240: The Craft (1996)

SPEAKER_04 0:04

I'ma be honest, I've been a little bit lesbian sometimes, and I've never been that close to my friend.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hackerslash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Now is the time, this is the hour. Ours is the magic, ours is the power. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. A total joke? A waste of time, or a slash. Totally killer pun intended. We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the gore lover Alexis. You like my head? The cowardly creeper Ryan. Who's Connie Francis? And nuestra amiga de los muertos, Vero. Relax, it's only magic. Now who's pathetic? This episode and the entirety of our 2022 spooky season is brought to you by our friends at Comstrips. Comstrips is helping us celebrate our 2022 theme of comfort horror, and this week's film is a comfort pic chosen by our patrons. The people have spoken and decided we're traveling back to the 90s to check out a witchy film with a cult following. The nominees for this month's patron voting were stacked with quality picks, but one film ran away with a majority vote by a wide margin. The winning 1996 film follows a newcomer to a Catholic prep school as she makes friends with a group of teenagers who dabble in the occult and conjure spells to thwart those who have wronged them. This week, after winning 50% of the overall patron vote, we're talking about the craft.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

This movie was nominated by our bomb patron, Amber. She says, The Craft is the first horror film that I remember being obsessed with as a kid. This movie is full of 90s teen horror nostalgia and is absolutely perfect for a spooky season. Plus, how can you go wrong with a movie that has Nev Campbell and Skeet Ulrich?

SPEAKER_00 1:54

Well, we'll see if we can go wrong, Amber, but for now, who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Every year. Watch and rewatch. Every single year? Every single year.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

You know, Vero, some might say that's a ritual.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

I yeah, I watch it every single year.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

I definitely don't watch it every year, but it's something I watch a lot, and I can't remember how many times I've watched it, but like Amber, this is something I remember watching as a kid. Maybe it's not an abuela movie, but it is very close to that time frame. But I haven't actually seen it probably in the last like five years.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

I don't know if anything is ever surprising at this point, but I have not seen The Craft. This is my first time.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

Ooh, okay. I've seen this movie before, but certainly not to the levels of frequency that Vero and Alexis have by any means. I saw this a few times in the 90s and then maybe a couple more times after, but I honestly say that there are very few things that even really stand out to me as things that I have like strong memories from in this movie. Like Ski Dolrich couldn't tell you that he was in this. I mean, I'm sure like somewhere in my mind I had cataloged that information, but this does not feel like Skeed Ulrich. So when I went into this, I was expecting it to feel pretty fresh, right? You know the general plot line, you know the sequence of events. I was excited to see this now as an adult with a different perspective and see what I could take away from this film. But what were you expecting going into this watch?

SPEAKER_04 3:20

I definitely had a lot of anticipation going into this one because I feel like it's just something that I hear a lot of people talk about, but kind of like on a low-key scale, right? It's not like it's like a, I don't know, blockbuster the craft, but like people that are into horror, especially girls that are into horror, usually have some interest in the craft. I feel like I've seen people dress up as them. So I had pretty high expectations for the movie, but also I know myself, and I know that this is like not really my vibe. So it was it was a tough one to go into.

SPEAKER_03 3:52

Okay, so this came out three days after my birthday in 1996, right? So I was already a trend follower at this time. So I think that because I was a trend follower, I remember this as being like, okay, we're going to Blockbuster, we're doing everything that which is funny that you said a Blockbuster movie. It definitely I physically went into a Blockbuster and got this movie.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 4:17

Oh, I remember the whole night when this actually was a thing. Like watching it with my friends, making sure that we were doing what they were doing. So light as a feather, stiff as a board, did the whole thing, all of them. I I feel like I I was a little witchy because of this movie.

SPEAKER_02 4:34

I love that. I wish I had the balls to do that because I definitely was like, I'm not gonna touch that kind of stuff when I was younger. Were you not the kind of girl to have a Ouija board? I wanted one so bad. I wanted one. Did you have one, Vera?

SPEAKER_03 4:48

Oh yeah. Well, see, here's the thing. I was raised like super Catholic. So I rebelled against everything that my parents had. So I didn't have one, but my best friend did that lived literally across the street. So I would walk across to her house. Uh like my parents wouldn't even give me Halloween costumes or anything. It was mostly just, you know, just me being cool. Sounds like Ryan's roommate.

SPEAKER_04 5:14

You know what's funny is I was definitely like not this kind of kid, but I feel like light as a feather, stiff as a board is something that I have done or like remember. Like it sounds familiar, but I know I wasn't doing no like rituals.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I see, I I wasn't doing any of that. We had a Ouija board that we had in our house, and it was all fun and games until something got a little bit spooky, and one of my sisters didn't feel great, and then we just got rid of it. But I would totally own a Ouija board. I'm not against the idea of it. And I will say that for all the expectations I had going into this movie, uh, more on myself, you know, for being open-minded and trying to look at things differently, I'll say that I was very entertained. I was amused. There was something in this movie that I was a little bit disappointed with, but I think what is really interesting is I was reminded of events and themes from other movies, but above all else, I ended up feeling very entertained.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Yeah, those expectations I had were like that it wasn't going to age well. But I know people watch this year after year. So I'm like, okay, clearly it ages at some point very well. But it while I watch this movie, I've never felt anything so nostalgic like I did watching it this time, and I'm sure it was the other times I've felt that way. So this to me is right up, you know, comfort horror for me. I can see why this feels comforting because while watching it, I just felt like it was a warm blanket you put on.

SPEAKER_03 6:43

Yeah, I think for me too, it's the guide of how to be an asshole as like a female. So it was really a guide to be an asshole for me. I think that um, yeah, I guess what I was like in middle school, maybe almost high school. So I realized that I could be sassy and I could be kind of a jerk. And if I used all like cool words and call people weirdos and shit, I'd be like, oh, look, I'm I'm kind of mean. So this was the guide to how to be an asshole for me. Um, that has made me such a great sarcastic person now, I think. So this is the beginning of it. It's arguably one of your best qualities. Thank you. That's what people say. It's not what you say, it's how you say it. Oh. Bitch, I say what I want to say. I say it the way I want to say it.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

Okay. I mean, now that you mentioned that, right? You think about like this movie's how to be an asshole. This really is just like the witchy origin story of Mean Girls. And I think I tend to not really be fond of movies that kind of just pit women against each other or like really just kind of like uh perpetuate like the stereotypes of like female cattiness and stuff like that. It's just not my vibe in movies. But Mean Girls was too funny to not love and appreciate. And I think this movie really did a number on making you feel things for characters, right? Like these people are are are really well developed in that you get to know them and you get to know their flaws, and you end up feeling so much compassion before you really even dive into understanding who is the quote unquote antagonist in this movie, right? And I think that's a really interesting take. I I do think though that I am very disappointed in a romance angle that we get in this movie. Like it starts off in a direction, it takes a turn, and you're like, yes, absolutely, girl, do it 100%. But then there are some things that are said that just make me think, like, why, why, why are we here? You can do better. You don't deserve this. Why are you sabotaging yourself this way?

SPEAKER_04 8:46

There's definitely a couple different sections of this movie that have different feelings. For me, you know, you mention mean girls in this movie, and mean girls do a very similar thing, which is make me feel like not a girl. I don't know why, because it's not like this is like a hyper girly movie, but I'm just not a girl's girl. I'm just not like it's it's it's just not what's in my heart. And when I watch stuff like this, it just makes me feel like, is this what other people's life is like?

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Like that's all I can feel. Okay, but you make a point, and I think that Paris is a girls girl, but you are not a girl's girl, and I'm not a girls girl. Yeah. And I don't know, I can't speak for Vero or Alexis, but I think I know I like I can understand that about you, Ryan. I think I just like did not have friends in school. So I'd never had to worry about shit like this. Like my friends were my older siblings, and they were too mature for bullshit like this, and I was too young to understand when they were probably immature enough for bullshit like this. So I had a good pass on all that.

SPEAKER_04 9:44

Yeah, I had men boys treat me like this in high school, like treat me like trash, but I didn't like I don't know. I mean, to be fair, it's not like they were particularly nice to each other anyway. I don't know, it's such a confusing thing because they're not like a girly friend group, but it's just something about it. It just makes me feel like, oh, okay, I'm not a girl.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

I think for me though, I realize that I don't think I'm a girls girl. I have more men uh friends, but I do have the same girl friends for like 20 plus years. So like once you're in there, you're really in there. And I think it's that like bond or the covet, you know what I mean? Like your girls are your girls. But I think the reality for me is this is what I wanted people to see me as, because I was like that weirdo kid that like started getting tattooed in high school, and like people were like, What is that weird girl doing? Plus, I had like a super thick Spanish accent because I moved here from Spain. So I think a lot of it I felt like this, and even though I didn't look as cool, I just like wore men's dickies instead of like cool like skirts. But I I felt like people looked at me and were like, that's a weirdo, you know, witchy person. So I think I really, really wanted to be them, I guess. I could see that.

SPEAKER_02 11:02

Chris, like you, I forgot that Skeet Ulrich was in this, and even as many times as I've seen this, I still forgot. It's just he's just one of those characters from the 90s that's just in all of these movies, but really two in particular. And yeah, I forgot and even was surprised while watching it this time that he's still in this movie.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

What a shock, honestly. You know, he just doesn't look like himself, and I think that's what bothers me the most. I imagine Skeed Old Rich as Billy, or I see him as Jughead's dad in Riverdale. I don't see him as literally anything else.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

I think that's where I sit on it too. Mostly Jughead's dad, though. His hot dad.

SPEAKER_04 11:47

I think what surprised me the most about this movie is the twists and turns that the characters go through. I feel Disney when I think of this movie, so I went in thinking we were just gonna get some pretty like mundane storylines, some characters that I didn't care about. And there's really some like big twists that happen here that maybe you might not be prepared for. I wasn't prepared for.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

It scared the shit out of me when I was a kid. So uh there's a lot of things in this movie that are terrifying. I I don't know if that lasts until now, but it definitely as a child, and I don't know when I say child, I don't mean like I was six. I don't know at what time frame I watched this movie, but it was fucking horrifying.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Now I I don't know that I ever found this scary in the slightest. I think watching it now, if you're someone who has a fear of creepy, crawly creatures, and there's nothing really jarring in this movie. There's nothing scary in this movie. I dare say this movie doesn't really even have any jump scares. This is, I wouldn't say wholesome, but it is a fairly manageable ride that's a really good starter pack horror movie for you to get your non-horror friends into.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

I think this movie for me allows you to be like, fuck yeah, that's cool. So I don't think it was a like a fright factor as much as a like let's go, that's awesome. And there's a lot of um obviously, you know, spooky things that happen, but if this honestly was something that you could do, some of these spells, it'd be killer. I would do them all the time. Every single time I get into a car, I would do some of these spells. I would just do everything that I could because they did some pretty fucking cool shit. Girl, did you not learn from what happened in the movie?

SPEAKER_00 13:33

They just lost a little bit of their control. Vero's out here saying, There's no fright factor, there's just the feminist factor.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Let's go. And I'm over here being like, snakes, shit in your bathroom, in your fucking toilet.

SPEAKER_04 13:45

Like terrifying. Y'all are both right. Like, this movie's not scary. I don't know about trying. I'm not trying on no spells. Okay, we're not doing that. I don't need to find out what's good. I'm I'm straight on that. But the two really horrific things are one, leaky roofs. That's really the horror in life. And two, cockroaches, please. I uh cockroaches and maggots. Actually, it's the maggots more than the cockroaches, probably. That stuff's disgusting. It doesn't make this movie scary, but ooh, was it a little rough? Because they spent some time on screen. Like those were paid actors, okay?

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Obviously, this movie deals with some things that are like the real horror, sure. Uh, this movie is, I think, a source of inspiration for so many things that came after it, right? I was talking earlier about mean girls and just that kind of vibe. Now, something else, though, that really got to me is that in retrospect, this movie, and hear me out, it's gonna sound fucking crazy. This feels, watching it now, like a little bit of Grease meets Twilight, meets hocus pocus, but that makes it unmistakably the craft. And while bullies are an age-old story, this feels like one of the definitive films on bullying.

SPEAKER_03 14:58

Man, I now I feel like my whole existence is like kind of lame if those that's the way you think about this movie. I think of myself as like super witchy, like, you know, don't mess with me. I thought this was more like a badass kind of movie.

SPEAKER_00 15:14

No, it absolutely is. But what I mean is like there are so many things in this movie that I see from other movies, right? So I couldn't help but like the opening of this movie reminds me of the opening of Twilight. Uh, there's a romance in this movie that feels very Danny and Sandy, but in a really toxic way. I actually don't like I I won't say that I dislike the original Grease, but I like Grease too because I think it's a it's a more feminist story than like the Grease Danny and Sandy moment. But it in no way impedes the quality of this film. Like I feel like this movie is such a perfect blend of so many things that we've seen uh and so many things that have come after it, but it feels definitive. It feels like it is like a a standard for most things.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

I'd appreciate that because I would say that this movie is pretty original when I think about it collectively as opposed to its parts. To me, it's original. Like I don't feel like I've seen something even now about witches. I mean, yeah, there's hocus pocus. I don't even know what other witch movies there are out there, but I'm sure they're out there, but none of them seem to have this sort of edge to it like this movie does.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

Yeah, I think this movie started. Obviously, they wanted to remake it, but I think this movie definitely started um the like female characters and like friendships and like, you know, kind of girl on girl bullying. Girl on girl. Yeah. But in like a, you know, if you mess with me, I'm gonna mess with you, which is really like what high school is, kind of, if you went to like a shitty high school, I guess. But I agree with that. No one has ever done something like this. And the reality is is that this started, you know, all of those like ABC, WB, I don't know, any channels anymore, but whatever. All of those like shows with witches and vampires and everything. Like, I feel like this is what started that.

SPEAKER_04 17:07

I could see that. And I think because I'm watching this so much later, it doesn't like stand out as feeling particularly original to me. And I think it is because I did grow up in the era of like every WB, CW show, all those things coming up that were all witchy.

SPEAKER_00 17:22

You know, I think regardless though, of of what this movie can remind us of, obviously, yes, it's iconic in its own right because of the influence that it's had on film after, but one of the best moments of this movie is its ending. I think it's something that gives you a lot of satisfaction. I think the the end message that you're left with is why this movie has persisted as long as it has.

SPEAKER_04 17:46

I gotta agree. I'm a big fan of the ending. It was a very, again, interesting turn that it took. And even like up to the very last scene is still like quite intense. So yeah, it's a pretty good ending.

SPEAKER_03 17:58

I guess I was like on the obviously on the wicked side, like on the bad side. So for me, the ending was like, oh man, if I act like this, I will actually be crazy, you know? So for me, I was like, fuck, I guess I can't be this way. It still did not make me an asshole, I guess, but still, I think I was in the wrong end of the ending of this movie. I think for me, I was like, dang, I guess I don't win if I'm this big of a jerk. Wow, a cautionary tale that had no impact on you. I know, but I'm not crazy, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

I appreciate this ending because it does have a value of like, okay, if you fuck around, this is what happens, but also like bullying in general, or the flip side of that and like what it happens when it's you know turned around. And I appreciate that. But I love how the movie just ends and you think it ends, and you think everything's done, and then it comes back with a second ending, and I think that's the twist kind of Ryan that you were talking about. And I and I love it. Uh, I think it helped me get through my childhood a little bit better, uh, seeing as the almost last scene was kind of terrifying. So I'm like, I need a little bit of a cherry on top, a little bit, you know, something good that comes out of this, and I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Well, there's obviously a lot to appreciate in this movie, but we'll see how much that appreciation translates into our scoring. Now, before we actually rate this movie, Alexis, how would you describe the gore score for this film?

SPEAKER_02 19:29

You know, this is a 90s movie. It's got witches, it doesn't have a lot of gore in it. It's got some shocking images, probably, but nothing that's gonna keep you up at night. Probably unless you're like seven or eight, but not as a grown adult.

SPEAKER_04 19:43

And what about the animal report? This is definitely one of those classic PETA would not be stoked on this. It's mid-range, not good.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Well, let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. The craft from 1996. Was it a hacker or slash?

SPEAKER_04 19:59

So I will go ahead and get mine out of the way. The combination of movies that Chris mentioned earlier, Grease meets Twilight, meets Hocus Pocus. I don't think it's necessarily true for this movie. I think this movie is edgier. I think it is a little bit more sinister than any of those things. But it's still not quite it for me. And and this is one of those where I don't think this is like a bad movie. I'm not gonna ravage this horrible movie, but it's it's just not for me. And I think that's understandable. This isn't, I think, the kind of movie that's gonna be for everyone. And even like one of our patrons, Rob, has said it like it's it's just not, I think, a people pleaser. And I'm unfortunately a person that just doesn't feel like I can relate to stuff like this, and maybe part of it is because I had traumatic high school experiences, and I'm forever just like, please, no high school kids in my horror, please. So, yeah, for me, it's a hack. It's not a hack because it's bad, it's a hack because it's me personally. I would say if you feel like you might enjoy it, you should totally watch it because it's not a bad movie.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

To me, the patrons got it right. It's a comfort pick, even for myself. It's 90s, you know, it's got the 90s fashion, it's got that grungy music that I like. This movie tackles themes in a way that's delicate yet, you know, brings stuff delight, and it's kind of in a badass way with mixing some witchery into it. It's got a female cast, and it's also to me kind of scary, even nowadays. Maybe not as bad as when I was a younger kid, but this movie has held on and it's something I always have in memories, so I appreciate that. And because it is a comfort pick for even myself, I'm gonna give this a slash.

SPEAKER_03 21:45

All right. I wanna say I'm the uh I'm gonna break the tie, but Chris, for friends, if you say what I think you might say we're fighting physically, I'm gonna harm you. Let's go. With that being said, I mean for For me, it's a slash. Um, the cast is awesome. For the 90s, the the actual acting is good. You know, I think a lot of it is very, it could be cheesy. So, you know, I know that for Return of the Living Dead, I said if you like fun, you obviously would say it's a slash, but I think this is the same. So uh if you are somebody that is not fun, then you would think, I'm just kidding, Ryan.

SPEAKER_01 22:27

Thanks.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

But the reality is for me, this is a slash 100%. Like I said, I watch it every single year. I feel like this has been my Halloween costume at least like at least five years. Um I my mom gets super proud of me for wearing a rosary, but really it's just because I want to be the craft, not necessarily because I'm praying it. Um, if I could pull off black lipstick, I would wear it. This is everything that I've ever wanted to be. And, you know, if this is me, this movie is me. Um, so slash all the way.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Well, I don't know what you could possibly imagine that I'm gonna say about this video that I would induce violence, but look, I I clearly gave a little bit of a recipe earlier that I know probably ruffled some feathers, but again, I don't mean that in any kind of bad way. This movie is a foundation for things that are familiar and comforting. I love Twilight so much. It is a comfort, guilty pleasure for me that I received actually, I actually feel no guilt for at all. This movie is simple and yet also beautifully complex at the same time. It's very straightforward in what it does, but then there are layers to it, like, you know, for example, I mentioned earlier that bullies are an age-old story. But this movie gave us four women taking agency back from people and circumstances that oppress them. And what's cool though is that you get so much complexity from the characters, and it'd be easy to root for them, and for so long you do, but this movie gives us flawed people who do not handle their powers well. I mean, I think all of us can relate to that in some way. They're all we've all had these moments in our lives where we didn't handle our own quote unquote powers very well. And it also takes a look at the classic destruction of friendship that we all experience in some part of our lives. So this movie is in many ways very relatable, and for that it's a slash. With that, folks, the craft from 1996, as chosen by our patrons, has earned three slashes and one hack on this The Night of Ladies. Now you can find this movie available for Rentor to stream online, so go check it out. Then join us in the second half so we can form our summoning circle together. See you in a bit. No, really, it's true. But what about those situations when spooky flicks aren't readily available? Well, here's a hack that can help slash those Sunday scaries, and they're called Calm Strips. Comm strips are textured sensory adhesives, super discrete fidgets that are reusable and residue-free. You can put them virtually anywhere. Phone cases, laptops, notebooks, crucifixes, and more. Pick at the corners, scratch the surface, or simply feel the texture for sensory feedback and stimulation. Whenever, wherever. It's a helpful tool for anxiety, ADHD, fidgeters, body focused repetitive behavior, and reducing restless energy. Comstrips have over 150,000 satisfied customers since 2020 and are used in over 5,000 classrooms. Save 20% when you shop at comstrips.com and use promo code slash during checkout. That's comstrips.com, promo code slash. Our thanks to comstrips for sponsoring this episode and the entirety of our spooky season.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

Well, there is one less kill than there are people on the podcast tonight, so it should be easy to get through. I don't know why I thought this uh movie was way gorier than I actually was, but I'm glad it wasn't. I feel like that would take away from the movie, especially something from the late 90s. But we'd love to know. I'm sure everyone's gonna pick the same favorite death, but would love to hear what y'all's favorite death was from the craft.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

I think most reasonably it's Ray, because he was the worst piece of human in the whole movie. He had it coming. Agreed. I do think it was it's one of those, it's like an incidental death. Looking back on it now, of all the deaths in these movies, they're all arguably not very witchy.

SPEAKER_04 27:08

Yeah, it's interesting that like my favorite kill is is the man on the street getting hit by the car.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

Because it was just like, whoa, and that's not witchy at all. Why is no one saying Chris? Um, I'm very confused because if anyone were to deserve a death, I thought it'd be him, or we is he a uh victim in this? I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_03 27:29

I feel like uh Chris was somebody that I probably like wanted to date and never dated. So in my head, I'm like, yeah, he should he should have been dead. So he's definitely my favorite um death. And the you know, he's just a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

He really is. I don't know why he reminds me of someone in my high school. I don't know, a lot of these people do. Um but it's funny because Chris's death was actually foreshadowed early in the movie. When Sarah goes to watch him have football practice, his jersey actually has the number 86 on it. And supposedly when you get 86 is a slang term for like getting rid of something or getting discarded or cancelled or rejected. So I thought that was very interesting. I I've never heard of that, but I do think it was cool it was on his jersey though, which is interesting. I mean, you'd have to had known that lingo, because I would never have known that. But I don't know, that that's when Nancy just gets all crazy. So to me, that's just like a very pivotal moment in the movie. But also what I really appreciate is this look of Nancy when she's getting that crazy. But what I remember specifically about this movie as a child was Sarah's house. First, you walk in and I'm like, what is this house with vines on it? Spanish style house. Like to me, it was very interesting. And then as you go throughout, yes, the roof is leaking, but to me that was never a thing in in my childhood. I remember there being so many twists and turns in this house that I loved. And if you've heard me on the podcast before, I'm a lover of houses with different things going on in them. And boy, did we get a lot of those things at the end.

SPEAKER_03 29:11

Like empty pools.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Empty pools.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

I love this house so much, especially the empty pool.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

If you're skating in it, you can s you know summon some demons, you can do a lot of things in that pool.

SPEAKER_03 29:22

You can skate or die in that pool. Pretty much. Um, I think for me, uh obviously the wardrobe is like the best thing that I like to see in this movie. I think the definitely the house. I would love to live in that house. You can give me the serpents and the cockroaches, I'm fine. Whatever's. It's fine. They have feelings too, both the serpents and the cockroaches.

SPEAKER_04 29:45

I do think that the house was really cool. And honestly, there were a lot of little things, like you said, wardrobe, like there's a lot of things that I think are the pretty common, like favorite things to see in this movie. I'm gonna go for one that I think is also quite popular, and honestly, it's crazy, Nancy. Nancy, when she's like losing it, is like 10 out of 10. Like she's holding it down, like like in a completely not holding it down kind of way, like in a completely losing it kind of way, but she just kills it, and she just is like, I don't yeah, she's just got the evil vibes, and it it's so believable, and I loved it.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

There are so many things in this movie that have so many evil vibes, and I don't know that I really get down with the full aesthetic of Nancy, but I respect it. She's definitely someone who who stands out. For me, my absolute favorite visual in this movie is its use of candles and its manipulation of lighting, specifically in my favorite scene, which is when they're fucking calling the corners and they have uh these bits of rocks and sand and and just the drama of that moment. Sometimes they they get a little bit wild. I think the lighting in the very like final third act, it's intense, it for sure fits the mood, but it was a little bit much for me. But man, that call in the corner scene, so powerful.

SPEAKER_03 31:06

Can I tell y'all my favorite scene? It's when Laura starts losing her hair in the shower. Because you're a bully. Yeah, I think I'm a bully, y'all. I just discovered this uh from this podcast. So I I'm gonna billy madison everybody and cross names and apologize one by one for being a bully. But um, when Laura starts losing her hair, and I know it's like super bad, like it looks like a, you know, like a bald headed, like the actual it looks really silly. It looks super, super silly. But for me to be like, hell yeah, screw her, you know, and kind of um again, I was on the wrong side in this movie uh until the end.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

Well, I mean, to be fair, I think we were all on that side because fuck Laura, she was a straight up terrible person. Like she, okay, I think there are there are points to be made that maybe sometimes some of the people in this movie did not deserve the things that came to them. I think Laura absolutely deserved what came to her. The worst thing was her losing hair.

SPEAKER_03 32:08

Come on. Can I tell y'all something I used to do? I'm scared. To be fair, it's when the biggest thing is when I would get made fun of because either my accent or because I was like literally one of the weirdos. So I kind of I guess I bullied the bullies, and that's probably what it was. Um, but I remember that there was this girl in high school that just used to talk so much shit. There were two people in high school that I like got back at them in some sort of way. But um, this one time I had gummy bears, and I was like, I had them in my mouth, and she walked past me and I put one in her hair. But like deep in there, dude, that thing got stuck in her hair, and it was the best moment of my life. You're such a movie that isn't easy. Tell me about it. And I remember being like so anxious about it, and then I'm like, oh man, I'm gonna have to fight her when she figures it out. But uh, she was just so mean to me. And yeah, anyway, so she got what she deserved.

SPEAKER_02 33:05

I needed you by my side in high school because I definitely wasn't that person. I got bullied a lot, but I didn't have the vols to do anything. I just would like fucking say, like, I hope the worst shit happens to them. But but I believe in karma very particularly, and I'm sure this girl still has it coming to her.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Alexis is out here. I hope Pharaoh happens to that bitch.

SPEAKER_02 33:26

Exactly. I wish someone, and specifically hair, not that I'm getting into childhood trauma right now. This girl said I copied her hair. I'm like, I'm not even friends with you. You know what the hair style was? Half up, half down. Everyone does it. And she goes, You're copying me. I was like, I would love to copy you. I don't I don't even know what I said back then. I think I was traumatized because I was like, she thinks I'm copying her. But really, I should have stuck gum in her hair. Fuck her. Still fuck her.

SPEAKER_04 33:53

This is why I don't want to watch movies that are from high school because high school is horrific, okay? Really is like, please, I I'm trying to be as far away from it as possible. I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to see it. None of none of it.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

It was more middle school for me. Both high school still had its issues, but middle school was like straight up worst point of my not adult life. Terrible time.

SPEAKER_04 34:15

Middle school was the pre-game horror for the legitimate horror of high school. It it was a hand-in-hand thing. You couldn't have one without the other.

SPEAKER_03 34:24

I know that I would have fought anybody that did any of those things to all of y'all because I also moved to this country in middle school, and then I left and then came back in high school, and I had no idea what was right or wrong. And I would say the most ridiculous things like when in Rome, because that's the only phrase that I actually knew. So I would say it all the time. Um, and then people would make fun of me and be like, that's you said it wrong. And I'd be like, Let's fight. Like nothing, I went from zero to a hundred constantly because I always had to protect myself. Obviously, we're going into trauma, but I it till this day, if that were to happen to any of y'all, I'd be there. I I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

I appreciate that. Truthfully, that's the immigrant experience because my father had the same exact thing. My dad used to just square up fucking instantly if anybody looks sideways at uh at him or his siblings as they were struggling to learn English, having come here from Cuba. Got into a lot of fights. I think this is why I have rage.

SPEAKER_03 35:25

So this was a slash for me. So can I say my next my other favorite scene? Which I would tell myself that I okay, not gonna lie, I actually did this multiple times, and his name was Mike. I'm not gonna say his last name, but he would always say that he liked a band more than I liked a band, and the band was Saves the Day, and he would say it like I I knew them first, and it was always like a battle, not sure why. Um, but I would bind him so many times, it's unreal. I would do the whole thing. I bind you, Mike, from doing harm, harm against other people and harm against yourself. But I would add, like, you fucking fuck. I bind you, Mike, you fucking fuck. Yeah. So I would get like a little, you know, a little extra in there, but man, I hated that guy. But yeah, that was my favorite scene was the binding scene. And it was like so slow and it was zoomed into her hand, and it was like, you know, it was so powerful, said every witch that ever existed.

SPEAKER_00 36:32

It was a great moment, and I think, you know, obviously it's a huge moment for the entire movie, but it's also such a big deal just for the characters, right? And then culmination, it's the it's the tables turning, so to speak, and it's Sarah realizing her power, reclaiming her power, and turning that back on someone who misused her powers or alleged powers. Um, so I I absolutely love that moment, Vero. That's huge. And I think looking at the way this shakes out and the way that things turn out for Nancy, what a bummer considering how much she had been through. And these are girls who like had so much resilience and they had to protect themselves and they were there for each other. And I think in a lot of ways, it's super sad. I'd love to see a version of the craft that's all these women much older, as opposed to I think what we got with uh the craft legacy, which is like just new characters, right? I haven't seen it yet, that's just what I've heard. But I would love to revisit and see how this experience shaped them later on. Because looking at Rochelle and and looking at Nev Campbell's character and the way that they kind of shake at the end of that, just like looking for it with desperation to hey, we were just kidding, Sarah. We were just if you're ever on call the corners, just give us a call. It it just makes me feel sad for them. I feel like uh obviously they were the followers in that group, but I also think that all those girls deserved better than the situations that they were hand handed and the way they responded to those situations.

SPEAKER_04 38:14

Yeah, it's interesting because like should she forgive them? I don't know. Maybe my little heart thought like maybe everything was gonna be cool. Maybe I'm too nice. Maybe that's why I'm not a part of friend groups like this.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

Well, my first thing would have been like I'm going after him.

SPEAKER_04 38:29

I just don't have it in my heart. So one of my favorite scenes, I think, was when Nancy is like pissed off. It's I guess kind of like a series of scenes, but I'd like the bit where Nancy's pissed off because her spell isn't coming true, and she like runs off. And so she goes home, and I'm like, dude, how are they gonna turn this into like turn this situation around? How could this story possibly take these people in this rough situation and just twist it? And how are they just gonna find money? And then he dies and it's perfect, and then they're just like, oh yeah, he has just like a pension forever, and here's $175,000, which is not enough money for the house that they got and the couch and nice and everything that every nice thing that they had. But I thought it was funny because I really doubted in that moment that the story could pull it through for me, and they really did. They they made a a good bit of the story out of it, and I love seeing their come up because I really thought Nancy was just gonna be on the low the whole time.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

Um, they were renting that, which I also thought was fucking weird.

SPEAKER_04 39:29

$175,000 is not getting you very far. But also, this was the 90s.

SPEAKER_02 39:34

Yeah. So my favorite scene is actually a multitude of scenes and kind of deals with the quality of the characters and just their stories, but it's just like when you get tidbits of their home lives and you know what each of them are going through and how different it can be, and then and their personal struggles, like how are they reacting to what's going on with them and you know, their people that are bullying them, you know, or people that you know, especially Nancy, who knows what kind of victimization is going on in that um home. But I love how that in turn transfers to like their wishes or what they're conjuring at that moment, and it's very specific, and I like that each of them are specific about it, like hey, I need money on beauty and all this sort of stuff, but they're meaning something specific. But it just that change from all of that, and then them going into okay, now we have all this stuff, now we're becoming the popular girls, you know. Now we're like, now we're better than everyone, and just it flipping the script a little bit, and then them being actually kind of the bullies, which I thought was very an interesting take on this whole movie.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

For me, I I think the characters it might have been forced, but I felt like I saw myself in every single one of them. Like I moved almost every six months to a year, so I was like in a new school all the time, um, like Sarah, and I knew that awkwardness when you're going into a new school and you don't really know anybody. Um, I think with with Nancy, I had the you know, the trauma of actually being like not knowing your family that much or like thinking your family is one way, and then kind of being like, wait, are do we have money? Do we not have money? What is actually happening and being so disconnected from your family? Um, and I think the reality is is you you kind of grow into every single character throughout the movie. Um, and the re you continue to go from um uh on one side to the other, right? You're like, okay, I want to be Nancy because she's a badass, and then you're like, oh, she's losing it. I don't want to be Nancy anymore. Now I want to be uh, you know, I want to be like Sarah because she's actually the badass. Um so you kind of want to feel like every single character. So they did a really good job of creating such a diverse group of girls that everybody wanted to be one of them. Um, and then throughout the entire movie, you connect to them personally, which makes it, you know, obviously the reason why I watch it every single year. I feel like I continue to find things like, oh yeah, I connect with that character a lot more than I did last year. Or I'm feeling like, you know, I feel really, you know, obviously Hispanic this year. I feel like I'm really proud of my roots, and then I'm like, nobody understands me because I'm Hispanic, you know, or whatever it is. But I think you continue to grow every single year and connect differently to every character. So for me, that's the reason why I watch it. Like it's quote unquote another comfort movie for me for sure.

SPEAKER_00 42:47

Oh, I love that so much. It's a beautiful description. And when you first started, I was like, man, I could really just see everybody kind of bandwagoning for witchcraft coven member they are, right? But then when we talk about like how we evolve as people and you know where we are in the highs and lows in our life, I think that's just another added deep layer to this movie that just keeps it that may it that helps it maintain its almost like the its resell value, right? It's re-watch value. I think it's one of those movies that it gives you something different the the older that it gives you something different the older you get. This is not a movie that I ever could have really related to when I was younger. I watched it and it was like an an a different experience. I did not grow up in a way that allowed me to connect and resonate with these characters, but now being older and living life the way I've had and getting to know so many people from so many different backgrounds and experiences, I can appreciate that. And it makes this movie feel even better. But I've got to tell you, the absolute worst part of this movie for me is character related, and it is Sarah's not just her fawning over Chris, but the way she really. Pined over him even after humiliating him. That felt like when I talked to earlier about this being a little bit like Greece, it's Danny and Sandy, and Danny embarrassing Sandy and her being strong enough to move on to say, like, you man, you're a scumbag, I'm done, allowing herself to feel sad about it, but then reuniting with this guy. And I mean, the reality is that so many guys this age are just ridiculously immature, but also just crass and cruel. And that was a cruel situation, and Sarah deserved better than that. And I it really does not sit well with me that A, she experienced that, but then went back to him. I just I wasn't a fan of it.

SPEAKER_04 44:47

Oh, I mean, why would you be? Because he sucked, and it sucked that she still wanted somebody after they treated her that way. But the point the point remains that teenage girls often want people that teeth treat the that teenage girls often want people that treat them like trash, and that's like the sucky reality of it. So I get it. I didn't need it to like necessarily escalate to the point that it escalated to. I could have done without that. I feel like we didn't quite need to go there, but that's kind of the point, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 45:18

Yeah, and I'm not mad at it existing because it's real, right? Like it's just it was just a disappointing moment for her. And even then, in looking at the quality of this movie, if that's the worst thing about this movie, then it's doing pretty well.

SPEAKER_02 45:33

Well, the worst part for me was that this lady in a store can just hand you a pamphlet and that just like gives you a kind of a DIY on how to be a witch. Like it just seemed I mean, I know they have to set up this movie, but I was like, literally, here here's your book on magic. It's literally two pages long.

SPEAKER_03 45:56

Vera learned just watching this movie. Listen, you know what? It's in you. You are a witch within. I'm not. The book just tells you how to get it out.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

It wasn't even a book, it was like four, it was a pamphlet.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

Let's be clear. Okay. The the pamphlet just gives it it, it like spikes your like energy or something. I don't know. But you're always a witch. It's inside you. You just kind of like let it out um on a full moon on the beach with a lightning storm. That's usually when it comes out, but that shit's in you.

SPEAKER_04 46:33

Like mufasa, apparently.

SPEAKER_03 46:35

All those things.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

Yeah, I will stand by it. It's in some people, but I don't, I'm not interested in being filled with the Mana. Manah, feel me. So I'm gonna go a little bit rogue with my best part. Um, some of our patrons have talked about it a little bit, and I I do think it is one of the underlying bits that makes this movie great, and it's the lesbian vibes. Because they're strong, they're super low-key, but they're strong. Okay. Right before we started playing uh light as a feather, stiff as a board, the vibes were lesbianism. That's what they were. That's it. Witches and lesbianism.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

I agree. I don't think I I mean, I don't think I've ever like laid down hugged any of my girlfriends. Um, well, if you know me, you know I don't like hugging at all or anybody actually being too close to me, but I have never been so close to a girl. So I agree. They they like hugged so much. I feel like they were like always between each other's legs, which is obviously not in a sexual way. I'm just saying like they actually sat on each other's laps a lot, no?

SPEAKER_04 47:44

Famously, that's how it starts. I'm gonna be honest. I've been a little bit lesbian sometimes, and I've never been that close to my friends. I don't I don't see it.

SPEAKER_03 47:54

Oh my gosh. I was obviously on the wrong side of this movie a few times, but uh I think the worst part was I feel like I'm gonna lose friends. I'm for sure gonna lose friends, but I think the worst part was when Chris got bamboozled by Nancy pretending to be Sarah. And listen, I don't like Chris, whatever, but it's like come on, like he really was into it, even though it was the spell. Yes, I understand, but he really had no idea what was going on, and I'm not okay because no means no. So fuck Nancy. So that was where I was like, okay, do I I don't want to be like Nancy, I rather be like Sarah.

SPEAKER_04 48:39

You have a good point because we give men such a hard time about how they treat women, especially like in movies like this, but like that's not cool. Imagine you're in bed with somebody and you look up and they're somebody else. Like that's rough, bro.

SPEAKER_02 48:53

I mean, sometimes that happens in your head.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

Back in your drinking days, maybe, and you were someone else, but like a m that that that is horrifying, truly.

SPEAKER_00 49:05

For sure, it's absolutely one of the worst parts of this movie. It's not okay. I'm still on team fuck Chris, figuratively, not like literally, because of regardless of there being a spell, what he does with Sarah and kind of like the obsession of that, and even outside of a spell capacity who's still a dick, but um, nobody deserves to have that happen to them. So I agree, Vero. You're not gonna lose friends. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

I also would love to just like wipe my face and be somebody like wicked hot. You know what I mean? Just be like, whoo, change my persona by a wipe of the face. That'd be a cool spell.

SPEAKER_04 49:40

When you're in the store and you don't want to talk to somebody, you're just like, wait a minute, I can hide. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 49:45

I put my face on to be Vero.

SPEAKER_03 49:47

No, Kelina. Be like, let me just toughen up real quick.

SPEAKER_00 49:51

Well, I think obviously for this movie's highs and its lows, I think we can all agree that there is some rewatchability that this movie has.

SPEAKER_02 50:00

Agreed. Yeah, totally. I don't know. I think I need some time removed to know that uh Skeet Ulrich is in this.

SPEAKER_04 50:07

It seems to me like this is a very rewatchable movie. I won't be re-watching it, but I I do think a lot of it has to do with nostalgia. So, like if you watched it when you were younger, maybe you should rewatch it as an adult.

SPEAKER_00 50:18

Okay, well, while you're in between rewatches, let's see if we can hold you over with some fact or fiction from Vero.

SPEAKER_03 50:25

Yes, yes, yes. Alright, let's get this started. Ladies, the actress who plays Nancy was actually practicing Wiccan and she owned her own occult shop. She even wrote the passages her characters reads from the invocation of the spirit book in the magic shop.

SPEAKER_02 50:43

She be looking witchy, but I feel like she was in other movies, including Waterboy. I don't know the time frames. I don't know if she had time for all that. So fiction.

SPEAKER_03 50:53

I'm gonna take a nod from our patrons and go fact. Dun dun dun. It's actually fiction. She's a pretend Wiccan. It was all a rumor. She did buy a bunch of stuff, obviously, just to get ready for her character, but she then sold it. Uh, she really got into a few books while she was uh, you know, getting ready. The Book of Ceremonial Magic by Arthur Edward Waite is one of them. So she did read these books, but it was all for her character. She actually wasn't a Wigan. Second question Robin Tooney, who plays Sarah, wore a wig throughout the entire production of this movie.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

I totally believe that it looked a little bit off. So fact.

SPEAKER_03 51:35

This is gonna be the wiggiest wig. It's definitely a wig. That is actually a fact. She completely shaved her head uh for Empire Records, the movie in 1995. Uh, so it's around the same time. Yeah, this was an actual fact. It was wiggity wiggity whack. All right, ladies, number three. The girls had a really difficult time filming this scene, especially when they were calling all four corners. Uh, they had a tough time staying in character. Rachel True, who played Rochelle, kept cracking jokes about the Wiccans, and it was just a good old time fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

I think it's probably a fiction. I think they had a little bit more respect than that, or I like to believe they did.

SPEAKER_03 52:17

Honestly, it feels like a fact to me. It's actually fiction. So they they did have a really hard time playing um filming this part, but crazy story. While they were filming, um, it kept getting interrupted. So the actresses were actually saying these Wiccan kind of spells and languages, um, and there was fog rolling in the background, which is already super, super scary. Um, it was at midnight, which is obviously if you are any type of witchy, you know that that's when the ghouls and goblins come out. Um, and then a flock of bats kept hovering over their head, right? Unreal. Um, the tide was rising. Dude, I would have taken it all in. I would have been like, We're here, hear us, Mana, fill me. So they had bats all over their head, the tide was rising, the candles kept going off, so they had to keep lighting these candles over and over again. And then when um Nancy actually says our favorite line, Mana Fill Me, they totally lost power on set. Yeah, I'm good. Can we take that free side out of the beginning? Oh, we already said it. It's already on the file. Uh perfect for spooky Halloween time. All right, last one, y'all. More than 3,000 snakes were used for one of the scenes in this movie.

SPEAKER_02 53:42

Fact. Seems really cool.

SPEAKER_03 53:43

I'm going fiction. It is a fact. They included pythons, boas, water snakes. I thought water snakes killed you. Oh no, that's moccasins. I don't know the difference. The shoes, yeah, they do kill you. Right. They're so hard on your feet. They even had rare albino snakes, uh, and a 10-foot Amazon uh Amazon constructor. I don't think that's a real snake. It is terrifying. That's where I draw the line. If there's a 10-foot snake coming my way, I'm out of there. Uh, but yeah, that's a fact. There was over 3,000 snakes on scene in this movie.

SPEAKER_00 54:20

Fucking wild. I hate that. I'm not signing on to any project that involves 3,000 snakes to be present in one area.

SPEAKER_04 54:27

And cockroaches and maggots, not just snakes.

SPEAKER_00 54:31

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

And rats.

SPEAKER_00 54:33

Uh-uh-mm.

SPEAKER_02 54:34

It was all of it. Exactly what I was scared when I was a kid.

SPEAKER_00 54:37

No, no, no, no, no, no. Well. And better news, there you have it, folks. The craft from 1996 is chosen by our patrons has earned three slashes and one hack. Now we've certainly had a lot to talk about here, but it doesn't end here by any means. We want to know what you think. Do you believe in invoking the spirits? Do you get down with 3,000 snakes in one spot? Let us know. You can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free over in our Discord. Click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_04 55:06

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode and want to nominate one of your favorite movies for us to review, consider becoming one of our patrons during our new blood drive. Visit patreon.com slash hackerslash to enjoy more of the show with early access, extended episodes, bonus contents, and live shows. If you sign up through October 31st, you'll also receive our limited edition Super Sick Anniversary poster.

SPEAKER_00 55:26

Thanks again to our friends at Commstrips for making our 2022 spooky season possible. We'll see you next time, folks, and remember, whatever you send out there, you get back times three. Bye. Sun.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

Hail to the guardians of the watchtower of the east. Powers of air and invention. Hear me, hear us.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the South.

SPEAKER_04 56:00

Powers of fire and feeling, hear us. Hail to the guardians of the watchtowers of the west. Powers of water intuition, hear us.

SPEAKER_00 56:08

Hail to the guardians of the watchtower of the north by the powers of mother and earth. Hear us.

SPEAKER_04 56:14

Aid us in our magical working on this October's Eve.

SPEAKER_03 56:18

Serpents of old, ruler of deep. Guardian of the bitter sea. Show us your glory. Show us your power. We pray of thee. We pray of thee. We invoke thee.

SPEAKER_00 56:34

Does anyone feel any different? Can anyone walk on water? I feel like I'm rugita all over again.

SPEAKER_04 56:40

I'm ready. The way I don't believe in stuff like this, but I still feel stressed about it is hilarious to me. Like, because you know I don't take this seriously. I'm like, please, come on. But then I'm like, wait a minute, maybe we should chill out. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 56:54

Listen. My mom already lit a candle, so we're okay.

SPEAKER_00 56:59

The black flame candle.

SPEAKER_03 57:00

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

I have a candle out back here, but uh it's a little bit too hot in my room, so I'll hold off on lighting that. But I uh I I do feel like I might have to like go to a certain shop tomorrow and just buy some things to cleanse myself because you know you could fuck around, but then you have to find out. So we'll see when we find out.

SPEAKER_04 57:18

Yeah. Here's the thing if you buy the cleansing candles, that means you believe in the good, so you also validate the bad. That's the real problem here. You gotta you gotta take both.

SPEAKER_00 57:29

It all comes. What comes around? We're good though, because Rob has his wax warmer on.

SPEAKER_04 57:36

Shout out to them smells, bro. You know what? Actually, the reason I'm saying that is literally Jelly Unicorn was telling us one night. She was like, if you take the good, you gotta take the bad. That's exactly and you said that, and I took it so seriously. I was like, nah, I'm good. I don't know nothing. I don't know nothing about nothing, okay?

SPEAKER_00 57:53

Listen, all I'm saying is maybe one of us can walk on water and we'll inherit a large sum of money soon.

SPEAKER_03 57:59

Listen, I'm ready. I'll take it for the team, y'all. I'll walk. I'm a good swimmer.

SPEAKER_00 58:05

I'm a terrible swimmer, so I would like to at least be the one to walk on water. I'll give up the money. I guess I'll be the one with the scars, okay? But then you don't have scars, so it'll be okay. Yeah, it'll be okay. You know, you have them and you get rid of them, and then they kind of fall off. You do like to pick at things, right? Don't you like pimple poppers and shit?

SPEAKER_02 58:22

Oh, yeah, I definitely uh pick on my face really bad.

SPEAKER_00 58:24

Okay, so you would be the one who would be satisfied by scars falling off of your skin. Yes, completely.

SPEAKER_03 58:30

Technically, in the all four corners, you were scars because you're fire. Who was I? No, you actually were water. I was air. Oh, I water.

SPEAKER_04 58:42

No, no, I was water. You're right. I don't know who's who anymore.

SPEAKER_00 58:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:46

I don't know who I am. I'm alive though. That's what really matters here.

SPEAKER_00 58:50

I wanted to be uh Earth because I'm a Capricorn and an Earth side. You know, if we're talking about other stuff we don't believe in.

SPEAKER_03 58:58

Um I think Shy can attest to me being a little witchy though. I do kind of predict the future. Ooh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 59:05

Actually, true story. I'm not surprised. Facts. Yeah. I was having a hell of a time, and I can't even remember what the exact situation was, but I was carrying some weight in my soul.

SPEAKER_03 59:15

This is right. This is true.

SPEAKER_00 59:17

And I had just like walked in one day, and Vero just looked at me and said, Are you okay? What's wrong? And I'm like, and I thought I had done a great job hiding this, and I was just like chilling at work and everything was fine. But uh there she was, seeing right through me.

SPEAKER_03 59:30

Yeah, I was. And then to be fair, I was like, no, no. She tried to like say, Hey, it's nothing, and I'm like, no, no, no, it's something. Something about somebody treated you wrong. I kept going. I was right.

SPEAKER_00 59:42

We were about to break up, so yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:44

Oh wow, yeah, no big deal. Usually though, the real talk, real lady, lady talk. Yeah. What I I usually dream of things and then they come to like the reality, right? Like that's how I I was like, I had a dream about you that you're fighting. That's how it actually like started. Oh my god. It's it's dreams that come into like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

I hope my dreams never come true. There's some weird ones out there.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:12

I'm not a dream person, but I think feeling things is natural to some degree. And some people just don't don't be hearing what they're feeling. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:22

They're not in tune. So there was a time, and I think I've told this maybe on B sides before. There was a really weird period of time where uh when I was younger, I was sitting in my bedroom uh in Texas, and I had like these these windows, and I always slept with the windows open. We lived out in the middle of nowhere, no one around for miles. It was always really safe, right? And there was one particular night where I woke up in the middle of the night and I just stared at my window and I felt like someone was watching me. So I got up and I closed the window, went back to bed. The next morning, I'm getting ready for school, and my mom's on the phone with my aunt. Uh, see, they were down here in Florida at the time, and my aunt was sharing how they had just caught some guy peering into her daughter's bedroom while they were getting ready for school. Oh no. Oh no. The other weird thing, my mom had a dream that our dog, a Siberian husky named China, had gotten hit by a car. The next day she wakes up, she calls my aunt. Her dog, who was the dog's sister, had gotten hit by a car.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:25

Oh man. Spooky shit. Yeah, I'm not about it. It's too spooky. I I see, I don't like that kind of stuff. I just want the I'll I'll bring the darkness. It's all fun until it's real. Yeah, I'll bring the darkness, but like I won't say it out loud. I'll only say like the posy shit, you know?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:41

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:42

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:42

The I can tell something's wrong vibes. Those are the good vibes. Hey, what's wrong? I can see that something's wrong. That's it. Don't tell me what else you thought was gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:50

Don't tell me my dog's gonna get hit by a car. Right, right, cool. Got it. That's right. I'll just keep my shit to myself then. Like, I don't want to know. Just let me find out.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:57

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:58

Let me find out. No surprises. Sorry, I don't know why I'm laughing. I the pause that Ryan had was the best because I was like looking at you. I was getting so anxious. I was like, God damn it, say sync.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:13

I was stressed to see if it was recording. I'm not used to having to record on my computer, okay?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:20

Okay. All right. Greetings and salutations.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:26

What's up? Are we doing quotes? I am doing a quote, but I might need a second. Oh, did someone come in? Yeah. Can we not repeat quotes here? It won't be. There's no way you guys have the same as me. Ah. One's very famous.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

I feel like should we should we say them just in case?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:44

One, two, three. We all say them out.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:47

But mine, I I don't want to say mine. Well, I mean, no one's gonna laugh at it right now out loud. Um, mine's literally just who's Connie Francis? Because literally, who is Connie Francis?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:58

Who is Connie?

SPEAKER_04 1:02:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:00

Okay, cool, cool, cool.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:01

No, I want mine to be a surprise. I doubt anyone had it.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:05

No, y'all probably have the same ones. Probably. Um, how many sentences is yours? One sentence. No, right. Um, Vero's is two sentences, so we're good.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

Oh no, yeah, you're good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:17

Cool. All right, Alexis, you just give us a thumbs up when everything's good. You like my head? Yes. Good head.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:26

Hello? You sounded so scared. You're like, you like my head? All right, here we go.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:34

Yeah, I gotta brace myself for this. I don't often speak Spanish. Y nuestra amiga de los muertos, velo.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:44

I literally want to be on the record not knowing who Skeet Ulrich is, and I'm okay with that. And I looked it up and still don't know who that is. So here we are.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:54

You've seen Scream.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:55

I know I have. Sydney's boyfriend and Scream. I understand, but it's just like it doesn't ring a bell. His I guess because I'm looking at his pay his face as an old person. Okay, yeah, young, okay, yeah. Young Skeet, I see. That's gross to say.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:11

I for like at least four minutes thought that he was dead and he died of a drug overdose, and I made up his whole life and death in my head. Be careful. Um, but he's still he's still alive. Y'all, yeah, right. I'm not asleep, so it's okay, it won't come to life. But the entire time I was like, are we is anybody gonna be like RIP or too soon? But nobody did. I'm like, let me Google this real quick. Is this dude still alive? He is, y'all. He's still, yeah, yeah. Did you not see uh the newest scream movie this year? I did, but um, I don't know. In my head, he was still dead. You weren't prepared for it. No one's prepared for it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:53

I was not prepared for you saying this was like Disney.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:56

I know. I for a second I was like, are we still talking about hocus pocus?

SPEAKER_04 1:05:01

I s that it I have the same, it's I don't know. Again, I never saw it though, you know. I'm I'm a noob here, so I just only knew the things I've seen people say about it.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:09

Well, it's far from Disney.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:12

Okay, I feel like oh what I was gonna say is that I forgot what I was gonna say because I have ADHD. No, okay, I remember. Reality is that if this was reality, reality is if this was reality.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

To be fair, I do have both a leaky roof and roaches. So here we are. Yeah. I'm basically a witch. I pray for you often.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:42

Are you eating maggots though?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:43

Fuck no. No. It's one of my food rules. I don't like cream, cream filled things, lettuce, corn, or maggots. Wait, you don't like corn? I hate corn. Excuse me. She hates so much. Well, I don't I don't hate it to the extent that I hate lettuce, but I do not here's the thing corn falls under the rule of I do not eat things that look the same going out as they do going in. That's my rule. It's only one thing in the whole world that anybody knows that looks the same.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:10

Don't don't go down this road.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:12

What if it's okay? Let's go to the apocalypse setting for like four seconds that I constantly live in. Yes, you will die. But corn, if you eat corn, then you is it gross to like you could continue eating the same corn and never, never it's it's too far. You will die.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:29

Cannibalism before corn.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:31

Feces is very not good for you. It's fine. You just wash it a little bit. There's no washing. Please stop. Goodbye.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:38

This is one of Vero's many contingencies on her way to being a zombie.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:43

Every, you know, WB UPN or uh every WB CW show, all those things coming up that were all witchy. UPS too. Yeah, UPS is a UPN, you hoes, okay? UPN is a real network, but they didn't have no witch shows.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:01

Didn't have like Moesha on there and stuff.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:03

Yeah, that was not the witch shows. That was the CW. Fat X, my favorite channel. Why am I getting flamed from every direction tonight? You got the DHL? Yeah. Overseas, you ordered it from Europunk.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:19

Yep. VPN. Ooh, wow. I need to really dry the tears from my eyes.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:29

Alexis and I are looking at each other, try to see who's gonna go first.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:33

I was like, you go for your mic, so I'm like, okay. It's easier when we're like, because I'm Mac just like steps away, so I'm like, but it's so hard when you never know if someone's going in their mic or just like talking.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:43

I know, and I'm like really trying to talk into the mic. I'm low-key making out with the mic a little bit. As it should be. You guys are all welcome. You can hear mic. Sorry. A crystal love. We did it.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:01

Are we still gonna fight?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:03

Nah. Okay. No, you're you're a squad now. You're gang gang. We cool. In the in the words of shy. In the words of shy, we're gang gang. He had it coming. Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:16

He had it coming. He only had himself to blame. If you'd have been there. No, okay, got it.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:24

When Sarah goes to watch him play football, practi when Sarah goes to see him play football. Why can I not say practice football?

SPEAKER_03 1:08:34

I think it's football practice.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:35

Yeah, there we go. Well, actually, I think she got me basically. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:40

Uh you mean getting killed? Yeah, 86 doobie when uh your favorite restaurant is out of mashed potatoes. It's 86 mashed potatoes.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:50

So you're just gonna cancel that fucking restaurant.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:53

No, it no, it's like you say it when you work there. Oh you you will announce like 86 mashed potatoes, like we don't have them. Make sure you go tell everybody that. Like if somebody goes to order it, it's like nah, we ain't got that.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:09

Oh, this is a different chapter of Ryan's life that we haven't heard on the show yet. All these years, and you're still surprising us.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:15

Yeah, this is food service, Ryan. Uh and I do actually still say 86 all the time. 86 and heard, things you can never let go of.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:25

Wait, is this reality though? Because I if you teach me something new, like that's a vibe, or it's giving me, I will forever say it. Okay. But if it's 86 is like how okay, give it to me in a sentence so that I don't sound like a dodo bird when I go into work tomorrow.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:46

Um, okay, well, first off, I can't imagine a sentence where you would use this at work. The other thing is I'm not, it's not a slang thing. It's like um a jargon for food service. So it's not like I'm telling you this is like a cool thing to say. It's it's like a jargon term. And you would just be like, hey, we're 86 mashed potatoes. Like a like someone in the kitchen would be like 86 mashed potatoes, and you'd be like, hey, sorry guys, I can't bring you mashed potatoes. Can I get you a different side with that?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:13

I I can I can think of the perfect two sentences for you to use, Vero. Okay. 86 the run. Ooh. And your order was 86.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:22

We we don't have it, is the point. We don't have it. It's 86. We don't have it.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:26

Well, that's easy to say all the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:29

But I'm not in I'm not telling you you need to. Listen, too late. Too late, Ryan. Everybody's gonna hear it. But wait, can I say, like, man, you're 86? Like, okay, uh you're dead to me. You're 86 to me.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:43

That's a little dramatic, but Jelly Unicorn has the perfect example. She put, my mom said 86 the attitude. Like, get rid of it. Get rid of that. We're done. Oh, I like that one. That's the perfect way to use it. I like it. I'll say that wrong, but I'm gonna try it. Rob, I'm not giving it to I'm not doing more jargon.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:58

Jargon with Ryan. We love it.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:00

But I can. I worked in restaurants for a very long time. I do still say herd and people know it.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:07

Whatevs. It's fine. They have feelings too, both the serpents and the cockroaches.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:12

We're killing cockroaches. I'm a cockroach killer, sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:15

Same. You know, my husband's probably outside. I just don't like lizards. I think, or like, I don't like any kind of like lizard, but everything else, I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:26

I famously still have lizard borden somewhere in my room. I do remember that. We named him Lizard Borden to the patrons and I. Is he behind the board? He's somewhere. He's somewhere. I saw him a couple days ago. He's just vibing, chilling, helping me out with the podcast, listening to me, being a sounding board. I hate you for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:11:46

You're 86. Sorry. You can 86 people from your life. I think the reality was for me. Why do I keep saying reality, honestly? I don't even say that word ever, but erase that.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:02

I've never seen Ryan type the word fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:04

That's not true. I used to cuss all the time.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:07

I can I heard you cuss a few times when we first started hanging out, but you were already like on your way to not cussing. Literally not true because I know I used to rage. Yeah, I if I search the word fuck in our text messages, it's not coming up. Interesting.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:23

Not true. And also, I was quoting Avril Levine, so it doesn't count. Adam Levine, I say it every time.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:30

Avril Levine.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:32

I just want to say I'm going all the way back to 2017. You're not on here one fucking time.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:39

Honey.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:40

Interesting. Sorry, continue. I'm probably on there a lot. Yeah. Oh my god, Dan, who we started the show, is on here.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:46

Wait, to be fair, it's always from I can only see from you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:52

Chris, I do have to mention one thing completely off topic, but on the podcast is thank you for editing the way you do. Because my stepmom the other day just said as she's writing her dissertation, is listening to the podcast, and I she goes, and she goes, I didn't realize you cursed so much. And I just swallowed and I was like, Oh man, at least you're probably not getting the tidbits that I actually say. Yeah. Because she's like, it's so good. And I'm like, God, please don't laugh, don't just don't listen.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:20

Uh Alexis insert last name here. You're uh the first fuck in our text message exchange was um 814 2018. Sorry, I digress.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:34

Yeah, you're not wrong though. You did come into the life into my life like right when I was like, I really gotta stop because I sound horrible.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:41

And now I'm like a nice sweet bean. I think we say WT. I don't think we actually say the whole thing. Nope. WT means white, not white trash.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:52

No, white trash. W T. I don't think so. It's just maybe I'm wrong. Filled with the Mana. Mana fill me.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:08

Spirit fills you. Zittalo.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:11

You sound like Sebastian.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:13

I know. I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:17

I'm gonna go a little bit rogue with my favorite part, just because uh uh our patrons have talked about it a little bit with this movie. God bless my words. See, you believe in it. You just blessed it. That's what I started saying instead of the F-word, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:36

That's uh page seven of the lesbian agenda.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:39

I don't think it is because girls don't actually get this close with each other. So it if it is, it's not a good agenda.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:45

They don't get that close to their straight best friends, but I've had many straight girls sitting on my lap as a friend. I don't believe you.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:53

Oh uh I take it back. I do believe you. I know straight girls, you're right. I believe that.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:57

I don't think I've ever sat on a lap. Is that weird? Like man, a female. I don't I'm like really trying to think of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:05

No, I'm not saying I have, but I do know how straight girls treat lesbians sometimes. So I I could imagine. That's a straight girl who treats lesbians, especially in like high school.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:16

Okay, I don't be sit on your lap though.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:18

Not yet. Hello?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:19

Maybe when we watch Halloween.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:21

I do request that we sit next to each other in the movies.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:24

Yeah, yeah. To answer Nathan, uh, no, I haven't sat on Santa Claus. That's so creepy. Oh my god, I didn't know what that was about.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:34

I was like, why are you asking about Santa Claus?

SPEAKER_03 1:15:37

I haven't sat in Santa Claus's lap. Also, I celebrate the three kings, and I'm not sitting on any king's lap either. Um, especially not three of them.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:51

Some time removed to know that uh Skeet Ulrich is in this.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:54

No, he died. He died. He's gone. Chill. She wrote the word I can't say that word. Invo Invocation. Invo Invocation. I want to say it in Spanish so bad. Invocacion, bro. Invocacion de los espíritus.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:14

Legit. This is gonna be the wiggiest wig. It's definitely a wig.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:20

Oh no, you missed the wiggiest wig in the return of the living dead.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:24

Which one?

SPEAKER_00 1:16:25

Trash? The red hair.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:26

Oh yeah, but you know, that was no no no. This wig looks way worse. First off, did you see Trash's boobs? Why were you looking at her hair? Nobody asked for that.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:35

I know. What the hell? I I was like, man, I'll rock a mohawk if I have those boobs. It's that this is definitely the worst wig. An ugly. What? I fucking love moccasins, the shoes. You and Mac both. Listen.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:54

Hail to the guardians of the Guardian!

SPEAKER_03 1:17:00

Guardians of the galaxy.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:04

All right. Stop recording. We're done recording. Stop recording. Okay.