209: Bunnyman (2011)

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Was it there when she deep throated a knife? The deep throat was like a 10 out of 10. Honestly, when that started, I was like, well, okay, we could we could do a little something with that.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Do you have any idea how long we've been walking on this road? If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. A total joke, a waste of time, or a slash.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_01 0:36

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superflies-based guy Mac. Hola, muchachos, the cowardly groeper Ryan, we don't get paid enough for this. And the Scream Queen Paris.

SPEAKER_04 0:56

I think she looks kind of slutty.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Easter is right around the corner, and while Peter Cottontail isn't exactly our speed, we thought a bloodthirsty bunny would do the trick. Before we get started though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

Let's follow up on a movie. Okay, we recently reviewed an anthology brought to us by women, and it was called XX, not unlike the Chromosome. As always, we wanted to hear what our listeners thought, and the results are in 67% or two-thirds of our listeners gave this movie a hack, while the remaining third, 33%, gave it a slash.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

I'm a little sad to hear that it it was overwhelmingly hacked.

SPEAKER_04 1:32

I I'm not. I'm not surprised, and I'm not saddened in any way. We have some comments from our listeners. One of our patrons, Darren, said, This was a complete hack for me. I like the idea behind it, but the execution of the majority of the segments is poor in my opinion. The stories are at best average, and at worst, I found them boring. I won't ever watch this again. That's one for Team Mac. We have another comment from one of our patrons, Jake, who said, 'Twas a soft hack for me. But it's more based on my comparisons to other anthologies. Trick or Treat did it perfectly. Southbound is another amazing horror anthology that has been unfortunately overlooked by many. I did enjoy Annie Clark's segment, but I'm biased for Annie Clark. But if someone were to ask me for a horror anthology recommendation, this wouldn't be in my top five, though this movie isn't without its creepy moments, and I do give it kudos for those moments. See, that's Team Paris right there. What are these teams, Mac? I'm confused. We're we're battling.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

It's Team Edward, Team Jacob, Team Switzerland.

SPEAKER_04 2:25

Yes. But we both hacked it. I know, but two bad choices. Finally, to round out Team Chris, we have a comment from Britney who said, I enjoyed this anthology enough to slash it. It's not amazing to me, but I appreciate the girl power vibes and celebrating women in horror. I personally love Melanie Linsky, but didn't love the birthday party. My favorite was Don't Fall. It really grabbed me, even though it wasn't the most unique story. I like the monster a lot. Solid choice. It's nice to do different things. I love being exposed to new movies that I wouldn't always choose on my own.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

Oh Brittany, I love that. And I'm so glad we could show you something new. I think there's a lot uh of redeemable moments in this anthology, and look, I'm sorry that it wasn't uh trick-or-treat levels or maybe even creep show, but I feel like that movie had a lot of positives.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

And that's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_01 3:10

Well, this week we don't have an anthology, and I assure you it has nothing to do with Easter, but it is instead loosely inspired by a Virginian urban legend surrounding an escape mental patient and a landmark that's become known as Bunyman Bridge. Now, instead of an escape mental patient and a bridge, though, this movie focuses on a group of friends who are stalked, run off the road, and hunted by a mysterious driver, one they eventually discover is wearing a bunny costume. This week, we're talking about the 2011 film Bunny Man. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_00 3:40

I thought I saw it, but then I realized I was thinking of a Paul Walker movie, completely unrelated to this.

SPEAKER_01 3:45

Sorry, what? Oh, you're thinking of Joyride.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Oh yeah. I was joking. I have obviously never seen this movie and had not heard of it until we got to this.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

Absolutely same. Never heard of this movie, didn't know it existed, saw it on the lineup and said, let's go.

SPEAKER_05 4:00

Yeah, I I mean, who has seen this movie and why? I think you have to really have an explanation if you've seen Bunny Man. And now we all do.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Oh, we sure do. I hadn't seen this one before, but I am familiar with Urban Legend. It's based very liberally on. This movie has a lot of entries in its franchise, though, so getting into this, not really knowing a whole lot about it outside of that, I expect this to be really campy, really brutal, and really bad, but at least in the sense of being so bad it's good, because of how campy and tongue-in-cheek I expected it to be. What were you all expecting?

SPEAKER_05 4:37

So let's just say I've made it very clear I don't like holiday horror, so I wasn't excited. And then here are the series of events that have happened. We discovered that you can only see this if you watch it on YouTube or if you stream it illegally. Those two things were hints that this would not go well. And then we all individually watched it, and all of us could not resist saying something in the group chat about how it felt watching this movie. So as I was waiting, I was probably the last person to watch it. I've heard a little tiny thing from Mac being as restrained as possible, a little tiny thing from Paris, and then Alexis cackling basically in the group chat, thankful that she's not here. So I don't think I could have possibly had any lower expectations. I did not see the charm in things like Thanksgiving, and I knew that I wouldn't see the charm here, but I at least thought it'd be like some good kills or something.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Oh, to be clear, I didn't see the charm in Thanksgiving either, and I did not think this would be like Thanksgiving. I want to make that very clear.

SPEAKER_05 5:39

I thought this would be like Thanksgiving, but like less cussing, like less, slightly less ridiculous, but it's called Bunny Man.

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Like, you know what I mean? Yeah, but it's not Easter Bunny. So I didn't think it'd be like Thanksgiving, you know what I mean? I thought this would be like because I knew it was gonna be on the Urban Legend, I was like, alright, this could be really fucking good in a weird way.

SPEAKER_05 6:01

I'd say it's not not Easter Bunny. It's just not an Easter story, but it is an Easter bunny.

SPEAKER_00 6:07

I I also had the bar like set pretty low for me in my mind. I wasn't sure if this was gonna go towards like just really crappy student film or like a Serbian film. I had kind of no direction, um, but I was not expecting good things. I mean, basically everything Ryan just said was also true for me. Alexis was was talking with me when I was getting some recording equipment, and she was just like, Oh yeah, you watch uh you watched it, huh? Okay, alright. Uh sorry. I guess I'm not here for this one, though. I'll see you next time. I wasn't looking wasn't looking forward to it, I'll put it that way, because I knew that it wasn't gonna be up my alley in in any way.

SPEAKER_04 6:40

Mac, not only was I not looking forward to this, I've been dreading it since it's been on the lineup. I said, Oh no, somebody found some vaguely Easter-related holiday horror. Didn't know it wasn't gonna be Easter, so I was expecting that element. Um, but literally in my notes, because of all the things that we hadn't found out, that it's on YouTube, that right there is never a good sign. Uh I wrote in my notes before watching, I'm mad, I don't want to watch this, hot garbage bullshit. Why is this happening to me? I'm expecting budget bad acting, shitty gore effects, horrible writing, and maybe the worst movie ever. So the bar couldn't have been lower.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

I can appreciate a low bar, and it sounds like I had probably the most lofty expectations for this movie, and I I think my feelings can be summed up in two words bored and annoyed. I don't know that I felt enough passion to actively detest it to meet some like the low bar expectations here, but it was just a really humdrum time. I feel like Thankskilling was pretty offensive, but it tried to go in such a specific direction that it you can't help but like be also mad at it. You know what I mean? But this one was just, what are we doing here? I felt myself questioning my own my own existence and how I'm spending my time while I was watching this, which is very rare for me in a horror movie.

SPEAKER_00 8:00

You know, the the thought that popped into my head while watching this was somebody involved in the production of this film needs to spend serious money on therapy. I thought you were gonna say time in jail. Close enough.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

I was gonna say keep doing school assignments. I mean, everybody needs to spend a small amount of money or a lot of money on therapy. I don't think that has any bearing on this. True. I don't see this as needing therapy for any like disturbed level. I see this as wholly lacking skill. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 8:29

So what I felt while watching this movie was that I could make movies. And anytime a movie makes me feel like I could make movies, it's not a good sign because I ain't got that talent. But it felt like, wow, Chris and I could do something a lot better than this if we tried. Like I felt like hopeful about being a screenwriter and a movie maker. That's not good. Let's do it. Let's fucking make a movie. No, I'm not interested at all.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Well, that's like my life dream is to make independent independent horror films. So I mean we could do that together. Let's go.

SPEAKER_05 9:00

Listen, I am happy to help you, your project, but anytime it seems like I would be better than something like this, it means it's really bad because I can assure you acting and writing and stuff like that would not be my forte.

SPEAKER_04 9:14

I shared a lot of those feelings while watching this movie. I was very confused in the first maybe five to ten minutes. I had to text the group chat and I was like, are we sure this is the right thing? Functionally, it is not sound. Uh, I was also reminded of movies that I had made in high school with my cousins, and I was like, some of those had a higher production value than what I'm watching right now. And I was confused. I feel like there were a lot of mistakes that were made, and a lot of things were done to cover those mistakes up, and those cover-ups were very distracting. So, in addition to those feelings, I also felt general anger.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Just to clarify, I do think Paris's Phantom of the Opera Singing Lesson TikTok video has a higher production value than this movie.

SPEAKER_04 9:55

I agree.

SPEAKER_05 9:56

I watch like 50 TikToks a day that have higher production value than this, just based on the audio alone.

SPEAKER_04 10:02

This podcast has better production value than the movie.

SPEAKER_05 10:05

I would argue that a lot of work has gone into this. It should. But the first time Chris did this podcast ever in the world when we didn't invest in all the equipment, it still had better production value. Literally anything that's ever been done by an adult. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

If you take a like smartphone video of dog pooping, better production value already.

SPEAKER_05 10:23

Truly. If you have a microphone and just leave it on, okay, I'm done.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Can I say though that something really surprised me about this movie when watching it? And it was the fact that these really poorly acted characters consistently made the best decision to get themselves killed.

SPEAKER_05 10:39

Yeah, I was worried about where that sentence was going. They made a lot of those decisions, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Yeah, I don't know that I was necessarily surprised by that, but I think the biggest disappointment that I had overall was the total absence of the urban legend. Because I think even if it at least had that bit to stand on, I think it could have been moderately more entertaining, and I think it could have fetched a better cast. I think people probably looked at this script and said, absolutely not. But I think the other thing that did surprise me was that despite being a movie about a man in a bunny costume, this for sure felt like Jeepers Creepers, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Wrong Turn all put together.

SPEAKER_04 11:18

Couldn't agree more, Chris. That surprised me very much with how blatantly they were willing to attempt to rip off those uh some of some of the ideas in those movies you've mentioned. And I think I was very disappointed with how poorly they did that.

SPEAKER_05 11:31

Yeah, it this movie is kind of like interesting in how bad it chose to do so many things. I think the biggest thing that I was disappointed about is that we never got any story about anything, not about what anyone was doing, honestly, really about who anybody was, and that's from both sides of the story. Like, I don't I I didn't even really realize we were in Virginia, and maybe it's because I'm a dumb, but we were just on a road. That is all we got from this. And it's not that I wanted more, but I do think when we do things like I don't know, like Jack Frost, you know, it's horrible, but at least we get like a story, and maybe there's somebody we care about. This movie was like, nope, it's a bunny in the woods. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 12:14

I think that movie possessed a level of self-awareness in its badness that was endearing and invited us to be in on the joke. Whereas this movie I think was very sincere, and I'd say the scariest thing about this film was that it left me with a feeling of fear for the future of the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

Come on, Paris. Choices were made.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

It's okay. If this is on the lineup, I fear for future episodes in which things like this may happen again.

SPEAKER_05 12:41

I want you to know I have felt that way many times, and y'all made me feel like I've was crazy for these other movies that we watch sometimes, where I'm like, it feels like I'm dying while I'm watching this. So you deserve this. Enjoy it, Paris. It's okay. We'll be alright.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

This too shall pass. This movie absolutely frightens small children, maybe like three, four-year-olds at like age range right there. Like they would probably be scared of this.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

Here's the problem though. Every picture you see of a bunny costume on the internet is scarier than this movie. There is one brief moment of tension, and it wasn't because the movie made me feel tense, but rather I was like, you know what this reminds me of? Joyride. Man, what if what if I was in Joyride? And then what if like the trucker, you know? What what if he was wearing a bunny costume? Wouldn't that be fucking weird? You know what I mean? But it wasn't like this movie itself scared the shit out of me.

SPEAKER_04 13:35

It did also remind me of a scary scene from Jeepers Creepers, which made me want to go back and rewatch that movie.

SPEAKER_05 13:41

Yeah, I love to watch that again after watching this. I mean, it's obviously not scary. And also, I know that you guys are like referencing other movies. I mean, I know why you are, but uh, I don't I don't even want to put this in the category. I honestly don't even want to consider this movie horror. I think it is just something that existed at some point in time, and we've been unfortunate enough to watch it, but it's definitely not original, even in whatever it's trying to do. We can't give it any credit for that at all.

SPEAKER_00 14:09

I think you could call this original if you've like if you've never seen another movie in your life.

SPEAKER_05 14:14

It does it get any originality for having a bunny.

SPEAKER_00 14:17

No, I actually think so it's a zero for me to begin with, and then the bunny choice actually gives it a negative one.

SPEAKER_05 14:23

A bunny with work with work gloves.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

Right. He had they had like some good mechanics gloves, so his hands, like if he's working on the car or something, they're gonna they're gonna stay undestroyed. But no, still still negative one.

SPEAKER_04 14:35

I think this movie definitely qualifies as horror. I have no problem categorizing it as such, but originality this movie does not. It was lied to several times and told that it was an original, and it is nothing of the sort.

SPEAKER_05 14:49

I think it's just that I don't want it to be considered a movie. Like this is a school project. That's my problem. It's a horror school project, but it's not a movie.

SPEAKER_01 14:59

I think what this movie has is ambition and audacity. I think those things can be said about it. Had this movie gone the way of the urban legend, and it'd just be another movie about a guy in a costume killing people, it would still be more original than than this. Because again, this is a weird mixture of so many other movies, but it doesn't find enough of its own identity to actually stand on its own two legs, except for the reputation it gets from being technically unstable the entire way through. And that takes it all the way into the ending. The ending was a big what the fuck moment for me. And I don't know that it was one of like surprise, but it's more like what the fuck? This ending didn't even come close to justifying the means of reaching it. It's sometimes it's like you get that relief of the movie's over, but in this one it was just the entire way.

SPEAKER_00 15:52

I mean, this film lands like a Cessna with no landing gear, landing in a puddle of water large enough only to wet a single toe.

SPEAKER_05 15:58

You know, Mac, I don't know if I can back that like description, but I'm on board with the sentiment. Chris, you're exactly right. It just doesn't have the satisfaction of at least this horrible movie is over. It just ends. And it's there. And you're like, well, that's time I'll never have back.

SPEAKER_04 16:16

At first, the ending left me with what I thought were a lot of questions until I considered that questions imply that I would like to know the answers, but that is not the case. The ending of this movie was a floppy wet noodle, and that is what I say.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Well, look, I don't think it's any secret which way this is gonna go. I think at this point scoring this movie might be just a formality, but let's go ahead and make our way to our ratings. How many people died in this film?

SPEAKER_04 16:39

So, as it turns out, 21 people were killed in this movie, and sadly I was not one of them.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

And what about the animal report? There's some vague animal brutality, but nothing to be worried about. Let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. Bunny Man from 2011 was it a hack or a slash, and I think I'm gonna go ahead and just get mine out of the way. This movie isn't a waste of time, but only in the sense that this was like a collective experience so we could trash talk this among friends in our community. I think there's room for this to be put on if you want to drunkenly laugh and commiserate with friends, but even then, there are better movies to do that with. There are movies that are more fun for that. And if I had tried watching this alone, like outside of the podcast, I for sure wouldn't have finished it. It's a hack, but when I say it wasn't a waste of time, it's because it was productive. This movie is in the running for my pick for at least three hack categories in our end-of-year recap. So, you know, I did something with my time.

SPEAKER_05 17:36

Chris, you are so sweet and lovely and positive and seeing the silver lining in this situation, because this movie is a total joke and a waste of time. And the most frustrating part about this movie is how technically poor it is. And I swear to God, if one person says the word camp while we talk about this movie, and you try to tell me anything about it being campy, we're gonna have a lot of problems. Because that's not what this is. This is a bad movie, bad acting, particularly really bad audio. And while I appreciate Chris saying that it's been productive, we do have to have things to fill our hack list at the end of the year. I could have done without it. I could have found hacks in other places. I do really good at that. So for me, it's a very strong hack. If you want to be miserable with us, you can watch it, but I wouldn't recommend it.

SPEAKER_04 18:28

Chris, I'm not sure that I can agree that this was productive. This was absolutely a waste of all of our time. I'm glad you didn't feel that way. That makes me, I guess, a little bit less disappointed, upset, frustrated with what happened here today. Uh I waited till the last possible moment to watch this movie. I watched it earlier this morning. Um, there's a lot of audio issues in this movie, like Ryan was mentioning. There's, I think most of the dialogue was dubbed in post and not well. It was not done well, it was done very poorly. Um, this was a joyless experience. Uh, this movie was made with no love, care, or discernible skill or talent. Um easily the worst movie we've ever rated or watched for the podcast. And I every time I say that, I'm like, it can't get worse than this. And then here we are. Worst movie of all time from the pod. Uh I I do not think it is possible that there is another movie that we could review this year that will be worse than this. I think this is a shoe-in for worst movie of the year when we come down to our end of your superlatives. This movie had no vision, and overall it was just the longest hour and a half of my life, and I will never get that time back. So, listener, do not watch this. You can find it free on YouTube. Do not do so.

SPEAKER_01 19:38

I want to go back and actually correct something that I said earlier. And Paris, you reminded me of this in your speech. The biggest surprise I have is that there are some folks in this movie who went on to have long and prosperous careers.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

No.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

We've all done terrible things.

SPEAKER_04 19:53

Oh my god. Also, Ryan, you don't have to worry, nothing about this movie successfully pulled off camp. So fear not.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Yes, I know.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Well, you know what, we've mentioned Thankskilling a few times, and Thankskilling used to be what I thought of when I thought of the word hack. But wow, this movie is so much worse. An hour and a half for like three years of having my teeth pulled with a rusty spoon. Bunyman is both totally a joke and absolutely a waste of time. Crap acting, crap storyline, crap characters, crap gore, dubbing that sounds worse than a 1970s porno, the protagonists are incredibly stupid, yet somehow perfectly matched with an antagonist that is shockingly more stupid than a foul-mouthed turkey hand puppet. Bunyman is at its core one large act of violence against women. The only thing worse in this movie is the fact that someone made it and thought, you know what, other humans should see what I've done. It's a hack.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Well, the hack from Mac is a nail in the coffin, and Bunyman from 2011 is a universal hack. Now, this is not a movie that we recommend you watch. What you should do instead is just, you know, listen to our fake sponsor in the middle of the episode, and then join us in the second half so we can just tell you about all the things you didn't really miss and just have fun with us anyway. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_03 21:11

So, your car breaks down and you're stranded on the side of the road. You have no idea what to do. You don't even know where to turn. You feel helpless and hopeless. You don't even know how to fix a car. You're gonna be late for work, or worse, you're not even gonna make it at all. Triple Slay is here to help. We'll come and ruin your day in the worst possible way. We'll take your money, we'll take your dignity, and we'll leave you stranded in the middle of nowhere with a broken cap and a bill for services we never rented. Having a bad day? Call Triple Slay. If you ain't got the money, we got to call the bunny.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Welcome back, folks. You're now entering the spoiler zone for Bunny Man from 2011, which has unsurprisingly earned a universal hack. We have a lot to get to, but before we get into The specifics of why this movie was so shitty. We do have a little bit of gore to attend to. Paris, what's the gore score for this movie?

SPEAKER_04 22:07

Is shitty an option for the gore score?

SPEAKER_01 22:09

It is not, but it can be in your heart.

SPEAKER_04 22:11

Okay, then we're gonna give it a medium. Maybe a sh medium could work. Uh the gore, it was there. It was, in some moments, plentiful, but the quality was not. Much like the rest of this movie.

SPEAKER_05 22:24

I mean, it's sometimes it was there. It was there a couple of times, but there were several times where it was just, I don't know, red ketchup corn syrup. Was it there when she deep throated a knife? Yeah, the deep the knife, the deep throat was like a 10 out of 10. Honestly, when that started, I was like, well, okay, we could we could do a little something with that, but then it didn't carry through and we just got a lot of uh blood spatter, not really gore.

SPEAKER_04 22:47

Yeah. Not unlike Hatchet, we have a notable chainsaw kill in which we can't afford to show the chainsaw touching the person, but what we can show you is that person from the neck up having buckets of blood just thrown at their face.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Hey, I will say though, this bunny has more kills with a chainsaw than Leatherface does in the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

SPEAKER_04 23:09

You hate to see it.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

That's this movie's claim to fame. We got more chainsaw kills.

SPEAKER_04 23:13

Now, there were, let's say, 21 kills in this movie. A lot of them were unknown strangers that were kind of showcased in a not so exciting way. But of the kills that we did see on screen in the fun way, what was everyone's fave?

SPEAKER_01 23:28

I'm gonna go the random woman who we see at the beginning, uh jumping around, hopping in trucks, then not trying to escape those trucks, falling asleep, taking a nap in the truck, and then being chained to a tree, chained to a truck, and then ripped in half, and still not really dead because we could see her breathing, but that's fine. That one was probably the best one.

SPEAKER_05 23:49

Yeah, also she was still sitting in the back of the truck when they did the like we're gonna wait it out thing, and showed five seconds of the two cars sitting in next to each other, and she's just still sitting in the back of the truck, and I was like, Wow, what a what an effort to live you're making here.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Rush, she could have lived so many fucking times.

SPEAKER_05 24:08

She could have lived so hard, it would have been great.

SPEAKER_04 24:11

You have to want to live.

SPEAKER_05 24:12

Truly.

SPEAKER_04 24:12

Which I don't think she did.

SPEAKER_05 24:14

She did not, she didn't want to be in the movie, which was honestly not a bad idea. So my favorite kill is definitely gonna be the deep throat dagger, if you will, because it was uh honestly, it started us off where I was like, man, we might get something good, and we didn't, but that one it felt like the most realistic gore. I know that it was like definitely obviously practical effects, and then the rest of the movie I spent kind of looking at each kill, thinking, how are they gonna make it seem like that happened? As well as the car accidents where they clearly were using somebody's Honda Civic and didn't want to break it. So I kept thinking, how are they gonna make it look like it was damaged? And uh the the one kill that I think worked for me is the Deep Throat Dagger.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Okay, so jokes on Alexis. I know she thought she got away with missing this one, but she also missed the movie in which she could have said Deep Throat, and no one would have blamed her.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

So who's the real winner now? Honestly, Deep Throat Dagger sounds like someone's nickname. But uh my favorite kill was the bunny man's kill, and it was a pretty weak sauce kill, but it was just such a relief. It's as if the Forgettable Final Girl knew that what we were all thinking and was like, you don't have to look at this for another minute, because I'm gonna do this. Um I also just love anytime we get a stab kill that goes in like near the clavicle because that looks like it would hurt so much. That's true.

SPEAKER_04 25:35

There's definitely some bone scrapage going on, which definitely makes it worse. I mean, of all the kills, none of them were stellar. I loved the bitch that got ripped in half by that chain when tied to that truck. Um, but let's talk about Jack's kill. That was kind of really stupid. Where he was under the car, and then that car was hit by another car, causing the car he was under to kill him.

SPEAKER_05 25:57

I just want you to know you don't fit under that car when it's just on the ground, okay? That car does not have clearance for a human, just like casually, and we never saw anything, just like a little bit of splurted blood on the tire. Like, give us more.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 26:13

Jack was certainly compact.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

What else sucked about that moment is the over-explanation because we have one person who realizes Jack isn't in the car, she gets out, but then uh Jen and Tiffany are in the backseat, and Jen is saying, No, Jack wasn't in the car, Jack is under the car, Jack was out of the car when the car got hit. Jack is under the car, and it's like, What the fuck are we doing here, guys? What are we doing?

SPEAKER_05 26:37

I mean, this already came after the first time the truck shows up on the road and the guy goes, What are you kidding me? And then just like acts like that the whole time. So I was like, Oh god, the dialogue here is gonna be real rough. And ooh, it was. Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Or the 30 fucking minutes before anyone says a goddamn thing. And the first thing is dubbed.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

And the and the 15 minutes straight of a truck horn blaring. That was awesome. Can I say that like the gore was of a sort that had they made a deliberate choice to make this camp, it would have worked perfectly with that. But because they didn't, it failed miserably.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Oh, 100%. There was potential there. Even with the buckets of blood being being thrown up at someone, that's the same kind of shit we got in Hatchet, which is 2% camp, when we have that opening sequence and we just see blood being thrown at a tree. It could have worked. They didn't have the skill to actually make that happen.

SPEAKER_05 27:32

Yeah, it also didn't have that like tinge of funny that I think is intended to go along with camp. It and I again I think it has a lot to do with like how it technically failed, where you were just so taken out of it by all the things going on that you didn't even get a chance to enjoy a bucket of blood being thrown on somebody. That would have been fun. We could have done that together.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

Yeah, we could have been in on the joke, but instead we were just being laughed at.

SPEAKER_01 27:54

Yeah, for being miserable through this process, yes. Oh, you're kind enough to give us your time and attention, let's punish that. Yeah. The tagline of this movie.

SPEAKER_04 28:02

Joke's on you.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

I will say though that, like gore aside, the bunny costume I think was my favorite visual of this film. Only because it's such a regular ass bunny costume that I think it could it it could have had the potential, were it used in a different movie, to be kind of creepy because of how friendly it looks. It wasn't even like particularly bloody, you know.

SPEAKER_05 28:26

The first time we like really get a good look at it around the tree when they get towards the cabin, it's just kind of like funny. Like he could have been a really creepy dude, in a sense of not trying to be creepy, you know, a really creepy killer that looks nice. I don't think that was my favorite visual. My favorite visual is the hot mess that's the first, whatever that is, the square, like snuff film that happens at the beginning. Whatever that was, it felt like it had nothing to do with anything, but I enjoyed it more than most of the rest of the movie because it at least felt like we were gonna go somewhere and do something. There was gonna be some tension aside from car horns. So I guess that's what I have to go with because this movie sucks visually. Apparently, it's Bunny Man's Home Movies, though. Uh not like we would know that from anything in the story.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

Yeah, not that we should really know it because it was a little bit incoherent, but towards the end, we're presented with the situation in which we're supposed to figure that out, but it's a fucking stretch.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

I won't lie. I don't have a kind word to say about this movie. So favorite visual element feels like a challenge. Paris, I'm there with you.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

I I thought about it for a while, I was filling these notes out, and I've actually wrote a lot for most of the other sections here, but there's nothing I liked about this movie visually. It was like one long wince and eye roll from start to finish. And I think at one point there was like a chase scene where we get shaky cam for a minute, and I literally I was like, nope, can't do it. I'm not gonna be able to get through this film. And thankfully that wasn't the rest of the film. They almost had me. If they were gonna do that the whole time, it was gonna, it was gonna be game over. I think that might have been part of like that intro snuff film thing. But no, I just like didn't like anything of it. I didn't like the coloring of it, I didn't like the cinematography, I didn't like the set. I think they would have been much better keeping it small scale, especially with a limited budget. Had they actually found like a bridge slash tunnel they could have used for this, it would have worked so much better to keep it small scale and maybe limit the number of characters in the film, but they didn't do any of that. So yeah, I didn't like looking at it at all. I agree, Mac.

SPEAKER_04 30:21

I will say that while Rachel's outfit was absolutely hideous, it did look like the outfit that I wear on Kate Denson when I play Dead by Daylight, and that reminded me of something that I do enjoy. So maybe that's my favorite visual element.

SPEAKER_05 30:31

Mine was definitely the tunic. Like, you know when we used to wear shirts?

SPEAKER_02 30:35

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:36

Like they were like kind of dresses, and then you'd sometimes wear it like a shirt with like leggings underneath. Like the green tunic in this was just like, ugh, kill me now, please. She deserved to die for wearing that with jeans, with capris.

SPEAKER_01 30:50

She didn't deserve to die for climbing a tree to escape death, only to just fall down. Like, really, not even fall from a tree. It's like a branch, I think, was falling, or like the camera was spinning and you heard the sound effect of a tree cracking.

SPEAKER_05 31:02

You know that I have a lot to say about this. The time that it takes for that little baloney chainsaw that he had to cut down that tree that she was on is ridiculous. And for you to try to make me think that that woman climbed that tree to escape and then sat in that tree the whole time while it was being cut down, because that was what like it was supposed to look like, I think, until it fell and she was taken back. Are you joking me? And that was a moment where I was concerned that someone would say this movie was campy in a good way. That was a the one moment where I was like, Don't you dare, don't you dare come at me with that campiness.

SPEAKER_01 31:37

No, not at all, but I do think it is far more likely that the bunny man would have gotten his chainsaw stuck in that tree than actually be able to cut through it. Absolutely. I've gotten chainsaws stuck in trees of of much less thickness. So I just don't I just don't buy it for a second.

SPEAKER_05 31:55

Chainsaw on trees is not an easy thing to do, especially if you don't have a well-maintained chainsaw, and ain't I don't believe that bunny man was out here greasing and tightening.

SPEAKER_00 32:05

It was a perfect setup for camp though. And if if they had made that choice to make it campy, it would have worked so well because she could have reacted like, oh, it's taking him a super long time, and he could have been like tired and stuff, and she's just like waiting for him to eventually chop it down. But it was a hundred percent, they didn't have a budget to like get a logging permit and cut down a tree, so they just are like just wave it around as if you're gonna like actually do something to that tree, and eventually we'll just have her fall because that's how that works. We'll just invoke gravity on her. But the my that's actually goes into my favorite scene because my favorite scene was also a setup for camp that they just didn't use because they didn't have their wits about them. But when Forgettable Character Number Three thought he could fix that broken down 2002 Toyota Crapola with the gym socks and used condoms that were haphazardly left in the trunk. What was that? Like, what was he gonna do? And there was he just gonna stuff stuff into tubes? I mean, this what this would have been comedy gold if the filmmakers didn't think Waterdown Mayonnaise was spicy.

SPEAKER_05 32:59

So many analogies tonight. I am gonna be honest with you guys. There's nothing here for me. I don't have a favorite scene. I I am gonna come up with a best part for later to be nice, but I just need to like take a moment to really go into my qualms about the audio in this movie. Since I don't have a favorite scene, I'm gonna talk trash. The fact that we get so much dubbing for no reason, it feels like every single scene that's inside the car is just like no audio. Like they just completely cut the audio and just put some dubbing over it. Then they dub it in completely different inflection. Like one time a guy at the beginning was just like, What was I supposed to do? And in the movie, he's like, What was I supposed to do? And it just doesn't even make sense. It's horrible. And we talked about the car horn a little bit. Let me tell you what really got me Mac. And I didn't text you about this because I was like, I'll save it. When they're outside walking through the woods, there's just one bug noise on repeat, okay? Over and over again. You get the same chirp over and over. It's a complete pattern. There's no like, maybe we'll pause for a second and then do it. Nope. Whole time, same bug. So we go from like ridiculous horn noises and that and dubbing. And then sometimes they just completely cut the audio, just out of nowhere. Just fold no audio while you're looking at something. So yeah, that's that that's my qualm here. No favorite scene. I don't know what you want from me. This movie's horrible.

SPEAKER_04 34:24

Same, Ryan.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Okay, I'm gonna go for a favorite scene. Not because it was actually good, but because it happens to contain the briefest exchange that I found almost slightly funny. And I could see how the main actress, Rachel, went on to have some kind of career after this because the straight face she had to maintain while having the nerve to deliver this fucking exchange is just outrageous. And it's when they actually go to this guy's cabin in the fucking woods asking to use a phone. And on the way there, they find all manner of Blair Witch style bags of spirit Halloween or Michael's skeleton bone props just hanging in bags. And there's this moment where she says, I don't know if you know this, but it looks like there's bags of bones down the way a little. And he's just like, so? And she says, Well, it's not exactly proper burial procedure. And he says, You know whose bones they are? No. Then don't worry about it. It was the only time I actually laughed in this entire fucking movie. So that that gets it for me, even though the rest of that scene is fucking disgusting.

SPEAKER_05 35:31

I just have such a hard time understanding how the person that made this movie thought, hmm, we'll get some bones from whatever craft store. We'll put them in the truck, okay? And then later we'll hang them from trees, and it'll be your sign that where they're going is the same place that the bunny man goes because he's got the got him in the truck, you know. Like, why was that a good idea? Why did that seem like a great little nugget of I and I think people do it in other movies. People are like, oh, here's a little thing, here's another little thing they tie together. Bags of bones hanging from trees? It just why?

SPEAKER_00 36:08

But that wasn't as bad as the meat cleaver. That was so fake that they had to like when he when he chopped it into the tabletop, it doesn't stick because it's fake. So he just kind of like held it for a second and then like moved it to the side.

SPEAKER_05 36:18

I mean, everything, every effect thing where it was like, again, how are we gonna make it look like this car got got damaged? How are we gonna make it seem like somebody got hurt here? Like, oh, it's just so bad.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

So I don't really have a favorite scene either, Ryan. Uh, the audio definitely blew my mind with what the hell was going on. There's specifically a scene where I guess, and it was hard to follow this story because it was poorly told. But there's a scene where I guess they had slept in the woods overnight and then they wake up, no audio, and maybe this girlfriend plays a prank on her boyfriend, not too sure, but she keeps saying shh and everyone's laughing, and he fell, and really no clue what that was, but it was just so bizarre that I really remembered that. I was like, what is happening? Did they I think the reason that they didn't have any audio is because they didn't know how to record quality audio outside, they probably recorded it, and then they were like, This is unusable. We have to go back and fix this horrible mistake. Yes. The scene that you were talking about, Chris, I actually had like 1% enjoyed that. That man in the woods who refused to let them use their phone was like harassing uh the people there. And as they were leaving, I'm pretty sure he also offered to sexually harass one of the males. And I was like, okay, bisexual bigot, work. Okay, representation matters.

SPEAKER_05 37:36

I would like to note though, he was playing gross country guy who doesn't see humans a lot. And I think that's like the easiest role to play. And even his acting, I was like, can you not think of a gross thing to say? Why are you thinking so hard? It like it wasn't giving gross man at all. It was giving, I'm someone's dad, and I'm really sad I have to say this.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

It was a huge timing issue because you know when they film um, you know, one party and then they separately film the other's response and they just cut it to look like they're talking to each other. Yeah. So it 100% felt like they did that and just added too much like buffer time in between. So we just get too much time of like his face not doing anything.

SPEAKER_05 38:13

Yeah, I was just awkwardly there, and he's like, uh, do you know who they are? You know whose bones they are? No, bye.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

And also just like a lot of unexpected, unwarranted, just like fuck off. And just like people getting hyper-aggressive with one another, seemingly unprovoked.

SPEAKER_05 38:28

It would be me in an improv class. If you asked me to be a gross country man, I'd just be like, like, that's all it was.

SPEAKER_01 38:37

I see, here's the thing though, I think the trouble with finding the best possible scene comes down to how fucking atrocious every single one of these characters was. Not even the survivors are ones that I enjoyed. I think Rachel's boyfriend is the biggest fucking douchebag and the worst piece of shit. He is in the running for worst survivor, hands down. The worst part of this movie actually comes down to that, and I know I have to give it a compliment here in a minute, but this shit is boring because we're not living in the campiness of the bunny man himself. It's because these kids are not where it's at, and we spend so much time on them, and they're literally just walking. They're just walking. One of them can't fucking drive. Uh, he's gotten them into all manner of issues, and it's just disappointing.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

God, the people in this movie were stupid. I just I'm sorry, I don't know if that was the right place in the in the show to like say this, but they were really stupid and made such poor decisions, and it hurt me every step of the way. And I didn't even bother to learn their names because they were all so stupid and replaceable. Same. Like, if someone is acting that way on the road in the beginning and you can get ahead of them, and you're in the middle of nowhere, just floor it, man. Just go as fast as possible and get where you're going. That truck, it it gets like three miles to the gallon. Just keep going.

SPEAKER_05 39:54

That truck will barely get out of second gear. But I only have a 97 Corolla.

SPEAKER_00 39:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 39:59

That truck was an 85 diesel. It's not going anywhere.

SPEAKER_04 40:04

I also love that their solution was okay, maybe we just wait it out with this man parked behind us forever, I guess. That's the plan.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Their first solution was to send one of the girls out there, which is fucking terrible.

SPEAKER_04 40:17

Right. And she's like, clearly, we need to apologize. We've done something to upset him. And I'm like, stop.

SPEAKER_05 40:22

My favorite part is when he was deciding to wait it out. They really, really tried to up this thing of like, well, let's all make good decisions. So he goes, Does anyone else have a better option? I'm taking suggestions. Like, I don't think this was a good time for suggestions, and no one had any good ones, so let it go.

SPEAKER_00 40:38

I mean, so you it goes all the way to the end. So begin in the beginning, they're thinking, like, okay, um, we're just gonna wait instead of just flooring it and getting past and going where they're gonna go. But at the end, he even makes a statement um that like who is it? John, I think made the statement that like we we can't escape from them in a car, but we can like escape from them on foot or something really stupid. And I was like, no, you can't.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Here's what this motherfucker said. He said, We're safer outside the car than in the car. Yes. What the fuck? So his uh his solution is to carry his girlfriend pretending to be dead and offer her to the moneyman and say, You've taken everything from me. What? What he asks her, do you trust me? And I say, ma'am, you shouldn't. He got you into this whole fucking mess.

SPEAKER_05 41:27

Yeah, and also they clearly drove for 30 seconds when they left before they were about to switch. Like, could you just drive a couple hours and switch?

SPEAKER_01 41:36

Like, what is that? And why? Uh he's so garbage. He can't be bothered to let his woman drive the fucking patriarchy.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Also, if it is if this was a can be film, the bunyman would have walked out, like, cocked his head sideways, and just stabbed her and then kept going and moved on. True. Like, that would have been the right choice, and that was an issue the entire time that he was coming up with this plan. I see him like, you know, going through it, putting it on the ground and everything as if she's dead. And it's like, she has no protection against the bunyman. So if he walks out, he could literally just go, I'll make sure she's dead first, stab. Okay, let's move on. What's the rest of uh what's the rest of your offer here?

SPEAKER_01 42:10

Yeah, the bunny man does like tilt his head to the side, like, how the fuck is did this happen? She was clearly alive when she ran out of the house.

SPEAKER_04 42:18

They were all garbage. Everybody in this movie was garbage, the performances were garbage, the writing, the dialogue, the choices, the outfits, the casting.

SPEAKER_00 42:27

Uh anything I missed? Yes. The thing that's the most garbage is the Pops rape scene.

SPEAKER_04 42:33

Oh. Yep. And you know what? Not even a surprise, because of course there was a scene like that in here, but I was just so done at that point that I was like, get out of my fucking face.

SPEAKER_05 42:45

Oh, I literally fast forwarded. I was like, no, I'm good. This is ridiculous. I'm over it. It was horrible.

SPEAKER_01 42:51

Instead of giving a best part, I was gonna give a worst part, and it was gonna be that, but there it is. There it is.

SPEAKER_04 42:57

There it is.

SPEAKER_05 42:57

Other worst parts, notably how disgusting the country man was that wouldn't let them use the phone, the odd inclusion of other people in the story, specifically like the person in the bunny man's house and like the people in the car that led them to the house. Those two people, I don't know what their point was. I mean, I understand they had roles, but they didn't for what? For why? Who cares?

SPEAKER_01 43:23

Because Texas Chains all massacre.

SPEAKER_05 43:25

Right, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 43:26

I mean, the way I understood it is like they were family.

SPEAKER_05 43:29

Right, yeah. I mean, that was fine.

SPEAKER_00 43:31

Right, but they shouldn't have done that, first of all. It's way more creepy if he's alone.

SPEAKER_05 43:34

Yeah, way more creepy. There was just like many people in the house, and it was like, okay, I guess. I do have to say though, the best part of this movie is when it's over. But unfortunately, they even try to give you some weird stuff during the end credits that it suck. Like, even the ending of this sucks, but when it finishes, you're finally like, thank you, I'm free now. This has been torture.

SPEAKER_01 43:53

They just couldn't let well enough alone, could they? They just had to keep going even through the end. All jokes aside, I do want to go back to. What my favorite visual was, which is the bunny man's costume, which is the best part of this film. If somehow people wanted to like reapproach a franchise of the Bunny Man, because I don't even believe in the core concept anymore. I don't even want to really watch the rest of these movies. But if someone with talent and budget could make a campy, like malignant style version of Bunyman, I'd be into that because of how good I think the potential is for that costume. But that's the only compliment I can give this.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

I'm down for that, but I also wish they would do it like the the like the Joker movie, honestly, to where we uh we got a lot of like emotional backstory for the bunny man.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

Oh fuck that. No, I want I don't want it to even remotely confuse this as being a serious thing. I do have one little best part.

SPEAKER_05 44:50

The best part of this movie is again at the end, and it's the fact that the woman drives away in the end. She's the savior, she saves the day, she gets us home free. It's all her. She wins. If she had been driving this first car, they probably wouldn't have been in this situation at all.

SPEAKER_04 45:05

Hey oh. So hear me out. The one of the taglines on the cover of this movie is pretty girls die young. So I think the best part of this movie is that she didn't die and that the movie actually dragged her for it.

SPEAKER_05 45:16

That's terrible.

SPEAKER_04 45:17

You know, please let me know if it's ever possible to unwatch a movie. Actually, wait, is the best part of this movie this episode of Hackerslash that we've made about it? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

I would argue you're right.

SPEAKER_04 45:31

And that's improv.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

Well, I can confidently say I'll never watch this again. Ever.

SPEAKER_04 45:37

Absolutely not.

SPEAKER_05 45:38

I think rather than other forms of torture, you could make people watch this movie. You don't need, I don't know, what do people do? Waterboarding and, you know, withholding food and drink. You just make people watch this and they will tell you whatever they got to keep to themselves.

SPEAKER_00 45:54

Yeah, I don't want ever want to see this again. Um, and if somebody suggests it, that is just disrespectful.

SPEAKER_01 46:00

Alright, well, obviously this movie was trash, and I feel like it's a very rare time when there's just so much hate and vitriol for a for a movie on this podcast. I know that it comes in ones, it comes in twos, sometimes it even comes in threes, but for this to be a universal hack of this magnitude, I couldn't even think of a single compliment besides a damn costume. Uh, let's see if there's anything redeemable about it in Max Factor Fiction.

SPEAKER_00 46:23

So, quick response, there is not. Uh, today's factor fiction is gonna take a different turn. And I've only got three points here, so it's gonna be quick and painless, unlike this movie. Number one, the American Easter bunny tradition came from a German tradition of the Easter hare dropping off colored eggs into good kids' nests made of hats.

SPEAKER_05 46:42

I'll go fact.

SPEAKER_00 46:43

Yeah, that sounds really German. Fact. Yeah, it's a fact. Thanks to German Lutheran setting settling in Pennsylvania, we now get literal pounds of sugary poison delivered in baskets once a year. And number two, in Sweden, however, children dress up as witches for Easter and walk their neighborhoods wishing people a happy Easter.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

Also fact.

SPEAKER_00 46:59

Yeah, I really want that to be true. Fact. Yes, this is fact. In the Swedish lore, witches would fly to some like special mountain the Thursday before Easter, so you know, no need to induce insulin resistance. You go, Sweden. And number three, in Australia, they needed a bunny equivalent, so the Easter quoka, the happy-looking animal that we see in the internet memes.

SPEAKER_05 47:18

Uh- I don't even understand the question, but I'll go fact.

SPEAKER_00 47:20

I'm gonna say fiction.

SPEAKER_04 47:21

I don't know what that animal is.

SPEAKER_05 47:22

Me neither.

SPEAKER_00 47:23

What about the jackalope?

SPEAKER_05 47:25

Is it a kangaroo?

SPEAKER_00 47:26

It's a quoka.

SPEAKER_05 47:26

Is it real?

SPEAKER_00 47:27

It's a real animal. Have you not seen the smiling like animal from Australia?

SPEAKER_05 47:31

No.

SPEAKER_00 47:32

Oh, you haven't been on the internet long enough, apparently, but maybe we have. This is a fiction. Um, so they did need an equivalent, but it wasn't the quoka. It was the Easter Bilby, a long-eared marsupial. And this has been your Easter Bunny factor fiction.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Well, there you have it, folks. Bunny Man from 2011 has earned a universal hack unapologetically. Now, we've had lots to talk about here, but it doesn't end here by any means. You want to know what you think? Did you also hate this fucking movie? Have you even seen it? Did you listen to the second half of this episode to spare yourself from the experience of having seen it? Did you search it up on YouTube and regret that decision? Let us know. You can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free in our Discord. You can click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_00 48:13

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode, consider becoming one of our patrons. Visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to enjoy more of the show with early access, extended episodes, bonus content, and live shows.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

We'll see you next time, folks, and remember, we're gonna need a lot of therapy.

SPEAKER_00 48:28

Bye.