it was because I also take notes, so I had to stop this movie quite often. So I wonder if I'd have a different reaction had I watched this movie completely. But I was very confused, like you guys have mentioned, and wasn't sure what was going on. Yes, I feel like they rushed it a little bit. But I thought I was fairly entertained, but maybe, like I said, because I had chopped and screwed the movie a little bit into like watching this and then watching another video on YouTube on it while watching it. I yeah, I felt like it shouldn't have been a miniseries because it essentially was for me.

SPEAKER_03 10:04

It kind of was set up for it. I'm saying, like, go through it and see how they split up the events, and you could easily say this should be like at least six episodes that they should, you know, should have made from it. But that's kind of what was disappointing about the movie to me is I like the premise, I like the idea. I found the reasoning that we're given in the beginning for why there's a killer to be very offensive and and quite horrible. But I think you know, going through it, I was just like, I want more from this. And usually when you're watching a movie and you have a bad reaction, you don't want more, you know, the food is so horrible and the portions are so small or whatever. But in reality, here I think there was like a really good ground level for a taller building, and they just kept it at the ground level. Like, give me more, give me like 10 floors in this building. And that's what disappointed me is that you know you're watching it and there's obvious room for expansion, that just didn't happen.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

I I feel that expansion in in many ways, expansion in skill, expansion in exploration of the plot, expansion in the audacity, honestly. Look, for having really low expectations, again, I only went into this expecting standard slasher affair. I didn't expect it to be amazing, but I expected it to be entertained. I am enthusiastic about slashers. I was surprised how many disappointments I managed to feel during its runtime of a hundred minutes. And most of that comes from the performances we get. Look, I'm gonna be honest, I couldn't really pick out Jamie Kennedy the moment he's on screen.

SPEAKER_04 11:38

Oh really?

SPEAKER_00 11:38

Like you can look in his eyes and say, okay, yeah, that's Jamie Kennedy. But it doesn't feel like Jamie Kennedy. That's not Jamie Kennedy I've ever seen. And he he felt like such a shell of himself, and I can't place why. And I think even part of him is ruined because his first piece of dialogue is clearly recorded separately after the after production wrapped or something, was awkwardly inserted but never remastered. It's awful in that regard. Really, looking at the big three that I expected good things from, only one of them gave me something really, really, really good. Who? Tom Atkins.

SPEAKER_04 12:12

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Tom Atkins was a shining star in this movie. And Omar Epps wasn't awful, but he felt misdirected. I've seen different Omar Epps.

SPEAKER_01 12:21

Yeah, I've seen him in very good movies. And in probably bad movies too, but still good acting, but to each their own, right? I was surprised, one, by how many deaths are in this movie, but also surprised that nothing about this movie scared me. I'm gonna be honest with you.

SPEAKER_04 12:41

Yeah, this movie definitely was not scary. I think what might scare me the most is that I was surprisingly not mad about Tom Atkins this time around.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

See?

SPEAKER_04 12:50

He wasn't dating a teenage girl, which I thought they were gonna try and do at one point because there's a conversation that happens, and I was like, don't do it, don't do it, and they didn't do it. And I was like, Okay, Tom Atkins, can you play a lovable old curmudgeon in a town? Maybe you can, and maybe I don't hate you. So I think he and I have gotten to a new place that I'm really proud of. It's not Tom Atkins, it's the roles he's cast in. I think I can confirm that now.

SPEAKER_03 13:14

Yeah, Tom Atkins is great when used the right way. I just don't think any of us like to see him be cast as the super overly sexualized mustached man that teenagers are attracted to. I think curmudgeon is the perfect role because you can feel it. I think so.

SPEAKER_00 13:31

Yeah, give me Tom Atkins saying some bitch, and I'm good.

SPEAKER_03 13:34

Yes, Tom Hatkins should always have a shotgun somewhere. Like the real fright in this movie, the real scare factor comes from the script. That is the scariest part of this movie. Yeah. Is that somebody wrote the script, then read the script and thought, hell yeah. Because the script is pretty weak. One, there it the entire story is filled with things that characters, I mean, in other movies wouldn't do, but in reality nobody would do. And then some of the lines they use in the dialogue are rough.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Oh yeah, they're real rough. Real rough. Remember when we watched My Bloody Valentine? And we were commenting on how the writer wrote a scene for himself to be confronted with an entirely naked woman.

SPEAKER_04 14:18

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:19

That same guy wrote this. That guy is also one of the cops in this movie.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

And honestly, even a broken clock is right two times a day, and I think my bloody valentine was more right.

SPEAKER_03 14:33

You know, maybe it's because that type of writing fit in better in the time period in which it was released. But in 2021, we have literally movies that seem like they're real life in terms of realism. So I it just doesn't play.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

Oh, let's be clear here. This was 2019, this is just pre-pandemic, before all of our hopes and dreams were crushed, right? This is not that long ago. It feels like a lifetime ago because of the lost year, but this is not, you know, it's not like we're going back to 1980s something, right? We're not even going back to the 60s, this is nine 2019. And you want to think about how scary this movie might seem, I had a big old lol in my notes. It's just it's rough. And I think it's rough because not only is it not scary, but it tries to find its footing in the leftovers of every other movie that's come before it. And this movie felt like such a watered-down version of Halloween, Meets Saw, and a number of crime drama, thriller TV shows you've seen over the years. There's one I'm thinking of in particular. I'll hold to the second half because I feel like it will give away something that I don't think the twist in this movie is particularly big by any means. Had it figured out like the opening title graphic, but it's just a fucking bad mixed bag.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

There is one thing in this film that I thought might be original, and once again, it relates to Dead by Daylight, and I thought, oh, is that where this thing came from? Perhaps? Uh I don't know if it's true. I tried to look it up and there's really no confirmation of where the inspiration for the thing I'm thinking of uh is sourced. But this movie overall just felt like a like you know when you go to the dollar store and you buy paper towels and they're like, Bunti, and they're not bounty, and they're like, but they're very familiar and the packaging looks the same. This felt like all of those put into one kitchen, and then you just like move into this kitchen and you're like, oh, it's mostly good. It's definitely here.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Yeah, but it's not Aldi, right? It's distinctly knocked off dollar store, not even Dollar Tree.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Or Dollar General. It's more like a a dollar store called Holla, it's a dollar.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

I don't think I could give this any originality points. It's kind of painful. I mean, the premise is fun. I think it could have been better executed. It is an interesting idea, but I don't think it's new. While watching it, my wife also commented that it reminded her of the premise of another movie that we've we've talked about, but never watched because it's not a horror movie, it's a comedy. So I I don't know what that says about this. It just feels like we went looking for a big picture and instead we like grabbed a couple puzzle pieces and were like, look, I made a picture out of five puzzle pieces, but no, they'll get the gist. Right. It's like painting by numbers, is really what this feels like.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

So y'all think this is an original. It did remind me of a lot of things, but it kind of reminded me of a lot of things that I like about horror movies. You know, I I like the slashers, you know, I like that's about it. Um, it did remind me of two movies. Well, one movie in particular called The Final that I watched years ago, and for some reason this movie's always stuck with me. And similar situation, teenagers doing stuff they shouldn't. And Chris, I wonder if we're thinking about the same reference because I feel like we might be. Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 17:59

I can't say I have any idea what show you might be referring to, but I can tell you that I feel like the ending of this movie was kind of a fun little twist. Chris, you said you saw it coming. I did not necessarily see it coming. I considered it a possibility, but when it was happening, I was like, oh, okay, that's kind of a fun idea. The exposition wasn't it, the climax wasn't it, but the the machinations that they were thinking of were having potential.

SPEAKER_00 18:31

It's so interesting. I've never seen you reach so far for a compliment.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

I have really long arms. I feel like the ending of this movie I can try to sum up with with a metaphor or analogy or whatever the heck I'm gonna refer to it as. But basically, imagine going on on like a pretty decent date. You know, it's it's kind of mediocre, but kind of okay. You're not truly offended by the other person, you don't think it's gonna be forever. Then they walk you up to your door and they let out the world's biggest fart. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 18:59

You've said this before, I think. I think you have.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Maybe, maybe. But this is what I'm imagining is they let out the world's biggest fart, and then they just make eye contact and smile. And they don't leave, they're just standing there smiling and making eye contact. That's how I feel the ending of this movie is.

SPEAKER_01 19:14

That's really psychotic, okay. That sounds so psychotic. So is this fucking movie, Alexis?

SPEAKER_03 19:20

Yeah, yeah. And specifically, there was a line at the end of the movie that was so just out of nowhere and so dumb.

SPEAKER_00 19:28

Was it the one whispered as a dying breath?

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Yes, yes, it was. And that really cemented the absolute fartness of it for me.

SPEAKER_01 19:36

There's no fart in this for me.

SPEAKER_04 19:38

A dying fart.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

I too, like Paris. Well, I didn't see it coming. But I don't pay attention in detail and try to figure out the ending. I'm kind of just like on for the ride. But I was like, when is this movie gonna end? Because I thought it'd end a while ago. So I think that extra 10 minutes really adds, but I'm telling you, I made an hour and 40 minute movie into like two and a half, well, yeah, two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_00 20:05

Okay, well, let's let's unpack that ending in the second half and I'll tell you what clued me in immediately, and then how it was confirmed throughout the movie before we get to that twist. I will say the ending was the best part of the movie only because it was fucking over. And honestly, it was a little bit of a okay, alright, they really have just established Omar Epps as Dr. Loomis. Right? Like they finally like think about the the parallels there. Now, now they have a little bit more in common, and I'll I'll leave it right there. I won't go too far, but I can't wait to unpack that later. Now, let's go ahead and start making our way to our ratings. But before we get there, Alexis, how many people died in this movie?

SPEAKER_01 20:47

Oh, I'm happy to report 31 freaking people died in this movie. Wow. A little on the nose.

SPEAKER_04 20:54

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Oh, yeah. I had fun counting these, let me tell you. But what about the animal report? We are clean as a whistle.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

Well, I'm glad the animal report is clean, but let's see if our ratings will be just as clean. Trick from 2019. Streaming on Hulu. Is it a hacker or a slash?

SPEAKER_03 21:12

I I want to go first on this one because I'm just gonna be really straight up with it. It's a total joke and a waste of time. It's not necessarily like total trash, right? I think it's solidly a B movie. It just feels like somebody turned in a C paper because they did it the night before. You know, I mean, from 2020 and up until late 2021 now, I think we're all used to seeing a lot of streaming content come out simply because people are at home watching it, especially last year, which was more fortunate last year because a lot of stuff that had been filmed and produced in 2018 and 2019 was finally hitting in 2020, and Netflix was in its prime for like just like buying anything and putting it on the service. But I think that also led to a lot of trash being put up for viewing, and I think this is part of. That. I think you get pretty garbage special effects, a trash script, mediocre acting from good actors. And that's really sad because you know it's not really their fault. Like Chris mentions, Tom Atkins, of course, is the probably the most enjoyable character in this entire film to watch. At least I I agree with that. But I just feel like it is a C. It's it's there was an attempt, but it wasn't wholehearted. You know, they didn't really try that hard. And if I had to recommend this to anyone, I would just say recommend like skipping in Hulu.

SPEAKER_00 22:30

The problem is C's get degrees, and your your comparison to that implies it passes.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

I think it passes to the point where they sold it, they got it on a streaming service, they got people to watch it. We we pay per month to watch it, and we just did that. So um I think sure they they met their goal of of making money. I don't know how much they made, obviously, but you know, they they did something. Not gonna say it was good though.

SPEAKER_01 22:54

Jokes on us? Interesting. You said that was gonna be short, but it wasn't.

SPEAKER_03 23:00

You know, sometimes sometimes when you you make estimations, they're not accurate. That's just what happens.

SPEAKER_01 23:05

I guess so. Kind of like this whole movie. All right, I feel very similarly to you, Mac, but I'm more on the flip side. I appreciate B movies very much. I don't know what it is, I think it's just something that my sister and I were like, let's go find the craziest movie we can on Netflix, which is how I've seen the movie The Final, which is a solidly way better movie than this is. But I'll have to be honest, I mean, I don't think I'll ever see this again, but I don't think it was a total waste of time either. I think it just was what it was. And I don't know if it's just I'm excited for Halloween, because I've hacked better movies than this. And this isn't my strongest slash either, but it's getting a slash. I'm confident in that. I'm just giving this a slash, and I'm leaving it at that. I'm not gonna sit here and defend this movie because every point you guys make is probably correct. But I still enjoyed it. I don't know if it was maybe the deaths, the slash, slashing, deaths. I don't know. There were a few that were like iconic, I think. The rest were just trash, but I don't know. I'm just gonna say it's a slash. Don't judge me.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

I love that, Alexis, because something can definitely be bad and still be enjoyable. So there's really no shame in you having a good time watching this movie.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 24:19

Because it like wasn't that bad. I mean, at one point I did text Chris, is this the longest movie ever made? Because it sort of like builds up to the big night at one point, and I checked the runtime and I was like, wait, we're not even halfway done, and it's already the big night. What the hell are we getting into?

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 24:36

Overall, this movie felt very long for me. The script was bad, it was giving very like low budget, even though I don't know if that's necessarily the case. That's how it felt. Uh, it was really like bad pacing, it was awkward. At one point I did fall asleep, and then I had to wake back up and rewind, which is always my favorite thing to do, and I don't think I've ever slashed a movie that made me do that. Also, the exposition was pretty weak. Like the idea that they were revealing to us was interesting, but the way it was revealed was very bad. The thing that I hated the most though was the antagonist, because we're sort of like expected to believe that this teenage boy killer has like these like supernatural powers, and he's like so fast and so cool. And I felt like they were trying so hard to make him seem like cool and like edgy with like his little like skull hoodie and his face paint, but it was really just giving me like 4chan incel edgelord energy, and it was just like so impotent that I was like, this killer's not cool or interesting or likable, and I need the killers to be somewhat likable in a slasher because you kind of want to see them kill people, that's kind of why you're here. But I didn't really enjoy them killing people. Now there were a couple kills that were interesting that were very like elaborate, we can say, and I found those to have been some of the higher points of the movie, but ultimately this is very hacky.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

This movie was, in a word, insubstantial. It made a lot of choices, most of them weren't great, and it was distracting how much they were calling back to John Carpenter's Halloween down to the stolen tombstone. Ultimately, though. I felt like this movie was more work than recreation, and I don't mean that not because I was watching it for the show. It was just that difficult to get through. And it is infuriatingly almost a competent movie. On paper, this movie should work. On paper, these humans have all assembled together, and they have previously assembled in different combinations to make really incredible things like a quiet place too. And this somehow happened. And I think I can really equate it best like this. It's like going to a grocery store and you pick up a bag of chips, right? Like let's say it's like Pirate's Booty, but it's like a slightly different flavor of Pirate's Booty. That is for Ryan, because we recently purchased some Pirates Booty together recently. But you you pick up this new flavor and you take it home, you're about to dig in, you're really craving it, right? And you start tasting it, and it tastes a little bit off, and you're thinking, mmm, maybe it's just a flavor. I'll keep trying a little bit. And then you slowly realize it's not that it's a flavor problem, it's just barely stale. This movie is barely stale, and it's so frustrating. And Alexis, I too love B movies. In fact, let me read you a list of titles I'd much rather watch before watching this hack of a movie. Ginger Dead Man 2, The Passion of the Crust, The Giant Gillow Monster, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. All of these seem better than experiencing this labor of a movie again. And with that, Trick from 2019 has earned three hacks and one slash. Now, you can, if you want, if you're feeling generous, if you are as kind and benevolent as Alexis is, find this movie streaming on Hulu. But either way, join us in the second half because we have some shit to talk together. See you in a bit.

SPEAKER_03 28:08

Alright, welcome back. You're listening to the Slash McSlash podcast. And I want to take a moment to talk to you about our sponsor for this episode. It's our old friends over at Tricker. If you've ever had to plan a Halloween party, you know there's a ton of work to do, lots of things to schedule and sort out by hand. But what if I told you you could have it all fully planned in just a few minutes with a couple clicks of a button? With Tricker, planning your next Halloween batch will be as easy as signing up, choosing a party template, and right away you're set up with a website, invitation email, and even a place for guests to upload photos of all the fun. The next time a friend or family member is struggling with invitations, food choices, or even choosing a music playlist, use Tricker to save them a ton of time and honestly headaches. And if you use the promo code SLASH, they'll even throw in a free serial killer surprise to really spice up your pumpkin filled night. Finding your next party will be a treat with Trickor. Many thanks to Trickor for making this and many other episodes possible.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

We have a lot to unpack here, but before we get into the specifics of our ratings, we do have 31 kills to break down in terms of gore. Alexis, what's the gore score for this movie?

SPEAKER_01 29:22

It is very high, not terrifier high, but because I think it's very spread out, this gore. And a lot of them is just stabby mix stab and gone. But yeah, this movie doesn't lack in the gore at all, which I think was my favorite part. And I think that's why I can take it with a balance. I'm like, okay, I like the gore, it's about Halloween. Okay, everything else is fine. That's trash about this movie. But it's crazy, like you have this first scene that happens and it's so violent, and it to me was unexpecting. And you get that what, six deaths in five minutes, which I haven't seen that or recall that in a pretty long time.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

Yeah, it was a lot up front. Like for that to be the opening scene was quite surprising. It was just like, oh, okay, this is how we're gonna do this movie. Yeah, I wrote in my notes.

SPEAKER_04 30:13

Opening song is cool, opening scene was alright, so I wasn't mad at that point.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

So I would really love to know what y'all's favorite death source. And do you have 31 to choose from? I would assume no one's was gonna overlap, but it may.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Mine was definitely the pig. And that was during the Halloween maze, and they are trying to hype themselves up to walk past this person who's clearly a scare actor in a mask they've already run into once, and then Trick just fucking jumps on him and stabs him in the head. Really feel sorry for that guy.

SPEAKER_01 30:44

That blows. Blows to the head. I know. I get that. Which I like that kill because it's from the top, and I feel like a lot of these stabs-I mean, everyone was stabbed to death pretty much in this movie, but a lot of them were to the stomach or their throat was slashed. Well, and you know, you get numb to that after a while.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

It's because Trick was so short.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Oh, is that it? That's how short people kill people, huh? You would know. I would know. Maybe.

SPEAKER_03 31:12

I think you have to reward ingenuity, so I'm gonna go with the handcuffs to the throat. Because if you got handcuffs, use them. Yeah, there were a couple handcuff kills, and I was like, huh. Okay, sure. There was also some good use of other weapons that were nearby, like just in the hospital, and I thought, like, if you're that kind of killer, to just avoid those weapons would be dumb. So good use of everything you see around you.

SPEAKER_01 31:40

Yeah, it was like a blade with like gears on it or something. I don't know what the heck that was.

SPEAKER_04 31:45

I am happy to hear that nobody has taken my favorite kill yet. Deputy Green. First of all, we love non-binary representation in film. I thought this character uh was painfully unexplored because you get like a tiny little glimpse into their personal life, and I was like, oh, I wish we got more of them. But I found it super interesting how we got almost like a saw-level kill with that trap that they walked into with just like a boat anchor right to the gut. I feel like boat anchors are very rarely used in horror movies, but whenever they are, I'm always like, ooh, that's good, because a boat anchor is like both sharp and very heavy.

SPEAKER_01 32:20

They should use those more often. I feel like the motors are used more on both.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

Yeah, I think what frustrates me is that that death seemed like it'd be really cool. The mechanic seemed like it'd be there. And then this person is still able to just walk around after that, albeit painfully. But it's just no, if you gotta I don't care how thick your guard belt is, if you got an anchor going in you, that's not you're not you're not standing up anymore, bud.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

Okay, but wait, the other reason I love this kill is because you almost get like two kills in one because they were still standing after that first part, so they finally make it to the car, and then the killer just like hops in this crane and starts swinging shit around, like so telegraphed, so easy to avoid, but somehow still managed to decapitate them with a cross hedge stone. I was like, okay, this is the utmost, so elaborate, so prepared, so thought out, and so it's my favorite.

SPEAKER_00 33:11

Yeah. With a stolen tombstone, again, just like Halloween, it's almost like Michael Meyer's student stealing Judith's tombstone. But the mechanics of that, so they pushed the sheriff out of the car. I thought that they were still laying fairly sideways. I feel like they could have just been down, and then somehow they were up enough to be decapitated. It was cool, it was very dramatic, and I can understand why that's your favorite kill.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

I don't understand why it didn't just smash their head versus giving it a clean cut-off to fall into the backseat.

SPEAKER_01 33:42

All that momentum, physics, you know. I don't know, should we call it Mist Busters and see what the how they can you describe this decapitation? Should it happen this way or should it happen another way?

SPEAKER_00 33:52

Honestly, I just want to go to a school where all the physics books are filled with word problems of horror movie kills.

SPEAKER_04 34:00

Oh, I'm I'm down for that.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Speaking of decapitation, not sure which one gets the first medal award, first place award, but definitely Agent Swift. Something about that, I was like, I'm gonna get a kill like Saw. I'm gonna get a different trap, like you were describing, Paris. And I think I was trying to figure out the mechanics. I'm like, well, what's going on? And I give it up for Omar Epps trying to lift the rocks up on that. She's like, Are you helping?

SPEAKER_04 34:34

That was very sad and futile.

SPEAKER_01 34:36

It was, and then you just see the antagonist just jump on it, and I was like, Brilliant. He doesn't care. You know, if Omar Epps was, you know, smart enough, he just grab him, like from there. But there's many things we'll talk about him being um in law enforcement that he made mistakes, but we can talk about this later.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

Can I add to this though? Because I have been the victim of a pulley before. It it wasn't a nefarious killer or anything.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

You have your head still, so right.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

So garage doors also use pulleys, right? Trouble being, when the thing that attaches the pulley to the door breaks, it flies up with immense force and speed. And it hit me on my cheek about a half inch away from my eye and sliced my cheek. And it was a super clean cut because again, it's so insanely fast. But the edge of that metal plate just went zipped right up. My dad's, you know, in the other side of the garage looking over, he's like, Oh my god, cover your face. Like, cover, just grab your cheek. And so I was like, What? Like, I didn't feel anything. So I just like grabbed my cheek. Oh my god, and my hand is covering my eyeball, and he comes over, he's just like, Lift your hand, just lift your hand for a second, real quick. Because he thought this thing cut my eyeball open. Oh my god, but it had just aimed it just the right way, so it just sliced my cheek. I had to go get like 12, 15 stitches, something like that, and uh just a little scar to hold on to. But had it been literally half inch the other direction, um, I would not have my eyeball.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

And that gore sounds more impactful than most of the gore in this movie. I'm kidding, that's a little bit rude, but that does sound terrifying. That will story will live in my mind with Rose McGalvin's death and Scream in the garage door.

SPEAKER_04 36:19

That's exactly where I thought this was gonna go.

SPEAKER_00 36:21

He was going through the door, the doggy door as a kid. But I will say, with Asian Swift's death, I enjoy how elaborate it was. It did feel like F-level saw regurgitation, but I think it was among the best in this movie, right? But I couldn't help but laugh because of the little fingers that just fell.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

Oh, yeah, I know I agree because I wasn't sure what those were, and then I said, Oh my gosh, her fingers were stuck behind the head or stuck between the head and the pulley system.

SPEAKER_04 36:53

Yeah, Agent Tina Mendez got a really raw deal in this movie. She got like her fingers removed, she got stabbed a bunch of times, she was forgotten and neglected, and then stabbed some more. It was a rough night for her.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Really, truly, but also terrible acting. So, did she have it coming? Probably.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

And why are they meeting at the bar in the middle of the night?

SPEAKER_00 37:13

It's a cop bar. That's cop porn.

SPEAKER_04 37:16

And also the killer's dead Mac. We put four slugs in him, and he fell out of a building and then jumped into a cold river. There's nothing to be afraid of.

SPEAKER_00 37:23

Oh my gosh. Paris, you bring up the backstory there. And Alexis, I'm sure you have so much to share about the gore in this movie, but I just I can't let this go without saying how ridiculous it looked when he's shot before he falls out of the window. It's like they couldn't even afford the good fake glass that shatters. This one just like really oddly colored. Very bad. But the blood coming out of him as the bullets penetrate him was the worst kind of CGI I've ever seen.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

Not great.

SPEAKER_04 37:51

That's one of those cases where they were like, screw it, we'll do it in post. Uh-huh. Very that. And then didn't have the resources to do it convincingly.

SPEAKER_01 37:59

Well, it seemed like they saved a little bit of money on the um practical effects because that head coming off was not realistic at all.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

You know, I think all the budget went to Omar Epps, Jamie Kennedy, and Tom Atkins.

SPEAKER_01 38:13

Yeah. I'll give it for Tom Atkins, but not Jamie Kennedy, who's just featured really in the end. But yeah, I do love the blood spurting out. Like that was just like my favorite seeing that because I wasn't expecting them to do a full-on visual of that.

SPEAKER_03 38:27

I think they really should have trimmed down the kills. And I know that they went for 31 and it makes sense. It's you know the 31st day of October, it's Halloween.

SPEAKER_01 38:35

I did not pick up on that. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_03 38:38

Oh wow, but I I wish they had just trimmed it down so they could spend more per kill, or like show no blood when it comes to the stabbing kills. We we almost didn't even need to see them. There's so many stabs to the stomach. Like basically over half of the kills were just like stab really fast, shank is effectively what they were doing, just shank, shank, shank, and then move on. Like, just show it, you know, from from behind the person. Don't actually show us any of the blood because you're just wasting money on that. And spend more money on the big kills so that you don't have a Halloween prop falling onto the ground when someone's decapitated.

SPEAKER_00 39:12

I did like the speed at which he shanked, though. I really enjoyed the mobility and how agile this killer was. All the jumping on the shoulders, like a little spider monkey.

SPEAKER_01 39:22

He was like a little spider monkey. Yeah, I needed a tad I don't know if I need a tad bit less or what I needed, maybe a little bit more variety, because it seemed like I was becoming insensitive to some of these kills. I was like, okay, they're they're gonna get stabbed. All right, next, next, like, okay, come on, give me something else. So I feel like I that left me wanting more.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

And I I think it's good to show that like there was a lot of force that went into those stabs. You know, a lot of times in movies we just see like a fake stab and they're just like, oh, a knife goes into your body, no big deal. But it did look really aggressive when they had the killers doing a lot of that shinking. So I think it it worked well. And uh that was interesting because a lot of times we just get a single stab to the abdomen, the character falls down and dies, and that's that's how they're gone. And this one shows like there's a lot of work that goes into stabbing somebody to death. That's why they usually get stabbed a bazillion times. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:13

It's a crime of passion.

SPEAKER_03 40:14

And that's why they should have done a closer-up shot and not even shown us any blood, because then you would be able to see like really intimate, like the killer on top of the you know, the victim.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Yeah, a lot of the intimacy was gone, especially when you have 31 kills. You don't get that, and you can't show it, and you can't show it in the runtime that they have in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 40:34

And Chris, to go back to Halloween, I'm really surprised we didn't get a stab mounting someone to a door.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Well, apparently that was just one step too far for these folks, but they were okay with not killing Omar Epps and having him hobble out with a cane so he could really be Dr. Loomis.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

So I was a huge fan, though, of how the blood looked in this movie. I thought it was like very rich and dark, and I don't know if it was also the lighting in this movie, but I got a lot of these like red vibes, and I get it in my bloody valentine too. So I guess they're just repeating now that I'm talking through this the same thing that they did in my bloody valentine. But I think my favorite visual is definitely gonna have to be the masks that Trick has, especially the first two.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

Okay. Well, that was Paris and I'd both apparently. Oh fuck. No, no, no, no. It's okay. This movie doesn't have much going for it, but I do have a backup.

SPEAKER_01 41:31

So when Trick is in the first scene and he's flipping the mask around and it's like a sad face, I was like, oh, I like this. But my favorite was when he goes into that Satan soiree.

SPEAKER_04 41:44

Yes, that mask was so good.

SPEAKER_01 41:46

It reminds me of the reasons why I don't go into haunted houses because I don't like masks that I can't describe what it is in precise words. I'm like, it looks like that, but it's not that. I didn't know what to say. I was like, um pig, but it wasn't a pig. It was just very different looking, some sort of creature.

SPEAKER_04 42:05

I wrote in my notes, Alexis, I wrote Demogorgon Demon Vagina Mouth.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

I agree with the vagina mouth for sure.

SPEAKER_04 42:12

It was like almost like tree bark in texture, but I was like, oh, that mask is very scary and like very cool.

SPEAKER_03 42:19

I like that we got masks that aren't overly used in most modern horror movies. Like we always see clowns and pigs these days. It's very played out. So to get something a little different in the beginning with the you know, the double-sided like jack-o'-lantern face, I kind of was sad that we didn't get that the entire movie because I would have loved that that mechanic of like flipping the face around. That would have been kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00 42:41

I think this movie was supposed to just be a short film.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:45

Look, I'm not saying I Googled anything, I'm not saying that information is out there. I'm saying this movie feels like the first part of it was a short film.

SPEAKER_01 42:53

And then it just lost its way. Yeah, because I like that as a short film. I don't think it needs to go much more.

SPEAKER_04 42:59

And honestly, if I didn't know that this movie came out in 2019, maybe I would have felt differently about that. But seeing them basically do like a countdown to Halloween night 2019, and then to realize that by the time you get there, the movie's not even halfway done. I was like, wait, we've been building up to this for what feels like an eternity now, and there's still so much left to get through.

SPEAKER_03 43:20

It reminds me of Tarantino films where there's like clear chapter markers, there's like a title card that takes over the screen. I think they would have benefited from having, you know, like chapter one, summer of 2015 or something. Or not summer, obviously, but you know what I mean? Like having a distinct separation, but slowing it down and splitting it into however many years are doing equally. I think having a three part chapter or you know, section or whatever they would have done there, I think it would have been more effective that you would have like built up a little bit of care for some characters, then boom, they're dead, and then you move on to the second part a year later. And you know, it I just it felt so rushed in the beginning, and then like, okay, now we're here, and now we can actually focus on the movie, forget everything that. Before it's whatever. But visually, there's not much to comment on in the film. I really didn't like the gore. It was super cheesy. The masks were pretty fun. I wish they used those masks more because I hated the stupid makeup they had underneath. That seemed like a like a waste, you know? It was like we have these really cool masks, just keep those on. Why would you ever take them off?

SPEAKER_00 44:22

That's fair. The masks were top-notch. Even the face paint I wasn't totally mad at. But my runner-up for favorite visual is gonna be Tom Atkins. I'm not serious.

SPEAKER_04 44:34

Okay. I was gonna say, because he was looking very textured.

SPEAKER_00 44:38

But he does look great with, you know, just like this pure white hair and a little bit of a tan. It looks like a great old curmudgeon. But I think my other backup would be the actual set dressing in this film because I think something that gets lost in how mediocre the rest of the movie is is how well it's dressed. Particularly when they bust into the house and the sheriff says, fuck, this kid's really got a thing from pumpkins. But it actually are some dope looking pumpkins and jack-o'-lanterns around, and even the way that the theater is set up or the parties are set up. A lot of this movie does look pretty good. It's just then kind of muddled with, you know, Paris going back to your favorite kill. There's that moment where like the the footage jumps in, punches in, and you can tell that they punched in in post instead of actually filming a close-up because the grain on that footage is so nasty. It looks like a handicam recording at this point. It's it's muddled between these really poor choices, and that's where I'm struggling to figure out where this movie went wrong and where the fault lies.

SPEAKER_03 45:39

I can say where I think they went right, and that and that goes to my favorite scene in the movie, and that's the maze. Yes. I like the maze. I think that's a great way they should have ended it inside of the maze because they really could have drawn that out. It was visually interesting. Could you know having it set up where you wouldn't know who's good, you know, and just just an actor, and then who's like one of the killers, I think would have been really interesting. And even when Trick ends up killing the pig dude, Trick could have taken the pig mask and laid there, and then you wouldn't have known, and then boom, would have popped up and stabbed somebody. But the scene in which they realize that he's in the maze and they're running from him, and they're like getting really lost, and the kids are running. I mean, kids do that stuff, right? It would be super scary to be running through a maze when killers are after you and your kids just run the wrong way, and you don't know where they went. That would be horribly frightening. So that whole segment when they realize, like, oh my god, he's out there, and wait, where did one child go? I think best part of the movie for me.

SPEAKER_00 46:38

That was a really good scene, Mac. My favorite scene comes quite a bit beforehand. It's actually the opening scene and then leading into the chaos in the hospital. Again, very Halloween, very Michael Myers just mowing down bodies. But I really enjoyed, as ridiculous as it was, I really enjoyed the action of like slashing cops with handcuffs and then finding any tool he could. It kind of made me giggle when he thought he could just throw on scrubs but not wash the paint off his face. It was just it was it was really silly, but at that point I was like, okay, if this movie's doing this on purpose, then I can get into it. But I think I really liked it all the way up until he fell out of the window. That opening, right? Like that first chunk, even we get Cheryl in the hospital, and not the best acting I've seen in my life, but I do think she has some potential, right? I feel like that's some of the better acting that we get in this movie.

SPEAKER_04 47:31

Honestly, Chris, my runner-up for favorite kill was actually Patrick's first kill, and it's the part after he falls out of the window because it's such a realistic, like, quick drop and a plop onto the concrete, and then like another fan is like, oh shit, and sorts out of the way. But that was not enough for that to be my favorite scene because the CGI was very rough, like you mentioned. My favorite scene was no less rough, I'd say, uh, but I watched it maybe 15 times because it made me laugh so hard. And it is actually the very final scene where we have Cheryl and uh Lisa, and it's actually the very final scene where we have Cheryl and Lisa looking at a map, and I I know for a fact that they were told to just improvise some dialogue because the words that come out of their mouths are, sounds good. We move south, all right. This way? Yeah. Good. Sounds good, and it's so awkward and so unnatural that I recorded it on my phone and I've watched it a hundred times.

SPEAKER_00 48:30

Did you also get a little bit of intimacy from their embrace though, as they were talking about moving on down south together?

SPEAKER_04 48:36

A little bit.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

Yeah, it's very interesting because I was like, I wasn't getting the vibes the whole entire movie, then all of a sudden, I guess when you go through a traumatic experience, maybe you have that bond, but you come out a little gay. Or that, yeah. Honestly, Christina Reyes?

SPEAKER_00 48:50

Yeah, gorge. Yes, I did look up her name.

SPEAKER_01 48:52

My favorite scene is when you get the death of Smooth Johnny. Not for the death, but because that was the twist. I wasn't expecting that everyone seemed to know what was going on. But I had even put in my notes because I was riding the kills as I was going, and I put it in as Patrick. And I said, Well, what? And then I had to like, I'm like, okay, let me get away from the notes really quick and actually go through and see what the heck is going on. And then you get the scene following with the other trick trickers, tricks, tricks, I don't know. Tricksters? Tricksters? Yeah, whatever we want to call them. And I enjoyed that because I wasn't sure what was going on. And then you essentially get the attempted murder, but I did write my notes. If he did die, I would have ha uh hacked this movie for sure. That would be the only reason I really wanted him to live, and he did.

SPEAKER_03 49:51

I think they could have done it had they made Cheryl the main character of the movie, the main protagonist. And they should have. Especially when we see that she's been taking some like self-defense courses. I think at that point, the Was he a detective or was he an agent? It was really unclear which organization he belonged to.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

All it all was.

SPEAKER_00 50:09

Well, here's the thing. He he seems like he should be a detective. He is billed as a detective, but then his colleagues are agents, and I think they're very confused. Detective is not a thing in the FBI. Am I am I wrong?

SPEAKER_03 50:26

I don't think you're wrong. They just couldn't figure out like what organization they wanted him to be a part of, so they just had him linked up with everything.

SPEAKER_00 50:32

General crime fighting. Vigilante.

SPEAKER_03 50:36

I am FBI policeman.

SPEAKER_00 50:38

Two days away from retirement.

SPEAKER_03 50:41

Getting too old for this. Yeah, so honestly, like when we get to the current year and we've got Cheryl learning self-defense and everything, and the detective is still hung up on this, at that point he should have become expendable.

SPEAKER_00 50:53

I agree with that. I agree. Cheryl was supposed to be our lorry, and she wasn't far off, but the the moment when she's at the maze and then sees Trick staring at her from the distance, and they make eye contact, it's like, oh fucking kid, guys. Could you just do anything different that's not taken from a one of his one of the most historical slashers of all time? It's infuriating. But Cheryl was actually a bright spot. Again, this is where I struggle because I thought it seems like maybe poor direction. But then I'm like, oh, but this guy's actually directed a lot of stuff. It's really good. So how? How do we walk away with this? I feel like Tom Mankins is the only one who just totally nailed it the whole way through.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

I would also like to give honorable mention to the child actor I referred to earlier. Her performance was so lived in, she was truly terrified to be in that maze, didn't want to be there at all, and everything felt so genuine coming from her. And I was like, you know what? Good for this girl.

SPEAKER_03 51:51

I see a future for her. Paris, I thought of you when you know they're they're seeing the pig man, and it's part of the maze, but when they drop the candy, and she's like, Oh, like pick up the candy, and she's like, I don't care about the candy, I just want to go. Yeah. I was like, oh, that's so Paris energy right there. Leave the candy, just get out. Get me the fuck out of here, is what she wants to do.

SPEAKER_01 52:10

It might also be Alexis, though. Oh, I wouldn't be in that thing, let me tell you. If someone popped out of the ground like that, I probably die.

SPEAKER_03 52:18

You would have turned around and yelled, nope, and then just run away.

SPEAKER_01 52:20

Yeah, I would have been like, sorry, I'm having a heart attack right now, I need to go. I'm having a medical condition I need to attend to and get it the fuck out.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

So I have some trouble though, to get more serious, I guess, with the realism involved in character choices. And I don't know if you felt the same way, but that it really ruined the movie for me to see how law enforcement people in this film chose to do things and chose how to react. It just seemed like they always made the wrong decision every single time.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Do you mean when Omar Epps literally went around the crane and the detective was able to get killed? And he was like, Oh shit. I like, I mean, how far does it take to walk around there? Don't you hear it? She's like saying, No, no, don't do this, or something like that. And he's just like, Oh shit, I'm late. Like, what? You don't leave an officer unattended like that in a situation like that. I mean, I don't know. I'm not a police officer, nor have I been through any sort of training for this. He's an FBI agent, so yeah, he should know something.

SPEAKER_03 53:22

But that's such a good example, though, because it comes down to a lot of his choices in the movie. Every time like he finds somebody that seems like they might have been wounded or injured or whatever, or they might be dead. Like, he's just like, oh well, let me go find the killer now. Like, good luck. Except for at the very end where he's like, No, we need to get you guys out. We're gonna get my family out. Let's get them to the car that was just stolen from me, and then hope that there's nobody like secretly tracking or hiding in the backseat. Yeah, that sounds like a great plan. At that time, yes, let's get out those people.

SPEAKER_00 53:50

Okay, but something I do appreciate is that this movie is a fucking ridiculous wild ride, and there are consequences to things because he does lose his badge. Okay, yeah, he loses a indiscript nondescript badge belonging to some organization. But one of the other things I appreciate about these characters is that it's almost like this writer thought, I'm writing some bullshit. Let me just have my characters call some shit out, right? Like Omar Epps asking why that guy still had fucking paint paint on his face, or even Agent Swift asked a few questions. It felt like every moment where I was like, What the fuck are we doing here, guys? somebody made a comment to say, no, it is this dumb. And if that was, I think, leaned into just a little bit more, it would have made this movie way more funny. And it I think it could have gone into slash territory had the characters been better at like realizing how ridiculous this the stakes were.

SPEAKER_04 54:51

Yeah, it felt like instead of developing the characters, they just kind of wrote that the characters were developed. Like at one point we have Cheryl coming back to like the diner to see her friend, and her friend's like, I still work at the diner, so you know I'm a towy. And then she refers to Cheryl as college girl, so you know Cheryl went off to college and doesn't still live there anymore. And I was like, Really? This is the varsity jacket. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 55:14

The varsity jacket that never left his body. Yeah. And then there's that quote with the interviews when they're trying to figure out like who this trick guy was. Trick was, and I quote, smart as fuck.

SPEAKER_04 55:25

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 55:26

Like that's all the development you need, right? Like that's just that's just it, right?

SPEAKER_04 55:29

Stupid.

SPEAKER_00 55:30

Some little nugget though that that made me laugh when I heard it. And I was I laughed with it instead of at it. But ooh, there was so much potential to do uh to go a completely different direction with this movie that would have been phenomenal.

SPEAKER_04 55:46

And also, like the whole time Omar Epps is like convinced that Trick is after him specifically, but it doesn't even make any sense for Trick to really even give a shit about him because it wasn't he wasn't related to the original kill. He was just kind of like there at the hospital when he escaped and maybe shot him. But then he was just like, I'm gonna make a tiny bit of progress on this case, but only once a year, and not enough to actually do anything. And I'm convinced that this is somehow about me.

SPEAKER_03 56:10

And they can't find this kid when they're in a town that's small enough to only have five police officers.

SPEAKER_00 56:16

But remember again that he floated down the river and all these kills are happening in small towns down the river. So it's not really in the same original first town. They just all kind of go together.

SPEAKER_04 56:27

Even though all of the same residents are there every time.

SPEAKER_00 56:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 56:31

They're just slowly migrating downriver at once a year.

SPEAKER_00 56:34

Well, we got some more murders. Let's move a little bit more south. That's perfect. Paris, it goes back to what you were saying perfectly about the conversation at the end, right? Yep. Sound good?

SPEAKER_03 56:46

Moving south that way. Yeah. Good. And it's it's made even worse, I think, by the fact that we half Mr. Detective Policeman agent show up with the cane, like, yes, I am still alive. I didn't die, and they saved me. All right, let's get in the car and head out, folks. With Nowoth, I have a I have a fancy cane, and then of course my gun, and we're a gang, and it's really cool. And it's like, can you just kill them off? Just let them die. But then what about the sequel?

SPEAKER_00 57:16

Good for him for not dying. I I don't I don't I like to I like Omar Epps. I like having Omar Epps around. But speaking of gangs and people being real cool, can we talk about how confused I was for a moment when Patrick wheels himself out? Yes. And he's in inmate clothing, and I was like, what the fuck? So he was arrested? Wait, yes. How did they not know this? But then I realized it was a Halloween costume because his chair was an electric chair.

SPEAKER_01 57:42

Oh, because I was like, are they just letting him go around? Like, what the heck?

SPEAKER_04 57:47

But wait, I also think that we weren't supposed to know that that was him, even though it was very obviously him.

SPEAKER_00 57:52

Why wouldn't we have known that? Because she had the realization with his scar. I felt like it was pretty obvious.

SPEAKER_04 57:57

Earlier, before that, there's a scene where you can see him like in the background or kind of in the foreground, like moving from one room to another. And I was like, that lanky ginger definitely looks like the killer with the makeup, and he's wearing bright orange in the frame, so I went right towards him.

SPEAKER_00 58:10

Oh yeah, yeah. That's I don't think they were supposed to know at that point.

SPEAKER_03 58:14

Yeah, but I mean at the beginning of the movie where they like couldn't figure out what he actually looks like because they only saw his face with makeup, they like do flashbacks to the dude's face clearly in view, where Agent Detective Man can like look at him and see him, and he was with him for how long, and now he's like, uh, nobody knows what he actually looks like. Come on.

SPEAKER_00 58:34

Thin eyebrows, thin lips, no eclipses.

SPEAKER_01 58:39

My thing is, wasn't he in school? So they should have been able to look at a yearbook or something. It wasn't like it was he just appeared at this.

SPEAKER_00 58:47

Remember, he was only there for a year and he was not pictured because he skipped picture day. Because again, when you ask what the fuck is up with this bullshit, they give you an answer. And here's the thing, right? I think this was one small, interesting little detail that came up in all this, because everybody's like really haphazardly describing trick, but Cheryl is the only one who feels really confident and she had that eye contact with him. I thought that he was sparing her because he also doesn't go outright to attack her, and he could have easily killed her in the beginning. I thought they had a thing.

SPEAKER_04 59:19

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_00 59:20

And I guess that was the most interesting thing they did this whole movie.

SPEAKER_04 59:23

Like they were secretly friends, but like she didn't want to like let people know because maybe he was an outcast, but they were like neighbors or something, or childhood close or something.

SPEAKER_00 59:31

Or maybe if he just hadn't killed that guy he was supposed to kiss, they probably would have gone home together.

SPEAKER_04 59:36

Yeah, she was down until she had to stab him.

SPEAKER_01 59:38

Yeah, because he had kind eyes. How do you describe that? What are kind? Are they oval? Are they brown hazel?

SPEAKER_00 59:47

Like it's a feeling, Alexis. A feeling you get only when you look into the eyes of someone who helps people with their homework.

SPEAKER_01 59:54

The guy who used to help me with my homework in high school. I'm thinking about his eyes now. I guess you'd say he had kind eyes. Yeah. You might be onto something.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:03

Of course I am. Because she was the only one. Everybody else described him as a fucking creep, and she was like, No, I saw him for what he was.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:11

A bully to the faculty.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:13

Again, a moment of potential.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:15

So this brings me to the worst part of the movie. And that is where they set up the entire movie, they have the twist, right? And we realize, oh gosh, there's more than one, and they're working together. But then we realize that they were working together during the first scene. During the first attack, they had already been planning all of this. And that's the part where it didn't make any sense because the EMT, who supposedly, you know, saw him as he hit the ground, he was in on it. Since the first kill, the doctor was in on it. He let him out of the handcuffs. So how long were they planning this? Did they have a chat room? You know, did they have like a forum that they were a part of? Like, what's the deal?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:56

They had a subreddit.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:58

It's 4chan.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:00

Or it was the uh what is that, that meetup app that everyone has where you just like I used it once to try to find a swing dancing group and it did not go well, but it's probably that. What? It's called Meetup.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:11

So Mac, you definitely gave a worst part of the movie you hacked, which I love. And I'll give a best slash worst part because I enjoyed it thoroughly. It is when Cheryl and Trick are finally confronting each other in the hospital, and at one point she likes he like stabs her in the shoe, and she like limps out of that room and into the hallway, where for no reason at all, there is a wooden bench right in the middle of the hallway that exists only for her to trip and fall into and break. And I died. Was it that you're talking about that great IKEA furniture she smashed in half?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

Yeah, that literally had no purpose being there. It was a bench in the middle of the hallway. The best part about it though was the way in which she tripped on it was very deliberate, like, oh no, I am tripping now.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:56

Yes, and then it just snapped clean in half.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:59

Man, I just felt like two people crawling around the floor trying to fight each other was laughably bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:06

But I think several were best parts of this movie. I think the potential of the actress who played Cheryl is a shining spotlight. I think Tom Atkins was the best part of this movie. And I also think that when Omar Epps in his wounded state tips over the wheelchair, they walk up and they're like, Oh, where is he? Where'd he go? Where'd he go? And then no one's noticing who the fuck this random guy is on the floor.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:31

Bright orange right there.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:33

You can't say you didn't see him. He's right there.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:36

Completely invisible, apparently. And he's just sitting there like, oh shit, they're just letting me leave. Sweet. Yeah, no one's even offering to help the man who's clearly been toppled over in a wheelchair, even if they didn't know he was the killer. At least help the man.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:48

But he has an orange jumpsuit on. Like get him somewhere. But I guess maybe like to me, I'd be like, oh, he I think he needs to go to a jail.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:55

He needs to be acknowledged, at least.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:58

It's a Halloween costume.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:59

Yeah, they're like sweet death row, you know, inmate costume. Uh let's get you out of here, sir.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:05

Let's get you right over to death row, sir. My bad. The costume, the costume is obviously very realistic to me.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:14

Yeah. No, but it was confusing at first. I also want to give an honorary best part to the agent with along with Swift when she's sitting at the at the table and she gets this photo or this text on her phone. She's like, why did Swift send me this out loud? As if that's a thing that you would do. And then just walks to the bathroom, like, okay, you're really just keeping us along for the ride. You're really just speaking it for us and and not for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:42

And it's not even there's not even a knock on the door, like, hey Swift, you alright in there? It's just like, let me walk into the restroom because he sent me a photo.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:48

So you guys mentioned this, I'm pretty sure, because I don't know what you call this effect, this post effect. I'm really not sure. But it was when I felt like there was like a dash cam, like in the crane, and there was like another point too, where I was like, this is even say camera. Like all of a sudden they're going from essentially to me, it felt like a first person perspective, but obviously it wasn't. It just looked like someone had set their GoPro in the whatever, the car at one point, and then the definitely the crane. I noticed it. And I'm like, this is completely different from what I've been watching. Like, I'm so confused on why you'd add that in.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:29

It's bad post-production, Alexis. It's bad choices. They ran out of money. And they only garnered around $30,000 in the box office. They weren't optimistic about getting their getting their return on investment. So they added more stuff. Well, they're so when you film things, sometimes you have holes where you have to put something. And that's why you do pickups and you try to refilm things, but they probably couldn't afford to actually refilm things.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:54

That makes sense, because you I'm sure you don't get it the first time completely through. So interesting. I did not know that.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:01

Now, Alexis, you did slash this movie, but I wonder, would you watch this again?

SPEAKER_01 1:05:06

I will not watch this again. I may recommend it. I I mentioned it to my sister, my stepdad. We'll see what they say. I don't know, we all have this very similar taste, so I bet they wouldn't say, oh, okay. Because they just love watching movies. So if it's not a total shithole, then they're like fine with it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:26

Well, I will not watch this again. Maybe in 20 years when they reboot it, because that's how the cycle of cinema happens. Maybe I'll like watch the trailer again and think, oh yeah, that's what it was like.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:37

What if they came out with the part two?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:40

If they came out with the part two and the critics reviewed it and said, Holy cow, we had no idea it could be this good. Wow, well done. Maybe I'll think about watching it again.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:50

Hmm. One, there are people out there who say this movie is good, Mac. Two, when you talk about the trailer thinking, oh yeah, that's what that was like. The trailer was so fucking misleading. I saw the trailer. Alexis, you remember, we were on a FaceTime called Planning the Calendar. I'm like, oh, this shit looks like it'd actually be decent.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:07

It's oh my god, I'm so frustrated by the trailer because it really painted it to be like this was the start of a whole series of movies that you're gonna want to see. This is the next Michael Myers level killer. This is gonna be like a Halloween favorite. You're gonna want to see what Trick gets up to once a year. And then we got this movie, and you were like, Y'all were just really selling yourselves. Good job. Because I I bought into it watching the trailer. I thought like this could be really good.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:31

With all of that being said, I can say with confidence that I'm in no rush to watch a movie again that Alexis has now described as not a total shithole.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:41

Oh, I'm dying. You know, as I was going through this, when it was like the first, I would say 35% of the movie, once we're past that first scene and we're really getting into the middle of them, like jump cutting their way through the years. I thought, okay, I'm not a fan, but I do think it this could be decent to have on in the background if you just want some Halloween spirit. But then we kept going further, and then the alleged twist was revealed, and I was just like, fuck no, this is awful. The exposition, right? It's one thing to for that to be the twist, and it's another thing for the exposition to be spoken aloud the way it is. And Mac, this really had me thinking back to something that you said on the Candyman episode. And this the sentence, if you haven't heard that episode, is gonna sound a little bit harsh, and Mac in no way like meant it in this harsh way, but you mentioned something about the concept of something being told but not earned. This whole movie is told but not earned, and you know what? It even tells you the twist right up front because it has it starts out with that title graphic of like the noun defining what a trick is, and it gives you all the options of what a trick could be, and as it's fading out, it's trick and tricks. And it's like, alright, cool, they're gonna be multiple killers, right? Like you just fucking gave it away right there. And uh, you know, you could think that's clever, and if that's the only thing that they did, but then the the FBI agents are talking about have you considered a copycat? Like, obviously, okay, we're just cementing it a little bit more as we go, and then the internet, like the with the websites of these people being obsessed, right, and like painting their face and holding up knives, it's like okay, clearly this is where this is heading. So I can't even say there's rewatch value to investigate the twist.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:24

It's such a good example of a sophomore essay that somebody writes where they're like, okay, I have to tell you what I'm gonna tell you, tell you it, and then tell you what I told you. Okay, so I have to do that, yes, and then if if I leave out a detail, I should over-explain that detail so that I I can't be blamed for it being left out, which is what we get when they are doing things like, Yeah, I left high school four years ago, but whatever, I am still wearing my varsity jacket, sir. Like those kind of moments where it's like trying to own up to the fact that you forgot something when you originally wrote the first draft, just leave it out. It's so bad, but everything just seems sophomoric, which is sad because this isn't someone's first rodeo writing a script, and it just feels like it.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

It's not even their second rodeo writing a script. They just really were well into their careers at this point, but as disappointing as that is, and disappoints you a little bit more because Mac still has some stuff up his sleeve for fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:23

I do. I mean, it's kind of funny. There's a ton of trivia for this movie. Just kidding. Let's jump right in. Number one, Tom Atkins was unsure which path to go in life, and ended up enlisted in the US Marines, where he realized that military life was not for him, and that he wanted really, you know, to be an actor.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:41

I feel like one of those is a fiction, but I think in general this is a fact.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:45

Yeah, I feel like there's definitely fiction to this, so I'm gonna stick with fiction.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:49

Yes, indeed, it's a fiction. But he did serve in the Navy before going to college, where he took drama classes and eventually became the mustache gentleman we all know and make fun of when he was oversexualized in the 80s horror movies we've seen. Number two. Struggling as a new actor for a few years, Jamie Kennedy ended up successful as a telemarketer, where he realized he could sell anything, including himself. So he pretended to be his own agent, and that got him linked up with real agents and managers and gigs and all that.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:13

I'm not sure about this because one of my favorite comedy movies is Malibu's Most Wanted. And he's in it, and he's pretty young. So I'm gonna say fiction.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:24

So you look at Malibu's Most Wanted and think, there's no way no one saw that potential.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:29

Yeah. I also was like, he's really roughed up in this version. This version of Jamie Kennedy is bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:38

Okay, so this is actually so random, but I know this to be true, and that's because I recently listened to a podcast with two drag queens that he was a guest on, and he told this story.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:48

Very random. This is indeed a fact, and Marty Power was the name he came up with for his screen agent, you know? Why not? That brings us to number three. The role of Talbot was written specifically for everyone's favorite stash wearer, Tom Atkins.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:00

Fact.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:01

Let's say fact.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:02

Let's say it indeed, because it is indeed a fact.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:05

It feels like the kind of role that they would write and be like, oh, I really hope we can get Tom Atkins for this, but they didn't think that they could. And then he just happened to be available.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:13

Right, and that's probably why it's the best character in the film. Number four, and this one's specifically for Paris.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:26

I'm obviously gonna go with a professional here and say fact.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:30

Not professional. This is fiction. Omar Epps is a cancer. July babies, right? Okay, but cancer and Taurus are very similar in that they have a love for opulence.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:40

It's okay, you got the question wrong.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:42

Obviously, I know everything about astrology because it's real and it matters in the world. And that takes us to our final question. Sorry, Paris. Deputy Green was played by Danny Shea, which we've mentioned, who got their start in front of audiences as a singer-songwriter. They auditioned for America's Got Talent, but after failing to launch a musical career, they moved on to becoming an actor.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:01

Hmm. Fiction?

SPEAKER_04 1:12:03

There's something about the hair here that makes me feel like this could be fact.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:07

So that's where I'm going. And that's how I getcha, is with, you know, some of the pieces of it putting it together. It's a fiction. They were indeed on America's Got Talent, but they're actually a successful musician with multiple albums released. Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:19

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:20

Well, that has been factor fiction.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:22

Well, there you have it, folks. Hulu tricked us into watching Trick from 2019, and it has earned three hacks in one slash. We've certainly had a lot to talk about here, and you know, even though we had a lot of negative things to say, this movie did get one slash. And there is a bit to enjoy within its 100-minute runtime. Now, we want to know what you think if you do dare to watch this.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:43

Keep in mind there are a number of ways you can reach out to us starting with our website, hackerslash.live, or on our social media accounts on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can also reach out to our Hackerslash Hotline. You can leave us a voicemail at 757-606-0128 or visit hacker slash.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:02

Or if you prefer treats to tricks, you can send us an email to feedback at hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:07

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode, consider joining the New Blood Drive and becoming one of our patrons. You can visit patreon.com/slash hacker slash to earn cool perks for as low as $1 a month. But don't forget, if you decide to join our $3 or $5 tier, you'll receive our fourth anniversary Halloween poster.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:23

We'll see you next time, folks. And remember, all parts being equal, the simplest solution is most likely true.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:28

And yet somehow it was the most complicated solution.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:32

Bye.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:41

Last week, we got a question from one of our patrons for our new free side segment. And this week we have another question from patron Joe. Joe says, I would like to hear what each member of the Hackerslash team believes to be a successful formula for their dream horror movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

Joe, I love this. Also, thanks for following us. I know you are a very loyal patron, so we appreciate that. I think mine's pretty much already done for me. I love a cabin movie with a whole bunch of teenagers, you know, early 2000s. So Cabin Fever does it for me. It's got a really good mixture of comedy in it, you know, backwoods kind of comedy. It's got a ton of gross horror in it. And it's just, I don't know, it's just such a good movie that I just I like the way that flows and I like the ending, and I just like the just the calamity that that movie is. But it's still grotesque, and it's still, you're like, wow, I'm I'm serious about this movie, but I know it's kind of funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:40

I love that. Alexis, that sounds very on brand for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:43

Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:44

I also love this question, Joe. So thank you so much for asking it. I think it should come as no surprise that my idea of a perfect horror movie would be like an all-female cast, maybe like one man who's either like gay or the killer or both. And then it has like dark comedy for sure, like Alexis was saying, because it can't be too serious, because there's situations where like if you are in these horror movie like moments, there would be funny things happening, and you would kind of have to laugh to cope, you know what I mean? And that helps to make it more realistic for me. So it would have to be like either like the plot of mean girls or like legally blonde or like miscongeniality. Okay, wait, miscongeniality. It's a beauty pageant, so it's all female cast, but then there's a killer who's like, I don't know, mad about it or something, and he's like killing off the pageant ladies one by one. This actually sounds incredible, and then it ends with the ending of the Susperial remake, where it's just over-the-top explosive levels of high gore.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:40

I love it, I love it.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:42

Talk about on brand. Yeah, can we make this?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:44

I would like the villain not have been able to get into the running for Miss Congeniality, and it's kind of like a retribution sort of thing.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:54

Yes, like she was just the first runner up and almost made it to the finals, but then got cut.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:59

Yes. And now she's mad as hell.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:01

Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:02

Yes, I would like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:03

I go the opposite way. I would prefer a movie that's very serious, right? I I like my horror like I like my sci-fi. I w I like it to be drama, character-driven, and and grounded in reality, to where the things that are depicted could absolutely happen in real life. And also it's gotta have a killer that's not shown too much to really kind of drum up the mystery. Because I don't like it when you get to see their face too much, or you know, if they're a beast of some kind, I don't want to see the creature that we're, you know, eventually going to see at the end. I like to be in the shadows, and there doesn't even need to be blood. When there is, it can be a small amount. We should just feel that looming fear. There should be a sense of imminent doom. That's what really makes it, I think, a solid horror movie. In terms of who the killer would be, doesn't matter. They could be a short person, they could be a tall person, as long as we don't see them too much.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:54

They can be a you want them to be a person or a thing, like a sci-fi animal side.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:00

I prefer when it's a person.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:01

Okay, interesting. This is a thriller, it sounds like.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:04

Well, it could be it could be done as a thriller, right? But you can use tension and you can use the type of deaths and the timing of the deaths, and and if so, if when it's character driven, you know, you can really get to know the characters and fear for them, and you should absolutely kill off characters that people care about after watching for half an hour or 40 minutes. You should you should show them going out and not having a chance so that you think anything could happen. Okay, very Game of Thrones. Well, so Game of Thrones, I have some trouble with. I watched all of it, whatever. I tried to read it once, and we spent 25 pages getting to know a character that dies, and in the TV show, it's like the first scene is the character dying. So I don't know if you have to go that far with it. But the sentiment is that no one is safe. That's you should always have to fear for people. You should never think, well, they're part of the friend group to get they're gonna survive. No, I think they should find someone in that friend group or even the main character that's shown to us from the beginning and kill them in the middle of the movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:56

I'm not watching this movie.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:58

I'll watch it.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:58

No offense. No offense. Well, I have a much easier answer to this question that is see Black Christmas 1974 or John Carpenter's Halloween 1978. But I did try to like write out some math, right? The question was for a successful formula. So I have the square root of 80s nostalgia plus a mysterious killer divided by a feminist message, minus a little bit of the gore, but cubed. So I don't know what that gets you, but there it is.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:25

Wait, what part is cubed? Everything.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:27

That's hacker math. Please keep that out. I mean, I don't ever want to lose this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:34

Okay, so the whole thing is cubed. Yeah. So you're squaring it and then you're cubing it.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:39

Yeah, because everything is better in threes.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:41

That's true. Rule of threes. Chris, you need to take a picture of that and and put that into like the chapter artwork or something, or maybe share it on Instagram when this releases so people can see the math that you've actually done on a piece of paper.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:53

Honestly, this is why I almost didn't graduate high school. I got straight A's, except for failing any basic math class. So I don't think anyone's gonna really want to see this Mac. Yeah, because I think a lot of that cancelled out, but uh we'll just leave it at that.

unknown 1:19:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:07

I'll tell you what, I'll revisit this at the end of the month. I'm gonna actually do some soul searching and uh use this fancy glass dryer race board to my right. I will try to hash out a mathematical formula to my favorite horror movies.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:21

I feel like all of the best horror movies have an ending you don't see coming. Or does do we not like a surprise? I love a surprise.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:28

A surprise is good, but it doesn't have to be a huge surprise like the killer was Scooby-Doo all along or anything like that. It doesn't have to be a twist. It should it should just be shocking.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:37

Yeah, I feel like sometimes they do too many twists. Like I was reading a lot of books at one point and they had the same ending, slightly different, but in general the same, and I feel like movies can get that way.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:47

Yeah, for me it has to be something that I didn't see coming from a mile away.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:51

See, I don't really care if it's surprising or not. I care how I feel and and the impression it leaves upon me. And I think surprise, it can be that you either be shocking or whatnot, but for me, I think back to the ending of Black Christmas where you just hear the phone ringing and this woman is now left alone in the house, and you know it's not over for her, and then the movie ends. Or in Halloween, for example, they go down to check out Michael's body and then he's gone, right? And it's his breathing playing over shots at the house that he could be anywhere. And that kind of feeling is what I love. And I honestly think, you know, even looking at like the a sequel that was really done well was the the 2018 Halloween. I'm so excited to see Halloween kills later this month, but it's able to recapture the magic of that and then upping the antsy a little bit more. But I think the that ending feeling, I want to feel like it isn't over, even if the events technically lead you to believe it's over.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:51

I want to add on to mine and say I don't know if it should belong in the first dream movie or in a sequel, but there should definitely be a protagonist seeming like you know they're going to survive and they're having their big monologue moment, and then the killer just is over and just kills them at in the final scene.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:08

I love that. Like I want to see that. So nobody wins in Mac's story, and in Chris's story, it ends with an ellipsis.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:18

Let's get to it. We recently reviewed Evil Dead slash the Evil Dead. Both Incarnations? Carnations? Tarnation? What am I saying? Iterations. Iterations, thank you, Mac. Okay. So when I was watching the opening credits and I saw Jamie Presley. Nope. What's his name? Jamie Kennedy. Jamie Kennedy. Oh, in my okay, my notes literally I wrote Jamie Presley. Could this all have been avoided if one dude had just said no homo?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:51

Maybe. This this movie does reek of a little bit of uh. Oh my god, what's that the homophobia? That's the word.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:01

That thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:02

That thing that's ruined lives.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:04

How could you forget?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:07

I almost said homoeroticism.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:10

A little bit. A little bit. Honestly, not enough.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:14

Feelings, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:16

We all did feelings.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:18

We're on feelings, and you can go to a surprise show.

unknown 1:22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:21

Chewing ice?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:23

Okay. I could hear it in the mic, but I just want you to know that that's an insane thing to do.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:29

Right. It's like painting by numbers, is really what this feels like.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:32

Oh, no, no, no. Hold on. I have a paint by numbers right here. What? That is better than this movie. Why do you have that? That's so random. Oh, it was um date night over FaceTime with my girlfriend. We did a matching paint by numbers. Well, not matching, complimentary. I had a lighthouse, she had a lake. Anyway, it's a thing. This is more difficult than this movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:56

Yeah, they do make those numbers extra small. And then the way those are, because it's supposed to be a water call. I've done one of those. They're hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:02

Yeah, and there's no fucking way the brush is small enough to get into these little nooks and panties. Like, who the fuck do you think you are?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:10

I just love that Mac immediately acknowledged the symbolism of you having a lighthouse and she having a lake. What a tangent. What an unexpected tangent.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:22

So y'all think this isn't original? I think it is original. Just kidding. I want to see Mac's face. I would have been like, how fucking dare you, Alexis?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:33

I was not ready for the passion of the crust. That title is incredible. I don't care what anybody says.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:41

Ooh. You know what? That that moment does have some tension. Can I tell you why I was not afraid for those kids though?

SPEAKER_04 1:23:48

Because the child actor was one of the best parts of this movie?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:50

Uh no, it's because Trick loves the kids.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:52

Ooh, I don't know how I feel about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:54

What? Okay. No, Trick Daddy, the song Trick Loves the Kids. What? None of you have heard of Trick Daddy?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:00

I've heard of Trick Daddy, but I don't remember the lyrics like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:04

Oh my gosh. Which song is that? I am so disappointed. Trick Daddy is an artist from my neck of the woods in South Florida. I can't believe none of you know this song. But moving on. I'm having a medical attend. I'm having a medical condition I need to attend to.

unknown 1:24:26

What?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:27

I don't know. What gets you out of the middle of a haunted house? Like what do you say?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:32

I poop my pants.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:33

You just fall on the floor. Just okay, I'll just do that. Just leave. But you can't just leave a haunted house in the middle of it.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:43

There are exit doors all over the place.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:46

It's a well-marked door that you can just walk out of.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:48

They're legally required to do that.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:51

I do not pay attention. You also never been in one.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:55

But also it's like kind of scary to go through and I've never gone through it. Because like, what if it's a gag and there's somebody on the other side waiting?

SPEAKER_01 1:25:02

That's what I'm saying. Or like, what if this is the Abaddon Hotel and all of a sudden you think you're going through an exit, but you're not.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:10

Alexis, there are codes. There are codes.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:13

People get paid for this. I don't believe it. There are some sick people out there.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:17

Our capitalist society won't let a really well-running, haunted house for an entire season go wrong the one night you're there. Yeah, that is true.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:25

They're like, oh, Alexis is coming.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:27

Oh, let alright, guys. Big night. Alright, I know we've I know we've been a clean operation for the past 29 days, but fuck it. It's October 31st. Let's get this shit lit.

unknown 1:25:37

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:38

We're killing people tonight.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:40

Ray rehearsals, everyone. Take your places. This time with the blades in. No, Alexis, it's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:48

Maybe when you go through our next time, you can ask them what the safe word is up front.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:51

Yeah, I'm sure they're gonna fuck around with me and say some stupid shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:56

Could you imagine just Kiwi coming out from the hallway masking? I'm just like Kiwi, Kiwi, Kiwi, Kiwi. And they're like, what the fill me? What?

SPEAKER_03 1:26:07

Would love to see one of the characters in the haunted house just like take their mask off and go, dude, I don't know what's going on, but you could stop saying Kiwi, please.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:15

You're making my job even harder.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:19

That's like when the kid at school like has a list.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:21

Oh my gosh. Actually, my first girlfriend never had a list, and I was on it. Oh wow. Any yeah, I hope you ran. Yeah, I was on it. A number of celebrities were on it. The first the girl I did after her were on it was on it, and then a few teachers.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:36

Was that a smash list?

SPEAKER_00 1:26:37

No, it was actually like she described it as a hit list in her live journal. And somebody after we broke up and somebody found out, I showed the teacher where it was, she got expelled, and then also sent to like some c psychiatric care for years, and then I randomly ran into her one day in a mall, and it was uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:58

Wow. Chris, you could avoid all this if you just didn't break up with people and you're just like me and just let them break up with you.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:04

Or kill you.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:05

Oh no, no.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:06

She she stole my first kiss. It was not a good time.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:09

Oh no.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:10

Stole it. Stole my first kiss. I was a hopeless romantic who had big dreams of what my first kiss would be like, and then she asked to borrow a chapstick, and I handed it to her because I had just put some on, and then she just kissed it off of me instead. And it's just weird.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:23

I like that move, kind of, honestly.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:26

If it makes you feel any better, my first kiss was three girls that were like four grades higher than me. They like pushed me up against a brick wall and took turns kissing me. It was awful. Wait. And I was like, I'm definitely gay.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:37

I had I had a very similar situation, Paris. Oh my god, really? I was in, I want to say first grade, and but a group of girls ran after me around the playground and then tackled me and kissed all over me. And they called my parents, and my parents were like, Oh gosh, like what did our son do? And they were like, No, no. A group of girls tackled him to the ground and started kissing all over him, and they were like, Like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:01

It's because Mac had that voice. Because you're such a lady killer, Mac.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:05

I I I was I was in first grade, okay? So I was not in not in that mode. Boys will be boys.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:10

And that boy grew up to be football Mac. I seen on Patreon on our prom night episode supplement.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:17

Oh football Mac.