222: Jaws 3-D (1983)

SPEAKER_01 0:04

What was that? Motherfucker, you know it's a shark. You've been around sharks. That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hack or Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Here come my pride and joy. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack, a total joke, a waste of time, or a slash.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac. Hola muchachos, the gore lover Lexus, show some cheek, and you'll be back to shoveling French fries.

SPEAKER_06 0:51

And the cowardly creeper Ryan. That was my quote, but I sure I could say something else about water sports.

SPEAKER_02 0:56

This week we're bracing ourselves for the upcoming Shark Week by revisiting an iconic aquatic franchise. Before we dive in though, we have some follow-up. This is the part where we're gonna do some follow-up, and I'm not gonna sing the song.

SPEAKER_05 1:07

Let's follow up on a movie.

SPEAKER_07 1:10

That works. Yes, let's do. So we reviewed Urban Legend, and in our poll results, we had a 50-50 split, 50% hack, 50% slash.

SPEAKER_02 1:19

Which is actually very surprising. I feel like most people look back on Urban Legend fairly fondly. I wasn't expecting a 50-50 split.

SPEAKER_05 1:26

Yeah, I thought with the time frame on this movie, a lot of people would have enjoyed it during their first watch, and probably their second. I wonder how many people have watched this again.

SPEAKER_07 1:34

I feel like it's one that people forget about, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Well, if they haven't watched it again, they certainly have the opportunity to watch it for another time because Paris and I actually did a watch-along for this episode and it was a ton of fun.

SPEAKER_07 1:44

Yes, so from that watch-along, we have a couple of comments from some of our patrons. So Rob said, Doing the Urban Legend watch along with Chris in Paris, Tara Reed literally has two microphones at once during her radio show. There's no way that would work. Irritates the hell out of me. Which has nothing to do with the movie, and Rob, we love you for hating that.

SPEAKER_02 2:01

Oh, it's it's enough to be distracting. I can understand why Rob feels so passionately about it.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

That's the thing though with like ASMR, isn't it? We get like that whole stereo effect of scraping your nails on microphones.

SPEAKER_07 2:10

But not with two. They do a lot of that on TikTok. It's Chris. Trust me, if you edited this podcast, you would know how bad it is to have the microphones right next to each other. So we also have a really dramatic comment from Nathan who said, Chris, I just listened to this. And despite David Arquette not being in this movie, you still managed to drag my boy Dewey. Now I'm verclempt, disheveled, crestfallen, if you will, distraught. It was a good time. LOL. There's a lot of feelings.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Look, Nathan, I'm sorry to have let you down, but I couldn't miss a shot against Dewey. And I do love the drama with which you approached this. I'm glad you still had fun though.

SPEAKER_07 2:47

And lastly, we have a comment from Stevie B who said, We love a killer that brings an entire PowerPoint presentation to the climax.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

And that's our follow-up. When last we visited this franchise, we watched the 1978 sequel in which Chief Brody and his family faced off against another deadly 25-foot great white shark in Amity. In the years following the sequel, the film industry experienced a revival in 3D popularity. The allure of 3D, providing an edge to his directorial debut, was irresistible to Joe Alves, who had previously served as a production designer for the first two films. As such, theater-going audiences were eventually treated to disposable glasses to see the next chapter in the Brody family shark adventures. This film explores life beyond Amity and finds the Brody brothers reconnecting in SeaWorld Orlando, where another shark is on the attack. This week we're talking about Jaws 3D.

SPEAKER_05 3:34

Who's seen this one before? So I totally have seen this. It's kind of a weird thing my family loves to do at our beach house that we rent in down in Florida. They'll just put on all the Jaws. So like when you're walking in, grabbing lunch, I'm like, yeah, cool, we're at the beach, don't want to see this. Then I remember specific stuff about this movie.

SPEAKER_07 3:51

I obviously never saw this. I do, however, wish I could have seen it in 3D because I feel like that's part of the experience, and you don't get that now. Me and Mac were like, can we find blue and red glasses somewhere?

SPEAKER_02 4:02

You can definitely go to a friend's house who has a 3D TV and watch it.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Yeah, I I tried to find a Tom Machine back to uh 2015 to find a 3D TV to watch this on, but I couldn't. Um I have seen 3D before, but I've never seen Jaws 3D. So this was this was a first for me. I've seen obviously the first two with you all. I've seen the first one, obviously, many times. But when we were watching the first two, Chris, I remember you talking about this movie a bunch. And so it was like cemented into my brain that like when we get to this, it's a distinct feeling.

SPEAKER_02 4:31

It is a distinct feeling in comparison to the first two. Some think it's for good reasons, some think it's for bad reasons, but this is a movie that I've seen several times, and I've made no secret of the fact that Jaws 3D is one of, if not my absolute favorite, Jaws movies. Now I know that sounds crazy to say because a lot of people fucking hate this movie, but I think I I found Jaws 2 so particularly boring that there's something adventurous about this one and it has a tone to it that felt more entertaining or at least kept me along for the ride when I watched it as a kid. Now, I haven't seen it in a few years though, and I re-watched the documentary Blackfish a million times back when it came out, and I was wondering, is this still gonna be enjoyable to me given all of that? Or how would I receive it differently looking back now?

SPEAKER_00 5:25

I still have not seen Blackfish. I am familiar with the general idea of what nasty things are done to see animals though.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Well, it's worth a watch, and it used to be on Netflix, but now it's available for free on Tubi. And I have dropped a link in the show notes.

SPEAKER_05 5:39

Mac, I cannot believe you haven't seen Blackfish. Because to me, I feel like that is what kind of catalysts this second watch or whatever watch this may be for me. What really got me watching this and remembering the freaking visuals in this movie, so I was expecting to really dislike this movie, remembering that the visuals were bad, and then continuing that onto this watch.

SPEAKER_07 6:02

I mean, it's a Jaws movie, right? So you're gonna get like, I don't know, water, fish, hopefully hot chicks. What I mean, what is there to expect? Like it's a it's a shark. They can't be but so different, but I guess that's kind of just what I what I went into it with. It's kind of like you just have an open mind for Jaws. You don't take Jaws too seriously. Jaws is here to play games. Don't be a fuddy daddy about Jaws, just let him do his thing, don't take it too seriously. So that's what I expected going in.

SPEAKER_00 6:27

See, that's weird to me because I think Jaws 1, the OG, is so fantastic because it is like the archetypal monster movie, especially when it comes to naturally occurring monsters, to where all you need is super crazy, scary thing that can eat you or kill you, and an environment, and you can make a movie out of it and it can be good. So my expectations were a bit wishy-washy. Like I know, Chris, that you've talked about having a good time watching this movie, but also I had a fear that would be headed towards Sharknado territory. So I was like, are we gonna be somewhere in between? Is it gonna be like entertaining like Jaws, but like ridiculous B movie? Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Well, here's the thing: there are there are so many things that are Sharknado territory, and I don't think anything in the Jaws franchise truly gets close to Sharknado territory, even as as different as this one is compared to the rest of them. I do know though, that where you and I differentiate, I feel like we have very similar tastes, but there is a critical point in which we diverge. And I think Jaws 3D is the type of movie that I would expect us to diverge because it is not silly enough for you to, I think, have a good poke at, but it's also another entry in like a semi-serious franchise that is more renowned for just its brilliant cinematography, it's great shark mechanics. So I would expect that that you wouldn't be super down for this, but we'll see if I'm wrong.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

Yeah, well, I guess we'll see. I mean, I I did find the movie entertaining, I think it's got enough to keep you glued to the screen the whole thing. Like, we'll talk about the story, you know, we'll talk about the effects, we'll talk about the shark itself when we get there. But I think just as a film, as an entire thing, um, it was an entertaining watch. Like I did sit there on the couch watching this with my wife, and we made it the whole way through without having spent the entire time on Instagram. So I think it was effective at like keeping you in in the movie.

SPEAKER_05 8:20

Yeah, I could totally agree with that. I don't know if it's the setting of this movie per se, or like Chris, you mentioned the tone. But I think shark movies can do no wrong. I don't care if they are shar shark NATO. I do not care. But what really had me entertained about this movie, I was just so concerned for a specific actor that was so close to these animals. And I don't know if it's because I've watched Blackfish, but like she was so close, and I was like, she's just an actor. It's not like she's like a handler, she is literally an actor. It be what it be, but it it was entertaining.

SPEAKER_07 8:55

Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I feel like they had to have done some significant amount of training with animals to be able to be this close to them. I mean, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 9:03

Do you think they had the budget for that? Or they made this 3D Jaws 3D? Yeah, exactly. So they did have the budget for months of training for these actors. You know, this is the classic Jaws 3D.

SPEAKER_07 9:15

They had all the money. What do you mean? I I have to agree though, I do think it was entertaining. Just like you guys said, I wasn't asleep, I wasn't on my phone or anything. It wasn't the kind of movie where it's just like, what is this nonsense? There's some unique nonsense, okay? Normally, like our 80s nonsense is like characters that suck and I don't want to listen to them speak. That's not what happens here, but I'll I'll go into the nonsense later.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Yeah, I think this is one where the entertainment still somehow wasn't lost on me. What I did find interesting was like, okay, as a kid, you look at SeaWorld as a place that'd be super cool to go because look at all these fish. But now you're like, fuck, it's SeaWorld. And looking at this movie as an adult, and then looking at where I think society stands, right? In terms of just like harm or cruelty to animals, it was really interesting to see what was in this movie and even how some of that characterization plays out, even within its own plot. Uh, there are some moments where some characters are very clearly solely operating for greed and capitalism, and there are others who act out of uh a genuine desire to be compassionate to animals. And all parties are largely flawed, but I thought it was interesting because when I went into this, I didn't really remember the grimmer side of the decisions that are made and uh the clear evidence of just money making. For some reason, and maybe it was because of the the tunnels and everything and and the underwater footage, those elements of the story were lost on me. So I found that even watching it again, it was interesting. Not just entertaining, but actually interesting. And I feel like this movie gets a lot of shit that it doesn't quite deserve. I have a quick question.

SPEAKER_07 11:01

Would y'all go into the under underwater tunnels? No. Would you go in the underwater tunnels?

SPEAKER_05 11:06

I think I've seen too many movies, including Deep Blue Sea, which gets me so scared about going underwater. But I do love the fact, like they have it the aquarium here where you can go in a tunnel, but it's it's an aquarium per se. It's not a huge, you're not like really underwater. I do something like that, but no, I would not do a tunnel.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

I'll forego the obvious, like, okay, would I even go to SeaWorld? No. Uh, but skip past that and say, hey, if you were in an environment in which there was a shark tunnel, yeah, I'd I'd go in it because I think that shit's cool as fuck.

SPEAKER_05 11:36

Don't they have a shark slide somewhere in like the Bahamas where you go down a water slide, yeah?

SPEAKER_02 11:42

The tunnel does exist. It's called Shark Encounter in SeaWorld. This tunnel exists? I mean, like this adjacent? An underwater tunnel exists.

SPEAKER_07 11:51

Uh, I'll drop a link in the show notes. Interesting. I think it's a little different when you have like a an aquarium rather than like an open body of water or a semi-open body of water.

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah, that's a that's a lot of trust that you're gonna place in some engineers. And I don't know that I have that much trust to be like in a tube under the water. Like if something fails, I'm gonna suffocate or drown one of the two. I'm just I'm not down. The shark heart is actually the most appealing part of it. Just being in a tube that I can't get out of. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_07 12:20

I I don't know. I trust engineers all day, every day. Isn't that just existing as a human in in this day and age? You just trust a lot of engineers. Trust somebody that built my car, trust somebody that built my house.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Okay, so remember that trust the next time you get into an elevator and it makes a funky sound.

SPEAKER_07 12:35

I'm not saying I have like a ton of it. I'm just saying life is full of trusts, might as well have some fun with it, you know what I mean? If it's my time to go, it's my time to go. Anyway, the thing that I thought was very interesting during this movie that I was really surprised by is this movie takes an interesting turn where it feels like sphere vibes all of a sudden. And for a while I was like, this is like totally sphere, but with sharks. It's just same, same, but different. A little less gaslighting, a little less, like in almost you know, psychosis bits, but I don't know. A lot of the things that were going on, I was like, okay, we're a little bit of sphere vibes. I liked it.

SPEAKER_05 13:09

Well, you were vibing out. I was still disappointed in the visuals slash effects. I think I had this, you know, it was on a pedestal for me after Jaws, the original. And then I mean, two, eh, but this one, there's a specific scene that I legit hate, and it literally looks like three pieces of paper, like transparency, like stuff you saw when you were in school, was on the screen. I was so confused, and I was highly disappointed. But I don't know if that was the way 3D worked back then.

SPEAKER_07 13:41

That that's not how 3D worked, that's how Photoshop worked. And Photoshop is way better now, and it is three pieces of film laying on top of each other, basically.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

That was that was pretty disappointing because I don't think any of us really have 3D TVs anymore. Like we're kind of beyond that, right? So we're not gonna even watch it in 3D, let alone enjoy the work that they had to put in to get 3D in the 1980s, right? So I don't know. I think if we were there the first time and watched it, we'd probably have a very different experience. But that's not the thing that disappointed me the most. The story is both surprising to me and disappointing. We have characters that came back from the first two films, um, and that's weird enough as it is, considering the setting is so vastly far away from where we started. It's I mean, it's a whole it's like from one edge of the coast to the other edge of the coast, but yeah, still the East Coast.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

It'd be different if it was SeaWorld San Diego.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

That's true, that's true. But the way that these two kids grow up and the choices that they make in their lives, like it doesn't add up to me based on the first two films. And that's what I think I found mostly disappointing. I just think not even disappointing, let's just say perplexing that we just kind of write off the last however many years it's been, supposedly, uh, since we saw them in Jaws 2. Honestly, I didn't almost I almost didn't understand like using the names of characters from the first two movies. It didn't make sense to me. And that's what I think was so perplexed by. It was like, this is sure, you want to place it in the same territory of Jaws 1 and Jaws 2, that's great. But it's so far removed from Jaws 1 and Jaws 2, just give like give us new characters. Like, why even bother?

SPEAKER_07 15:15

It was weird to me that there was no mention at all of previous giant sharks. Not even like I heard there was once a there was a mention.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

What did what did they say?

SPEAKER_00 15:26

There was one mention.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

Yeah, the brother is talking about how he's traumatized by the water because of a shark attack in his hometown.

SPEAKER_07 15:32

Yes, no, but that that could have been anyone that could have said that. It that was a small thing, sure. But like when the shark was there, I felt like it was weird that we didn't like make any relation to previous Jaws at all.

SPEAKER_00 15:45

Yeah, there was no PTSD whatsoever.

SPEAKER_07 15:47

Yeah, they were like a giant 10-foot shark.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

We've never heard of that. Well, oh man, this just it blows my mind because I feel like they actually did talk about that. And now there is one moment where they definitely did not, and it threw me off. And it was a moment where Dennis Quaid's character, who he plays like the older brother from the first two films, he's like, What was that?

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Motherfucker, you know it's a shark. You've been around sharks.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

That's what I'm saying. But that was the one moment because there are these little references back to, you know, he says, Oh, I know what I'm doing, I've done this before. Or the brother is talking about how he doesn't like to go in the water, things like that. Like they have these moments of talking about it that felt good enough to me because it didn't feel like a we want to just retread the past. We don't want to just um name-drop Chief Brody every five seconds to build up the nostalgia points. It felt like, okay, these are two kids who grew up and went their separate ways, one moved further inland, the other so working around water, but in g in in engineering, and I actually didn't have any qualms about like their chosen paths or their chosen courses in life, which I think I find even more surprising now. I think the story for me is questionable in some spots, but overall, not bad. Well, I'm glad that you felt that way.

SPEAKER_05 17:03

Yeah, I'm not harping on the details here, and I don't think they go too far into it. They do just enough to like create some nostalgia, I feel like. You know what they didn't create?

SPEAKER_07 17:13

A scary shark. What? This is about the least scary a shark has ever been in all of time.

SPEAKER_02 17:21

I don't know about that. You think that shark wasn't scary coming into the tunnel and all that?

SPEAKER_06 17:25

The the slow motion shark. Sharks in slow motion are so chill, bro.

SPEAKER_05 17:30

Yes, in 3D also in the 80s.

SPEAKER_07 17:32

The shark didn't even do anything in 3D. He was 2D the whole time. It was the blowtorch and stuff that was 3D in the hand. In the hand. And I think at one point, like a shoe or something.

SPEAKER_05 17:43

I would agree with you, Ryan, but I do have to admit this movie does what the first one does pretty well, which is create that, you know, atmosphere where it is, you know, when someone's diving, is there someone behind me? Is there why aren't they turning around? There's something gonna be behind them. Like I like the mood that it brings.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

I think it did it kind of backwards. I think in when you're watching Jaws 1 and you're like these kids are playing or people are out swimming or whatever, like you're kind of like, oh gosh, like the the shark could be there and it could hurt them, and they don't even know it's so horrifying. And by the time we get to Jaws 3D, like somebody's like, I'm gonna go take a bath. You're like, uh, I bet the shark's gonna be in there too. Like, all right, go ahead and just show us who's next. It's kind of ridiculous at this point.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

See, I don't know. I felt like there was a lot of tension with the shark. It didn't look the scariest it's ever looked, right? Like, aesthetically not great, especially when you get some of the kills that are just like really close-up flashes more than anything. But overall, I think the tension with there's a shark in a confined location in a park, and then the points where we get the strength of the shark with all the impact in like some of you know one of the best scenes in this movie is like the tunnel scene. I think it's great because it creates enough tension to keep me along for the ride. Whereas Jaws 2 was mostly fucking boring. So not scary, but tense.

SPEAKER_07 19:03

I mean, Jaws 2 was super boring, but this is not not boring because Jaws 2 was super boring. You know what I mean? Like, we'll get to it. He I just wasn't I wasn't afraid of the shark. So this is kind of a tough one because it's Jaws. We've seen Jaws. Is this movie original?

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Well, I think they added more to it though than just like, hey, there's a big shark at a different beach. I think the setting is what makes it feel original. I think the premise of this like underwater tube where you could see sharks, I think like how it's there and and and why they can't get rid of it kind of makes it its own thing in a way. But I think as a Jaws movie, like, hey, this big old shark that likes to eat people, not super original.

SPEAKER_05 19:44

I mean, I'd say I've seen a lot of shark movies because they are my favorite. And you have the trope of okay, there's something that happens in the middle of the sea and it's stuck. That one's overplayed. I haven't seen something like this before. I'm sure there's probably one or two short shark Nados that are filmed like this, but even those, I don't think it builds attention. It's more funny than anything. So I don't know. To me, this is original.

SPEAKER_02 20:10

This absolutely is original. This is Jaws, but wait, there's more in so many different ways. This is a great approach to a shark movie. I'm not mad at it at all. But wait, there's more. It's another dimension.

SPEAKER_07 20:24

The other dimension is terror. I'm like 50-50 on the originality for this one. I feel like it gets some, but it's also a shark movie, so it's kind of the same chase that you normally get, you know? So I'm not mad at it. I'm not giving it none, but I'm not so sure.

SPEAKER_00 20:38

So the the end of the movie here, I think fits the rest of the movie. And that's honestly a major point. If if the ending makes sense considering what led to that point, it doesn't like severely just like trail off or drop off, then you've done a good job. Um, I think we get closure. I think we get we kind of go out with a bang, and for a Jaws movie, that's the way to go out. So I'm not mad at the ending whatsoever.

SPEAKER_07 21:01

I think what happens in the end of this movie is exactly what you said. It's it's it works. It's it's maybe it's like a good, happy ending. And then we get the worst visual on screen that I have ever seen in anything ever. And I was once not a graphic designer, but wanted to be and photoshopped things, okay? The end of this movie is is like the worst intentional Photoshop job you've ever seen in your whole life. And that can't go, it can't be understated how bad the last thing on screen in this movie is. It's horrendous. It's the scariest part.

SPEAKER_05 21:36

I thought the ending, like you said, was perfect for this movie, perfect for this franchise. But my favorite part was all the lead up to that was so there was so much tension built up and action in that last third of the movie that I thoroughly enjoyed. And I love that it ended the way it did, because I was I was on the edge of my seat, to say the least.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Yeah, I'm okay with the ending. It's one that plays out and it's very straightforward. Straightforward. It's one that is it doesn't leave a lot of ambiguity to things. It does give, I think, a sense of finality and closure, but also I think watching it now with this experience is thinking, yeah, that's what you fucking get for running a park like Sea World. And I'm okay with that, right? Like it's satisfying in a way that doesn't immediately feel obvious as well. I am curious if Ryan, how horrified you were by the last visual in this movie is enough to tank the entertainment that you felt throughout it, but we'll get there to our ratings in just a bit. Before we actually rate this movie, Alexis, how many people died? We had a total of six deaths in this movie. And what about the Animal Report?

SPEAKER_07 22:38

Yeah, it's it's a Jaws movie. It's not great. Paris would be super bummed. You know how he feels about sharks, but it's not the worst thing we've ever seen.

SPEAKER_02 22:46

Well, let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. Jaws 3D from 1983. Is it a hacker or a slash?

SPEAKER_05 22:51

You know, going into this movie, I really thought I was going to hate it because of the visuals. I was like, they were so distracting the first time I watched it, and the most memorable part of the first time I watched this. With that said though, I have to admit watching this the second time, I wasn't as focused because I just it didn't bother me. It was just, I knew what to expect. I knew that that was gonna be a part of this movie, so I just left it in the back of my brain. But I really love the characters in this movie. Catherine is great to me. All these people felt like they were like kind of summer campy, which I liked. I love anything underwater. So I love Jaws. Something about this movie is like homey, but I don't know how to describe it. I think because I've seen these as a kid, they're terrifying. I don't think this movie is half bad. I think the setting is also what makes it too. Like this amusement park sort of element I love. So I'm gonna give this a slash.

SPEAKER_00 23:48

Jaws 3 isn't a word ridiculous. The premise of the movie, the titular shark itself, and especially the effects that you mentioned, Alexis, are just downright silly. If it were made today, we would be screaming that it's even considered in the same universe as the original masterpiece. But there's something strange that happens as you watch. It's a silly, enjoyable time. If you can accept it for what it is, it's about as believable as something like the Meg, but that's okay. It's pure B movie material that is such a joke that if you can loosen up, you'll actually have a good time. It should be a hack, but it's simply a slash for entertainment value.

SPEAKER_07 24:23

So this is a really tough one for me because as we have said, ad nauseum at this point, Jaws 2 is so boring that literally my favorite part of it was a hot chick water skiing for 10 minutes. And this movie also has water skiing. Less hot because there's 15 people involved, but I don't know. It's it's a weird one. I really liked the story. The characters were not nonsensical, which I kind of knew here in the 80s, okay? It's rare that we get that. And this, like, obviously, it was like a little bit of chaos for like where they are and what's happening, but I don't feel like the whole movie was chaos. I don't feel like the movie was crazy. I just feel like certain things, like the whole bit about it being underwater, that was a little off, like that was a little far-fetched, but you know, it's Jaws. I hate the visual of the shark so much, like from the depths of my soul. And I mean, at some point there's a shark that's just like a sculpture that they're pushing through water. And I I just I don't know. It is so hard for me. The visuals of this are so rough. The special effects are so bad. It it's like hard to even conceive how bad these really are until you see them. You couldn't have ever warned me about this. I wasn't prepared. I think I have to hack this movie for balance, but it's a good time. But like, I can't I can't tell somebody to watch this movie with these dolphins and sharks on screen. Like, these effects are just the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. I cannot, I cannot in good spirits slash this.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

Okay, look, when I we came here tonight, I thought for sure there would be several hacks among the table, and I didn't expect a single one of those hacks to be for me because this movie is just a good time. I was so bored by Jaws 2. Jaws 1 is iconic, but even then it's not something that speaks to my soul. It's it's it has a lasting impact on society and made people afraid of going into the water. I get it, it's great. But for my kind of shark movie, this is more in line with it, but I do like campy shark movies. I keep talking about a specific shark movie that I don't remember the name of, but it's one where there's like a gigantic flood or natural disaster, and there ends up being a shark swimming in a grocery store, and people are stuck on top of the aisles in the grocery store. That's the kind of shit that I like because sharks are fucking scary, bro. The last thing you want is them to not be in their natural habitat far away from you. So on the sheer premise of that alone, and the fact that this movie takes a lot of swings, and you know what? It doesn't hit home runs, it doesn't even hit triples, I would say, but it does get infield singles. It gets on base, it gets a job done. It's totally fine. It's a slash. That baseball player is getting fired. That's not a slash. No, because it moves it along. It's good. He's in the minors, he's not in the majors. It's okay. Okay, hold on a second. Baseball is a team sport, and not everybody can go swinging for the fences. That's why the Phillies suck right now. That's why this movie sucks. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

I do respect it though, because imagine if you had a player that like never really hit a home run, but every time they stepped up to the plate, like the crowd went wild and cheered for them because they were just like really entertaining. It's kind of like that.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

I guess. With that, Jaws 3D from 1983 has earned three slashes and one balance hack. Now you can find this movie available to stream online. Go check it out. Then join us in the second half so we can see just how terrible these effects are for Ryan. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_07 28:22

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SPEAKER_02 29:18

Welcome back, folks. You're now entering the spoiler zone for Jaws 3D, which has earned three slashes and one hack. Now we have a lot to get to here, but before we get into the specifics of our ratings, we have the matter of gore to attend to. Alexis, what's the gore score for this movie?

SPEAKER_05 29:32

Or lack thereof. Because this movie, overall, a low gore score for sure. When the hand came out at me, you got floating arms. Uh it was just a little much. It was a little extra. I mean, I think the only thing I could say that was gory in this movie was seeing uh Shelby's decaying body. Very true. That's pretty much it.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Yeah, this movie was definite fish gore.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

Because the head of the fish is floating. Okay. But my thing is, like, I don't was the first jaws bloody.

SPEAKER_00 30:00

Yeah, there's literally a spot. Remember the big scene that I love when I talk about all the time where they're sitting on the beach and then like kiddie, like there's like a volcano of blood.

SPEAKER_05 30:07

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 30:08

See, I would I think that's what this movie was lacking because the terror wasn't from necessarily we talked about it already, the shark per se. That was not scary. And it was the tension, but you can't have gore at SeaWorld, pretty much is what they're saying.

SPEAKER_07 30:21

We only got like the one bit of blood, really, aside from like the end. But I feel like there were so many other times where I was like, just hide your lack of an actual shark biting a person with like some bloody water. Like they there was a lot of opportunity for bloody water that we missed here.

SPEAKER_05 30:36

So there are six deaths. We can all pick one for sure. So I'd love to know if it wasn't off-screen, what would be your favorite on-screen death?

SPEAKER_07 30:43

Well, my favorite death is Shelby Overman, just because he was the hunk and we saw him for one second and then he died. Because that basically everything happens off-screen here. There, I mean, I don't know. There's really only like one kill, you know. So I'm going Shelby because he was tan and muscular. Why not?

SPEAKER_05 31:00

Yeah, his was good. I like the stalking in that. Yeah. It's true to the original where it's, you know, dun dun dun dun dun dun. You're like, oh my gosh, something's gonna happen. We're setting this movie straight.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Yeah, no, I would absolutely agree that Shelby's death is one of the more impactful ones, especially when you see the guilt creeping in from his lady when she's like thinking he's just out in the town, he's drunk somewhere. Everybody's just tearing this guy down because of his past habits, and then you had the slow realization, oh, he's dead. And they have yet to learn this. And when they finally do, ooh, was that nasty?

SPEAKER_00 31:31

Yeah, that had to feel like crap. And I love that scene where she's crapping all over him, and then you know, they're like, Well, I'll could be dead or whatever with a shark and stuff, and it's just like, oh, go find him just in case. I miss him actually, just gotcha. I I, however, I needed to pick Fitz Royce.

SPEAKER_07 31:46

Yeah, I mean, someone had to. I figured that would be everyone's favorite.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Yeah, I assumed as much because it's epic, right? The guy's like a general douche and has to go out in such a meaningless way, like he's trying to help with the plan, and then the slowest moving shark on earth basically just opens its mouth and then he's dead. It's like I would swallow you whole, gone.

SPEAKER_07 32:10

Sharks who famously bite anything just to see if it's edible. Yeah. Like, I'll take you whole. And then in the meantime, while you're still in my mouth, I will eat another person, but you'll stay on my tongue. What?

SPEAKER_00 32:23

My favorite part of that though was that we got to see like the inside out view. That point of view, I think, was really cool because normally it's just like, oh, they're swallowed up, but they're all gone now, and maybe we'll get a floating hand in 3D or something. And it's like, no, no, we're going in there with Fitzroyce, and we're gonna like look out and see the fact that he can't fight for his life. He's just he's just in the tum-tum right now. Um, and then we get to see like there's a body still there later. He's he's not able to fight anymore at this point, but I don't know. I just like loved that whole thing, the fact that like we got to see the into the jaws of the shark.

SPEAKER_07 32:56

It was really nice for like as much as we are talking as much as I'm planning to talk trash about the effects. There were a lot of different bits of shark that you get in this, and that's one of them. Like we get an inside out view, you know. Like, that took a whole different set of engineering.

SPEAKER_05 33:09

So I'll give those props. I do love that. I actually have that as my favorite death and as my favorite visual. But I do like that view. So it's interesting because in all four Jaws movies, there is a reference made in each of the films to how the shark is actually gonna die. So it's funny because in this movie, an argument ensued about Fitzroyce actually using grenades. So that was pretty interesting. Also, this is the only Jaws movie in which the shark's death occurs in the deep and not on the ocean surface.

SPEAKER_00 33:37

I feel like that would be the best place to kill a shark, is in the water. Because if it's at the surface, like you're gonna get shark cuts on you. It's gonna be kind of gross.

SPEAKER_05 33:45

Make sure it's dead, because you know in Jaws, you never know if it's dead.

SPEAKER_07 33:48

What makes you think going to the shark's home in the deep ocean is a good place to go haunt one?

SPEAKER_00 33:56

Like, if you're looking for a payback, you gotta go to where it lives. Okay. You can't let it just come to you. You gotta go into the water, hang out with a bit, you know, and get that sweet, sweet revenge.

SPEAKER_05 34:06

So I know he talked about Fitzroyce, and we talked about the visual of him in the mouth, and I did mention that is my favorite visual, but I will pick a different one because I realize that that's probably the only visual that was good in this movie. But I do like the look of this submersible when it's underwater. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's watching Titanic and watching these weird other movies. Having like something cool like that and look around, I think is pretty neat. Other than that, I really can't talk about the visuals in this movie.

SPEAKER_02 34:37

Man, y'all are really dogging this movie. There's plenty to like, even though a lot of the 3D does look hokey for sure. I know we're never gonna get past the uh central hub, right? In the view from that, when you see the shark just slowly sliding to the left, getting a slightly, slightly bigger. I get it, right? But the fucking tunnel looks cool. I I I don't understand what the hate is here, and I loved, especially in the moments where you see you're in the tunnel and you see Shelby's body. You start to see these dead bodies creep up. I love the views there.

SPEAKER_05 35:09

The only thing I remember from watching this the first time, or the watch I had a few years ago, was that scene where the shark was coming in, and I was like, what am I watching? How do they do this? Because I can figure this shit out. Like it seems easy, it seems so fake, and that's what I remember about this movie is that scene.

SPEAKER_07 35:27

Yeah, it was really rough. Listen, Chris, the views from the tunnel, super cool. Or I I guess views of the tunnel, super cool. Not taking that away from anything. Honestly, for this movie and how bad some of the effects are, we get a lot of like good underwater shots. You know, everything that we saw through the control room TV screens was horrific. So much so they had to tell us what was happening because we couldn't tell what was going on. But I think I'm gonna have to give obviously my favorite visual to uh nine people in a pyramid on two water skis. Like, what do you mean? The fact that it even ever happened, much less happened on film, remarkable. Okay. It's not even the water skiing about it that's cool. It's just the fact that all these people stand on each other's shoulders. And you know, I just feel like people don't do stuff like that anymore these days, and that's what's wrong with us.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Uh, my favorite visual element, Leah Thompson, just saying, but I mean it could be that.

SPEAKER_07 36:21

It could definitely be that.

SPEAKER_00 36:22

I mean, like if it's for a breakout role, not a bad job here. That's you know, the the the little game that they played in the bar, though I didn't quite understand. It was like who could push each other over. That was really strange.

SPEAKER_07 36:32

Flirting was weird in the 80s.

SPEAKER_00 36:33

I guess, I guess so. No, Leah Thompson, great visual, but um it's it's tough with this one because we're rating the effects, I think, based on 2022 technology.

SPEAKER_04 36:42

No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Watch Jaws, the original. Yeah, but way better.

SPEAKER_00 36:47

No, the shark looks horrible in this one, and the fact that the shark backs up was very impressive. I don't know how that shark was able to like swim backwards through the water, but I'm down for it. I mean, whatever.

SPEAKER_07 36:57

Is that what was impressive? Or was it by the slow flapping of his tail he was able to bend steel and break out and open a door just from a little side to side?

SPEAKER_00 37:09

So this is a 35-foot shark. So this is somewhere what is that close to 10,000 pounds worth of uh worth of shark right there? That's a really beefy shark. That's all I'm gonna assume.

SPEAKER_07 37:20

He didn't touch the gate, he just waving his tail back and forth.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

If I'm 10,000 pounds and I wave my tail, something's gonna break. That's all I know.

SPEAKER_07 37:29

I don't think it's gonna be steel.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

Okay, so visu visually though, I think there's a lot that we can just really dislike, but generally the look of the movie I found to be completely fine. I didn't think there's nothing that like super stands out to me as like, oh my gosh, like I can't believe they achieved that. Like, wow, that looks really amazing. But I don't think it looks so horrible. The parts that I think looked the worst was when we were outside the tunnels looking like at the people inside of them, but inside the tunnel system and inside the control room, I actually really like they have a computer in the control room that was like really popular in other Hollywood movies because it looks super futuristic. So like I like that. I'm down for it. Actually, the shots where we see the team like remotely talking to our divers and they've got like the headpiece on and they're watching on the camera. Like, don't look at the screen, like who cares? It's not about that. Um, but yeah, I actually really liked from for somebody who would never go into one of those tube-like things, like I actually really liked what we got inside because, like you said, Ryan, it reminds me of Sphere, and I'm down for that kind of down for that kind of vibe. But yeah, if you're looking like far away at the tubes and there's humans like superimposed on them, that looked horrible.

SPEAKER_07 38:34

I just want to complain about something else for a moment. In this control room, full of either it's like an alien control room, it's just like walls of computers, right? There's a hatch that you can just dive straight out of, which doesn't seem to make much sense. And like, you know, maybe things are a little more water resistant now, but at this point, I'm sure it was just like exposed wires everywhere, okay? And they come out of the water in their whole scuba suits, everything's gonna be soaking wet. I mean, to be fair, everything then was soaking wet right after that. But I was like, we're not diving out of the control room. That's not the point of a control room, and why is the control room underwater? Why is it there? Have you not seen Deep Blue Sea? The whole thing is under I understand, but it's supposed to be. Why would the control room of the whole park be underwater? Okay, it's nonsense.

SPEAKER_00 39:22

Well, you know, it's it's it's just dog fooding, you know, eating your own dog food, right? So if you're gonna put people under the water and tubes, then you better be ready to be under the water in tubes. That's really what it's what it's about. Sure, sure.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

So look, obviously the action that we get in the tunnel with the compartments flooding, with people panicking, with the shark really just ramming up against it and uh damaging the in the watertight integrity of the tunnel was one of the best scenes in the movie. But I think in terms of the actual story, my favorite scene comes with the realization that this shark is now dead, but there's still a lot of movie left. And there's another shark. I absolutely love that. People get freaked out and spooked about this 10-foot shark, and you see, okay, well, this shark isn't that threatening. You see how dangerous it could be, how people are obviously concerned about it, and even that moment where it had been kind of like dazed or knocked out from the tranquilizer, and that moment it wakes up in that little pool and they're just like, oh shake, get out of here. Do you even see how dangerous a 10-foot shark is? And then when you realize there's a mother, there's something much bigger out there that is now inside the park. What a great moment for this story.

SPEAKER_07 40:35

I agree. I feel like it was uh bit of an abrupt moment when all of a sudden it was just like and it's dead.

SPEAKER_05 40:44

Like, okay. Yeah, and anticlimactic, pretty much just floating in the water, right?

SPEAKER_07 40:49

And it was just a just a solid, sculpted, probably styrofoam shark that they're just pushing and it flips over slowly. Anyway, I think it was an interesting take. I really wish I hadn't I so I was trying to figure out if we were doing Jaws 3D or Jaws the Revenge. So unfortunately, I read the description, so I knew there was a mama coming to look for her baby. So it kind of ruined it for me, but I I can generally agree. I think that was interesting. I think my favorite scene are all the scenes that have the dolphins in them because they're adorable and I love them. I think it was really cool to see these actors interacting with the animals that way because it was like, how are they doing this? How did they get there? What did they have to learn? I don't know. I like to think about stuff like that. Like they got to shoot with dolphins. That's so cool.

SPEAKER_05 41:39

Yeah, I was definitely had that on my favorites. It's definitely anytime Catherine's interacting with the animals, and it just seemed so real and there was no acting involved that I was like, interesting, how much training did she get? Also, these animals can be actually dangerous. Like, dolphins aren't as cute as people think they are. So I was like, at what point did she accidentally get bitten or something went wrong while filming this? But I have no clue. I'd love to find out. But it was just mesmerizing to me seeing those moments where I was like, oh, interesting. She is not just an actor, but she is the actor and it's and it's working with the animals as well.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

My favorite scene actually goes back to what Chris was talking about, and that's when we're trying to do the repairs after the thing has already been damaged. And so we see them like trying to do that underwater welding, which is mind-blowing. That fact that we can do underwater welding. Don't know how that works, but I love it.

SPEAKER_07 42:32

Insane.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

Even though it seems it's kind of hokey that whole setup, but I think it's a great setup for a horror movie in which we have this habitat we have to repair, and then there's a there's a creature that could attack it, whether it's a giant shark, an alligator, or an alien. There's always like in that kind of a setup, there's always that moment where something goes wrong and you have to fix it and you're suddenly at risk. And I think they did a good job there with them like immediately getting to work of like, how do we patch this up? How do we get those people out of there? And they're doing it and they're welding it. And then, of course, mommy shark do do do do do do breaks free and it is now you're you're like you're majorly at risk. I think it's unfortunate that she didn't get to eat anybody in that moment. That would have been even better for me, is if one of the welders just got gobbled up right away. That would have been so perfect. But you know, that's we don't live in an ideal world.

SPEAKER_07 43:17

You know what was really nice about that is that they didn't overdo the chaos of the people in the tunnel. Because that could have easily been like two long like people screaming and running around, you know? And it was very simple. You're in here, we only got a little bit of oxygen, can y'all chill out? And then we only have a little bit of oxygen, it's coming back, the water's going down, let's go.

SPEAKER_05 43:37

But don't run, please. I would love for you to have been the uh chick that was down there telling everyone, hey, chill out right now.

SPEAKER_07 43:45

I literally been like, Yeah, your screaming is literally gonna kill us. Could you not? Grandma, sit down.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

I think also in an audio world though, some of those people would have been eaten by the shark. Right? Like, come on, we get the flooding and everything and it's and it's happening.

SPEAKER_07 43:58

Sharks eat people.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

They taste and they're like, ugh.

SPEAKER_07 44:01

I'm pretty sure great whites will famously eat you. I here's here's the thing. I agree with you because I felt like I felt like it was the perfect time for them to start getting out and then part of them get stuck and eaten. Yeah, carnage. We need a yeah, we need a little bit of carnage. When it's the third installment of a movie, I need a padded body count, okay? I need more people, I need more blood, I need more death.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

I'm not too upset that we didn't lose more people in this movie, and I think that's part in part because of how much I liked the characters, with the exception of one that I absolutely disliked, and he ended up dying anyway, so we're cool. I really enjoyed the fact that we have the brothers coming back, and we have a brother who's traumatized from his previous experiences, and it's even better when you watch Jaws 4 or Jaws the Revenge. And yeah, it's a retcon, so it's as if this movie didn't happen, but it's one of those that this movie creates a world where there aren't many people to just hate based on bad performance alone or bad writing alone. You know what I mean? The the characters that we're supposed to dislike, we obviously have a bad taste for, but I, you know, I absolutely love our central characters, our leading characters, and it actually made me root for them even more.

SPEAKER_07 45:13

Agreed. Philip just fit that spot that we needed. Like I said, most of these characters were not the like insufferable 80s characters. He was, but I just feel like that's his thing.

SPEAKER_05 45:23

Chris, I also really like the interactions between the Brody brothers. To me, it seems so genuine, even when they're in the bar. Like I love that bar scene where you just see the personalities, and so is this relationship that Mike and Catherine have. Like that seems genuine too. They're joking around. I'm like, this is making my heart very filled with joy. Like, I'm not annoyed by any of these characters. I think they played the part perfectly. Sherry, though, is my favorite. That was Shelby Overman's girlfriend. When she just brought the clothes to his work and was like, here, I haven't seen him, take his clothes. He like he's a piece of shit. I was like, I like that. Just like little nuances of each of the characters that I thought fit them perfectly and I really enjoyed.

unknown 46:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 46:08

I will say Dennis Quaid, though, Michael Brody, actually did not hate it at all. I'm actually kind of a Dennis Quaid fan. Most, I think Dennis Quaid performances I think are pretty enjoyable.

SPEAKER_07 46:18

So I have to say a best part. And I actually think I have a pretty complimentary one, and it is the ending right before the last dolphins. Everything before that last bit of dolphin on the screen. The f the the fake bit of dolphin on the screen. The explosion, you know, I feel like it's jaws, you have to have a shark explode. That's just kind of the agreement. But it wasn't like a waterfall, at least it did what it needed to do. And then honestly, when they come up and they like hug and find the dolphins, for sure I thought one of the dolphins was gone. Obviously, all I cared about in this movie were the dolphins. And then they, you know, it was it was just such a little heartfelt moment when the other one comes up and they do a little bit of jumping around them and they, you know, a little hug and everything. It was adorable. It was an adorable ending. And if it wasn't for the horrific editing at the end, the the the effects at the end, it would have been a great ending. Um, everything up until that point, so good. Definitely my best part of this movie.

SPEAKER_05 47:17

I don't mind saying a worse because the visuals were the worst, but I've harped on that a little too much. So I'm just curious on how you do have like a submersible, but you need some sort of apparatus around your face. Like, I don't know that why that bothered me so much, and I don't know if that was the technology that they had, which I know they didn't. I thought they had better stuff. Like, I'm like, why can't you sit in something and don't need a scuba gear on? That's why I was confused.

SPEAKER_00 47:43

Because that's a submarine.

SPEAKER_07 47:45

Well, I think it's because they knew they were gonna get out. I think this is like a particular type of thing that gets you to where you're going to get out in your scuba gear. Because you wouldn't want to like in a like in a submarine, I don't think you're like putting on a tank. It's just like a vehicle.

SPEAKER_02 48:00

Yeah. And it's also they are opening the submersible and water is getting into it, so they still need the apparatus to be able to breathe in the submersible when they're going up.

SPEAKER_05 48:09

I think that's just what tripped me out and really was like one thing that I had to note about the movie.

SPEAKER_00 48:15

It did bother me how they ditched it though. Like as soon as the okay, there's a shark in the water, and they just like I'm like, that thing's faster than you. Get back in it and and take it up to the water. You know, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_07 48:25

Was it faster?

SPEAKER_00 48:26

It was a little bit questionable.

SPEAKER_07 48:29

I'm so sorry to derail the best part, worst part. I just need to talk about my my actual favorite thing in this movie, which is the jet ski that they treat like a bird scooter. Since you started talking about the submarine, I almost forgot about it. It wasn't the water skiers. No, no, no, no, no. Literally the way this man walks down a dock and then just picks up the handles and just skirts off. And then when he gets to the other one, he just literally runs into the dock, drops it, keeps walking.

SPEAKER_05 48:56

He's like, I got stuff to do. See, they had that technology, but they didn't have the other technology to do that.

SPEAKER_07 49:01

No, but listen, jet skis in the 80s, you got my heart. Uh give it to me. Jet skis now are like boats, basically. This is like a literal scooter on water. Let me get the app out. I'll scan the QR code.

SPEAKER_00 49:14

I do love, I do love that scene where he beached it though. That was great. He was like, I don't even care about it. I'm not even gonna look back at it, just f it. I'm on the move. That's the kind of speed you need. But picking a worst part, I feel like, is a bit it's a bit unfair because we've done our our due diligence here in crapping love of this movie. But I'm gonna take it easy on the actual effects and everything. I want to say the worst part of the movie is showing me too much shark because I think that's why I love Jaws 1 the most. And that's probably we could talk about Jaws 2 again if we really wanted to, but there's a whole episode on it. So I think for Jaws 3, you've you've given us a 35-foot shark. That's massive, that's insane, first of all. That would be so huge to see in the water. I don't need to see it from head to tail. I don't need all of it. I need the really scary glimpses with scale. And I so I need to know how big a human human is in comparison to it, and I need to see it just like you know, show me the gills, show me a fin, show me like the tip of the mouth or whatever, show me the mouth when it's opening up, like we get in in every shark movie. But I don't need to see it the entire size of it, because that's when I think when we lose some of the realism is when we see this gigantic prop that they've made. Like, so yeah, give me give me a glimpse of it here and there, give me like brush it up against somebody as they realize you know that there's this massive creature behind them or something. But just show me that little bit too much, actually it was a lot of bit too much, really kind of takes you out of it. I in in my opinion. I I know some people really like that and they they want to see the whole thing, but I like I like that alienness of it where it's just like we only get a glimpse when we see a bit of little bit, it's scarier because of that.

SPEAKER_07 50:47

Agreed. And for what it's worth, the shark looked great when it was opening and closing its mouth. Like that, I'd say that's the hardest part of what they needed to do with the shark. And he was scary at that point, but we saw like way too much, like I could tell you how many teeth he had. Too many.

SPEAKER_02 51:02

Yeah, I actually love one of the moments when we see the shark in small little bits, and that's during Shelby's death. But there's a really cool moment where it's flashing through a couple quick cuts, and one of the cuts that we get is a view from inside the shark looking out, and you see the teeth and the blood and the body part, and it's just intense. And I thought doing it in that dosage would have been fantastic for the whole movie. But I think my worst part is going to go to a moment that I've already alluded to a bit, but it's Fitzroyce being a jackass, and it's him walking up to her and saying, I'm looking for someone in authority. Fuck the misogyny. I'm I'm not here for it. It's something that, like, um, I think I don't know, he's he's trying to be that kind of flirt who disparages a woman to try to charm her. Just not a fan. I could honestly, I know that he's uh important to moving the plot forward, but I could do without Fitzroy's personally. Okay, but she handled our business. She absolutely did, but I also would just prefer to not have him.

SPEAKER_07 52:03

Yeah, sometimes you need to show that women can stand up to trash men like this, you know?

SPEAKER_02 52:07

I'd rather she just not to deal with trash men.

SPEAKER_06 52:09

That's my utopia. She had such a good comeback though. She's just like, yeah, I'm the head biologist.

SPEAKER_02 52:17

I will say though that as much as I hated Fitzroyce, he is not enough to keep me from ever watching this again. I think it'll be a while before I do, but I would absolutely watch this on that on a nice summer, summer evening.

SPEAKER_07 52:29

I can really see myself watching this at Alexis' family vacation. It's like every time she describes it, I'm like, yeah, that's a great place to watch Jaws. I don't know when or why else I would ever watch it, but uh maybe if I ever go on vacation with your family. You can come this uh next summer.

SPEAKER_05 52:45

Yeah, I was gonna say we go every other year now.

SPEAKER_06 52:47

Sounds great. I'm on board.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

Oddly enough, I had the exact same thought in my head before you said that. I was like, if I were to be part of a of a group that like rented a beach house, like we know those like 12-bedroom beach houses. Yeah, you need nothing but horrifying shark movies on screen so that nobody goes in the water and they also went in the pool instead.

SPEAKER_05 53:03

So you're also coming on vacation next year?

SPEAKER_00 53:06

Apparently. That's yeah, we're taking us all. We can all share the king bed.

SPEAKER_05 53:10

That sounds like a Lexus. I would definitely watch this again, but it's gotta be some time removed before I do.

SPEAKER_02 53:17

Okay, well, if we all have a little bit of time before we explore this again, let's see if Mac can tie this over with some fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_00 53:24

Number one, the shark in this film is 35 feet long, 10 feet longer than the previous Shaw sharks. The largest great white shark on record is right around 30 feet long.

SPEAKER_05 53:32

I'm not sure what part you lied about, but uh this all kind of sounds correct. Fact. In that case, I'll go fiction.

SPEAKER_00 53:39

It is a fiction. So they've been measured to be right around 20 feet. 30 feet is like, you know, tails, but tails, but nothing's been verified for that. So um, but the first part is is correct. The the shark in this film is 35 feet long, and the previous sharks were like 25 feet long, which is again a massive shark considering the biggest ones we've actually proved are only 20.

SPEAKER_05 54:01

Are you saying those ones you see in Shark Week that are jumping in the air 20 feet, only 20 feet long?

SPEAKER_00 54:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 54:06

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 54:07

Or less.

SPEAKER_06 54:08

Probably less. Probably like 10. 10 is a lot of feet. You're 5'2, it's very tall. It's two of me and fat, huge, round. Or even four of you.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Number two. In our Jaws 2 episode, we discussed that Roy Scheider was part of that film to fulfill contract obligations since he backed out of the deer hunter. Supposedly, he agreed to be in the film Blue Thunder to make sure he was totally unavailable for Jaws 3D.

SPEAKER_05 54:35

None of that rings any bells.

SPEAKER_06 54:37

Fact.

SPEAKER_07 54:38

Uh I feel like I'll go fact to contractual obligations seem scary.

SPEAKER_00 54:43

This one is a fact. So the first part was actually a factor fiction from our Jaws 2 episode, right? Um, but yeah, this is all supposedly, we can't prove it, but uh he was actually quoted in one biography as saying um they knew better than to even ask.

SPEAKER_07 54:57

So nice, Mac a line to you twice. Max like, factor fiction for Jaws 3D? Let me pull up Jaws 2 first. I'll just add to it.

SPEAKER_00 55:07

That that's not exactly what happened. Number three, Dennis Quaid stated in a later interview that he spent most of the filming drunk and baked and would splash his face with cold water to feel awake before shots.

SPEAKER_07 55:17

Ooh, that's a great way to make it seem like you've been out in the sun. You know, that's a good way to pull off the Florida sun vibes. I'll go fact. I'm just gonna go fiction so I go opposite.

SPEAKER_00 55:26

This is a fiction, but he did say he was pretty much high on Coke every time he's on screen.

SPEAKER_07 55:30

Okay. Not surprised. That's an 80s thing. That's why I don't remember any of the other movies he's been in.

SPEAKER_00 55:37

Number four. Most scenes in this film were actually shot in SeaWorld, and it's the only Jaws film not to be filmed at Martha's Vineyard.

SPEAKER_07 55:44

First off, a lot of information for one question. I'm gonna say fiction. I feel like this was not SeaWorld. I feel like the first part's true and the second part's false. I'm gonna go fact.

SPEAKER_00 55:54

Interesting how you got there.

SPEAKER_07 55:56

That's the name of the game.

SPEAKER_00 55:57

This this one is indeed a fact. It's the only one of the four to not be filmed at Martha's Vineyard, not take place uh in Amity. But it's also true that most of the scenes here were actually shot in SeaWorld. And that is too insane to me.

SPEAKER_07 56:10

Wow. Well, I feel like they would have to be because how many places had animals trained like this at this time? You know what I mean? Well, also, we haven't really addressed enough. How did they legally make this and call it SeaWorld? It feels illegal. I can't believe they let them film it there.

SPEAKER_00 56:23

I think SeaWorld is illegal, honestly, but that has been fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_02 56:27

I just want to point out, and I'll drop I'll drop a link in the show notes to this. There is an article that is clearly written by AI that I sent to Mac earlier and I send a screenshot to Ryan. Let me read you an excerpt. Where was Jaws 3 filmed? People are dying out there to know the shooting place of Jaws 3. Jaws 3 is one of the popular films of the era. Jaws 3 is an 80s movie. It was released in 1983. But even today, people are crazy for Jaws 3. It is full of adventure and thrillers. It is a sequel movie to Jaws 2. Jaws 3 is a horror film. Yes, it is a horror movie and kind of adventurous also. Jaws 3D has many great shots. It has beautiful scenes, shots, and the background. People are more curious to know the location of the movie because of the water. Here's the best part. The movie has most of the shots with the water.

SPEAKER_06 57:17

It's so bad.

SPEAKER_02 57:19

It is the third installment of the Jaws franchise. Again. Jaws Franchise is an American horror film series that is based on a novel. Jaws Franchise was started in 1975. It is totally based on the sharks attacking people. It just it it goes on and on and on, and it's fucking hilarious.

SPEAKER_00 57:38

This is this is like one of those articles you see in like Facebook or somewhere else that you like, you're like, oh, the title seems semi-interesting because I'm scrolling and you tap on it and then you bring it up, and it's got nothing but like page after page of ads, and it takes you three years to finally get to the one sentence you needed to know.

SPEAKER_02 57:54

To be clear, our sponsor AI is higher quality AI than this bullshit. It's true. For sure.

SPEAKER_06 58:01

It gets compound sentences at least.

SPEAKER_02 58:04

Well, there you have it, folks. Jaws 3D has earned three slashes and one hack. Now we've had a lot to talk about here, but it doesn't end here by any means. We want to know what you think. Did you also hate the 3D? Or do you think this movie's pretty underrated? Let us know. You can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free in our Discord. Click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_00 58:23

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