SPEAKER_09 0:07

Greetings and salutations and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Come on in and stay a while. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack, a total joke, a waste of time. Or a slash.

SPEAKER_03 0:24

Totally killer. Pun intended.

SPEAKER_09 0:26

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Mac, and I'm the Superfly Space Guy. This week I'm joined by the friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast Chris.

SPEAKER_03 0:41

This is weird and I don't like it at all.

SPEAKER_09 0:43

The gore lover Alexis.

SPEAKER_01 0:44

Are we in a backwards universe?

SPEAKER_03 0:46

I think so.

SPEAKER_09 0:46

The cowardly creeper Ryan.

SPEAKER_07 0:48

I'm tired of saying Haya, but now I'm committed to it.

SPEAKER_09 0:51

And the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_07 0:52

I have nothing.

SPEAKER_09 0:54

Welcome to our second hacker slash role-playing night in honor of our fourth birthday.

SPEAKER_07 0:58

Huzzah!

SPEAKER_05 1:00

Yes. How did this happen?

SPEAKER_07 1:02

For feels like a very long time. I've only ever done one thing longer.

SPEAKER_03 1:05

It's funny because it took four years for me to not introduce an episode. This feels weird. What an occasion.

SPEAKER_05 1:12

History in the making. Don't worry, it feels wrong for me too.

SPEAKER_01 1:15

You definitely sound like the VHS guy that said coming soon on the Disney VHS I used to listen to or watch.

SPEAKER_09 1:23

Coming soon to DVD and Blu-ray.

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Yeah, you sound just like that.

SPEAKER_09 1:27

Well, hackerslash crew, welcome to the Isle of Paisley.

SPEAKER_07 1:33

I'm sorry, what?

SPEAKER_09 1:34

While scrolling through endless posts on your favorite social media platform, you spotted an inviting photograph of a dark, rocky coast and the reflection of a golden hour sunlight on a murky tide. Within a day, you received a direct message from the official Isle of Paisley account inviting you to tour a tiny village on a small island off the coast of the state of Washington. You were sent a discount code for cheap airfare, a free ferry ride, and a weekend stay in a glamptastic yurt behind a historic mansion. The best of all, it's a weekend stay for singles. Arrive alone, leave together. Will you spend the weekend taking the cutest Instagram pics with strangers? Hashtag new BFF, or will you pad the body count on a cold, isolated corner of the Pacific Northwest? Let's find out. Before we dive in, let's talk about how to play the game. I am the game master. I narrate the story, but you decide how it plays out. If we enter a new unknown area, I'll describe the basics. You can help fill in sensory details like the flooring, the wall color, the smell of the air, or how something feels. You can describe this as your character or break character if you want to all come together to decide something about the world you're in. You will each, however, make your own decisions about your actions and tell everyone how you'd like to respond in each situation. If your action has an obvious and accepted consequence, it's automatically successful, like my time I choose. However, if it could affect your faith or how the story progresses, you'll roll one six-sided die. Depending on how the die lands, your action is either successful or it fails. To some degree. Roll a two, you're simply unsuccessful. And roll a one and you're unsuccessful with added unexpected or unwanted results.

SPEAKER_07 3:35

Are we all regular humans in the planet that don't have special powers?

SPEAKER_09 3:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Okay. Oh okay, so we do not have special powers.

SPEAKER_09 3:43

Nobody here is a superhero.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Okay, well, you said super successful, and I time travel if if willing.

SPEAKER_09 3:49

Doesn't work for this genre.

SPEAKER_07 3:51

Okay, just making sure, because I'm really into time travel.

SPEAKER_09 3:54

Alright. So you're on a small boat, the motor loudly whirring in the background. The water outside is choppy and violent, and there's a fog in the air that reeks of rotten eggs. The boat's captain was smiley, but quiet when he welcomed you on board, and he continues to peer off in the distance, his smile seemingly as wide as his entire face. His yellow raincoat nearly masks his entire being, but you can spot his bright white teeth each time he looks over his shoulder to check on the passengers. A tall man with dark hair, subtly kissed by gray highlights, twirls his mustache with one hand while he strokes his goatee with the other. He's seemingly lost in thought and only stops his grooming to adjust his hip, circular framed glasses and peer around at the other passengers. A petite older woman with perfectly primt blonde hair seems to be staring through the fog while she carefully purses her lips and clears her throat. As if waiting for someone to utter a single word, everyone looks. But the silence is only interrupted by the whirring of the motor and the sound of the water against the craft. A tall, slender young woman looks over at the goateed man and rolls her eyes as visibly as possible after the awkward silence was almost interrupted by the clearing of a throat. She swings one leg as it sits crossed over the other and adjusts her top to show somehow more cleavage than she truly has to all the other passengers. The man adjusts his glasses and looks away after being transfixed for a moment that seems to just last a little bit too long. He glances around and lands on the fingernails of a 5'4, tan-skinned, somewhat familiar-looking is she famous young woman who's using the downtime to carefully glide an emory board across each nail, perhaps more than once. The hypnotizing back and forth motion of the Emery board is interrupted by the sound of the captain's raspy, jovial voice.

SPEAKER_08 5:38

We're here. Now you all make sure to speak a bit more this weekend than you did the last half hour. I'm gonna have to play matchmaker on the return trip.

SPEAKER_09 5:46

He reaches out his hand to motion everyone toward the dock and steps with one foot to straddle the divide and assists each passenger to the safety of land.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

I hope I can use my bathing suits this weekend. This weather is kind of dreary.

SPEAKER_06 5:57

Mon Dieu, this smell is terrible.

SPEAKER_03 6:00

Oh, yeah, it's absolutely dreary indeed. And in fact, it's just a few nights ago, it was uh I believe once upon a midnight dreary. I pondered weak and weary about what hard wear for this trip, and I can assure you uh bathing suits were not part of the equation.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

I just thought we were going on an island, so I thought I would need all my bathing suits. I'm not sure. Love, have you been to the Pacific Northwest? Actually, I haven't. I'm from San Diego. It's not like this in San Diego. Same coast though. Different sides of the equator.

SPEAKER_06 6:29

No, my love, that is not true.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

Bonjour, mademoiselle.

SPEAKER_06 6:33

Hello, je m'appelle Veronica Veronica Blo, Sava. Oh, je ne comprends pas, je ne parle France. I'm very sorry, Monsieur.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

I'm so clueless. Can everyone speak English? Honey, we can speak plenty of English. I don't know what those words were. Same here, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_06 6:52

Ah désolé. I will practice my English while I am here on the island.

SPEAKER_03 6:56

I'm sorry, do you not know the hit classic by the Beatles Michelle? Michel Mabel. Son de Mochivantrebien? It's literally just a song lyric. Who are the Beatles? I'm really not sure. Oh no, no, no, no. I want to swipe left on this one.

SPEAKER_06 7:11

Honestly, where are our accommodations? It is very smelly and cold out here.

SPEAKER_08 7:15

I'm surprised Pip's not here yet. He usually likes to arrive quite early to make sure he can greet his guests. He must be late from all the obsessive cleaning he likes to do. Well, folks, I I'll be here Monday morning to take you back. Make sure to have some fun, be careful, and for the love of all that is good in this world, keep talking to each other. With that, the captain gets back in the boat and sails away.

SPEAKER_07 7:36

Is that our only exit?

SPEAKER_09 7:38

Yes it is. Okay. Oh no. You can only swim if if you can swim well enough.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

Swim where? Back to Washington?

SPEAKER_09 7:48

Alright, so you're all standing on this small wooden dock, large enough for only one boat to dock at a time, and up walks a man.

SPEAKER_03 7:56

What's the man wearing?

SPEAKER_09 7:57

The man is wearing a black polo shirt and a pair of black slacks and black leather shoes. He is approximately 60 to 70 years old with stark white hair.

SPEAKER_06 8:08

Ahway, maybe this man knows where we are going.

SPEAKER_09 8:11

Well, hey folks. I'm Pip.

SPEAKER_01 8:13

Hello, sir.

SPEAKER_09 8:14

Thank you all for joining us on this island.

SPEAKER_07 8:16

Oh, thank you for having us, honey.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Thanks. We're excited. We got these random text messages through our Instagram.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Oh, so they slid into your DMs as well.

SPEAKER_07 8:25

Now see, I'm not really sure what happened here. My friend's daughter put this app on my phone. And now I don't know what was going on, but they said Isle of Paisley, and I love some Paisley, honey. So I just had to tap in. I don't know where I'm at or what we're doing, but I'm here and I'm ready to mingle. I know. I'm so excited to be here. What about you guys? Honey, how old are you? Me? Yes, ma'am. Twenty-four. Okay, that'll be Miss Martha Lou when you speak to me. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

I mean, I thought we were all here for the same point, for the same purpose.

SPEAKER_07 8:58

Oh, we are, but you just have to respect your elders. What was your name? Cece. Cece. It's very nice to meet you. I'm glad you're here. You're a beautiful young lady. Thank you, Miss Martha. That was Martha Lou.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

Oh, the disrespect is palpable here.

SPEAKER_09 9:11

Well, I think it's great that you've all had a chance to greet each other. I'm really excited you're here too. You know, I'm not really uh good with all this newfangled technology stuff, so somebody got me signed up for this uh Instagram service, and I just thought it would be a great way to get people here and and you know, get some people to the island, generate some revenue. I've got these yurts set up, and they're gonna be behind this big old mansion back here on the on the far side of the island. Um we can't really use the mansion right now, it's kind of dilapidated, hasn't really been kept up. Um, but the yurts, they'll be they'll be perfect. We've got them all set up just how each of you would like them.

SPEAKER_07 9:49

I'm sorry, so did you also get here through an app on your phone? I think he back in Doslov. I think he used the application to summon us here. But who brought him here? That's what I need to understand right now.

SPEAKER_03 10:01

I think he owns here.

SPEAKER_06 10:03

I believe this gentleman works here. However, I have a question. I was under the impression that we were doing a wellness retreat with yoga and meditation.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

I didn't get that memo. I thought this was a party.

SPEAKER_09 10:15

I think there's plenty of room on the island for you to do yoga and you can meditate everywhere. Literally, look, there's the rocky shores and the rocky fields. There's a lot of rocks here, by the way. I hope you didn't bring cell phones because the metal in these rocks is gonna block any chance of getting a signal. But that that's okay, because it will have the ferry back Monday, so no worries. You can do with a weekend of not talking to people. I've been doing it my whole life here. Um yeah, I don't as I said, I'm not good with the technology stuff. There's no Wi-Fi here.

SPEAKER_06 10:49

What?

SPEAKER_09 10:49

Then how did you summon us all here via Instagram? Every couple weeks I take a trip, you know, to the mainland. And I I go to the local coffee shop there, and the guy hooks me up on the phone thing, and I send out the invitations.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Oh how long does it take you to get to the mainland?

SPEAKER_09 11:07

Well, you know, on the trip here is pretty fast, right? It took you guys about a half hour. Um going back, it's about a half hour, and then it's about a two-hour ride into town. Um, and then once I'm in town, I get the bus. So, all in all, I'm back within a day or two.

SPEAKER_07 11:24

Well, I brought some dominoes if y'all are interested. I can keep us entertained.

SPEAKER_03 11:28

Oh, I absolutely love dominoes, and I I quite think that a little time away from the rest of the world would be really good for my work.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

I totally agree. Do any of you drink by chance? But of course. Uh the Lady Whiskey and I, we're very good friends.

SPEAKER_07 11:42

What is everyone's favorite drink of choice?

SPEAKER_01 11:44

You know, I'm a gin girl. Gin and tonic or just straight gin? Oh, a gin martini for me. Sounds about right. Ooh. Sorry, I'm not trying to be creepy or anything. It's just I'm a bartender at night and a student during the day. So I kind of know my drinks a little bit. I'm a little mixologist. Oh, C C I think we can be great friends. Oh, great. If you like alcohol, we'll get along.

SPEAKER_09 12:07

I did see that in your profile. I thought that was pretty cool. I mean, marine biology, we're on the water, you know. There's I don't think there's a lot of fish around here, but probably if you go further south, you can get there.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

I'm sure there's whales and stuff in Seattle. It's cold up here.

SPEAKER_09 12:22

Well, we're a bit we're kind of far away from Seattle. And honestly, we're kind of a far away from we're we're far from everything over here, and I haven't seen much wildlife in the area either. It's just pretty desolate.

SPEAKER_01 12:36

That's really interesting.

SPEAKER_06 12:37

To answer your question, Mademoiselle Marthalou, I prefer champagne myself. I hope we have plenty inside of my yurt.

SPEAKER_09 12:44

Where are these yurts? Okay, so we're gonna have to take a little bit of a hike across the island, and then when we get to the back of the island, we'll get to your yurts. We're gonna pass through town. It's it's a small village here, and then we'll we'll go around the mansion and get to your yurts. But I I promise you, all in good time we have all weekend long. Just enjoy this fresh sea air. But the smell is of rotten eggs. Well, you know, sometimes that just swings through here, but I'm sure it'll be gone.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

It's just the maritime haze that happens on the coastline.

SPEAKER_06 13:14

Uh yes, because you study these things at this incredible.

SPEAKER_01 13:17

Yeah, it's almost like um pollution, so it wears away. It's kind of like uh condensation a little bit. Does it wear away? Do we just get more used to it? No, it wears away for sure. But it definitely does start out during the day, but wears away. Or do we just get nose blind?

SPEAKER_05 13:33

Alexis' fake science is gonna be amazing for this entire episode.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

That was actually real.

SPEAKER_05 13:38

Perfect, as far as I'm concerned, it is.

SPEAKER_03 13:40

I mean, to go back to that question, I absolutely love that you love champagne because my favorite drink was invented by the fine uh Ernest Hemingway. It's called Death in the Afternoon. It's a little bit of a mix of champagne and absinthe. Delicious. That's kinda hot.

SPEAKER_07 13:56

Oh, honey, that is so poetic.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

What was your name, handsome? My name is Regan. Regan? Yes, and with me, poetry has not been a purpose but a passion.

SPEAKER_06 14:07

Oh, how romantique.

SPEAKER_07 14:08

Well, it has been your pleasure to meet me. The pleasure's all mine, madam. Yes, and I was Martha Lou. Madame Martha Lou, yes, of course. Well, I'm glad we're all here together on the Isle of Paisley.

SPEAKER_09 14:20

Now, I hope you've all had a chance to get to know each other. You know, by the way, my name is Pip. That's short for Phillip, but that's just what I go by. Um now let me see if I can pick you out from your profiles. I I think I should be able to. Uh let's see. Uh you're Veronica, is that right? Yes, that is me. And uh you must be you must be Regan.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Oh, yeah, it's Regan, but yeah, that's fine.

SPEAKER_09 14:41

Reagan, that's what I said. Perfect.

SPEAKER_03 14:43

And No, uh sir, no, I'm sorry. What is in a name? You know it's very important that you're treating me with the level of respect that I would give you, Philip. It's Regan.

SPEAKER_09 14:54

Oh, you can just call me Pip. That's okay. Um but it is it is nice to meet you, Regan. Excellent. All right, so that's gonna make you uh the you know, this I I I'll be honest. When I invited everyone for a singles weekend, I thought I was mostly gonna get people in their twenties and maybe their thirties. Madam, oh my, it is a pleasure to meet you. Martha Lou, right?

SPEAKER_07 15:16

Yes, and sweetheart, it sure is your pleasure to have me here.

SPEAKER_09 15:19

Yeah, that's that's what I said. Okay, so this must make you uh Camila Kiki, is that right?

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Uh Cece.

SPEAKER_09 15:27

Oh, Cece. Okay, great. It's nice to finally meet all of you. I hope you all get to know each other really well over the next couple days. That's why we're doing this little thing. Bring some single people out, you make a new friend, maybe something more. Maybe you leave together. I'm not to say. I'm just glad to I got to I got to invite you all here for the experience.

SPEAKER_03 15:46

Oh, you're really excited about this, aren't you? I can Is it is this your first trip?

SPEAKER_09 15:50

This um, you know, this is the first time we've done it like this. We finally got the yurt set up. We've had people come and stay with us before, but this is the first time we've got it set up for a little bit of glamping.

SPEAKER_03 15:59

I didn't notice any reviews. Are they still here?

SPEAKER_09 16:03

No, people have come and people have gone. We we have a couple people that live here in the village with us, you know. They they they stay here, their families are from here, uh, but it's very few people at at this point. Most everybody has has left long ago.

SPEAKER_01 16:16

What is uh few? What's the population here?

SPEAKER_09 16:19

Oh goodness, incl including me, maybe four or five of us remaining.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Wow, that's that sounds right up my alley, honestly. Uh the burden of humanity has been really weighing heavily on my soul, and I could give it a nice little intimate gathering.

SPEAKER_06 16:33

But how will we find love on an island so scarce?

SPEAKER_03 16:37

I think we can love with a love that is more than love, and I think that we can find that here with each other if we need.

SPEAKER_06 16:42

Oh, how beautiful.

SPEAKER_07 16:43

Honey, what are you on about?

SPEAKER_06 16:45

I actually would like to get to know everyone a little bit more. If you could all share with me your zodiac signs, I am somewhat of a clairvoyant.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

Yeah, sure, absolutely. I I I happen to be an Aquarius.

SPEAKER_06 16:57

Oh how bizarre. Aquariuses are notably aloof.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

And I'm a cancer.

SPEAKER_06 17:01

Oh CC, cancer is a very powerful sign. You control an entire tropic on the planet. The tropic of cancer.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

I love that joke. You you have an awesome sense of humor. I I think she's quite serious, love.

SPEAKER_06 17:13

Uh, I love that with no s that was not a joke. I take my gifts and my powers very seriously. And what about you, Mademoiselle Martha Lou?

SPEAKER_07 17:20

Now, honey, I'm I'm not sure about all that sign stuff. My birthday is April twenty second. That's all I know. You can tell me more about me than I know.

SPEAKER_06 17:31

Oh fantastique. This makes you a Taurus. You are very strong willed and you have an appetite for luxury.

SPEAKER_07 17:37

Oh yes, I do, baby. But what about you?

SPEAKER_06 17:40

Ah yes, myself I am a Scorpio. We sometimes have a bad reputation for being quite venomous. However, this is only if you are deserving of our sting.

SPEAKER_07 17:49

Now that that voodoo don't have a place here. We don't need to judge people based on the date they were born.

SPEAKER_06 17:55

Absolutely not. I would never judge you for those things. Only the shoes you are wearing.

SPEAKER_07 17:59

Well, I'm good to go, honey.

SPEAKER_06 18:01

Yes, you are. Those are Loubitons.

SPEAKER_09 18:03

Well, you know, if we still had the Reverend here, he would probably say something about not praying to the stars. You know, he was always going on about that. There's only the one. There's only the one you can pray to, and you can't you can't believe in all that stuff.

SPEAKER_03 18:18

I'm sorry, the Reverend of what kind of religion?

SPEAKER_09 18:20

Oh, he's just the good Reverend. Come on. We all know he talks about, you know, you only pray to the one.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Which one, though? Yeah, who is the one?

SPEAKER_09 18:28

Well, he's kind of unknowable, right? I think we've all heard about him. You know, the beard, he was old and skinny and said good things, do things. Basically, don't be a jerk is what he said. I'm not very religious, but I loved listening to the Reverend.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Oh, you must be talking about Gandalf.

SPEAKER_03 18:47

Gandalf, yeah. Now that's something I can get behind. Because listen here, friend, all religion, my friend, is simply evolved out of fraud, fear, greed, imagination, and poetry. And I'm not here for it. If this is some kind of mission trip or or conversion camp, count me out right now, sir.

SPEAKER_09 19:05

Oh, definitely not. As I said, I'm not a religious person. You know, we grew up with it when we were kids here, but when everyone kind of left, that left with them.

SPEAKER_07 19:15

May I ask a question? This reverend that you speak of, when did he reside?

SPEAKER_09 19:20

It's been a couple decades now. I mean, I think the last time he was here, goodness, that would have been the sixties or seventies. So we the island's kind of been without a preacher for a long time.

SPEAKER_07 19:31

Oh, honey, we done been signed up for a cult.

SPEAKER_06 19:33

Oh no. Monotheism is Velier Western.

SPEAKER_07 19:36

Miss Martha Lou, where do you get that from? Now, who do you know that calls themself the Reverend that's been here within the past decades? Now, if you want to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, we can talk about that. But what we're not gonna do is be here talking about some man that was on earth, skinny man with a beard thirty years ago.

SPEAKER_09 19:56

No, he no, the the Reverend was here. Not the one, the one was here a millennia ago. It was a long time ago. I think we can all agree with you know about that.

SPEAKER_06 20:05

I think you worship the same god, madame.

SPEAKER_07 20:07

Oh no, I don't think we do.

SPEAKER_09 20:09

Okay, we have a little bit of the island to tour. I'm gonna leave it up to you. You can you're welcome to look around. It's kind of mostly just a small village, but um you know we really should get you back to your yurts, so at least you can put those bags away.

SPEAKER_01 20:22

Can we get a guided tour?

SPEAKER_09 20:24

Well, I I I will be happy. I have to take an afternoon nap pretty soon here. So let's walk through. I'll point out where things are, right, and we'll get you to the yurts. You can explore after that. Pip waves for all of you to follow him. As you start to walk up this suddenly inclining island, it seems like you know, every step you take is a thousand pounds added to your back. Walking through, you see mostly grey. Everything seems kind of either grey or black. The ground is like gravel or rocks. There's not a lot of grass, or if you know, if any, seems like this whole thing is just a big metal blob. And as you walk up the island, he leads you into an opening about the size of a football field, a gravel football field, with a couple buildings surrounding it.

SPEAKER_07 21:10

I'm sorry, did you say a uh big metal blob?

SPEAKER_09 21:14

That's what it seems like, because it's all rocks and metallic.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

The island is.

SPEAKER_09 21:18

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 21:18

Okay. There's no grass.

SPEAKER_06 21:20

But not squishy like a blob.

SPEAKER_03 21:22

You know, I feel like I've seen a little spot like this before. And it was, I think in this movie, Jaws 2, they made like an island, but it was just an electrical barge, and the whole island was made out of trash. I think we're on that island right now. I've never seen such mac metallic rocks in my life.

SPEAKER_09 21:42

I I think somebody tried to come and investigate and try to explain it. They don't know. The earth is a magnificent thing, and the rocks just ended up here. And so, yeah, it's not as green as the mainland, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

So, where do you get all your sustenance, like your fruits, your vegetables, if you can't grow them on the island?

SPEAKER_09 22:00

Well I was gonna lead you right to that. Right up here, we've got the general store. That's where you get all your stuff. So at the general store we've got our medicines, we've got things like toothbrushes and toothpaste, and all your snacks and goodies and food that you might need to eat. Yeah, it's not five course dining, but it it'll get the job done.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

Oh, so everything's imported.

SPEAKER_09 22:19

Well, you know, and imported from wherever it's made in in the actual mainland of the US, but you know, it's not like it's from China or anything.

SPEAKER_06 22:28

I have a feeling this place will be a very useful resource to us in the future.

SPEAKER_01 22:32

I agree. I just thought Miss Martha Liu would be making some um homemade biscuits while she was here. She seems like a biscuit type of gal.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

Love, I think she's here for a retreat, not to do more work.

SPEAKER_06 22:44

I hope we have a different cook.

SPEAKER_07 22:46

Now, sweetheart, I am a woman of class.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

I don't cook for myself. That is what I hire people for. Same. I don't hire people though. It's just hungry man.

SPEAKER_03 22:55

Oh, I thought it was more like you seem more like an Uber Eats kind of gal.

SPEAKER_01 22:59

Yeah, I am. I love my sushi. San Diego has a bunch of awesome sushi. Super fresh, but you know what? I'm just a starving college student, so sometimes you gotta go for the TV dinners.

SPEAKER_07 23:11

Oh honey, you need to marry a man that has a lot of money, because that's a solution to Can we not talk about men right now?

SPEAKER_06 23:18

Wait, Mademoiselle Marthalou, are you married on a singles retreat?

SPEAKER_07 23:23

Well, I once had this incredible husband, his name was George. He was the love of my life. And unfortunately I lost him a few years ago. And since then I haven't been able to find anyone that can replace my lovely George.

SPEAKER_06 23:38

Oh Monsherie, I am so sorry to hear this. However, it explains the energy I saw with you when you arrived on the boat. Your husband is still with you, and he wants you to know that he supports your decision to come to this island.

SPEAKER_07 23:51

Well, most importantly, his money is still with me, and that's what carries me through.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

I absolutely love to hear that that George is still with her, and I believe you 100% as a Claire Varrant, I respect your art.

SPEAKER_06 24:02

Merci beaucoup.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

You know, I find that I often ponder what happens to us when we when we go, right, when we move on, and I find that the boundaries which divide life from death are best shadowy and vague, you know, like who shall say where the one ends and where the other begins? I'm I find great peace that your George is still with you. Oh wow as you look to hook up with another man.

SPEAKER_07 24:25

Oh honey, the truth of the matter is all we do is leave a bunch of stuff behind that somebody has to clean out of a damn garage when you're gone. So maybe you should collect less things and remember to spend time with people that mean something to you.

SPEAKER_09 24:38

Oh, I I couldn't agree more. I absolutely I'm sorry to butt into your conversation. I know you're bonding and getting to know each other a bit better, but I think we own too much these days. We hold on to the material and we should let go.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

It's very interesting. I mean, y your island seems to have let go of a lot.

SPEAKER_09 24:58

I have to say that I agree. We've lost a lot over the last hundred years or so, I guess you could say. Um the the manor here was built quite a long time ago, and Gerald and Edith Dagon used to live in the manor, thusly named Dagon Manor.

SPEAKER_05 25:14

Not Dagon.

SPEAKER_09 25:15

And they used to live there and they were happy, and I mean they even said that when they first built the manor, there was greengrass on this island. But over the years, I don't know why, things just kind of shriveled up and died, and now we just have to get everything from the mainland. And that's why here's our town center, and it's really just uh, you know, a kind of a field of gravel. And I I wish one day we could see it look like it used to.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

Pip, but why are s there's still people here? I don't understand why they just wouldn't there's four of you. You easily can start your own town in Seattle. I think they brought us here to populate.

SPEAKER_09 25:49

I'm sure we could probably leave, and a lot of people have over the years. You know, most of the people that that worked at the manor, they left, but a couple people are still hanging around. It it does hold some kind of appeal. I don't know why. I just can't leave myself.

SPEAKER_03 26:02

I feel like this place has a lot of secrets. What do you say, sir?

SPEAKER_06 26:07

I think I'm getting the same vibration. Reagan, was it?

SPEAKER_03 26:10

Yes. I mean uh Regan, but it's fine. I know with accents it can be a little bit troubling.

SPEAKER_06 26:16

Yes, thank you for understanding. However, I do not understand why we are not now in our yet at this point. We have been waiting a very long time.

SPEAKER_09 26:23

Well, look, here on the island, we got nothing but time. So I I know you're in a rush, you want to lay down after your long travels. Let me just point out everything here in town center, and then we can keep going. So over here on the left, that's the old church. If you keep going past it, you're gonna get to the cliffside. So be really careful because right behind the old church is the cemetery, right behind the cemetery is, well, it's a drop that'll get you into the cemetery, if you know what I mean. So be very careful going back there. Um so up here in front of us, that's gonna be the general store. Right next to it, we've got the bookstore. I know it's kind of crazy that we have a general store and a bookstore. We're we're getting there. And then over here on the right side, well, that's the doctor's office. Um, we used to have an old doctor around for a while. Now it's just kind of well, his his kid is still here, but if you need something, maybe a band-aid, we can probably get that from there.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

So someone's hurt, what do you do?

SPEAKER_09 27:15

Well, there's only a few of us, so we just take care of ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Do you have a doctor?

SPEAKER_09 27:19

We we do have a doctor. The doctor's back for just a moment. He's you know sorting things out. But um if you do need something, if you know you scratch your knee or something, I'm sure we can get you a little medical care while we have a doctor.

SPEAKER_03 27:31

I have a question, a really important question. What kind of books are in this bookstore?

SPEAKER_09 27:35

They're mostly old books. I mean, they're they're pretty old books. I just mean that they're pretty dusty and no one's picked them up in a while. We we do have you know the bookshop owner in there, but I don't think anyone actually goes to buy a book.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

Who's the bookshop owner and is she single?

SPEAKER_09 27:50

Well, the bookshop owner is a he. First of all, it's it's old Pete Blackburn.

SPEAKER_03 27:54

Oh, old Pete Blackburn.

SPEAKER_05 27:57

Not mad about the he, just the old.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Are there any people here that are younger than 40? Just you love. Besides us.

SPEAKER_09 28:06

Well well, sure. We've got Billy. Billy's I don't know, she's 25, maybe?

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Hello.

SPEAKER_09 28:13

Okay. Well, you know, we've seen the tour. Let's go ahead and move past here, and we'll get you past the mansion to your yurts. Pip walks you across this football field-sized pit of gravel, really, and up a hill, and there it is. This beautiful mansion, except aged and weathered. It was once beautiful, you can tell, but now it looks like, well, nobody's cared about it for about fifty years. You walk around, there's a path that leads you around the right side of the manor, and behind it, four beautiful brand new yurts.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

Is there any shrubbery outside of this mansion?

SPEAKER_09 28:49

Not really. There's not much vegetation.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

There's not many trees on this island at all, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_09 28:54

Definitely not.

SPEAKER_01 28:55

Okay. It's literally all gravel. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 28:57

Alors, the yurts are magnifique.

SPEAKER_09 28:59

I'm I'm glad you like 'em. And this one here, Veronica, this is yours. This is the first one up.

SPEAKER_06 29:04

Oh, merci beaucoup, monsieur. Your time and patience has been very awarded. Thank you so much. If you don't mind everyone, I will be residing to my yurt and making myself come to Berlin home.

SPEAKER_09 29:14

Veronica walks into her yurt. Please describe your yurt, Veronica.

SPEAKER_06 29:21

My yurt is filled with essential oils, aromatherapy candles, and as I enter it, I see a large sounding bowl that I gently caress with my gorgeous, not unlike a hand model hand. A sound resonates throughout the yurt, and I withdraw sage from my small Chanel purse and begin cleansing the space.

SPEAKER_09 29:44

Do you all hear something that's kind of like a whistle?

SPEAKER_01 29:46

Sounds like the wind.

SPEAKER_09 29:47

I I'm I'm not certain, but I think it's coming from in there. I hope she's using the sounding pole that I that I left in there for her. I wanted this day to be special, and that means the next one up here, Martha Lou, this is yours, madam.

SPEAKER_07 30:03

Oh, thank you so much, honey. I can't wait to lie down.

SPEAKER_09 30:06

Martha Lou walks into her yurt, yearning relaxation. Tell us about it, Martha.

SPEAKER_07 30:12

Well, my yurt would be filled with comfortable places to sit. A television with kind of yurt is this?

SPEAKER_05 30:20

Taurus's love comfort. This is on brand.

SPEAKER_07 30:23

Television with old James Bond movies playing.

SPEAKER_05 30:27

On VHS.

SPEAKER_07 30:28

On VHS. And a fridge full of gin, a little bit of vermouth, maybe some olives, some fig newtons for snacking. And there would be one perfect serving for each day of sweet potato casserole.

SPEAKER_09 30:46

No, I want that.

SPEAKER_07 30:47

Exactly.

SPEAKER_09 30:48

Okay, so next up here, Regan, this is yours, my man. Hop on in there.

SPEAKER_03 30:53

Oh, lovely. Thanks. I'll see you later.

SPEAKER_09 30:56

Regan heads into the yurt. Describe it.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

So in this yurt, there is a cot, like the foldable cot. It's like olive green in color. There is a fine leather chair and a bookcase filled with tons of classic literature. There is also a desk, a writer's desk with a typewriter. There's also a hefty collection of vinyls that's like in the back portion and is already playing some classic Frank Sinatra.

SPEAKER_09 31:24

Very nice. Okay, so that leaves just you, Cece. Now, this is obviously your yurt, but if you want, you can go ahead and head to one of your favorite people's yurts instead.

SPEAKER_01 31:34

I think I want to relax for a second.

SPEAKER_09 31:36

Okay, well, this is just the first night, so you can go on and head on in. Cece heads in. What does she see?

SPEAKER_01 31:42

Really trying to typecast CeCe, isn't he? The comfiest bed ever with all of the pillows. Um, also a hammock with a whole bunch of books next to it. And thank you for bringing all my study materials. I was looking forward to that on vacation. Also, um, some IPAs.

SPEAKER_05 32:01

I have to say everyone has done an exceedingly impressive job in describing their yurds based on their zodiac signs.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

Did I nail Aquarius? I hope I nailed Aquarius.

SPEAKER_05 32:11

You did. They're so eclectic. I'm gonna drop in the group chat a picture of the map I've drawn for us thus far. It's absolutely horrible. This task should have been assigned to Ryan.

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Don't forget that basketball travel field. Yeah, very specific football field.

SPEAKER_09 32:27

I'm just giving you a size. As the singles get settled into their yurts and find things that they love somehow provided to them. The power of social media, I'm telling ya. Well, they hear sound. It's the wind at first. A soft blowing wind that turns into a whistle that somehow cools down and becomes a low rumbling sound. Like a growl from the ground.

SPEAKER_01 32:55

Now, what is that sound outside my door? I wanna go see if Regan hears this. Knock knock.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Oh, yes. Uh hello, sorry. I I was just listening to some Frank's in Ultra. What can I help you with, love? It sounded like BBC radio, though. I didn't know we could get radio signals out here. Oh no, love. It's these are vinyls. Have you ever listened to a vinyl record? No, I don't even know what a vinyl is. Maybe you can step inside and I can teach you.

SPEAKER_01 33:24

No, I came over here to see what the sound was. Did you not hear the sound?

SPEAKER_03 33:27

I'm sorry, love, no, I missed it. Do you want to describe it for me? It was like a mmm. Oh. It might have been Dean Martin and the rest of the rat pack on that last track.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Sounded like S Club 7, in my opinion, but it's okay. Oh, love, no, what?

SPEAKER_05 33:42

Veronica suddenly enters the yurt.

SPEAKER_06 33:45

Oh, hello. Excusez-moi, I pardon my interruption. However, did you hear that horrible sound just a moment ago? It sounded like the earth crumbling beneath us.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

I'm gonna look outside. I'm gonna like walk outside of my yurt and look around and see. I'd like to know if I see anything um that looks crumbly.

SPEAKER_09 34:04

You see no crumbling, no cookies. However, you see the effect of the wind on the rocks on the ground.

SPEAKER_03 34:11

Is that effect mean that they're moving?

SPEAKER_09 34:12

Like the wind is blowing the rock. The wind is moving the rocks. You can see them shaking if they're large, you can see them tumbling if they're small.

SPEAKER_07 34:19

I would like to walk outside of my yurt and also see Regan outside looking for the sound.

SPEAKER_09 34:25

You do that and you see Regan looking for the sound.

SPEAKER_03 34:27

Madame Martha Lou, do you feel this rumbling beneath our feet? It's like the it's like hell itself is opening up and about to swallow us all. Sugar, it woke me right up out of my sleep. Oh, you know, Madame Martha Lou, where parts are you from?

SPEAKER_07 34:42

Well, I'm just a sweet lady from the south. That's all I need to tell you.

SPEAKER_03 34:46

Alright, no, totally respect the privacy there, right? Like yuck boundaries, I get it. Keep those walls right up, madam. But I do have a question because you seem like a southern bell. Is this like a moment where y'all would say, what intarnations?

SPEAKER_06 35:01

I guess I was wondering it's the same scene.

SPEAKER_07 35:03

Honey, you're inside. What are you doing in this conversation?

SPEAKER_05 35:08

Oh, that's true. I am in the yard.

SPEAKER_07 35:10

Now, I'm not sure if you mean a bit of slight by that, but I do wonder what in the tarnation that noise was.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

No disrespect at all, madam. I'm just trying to be a better citizen of the world.

SPEAKER_07 35:22

But don't you think certainly those rocks flying across the ground couldn't have been enough to make that noise that woke me up?

SPEAKER_03 35:30

I I didn't I myself didn't hear the noise, so I can't really speak to that experience. Um ladies, excuse me, do you want to come out here? It seems like Madame Martha Lou also heard what you the ruckets you were all mentioning.

SPEAKER_05 35:41

So we exit the yurt and I see the rocks being blown by the gusts, and obviously I I grab my hat so it doesn't get lost if it is a periwinkle blue beret, and I also have a short brown bob that is slightly angled and quite sharp and recently cut, and I say, Mon Dieu, this wind is terrible.

SPEAKER_06 36:00

What is going on?

SPEAKER_07 36:01

Honey, that's wind. It blows sometimes. You really just gotta go with it. Either it comes or it goes, but it's just wind. That's what the Lord put here on this earth.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

Miss Martha Lou, it is a little bit different than that. When we are on the coast of Washington, there are two concurrent winds coming through, and it causes deep vibrations in the land.

SPEAKER_07 36:27

But concurrent is the right thing to say.

SPEAKER_05 36:30

Concurrent winds. It's legitimate.

SPEAKER_06 36:34

My last name is Blow, but this wind is not natural.

SPEAKER_03 36:38

That's what she said. No, concurrent winds. Absolutely totally get it. And I concur with that thought. So how about this? How about we all huddle up safe and maybe we can, you know, explore some different types of vibrations in my yet.

SPEAKER_06 36:50

I think you're coming out a little too strong. Are you r recommending a menager to menage à cartes in this case?

SPEAKER_03 36:57

No, not at all, madam. Because I'm I'm recovering from a heartbreak. But I mean the vibrations of sound coming from these vinyls Sweetheart, we all knew what you meant.

SPEAKER_07 37:07

You can't handle what we've got, so you better calm down this night. I'm only down if we play some um Brittany Spears? I don't know. Spice girls? I think we ought to go look for Pip and see if he's got an explanation for what's going on around here.

SPEAKER_06 37:20

Well, Monsieur Pip, I have a lot to complain about him, First. This is not what I was promised on Instagram.

SPEAKER_07 37:25

Well, it was an internet ad, so it is a bit of your fault, not ours.

SPEAKER_09 37:30

The singles decide to set out and find Pip, but they don't know where to look. They only know what they've seen so far. So where do you go?

SPEAKER_03 37:36

I think we should go up to the mansion.

SPEAKER_01 37:39

I feel like we should go into town. Wouldn't he be somewhere in town? Why would he be in a dusty old mansion?

SPEAKER_06 37:46

Why don't we ask the men that works at the bookstore? Perhaps he has understanding of the phenomenon on this island.

SPEAKER_04 37:52

What time is it?

SPEAKER_09 37:52

It is afternoon, late afternoon.

SPEAKER_04 37:55

Oh, I thought this was like at night. Yeah, I thought this was at night, too.

SPEAKER_09 37:59

I might have said that it was at night. It's been a long morning. But this is the golden hour right now.

SPEAKER_07 38:04

Sure, what we were advertised on Instagram. Got it. Well, I think it's a good idea. We go search. I mean, if only four people live on this island, it would be very difficult for them to hide from us. We could ask old man Blackburn in the bookstore.

SPEAKER_06 38:17

Yes, the island is not very large. It shouldn't take too long.

SPEAKER_09 38:20

Okay, so we have let's get this straight. We've got two for the bookstore. One for the mansion.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

We can go to the bookstore.

SPEAKER_09 38:26

We should all go together.

SPEAKER_02 38:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 38:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 38:30

I don't think now is the time to split up.

SPEAKER_09 38:32

Do you all want to decide together to go or do you want to roll?

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Roll. We're all rolling.

SPEAKER_09 38:36

Let us roll. And we're gonna say one to three, we're gonna head to the mansion. Four to six, you're gonna head to the bookstore. Alright, we roll to two, we're headed towards the mansion.

SPEAKER_06 38:46

I suppose we could go examine the mansion. I don't know why this mansion will provide answers to our questions, however, I did get an extremely powerful vibration from here, so I suppose it is important that we look into it.

SPEAKER_01 38:58

I think you might be a witch.

SPEAKER_06 39:00

Madame, please, I am not a witch. We are all gifted with the power of intuition. If you are able to channel your power and embrace it, you too can have my gift.

SPEAKER_01 39:10

Alright, I really do appreciate that. So you feel like we're going to a good spot?

SPEAKER_06 39:14

Good, not necessarily. We shall see.

SPEAKER_03 39:16

I didn't notice that he pointed out his home when we were looking around town. So I think we just swing by. See if anyone happens to be in there, and if not, we can just you know move on.

SPEAKER_06 39:26

Regan, you bring up an excellent point. Where does anyone live on this island?

SPEAKER_03 39:30

Precisely, all I remember hearing was the cemetery, the general store, the bookstore, vague other town things, the mansion in the Nayut, so don't forget the ominous church. Yes, the ominous church, yeah. I think there's some really some dots that we need connect in here, so I think we go to the mansion. Maybe they're like setting it up as an Airbnb situation.

SPEAKER_09 39:53

The singles walk towards the mansion, look around the corner, see no openings. There's windows, but they're boarded up. They walk around to the very front, there's a single door in the middle of the house.

SPEAKER_07 40:04

I would like to try to open the door.

SPEAKER_09 40:06

Okay, let's see if you can roll for it. What did you get?

SPEAKER_07 40:10

A three.

SPEAKER_09 40:10

You attempt to open the door. You jiggle the handle, and nothing opens. You pull, nothing happens. But as you attempt to, you hear a voice in the background, distantly, somewhere across the island.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

I think we should chase after that no that sound. Maybe it's Pip. He's being hurt.

SPEAKER_05 40:29

We all turn around.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Now, honey, what did you hear? Did you not hear that?

SPEAKER_07 40:33

Sound like someone's yelling. Oh, I didn't hear. I I just tried the door and it didn't open, so I don't know if this is the right place for us to be.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

You definitely didn't hear anything because there was a loud squeaky sound coming from the doorknob. Well, honey, as good as I look, my hearing ain't as good as it used to be.

SPEAKER_05 40:50

Veronica turns around to see who it is that's screaming or making a sound.

SPEAKER_09 40:55

Veronica turns around and looks out and sees somebody moving somewhere near the doctor's office.

SPEAKER_06 41:02

Everyone look! It appears there's someone over there by the doctor's office. Perhaps we should abandon our mansion examination and checks this out so we can find some help.

SPEAKER_03 41:11

I don't know how I feel about it. I'm getting kinda scared.

SPEAKER_04 41:13

I mean the people in that direction we're going, I think we'll be alright.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Yeah, but they're i isn't that weird to you that only four people live on this island and none of them have a house.

SPEAKER_07 41:23

Now, certainly they have a home somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

We just haven't found it, honey. You can see the other side of the island.

SPEAKER_06 41:30

Some of the most expensive and luxurious islands are completely unpopulated, my love.

SPEAKER_03 41:34

Hmm, and it's also a possibility that they live underground or really under rock.

SPEAKER_06 41:40

Like mole people?

SPEAKER_03 41:41

Perhaps. Most like basement dwellers.

SPEAKER_06 41:44

Fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 41:45

Alright, let's go to the doctor's office then.

SPEAKER_09 41:47

The singles head down towards the doctor's office. No movement anywhere in the town. As they approach, still nothing. There doesn't seem to be anybody inside. Yet still they enter. Inside, what they find is a tiny, tiny waiting room and a single receptionist desk, and the pungent smell of mothballs.

SPEAKER_06 42:09

Oh mon Dieu, this smell is terrible. What is with the terrible smells on this island?

SPEAKER_03 42:14

Hmm, I don't rightly know. It does smell pretty pungent. I'm sorry, didn't you say you saw someone down here?

SPEAKER_06 42:19

I swear I saw someone and then they were beckoning us to come by. And then Veronica withdraws some Chanel number five from her purse and starts spraying the air around the room.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

I'm sorry, how uh real did this person seem? Did it seem like a distant figure or did it seem like some flesh and bone?

SPEAKER_06 42:36

I don't know if it was a very far distance. You are lucky I was able to see them from so far away with this howling wind.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

Should we check out the back?

SPEAKER_09 42:43

You head towards the back door. There's only one door, because it is a tiny little waiting area, and you go to unlock it and open the door, and the door handle turns, and the door opens. You see a man in his late forties wearing a lab coat, sitting at a desk, staring at you as you enter.

SPEAKER_03 43:00

Oh, this is awkward. Didn't really expect someone would actually be here.

SPEAKER_07 43:05

Oh, hello, honey. We have been looking for somebody. There is this terrible noise outside, and we're just looking for an explanation.

SPEAKER_09 43:12

I I am sorry. Uh who is it that you're looking for?

SPEAKER_07 43:15

Well, depends on who you are. Are you the doctor here?

SPEAKER_09 43:18

Uh, for now. You know, I actually moved out a couple years ago, but I came back to kind of wrap up my affairs and close down this office.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Why'd you leave?

SPEAKER_09 43:28

To be honest, I was never really content with the whole small town life thing, and I just wanted to like go out and and and start start a life of my own, somewhere else, somewhere new, somewhere exciting. And I did, you know, I went to LA and my life as a surgeon has been great. I'm I'm into plastic surgery and I make a lot of money, but really I just had this lingering feeling that I needed to wrap things up here and sever the tie completely before I could move on.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

Why would you want to leave this place if you grew up here?

SPEAKER_09 43:56

Well, I as I said, I was tired of the small town life. Right. You know, you've got your family, you've got very few friends, and I just knew that there was more out there for me.

SPEAKER_06 44:05

Hello, Silly, but what is your name?

SPEAKER_09 44:08

Well, my name my name's Franklin. Thank you for asking. And honestly, who are all of you people?

SPEAKER_01 44:13

Uh we're staying out in the UTL back. We thought this was a dating show. Well, I thought it might be. I thought we were gonna be that or unpunked or something.

SPEAKER_09 44:22

If only this were a dating show. Can you imagine how hard it is to date in such a small town, especially when there's when there's no one just like there's no one like you.

SPEAKER_07 44:32

Now, do you know Pip? That's the man that brought us here, and I'm just we're looking for him because we heard this noise outside of our yurts, and nobody really seems to be around.

SPEAKER_09 44:42

I do know Pip. I don't know where he is though. I mean, he's usually here or there or somewhere. You know, he used to live in the manor, right? Like he actually helped like clean it and take care of the grounds back in the day, back when things kind of first blew up here, and you know, that the Dagons died.

SPEAKER_03 44:58

Blew up? I'm sorry, yeah, you see what was this blew up nonsense you're talking about, the love Well, the Dagons had a beautiful manor.

SPEAKER_09 45:05

I mean it must have been a long time ago, but it was beautiful and well taken care of, and the grounds looked amazing. I mean, there was actually grass on this island a long time ago. But they d well, she died and and then eventually he died, and that was it. It was the gig was up.

SPEAKER_03 45:22

I'm sorry, you're saying you know, pretty subjective words like a lot or a long time ago. Could you quantify that for me? How many years are we talking here?

SPEAKER_09 45:33

Well, that was that was before I was born. So I mean I'm I'm in my late forties. That was probably fifty to sixty years ago.

SPEAKER_03 45:40

Okay, and uh Pip is how old?

SPEAKER_09 45:42

Ah, Pip, he's in his sixties, I think. I don't know, mid-sixties maybe.

SPEAKER_03 45:45

Okay, and this blew up when?

SPEAKER_09 45:47

Yeah, about forty to fifty years, I think.

SPEAKER_06 45:49

Uh-huh. So what are you saying? Uh Pip is a ghost?

SPEAKER_09 45:52

No, no, not at all. You know? It's a small island. If you need someone to cut the grass, what's wrong with having a 14-year or 15-year-old do it?

SPEAKER_01 46:00

Can I ask you a personal question?

SPEAKER_09 46:01

Of course.

SPEAKER_01 46:02

Do you know the Reverend by chance?

SPEAKER_09 46:06

I heard of the Reverend. I I can't say that I ever I ever walked into that church. There's you know, there's just some hate for people in the world, especially people who are different, and as o I was I'm someone who always felt different. And I just I couldn't I couldn't even imagine having a conversation with the man.

SPEAKER_03 46:24

Hey Franklin, I know what it's like to be different.

SPEAKER_09 46:27

Do you? I you've got kind eyes, I can imagine.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

I know what it's like to be misunderstood. But look, you've been here your whole life, minus these this time in LA. Great town, by the way. Been there a few times. What can you tell us about the rumbling in the ground and the rocks whistling all over the place?

SPEAKER_09 46:45

I mean, there's there's not much I would know. It just seems like a kind of a kooky island the entire time I lived here. It's been it's always a creepy place to be, you know, and I've been all over the world. In my life, I've I've gone to Asia, you know, I served for with with Doctors Without Borders, and I've seen some crazy stuff. I mean, the animals in this world are amazing, but there's been no place I've ever been that has quite been like this. I mean, just a few minutes ago I heard the wind and it it sent chills down my spine. It's just not normal here, and honestly, that's why I had to get out.

SPEAKER_01 47:15

Did you say kooky or cocky?

SPEAKER_09 47:16

Oh, it it's very kooky.

SPEAKER_01 47:18

Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_09 47:19

But why did you return? It I just felt the call. I I felt that the memory of this place was holding me back from my future life, and I wanted to come back, and honestly, I wanted to burn down this office.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

Is that what you're doing now?

SPEAKER_09 47:33

I was honestly thinking about it. I don't know what I would use to burn it down, but I'd find it. I'd go over to the general store and buy whatever I needed to to burn this office to the ground.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Look, mate, this is all very p peculiar. We're just trying to figure out why the wind's blowing so hard, and you're telling us you're about to burn down a building?

SPEAKER_07 47:50

Now, there's also only four buildings here. I'm not sure it's a good idea to burn one of them down. At least not yours.

SPEAKER_06 47:57

At this point, I think we should burn the entire island down. It smells like shit.

SPEAKER_07 48:01

Well now, Veronica, don't you think we ought to find out where people like Pip live on this island?

SPEAKER_09 48:06

Pip is a ghost. I mean, I could tell you that. As I mentioned, he's always here and there, but I think he lives inside the mansion, but I've never actually seen him go inside the mansion. I just kind of assumed he was there.

SPEAKER_03 48:17

Oh, how interesting. You see, we just came from there, try to open the door, it was completely locked.

SPEAKER_09 48:24

I'm not surprised, to be honest. I mean, he wouldn't want you to go in there. It's completely dilapidated. From what we from what we've heard, it's very unsafe to go inside.

SPEAKER_07 48:32

Honey, do you know any way into the mansion?

SPEAKER_09 48:35

Through the front door is all I know. If it is so unsafe, then why does he live there?

SPEAKER_07 48:39

Do you know where a key to the mansion may be?

SPEAKER_09 48:41

A key? The only I mean, the only person I could think of having a key on this island. Maybe Billy. I mean, Billy's kind of a kid, but I know Billy's allowed to at least go in there and and kind of fix things up now and then. It it does take a while when you only have a few people working on it.

SPEAKER_06 48:56

It seems we must search for this Billy.

SPEAKER_09 48:59

Oh, that's easy. Billy's over in the general store.

SPEAKER_07 49:01

Right. Well, I do need to get some toothpaste anyway. We should head next door to the general store and find Billy and ask her for a key.

SPEAKER_09 49:08

You head out of the doctor's office, looking back, wondering, is he going to burn it down? Really? You head towards the general store. The front of it reminds you of your local convenience store, but somehow 20 years older.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

Like 20 years older in a good or bad way?

SPEAKER_09 49:23

Like a convenience store from 20 years ago. How could that be good?

SPEAKER_04 49:26

Oh, a go, okay. Okay. Also 2000s? Nice.

SPEAKER_09 49:29

Oh wow, yeah, not even that bad. You enter the general store. It does look indeed like a 20-year-old convenience store. You see a woman. She has a faded tattoo on her ribs from a lifetime ago. A mane of red hair, out and wild when she drinks. Perfectly manicured when in court, though. She wears a well-known Cartier watch. I don't know what model. She's got a brown leather band. Her first major purchase when she reached success. She favors high heels and wears them with grace, even in this small general store.

SPEAKER_07 50:00

Well, hello, honey.

SPEAKER_09 50:01

Question How do we see her ribs? Imagine her clothing showing her ribs. It's a crop top? Sure. She's wearing a crop top.

SPEAKER_07 50:07

Well, hello, honey. My name is Martha Lou. I'm here with some of these people. I've gathered along my travels. And we heard this loud noise when next door we met a doctor. He's talking about burning down the place. We're wondering if you can help us find Pip. We hear he might be in the mansion, but we couldn't get into the mansion. So do you have a key?

SPEAKER_09 50:28

Okay. So first of all, who the hell are all of you?

SPEAKER_07 50:31

Like I said, my name is Mother Lou. I don't mind if you call me Ms. Mother Lou.

SPEAKER_09 50:36

Ma'am, you could just stop right there. How did you get onto the island? Okay? Because I was told this was going to be my personal oasis when I came here for a job to get away from the real world, all right? Because you know what? I know I'm working in this tiny little shop, and for me, this is a vacation. Yeah, working is a vacation because I'm a lawyer, okay? So be careful what you say to me.

SPEAKER_06 50:56

Monsieur, please, were you summoned here to the island on Instagram?

SPEAKER_09 51:01

No, it was LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_01 51:02

We were brought here through a DM from Pip. Have you heard of him?

SPEAKER_09 51:08

Well, of course I've met Pip. He's the one who hired me to work in the general store, and every now and then I have to put on my jeans and my t-shirt and sweat like a pig and go in and fix something in the mansion.

SPEAKER_07 51:18

How long have you been here, Bailey?

SPEAKER_09 51:20

Uh I think it's been maybe four months.

SPEAKER_07 51:22

Now, see, this doesn't really make much sense because the fellow we met before, I believe his name was Franklin. Franklin seemed to know you like you were one of the locals here.

SPEAKER_09 51:32

Franklin the Doctor?

SPEAKER_07 51:34

Yes, Franklin the Doctor.

SPEAKER_09 51:36

Oh, I'm sure he knows me. When I first came to this island, maybe a week in, yeah, it started to really burn when I pissed, and so I had to go see the doctor, and jolly old Franklin had to take care of me. And oh my goodness, are that man's hands cold?

SPEAKER_06 51:50

Monsieur, please, it seems we've gotten off on the wrong foot. It is imperative that we find Pip. Do you have the key to the mansion, please? We have been lied to to be tricked to come to this island.

SPEAKER_09 52:03

I don't have the key. Pip lets me in when he needs me to do work, obviously. Like I don't live there. I'm not just gonna walk in whenever I want to.

SPEAKER_07 52:11

Now let me ask you a question, Billy. Have have you ever had a weird feeling on this island? It does seem a bit off to me. I think it's felt a bit off to all of us since we got here this evening. It's it's a bit cold, it's a bit gray, there's no grass. We're just a little confused about what we were brought here for, and I'm wondering if you feel the same.

SPEAKER_09 52:31

I'm not confused. I literally wanted a way to just unwind, and I can't just go somewhere and not do something. I have to be working, and suddenly somebody messaged me saying, Hey, we have this perfect opportunity for you, which does seem kind of weird because I'm a successful lawyer and they offered me a job in a general store in a deserted island. I mean, maybe what is there, three or four other people here? It is kind of strange, but I never really thought about it.

SPEAKER_06 52:54

My love, tell me, are you a Capricorn?

SPEAKER_09 52:56

Okay, first of all, I don't even believe in that. And second of all, how dare you?

SPEAKER_03 52:59

Love. I'm sorry, forgive my friend. She's into some very particular things. Uh what kind of law do you practice? Did you practice?

SPEAKER_09 53:08

Divorce.

SPEAKER_03 53:09

You must have seen a whole plethora of heartbreak in your life.

SPEAKER_09 53:13

Yeah. The heartbreak is when I win and they have to pay up.

SPEAKER_03 53:17

You seem like a woman with conviction, and I deeply, profoundly respect that. When's your birthday?

SPEAKER_09 53:23

My birthday is in August. Can you not tell?

SPEAKER_03 53:25

I don't really know. I mean, I'm not the one here who knows things about signs and whatnot. But look, we're sorry to have interrupted you. Deeply appreciate you giving us the the who's who of it all, but would you mind coming with us and the manors to see if we can find Pip? Because we've all been a little bit misled. We've gotten these really great yurts. It is suspicious how well he knew Marte and Vinyl Records.

SPEAKER_09 53:48

Okay, that does seem a bit weird. Also, why are you listening to vinyl? What year is it? Buy yourself an iPod at least.

SPEAKER_03 53:55

Oh no, excuse me. I no longer want anything to do with you.

SPEAKER_09 53:59

Okay, that sounds great because you guys can go ahead and leave. I'm gonna pop in the back here where I live, just in case you are curious, because apparently now you have to live in the place where you work. I don't understand it, but this place doesn't even have houses. Yeah, enjoy your private yurt. I'm sure it's really glorious in there. I'm gonna go stay on the cot here that they provided for this.

SPEAKER_03 54:18

Seems like you already lived where you worked before, but that's fine.

SPEAKER_07 54:22

Now, ma'am, I I I'm so sorry. I d just need to stop you and ask you a few more questions before we go. I know you seem to have a lot on your plate here, but please just tell me, do you know any way we can get into the mansion? I know you work with Pip and you've been in there before. Is there any way in?

SPEAKER_09 54:39

As I said before, through the front door, and if that's not working, maybe you should go somewhere else.

SPEAKER_07 54:44

Well, that doesn't help me at all, but thank you. Please go on about your business.

SPEAKER_09 54:48

Oh, I will.

SPEAKER_07 54:48

Do we all congregate outside?

SPEAKER_09 54:50

The singles all congregate outside.

SPEAKER_07 54:52

I think we all go back to the mansion and figure out a way to break in.

SPEAKER_01 54:55

But I have a question for all of you guys. Was it weird that she had said we should try somewhere else? Like there was like a secret passage maybe from a different building? Or am I just being crazy? I have a I I watch a lot of Lord of the Rings.

SPEAKER_06 55:12

No, CC, your intuition is very powerful, and I believe you may have something of truth to what your idea is. Perhaps we should examine the grounds again around the mansion.

SPEAKER_03 55:23

Perhaps we could even how far is the church from the from the mansion? I feel like churches are usually all about some underground things.

SPEAKER_05 55:32

Or should we go back to our yurts and sleep and see what the next day brings?

SPEAKER_00 55:36

No.

SPEAKER_09 55:37

The singles decide to head back to their yurts. The sound has gone. They'll find out tomorrow what's going on on this island. The darkness comes, they fall asleep, and they are awoken once again by the loud groan of the earth moving. The wind blows through, the ground shakes, the rocks move, the rocks tumble, and they are all instantly awoken.

SPEAKER_07 56:03

I've had too much jan for this noise to be waking me up this evening.

SPEAKER_03 56:07

I'd like to stumble out of my yurt, um, wearing my pajama pants and being barefoot. And I'm gonna regret this as I'm stepping on sharp rocks. Uh, but I'm gonna walk over to Cece's yurt and I'm gonna But is there like a hard door or is it like a cover, like a flappy cover for the canvas, perhaps. Canvas cover? Okay. I'm going to whisper, Oi, oi love, Cece. Cece, are you white? Yeah, what are you what are you doing in here? Oi, uh, I heard the way you're talking about those concurrent winds earlier, and I've got a no. Do you think there's something going on in the tectonic plates beneath us?

SPEAKER_01 56:46

That could be a possibility. The sub-Saharan plate is rubbing against the Washington plate. And it could cause a little bit of friction. I do not know geography. Geology? Or that too. The Washington plate.

SPEAKER_05 57:06

Where it meets the sub-Saharan.

SPEAKER_03 57:08

Feels good, feels good.

SPEAKER_05 57:09

It's all about confidence.

SPEAKER_03 57:10

Hmm, alright. That's not that's not a form of friction I'm familiar with, but I don't know if it's even safe to stay here, really. Yeah, this place just keeps getting like more and more eerie. Do you feel that way? I feel a little bit uncomfortable, but also. I mean, what is life? Existence is pain. I'm just kinda going along with things for the for the most part. Things haven't been the same since my heart broke. I'm telling you, you are the most emote person I have ever met.

SPEAKER_06 57:38

And she's a cancer.

SPEAKER_01 57:40

That's pretty rich coming from a cancer. I mean, I do have my sensitive side too. I don't know, I'm just worried about everyone at this point. Should we go wake everyone up?

SPEAKER_09 57:49

At that moment, the singles are interrupted by a blaze. Regan's yurt is suddenly on fire.

SPEAKER_03 57:56

Oh fuck!

SPEAKER_09 57:56

The entire yurt. In that moment, a dark shape runs off into the distance.

SPEAKER_03 58:02

Following the shape.

SPEAKER_06 58:03

Mac, you set our cabins on fire last year.

SPEAKER_09 58:06

Sounds like that's a theme! You run after the shape, you make it all the way down to the clearing in the town center, and you see nothing anywhere.

SPEAKER_05 58:15

At this point in time, I leave my yurt to see the neighboring yurt ablaze, and notice that Martha Lou has also exited her yurt amongst the commotion.

SPEAKER_06 58:28

Mademoiselle Martha Lou, what is going on?

SPEAKER_07 58:31

Oh honey, I have no idea. I was having a beautiful dream about an incredible man. And then here we are woken by that noise again. And what's going on with Regan's yurt?

SPEAKER_01 58:42

It was caught on fire. I don't know, he was just in my yurt and darn, nothing happened.

SPEAKER_07 58:49

I've heard that story before.

SPEAKER_01 58:51

But of chaos. This is Love Island, would have heard.

SPEAKER_04 58:54

I'd like to run back to the yurt. You're walk you're walking back to the yurt. I'm about to run back to the yurtts. Oh, okay, you're running back.

SPEAKER_09 59:02

Regan runs towards the yurts, but trips and falls to the ground.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

That's just disrespectful. I didn't even roll for that.

SPEAKER_09 59:09

That's just shade. I didn't kill you. I just said you tripped and fell down.

SPEAKER_06 59:13

Listen, I have to tell you, I was unable to sleep a wink last night. I kept having these visions of a shadowy figure following you around. All of you.

SPEAKER_01 59:21

You saw a figure outside of our yurts?

SPEAKER_06 59:24

Yes, it was terrible darkness. I don't know where it came from, but it was lingering to us. We could not escape it.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

I get knocked down, but I get up again. You're never gonna keep me down. Oh my god. I keep running.

SPEAKER_07 59:35

I would like to embrace Regan on her on his way back in, but I don't need to say that.

SPEAKER_05 59:42

You're telling us it's a close-up shot of a hug.

SPEAKER_03 59:45

Regan, what's going on? I I don't know, but all my worldly possessions, so the last bit of stuff I even cared about in this worth is all in that blaze. But y you didn't bring any of those things. They were here for you. No, no. I I had a duffel bag. Some very specific items. Was it a bit of poetry? Actually, yeah, it was my last work in a notebook, a Moskin notebook. But I had my flask, I had my knife, I had my DSLR, ha you know, for my artwork, for my inspiration. Look, after that breakup, I mean these are the last bit of things I had left in this world that haven't been taken from me.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:23

Did you have a candle in your yurt because it is now up in flames? What happened?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:27

I don't know, no, there's nothing going on in there. I saw someone running away. Did you find him by chance? You ran back, so I figured you did. No. I traced him I traced him down to the town center and then he just disappeared. Also, I'm really cold now, because all I have on are pajama pants. I know, I can see those abs.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:44

Well stand closer to the burning yurt.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:46

I mean I really want to talk about the abs, but can we talk about how there's a shadowy figure? I'm so scared.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:51

I don't know, I really just saw like a tall kind of figure running away, and honestly, maybe it's the fucking doctor. I mean, he was the one talking about setting things up in flames. Did he look in his mid-40s or mid-sixties? Because there's a big difference. Look, I couldn't see that.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:06

All I could see was the shadow. And it was running. How fast was it running? Like an old person or fast enough for me to not catch him, love. And wow, they must be pretty young.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:15

At this point, Veronica triangulates based on the moon's location that it is about 4 a.m.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:20

It is very late, everyone. I think it is most important that we find someone to help us. Perhaps we should check out the church.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:27

The church? I feel like that's the last place we should be going.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:31

Well, what do you think, Cece? Where should we go?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:33

I mean, I don't know. There's the bookstore we've gotten there. The hospital. What other buildings are there?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:39

A hospital love, just a dinky little doctor's office. There's also a cemetery.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:44

I do not think this is a place to be at this hour. I totally agree.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:47

Let's not go there.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:48

Look, we're past the witching hour. This is not 3 a.m.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:50

I do not know the time zone where we are.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:52

I guess our only choice is the church.

SPEAKER_09 1:01:55

They walk towards the church, looking after whatever it is that Regan tripped on on the way back. And they see an old, decrepit church. No cross on top of it. The windows, stained glass but weathered, showing scenes of St. Michael slaying the serpent.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:10

I would like to roll to use my clairvoyance to feel out the vibe and see if there are any people or beings in this area. Go ahead and roll.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:20

Roll for a vibe check.

SPEAKER_09 1:02:22

It's a one. Not only have you not used clairvoyance, but instead you receive a signal back. You feel nauseated. You feel as if a great pressure is on top of you. And you feel as if you are going to be eaten by a tiger when it's when you snap out of it.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:55

Oh mon Dieu! I have felt such darkness in this space. I think we should leave at once. I am overwhelmed by the dark energy in this place. It is imperative that we spend no more time here.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:09

Do you enter or do you leave? Let's enter anyway. You enter the old church. It's small. It's got old wooden pews. There doesn't seem to be much artwork going around. No sign of people. No books, except for the one on the pulpit.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:28

I want to go look at the book on the pulpit. And I'm gonna check if there's any uh floorboards loose that there might be somewhere we can go down in the basement.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:36

I will remain by the door trembling.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:39

I'm gonna tremble with Veronica.

SPEAKER_09 1:03:41

The two of you tremble. Do you have some gin in your purse? Cece rolls around on the floor looking for loose floorboards. Regan heads towards the pulpit to check out the book and open it up and see what might be inside. When suddenly the book catches on fire. It's not a large fire, not like the yurt. It's if somebody hit it with a lighter for just a moment.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:01

You you're saying this this shit's just caught on fire. Um excuse me if that's desecrating the house of the Lord here, but there's no cross on the onside. This shit just caught on fire.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:11

Veronica screams from the doorway. Please, I told you this place was filled with darkness.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:17

I'm gonna run over, take my robe off, put the fire out so that Regan can read the book.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:22

Do you have anything under your robe?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:24

I do. I have a very classy set of pajamas underneath my robe, of course. What kind of lady would ever be caught dead in just a robe?

SPEAKER_06 1:04:32

And a pair of huge naturals.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:34

You use your robe to put out the fire, and now there's simply a black clad book. No markings, no inscriptions on the outside.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:41

I'm gonna open up the book and try to read it.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:43

You open up the book, and as you do, it somehow still burns your hand, and while you pull your hand away, you see a symbol circle burnt into your hand.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:53

Is it like a pentagram?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:55

Nope, just a circle.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:56

Is it a ringworm?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:58

That's fast-acting ringworm.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:00

Like a bubbled up portion of my skin, or is it like a black mark?

SPEAKER_09 1:05:03

It is like an instant scar, but not like one large circle, like the outline of a circle.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:10

Madam, Madam Martha Lou, can you try opening this book for me? Yes, sweetheart. Let me see. I try opening the book.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:16

Martha Lou opens the book. Inside, blank pages.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:20

Motherfucker. That's because I'm a non-believer.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:23

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:24

Now, Regan, w what happened?

SPEAKER_07 1:05:26

Is your I'm sorry, it's your is your hand okay? Oh, certainly, honey. It I feel fine. I I just I'm just a bit confused, honey.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:34

Alright, um, I I just I wanna look at the book myself and see if I also see blank pages.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:40

You look at the book. You don't see blank pages. You see inscriptions in a language you cannot understand.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:48

I'm rushing over. Don't read it, don't read it. Don't you see all of these movies?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:54

Wait, hold on. What I'm sorry, what do you see when you look at this book? I open the book and read it.

SPEAKER_09 1:05:59

She opens The book receives a burn to the hand in the form of a circle and sees inscriptions in an ancient language.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:05

Fucking shit, that hurts. Wait, are you also gotten a circle? Yes. But Ms. Marfolie, you didn't get a circle. No, honey. I can't be hurt. Cece, look, what are your philosophical beliefs?

SPEAKER_01 1:06:17

I grew up and I went to Catholic school. I mean, certainly I was baptized when I was younger, but I really am you know, I just haven't been to church. I ha I really like don't really have any beliefs per se right now. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:31

Um, Veronica. We're the closest thing we have to an expert. Can you come over here and take a look with this, please?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:38

Oh, I suppose I must. Veronica approaches the book in a very laggy kind of way.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:43

Do you see anything inside of this book?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:45

Wells, this book is unlike anything I've ever seen before. However, I believe that spiritualism comes in all shapes and sizes, and we must not ridicule the beliefs of others.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:55

The real question is, how do you or d do you not see blank pages?

SPEAKER_09 1:07:00

I attempt to read the book. Veronica attempts to read the book. Veronica feels sick, but Veronica can't see. She's dizzy and falls down.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:09

Oh, suckle blue! What is this? How in else calls that me?

SPEAKER_09 1:07:14

As the singles approach, Veronica keels over on the side and starts puking. Again? Again.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:21

Is it normal, blood, or black?

SPEAKER_09 1:07:24

It's normal puke.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:26

I'm gonna try to pick up Veronica and take her outside.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:28

I'm a light wave, so you succeed without rolling.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:31

The singles are now outside. Veronica feels relief. No more puke and wipes her lips.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:37

A puke of her breast slipping from beneath her nightgown.

SPEAKER_07 1:07:40

There is a lot happening here. I'm not really sure why you two have a little circle on your hand. And what is happening to Veronica? I think I might go back inside and try to grab that book again and see if these troubles follow her as she tries to read it.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:55

Mademoiselle Mathaloo, please do not touch that book. It is imperative that we leave it where it is.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:00

I'm gonna go back in.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:01

Have you got any further answers for us?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:03

I can tell you when I attempted to read the book, I was bombarded with ancient texts I have never seen before. I do not understand. However, this is very powerful, very dark magic.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:14

Well, honey, unless you have a way home, we have to figure out something.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:17

This I agree.

SPEAKER_07 1:08:18

Should we take the book to someone or read from it?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:21

Still no. We should not move the book at all. I cannot make this more clear.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:25

I want to go inside the church again and try to investigate the book and see what happens when I keep touching it.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:30

Mon dieu. Regan goes inside the church. And heads towards the pulpit and picks up the book and brings it back out with him to read with the singles. As he does, he feels something and he will roll to find out what he feels.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:50

Oh.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:51

He flips through the pages. He rolled a five, by the way, so. Good roll, Chris. But he reads through the pages, but I can't understand a damn thing. It's some kind of foreign language, looks ancient, doesn't make any sense. But as he tries to make sense of this scribble in his eyes, he hears a sound. Only him, a laugh.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:13

What's so funny? None of this is funny, actually. I don't know what you're talking about. Why are you laughing? I'm not laughing.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:20

I'm gonna keep reading the book.

SPEAKER_09 1:09:21

He keeps reading the book. The laughter continues. Strains his eyes. Maybe he turned the shapes into something and sees over and over again the words written, the one. The one. The one.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:32

And I'm just reading this up. The one. The one. The one. Who the fuck is the one? You think maybe it has something to do with this reverend? How am I feeling right now as I'm reading this?

SPEAKER_09 1:09:42

I would say focused, but at the same time, tense. Sweat beating around your brow. Regan is overcome with the sensation of needing to rip out a page and eat it.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:54

I start ripping a page and I start like balling it up and like trying to stuff it into my mouth.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:59

Oh handsome, what are you doing? We have food back at the yurt.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:03

I'm just like, keep going.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:04

His yurt is burned to a crisp, he has no food left. However, Veronica then slaps Regan across the face, trying to knock some sense into him. What what happened? My cherry, you were muttering the one over and over, and then you started to eat the book, which is terrible for your digestive system. It does appear so. This is why I told you not to read the book.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:26

I've been mad. Many have called me mad, but the question is not yet settled whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:33

Veronica slaps him again.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:35

Snap out of it!

SPEAKER_09 1:10:36

Veronica slaps Regan so hard that he spits out some of the page onto the ground. And immediately grass grows beneath it.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:45

What the fuck is going on here? What is this? This is not an ecological phenomenon that I know of. Okay, science.

SPEAKER_09 1:10:54

As the singles all stare at the single blade of grass growing from the rocks after the pages spit onto it, seemingly brought it to life, they once again see a shape. This time in the shape of the doctor, leaving his office, closing the door, and slowly walking uphill towards the mansion.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:12

I'm gonna run after him.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:13

There it is, the figure for my vision. You reach the doctor. He seemingly is in a trance, doesn't say anything, only smiles and walks.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:22

I'm gonna start shaking him. Oi! Oi! Did you set my fucking yurt on fire?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:27

What the hell is going on here?

SPEAKER_09 1:11:29

The doctor mumbles. The one, the one, the one, the one way we will survive. The one, the one, the one, the one way we will have life.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:40

Guys, this is so scary. What are we gonna do? Who the fuck is the one, man?

SPEAKER_09 1:11:44

The one brings life. The one brings life. Where is the one? The one brings life. The one is here. The one is everywhere. The one is all around us, above us and beneath us.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:52

I'm gonna show him the scar on my hand and say, what the fuck is this?

SPEAKER_09 1:11:56

The doctor smiles and takes your hand. He flips it over, slides his hand out, and shows you the same scar.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:04

Regan, we have the same scar. What does it mean, man?

SPEAKER_09 1:12:08

It means you must come with me to the one.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:12

It's the who is this one? Is it the Reverend?

SPEAKER_09 1:12:15

The Doctor continues to walk. At this point, holding Regan's hand, smiling, saying, The one, the one, the one.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:22

Is Regan currently himself or in a trance?

SPEAKER_09 1:12:26

Regan is currently just simply letting the doctor hold his hand and walk with him.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:30

It's been so long since I've held this intimacy.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:32

Regan, now is not the time for your sex-crazed antics. We must get to the bottom of the mystery of the Isle of Paisley.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:39

I I think you I think you should all probably stay here for Cece's sake at least.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:44

Nah, I ain't leaving none of y'all. We can't be apart. And I don't know much about Cece to make her more special than the rest of us. I don't know, guys. I'm just I'm so scared. That's pretty much all you've said for about the past hour, honey. You gotta do more than that if you want to succeed in this world. Well, can I at least get second from the back of the line where we're going? Yes. I don't have a scar, so I'd be happy to follow you all, make sure we get there safely. We have to figure out what's going on.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:09

If there's any hope of us getting off of this wretched island, we must find out what's going on.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:14

Is there okay, are there loose rocks on the on the ground?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:18

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:18

Like a good chunky rock. Chunky boy.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:22

There's rocks of every size. You got the little ones that you could like, you know, you probably chew up and eat, and you got the big ones you can knock somebody out with.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:28

Okay, I want a big one that I can knock someone out with. I'm just gonna hold on to it.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:31

It's heavy. You got it.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:33

Exhaustion exhaustion level decreases significantly. I'm not trying to take a boulder, I'm trying to take something that's just big enough.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:41

Something practical. Are you are you continuing to walk while you hold this boulder?

SPEAKER_07 1:13:44

Yeah, we're following. We're all following.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:46

We are down for the ride. You are following the doctor, holding this pretty large rock that you could probably knock somebody out with, as the doctor is seemingly in a trance while smiling, saying, The one, the one, the one. As this happens, you hear voices from behind you.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:02

And then turn around, find out what's there. Up turning around, cowered behind Reagan.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:07

As you turn around and peer off into the distance, it is dark, but you do see flaming locks of auburn hair.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:13

Where's that from? That's a song. It's Jolene. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:18

Does that look like uh Billy to you guys? No, love, that's Jolene. Jolene. Jolene.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:25

Jolene.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:28

Jolene.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:29

Please don't take him just because you can.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:32

As you peer off at at Billy, recounting the uh the tale of Jolene, Billy screams at you, where the hell are you going?

SPEAKER_03 1:14:39

Oh, we've got these fucking scores on our hands, and this doctor's trying to take me to the van.

SPEAKER_09 1:14:43

Well, it looks like you're trying to go into the manor, and you're never gonna get in through the front door. I don't even know what you're trying.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:48

You wanna join us?

SPEAKER_09 1:14:50

Okay, no, first of all, second of all, I'll let you in. I do know a way to break into the manor. It doesn't involve a key. I'll run around back and you go in the front and I'll let you in.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:00

I don't I don't like the sound of this. This just she said she didn't know how to get in, and now she wants to help us get in. And she did tell us a bit of a fear earlier.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:09

She is clearly a bitch.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:10

I think the reality is here, we're all being set out to be sacrificed.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:14

I'm afraid this is what they suspected all along as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:17

Okay, I'm gonna try to hit the doctor.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:19

You can roll for it. Shouldn't we get in the mansion first? I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:23

I'm open to I'm open to persuasion.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:25

Let's get inside the mansion and see what happens, and then kill the doctor.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:29

I feel like we should see what's in the mansion. Yeah. Alright. I'll hold my aggression.

SPEAKER_09 1:15:35

Understood. So you hold the boulder, you hold the doctor's hand, and you walk up to the front door. At that point, Billy runs around to let you in from the back door. You hear another voice. Whose voice is it? You're never gonna get in without a sacrifice. Sacrifice?

SPEAKER_01 1:15:49

Is this like the troll that you had to pay to get across the bridge? I'm confused. What the heck?

SPEAKER_09 1:15:55

The voice is loud, almost like it's been amplified.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:58

Where is the voice coming from? Inside?

SPEAKER_09 1:16:01

Seemingly inside.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:02

What I'm gonna yell into the inside. What kind of sacrifice are you looking for?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:08

They mean a blood sacrifice.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:10

Alright, excellent. Let's fucking go. And then I'm gonna take the rock and and try to hit the doctor's head with it.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:15

Let's roll for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:16

I'm rolling to knock him out and drop a little bit of blood.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:19

Sick cat. Chris rolled a four. You hit the doctor. The doctor goes down hard. The doctor's bleeding from the head and does not appear to be responding in any way. It you may have killed the doctor.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:30

There's your fucking blood, man.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:31

That's not what we meant. You have to give to be given, not take.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:36

But we're gonna give him, right? Why would we just hit him? Take him, please.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:42

You must give something up. Someone up. Someone that's actually a sacrifice.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:46

Veronica. Salop. Believe me, this doctor was the closest thing we had to a medical professional. I think it's a big loss not have his skills around.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:56

I don't think you understand, Regan. I have an idea. Veronica seeks out a broken piece of something and makes a small cut in her hand, letting blood drip to the floor.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:07

Oh, that's a good sacrifice. There's blood on the floor. What next?

SPEAKER_06 1:17:11

Are you happy with our sacrifice now?

SPEAKER_09 1:17:13

You have given, but not enough.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:15

Should we all cut ourselves?

SPEAKER_05 1:17:16

It's now just a suicide pact.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:19

Alright, I'll I'll cut a little bit of my hand. I'll cut a little bit of mine. I will not cut a little bit of mine.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:25

You're a traitor, honey. I have been around too long to give in to tricks like this.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:31

It also must be all that southern cooking. We don't need all that cholesterol clogging up our blood.

SPEAKER_03 1:17:37

Oh, she's probably on blood thinners, though.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:39

True. That is very true.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:40

I would like to pull out a weapon.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:42

You were unsuccessful. You did not pull out a weapon. But at this point, you do hear footsteps getting closer to the door, and a click, and footsteps running from the door.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:51

I would like to open the door.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:52

Martha Lou reaches for the handle, but the handle is warm. She slowly turns it and opens the door. She peers inside, but does she go in? Ryan rolled a four. Martha Lou steps inside, and the door immediately slams behind her. You have made the right choice.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:10

I'm gonna start banging on the door.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:12

I was beginning to think she could not open doors.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:14

Did you not see her dating profile? She actually says she's still single because men don't open doors for her anymore.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:21

I would like to close the door behind me. Leave everybody else outside. Now it's already closed.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:26

The door's already closed. Sure.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:27

I'd like to lock the door behind me so that they can't come in.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:30

You're inside and you look around. You want to lock the door because you're kind of over it from them, but you can't really see anything because it's pitch black.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:37

Do I hear anything?

SPEAKER_09 1:18:38

Nothing.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:39

Is it hot?

SPEAKER_09 1:18:40

It's not hot. It's silent.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:42

Okay, I'd like to open the door and let welcome everybody else in, but with an attitude.

SPEAKER_09 1:18:46

Roll for it. Ryan, roll the five. You open the door and you let everyone else in. They walk in behind you.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:53

Now I could hear what y'all were saying about me outside. I'll let you in, but don't think this is a sign of kindness from me. I'm not on your team, I'm on my own. Madam, I was simply stating that you're single because men don't open the doors for you anymore.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:07

That's right. They haven't got much left in this world for me when men don't open doors. Alright, then I think I wasn't really cr creating a transgression against you, madam. We got demons to worry about here.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:18

Oh, you have nothing to worry about here, and definitely not demons. You look around, you see nothing. It's pitch black. You sniff around, you smell nothing. But you feel the roughness of plywood beneath your feet.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:31

Listen, everyone, it is not because I'm psychic, but this sounds exactly like what a demon would say.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:36

Who are you?

SPEAKER_09 1:19:37

I well, I am me. You've met me, and you've met my friends.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:43

You Pip.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:44

Bingo Bongo, you got it.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:46

Uh why are we here?

SPEAKER_09 1:19:48

You look around for Pip, trying to figure out where this amplified voice is coming from. Your eyes, now adjusted to the darkness, are suddenly blinded by floodlights from high up the walls. You look around, begin to see the details of the structure emerge. Plywood floors. High plywood walls with raw wood support beams. There's no rooms, no doors, no decorations. The manor is as fake as the inside of a movie set.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:14

What is this? What is going on?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:16

It's an illusion. This doesn't even look like a house. Oh, these fuckers just pulled the wizard of oz on us.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:23

We got ozed. Are we being punked? Never seen that movie, but I can agree with you.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:29

Huh, we got Spider-Man Far From Home.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:32

Pip, are you are you still there?

SPEAKER_09 1:20:33

Oh yes, I'm here. I can see you. I've got you on video camera. They rigged it up so I can so I can look at it.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:39

What are you what are you doing? I I write.

SPEAKER_09 1:20:43

Well, I lied earlier. I'm a little bit religious, and I follow the one.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:49

What is it that you want from us, honey?

SPEAKER_09 1:20:51

Oh, it's it's not what I want. Well, you see, there is something I want. You know, this this island did used to be beautiful, and now it's basically dead, and I want it to be beautiful again because I want to rent out yurts year long, and I want to get rich. I mean, I'm hoping to live at least another 15 years, and I'd like to, you know, go out with a bang. When it comes to you, well, somebody else wants all of you. The one. And honestly, I can't believe you didn't pick up on who it was.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:20

This is all over some yurts? I'm telling you, those are a time a dozen around the United States. They're everywhere. You can make a living somewhere somewhere other than this island.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:30

But remember, Cece, location is everything.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:33

Yeah, this location ain't got very much.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:35

Not now, but it will if he has his way and I have my way, and I serve him. See how this works out? I get what I want.

SPEAKER_06 1:21:43

He wants to spill our blood so that the island can come back to life.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:46

Who is him? I'm sick of this ambiguity. He's the one that put the fucking circle on all hands love.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:53

He is indeed. And I thought that was kind of a nice touch, too. I didn't suggest that one. That was that was a good touch.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:58

Okay, so why do we have circles and they don't?

SPEAKER_09 1:22:00

Why did they have circles and uh well goodness? Okay, so here's a couple things. He doesn't really get along with other ones that are kind of like him because he has kind of this whole like inferiority complex. So the uh the the old one down there, he's got like, you know, she's got this thing for for one of the others that he kind of competes with, and he ain't touching that with the ten foot pole.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:22

Excuse you.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:23

I I I think you know what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:25

Okay, look, obviously, this is the point where the villain gives a terrible monologue. So I hope you're using this time wisely to l search about at this point.

SPEAKER_05 1:22:33

Veronica attempts to open the door from whence we came. Roll for it.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:38

It's a three.

SPEAKER_09 1:22:39

Oh. You attempt to open the door and you are not successful. But you do hear the voice of Pip once again. Hey, I can tell when you try to do that. They've also got it connected, so I can kind of control things from up here. So it's it's kind of smart in a way, but it I don't know how it's supposed to work. There's no Wi-Fi. That's what that's all that I know. Please don't try to do that again because I've already told them that you're all his. So yeah, just kinda hang out for a few minutes.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:02

There's no Wi-Fi, there must be Bluetooth.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:05

Well, I've I've got pretty good dental care. Every year I go to the mainland and get a dental cleaning, so my teeth are not blue.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:10

I'm backing up trying to escape.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:12

You back up and you hit the wall.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:14

But I wanted to hit the door.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:15

You hit the door and nothing moves. It cannot be opened.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:19

Are there stairs going anywhere in this manner?

SPEAKER_09 1:23:21

There are not stairs.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:22

It's not a matter, it's a fake set.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:24

Right. I was just hoping that there was some kind of elevation here.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:27

And we're trapped.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:28

Sir, what is it that you want with those that have been mocked with your circle?

SPEAKER_09 1:23:32

Well, so you know, here's the thing. At least from what the one tells me, is you need to give to be given, so I'm giving him you.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:41

Well, you could have them at this point if I can go. Are you serious? We've all bonded these past few hours.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:48

Martha Lou.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:49

I met you yesterday. I'm I have a lot of life left to live, and I'm not ready to give it up like my man George did. My man. I don't want to be lost here.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:58

You start to hear the sound again. You know, the one from earlier. The wind blowing, turning into a moan, turning into the earth groaning. Okay, so here's the thing. I like your offer, and I'm willing to entertain options. So here's what we can do. We can have the southern one, and the rest of you can go free. Okay, so that's one option. The other option is all of you can go. I mean, not leave, but you can all be given away uh to the one. Uh, and the other option is well, the other option's not good. Okay, so the other option is you have to fight to the death. Whoever survives, you will ultimately be sacrificed to Dagon. So that's just how it's gonna how it's gonna be.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:46

I think it makes the most sense that we sacrifice the oldest. Martha, you have lived a long life, however, we are very young.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:53

Yeah, I still have to finish grad school. Come on. Save this planet and all the sharks.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:00

Oh, yeah, she's got she's got a lot of life to live with that student debt. You really gotta make sure people get the money back.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:06

Yeah, making the minimum payments, and I deferred, but it's okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:10

Truly, that's the real curse.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:12

The forever curse. Listen, this place is barbaric, but it doesn't sound like we're gonna make it out alive one way or another.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:19

What do you mean we?

SPEAKER_07 1:25:21

Uh I mean you too, honey. As cute as you are, he's gonna take you as well. He's not taking us. You're gone. He said he only wanted the two of us. That's right. But if you were listening, Regan, you would have heard that he said none of us are gonna make it alive. That was option C.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:37

The option one did invite involved a couple of us going free.

SPEAKER_07 1:25:41

Well, good luck, honey. I'll be here to haunt you afterwards. Don't you worry.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:45

Okay, so here's the other thing though, okay? So we have, like I said, we have options. Someone, someone's gotta go, right? Cause Dagon's hungry. I've been hearing about it for a long time, and I wanna feed him.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:55

Where are you, sir? Where are you?

SPEAKER_09 1:25:57

Where am I indeed? Yeah, so I'm in my house.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:00

At this point, I'll just fucking go, honestly. But can you just come and judicate this for us, really? We just need someone to ref this whole thing.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:08

Okay, so I I'm just gonna do that remotely from here. The microphones work just fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:14

Why are you being so scared? No, hold on. Technological failures are such a problem. Honestly, the rocks really fuck everything up. Come on, man. Just come over here. I'll give myself up, that's totally fine. At this point, I don't want to be burdened by anyone's incompetence any longer. Just fucking help us out and put me out of my misery.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:35

Okay, so I would go there totally, except the thing is Dagon's really hungry right now, and I already told him he was gonna eat tonight, and uh sometimes he's not a picky eater.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:44

Where okay, where where is he?

SPEAKER_09 1:26:46

Where is he? Can you not feel it in the ground? Oh Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:50

We must find the pip. Is there nowhere to go besides the front door?

SPEAKER_09 1:26:55

As you stand, stunned by the falsity that is Dagon Manor, the middle of the floor begins to fall one board at a time, into an endless void.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:03

Is there an axe in here or anything?

SPEAKER_09 1:27:06

There's not an axe.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:07

I move too slow and start to fall. Is there anything in this house that would be able to help us?

SPEAKER_09 1:27:13

There's something in someone's hand, I believe, that might be able to help you.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:16

Oh shit, right. Okay. Well, I'm gonna go to the door or the fucking walls, the plywood walls, and I'm gonna like bang on it with the rock.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:23

Let's roll for it.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:25

Oh my god. If this works. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:30

Fuck, we're doomed. I don't see how this would help us.

SPEAKER_09 1:27:33

You are not successful in breaking down the door, and on the backswing, the rock actually bounces back and takes out CC. I'm talking about full head splatter.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:43

Ouch!

SPEAKER_09 1:27:44

Okay, so that was a pretty good sacrifice. I wasn't expecting that choice.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:48

Can I come back to life?

SPEAKER_09 1:27:49

You cannot, you're dead.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:50

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 1:27:51

At this point, this is clearly as chaotic an ending as last year.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:55

At this point, Veronica has moved herself quite a distance from this happy.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:00

You try again, and you are once again not successful.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:03

A third time.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:04

This time, you swing and you crack the door right open.

SPEAKER_03 1:28:08

I'm gonna run out the door.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:09

Regan runs out the door. I'm going to follow. You continue to follow. You barely make it off of a you know piece of wood that's about to fall into the void, but your foot lands on the actual ground and you escape.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:21

I'm also following.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:23

Oh, Martha Lou. Everyone's rolled a four or five trying to escape, and I absolutely love it. All three of you escape. You make it out of the house. Where do you go?

SPEAKER_03 1:28:32

I want to go find this fucker on the left side of the property.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:35

I want to roll to channel my intuition to find the source of his voice. Roll for it. Let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_07 1:28:42

Hold on. I'm gonna follow whatever Veronica does.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:45

I'm having a vision. Ooh, it's a six, bitch.

SPEAKER_09 1:28:48

Oh Paris, you rolled a six. So that means you're gonna channel your energy. You start to feel the brain waves, right? The things from the air. Whatever you feel when you're, you know, a psychic or whatever it is that you are, and you're channeling and you're channeling and you're channeling. The vibes. The vibes. You got the vibes that are coming in. They start coming in and they lead you towards the old church.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:10

He is this way, I am certain of it.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:12

I follow Veronica.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:14

All three of you head towards the old church. I open the church door this time, not trembling, but with confidence. You find small rocks.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:22

Okay, I'll take a rock.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:23

Looking into the church, nothing. Nobody. Your intuition might have been wrong.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:29

No, he is here. I swear. He may be somewhere hidden, concealed.

SPEAKER_07 1:29:33

Maybe under the rocks.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:35

I begin to search the area for booby traps or trapdoors. You search the area, and you find only one door leading you out to the cemetery behind the old church.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:43

I go out to the cemetery.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:45

Yeah. You look around the cemetery. It's small. There's maybe like twelve markers at most.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:51

Regan, be careful. There is a cliff nearby.

SPEAKER_03 1:29:53

I'm inspecting the grave markers. Looking for an entrance.

SPEAKER_09 1:29:58

You inspect the grave markers. You notice two. They look the best. One of them says Gerald, the other one says Edith.

SPEAKER_03 1:30:06

See if there's uh trapdoor entrances, things like that.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:09

You poke around. The gravestones snap in half. They're styrofoam. It appears Gerald and Edith were never real.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:16

I would like to check the rest of the stones and see if any of them are real.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:19

You check the rest of the stones. One snaps in half. One's real, but it's so faded you can barely read it.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:25

I withdraw a lighter from my purse. The lighter I used to light the sage from earlier in an attempt to read the inscription. You read it.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:32

On it it says Philip Finch, also known as Pip. What's the year? The year 1975.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:40

That damn pip was so shocking.

SPEAKER_09 1:30:42

You hear from the earth a loud groan. The wind hits, the rocks shake, the ground begins to move once again.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:49

At this point, I would like to retreat to the church and attempt to channel the guidance and support of CeC, recently deceased. Recently deceases.

SPEAKER_09 1:31:01

Oh, you retreat into the old church and you start channeling your inner Cece. I rolled a four. You're channeling. Oh, we're channeling right now. Let's see if Cece can appear.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:09

I'm back, bitches! What is going on? Why haven't you killed him yet?

SPEAKER_03 1:31:16

He's a fucking ghost.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:18

He's a ghost?

SPEAKER_06 1:31:19

You have insight beyond the cave. What is it we must do?

SPEAKER_01 1:31:22

You must dig up that grave. Take the hand and put it in another tree.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:33

Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna get the fucking bones. I'm gonna make my nose bleed on the bones. We'll see if I can see the ghost. Are any of you gay? Yes, I'm gay. Fantastic. Honestly, you're probably the hero of this story. Okay, I'm gonna go to the fucking Phillips grave and like try to use my rock to start digging up the ground.

SPEAKER_05 1:31:54

Ooh, bitch, this cliff's about to collapse with you on it.

SPEAKER_03 1:31:57

Honestly, I'm driven to madness. Fuck it. There's no boat coming for us.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:02

You grab the rock, you start to dig into the grave. You're moving dirt. It looks like you're opening something up. There could be something underneath this. There could be something in the grave. You keep digging and digging and it keeps going. Where the hell is this grave? It's so deep. You dig so much that you're six feet down. Still, no grave. What the hell was supposed to be in here? And then you hit metal. Clink. There's something in there. What do you do?

SPEAKER_03 1:32:27

I keep going. I try to open it.

SPEAKER_09 1:32:29

You start clearing around this metal item and you pick it up. It's a metal circle.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:34

At this point, I have become possessed by something otherworldly and begin burying Regan alive at the bottom of this grave. Eyes rolled into the back of my head, hair blowing wildly in the wind.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:44

While she's doing that, what the fuck is this thing that's in my hand?

SPEAKER_09 1:32:47

You're holding the crown of Dagon in your hand.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:50

I put the crown on.

SPEAKER_07 1:32:52

I stop Veronica by pushing her off the cliff.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:56

Gotta roll for that one. Can I roll to dodge it? Oh shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:03

Oh, poor Veronica tumbles off the edge of the cliff. What does she say on the way down?

SPEAKER_07 1:33:08

Meu.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:11

But as she falls in slow motion, looking so hot, the camera pans to one of the gravestones, revealing her name. And she has been a ghost all along.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:22

You now have the crown of Dagon on your head. Veronica has died. Martha Lou is above you looking down into the grave.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:30

Honey, what did you just kill for me? Reagan, what's going on down there?

SPEAKER_09 1:33:35

What's going on down there?

SPEAKER_05 1:33:36

What are you doing down there for, mate?

SPEAKER_03 1:33:38

We're in Australia.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:39

Martha Lou has also become possessed by a British ghost. You're right, babes.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:43

I found this crown and I think it belongs to that demon. But I think this crown makes me rich.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:48

You're just her type.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:51

I'm gonna try climbing out of the grave.

SPEAKER_09 1:33:54

Regan reaches his hand out. In an attempt to grab Martha Lou's. When they hear a voice, it's Pip. Pip approaches from behind them. Uh hey. So it looks like this weekend was successful, huh? Looks like we got a couple.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:07

Sweetie. I'm just gonna stare at him.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:09

What are you on about? What are you like, mate?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:12

Does Martha suddenly look 30 years younger?

SPEAKER_09 1:34:14

Martha does not. Martha is a beautiful older woman.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:18

Feel great about that.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:19

Okay, so here's the thing. Um, the sacrifice was successful. The two, perfect. Like, not hungry anymore, but there's no fairy coming back. So I just, you know, that w that was not gonna happen ever.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:31

Oh, Pip, we've got bad news for you, honey. Regan? What's the bad news, love?

SPEAKER_03 1:34:36

You want me to kill him?

SPEAKER_07 1:34:37

I thought he's already a guest. Well, I think we've gotta take care of this, don't you? He's gotten rid of our friends, we gotta get rid of him.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:44

I agree. Oh friends.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:46

I'm gonna move in on Pip with the rock. I will follow because I also have a rock. He's a ghost. He can feel pain.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:53

Let's see our success. Regan strikes Pip. Pip falls to the ground.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:57

Martha provides moral support.

SPEAKER_09 1:34:58

Martha swings the rock, but not too hard, because she ain't gonna try that hard to kill this ghost. The ghost, stunned, looks up and says, Well, I guess I'll go now. Uh, just take care of the island, and uh well, I'm I'm glad you're a happy couple, that's all.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:13

Isn't this a nice neat ending here? You know, this this don't feel right in my heart. What would feel better to you?

SPEAKER_07 1:35:19

Well, I can think of a few things, but maybe there's a way we could have our friends back here.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:25

What do you propose? Sexy seance, you say.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:28

I'd like to roll to bring back both of our friends, Cece and Veronica.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:32

With a seance or a Christian seance.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:35

Now you can call it whatever you want. I just want him here. Or is that uh some of that sum of the magic you got there? Well, we just gonna have to see, aren't we?

SPEAKER_09 1:35:42

Martha Lou tries to channel. She puts her hands together and prays to the Lord that one of her friends should be brought back. But who will it be? He doesn't respond, but she hears it in her heart. It's only gonna be one of them.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:54

Should we roll Alexis and I?

SPEAKER_01 1:35:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:35:56

Who gets a hire? I got a six.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:59

I got a fucking one.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:01

Veronica suddenly levitates from the cliff's edge from whence she fell, looking hotter than ever, floating midair. She slowly descends to join her friends once again.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:13

Allo, what has happened? Oh, I think I think we're a couple now. My bad. I think we're a thropple now.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:20

This is perfect, I'm European and Zephyr bisexual.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:25

And with that, a new love is found, and poor Cece will never finish grad school. But that's okay, because she was never going to anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:34

Honestly, probably for the best, she had a lot of debt ahead of her, and it didn't sound like she had the greatest grasp of science.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:41

She also seemed to have no cultural awareness whatsoever. Never saw a movie, heard a song, or read a book. Well, there you have it, folks.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:48

We've had three deaths in in the Isle of Paisley. But would you hack it or would you slash it?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:54

Oh, hack it for sure.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:56

It's giving hack.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:58

It's a solid hack. Oh, for sure. Confused love story? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:02

I hacked it at the name Isle of Paisley.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:07

But also, there were surprise gay vibes. So maybe soft hack.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:12

Oh, yeah. There was definitely some representation there. Also, I'm gonna say it's a soft slash for Paris' uh French accent.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:18

Honestly, my accent, zero out of ten. You two held it together. Yeah, everyone's like Ryan.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:27

Your accent was great. There was one line that you delivered with such confidence that I was like, oh man.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:37:33

Oh, you exude the sexiness of a good Southern woman.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:36

Yeah, I think I think everything just goes into the sexy version of whatever accent I'm trying to do. This is supposed to be a very classy Southern woman, not a sexual Southern woman.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:46

There you have it, folks. The Isle of Paisley is a universal hack, but a couple nods towards Soft Slash, but not quite there. Now, we've had a lot of fun playing. I hope you've had fun listening. We've really enjoyed being with you for four years, and we hope for many more. Now, while we've had a good time here, it doesn't have to end here by any means. We want to know what you think. Keep in mind there are a number of ways you can reach out to us, starting with our website, hackorslash.live.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:13

And on our social media accounts on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:16

And now, if you are really from the South and you've got something to say to me about this accent, I'd love to hear it. And if you listen this far, you deserve to talk to us anyway. So please reach out to our website. That's Hackorslash.live. You don't have to put www in the front. My niece just told me that the other day. But please let us know what you thought. We can't wait to hear from you.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:37

Or alternatively, if you've also appreciated the deep literary references to the good sir at Gal and Poe, then you can feel free to drop your own written line by submitting an email to feedback at hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:50

And if you have enjoyed listening to this episode, you must know that I've had a vision of you becoming one of our patrons. You can visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to earn cool perks for as low as $1 a month. But don't forget, if you decide to join F3 or $5 tier during the month of October, you will receive our fourth anniversary Halloween poster.

SPEAKER_09 1:39:09

So remember folks, don't let people sign into your DMs. We'll see you next time.