SPEAKER_04 0:04

Alexis is safe when it's hatching.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to the spooky season with Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Have you ever heard of Bayou Beavers? If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack, a total joke, waste of time, or a slash.

SPEAKER_06 0:27

Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with the perspective we all gain from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac, who wants to be in the Halloween video, the gore lover Alexis, shut your hole, and the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_04 0:48

Yeah, well your nipples are dumb.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

This week we're checking out a 2006 slasher that features the tagline, it's not a remake, it's not a sequel, and it's not based on a Japanese one. Before we see what all the fuss is about, though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

We definitely need to circle back on those taglines. We recently reviewed the film Jennifer's Body, one of my personal all-time faves, and I will say it did very well amongst our team that week. And as always, we wanted to hear from our listeners. In a delightful turn of events, Jennifer's Body has received in the polls a universal slash.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

That's a certified slash.

SPEAKER_04 1:25

Yeah, we have failed to find anybody who's mad about this movie, though I am sure they exist. Maybe all the teenage boys that saw this in high school when it came out.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

I can agree that that is probably not the case.

SPEAKER_06 1:35

Yeah, I don't think any teenager in high school goes, Megan Fox, ew.

SPEAKER_03 1:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:40

Wait, also, Mac, you weren't on this episode, but have you seen Jennifer's Body? I have. I saw it fairly close to when it uh when it came out.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

You were the Target Augins.

SPEAKER_06 1:48

You actually were, yeah. And do you recall it being? I actually was. And it would have been a slash. Yeah, it's an enjoyable movie. Fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Wow. Nothing feels better with a certified slash than knowing that even retroactively it would still be a universal slash.

SPEAKER_04 2:03

I can't take away from the fun that is that film. If you have not seen Jennifer's Body at this point, watch it. It's fantastic. We have some comments from our listeners though. Tony on Twitter said, When the craft meets mean girls, a solid flick that ages very well, incredible performances, and notable supporting cast. This movie for sure gets a tit. I mean a slash. And I love that description. It's very craft and mean girls. We have another comment from one of our patrons, Freya, who said, Jennifer's body is like Jekyll and Hyde, but for hot people. The targeted audiences weren't ready for the brutal horrors of being a teenage girl shown through a feminist lens, Hershey's Blood and All, but it's just the perfect late 2000s bitchy horror. Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox are so electric, Diablo Cody's one-liners are tightly written, and a succubus killer is always welcome as far as I'm concerned. Don't be lime green jello. It's a solid slash.

SPEAKER_02 2:49

The lime green jello still hits.

SPEAKER_04 2:51

Finally, we have one more comment from our friend Rob. Rob said, I am so happy. I think this is the first time I have agreed with everyone on the show. Love this movie. And that just warms my heart because we are always doing a little dance with Rob. Sometimes he hates what we're saying, sometimes he loves it. There's always at least one of us who's sending him into madness.

SPEAKER_02 3:09

And sometimes there's only one of us holding on to redemption.

SPEAKER_04 3:12

Spoiler alert, it's almost never me. Now, as we close out October, we do want to thank everyone who has joined our Patreon family this month. Our new blood drive has been more successful than we had ever anticipated, and we're so excited to hear from all of our new listeners and patrons. If you haven't already, check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to keep the fun going. And if you haven't joined, it's never too late to visit patreon.com slash hacker slash. And that's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

When director Adam Green attended summer camp at the age of eight, he was introduced to the idea of Hatchet Face, a fabled figure counselors use to ward kids away from a certain cabin. After Lights Out one night, Green went on to scare his fellow campers by sharing a backstory he made up for the character. A story so frightening to the other kids, he nearly got kicked out of camp. Now more than 20 years later, Green joined forces with producer Sarah Elbert and cinematographer Will Barrett to help bring that old camp story to life. The group invested in plane tickets and swamp tour admissions so they could film the teaser trailer for the project. The teaser trailer gained momentum and the team gained backers, with many calling the project a return to the slasher genre. It gained so much support, in fact, that it managed to cast titans of horror like Tony Todd, Robert England, and Kane Otter in supporting roles. Now the film ultimately premiered to audiences in 2006, but released on DVD in 2007, and households across the country were able to explore what happens when a tour group in New Orleans find themselves trended in a swamp. A swamp haunted by one Victor Crowley. This week we're talking about Hatchet. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_03 4:39

So believe it or not, I actually saw this movie a month ago for the first time. Somehow I was scrolling on Amazon and wanted to download a movie to watch on the plane, and I guess we'll figure out maybe why I picked this one. I have no idea. I was like, oh, looks good. Downloaded it, and here we are today. Me watching it a second time.

SPEAKER_04 5:00

Of all the movies to watch on a plane, this one is very breastfilled.

SPEAKER_03 5:03

Agree.

SPEAKER_06 5:04

I know how it happened. It's the magic of AI. They knew what you liked and they knew what to predict that you might want to watch in the future, and thus you did.

SPEAKER_03 5:11

Boobs and gore and boobs and gore and boobs and gore. They know me so well. So well.

SPEAKER_04 5:16

It should come as no surprise that I have not seen this movie before. I had never heard of it. I actually thought it was uh Ratchet, and it was going to be the story of Nurse Ratchet, which is a name that I keep hearing. I don't know who that is, but I'm sure I'll figure that out one day.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

On Netflix, it's great.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

Gotcha. So I thought this was gonna be that. Um, but at one point I saw the name Victor Crowley on a t-shirt in this movie, and I was like, do I know that name? It sounds really familiar.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

So let me tell you a little story of how this movie worked its way into our lineup. Alexis and I were doing our uh October planning and we were picking out which movies we'd want anchored into the schedule, and we were looking for a slasher, one to really just wrap up the month. My mom had recently found a huge stack of old horror DVDs that I left behind when I moved, and this movie was among them. Now, why this movie was among them, I'm unclear because I'd never seen it before. I've heard of it so many times. I've seen Victor Crowley's uh Toonie Terror NECA figure, what I'm shopping around for horror figures all the time, and I know that Daniel Harris, who played Jamie in Halloween four and five, is actually in the second and third Hatchet films. So I've had the desire to watch it, but I've never actually pulled the trigger until now. Now, that being said, I was expecting, knowing that there are a few iconic horror actors and actresses in this film, I was expecting some pretty high quality from the jump. I was expecting a lot of blood, I was expecting some gore, but I was really expecting that warm blanket feeling I get from watching some solid slashers. And I was expecting really just a retread of some of the tropes, but I was hoping that it'd feel kind of like behind the mask the rise of Leslie Vernon, where it's very tongue-in-cheek and they know exactly what they're doing. But we'll see if that translated. What were you all expecting?

SPEAKER_06 7:05

Oh, Chris, we had very different experiences watching this movie, or at least starting, like going into it, because you know, I I had never even heard of it until just like Paris, I never heard of it until it landed on the watch list. But I I think I read a synopsis. I don't think I even had to watch the trailer, and so I went in expecting very low quality and very poor storytelling. I didn't actually realize that there was going to be celebrity cameos in it. So it's so funny how our different circumstances led us to expect very different things.

SPEAKER_03 7:34

Oh, yeah. Sounds like it. It's really interesting because when I am trying to download a movie for the plane, I try to pick something where people don't think I'm psychotic. You pick this? Yes, because I said, Oh, this looks safe. I did read a few comments on the movie and the description. I said, Oh, this might be something I it's suitable to watch on a plane. And I was getting the same vibes, Chris. Very Les Rise of Leslie Vernon. And I was like, oh, Tucker and Dale versus Evil. I'm like, this is more of a comedy. This will be great. This will be fine.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

For sure, more of a comedy, but even the cover of this movie, of like the DVD slip, indicates probably shouldn't watch this on a plane. It's just a bloody hatchet.

SPEAKER_03 8:17

I mean, I figured it'd be dark. I got very B movie vibes from this when I was reading and looking at everything. So I figured it might be safe where everything would be mediocre and not so frontal, if y'all know what I mean.

SPEAKER_06 8:29

I think safe usually corresponds with something like a Pixar movie or I don't know, something you would find on like the Disney channel.

SPEAKER_03 8:36

Do you know what I'm talking about though?

SPEAKER_06 8:38

Something with Julia Roberts. Yeah, that would be per that would be safe. I don't know if like a bloody axe would say safe.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

Okay, what says safe in a horror movie on the cover?

SPEAKER_06 8:47

Well, nothing. I mean, like you could watch like hocus pocus and get away with it.

SPEAKER_03 8:50

See, I'm not watching on the plane. I don't even watch that. I don't watch comedy. I don't watch other movies now except for horror movies. It's so bad.

SPEAKER_04 8:57

Alexis is safe for his hatchet.

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Alexa's like hocus pocus. Get that weak shit out of here.

SPEAKER_06 9:02

Yeah, that apple juice.

SPEAKER_03 9:04

Pretty much, pretty much.

SPEAKER_06 9:05

You could watch Harry Potter on the plane.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

Oh, yeah, I could, but I it's just not I wanted to watch something new that was gonna entertain me for the three-hour flight I was on because I do not do well anything over an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_02 9:17

I tried watching Last House on the left on the plane. Mm-mm. Nope. Not as a big old no for me, dog.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

Yeah, you're turning your phone screen or iPad screen.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

That was right when I got like a gigantic iPad instead of the smaller one I normally had. So I was like, you can't even conceal it. I uh I got close to the scene that I knew was coming. I was like, oh no, no, no, no, I'm gonna switch to Disney Plus and was watching the story of the real dog that set up Balto for success. Great movie. That's cute.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

As far as expectations go, from the group chat, I had some very specific expectations. One, I expected this movie to be very quotable. And two, Chris had said she had owned this on DVD. What she didn't say was that she didn't know why she had it on DVD because she'd never seen it. So the whole time I'm watching this, I'm like, Chris loves this movie. This is a movie Chris loved enough to buy on DVD.

SPEAKER_02 10:04

Oh, you should also know that I also own the 2007 Halloween for some fucking reason. I hate that movie. I don't know why I own these DVDs.

SPEAKER_04 10:12

Well, listen, it resulted in me having some very mixed feelings while watching it. Half the time I was trying to be like, what is it that Chris loved this movie so much that she bought it on DVD? And to be quite honest, I thought it might have been the boobs in the beginning. I was like, maybe she was young. Maybe she was just like, look at all these boobs. I want this on DVD. This was me trying to rationalize it.

SPEAKER_02 10:32

Me as a young, budding lesbian coming to terms with my sexuality. This is like the closest you can get to porn. No.

SPEAKER_04 10:39

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Actually, if you know me well, you know that the less boobs, the better.

SPEAKER_04 10:43

Which is what I thought. Literally, it was a confusing time.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

Could be very confusing. There were a lot of movies in that pile that were questionable.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Okay, hold on. There's some fucking great ones though, so don't come for my pile.

SPEAKER_03 10:54

Oh no, I'm not coming for your pile. Pile is quality. I loved it. I loved it. And your mom was so excited too. Look at these, look at these.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

It makes me wonder if my mom has seen it. Because I know she's been through just about every DVD in this house. I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 11:08

It makes me so glad I don't have a pile of DVDs because I think at some point I just like said adieu to all of them and just moved to streaming. But if I did, it would literally be nothing but like 90s action thrillers. Like it would be Denzel Washington, basically.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

I also said adieu to DVDs and then somehow bought the whole Twilight collection on DVD and recently found that ended up throwing them away because I own them all digitally now. But it was uh physical media is not my jam, which I know is sacrilegious to a lot of our listeners. A lot of them really love some Blu-rays. I just can't justify it for myself.

SPEAKER_06 11:45

I think the best part about physical media is ripping it into a Plex library. That's about as far as I'll go. But you know, watching this movie having the low expectations that I had, it just felt like a pure B movie without the mass appeal of something like a Sharknado, like when B movies like hit mainstream. Um but I gotta be honest, my wife had to keep waking me up while watching this. I fell asleep several times. It could be because I was tired, but it also could be because I really just wasn't bought into it that much.

SPEAKER_03 12:15

Very interesting for seeing this movie the second time and knowing exactly what happens, I was still fairly entertained. I picked up a lot on the one-liners, and I had more of a comical experience watching it this time than ooh, do I need to be churning this? What's going on on the plane, worried about all of that? But yeah, I was entertained, surprisingly, while watching this movie.

SPEAKER_02 12:42

Entertained is such an interesting feeling to have for this movie, Alexis. But I 100% get why you were entertained. I think this movie is a bloodbath, and sometimes unapologetically so. And it's kind of like the movie just trying to like tread water until it can get to the moment of being really, really bloody. But I found myself on this weird roller coaster with this film because it starts out real bad, and I was just like, why the fuck do I own this movie? Mind you, I didn't even watch it on the DVD, I actually watched it on Tubi because I don't have a DVD player anymore. I don't know what I'm doing with my life, but I started out super unsatisfied with the quality of the of the copy that I was watching, trying not to hold out against it, looking at some of the acting and the delivery, still like it lets a lot to be desired. And then it it felt like it was doing this dance between is this intentionally bad or intentionally comedic? Are they playing into it being so bad it's good, or are they just not quite funny enough for it to actually stick? And I found myself really struggling with that until we started getting a lot of action in the swamp, and I was actually entertained because I stopped caring. I stopped caring about what the intention was and started having fun more so at the movie's expense rather than alongside the movie, which I think is still a little problematic, but I did get to the point where I was entertained. I was entertained enough that I actually wanted to watch the second one right after, which was a very big surprise to me. The other thing that surprised me though is that there is a very big disparity between who is cast in this movie and then the quality of the performances you get. It's like the three main people who are really prominent for being in horror films that are in this movie, they have their bits, they play them well, and then everything else is just like what level of film are we in? How many times have you acted? Period. And I found that disparity to be really alarming.

SPEAKER_03 14:48

Hey, we have the Girl Scout from the Adams family in this.

SPEAKER_04 14:52

We sure do, Alexis.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

Showing her boobs.

SPEAKER_02 14:55

We have a lot of people in this. Doesn't mean it was great. It gave me not definitely not anywhere near as bad, but it gave me similar feelings that I had when watching Trick. When it's like, okay, Jamie Kennedy, okay, Omar Epps, I know y'all are better than this. Thank God Tom Atkins is here to save the day. That's how this movie, in comparison to the rest of its cast, made me feel. It's like a almost almost equivalent ratio of like talent between its cameos and its actual main cast.

SPEAKER_03 15:28

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from in that. It seems the more you want from the people who just have cameos in, you obviously don't get it. And you think with as much as they were paying them to probably be a part of this film, unless they just volunteered for this, that you'd get a little bit more, or at least utilize the cash you do have. So you guys said I shouldn't be surprised that this was not a movie I shouldn't have seen on the plane because it had a hatchet, but I was just gonna get comical vibes. So I was very surprised, honestly, by how quickly people are dying in this movie and how gory this was. I was not expecting this at all. I think when I saw the dude from Dodgeball, I kind of just figured this was gonna be a flop and everything else is gonna just fall floppy too.

SPEAKER_06 16:16

I'm gonna go back to the cameos because that's the thing that surprised me the most. I think, like you know, reading a synopsis of it, getting into the into the movie, you don't immediately get cameos. I mean, you well, rewind for a second. You get an immediate cameo, of course, with with Robert England, but um it's not like one after the other, right? So you're like, oh, a little Robert England, like they must have known somebody, and they got a little hookup. Okay, and then you keep going, you're like, okay, like what is this cast? And then you get you know, Tony Todd, and I'm thinking, oh my god, if they just keep doing this this whole film, I'm like bought in just because of the sprinkles of cameos, but it's just the two, and and of course we get uh Kane playing, you know, playing a big baddie the whole movie, but um, you know, I just didn't see that happening, even like even somebody that you might not think of of as being like a big celebrity horror, you know, person because you never see their face really. Um, I just didn't think that this level of production could have afforded anybody in their caliber.

SPEAKER_02 17:15

That's fair. It actually was really cute. I watched a making of like behind the scenes video of how this film came together, and there's a point where Adam Green is on the phone with Robert Englund, and you just know he's like so in love with him, and he's just blown away and trying to keep it cool, and when he gets off the phone, he's like, that was amazing. Who am I? You can see the joy radiating from this soul of like this person who loves horror movies, and I will say, looking at like what this ex movie's experience is like, I'd like to see Adam Green, I think, make this movie again today. Because for this being really, really early on, I think he made one movie that was like an hour and a half long before he made this one. And I think seeing his love of horror and seeing the way he was even able to get who he got for this movie within the budget constraints that they got them, I think it it gives me a little bit of hope.

SPEAKER_06 18:08

Oh, this movie came out way too soon, because way too early, I should say. Because you know, 14 years later, 15 years later, we have the land of like Netflix budgets where it's like, oh, you have an idea for a project, here's all the money in the world, like make something happen for us. Like 2019, going into 2020, this would have been like the ideal situation in which to make this movie.

SPEAKER_02 18:28

Yeah, I haven't seen all of Hatchet 2, but even Hatchet 2, the cinematography looks way better with the added budget.

SPEAKER_03 18:35

Ooh, I'm excited. Okay, so you did go into actually watching the second one.

SPEAKER_02 18:40

I started it. It's also on 2B, so it's an option. Mainly because I love Daniel Harris so much. Well, in the second half of the episode, I'll describe how that movie picks up and at what point in time it picks up. It's really it's a really interesting choice that they made, but I think it I I I can see the appeal, and I think I could continue on in the franchise.

SPEAKER_06 19:03

Paris, you look like you have surprises and disappointments burning holes in your pockets.

SPEAKER_04 19:08

Listen, I have them in abundance. I really can't understate how the knowledge that Chris owned this on DVD influenced my watch of this.

SPEAKER_03 19:16

I'm so sorry. This is hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

The whole time I'm grappling with this information. I even said to my boyfriend who sat down halfway through the movie, he's like, Oh, what is this? And I was like, I was like, I'm not quite sure, but Chris owns it on DVD, so I'm I'm still trying to figure it out. Also, right off the bat, I was really surprised how I had completely erased like Girls Gone Wild, Mardi Gras titty beads culture from my mind.

SPEAKER_03 19:40

Same.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

I forgot that was such a thing, but it was such a thing back then.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

That's all I think of when I think of New Orleans, to be quite honest.

SPEAKER_04 19:49

Yeah?

SPEAKER_03 19:50

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

I mean, I don't have boobs nor a desire to see them, so perhaps it's lost on me. But I think with that tone, I was like very much disappointed by like the straight male culture vibe of this movie. Um, like you guys were saying, there were a lot of like discrepancies in performances. I'll even say I was a little bit disappointed with Tony Todd's performance. I was like, he's just here to cash a check, isn't he? And I don't blame him for that.

SPEAKER_02 20:16

He becomes more prominent in the second one.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

I do love hearing that. But something that uh surprised me for the better is that despite all of this, the kills were really good, and some of the kills I think were extremely well done. Specifically, that's there's one I have in mind that I'm sure we're all gonna fight over when it comes to choosing our favorite kills. And it also felt like even though this movie is very much straight mill culture, they put in a little comedy duo in there specifically for me and the rest of the gays.

SPEAKER_02 20:45

Oh, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 20:46

And I appreciated that.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

I saw those two. I'm like, these are vessels for Paris.

SPEAKER_04 20:50

Mm-hmm. They they knew I needed something to latch on to.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Exactly. You're 100% right. I really did purge Girls Gone Wild from my mind, right? Because I think I stopped hearing about that after I left high school. Looking at this movie's dialogue, super problematic. It's the same energy for me as Cabin Fever, which came out even earlier. This one seemed to be more of a I don't know, I think I'd say a less casual, like, oh, I'm saying this because it's the culture, and I believe this because the rest of the movie is so campy and so comedic, it seemed to be pointing fun at versus walking alongside and saying, yes, this is exactly who we are. Let's live in this moment. But I I do think the energy that you just described, Paris, is one of the biggest downfalls of the movie, which is why, again, I'm really actually excited to watch the rest of them and see how it continues to progress. I will say this though I this movie starts out with a moment where I was confused about what I was watching because I was like, is this the fucking prequel to Crawl? Yeah. There's a lot of mbayou energy. It reminds me of that one Scooby-Doo animated film that takes place in Louisiana in the swamp. I think the alligators and that element of that created some for some good really good moments of tension, but beyond that, this movie was not even in the slightest bit frightening.

SPEAKER_03 22:16

Yeah, definitely not. I think it was too campy for me to take at any part seriously. The villain, though, has some sort of aura that could slightly be frightening to people, but I feel like the situations he is put in, including this entire movie, are not frightful at all.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

I think it's because he's again another sympathetic killer.

SPEAKER_03 22:37

Yeah, he is very sympathetic.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

He's another Jason. I mean, he he's a boss. Like, let him do what he does. I'm totally here for it. Victor Crowley, I have nothing against you. But he is another Jason in the sense that he is a person who was tormented, died in a hor horrible way, allegedly, and then you're kind of exp dealing with like what does that person look like in their legend and their spirit? And are they dead or they undead? I don't know, right? It's just the same essence as Jason.

SPEAKER_06 23:05

But not scary, because I was literally falling asleep multiple times throughout the movie.

SPEAKER_03 23:10

Ouch. I mean, you wouldn't be scared either way. That's true. Anything.

SPEAKER_04 23:14

I even did this movie a favor and I said, you know what? Let me put my AirPods in, let me see if it'll get me. And it didn't even seem like it was trying to.

SPEAKER_03 23:22

You gave this movie a lot of energy before you watched It Pierce so much. Chris, you did mention that you got a lot of Friday the 13th vibes, you know, especially from our antagonist. I would agree with that. I think throughout this entire movie it's scattered with a whole bunch of tropes and a whole bunch of pretty much other things that people do in horror movies. And so to me, this didn't really feel too original, but somehow it did, I think, because of the Bayou Beavers. Yeah, I think they randomly put all these things together that are freaking familiar to me, and then somehow it was kind of original-ish, if that makes any sense.

SPEAKER_02 24:07

So here's the thing I don't think it was original in the slightest, but I think it's a movie that's more so trying to be a love letter from a person who loves horror movies to the genre and making his own slasher icon, not for the sake of I want to do what's never been done, but a I want to put together something from my brain that feels like every other horror movie. I don't know that it was 100% successful in that because I think there are other films we've seen that are love letters to the genre that felt more like that. I mean, this movie is packed with a lot though, down from like it's very Friday the 13th, it's very the burning. There's a quote in there from one of the characters who's saying, Maybe, maybe you gotta you gotta shoot him six times to hearken back to Dr. Loomis. And I think that's just what it is, right? I think if this feels good for you in terms of originality, then that's awesome. It probably did its job for you. I think the kills are out of this world. But I I struggle to decide which side of the fence I land on in terms of was it a successful love letter or not?

SPEAKER_06 25:11

I I see it differently than a love letter. You know, I I think it's it's it's an ode for sure, uh, but I I think it's directed at the like that that pulp horror from from the 80s and early 90s. And like when you think of horror icons, I think some of them they could have made one movie and then and been done. This almost feels like it's targeting you know the franchises, the sequels that a lot of those had, where they weren't necessarily like the best, but they were able to churn out a lot of content and see the characters do really crazy things over time. You know, like when I think of Friday the 13th, you know, in relation to this, I don't think of Friday the 13th. I think of Friday the 13th part two through part a million when I think of this movie, or I think of you know, Freddie, like not the first one, but everything after that. I think it really is tying into that moment in horror where like it was really cool to have these big expansive franchises and just go for like 20 years and just like try new things because it's 1991 and you feel like it. So it's it's to me, it's not like it's not a they're not pointing at the original horror stuff where it was like, wow, that was a groundbreaking, like it's not Halloween 1978, right? But it is like that moment where for I would say 10 to 15 years, you could really put out just like a lot of stuff and just see what sticks. It's not original because of that, but I think they went in knowing that like it's not like I want to do something better, I want to do something that's never been done. To me, it seemed like I want to do what they did because I love them. These are very kind words for the originality section.

SPEAKER_04 26:45

I feel like this movie is not remotely original at all. I can't say that there's anything I've seen in this that I hadn't seen before. Even my favorite thing I saw in this reminded me of um King Kong, was it? We can confirm or deny that in the spoiler section. But this movie felt so unoriginal that even the ending did the thing where I was like, Oh, are they gonna do that? Oh yep, they did. And I saw it coming from a mile away. So the lack of originality really kind of I think was a downfall for this movie, as especially for the ending. Oh, the ending was so bad. It was absolute hot garbage.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

Oh my gosh. I was so confused. I had to stop and then Google the ending, and I I needed to confirm. I was stopping just short of taking my DVD to someone else's house to watch the ending that I had on the DVD. I'm like, what the fuck did I just watch?

SPEAKER_03 27:29

I'm confused, dude. But you watched the same ending?

SPEAKER_06 27:31

Yeah, I think we did because I watched it on Amazon as well.

SPEAKER_03 27:34

I did too.

SPEAKER_06 27:35

What did you think about the ending?

SPEAKER_03 27:36

I like the ending, I think it gave nods to other movies that I really appreciated. I don't have many words for the ending other than I wasn't expecting it. To me, it made sense. I'm not sure what you guys are referring to, so I'm excited to explore that in the second half, but it wasn't terrible for me.

SPEAKER_06 27:54

I think there's there's an element to the very end where you're kind of like, okay, I really have to suspend disbelief. But I think the execution of the ending to me was piss poor.

SPEAKER_03 28:06

I agree. Oh, yeah. I'm validating your feelings. Yes, I agree with those. I still thought it wasn't that bad. But you know how I am with movies. We've already talked about this in our free sides beforehand. That any movie that suspends my disbelief, I I'm not questioning at all.

SPEAKER_02 28:20

You really go the extra mile, don't you? Oh, I do. Well, I know for me, the ending severely impacted the way I felt watching this movie. But we'll see how that impacts the actual rating. Now, before we actually start scoring Hatchet, Alexis, how many people died in this film?

SPEAKER_03 28:39

We had a total of 12 deaths in this movie. And what about the animal report? We did have some wildlife in this movie, and the wildlife had some unfortunate endings, but it wasn't too bad. There were no good pups in there that were harmed in this movie, so I think we're good.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

From Alexis's opinion, we're good. Yeah. Which means that Ryan probably would have thought, it's questionable. Questionable, yes. Questionable, but it's no conjuring. That's that's fine. Now let's go ahead and start making our way into our ratings. Hatchet from 2006. Was it a hack or a slash?

SPEAKER_03 29:13

Max not rushing to the mic, so I guess I'll go.

SPEAKER_06 29:15

Well, I I was looking, I was watching you because I know you have some thoughts to share, and I wanted to see how like excited you were to share them. And I think you're I think you're fairly excited.

SPEAKER_03 29:25

I'm so smiley right now, and I don't know why. So I had watched this movie a month ago, and somehow I had the same reaction that I did the first time I viewed this movie to all the one-liners, to the comedy, to the suspense, and and I don't know why that is. I think it's because I can see maybe where the director was coming from and you know his appreciation for horror movies. And I don't think while outwardly I was thinking of that while watching this movie, I definitely got the vibes. And I I like this antagonist. Not sure if it's because I can feel for him or it's just because of the grotesqueness of this movie. The kills are bomb, and I'm not sure if that's what made the movie for me or not, because I could care less about the characters, but I do appreciate B movies for where they come from, and like I mentioned, the kills are absolutely ridiculous in a good way, and I can't wait to unpack that in the second half. But to me, this movie is a slash, and yeah, I have a feeling no one else is gonna agree, but it's I'm I'm I'm standing strong with my slash.

SPEAKER_06 30:28

Be confident.

SPEAKER_03 30:28

I'm trying to.

SPEAKER_06 30:29

Then confianza.

SPEAKER_03 30:30

I I know everyone's gonna rip on this movie tonight, so I have my uh shield up to not take any negative energy in.

SPEAKER_06 30:36

You don't know anything.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Oh, I don't know anything.

SPEAKER_06 30:38

Yeah, we they haven't spoken yet. They're holding stuff in.

SPEAKER_03 30:41

Okay. I might be surprised tonight.

SPEAKER_06 30:44

I think I think it's my turn next here to maybe give you a little bit of what you want. So let me let me sum this up here. Alternate dimension Jason Voorhees has daddy issues instead of mommy issues. He never gets a mask, and he rocks an axe instead of a machete. He abandons his stealth kills for the killing style of a raging bull and moves to the California bayou, which is so obvious it hurts. Spoiler alert, you don't even need to see the movie now. There it is. The movie has an incredibly weak ending, piss poor acting, and gore that's summed up with somebody get a shot of buck a bucket of blood being splashed on a tree. This movie is most assuredly a joke and thus a hack. And I I really feel bad here because I know it's coming from someone who's a huge fan of horror, but maybe this just goes to show, yeah, not every fan deserves to make their own movie.

SPEAKER_04 31:27

Okay, Mac, I do take umbrage with some of the things you have said. Mostly, I enjoyed the shots of the buckets of blood just like flying against a tree in the night sky. But that's one of the few things I enjoyed about this movie. This movie was hot bullshit. Literally, the whole time I'm watching this, I'm like, why does Chris own this on DVD? This is garbage. And I was like, I get it, it's a slasher, and she likes slashers, but like, this isn't even a good slasher. The killer, Alexis, I'll give you, he is sympathetic. The more I saw him, though, the more I was like, this makeup is bad, these effects are bad. It's 2006. Give me CGI or something. Anything that's higher quality, because I know the resources were available. Maybe the budget was maybe the budget wasn't there. Um, the acting was pretty bad. The vibe of the movie was just like very flat and predictable, and the characters I didn't give two shits about, even the ones I liked. I was like, when are these girls gonna die? Because how much longer can we go on for this? I'd say the thing I liked most about this movie was the kills. Some of the kills were really cool. Uh, but otherwise this movie is a total joke and a waste of time, and therefore a hard hack.

SPEAKER_03 32:32

So my fortune telling is slightly coming true, but okay, we'll keep going.

SPEAKER_06 32:36

Well, just we okay we still have Chris to redeem you.

SPEAKER_03 32:39

I don't need redemption tonight. Let's let me put it, let me put it this way.

SPEAKER_06 32:42

Good for you, Alexis.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

She says now, after saying she brought her shield to repel our negative energy. Pick aside.

SPEAKER_06 32:49

I'm just saying that whatever boat that you're on seems to be crashing into a rock in the bayou.

SPEAKER_03 32:54

I'm fine with that.

SPEAKER_06 32:54

But wait, what do you mean California Bayou? Was this not in New Orleans? Are you kidding me?

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Could you not tell it was this is definitely on set for sure.

SPEAKER_06 33:01

So wholeheartedly filmed in the woods in California, except for the shots that are clearly in New Orleans where they were actually, you know, filming there. But got it.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

Disbelief suspended.

SPEAKER_02 33:11

Okay. That's very generous. So look, I said earlier that I had a roller coaster time watching this movie. There's a lot of good in it. This movie is entertaining, but again, it was entertaining at its expense as opposed to along with it. And I think that's where I struggle with it a little bit. Mac, you are so, so right about some shots just being buckets of blood thrown at trees. When we get to the first two kills in the movie and that happens, I'm like, what is this? What am I watching? It felt like it had very much trick energy. Except Trick happened in 2019, and it has no excuse to be doing that at all. And I think where I also struggle, despite that roller coaster that I was on, right? It had its highs, it had its lows, it did some cool loop-de-loops along the way. But that ending, it was like being in roller coaster tycoon, except instead of being the person making the roller coaster that ends in a fiery crash, you were on the fiery crash, and then just put all of a sudden you're not here anymore. And that hurts so much. There are a lot of things in this movie that I have pain points with, but there are also a lot of things that I did enjoy, particularly the kills, particularly Victor Crowley, even though the makeup was bad, even though he's basically just a carbon copy of Jason, I'm not mad at a sympathetic killer. And I think even, you know, one of the things you look at, Mac, he didn't really have daddy issues. He had a father who loved him. And I think he was a k a killer who came from compassion within within his family, as opposed to be just being raised terribly and then unleashed on the world in the way that some others are. So I've been trying to sort out all day how I feel about this movie because ultimately it's a hack, but also it made me want to watch the rest of the movies. So I think where I land on this is a 49.9 and a 50.1%. And right now, in this moment, the 50.1% goes to a very soft slash because ultimately it was a good enough time to step back and just let it go. And it got me interested in the rest of the franchise. There's a lot of shit I have to talk about this movie. At the end of the year, when it comes time to rehash the slash, this will almost undoubtedly be it. But right now, in this moment, I feel like it had enough entertainment value for a very soft slash. A good put on a horror movie, don't take it too seriously, just let it chill in the background and watch some fucking gore unfold. That's this movie. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 35:38

Chris, within that slash, you both said it was a hack and that you will take back the slash in the future. I don't know what we're doing here.

SPEAKER_02 35:45

I said almost undoubtedly. Unless there's another slash that I really regret in the next two months, I think this is gonna be it. But again, right now I'm feeling like I'm coming off of a good mood. I'm coming off of watching this movie, and it got me interested enough to continue the franchise. And I think if this movie was really the pure hack material that I felt it was in the immediate shock of that ending, I wouldn't have kept watching it. But I did, and I think that speaks to something about it. And I also think that I'm really glad this movie exists because it gives Adam Green the jump necessary to ultimately give us Friday the 13th, the video game, which he was a writer for. Bless that man. I know it's been caught up in a legal thing and the game is no longer receiving updates or anything like that, but I think he is constantly making little gifts to fans of horror. And I think that while this may be misguided in some steps, overall, I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_04 36:41

But will you keep the DVD?

SPEAKER_02 36:43

Yeah, the DVD's not going anywhere. Now, will I take it with me when I move? No. But it's gonna stay in this house. Um it's not gonna go in the trash. But with that, Hatchet from 2006 has earned two slashes and two hacks. Now, you can find this movie streaming in a plethora of places, including Amazon Prime and on Tubi, or dig around in your DVD cabinet. You might just have a copy laying around and you don't even realize it yet.

SPEAKER_04 37:06

It's giving Walmart a $5 pin.

SPEAKER_02 37:07

Hey, that's a great deal then. Either way, check it out. Then join us in the second half because I think we can all agree we have some shit to talk. See you in a bit.

SPEAKER_05 37:21

Bayou Bibbs has the best-tasting fish in the bayou with her signature cold clam chowder. Do you love chicken breast? You love fried geta tits. And if you're really hungry, you must be itching for some of Bebs' world-famous swamp crabs. Wash it all down with a nice cold glass of artisanal bog water. Bayou Bibbs, it's not much, but it's here.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Welcome back, folks. You are now entering the spoiler zone for Hatchet, which had us split down the middle, much like Fitcher Crowley's face, with two hacks and two slashes. Now we have a lot to get to here, but before we get into the specifics of our ratings, and expect me to defend mine, we have the matter of gore to get to.

SPEAKER_03 38:02

Now, Alexis, what's the gore score for this movie? This movie is high. That hatchet is used plenty, and it's used to split a lot of limbs in this movie. And sometimes he's using his hands in this movie to split limbs. To be fair, he only used a hatchet like once. Man, it feels like he used it a lot, but now that I'm thinking about it, those arms though, pretty strong.

SPEAKER_06 38:23

He swung it a lot. They were big.

SPEAKER_03 38:25

The better to hold you with.

SPEAKER_06 38:27

I have a feeling though, if you asked for a warm embrace from this guy, he would crush you. Like your spine would poke out of your back.

SPEAKER_03 38:33

Like Marcus. Exactly like Marcus. He just got a bear hug, and unfortunately, he met his demise through that way. Partially.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

I love you so much. I can't control myself.

SPEAKER_06 38:45

Can you just imagine? Like, since he didn't really have dialogue, like the things he was saying, like he just what if he was just trying to love people the entire time? He's like, I just can't quit you, and yet your spine explodes.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

I totally get that because I hug my boyfriend so hard sometimes because I just love him so much that you know you can't show someone how much you love him, so you just like squeeze, and that's me.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

Aww.

SPEAKER_03 39:05

But yeah, I love the body horror in this. And I love that limbs are being thrown in practically every kill. Lots of blood. I am a fan of the bucket being thrown. Same. Yes. Now, if this movie solely was based on that and you didn't see a kill, yes, I'd have a problem. But you that intensifies this for me. The splurting out of Janet's head, like straight out and up. I mean, it's just it's awesome to watch these kills. And it's not too horrific, I think, because this movie is so campy that you're not like, it's a little much, it's saw, it's it's a little graphic. Going into that, Ainsley is actually my favorite kill. You had the dad first, so unfortunately, Robert England had to bounce, and then you have the brother. It really set the tone for the movie in two ways. One, you have him being ripped apart, and then you have his insides being pulled out from his back, which I've never seen in a movie. And then you get Ainsley saying, It hurts, it hurts. And I'm just like, Okay, this is what I signed up for for this movie, and I'm going to enjoy every minute of the comedic value that this movie has, especially mixed in with Gore.

SPEAKER_02 40:17

The it hurts of it all was certainly something that had me thinking, What the fuck? Is this Trick all over again? Oh god, no. No, it was just awful.

SPEAKER_03 40:26

Trick wasn't trying to be funny though. Yeah. Well, early on, this movie it was unclear. I guess because I had seen it twice at this point, so I knew exactly what was going on when I signed up for it.

SPEAKER_04 40:37

I will take the favorite kill before anyone else snatches it up, and it is Miss Janet Permateo. It gave me very much when King Kong snapped that tur dinosaur's jaw in half. Does anybody remember this? Did this happen? Oh, yes, this happened. That happened. Fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 40:53

I was wondering where you were going with that.

SPEAKER_04 40:55

Yeah, that's like literally when he grabbed her the way he did with her hand, like one of his hands on her top teeth and the other one on her bottom teeth. I was like, is he gonna do it? Is he gonna do it? And then the care where did this like really cool sweep around his back, like in this like 360 shot that they were able to like do a sort of cut in that sweep pretty well. And then they just show the effects, and it was practical effects, of just like tearing her face. And the way like her cheekskin tore when it was being ripped apart was so visceral and so satisfying to see that I rewound and watched it twice.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Ooh, love that.

SPEAKER_06 41:27

That was my favorite as well. That wasn't that wasn't actually my favorite. I'm just kidding. I I have a favorite, and it's gonna seem strange, but Marcus's death, the whole bear hug thing, the arms being ripped off, picking him up and just like smashing him against the wall. And the reason it's my favorite, because one, like he just can't he can't do one thing. He can't just like stab you. Like, come on, dude, just like get a small weapon and stab people or punch in their faces or something, or pull them, you know, pull a Michael Myers and just keep it simple. No, he has to like kill them and then like rip their head off or split them in half or whatever it is. But in this one, I think what did it was the actor's face when it started. Like the actor's face is I mean, no, he's he's probably having fun while he's while he's filming the movie, but it just told me that like I'm I'm in on the joke, like, yes, this is silly, but like, oh, I'm so scared, oh, I'm in such pain. But like also, this is ridiculous. And so, like, that's that sold it to me that kill.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

Absolutely. And think about this his death in this movie was much more eventful than his death in Scream 3 when he just fell.

SPEAKER_06 42:27

Yeah, that's always a lame death to have.

SPEAKER_02 42:29

Marcus, great death, Janet Permateo, real great death as well. And I'm torn, I'm torn between two. One because I think Doug Shapiro's head twisting off was so well deserved, and I really enjoyed just the moment of that. But the one I'm gonna go with for pure theatrics is Jenna, who had her jaw belt sanded off, then she was later impaled on a pole. Which, how dramatic can you be, Victor? And it's the logistics of this that make it all the richer. Because, sure, you can think it was probably a portable belt sander with batteries, but I think it's hilarious that he'd have batteries, like just charging, waiting for this moment. I think it'd be hilarious to think, let me go grab this off the charger, go do some DIY, fuck some people up. But then the alternative to that is that he actually ran an extension cable and had this plugged into power to be able to belt sand someone's jaw off with that reach from being near any kind of actual building. And I don't know why my head just went into thinking about that, but those little details just made it that much more absurd and comedic. And I think that kill is actually what saves the movie for me.

SPEAKER_06 43:41

It's interesting, you know, because you have to kind of reason it away. But if you were to watch like norm core action movies like The Equalizer and that kind of stuff, like that's what the heroes are doing the entire time. Like they have like, oh, I happen to have like a power drill nearby, so I'm gonna use this to like take out a bad guy. But when it's a bad guy using that kind of stuff, you have to be like Yeah, okay, that's kind of silly. But in reality, it's just like, did they did they use their resources effectively and was it entertaining? If so, I'm down.

SPEAKER_03 44:08

That's true. That totally works. So obviously, this movie has a ton of gore in it, a ton of kills. You see, full on. So the unrated director's cut actually has a full minute of extra gore. But unfortunately, the evil people at the MPAA asked the filmmakers to cut out that for the theatrical release. Interesting enough, hopefully Chris actually has the unrated DVD because that one has all the gore that was cut out from the film to earn the R rating. As a matter of fact, I do. So I'm upset now because you probably saw more gore than we did. No, I watched it on Tubi. Remember, I don't have a DVD player in my house. Oh yeah, because what are those anymore?

SPEAKER_02 44:53

I think there, to be fair, there actually is one in my living room, but I wasn't gonna go use that. I wanted to watch in bed, taking notes on my iPad leisurely. And setting the scene. Exactly, with my hue lights behind the TV and everything. If I have to compromise and watch it on Tubi, so be it.

SPEAKER_03 45:09

My favorite visual of this movie, because it's very limited, is Victor Crowley himself. The way he looks is not very common, I feel like, in horror movies. I'm sure Mac will disagree. There are a few disfigured villains in this horror universe, but as he progressively got bloodier and bloodier and you couldn't really tell his face, I just thought that was awesome. And I love the effects that were used for that.

SPEAKER_06 45:39

Yeah, I mean, I obviously disagree because I think it's basically like you know, a redone or alternate universe version of Jason.

SPEAKER_03 45:47

It's better than Jason, I'm just gonna say.

SPEAKER_06 45:49

I think it does a good job at showing his brute strength, though, because like his entire body from head to toe really shows what a tank this guy is.

SPEAKER_04 45:57

Yeah, he is absolutely enormous and absolutely stacked, and from a distance, absolutely scary.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

The hair, too. Once the hair gets matted with the blood, I'm just very concerned at this point because he looks even more terrifying because he's a little less human.

SPEAKER_06 46:11

I think I'm gonna kind of go with the same visual element, but to a specific scene. Um, and I think that's the image of Victor Crowley on fire, was my favorite visual element. Um, because I didn't think they would actually be able to pull it off. I thought it was gonna be like one of those after effects things. Um, but like, no, the dude's on fire, um, and then like does the little twirl and like falls flat and is is burning for a good bit. And I think that was an effective visual that I've I found pretty impressive considering the budget they had, because I'm sure the fireproofing stuff is not cheap.

SPEAKER_03 46:42

Oh, I'm sure. And I read somewhere that it said they didn't they really tried to limit any post-production like add-ons, and especially in terms of the special effects.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

There's not a lot to choose from in this movie in terms of things being truly aesthetically pleasing. One thing I do enjoy though is the spooky haunted vibe that some of the costumes tried to possess. You know, like the boat tour guide, like Tony Todd as Reverend Zombie and his get up. I was a fan of that. Now, that's a generous thing to say because while I want my favorite visual to be The Swamp, it was some of the most challenging elements to actually see. I do respect them for shooting night for night and not day for night during this whole production. But it was uh again, I really want to see this movie remade because I think they'd have the potential to do it so much better now. But at least the costume work, big fan.

SPEAKER_04 47:36

Thank you, Chris, for buying me some time because I've come up with my favorite visual element now, and it is the scene when they are running through the graveyard. Graveyards in New Orleans are one of the things that I look forward to visiting most when I finally get to go there. Uh it's very similar to the graveyards that they have in Key West, if anyone knows of those. Some of my favorite graveyards. But I enjoyed that scene because it felt like it was a a change of pace for the different spaces we had been shooting in. And even though I could definitely tell that they were running through the same ten tombstones in different directions from different angles, they did a really good job with what they had.

SPEAKER_06 48:16

Alright, so I know I I mentioned at the beginning that I was surprised that we got some some well-known faces in here. But I think my favorite scene was probably the back and forth, you know, with the bros talking to Tony Todd, trying to get the tour going. And I actually think it was a humorous scene. Aside from Tony Todd's accent in it, I I think it was humorous because like they you have the expectation, obviously. Like, you've got Tony Todd, you've got Candyman, they're trying to set up this tour, and you're going to expect that either he's going to take them on the tour and like leave them to be, you know, destroyed or something, or if he turns them down, he's going to set them up for like, oh, it's it's too crazy, it's too spooky. But instead, he goes down this like little this little story and then turns around and talks about because of insurance stuff. And like just absolute perfect delivery there.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

Not being sued for negligence. Yeah, it was a roller coaster for sure. My favorite scene is on the comedic side as well. So my favorite scene is when they are distracting Victor Crowley so that Ben can go into the shed and find the gasoline to put on. And so they're yelling obscene things, and Marcus is hilarious because he yells it like he's such a badass, and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I didn't write down the specific quotes, but they are hilarious. But then he cowers down and looks around, and just that dynamic, it was just so funny for me.

SPEAKER_04 49:40

Honestly, my favorite scene is the flashback where we get Victor's origin story, because that was a point in the movie where I was like, okay, I might be able to get into this. Because the origin story was like pretty solid. Like you mentioned earlier, Chris. Like he had a good dad, like who was very caring and loving, despite the circumstances that Victor was born into. Uh, and then it was just like the cruelty of the world that made him into the monster he is. And then it was also like, is he a ghost? Is he not a ghost? Did he die? Can he die? These are questions I'm left with, but that scene was probably the last moment I had hope for slashing this.

SPEAKER_02 50:15

I really enjoyed that bit, Paris. I think seeing the backstory of Victor and looking at how tragic his death actually was. He really is someone who's just minding his own business and is constantly harassed by other people. And there's a point where Alexis, and you're talking about your favorite scene with Marcus like talking shit, so Ben can go find the gasoline. Once they finally set him on fire and then the rain eventually puts him out, it really just set me back to watching the latest wrong turn movie and thinking about how these people stumble upon someone else's land and then get aggressive and retaliate when someone's just like, Whoa, what the fuck are you even doing here, right? And it really made me feel in my heart so badly for Victor. Granted, he's a lean mean killing machine, right? Totally get it. He's probably far past pleasantries and trusting people ever again. But I think that that backstory, that origin story, was a really solid moment. I think my favorite scene is one that actually has to do with all the characters in the movie, and that's looking at them on the swamp, going through the tour, the back and forth of like, oh, it's totally this ghost thing. It's like, well, actually, I saw this on TV. It's really this. And you see the dynamics of the characters come to life, and then you also have Jenna and Misty going back at it. You have Ben and Marcus kind of having their little quips as well. It felt like a good moment for all the characters to really shine in their own distinctive personalities, starting with Doug Shapiro asking the permateos if they've ever heard of Bayou Beavers, and Jim's like, yeah, and Janet's like, absolutely not. And he's like, Oh no, no. It's like that little moment of comedy. It's like the permateos in particular shine for me this whole movie.

SPEAKER_03 52:00

I like that, Chris, because I feel like somehow you got a little bit more richness from the characters through that dialogue.

SPEAKER_02 52:07

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

Yeah. And just they're kind of what they're struggling with, especially your tour guide who's like, Nope, I'm trying to earn a living, even though I'm feeding you guys BS.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

Honestly, though, there's a point where the tour guide's like, Why'd you even come? Exactly. It's like, yeah, why did you even come? Like people who go into a particular store just to talk shit to you about your brand, and you're like, Yeah, get the fuck out of here, bro.

SPEAKER_04 52:30

Like when goth kids would come into Hollister or Abercrombie, and I was like, Listen, I was once one of you, it's not that deep.

SPEAKER_03 52:36

With this richness that you get, for some reason, Ben, although he is goofy in this movie, and I don't know why, maybe I can just relate to him because I've been in a situation where I've been recently broken up with, not right now, but in general, you're broken up with someone and then you have to go on vacation with all your friends. And it is kind of a traumatic time. Like you're trying to process what happened, and then you keep bringing stuff up during your vacation, and everyone's telling you, shut up and go with it. And I felt like somehow I'm like, wow, is this movie deep for a second? Am I relating to this? Does that make it deep? I don't know. Was it carved out just for you? Maybe. Probably. They knew exactly what I wanted in a horror movie, and they delivered it to me specifically.

SPEAKER_02 53:26

Oh, this this 16-year-old chick Alexis? The shit's gonna hit different about 14 years.

SPEAKER_03 53:31

You just see.

SPEAKER_06 53:32

I don't know. I felt that everyone was very two-dimensional, and his character in particular was very annoying because he was playing like the typical buffoon. Like, I don't know how to talk to women, let me be uh really uncomfortable with it. And it's like, this is your leading man, and he is annoying as hell.

SPEAKER_02 53:49

I did legitimately hate Ben, and I know that he presumably dies. He at the end of the movie, she Mary Beth sees that he's just bleeding out in the boat, and I'm like, honestly, this guy fucking deserved to go, step one, right? Like, give us a meet in the misdirect where we think he's a leading man and he gets taken out early. He seemed to luck his way into a lot of things, and uh really just couldn't stand looking at him. It's like every ounce of him exuded, I would punch you in the face if I actually knew you.

SPEAKER_06 54:19

Yeah, Marcus didn't deserve to go, but Ben 100% deserved to go.

SPEAKER_02 54:23

Uh-huh. Give me a movie where Ben dies instead of Marcus, and I'm there.

SPEAKER_04 54:27

So obviously, a lot of the characters in this movie did nothing for me. But the two that did really did a lot for me, Jenna and Misty. Jenna and Misty were absolutely my favorite part of this movie. Their arguing and their their banter, and their relationship in general was really entertaining to watch because on camera they had to be like hot, horny, young teen sluts, and in person they hated each other to the to the bone. And it just gave some of the the best lines in the movie for me came from those two exchanging dialogues. I was actually super mad though, because I was waiting for Misty, who was obviously my favorite one because she was the dumb bitch, as well as being the blonde girl from, as Alexis mentioned, the Adams Family and the Addams Family Values. Uh, but I was afraid that I was mad that she got killed off-screen. I wanted her to get like a great kill like everybody else got. And I was like, really, we're gonna do my girl like that. So that wasn't particularly satisfying, but I did really appreciate those two characters in this movie, as shallow as they were.

SPEAKER_03 55:28

Yeah, it's really interesting that they chose her to be killed off-screen when everything was so on screen for this movie. It would have been great. Weirdly enough, um, I knew you were gonna say something about those two characters, but somehow, some reason the worst part of this movie for me was seeing their tits so much. And honestly, maybe it was because the first time I watched this movie, I was confined in an airplane, and I'm like, I think these people might think I'm watching a porno at this point. I mean, you basically were practically, yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:01

Honestly, the ratio of boobs in this movie to like runtime, very high and very unpleasant. I'm not a big fan of that. I do wonder how Ryan would have felt about it, but for me, the worst part was the ending because it was such a fiery crash for my perception of this film, that really the only thing I have to be grateful for is it getting me interested enough to watch the second movie because the second movie picks up in that exact moment it ends, but they recast Mary Beth, which is interesting. What I did like Mary Beth quite a bit in this movie. I think she was one of the only ones I could take seriously in terms of the quality of her acting, and she was very, I know my shit and I can kick your ass. But they did recast Mary Beth with Danielle Harris, and I love Danielle Harris, so I'm not mad at it, but I was disappointed to not see more of her. Aside from that, aside from that peaking of the interest, the way just such a such so abruptly cuts, is like, first of all, how dare you? Because you didn't land this in a way that's like, and to be continued. It was very much like looks around, sees Ben in the in in the boat, is screaming, and then just like a sudden cut to where it feels like something went wrong. And I get that's probably what they were going for. Thought, watch this, bro, it's gonna be real cool. Real bad. Real bad.

SPEAKER_03 57:19

Yeah, I had to do the 10-second rewind to see if I missed something. So that was the only part of the ending that you disliked because I thought maybe there was a disconnection between how did he pull her down and then get on the boat?

SPEAKER_02 57:33

Yeah, sure, but I also don't give a fuck, right? I mean, it's like Jason 2.0, which is what I liked about it. Jason's everywhere. Like I'm fine with not questioning the logistics of this whole scenario because the man keeps dying and coming back up, but if you just pretend he's a ghost, then he can do anything and it doesn't matter. What bothered me was the abruptness of the ending.

SPEAKER_03 57:52

Okay, because I love the ending. I like the homage to Friday the 13th. So I that's why I really enjoyed it. That's why I was excited to see why people didn't like it in the second half.

SPEAKER_04 58:03

Yeah, it was super abrupt and confusing for me as well, Chris. But my question for you is this Did the ending of this movie intrigue you into exploring the sequels, or did you already know that Daniel Harris was in the sequels and that was your motivation?

SPEAKER_02 58:18

I heard that she was in something. I thought it was hostile that she was in. Oh. So looking at this, and then when I and I had to Google it, right? I had to be like, yo, is this actually how it ends? And said, Yeah, it cuts off like in this moment. I'm like, okay. What the fuck? Why? Then I thought, okay, well, it sucks. I'm not a fan of it. I'm not mad though that nobody gets a happy ending. And so I was like, okay, I wonder where the next one goes then. If our two final people are presumably dead, where the fuck do they go with this? Is it another tour situation? And it got my mind wandering. Maybe my mind intrigued me into watching this, but it gave me just enough to ask some questions, which means it worked, and I hate myself for that. I am a sheep.

SPEAKER_04 59:03

Well, I don't think you should hate yourself for that.

SPEAKER_06 59:05

Okay, I gotta bring up a worst part of this movie. I know I'm supposed to say a best part of the movie, but I gotta bring up a worst part of this movie, and it has to do with just the mechanic of Crowley. And so the the trouble I have, and my wife pointed this out as we were watching it, is when you have a killer who is completely unstoppable, it it ends up being kind of like boring in the end. It just ends up being people running around trying to avoid the killer, and in the end, it doesn't matter what they do, they're all going to die anyway, because he's physically like incapable of being killed. Like, literally, you can you can burn him, you can stab him, you can shoot him, and and nothing happens. And I think when we get like other slashers, you can literally chop their fingers off. You can shoot them and they like they don't show their pain, but they're in pain, they're bleeding, like it affects them, it stops them, it slows them in some way.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

They burned him.

SPEAKER_06 59:55

They burned him, and he literally just got rain done and got back up and was like, I got you, man.

SPEAKER_02 59:59

To be clear though, if it hadn't rained, he might have been down a little bit longer. Who knows?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:05

Possible, but probably just long enough for him to get a couple more scars and then go after them again.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:10

But again, to your point, you just said they don't show the pain, but it does slow them down and have an impact. He did get slowed down plenty of times.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:16

Yeah, to an extent. You know, I mean, so I know it's kind of a small complaint and it's it's probably not a valid one, but like I've watched, you know, you watch superhero, you watch Superman, right? I've been watching Lois and Clark again. And what's interesting is they have to do they have to specifically have Kryptonite so that he has a way of being harmed so that you have to worry about him so that you can build the plot. And I feel like they needed they needed something stronger to where like you really thought that they had a chance of stopping him, and then it just falls apart or he outsmarts them or outbrutes them in some way. And like their whole plan to like light him on fire was so bad. Like, there's some old gas cans that probably don't have gas, but let's just try it because like that's our only chance instead of just running away.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:59

And if I flick this lighter to ignite a fire, there's no way I'm gonna burn the gasoline that's on my body. Mac, your opinions are valid, there's nothing wrong with them.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:06

He threw the gas all over everyone in that room, by the way. Like everyone had gas in their faces and on their shirts. Like, come on. From the same tank that he had just confirmed was empty. It had like it had like, you know, a little pill of of gasoline in there.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

But you know, that's the power of our imagination. You know, once I had a I was at a gas station and the gas pump just completely exploded. Uh, not in a fiery ball, but with gas literally all over me and my car in the ground. Terrifying moment. The gas station people didn't come out to help. My ex-girlfriend had to like walk in and say, uh, look at this thing that's happening. And then I think eventually a stranger hit like an emergency stop button.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:46

Pretty sure that's a scene from a movie. Were you having a gas fight with models at the time?

SPEAKER_03 1:01:50

No, but I was very scared that it was gonna be like the birds and it was just gonna catch fire. I freak I get freaked out with gasoline. I I'm like, oh, something about you know your tires rubbing on the concrete that had the gasoline's gonna blow my car up. This is how I die.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:04

When actually the worst thing to do is get into your car while you're pumping with like leather seats and stuff, that's actually worse than worrying about the tires on the pavement.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:11

So I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:13

Mac, you kind of copped out and hacked this movie and said a worst part. And I thought, should I do the same? No, this movie's bad enough. I can find something nice to say. And then I struggled. So I'm gonna say that my best part of this movie is going to be the kills, as well as the dynamic between my girls Misty and Jenna. Specifically the line where Misty says, Hey, why don't you go suck your dad off again, bitch?

SPEAKER_03 1:02:37

That was hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:38

That one hit me. That one was like a slap across the face because I did not see it coming.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:41

Yeah, Paris. I mean, those are arguably two highlights from the film, right? Like the gore. Some of it looked a little bit cheap, but the kills were creative and I was a fan of them. Jenna and Misty as a tandem, fantastic comedic energy between the two. And I will say, I don't think I'll rewatch this movie, but obviously I was excited enough to start the rest. Depending on how those two go, I may consider re-watching this with a full lens. I highly doubt it. I I feel like this movie isn't gonna age very well. I would be interested in watching a remake of this though.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:16

I will absolutely not be watching this movie again, and unlike Chris, I have no desire to watch the sequels. However, I do now fear they'll end up on our lineup sooner rather than later.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

I'm totally interested in going on with the series as well, seeing as I heard it is a timeline. I love to continue this journey with Hatchet for sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:37

I love that journey for you. I hope to never watch this again, however.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:40

It does make me want to actually go to the Everglades so and get an airboat and just get some swamp action in.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:46

I do recommend that. That's very fun.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:47

I love this, but I think what I love even more is seeing what you've dug up for fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:53

Let's find out together. Number one, because of the film's minimal budget, CGI had to be avoided in editing. This sounds very plausible. I'm gonna say fact.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:03

I feel like some was used, but I'm not sure. I'm gonna say fact.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:08

Okay, this one could throw you off a little bit here, but this is a fiction. Adam Green and said had a rule against the use of CGI, and it was only used to hide wires and camera gear from shots, not to add in heads exploding or anything like that. I think those swamp gas lights were CGI. I don't know about that one. But I love that Alexis actually referenced this earlier and still got that one wrong. Number two, speaking of tiny budgets, $1.5 million is not as much as it sounds when you're making a movie, but it was worth it as the film earned it back in theaters before heading to DVD sales.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:42

I feel like it it was less than that, but then you have like Tony Todd and Robert England, unless they're super nice people, which I'm sure they are, I'm sure they don't work for free. I still feel like you're messing us with the number. Like you're messing with us with the numbers. So I'm gonna say fiction.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:00

I'm gonna say fact because my boyfriend Googled this while we were watching it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:03

You're cheating.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:04

I love it. So this one I threw off I threw both of you off with the numbers. So $1.5 million was the budget, but they only brought in over $200,000 at the box office.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:14

Yikes.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:15

But then they did DVD sales.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:17

That's true.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:18

To be clear, they had a very limited theatrical release, almost non-existent. The majority of their action came in DVD sales.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:27

Right. But it's all about can I trick Alexis in Paris? That's all that's all that matters here.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:31

And the Rojas household clearly contributed to that uh DVD sales.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:36

At least $16.99. As a slipcover and everything.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:41

Alright. Our leading man, Joel David Moore, said the fake vomit he had to puke up tasted so bad he struggled not to spit it up early.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:48

Fact for sure. It looked gross.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:50

It's been nothing but lies up to this point, so I'm gonna say fact. Nope, this one's a fiction. So look, he actually managed to puke for real all on his own for the first the first dig. Ew. So impressive. Of acting, but after that, he was given a tasty mix of cold clam chowder and orange juice. Ew.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:06

Oh god. Is this them treating their actors bad?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:09

Just think about the fact that Adam Green didn't want his actors to have to spit up fake vomit, so he just gave them disgusting mixes of food instead.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:16

What else wasn't cold clam chowder gonna give you food poisoning just by putting it in your mouth?

SPEAKER_06 1:06:20

I don't I don't know how that works, so. And number four, Kane Hotter performed his own stunts as Crowley, including the scene in which they light him on fire.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:29

Oh, fact.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:30

This has to be a fact. There's no budget. Well, I don't think the budget has any effects on Kane Hotter. The man is just a professional and he does his own stunts. I think he's probably well known for doing his own stunts, so this is a fact.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:41

The budget is what determined we cast the stunt man as the character instead of an actor and a stunt person. So wait, wait a second. You're talking about Jason Voorhees right here, okay? Oh, is that who that is? I have no knowledge of stunt people.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:54

Yes, it is. Kane Hodder is most famous for being one of the most well-known Jasons.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:00

And I do like Jason. Well, that's been factor fiction.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:02

Well, there you have it, folks. Hatchet from 2006 had us split down the middle with two hacks and two slashes. Will that score stand at the end of the year? We'll see. Now we've certainly had a lot to talk about here, but the conversation doesn't end here by any means. There are people who hate this movie, there are people who love this movie, and we want to know where you stand within there. Now, keep in mind there are a number of ways you can reach out to us, starting with our website, hackerslash.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:28

If you want to tell us about some horror movies you didn't realize you owned on DVD but randomly found one day, you can reach out to us at our HackerSlash Hotline. You can leave us a voicemail at 757-606-0128, or visit HackerSlash. Or if you just prefer plain text, you can send us an email to feedback at hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:47

And if you've enjoyed listening to this episode, consider joining the New Blood Drive and our legions of new patrons and becoming one of them. You can visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to earn cool perks for as low as $1 a month. But don't forget, if you decide to join our $3 or $5 tier during the month of October, you'll receive our fourth anniversary Halloween poster. The clock is ticking.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:06

We'll see you next time, folks. And remember, Julia Roberts didn't have to go through this before she got Mystic Pizza. Bye.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:21

Alright, team, it's time for another free side. This week we have a question from MJ who asks, Over the years, have you guys made a statement or opinion in the podcast that you regret making to this day or have turned around on? And I don't have a perfect answer to this because we've said so many things, but I will say that Rob has won me over a little bit when it comes to Tom Atkins. I'll give the man some credit for being a sex symbol. And if only for being able to confidently rock a mustache.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:52

That's very interesting. I wasn't expecting that at all. I have two. The first one is definitely going way, way back in time to our episode on The Perfection. And I did make a statement that I'm not sure if it's not that I'm proud of it. I'll definitely go back on it though, because I made a statement about how that movie seemed to be oversexualizing the relationships in that movie. And I definitely take that back because I honestly have no experience. I shouldn't have even said that at all.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:25

Yeah. You just didn't realize how dramatic we can be sometimes as the gays.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:29

Gays do be gay.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:31

But you know, like I think it was a like you mentioned, Chris, it's a raw interpretation, and I just took it as this is just a cinematic thing that a lot of directors do. This is like kind of fake, and it's not. And I was not a person to even make a suggestion or statement like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:48

Alexis, I love that you're able to acknowledge that with the awareness that you have now. That is a skill I do not have. I famously don't remember anything that I say on this podcast. And I'm sure if somebody wanted to, they could come up with a list of things that I should regret saying or go back on, but I can't remember any of them. And honestly, I kind of prefer it that way. It's best for me to just keep looking forward. And you know what? If I say something a year from now that's completely contradictory to something I said last year, consider that growth and development.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:18

So should I just start taking notes on things I think you should take back? Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:23

Before we're pulling together this question, my mind immediately went to, well, Paris did hack Scream 2.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:28

But I took it back at the end of the year. It is still the worst Scream.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:31

He also did hack the original Halloween 2.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:34

I stand by that. No qualms about that one. That was Hospital Boogaloo, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:10:39

Yes, it was. Halloween 2 was, but I meant the original Halloween, comma, T-O-O.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:45

Oh, yeah. I mean, doesn't do it for me.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:47

Get the fuck out of here.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:48

My Halloween canon is 2018 old Jamie Lee Curtis. I think I purged that from my memory because I don't recall you hacking the original Halloween. Well, we never recorded the episode, but I had to watch it to record the Halloween 2 episode, and I retroactively threw my hack out there so the record was clear.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:05

Not only was he not asked, he decided to just throw it out there anyway.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:09

It was truly not asked. Provided this information unprovoked.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:12

It was the highest level of disrespect he could wield at me, honestly.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:16

I'm sorry, but Chris, in all fairness, I did text you this before I said it on the pod. Yeah. I was like, listen, it's not my thing. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:22

So what Paris is saying is that not only did he say it within the context of recording a podcast, he also decides to just text me personally and invade my life to tell me that he shits on the love of my life in terms of cinema.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:34

I'm just cyberbullying Chris.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:35

Insult to injury every step of the way with Paris.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:38

And I have no regrets. Paris, do you just like hate things that people love?

SPEAKER_06 1:11:42

Is that your thing?

SPEAKER_04 1:11:42

No, I want to love things that people love, but if I don't love them, then I don't love them, and there's nothing I could do about that.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:47

No, you famously don't like things to not like it, to be different sometimes. Contrarian.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:52

No, not at all. I tend to have contrarian opinions, but I do believe my opinions are superior.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:58

Cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:59

Just because most people like something doesn't mean it's good. Most people are dumb.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:03

Things I still don't regret saying.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:05

And that's what he's taking back 10 seconds after he said it.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:09

I think this goes back to the B sides on one of our episodes when Ryan was talking about meeting Paris, and she's like, if you don't like Paris, he's even better in person. The sassiness works in person.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:20

Just cancel me already.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:22

Alexis, did you have a second thing?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:23

Yes. So my second thing definitely has to go back when we had Damien on our episode and I trashed Friday the 13th, part two. I just did not like Sackhead Jason because I was so used to this supernatural Jason that I grew up with. And the more I'm watching other movies and seeing just how that sackhead interpretation has been throughout other movies, especially Fear Street Part 2, it gets me more excited to see that. And just to be able to look back and see the transition of him. And I appreciate that. So that's my other thing I take back.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:58

Yeah, not liking Sackhead Jason's like hating Smallville simply because there's no like Superman costume.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:04

That would be something I'd say back then. A year ago, Alexis. Two years. Well, that's probably way longer than a year ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:10

That was 2018, Alexis.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:11

That was 2018, Alexis. Oh my gosh. You're not even the same human. I really am not at all. Now I'm just giving away slashes, like they're they're candy.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:22

I think we can say though that I have gotten more generous with my slashes as well over time. Nope, nope, nobody agrees?

SPEAKER_02 1:13:30

Yes and no. I think there are some moments when you can be really, really generous, but I think when there is a movie that is legitimately good and everybody likes, you will find the most absurd reasons to hack it.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:42

No, I've never given a reason to hack something that I didn't fully believe.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:46

No, a hundred percent. But they also may be in absurd opinions, which is fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:51

That's fair. I think it's your thresholds. Your thresholds have changed. That's what it is. So before, like something could be complete garbage and like entertaining and funny, but you're like, but it's complete garbage, therefore I can't enjoy it. And now you're like, I know this is trash, but it's just so perfect, and I and I enjoy it for what it is, right? Like you don't hate it for what it's not, you love it for what it is. And I think that's changed in the way that you're like willing to give reviews for movies, is you're like, this movie is absolutely ridiculous, but at the same time it was hilarious, and I laughed the whole way through.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:21

Interesting. I can see a case to be made for that, but I also feel like I've always liked a very particular brand of garbage.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:28

But I I think it applies it like in both directions. Like when you like something, you know, it it works that way. But when you dislike something for one small thing, like your brain, your brain can't allow for that thing to be loved. That's true. It's like saying this person's a murderer, but they're the best person in the world, aside from that, but they like you know kill puppies or something. So in your mind, you're like, obviously, nobody couldn't could love them, right? But I mean, these are just movies we're talking about, not puppy murderers.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:55

Yeah, Mac, you haven't killed puppies in a while. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:57

Wow. So as of this episode releasing, I have been on 183 episodes of Hackerslash, and that's like literally every single one. So I'm sure baked in there somewhere is something I may have changed my mind on, but I will say this nothing stands out right now because I find that my opinions on things tend to be like pretty considered and pretty felt in the moment. And then when I evolve those opinions and change them, that comes out in the form of reassessing things in later episodes and then mentioning it back. So I don't have anything that's buried in the back of my mind as look, I really love the Bobba Duck now. Gotta find a way to say that. Because if I do love the Bobaduck, then I will find a way to say this. But The Bobaduck is actually a movie that I was not super happy with, that I like the attempt of, I like the idea of, but the execution didn't hit the mark for me. And I know that is something that a lot of our listeners have disagreed with me on, which is totally fine, but it's something that I still stand by to this day. I think if there's something that I dislike, I know that I don't. I think I'm I tend to be more generous, right? Where Paris is more often likely to default hack something. I think I'm more likely to default slash something. So if I dislike something, there's a nuanced reason for it. But I do think that my taste in film and horror particularly has evolved over the years. So maybe one day, maybe, I'll go back and do the horrific work of listening to our early episodes and figuring out something to do with that. I don't know how I'll get through it, but I'll let you know if I think of something very specific that I once said.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:33

I think that's pretty generous of you to to allow for that openness. You know what? And I think that's what it is for you is like you are okay if things can gain new context over time. Like you will allow that to happen and allow yourself to change, and you don't feel like you need to apologize for that. And that that's I think a good skill to have.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:50

I'd be changing my mind sometimes, you know, open to growth and evolution.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:54

Also, probably was just a soundtrack on the Baba Duke of the kids screaming the entire time, which did not do it justice.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:01

Honestly, look, if the kid screaming was removed, maybe I would have liked it a little bit more. It's just the movie doesn't hit the same way that there's another movie we did recently that I remember saying specifically, this does what the Baba Duke also tried to do, but for me it lands even better. And that and that was his house. It's a a horrowing emotional tale about like grief and working through this. But for me, the ending has you like the ending of both movies have you confronting your own demons and learning how to cope and move forward. But his house felt way more successful. So I still feel pretty okay in and uh staring down the Bobaduk. I do love Bobaduk as a cultural icon. I do have a Pride Baba Duck sticker on one of my iPad cases. Big fan of the Bobaduck, just not necessarily the movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:51

Listen, you can separate the icon from the source material, and that's brave. I do have one thing that I thought of that I've absolutely turned around on, and that is any time I've ever said that I'm willing to re-watch a movie that I hacked with a new context after having had the conversation with all of you. I'm never doing that. I've never done it. I may continue to say that I will, but I won't.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:10

At least you're honest, I suppose.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:12

Honest about the lies I will continue to tell.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:14

Mm-hmm. Can we be bad at you for it? I don't know. Paris, don't give me that face is if you don't know about Balto, the fucking American hero.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:24

I know about Balto, but I didn't know that I needed his d origin story and the the true evil behind the narrative.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:34

We are clean. There are some animals in this movie, but none seem to be harmed.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:38

What are you talking about?

SPEAKER_02 1:18:39

There's definitely a fox carcass.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:41

Also, there's an alligator that gets shot.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:44

Oh fuck. Dude, we did say alligators, but we didn't think because I asked Mac. Not that I'm okay. I don't remember. Yeah, no, there's a dead fox in there too.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:52

Maybe I fell asleep.

SPEAKER_03 1:18:53

Fox.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:54

Well, you don't see him die. He just moves him off.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:56

But you do see the gator get a cat busted in its ass.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:59

But you also see the fox's dead body all gory and chill. Oh, that's true. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:03

Okay, so let me take that back. And it I think it just set it precedence for me. President? Like a president. Very different thing. Okay. Precedent.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:14

Let me just precedent.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:17

Precedent. Set the tone.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:19

Okay, there you go. Thank you. You played Dion in Scream 3.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:24

Like I remember characters' names in movies. Don't pay attention to me.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:30

Speaking of breathtaking, is that a good transition?

SPEAKER_06 1:19:33

What are you gonna talk about?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:34

Let me just own it. Visuals. But I have a legit thing. Okay, I'll start over.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:41

You guys need to know the power of voodoo. Like, not actual voodoo, but the service named Voodoo. Okay, Marie Laveau. Yeah, apparently, I think they I don't know if they still have it. They used to have a feature where you could like scan a DVD that you own and then they would let you buy the digital copy for like a couple bucks.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:56

I'm not spending more money on this movie when I apparently already did when I was like 17.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:00

Yeah, that's very interesting. So you buy the movie you've already previously owned, obviously, and you pay them again.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:06

Well, it's like if you happen to have like a stack of DVDs and you know what, I want to go digital now, I don't have a DVD player, you would like scan it in their app or something, and they would say, like, hey, get the you know, whatever copy for two to three bucks or five bucks. I don't know, but I don't use that because I don't have physical media I have to worry about because optical discs, you know, wear out over time.

SPEAKER_03 1:20:25

So physical media at this point, to me, is just artwork. Have you seen the people on YouTube that use it as a background at this point? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:34

Oh, absolutely. And I mean, like steelbooks are very much a gorgeous possession to have. Some of the ones they've seen for Halloween movies, etc. Absolutely breathtaking. I did almost buy. In fact, if it's still available for sale, I might still buy it. A collection of Blu-rays from Halloween. It's Halloween one, two, three, and all the way up to through five. And then there's also a set you can buy that includes vinyls of all the scores of those movies, and then there's like some collectors' pins. That kind of physical media I'd be into when it's a whole experience. Just a one-off DVD, I'm not gonna do. I'm just saying I've seen Jason without a mask many, many times, and they look very similar.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:19

Oh, because Jason's wearing overalls, or we're not talking about the full ensemble, just the face.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:24

Just the face. I mean, because Jason did wear overalls in Friday 13th part two.

SPEAKER_03 1:21:29

Fuck he did. I forgot. You know, I try to put that out of my uh head now that I had to go back and rehash that a second ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:36

You're welcome. So glad we did this. He also wore flannel, but Victor Crowley's like, oh, we're standing to buy you, it's too hot for that.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:46

Some of my favorite graveyards.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:48

I've never been. We need to go do something spooky this October, Paris.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:52

I know. We literally just talked the other day on the phone about like when we can connect, and we have neither of us have any availability.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:57

I'll see you in December.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:58

Yeah, exactly. If if we're lucky.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:03

I loved it when they were actually on the bus, and Sean, the tour guide man, was explaining why they were above ground, and Mr. Patello was like, No, that's not the reason why. And they're like literally like trying to discredit him and going back and forth on that. That was so funny.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:22

I feel like that would have been Ryan on a ghost tour.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:24

That would be Ryan wouldn't be correcting.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:26

Just fact-checking them the whole time. So obviously, a lot of the characters in this movie did nothing for me, but the two that did really did a lot for me. And their names are human names known as Jenna and Misty.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:45

Not sure how uh human those are, but what? I don't know. They sounded like stripper names for sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:53

Listen, she went to NYU, she's a professional actress.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:56

Except she didn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:57

She didn't.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:58

What do you mean she didn't?

SPEAKER_02 1:23:00

She didn't. That was her confession. When they were like, okay, anyone else, who's lying? If I hear one more lie, whatever. And then they're just looking at the group awkwardly, and then she looks like she can't contain it, and you think she's about to drop some wild ass shit, but then she's like, I didn't get into NYU. It was my first choice, but I couldn't get in, so I had to go to whatever the fucking school. It's like that's her big secret.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:24

Oh my god, no, I missed that part somehow.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:26

She went to Hofstra. That's where she went.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:31

I will absolutely not be watching this movie again, and unlike Chris, I have no desire to watch the sequels. However, I do now fear that she might love the sequels and they'll end up on our lineup sooner rather than later.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:44

So here's the thing about lineups. Supposed to be random pulls to not interject bias. So just because I love a movie doesn't mean it's gonna end up on the show.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:54

Yeah, that is a fact, if there ever was a fact. A lot goes into it other than being like, what's our fave? It's mostly like what haven't we all probably not seen before.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:06

Paris just wants bad hair in the lineup and uh Paris is over here impacting the voting systems on any platform, and he actually has more sway in what we end up fucking doing, but things that we're just interjecting bias, hmm?

SPEAKER_04 1:24:22

You know what's hateful? Dwight loves zombie movies, and uh we were eating dinner and I was like, oh babe, can you go vote in the poll? It's the co-host Clash, and I want the Neon Demon to win. And I forgot that the other movie was 28 Days Later, and he saw the poll and he was like, babe, I'm voting for 28 days later. And I was like, no. And then he literally logged onto our dog Tofu's Instagram account and voted from there as well.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:43

I saw it and I loved it. And uh honestly, this is why Dwight's my favorite of the two of you.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:49

So Lisa, any influence I have gets negated by my partner.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:54

He brings balance to the force, it's fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:59

I have a quick I have a quick addition. I'll say if they can ever get him in a movie to say, What are you doing in my swamp? I might be swayed to watch one of the sequels or re-watch this one, but I just I need that line delivered.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:13

Why?

SPEAKER_06 1:25:14

Shrek. It's a Shrek reference.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:16

Oh my god, how did I forget that? There was a time when my Disney trivia and animated film trivia was far exceeding my horror movie trivia, and I don't know who I am anymore.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:26

An adult.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:27

I guess.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:28

That's okay. My my wife was watching this with me, and she goes, Oh my god, that's Tony Todd. That's Candyman. And she's like, Wait, who have I become?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:37

Let me just say that is so disgusting. And I have a a thing with food and rules. I don't eat food that has the same consistency as vomit, which is why I don't eat oatmeal. And I just heard those two things that you said, Mac, and immediately imagined it in my mouth.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:53

And don't don't think about it, okay?

SPEAKER_02 1:25:56

Okay, I'm done. I'm taking my headphones off for this section.