200: 200th Episode Special

SPEAKER_02 0:04

You know I'm a dumb bitch with no reference for the past. We're screwed.

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Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hackerslash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Do you like scary movies? If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. A total joke, a waste of time, or a splash.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Total killer. Fun intended.

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We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac. Hola, Muchachos, the Gore Lover Alexis, everyone, the Cow of the Creeper Ryan. I think it's time I change what I say here. And the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

Hey sweets.

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This episode marks a very special occasion for our show because prior to this, we've released 199 episodes, making this one our 200th. Now to celebrate the occasion, we're going to reflect back on the movies that have brought us this far and share what we've learned through the making of 200 episodes. Before we get down to business, though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Let's follow up on some stuff. Okay, y'all. So you may recall our most recent update. We launched our Discord channel exclusively for our patrons. And as of this recording, 73% of you are patrons have already signed up for the Discord, which is super exciting. Uh something else that's very exciting is that we are actually currently live streaming this episode so that our patrons can listen. There's actually 10 of them in the chat right now, all listening live. So if you are not a patron and you would love to hear the behind the scenes outtakes and all the things that don't make it into the final episode for our non-patrons, consider visiting patreon.com slash hackerslash and signing up for as low as one dollar a month. Now we have some new channels that we've added to the Discord, including horror news, episode chats, horror recommendations, and a spoiler zone where you can talk about specific movies in a place where we know we've all seen it and you don't have to worry about getting spoiled. We also will be launching this Discord publicly to all of our non-patrons starting on March 1st. And there is one more thing I would love to celebrate, and that is that we actually have new three patrons that have joined our family. Those are Colleen, Laz, and Sam. Ladies and gentlemen, they's and thems, thank you so much for all of your support. And I'm actually gonna pop this little bottle right now on the mic for everybody to hear. But I get scared when I do it. Oh my god. Okay. Here's the 200 bitches. And that's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_05 2:42

Well, while our Discord is a place for all of our friends to connect, this week we want to reflect on the 200 episodes that helped build that community. Now when the show first started in 2017, I motherfucker. Okay. I'm sorry, give me a second. Jin's making some fucking noise out in the living room, and you go shut her up. I'll be right back.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

Just so everyone knows. Should we stop recording? No, just keep going. I mean, Jin is uh Jin is actually a human that keeps captive. I don't know if anyone knew that, but uh forces this human to wear a dog costume, so yeah, that's a thing.

SPEAKER_03 3:18

I'm pissed we didn't get a screaming. Yeah.

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That's for next time. Screaming at the screaming at the human dressed in a dog costume. Wait a minute, why is Chris calling me?

SPEAKER_02 3:31

What yes, Chris Kringle?

SPEAKER_00 3:35

Greetings and salutations, you dumb bitch. One wrong move and she dies.

SPEAKER_02 3:41

Oh my god, you guys, I think it's Ghostface.

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You've had hundreds of episodes of Hack or Slash, but do you remember anything?

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Okay. What what do you want?

SPEAKER_00 3:50

It's simple. I want to play a game. You're horror movie podcasters. Surely you can answer a few questions.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

Uh, what kind of questions?

SPEAKER_00 3:59

We'll see how much you remember from your past episodes. If you win, she lives. If you're wrong, she dies. Easy.

SPEAKER_01 4:07

We'll probably be just fine.

SPEAKER_04 4:10

Okay.

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Mac, you know I'm a dumb bitch with no reverence for the past. We're screwed.

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What are the rules that were are around this whole situation? How am I gonna win or lose?

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I'm feeling generous tonight. I'll give you each ten chances to save her life. Each of you gets a question. If most of you get your questions right, she goes unharmed. If most of you get your questions wrong, I scrape her bones with my blade. Be careful. I don't think she can take more than three mistakes. If all of you get your questions wrong, I get to see what her insides look like.

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What if it's a tie?

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I'll give you a bonus question to see if your fans can save you. Let's try a little warm-up, shall we?

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I'm scared.

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This one is for Alexis.

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Fuck.

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Who is considered to be Hollywood's first scream queen?

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Jamie Lee Curtis, of course. Oh, thank god.

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Wasn't that easy? Looks like you all listen after all.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

Oh, thank god she's alive. Well, this is a warm-up. We're good. I would have got that wrong, thank you. Don't you dare ask me that question, sir.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Brian, you're next. What movie is considered to be a sequel to the movie An American Werewolf in London?

SPEAKER_04 5:22

Well, Ghostface, I can I can see that you know me. By the way that you've asked me a question regarding one of my favorite movies in the past 200 that we've ever reviewed. Comma, however. American Werewolf in New York.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Oh, yeah, that's the one.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

How could you forget an American werewolf in Paris? You even talked about it in the episode.

SPEAKER_04 5:44

Oh god, duh. Okay, I did actually know it was a city though, so I feel like I get a half a point.

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Paris, let's see how much of a stupid bitch you really are.

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Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Stuntman Kane Hodder is best known for his portrayal as what character.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Are you kidding me? You know I don't know stunt people. Um I'm gonna guess. Michael Myers?

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How disappointing. No, uh during the Hatchet episode, everyone talked about Kane's portrayal of Jason Vorhees. You must really want her to die.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Oh no.

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Mac, Europe. Who narrated the original the Texas Chainsaw Massacre along with the 2003 remake?

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Tell Chris I love her because I don't know the answer. Oh my god, she's gonna die.

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Mac, I expected better from you. The answer is John Laroquette. You should remember that from fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Should but don't.

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You're lucky this is a warm-up. Let's see if your fans can get in on the action. What is the name of the demon clown who terrorizes the children of Daring Main?

SPEAKER_02 6:46

Well, I know that one.

SPEAKER_04 6:47

Just so we're clear, the listeners have gotten every single thing right. So for you to be patronizing to them.

SPEAKER_02 6:53

Not patronizing.

SPEAKER_04 6:54

Put intended. By asking that question is rude. Obviously, they know it's penny wise. I have like a solid five, six people that know who it is. Everyone does.

unknown 7:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Every almost every single I have 100% of people in the chat that know who it is.

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You survived. Let's see if Chris has as much faith in you to make sure she does. Round one. Paris. What actress played the hair on Helen Lyle in the original Candyman?

SPEAKER_02 7:21

Oh my god, I'm I can see her. She has red hair. She looks like the bitch from X-Files. Um. Do I know her name? Is it saved in my Rolodex of White Women? It is not. So I'm gonna say. Oh. Ooh. Sorry, Chris. Helen Miran. I thought you loved women.

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How could you forget Virginia Madsen?

SPEAKER_02 7:42

No, not Virginia. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Ryan, let's see how closely you paid attention to your animal reports over the years. What was the name of Buffalo Bill's dog?

SPEAKER_04 7:53

Baby.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Incorrect.

SPEAKER_04 7:54

Obviously.

SPEAKER_00 7:55

That little pooch was named Presses, and you're one step closer to killing your friend.

SPEAKER_04 8:00

I was actually really close though. I knew I was a a term of endearment.

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Mac, what European director of the classic 1977 film Susperia is also known as the Italian Hitchcock.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

Oh my gosh. Ah, come on, it's on the tip of my tongue, because we've talked about it. And and he's got the Oh, the three witches. It's the whole trilogy. Okay, I'm trying I'm trying. I'm trying. Because it's not like Benito or something, you know? It's not Gio. It's kind of Benito. It's kind of Benito. It's like a Dario. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Okay, Argento. Yes.

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That's correct. You really are a man of the world. Alexis, this round is on you. And which horror film does a black hole unleash its evil upon the actors Lawrence Fishburne and Sam Neal?

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God, it's my freaking favorite movie. How am I Oh jeez? Uh Ven Horizon.

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That's correct. Your fans are really carrying you. It's time for a bonus question. Chanel Monet stars and what horror thriller where her character must escape a southern plantation.

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I'm just gonna say it, the patrons get the easy questions. So true.

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So true. So, of course, our patrons know, and they've supplied the answer, and that is antebellum.

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Another lucky break. Round two. Paris. Try to name the movie with the quote: I'm your number one fan.

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Oh, fuck you, ghost face. It's misery. That stupid bitch, Kathy Bates, did not deserve that Academy Award. That movie was garbage.

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You should remember this one. You've talked about hating it enough. Alexis, time to test your memory.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

God. That's her best quality. At work it is.

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What 2013 film features a young couple who take in their feral nieces and a supernatural spirit?

SPEAKER_03 9:47

Was that the orphanage?

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How could you forget your first episode? The answer is Mama. I guess you don't really care about Chris's life, do you? Mac, let's see how much of a super fly space guy you really are. Name the movie with the tagline in space. No one can eat ice cream.

SPEAKER_01 10:05

No one can eat ice cream? Oh my gosh, I thought it was no one can hear you scream. That sounds like space balls.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

I was thinking space balls too.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

So I'm pretty sure that if it's not, if it if that's not the tagline, it's probably a movie that I haven't seen. So, uh, and I wasn't on the episode to review. This is one of those questions I just don't know the answer. So uh, you know, give her a little stab for me.

SPEAKER_00 10:25

Mac, I'm disappointed. I thought you'd know it's killer clowns from outer space.

SPEAKER_01 10:30

Yeah, space is overrated. I got bad news, Chris.

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Ryan, this should be easy for you. Who wrote the 1981 film An American Werewolf in London?

SPEAKER_04 10:41

It's actually not. You know, all I know about are the effects from that movie. I know it's John, but the only name in my head is John Carpenter.

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For being one of your favorite movies, you couldn't remember John Landis. How disappointing.

SPEAKER_04 10:54

Uh, no, I would have never. Uh oh God, Chris, I love you. I'm sorry.

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Poor Chris. She's just no Sharon Stone. Round three. Alexis, let's see how much you listen to Ryan. Who received the inaugural Oscar for Best Makeup for an American werewolf in London?

SPEAKER_04 11:13

I just said his name. Oh god, it wasn't banged. It's two small words. John, nope. Ted, nope.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

I'm sorry the answer is Rick Baker. Ryan must be so disappointed. Paris, what actress plays the main character Susie in the 2018 remake of Susperia?

SPEAKER_02 11:33

Okay, that was absolutely Dakota Johnson.

SPEAKER_04 11:36

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

That's simply correct, Ellen.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

I was I was curious to see if he was gonna say fanning. No.

SPEAKER_04 11:44

You're turning out to be the least dumb.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

Well, all my questions are about actresses, which is all I know.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

Yeah, ask me about uh episodes we edited. I have so much about the ROTC. Sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Ryan, you say you love Freddie. What hangs above Tina's bed in a nightmare on Elm Street?

SPEAKER_04 12:00

A cross.

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Well done. You're keeping her alive.

SPEAKER_04 12:04

Oh my god, thank you. Wow. Wow, thank you.

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Oh my god, we might save Chris's life after all.

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Mac, what mythical creature did Hadley hope to see as a killer in cabin in the woods?

SPEAKER_01 12:14

Oh, uh it wasn't the mermaid. Uh I'll say mermaid, why not?

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Correct. He just wanted to be part of his world. Round four. Ryan, it's your turn. The 1970 diversion of The Last House on the Left was the directorial debut for which director.

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This is one I think Ryan would know. You would you would hope.

SPEAKER_04 12:37

I do know because he's gross and he makes a bunch of gross movies, isn't he?

SPEAKER_01 12:41

While he might make some gross movies, he probably makes movies you might like.

SPEAKER_04 12:44

Yeah, he's made some you like. Wes Craven.

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You're lucky it was an easy one. Paris, this one is on you. And Friday the 13th, part two, what does Jason Voorhees wear as his mask?

SPEAKER_02 12:57

Oh shit. Um, Friday the 13th, 2, they were the hottest they'd ever been, the the campers. Um Sack, he's wearing a potato sack. Sack head Jason.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Well done. I think Chris is surprised you remembered. Alexis, what substance was used to ink the pages of the Necronomicon?

SPEAKER_04 13:14

I also don't know what that word means. I'm assuming blood?

SPEAKER_00 13:19

Excellent. Maybe I can use Chris's blood in it. Mac, in the 1977 film The Hills Have Eyes, the father and three sons are all named after what celestial bodies.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Um yeah, I'm gonna say stars? Moons? No. Mac, you dumb bitch.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Incorrect. They were named after planets. What kind of space guy are you? Maybe you should rebrand.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

You know, the good thing here is that uh my answer doesn't really count. It's because the other three were right, right?

SPEAKER_04 13:52

That was a hard question. No one in the chat had an answer for that one. We just got one lonely LOL.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

I knew that one. It was like Jupiter and like Yeah, because you're a star queen.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

I guess that's true. Star Queen. Look, I like space as a concept, okay? Let's uh not the details. Yeah.

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Round five. Paris and puppet master. How did the female doll murder her victims?

SPEAKER_02 14:15

Oh, she sucked on his nipple and he died with leeches.

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I forgot! Yes. Well done. Of course you would remember a nipple scene. Ryan, let's test your holiday horror memory. Bob Clark directed both a Christmas story and What Slasher?

SPEAKER_04 14:33

The Frost One.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

Incorrect. The answer is one of Chris's favorites. The 1970 for Black Christmas.

SPEAKER_04 14:41

Literally, all the patrons right now are in the chat sobbing every time I have to answer a question because it's horrible.

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Alexis, what horror film was Eli Roth's directorial debut?

SPEAKER_03 14:52

It's the one where they where they go backpacking. I don't even know if we reviewed that movie.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Backpack? It's these are all movies that we've reviewed.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

No one's helping. Oh yeah, Cabin Fever.

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She said No one's helping. Looked at the chat and said, oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

That's correct, but you cheated. And cheaters never prosper. Chris will pay.

SPEAKER_04 15:11

You have to look away when it's your turn. I just need to close it out.

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Mac, let's see how good your memory of the 90s is. Wes Craven directed which 1991 film about two adults and a juvenile who break into a house and find something disturbing.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

Sounds like the people under the stairs.

unknown 15:28

That's correct. You finally got one right.

SPEAKER_00 15:31

It's time to cut her open. If you cheat, she dies. Where's your integrity? Round six. Ryan, an investigator ends up on a Scottish island where the inhabitants have an unhealthy obsession with sexuality. And this 1973 film.

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The Wickerman.

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Well done.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

Wow, how could I ever forget Yes Bits?

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Leave it to you to remember a movie with a lot of boobs. Alexis, where is the 2008 movie The Strangers entirely set?

SPEAKER_04 16:02

In a house.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

That's right. Easy question.

SPEAKER_04 16:05

I was like, do you have to know the location in the country? Yeah, I was like, the house? Yeah. Good.

SPEAKER_00 16:11

Paris, what was the name of the killer and mortician in the movie Phantasm?

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Oh, bitch, I don't know. Tall, creepy Lurch, Lurch, his name was Lurch. He was giving Lurch.

SPEAKER_00 16:24

You almost had it. His name was the tall man.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Oh, so that's not a name, Ghostface. That doesn't count.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Mac, what attacks a group of teens in 1986 when they're trapped inside a shopping mall after dark?

SPEAKER_01 16:36

It's a robot.

unknown 16:37

Very good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 16:39

Have a nice day. Round seven. Ryan, this one's for you. Kevin Bacon stars in what 1990 film about a group of people fighting for survival against giant monsters hungry for flesh.

SPEAKER_04 16:53

I don't know what Kevin Bacon looks like, but I believe someone recently asked me how our Tremors episode went because it has Kevin Bacon in it.

SPEAKER_00 17:02

Yes, you're off on the right foot. Let's see if your co-hosts can spare Chris's life.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

Wow, shout out to Alan.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Alexis, what holiday-themed movie contained five interwoven stories that occur on the same block on the same night?

SPEAKER_03 17:17

Uh, October, not the house's Octoberville.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

You really forgot Trick-or-treat. What a disappointment. Mac, how did the masked intruders respond to the question, why are you doing this? In the 2008 movie The Strangers.

SPEAKER_01 17:31

I wish I had seen that movie. It was another episode I was not a part of.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

One step closer to a stab. The correct response is because you were home.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

I wasn't, though.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Paris, let's see how much you know about the Exorcist.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

Oh fuck.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Hello, Falimarin.

SPEAKER_00 17:47

That was the first horror movie to be nominated for what in 1974.

SPEAKER_02 17:52

Okay, listen up. I may not know shit about this movie, but I do know about the Oscars, and this movie was nominated for an Academy Award. I don't know why, I haven't seen it.

SPEAKER_04 18:02

So on brand. So on brand. It works perfectly. You've asked him the best questions.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

How fortunate for Chris. Now let's see if your fans can save her life with a tiebreaker question. Name the movie with this quote you've got the body, I've got the brain.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

Wow, that's a hard one. Okay, we'll give it a second to see what rolls in.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

Oh my god, your life comes down to the patrons.

SPEAKER_04 18:24

You're yeah, you guys literally have to save Chris's life. And I need more than one person to get it right. Cause also I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Yeah, well, Chris is fucked. I'm I am really sad that like Ryan's not confident in this when we have all these answers coming through.

SPEAKER_04 18:38

There's so what do you mean we're like 50-50? Okay, we're going. The chat, our patrons say, Nightmare on Elm Street 2.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

That's correct. Freddie's Revenge. Thank you, thank you. Uh Round eight. Mac, let's look back to one of your early episodes. What 2019 film was based on a series of short horror stories for children written by Alvin Schwartz?

SPEAKER_04 19:04

Just think, series of short movies that we saw in 2019.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Okay, so movie based on something that was written for kids that you guys complained about was so kiddish.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Scary stories to tell in the dark.

SPEAKER_00 19:15

Correct. That's the power of context clues. Paris, what fictional drug used to suppress dreams was featured in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors?

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Fictional drug? Um, Narconol. As referenced in Death Becomes Her. Narconol is my final answer.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

No. The answer is hypnosal, which you'd know if you had taken a closer look at the film during episode 155.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

That was a great answer, though. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

Ryan, Vanna White stars in what 1981 film following the murders of a high school track teen.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

Oh my god, this sounds so familiar. But what was it called?

SPEAKER_04 19:54

I know exactly what it is. I can see the first scene of the girl's running, and then she falls. I feel like I should get credit for describing the whole entire first scene. The first 10 minutes of the movie is in slow motion. Don't you remember that? Oh my god. Isn't it like a hot mess of a movie, right? And uh y'all are like, it's campy, and I'm like, no, it sucks.

SPEAKER_02 20:11

It wasn't even that camp, it was just bad.

SPEAKER_04 20:13

Oh gosh. This one is hard, I'll have to admit.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

There was a football kill and there was a spear.

SPEAKER_04 20:21

I remember everything about the movie.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

A gratuitous locker room scene.

SPEAKER_04 20:25

Okay, I am just gonna uh I'm just gonna say that I don't know. I cannot, I cannot get it in my brain.

SPEAKER_00 20:32

Who could forget the universal hack graduation day?

SPEAKER_04 20:35

Oh my god, the graduation day? Yeah, it's because the title doesn't make sense. Did I go on a rant about the title not making sense? Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

You have no idea how hard I was trying to mouth graduation to Alexis, and it just came across as movement.

SPEAKER_04 20:51

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

This one is for the gore lover Alexis. In the movie Maniac, what body part taken from victims did the murder nail to mannequins?

SPEAKER_03 21:00

Their hands?

SPEAKER_00 21:01

How disappointing. The correct answer is their scalps.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 21:07

I did forget scalp mannequins.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

So, Chris, you're dead. That was three wrong.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

It's time for Chris to die. Well, well, well. I hope you're pleased with yourselves. Do you know how much time this lesbian has spent putting her heart and soul into this podcast?

SPEAKER_02 21:31

I put this little game together to see how much you all really cared about Hackerslash. And for what? You three abandoned us for the Scream 2022 episode. We were so excited to review that together. This was the first time any of us were going to see a Scream movie in theaters. We'd literally had it on the recording calendar for a year. And one by one, you all disappointed us because, oh boo hoo, I have COVID. Wear a mask. Alex is just having to celebrate her birthday in Utah, of all places. What? Did you have a secret Mormon wedding and not invite any of us? And have you three even taken the time to see the movie yet? It's been weeks at this point. What is your excuse now? Chris is literally dead. You literally killed Chris. This blood, it's on your hands.

SPEAKER_05 22:16

Well, there you have it, folks. It only took seven rounds for my co-host to kill me. But we want to know what you think. We want to know what you thought of all 200 episodes up to this point, and we want to know what you're looking forward to in the next 200. Now keep in mind there are a number of ways you can reach out to us, starting with our website, hackerslash. Or on our social media accounts on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

SPEAKER_04 22:38

And if you think you could have done better than us and saved Chris's life, you can reach out to our Hackerslash Hotline. You can leave us a voicemail at 757-606-0128 or visit hackerslash.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Or if you think Chris should honestly host Jeopardy, you can send us an email to feedback at hackerslash.com.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

And if you've enjoyed listening to this very special episode, consider becoming one of our patrons like Colleen, Laz, and Sam. You can visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to earn cool perks for as low as $1 a month.

SPEAKER_05 23:05

We'll see you next time. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 23:13

Visit patreon.com slash hackerslash to hear our outtakes, alternate ending, and see who the other ghost base may have been.