252: 2022 Slasher's Choice Awards & Farewell

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Um moo to my house. I got room.

SPEAKER_08 0:13

I think you just got an invitation to U-Haulet.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Oh, I know. I know what that means now.

SPEAKER_05 0:21

Greetings and salutations, and welcome to the 2022 Slasher's Choice Awards with Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. I reckon it's about high time we cut to the chase and give the people what they want to see. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. A total joke, a waste of time, or a slash. Totally killer pun intended. We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with a perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, and I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_08 0:59

Hey, hey, hey, don't look him in the eyes, please.

SPEAKER_05 1:01

The Gore Lover Alexis. Come and get me, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

The cowardly creeper Ryan. They're not as nihilistic as they look on the internet. That's just what they want you to think.

SPEAKER_05 1:09

The classic horror connoisseur Sean. What's your favorite scary movie?

SPEAKER_04 1:13

And the paranormal paramour, Binx. Well, no offense, but I kind of have a thing about clean sheets.

SPEAKER_05 1:19

Normally we're here to review movies, but this is our very last episode of 2022. Now, in true hacker/slash tradition, it's time for us to look back on the year, reflect on what we've done, and set our course for 2023. First up, let's see what 2022 looked like for us by the numbers, courtesy of our Android Mac.

SPEAKER_08 1:36

Blooploop, I am a robot. So this year, we had 61 total episodes. We watched 58 movies. Now that means we watched 95 hours of movies. We recorded for 183 hours. Chris spent 426 hours editing.

SPEAKER_05 1:56

Oof. Yikes. I love you all.

SPEAKER_08 2:00

We handed out 57 hacks. We landed two universal hacks. We doled out 164 slashes, leading to 25 universal slashes.

SPEAKER_05 2:10

It sounds like this is a very good year for horror on our show. Agree. Honestly, 25 is a lot.

SPEAKER_00 2:16

That is a lot of universal slashes.

SPEAKER_05 2:18

Okay, but this is also the year that we've had the most episodes with just two people. So not saying much. I mean, it wasn't oh boy. Half of that shit would have been gone. It wasn't that many. I'm looking at you, Scream 2022. That's on y'all.

SPEAKER_08 2:34

Now we had a 40% increase in our patrons.

SPEAKER_05 2:36

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_08 2:37

And we added five new team members, which is three new hosts and two staff members, Ripley and Zach, who will also make appearances in the future.

SPEAKER_05 2:46

We're really just out here growing the family, aren't we? Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_08 2:50

The only proper response to that is oh also we have 140 new Discord members, so that's pretty awesome. So we really are reproducing.

SPEAKER_05 2:56

It absolutely is because we just launched our Discord this fucking year.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 3:01

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

And honestly, I feel like we've tried many things in the world. Discord is really the one that's like popping. And it's the one that gets us closest to people that care about our podcast, which is really cool.

SPEAKER_04 3:13

Looking at the community that, you know, that's built, right? And how active they are, it's kind of wild to think that it's just been this year. There's so many, that's a lot of people.

SPEAKER_05 3:22

It absolutely is. I think it's one of the more prouder things. So this wasn't even really that much of a goal at the end of last year, but we decided to start this off in January and have it open only to patrons from January to March. And then in March we opened it up to everyone. And let me tell you, I cannot thank our listeners enough for how enthusiastic they've been. And you know, I I said this in like a pretty sappy message on our general chat, but you know, we opened the door to the house, but they really came in and made it a home.

SPEAKER_08 3:51

Oh, they brought thorough blankets. The furry ones. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

You know, when a a a woman moves in with a man and and his house has nothing and and she brings measuring cups? Yes. That's really what makes it a home.

SPEAKER_00 4:04

Brings measuring cups. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:06

Measuring cups is really something a man has never bought himself, but a woman has to bring over because she needs to cook something.

SPEAKER_04 4:12

That is an exceptionally perfect example. I understood that completely. Yeah. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_08 4:19

Why are you cooking with measuring cups, first of all? You should be doing that by eye. Exactly. Using measuring cups for baking.

SPEAKER_02 4:24

Yeah, sometimes you have to bake, and a man has never baked, okay? You gotta bring over the measuring cups. Let the ancestors guide you.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

I just want to put it on the record that I love to cook.

SPEAKER_02 4:33

I'm happy for you, but I do not believe that when you lived by yourself you had measuring cups. I will not believe it.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

I'm sure I did.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

I don't I I will like to ask your wife.

SPEAKER_04 4:43

Sean said, Sean said, I am the exception. Sean is the exception, not the rule.

SPEAKER_02 4:47

May I ask your wife first? Sean really came out here like not all men.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Not all men, right? I'm here, I'm here as the 1%.

SPEAKER_05 4:57

I'm okay with that. Thank you so much, Mac. Obviously, those are some stellar numbers, but this year we're also treated to a special grouping of numbers brought to us by our Spotify Unwrapped.

SPEAKER_04 5:08

Yeah, so we have released publicly 50 episodes, and so 3,180 minutes of publicly released episodes, and that's actually more than 94% of other creators in the TV and film category.

SPEAKER_05 5:22

Which was a nice little fact, you know. I was surprised by that. And I guess, you know, I hadn't even considered that 11 of our episodes were just behind the scenes for patrons. We had a lot this year.

SPEAKER_04 5:32

Yeah, that's awesome. And and when you look at it, in terms of countries reached, we've reached 67. Wow. Wild.

SPEAKER_02 5:39

Oof, I can't even name that many. I'm sure you could if you tried. 100% confident that I could not. Definitely cannot.

SPEAKER_05 5:45

We're big in the US, Canada, the United Kingdom, and Australia. Those are our top four. I love that.

SPEAKER_04 5:52

And so in terms of listener growth, I love this number, 298% increase. Amazing.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 6:00

And in terms of episode stream growth, 218% increase. Wow.

SPEAKER_05 6:05

So not only are more people listening to us, they're also streaming more episodes.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

That's awesome. And then in terms of follower growth, 147% increase. So we're already breaking records, it looks like. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

I truly love this journey for us.

SPEAKER_05 6:20

It's been the best year ever.

SPEAKER_04 6:22

Yep. And just to get a little bit better, uh, we were a top 10 podcast for 1,698 fans. Damn.

SPEAKER_06 6:30

Mind blowing. There really was. When I saw those on Instagram, I was like, are you kidding me? That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

I don't know a thousand people.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

I'm like, do I know 20 people? A thousand people know you.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

You probably don't know them, but they know you. Or I do know them and they pretend like they don't listen to the podcast.

SPEAKER_04 6:48

Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_06 6:49

They secretly like you. Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 6:51

And so we were actually in the top 10% of most shared globally, and in the top five percent of most followed podcasts.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Whoa.

SPEAKER_04 7:02

So cool.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Love to see it. Some might say we're on the come up. Definitely. No question about it. It doesn't even matter about numbers. We are a little bit popping. And also we're popping in like a hard category. Like we're very specific horror movie reviews, you know. It's not the biggest podcast category. I love it.

SPEAKER_06 7:20

And speaking of the come up, in 2022, we had a total body count of 4,666. And yes, that is 666. Spooky. It's creepy.

SPEAKER_08 7:33

It seems like it was done on purpose. We'll just say there was a lot of great planning. Whether or not Chris realizes it, there was something, you know, just taking a hold of her soul, making it happen.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

Yeah, it was actually 4,667. But you know what? One was probably miscounted by me at some point this year.

SPEAKER_05 7:50

One of the zombie movies.

SPEAKER_06 7:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:52

Yeah, we we just had one less off-screen kill. Uh, really, this was uh Alexis playing chess and not checkers. Well, no, she should do the lineup.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

There you go. And for the animal report, I just have like a couple of mentions of the ones that we rated like it's not cool up in here, you know. Um, so one that I wasn't on the witch, evidently not cool for animals. Honestly, unsurprising. It's just the name. Uh, secret window, unfortunately not cool for animals. Pet Cemetery, kind of obvious. X, Urban Legend. The real one that messed me up this year is Cujo. I'm not over it. I'm not cool about the Cujo situation. So I feel like our animal report for the year is like, I wish it was better. But also, to be fair, I wish it was just perfect. So does that count? I don't know. I'd say so. Not a great year for animals on the show. No, but again, just the Cujo. The Cujo was so sad. Rest in peace. My dog.

SPEAKER_05 8:44

Literally. Well, speaking of Cujo, I know that good boy was nominated in a couple different categories here this evening. Now it's time for us to start handing out some awards. Now, in true hacker slash tradition, we have our hack category, we have our slash category for the best and worst in show. Let's go ahead and start out with our slashes.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

So, in the category of best survivor, these are the nominees. We have obviously Lori Schrode from Halloween Ends, Maxine from X, Jay from It Follows, Sidney Prescott from Scream, Finney from The Black Phone, and Chris from Get Out. The winner for the 2022 Best Survivor is Chris from Get Out.

SPEAKER_04 9:27

I mean, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:29

Super well deserved. It felt like one of those that I was embarrassed I didn't nominate him.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Yeah, honestly, I uh maybe that wasn't my pick, but I definitely agree. I'm I'm down for that.

SPEAKER_05 9:39

Yeah, here I was on my basic Lori Strode chip. Of course you were. Who expected anything else?

SPEAKER_00 9:44

You gotta up your game. She's gotta be in the running. I mean, there's some there's some good ones in here, but Chris for sure deserves it.

SPEAKER_05 9:51

Absolutely. Now, to counter any good survivor, we also have to take a moment to acknowledge our best villains.

SPEAKER_00 9:57

In the category of best villain, the nominees are Art the Clown, Terrifier 2, The Cenobites, Hellraiser, 1987, Graboids, Tremors, 1990, Black Phillip, The Witch, It, from It Follows in 2014, and the winner for the 2022 Best Villain is Art the Clown, Terrifier 2!

SPEAKER_05 10:30

There it is. Well, in consideration of art, his origin might still be a mystery, but you know, we have a few this year that we have to rank the best origin story.

SPEAKER_08 10:41

In the category of best origin story, the nominees are Pearl from Pearl 2022, The Blob from The Blob 1988, The Mother from Barbarian 2022, Emotep from The Mummy 1932, and The Crawlers from The Descent 2005. The winner for the 2022 Best Origin Story is Pearl from Pearl 2022.

SPEAKER_05 11:02

Which is deserving. Honestly, an entire movie devoted to an origin story, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:07

Makes sense. You should totally be on Sim Academy Award. That'll be me.

SPEAKER_08 11:14

But uh, you know what? This I feel like this one is pretty fair. Like you said, you know, this is a great this is a great origin story because you not only get to hear like what happened to a character, but you get an entire movie exploring their psyche.

SPEAKER_05 11:24

Oh, a hundred percent. And, you know, in that exploration of her psyche, we did get a number of brutal murders, but let's see what we have in store for our best kill.

SPEAKER_06 11:33

In the category of best kill, the nominees are Keith from Barbarian, 2022, Paul from The Lost Boys, 1987, Allison from It Follows, 2014, Howie from Terrifier 2, 2022, David from Bodies Bodies Bodies, 2022, The Parks from Nope, 2022. The winner for the 2022 Best Kill is Keith from Barbarian 2022. That's my boy, that's my nomination.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

So many 2022s. I know.

SPEAKER_06 12:12

I said it so many times I forgot it.

SPEAKER_00 12:14

This is a great year for movie releases.

SPEAKER_08 12:16

That's that's it truly was.

SPEAKER_04 12:18

A lot of good kills on this category from this year.

SPEAKER_05 12:21

Absolutely. And you know what? Look, when we think about the sequels and the remakes that we covered this year, there's a lot of kills in those. So on to our next category.

SPEAKER_04 12:29

Alright, so in the category of best sequel or remake, the nominees are Terrifier 2 from 2022, The Blob 1988, Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022, The Return of the Living Dead, 1985, Hellraiser 2022, and Pearl 2022. The winner for the 2022 Best Sequel or Remake is Terrifier 2 2022. Womp. Lots of twos. Please stop saying the ears at this point.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

We got some unnecessary 2022s in there.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

I know. I personally feel that we should have separated sequels and remakes because they're very different here. Fair. Okay. Listen, this is the bit. The 2022 is the bit, and that's okay. And that's the bit, and we're and we're sticking to it. Alexis, how dare you nominate Texas Chainsaw Massacre?

SPEAKER_04 13:29

I wanted to really throw in some some uh I have to say, I'm like, all right, who did this? And then I was like, oh, okay, I'll allow it.

SPEAKER_06 13:40

It makes sense.

unknown 13:41

I'll allow it.

SPEAKER_06 13:43

I just wanted to shake things up, and I was like, yep, I'm doing this. I think I did the blob.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

I think that was my nomination, which I feel proud of because I feel like y'all are hating.

SPEAKER_05 13:52

It was honestly, it was a great nomination, Ryan. I thought it was hilarious that Texas Chainsaw Massacre was somehow nominated as both the best and worst of the same category. It truly was.

SPEAKER_04 14:03

Yeah, I think that's that was the gag, right? Because I'm like, I definitely put this somewhere else. Did not expect it to be here. So here we are.

SPEAKER_05 14:12

Well, sequels, remakes aside, sometimes it's really just all about the story.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

All right, our next category is the best plot. And our nominees are Nope from 2022, Get Out from 2017. Shout out to Jordan Peel doing his thing, Bodies, Bodies, Bodies from 2022, The Mummy from 1932, who nominated that? What's wrong with that? And Rosemary's Baby from 1968. What? I haven't even watched the movie. It just feels like an odd nomination.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

And you can't you can't question it. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

The mummy is a seminal love story. The winner for the 2022 best plot is Get Out from 2017, which I very much stand behind. Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_08 15:00

I'm down for it. I think some several of us nominated Get Out for several things. So it's a good year.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

For me, Get Out is like one of my like topic, I I just love that movie so much. It's so good. And I think I might have nominated it here. And I just there's nothing you can say bad about it.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

Yeah, listen, uh I obviously my nomination was the mummy, but when we think of the winner being Get Out, um it it it was such a it was such a cool and refreshing take on like a possession movie, if you will. It it just was it it deserves this spot for sure. I'm not gonna discredit the film at all. It was a great film.

SPEAKER_02 15:35

Yeah, it was a moment hard to deny.

SPEAKER_05 15:37

Well, we've talked about the best in show, but now, unfortunately, it's time to acknowledge some of the darker moments of our year. On to the hacks with our first category.

SPEAKER_08 15:47

Oh, the stalk of shame in the category of worst antagonist. The nominees are Toxic Friendships from Bodies Bodies Bodies, 2022, Andy from Sorority Row, 2009, Rabies from Kujo, 1983, Molly from Death Them, 2022, and The Tooth Fairy from Darkness Falls 2003. And the winner for the 2022 worst antagonist is Toxic Friendships from Bodies Bodies Bodies.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

Hell yeah, that was my nomination. It did suck. Could totally tell you did that. It'll do it. The way nobody actually died in that movie for any real reason really sucked. It's the toxicity of people.

SPEAKER_08 16:25

Yeah, it did kind of like it was kind of satisfying in a way. When you get to the end and you're just like, people suck, and and thus I enjoyed this.

SPEAKER_05 16:33

Let's move right past that mess and into our worst survivor.

SPEAKER_04 16:36

In the category of worst survivor, the nominees are Lila, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 2022, Marsha, Sleepaway Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989, Kyle, Darkness Falls, 2003, Frank, The Mummy, 1932, and Guy Woodhouse, Rosemary's Baby, 1968. And the winner for the 2022 Worst Survivor is Lila, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 2022. Yeah, because that movie sucked. Yeah, I truly couldn't fucking stand her. I also cannot stand her with a fiery passion. I did not nominate her, but man was I happy to see her face on there. Again, that was me. You're welcome.

SPEAKER_05 17:24

Doing the work of the people.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

The voice of the people.

SPEAKER_05 17:26

Well, let's go ahead and get on to the folks who didn't make it out.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

So in the category of worst kill, the nominees are The Clown Cafe Massacre as a whole, Terrifier 2, 2022, The Shark, Jaws 3D, 1983, Michael Myers, Halloween Ends, 2022. Herman and Jan Sleepaway Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989. All of them, Darkness Falls, 2003. And the winner for the 2022 Worst Kill is The Shark from Jaws 3D 1983.

SPEAKER_05 18:10

Let's go. Let's go. That's me. That's me taking that win.

SPEAKER_07 18:13

Let's go.

SPEAKER_05 18:13

You don't like it blowing up? I would like to acknowledge I'd like to clarify something, Ryan. Was it the worst execution of a death, or like the worst death is in the shark didn't deserve to go and someone else did? Is that what we were going based on? No, I'm just open to your interpretation, right? It can go either way. I just wonder what you think.

SPEAKER_02 18:31

Oh, I'm going on the worst kill I've ever seen on screen, for sure. Did you watch the Tooth Fairy movie?

SPEAKER_08 18:36

See, I I thought like a lazy kill would have it would have been that.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

That's fine. But I mean Clown Cafe, the idea is it's an unnecessary kill, you know? I don't know. Close enough. Halloween ends. The Michael Myers kill was lock luster, you know, a little limp biscuit. I feel like I I feel like I picked a good one, the shark from Jaws 3D. Rest in peace.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

Well, the people have spoken, so you must have picked a good one.

SPEAKER_05 18:57

On that Jaws 3D episode, there was all the talk of the cocaine, there was all the talk of the original being better. So let's move on to our next category.

SPEAKER_06 19:06

And we have least improved franchise. In the category of least improved franchise, the nominees are Halloween Ends 2022. Sleepaway Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 2022. A Nightmare on Elm Street 4, the Dream Master, 1988. The winner for the 2022 Least Improved franchise is Sleepaway Cam 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989. Well deserved.

SPEAKER_05 19:40

Yeah, let me be clear. I with the one with the Michael Myers tattoo did nominate Halloween Ends. However, Sleepaway Camp 3 was a way worse movie.

SPEAKER_02 19:49

Unfortunately, it was so bad that it tried to like sweep several of these categories. I do feel the Halloween N's vibes, but uh it's definitely sleepaway camp. It was so bad.

SPEAKER_08 19:58

I don't like I think Paris liked it, right? But like I think the whole the whole idea with this is did you not improve, right? Like, did you get like if you got worse, that's bad.

SPEAKER_06 20:07

It got worse. It got worse.

SPEAKER_08 20:09

Yeah, and I and I think that's where it is. It's like some of these, some of these just didn't get better. I think this one was like, nah, let's let's take it down a notch.

SPEAKER_06 20:15

Yeah, Paris just likes half-naked campers.

SPEAKER_05 20:19

Well, speaking of taking things down a notch, let's move on to our next category, which is a little bit of a bummer.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

So, in the category of the most disappointing ending, the nominees are Barbarian 2022, Terrifier 2022, Urban Legend 1998, The Blair Witch Project 1999, and sorority row from 2009. The winner for 2022 most disappointing ending is Barbarian. Thank you, Jesus.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

I second that. I second that.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yes, 100%.

SPEAKER_05 20:56

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 20:57

Okay, we're not gonna get into it.

SPEAKER_05 20:58

Let's not get into it. We're getting into it. Barbarian was the first of its kind, but let's move on to our next category.

SPEAKER_04 21:06

Alright, for worst sequel or remake, the nominees are Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022, Sleep Away Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989, and The Monsters 2022. The winner for the 2022 worst sequel or remake is Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022. That was the only correct answer. That is the correct answer.

SPEAKER_06 21:34

I would not say well deserved.

SPEAKER_05 21:36

Teenage Wasteland, I think, is a worst movie overall because of how offensive it is, but no, for sure, like worst remake or sequel. Yeah, no. I mean, like, when you think about the more prominent, no one gives enough of a fuck about Sleep Away Camp 3 for it to be considered the worst. Well, there was a number of things wrong with Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 2022, but let's see if it Earns itself a nomination in our next category.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

In the category of worst plot, the nominees are Slepaway Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989. Man, this one's really getting a lot of uh heat. Barbarian 2022, Tremors, 1990, Bunyman, 2011, The Blair Witch Project, 1999, and the winner for the 2022 worst plot is Bunyman 2011.

SPEAKER_08 22:34

This is such an easy pick because you could literally put it for any category and it would have won.

SPEAKER_06 22:38

Yeah. I'm really sorry I made you guys all watch that, yet I wasn't on that episode.

unknown 22:43

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

But really importantly, second to Bunyman was Barbarian. Yep.

unknown 22:49

Yep.

SPEAKER_08 22:51

But it didn't have a bad plot.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

It was a horrible plot. The plot was three separate plots. And they barely came together.

SPEAKER_00 22:57

It just wasn't it wasn't done well. But Bunyman was terrible.

SPEAKER_05 23:01

It absolutely was. But let's see if Bunny Man can score repeat in our next category.

SPEAKER_06 23:06

Worst movie of the year. Dun dun dun. In the category of worst movie of the year, the nominees are Bunyman 2011, The Blair Witch Project, 1999, The Loved Ones, 2009, Jaws 3D, 1983, and sadly the Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022. The winner of the 2022 worst movie of the year is Bunyman 2011.

SPEAKER_05 23:38

We knew what we were doing.

SPEAKER_06 23:39

I can't believe The Loved Ones was nominated here. Or Jaws 3D?

SPEAKER_05 23:43

Yeah, or that.

SPEAKER_08 23:44

Yeah, I'll agree. That's surprising for worst movie. Oh, but I think Bunny Man is has earned this heavily. For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_04 23:53

Yeah, that was for sure a given.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

You know what's really unsurprising was the nomination for the Blair Witch Project. And I unfortunately was not on that episode. And I just need to take a moment here to tell you guys about how the Blair Witch Project is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my entire existence. Maybe like top 10 worst movies ever. Okay. Nothing happens. It's all in the dark. It's all made up. I hate it so much. I'm sorry I wasn't here to yell about my hack for it, my passionate hack, but I just want to make it clear right now. I was the one that nominated that. I hate Blair Witch, and I hate that y'all got y'all, y'all should have voted for it. It is the worst movie. It's worse than everything else. I don't know if it's worse than Bunny Man. I'm not gonna lie. But yeah. What about okay, this and the mean one? It's not worse than Bunny Man or Mean One, but I but those are not real movies, okay?

SPEAKER_04 24:45

That's not even cinema.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

The Blair Witch Project is a movie that people care about and enjoy. And I just need to tell you that if you like it, you're wrong and it sucks. There's some nostalgia around it, but okay. That's the problem. I was not at the right age. Like we've talked about many times. There's a certain age you need to be at for some movies. I wasn't at that age for this movie. And when I saw it, I was like, what is this? It's literally a shaky camera, bruh.

SPEAKER_00 25:07

It was so innovative for its time.

SPEAKER_02 25:10

It was so bad for its time, for now, for all the times.

SPEAKER_08 25:14

I could have agreed, but I just I just know that bunny man is worse.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

I agree.

SPEAKER_08 25:18

You know, so I couldn't pick I couldn't like like I could how could I choose Blair Witch when we've seen a man in a bunny costume? You know?

SPEAKER_04 25:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 25:26

Pretty soon we're gonna like we're gonna find out if Bud and Honey is uh, you know, relevant to animal costumed killers. We're gonna see. I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 25:34

Well, now that our fire hot takes are out of the way, let's move into some more fun awards with our first category didn't need to see nip.

SPEAKER_02 25:44

So for this year's most unnecessary nudity, the nominees are Trash from The Return of the Living Dead, 1985, Pearl from X 2022, and The Mother from Barbarian 2022. And unsurprisingly, the winner for 2022's most unnecessary nudity is that teat from Barbarian 2022. That that milk jug from Barbarian.

SPEAKER_05 26:12

Not the hairy teat. Not the teat. The hairy teat.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

Not the little nose boop. Teat. There was a teat and a boop, okay? Two things that didn't need to happen on screen. Yeah. I do need to just I just need to defend. Trash was the most necessary nudity. Okay, that was 10 out of 10 nudity. Why did someone nominate this? And I, Chris, I feel like it was you.

SPEAKER_05 26:34

Yes, everyone else voted for the mother, so I had to be different. Even though I went first. Even though I went first.

SPEAKER_04 26:41

Had to be different, but I was first. Okay, make it make sense.

SPEAKER_05 26:45

Well, let's travel a little further north for our next category: Wiggiest Wig.

SPEAKER_08 26:49

In the category of Wiggiest Wig, the nominees are Angela, Slepaway Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland, 1989, Carla in the Birthday Party, Double X, 2017, Sarah Bailey, The Craft, 1996, and Mr. Slausen from Tourist Trap 1979, the winner for 2022's Wiggiest Wig is Angela from Slepaway Camp 3, Teenage Wasteland 1989. And honestly, I gotta say that Paris would probably be so upset by this.

SPEAKER_05 27:16

Honestly, it was a fucking mullet wig. How could you be upset with that? That is the worst wig in the fucking wig. Like, I I thought trash from the Return of Living Dead was gonna have the wiggiest wig because it was so obviously a wig, and obviously it was like bright orange and kind of cool. Because this isn't like an uh this isn't like a negative award, right? But Angela and her mullet wig?

SPEAKER_02 27:37

No. I'm sorry, this is a negative award. How is this not? The the wiggiest wig is in fact a negative award. Like you don't want us to know you have a wig on. That's not the point.

SPEAKER_05 27:48

It's whatever you want it to be. Obviously, Trash wanted you to know she had a wig.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

And it was a prominent wig. Yeah, yeah, but Trash's wig was hot. Okay, we were into it. That's why she didn't win.

SPEAKER_04 27:58

We forgave the wig. We forgave it.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Like we're into the wig.

SPEAKER_05 28:01

And on to our next category for biggest surprise.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

So, in the category of biggest surprise, the nominees are The Munsters 2022, X, 2022, Bodies Bodies Bodies 2022, The Witch 2015, Peeping Tom, 1960. And rightfully so, the winner for 2022's biggest surprise is The Munsters 2022.

SPEAKER_05 28:33

Honestly, no matter how you cut it, because I really thought that shit was gonna be terrible and I loved it.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

And I think a lot of our chat is saying X, and I would agree with X, but I think The Munsters was surprising in being good, but X was literally the most surprising movie me and Alexis have ever watched together ever in our entire lives. I was gonna add that to the beginning of the episode. That we watched porn together.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

Yeah, X was surprising, but the difference is that we all figured like may remaking something as classic as The Munsters was just gonna be very difficult to do and could have been easily trash, and it wasn't.

SPEAKER_02 29:08

Yes, I'd I I'm not mad at it, but uh I I understand the the push for X from uh a couple people in the chat as well.

SPEAKER_05 29:15

Well, speaking of pushing things, let's consider the films that maybe uh weren't so great, but we still had fun with.

SPEAKER_06 29:22

In the category of guilty pleasure, the nominees are The Musical Moment from They Them 2022, The Skeleton Key 2005, Jaws 3D, 1983, A Nightmare on Elm Street 4, The Dream Master, 1988, Resident Evil 2002, and Child's Play 3, 1991. The winner for 2022's Guilty Pleasure is Resident Evil 2002. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

I nominated this one and I have zero regrets.

SPEAKER_06 29:58

I agree. I got COVID and watched them all, and I do not regret that ever. Do I own every single one on DVD? Maybe. Love it. Nice.

SPEAKER_04 30:07

Maybe.

SPEAKER_08 30:08

I don't know if this is right to put this in guilty pleasure because do you feel guilty about it? I don't feel guilty about it. It's just a pleasure.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

Oh, well, thanks. I feel like I get a lot of I get a lot of heat for saying that I like this movie so much, maybe from other people, you know, like they're like really that movie's kind of yikes. Telling telling of the time, right? It's a little cheesy when it shouldn't. And I think it's because of the franchise, like the gaming franchise and what it is. So the adaptation of that to this movie, I think, is what makes it a guilty pleasure. At least that's how I interpreted it.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

But honestly, I wish I had seen it because I still haven't. Ooh, it's good. Oh, you didn't watch my pick. You're a master of your domain. You can watch it anytime.

SPEAKER_05 30:47

I still personally still live for the musical moment from They Slash Them as a guilty pleasure because I am feeling guilty about it. Because it's horrible.

SPEAKER_04 30:54

I mean, and that you should feel. That was that was a lot.

SPEAKER_05 30:58

Listen, sometimes the levels of guilt I feel are things that only a mother could love. And that brings us to our next category.

SPEAKER_04 31:04

So in the category of best mom, the nominees are Sidney Prescott, Scream, 2022, Rachel Creed, Pet Cemetery, 1989, Rachel, The Ring, 2002, Amanda from Uma, 2022, Lucy, The Lost Boys, 1987, and the winner in our 2022 Mom of the Year is Sydney Prescott Scream 2022.

SPEAKER_05 31:36

Shout out to Mac nominating the mom he wanted to date.

SPEAKER_08 31:39

Well, you know, I'm just saying, you know, back in the day, just kind of smoking.

SPEAKER_05 31:44

You know, Sydney Prescott really was only moming for like five seconds in that whole fucking movie, but good for her. We had to sneak her in somewhere. And while last year we had uh a mommy dearest award, this year it's time for the flip for our next category.

SPEAKER_08 31:58

In the category of worst dad, the nominees are The Father from The Blackphone 2022, Frank from Barbarian 2022, Dean from Get Out 2017, Lewis Creed, Pet Cemetery, 1989, The Father in The Lodge 2019, and Richard Morgan from The Ring 2002. The winner in our 2022 Trash Dad of the Year is Frank from Barbarian 2022.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

No contest appropriate.

SPEAKER_08 32:26

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Yeah. Just the fact that we even have to call him a dad sucks, really, honestly.

SPEAKER_08 32:31

Yeah, it does seem like he doesn't deserve that title.

SPEAKER_02 32:33

No, he just he just deserves Trash Human of the Year.

SPEAKER_08 32:36

For next year, we should just have a human dumpster fire category.

SPEAKER_05 32:39

Okay. Making the note now. Uh, can you put that in a comment on our Notion page? Thanks. Well, now it's time for us to do a little bit of reflection on our own scorings for these films. First up, retract the hack. If you could go back and alter one of your hacks, which would it be?

SPEAKER_02 32:57

I personally feel confident in all my hacks. I feel like I I made the right decision in all of them. I reviewed them all, but the choices still stand. They're still hacks. I agree with you.

SPEAKER_05 33:08

My hacks are still hacks. However, what I will acknowledge is the hack that's closest to being a slash, and that is Cujo from 1983.

SPEAKER_06 33:16

I see where you guys are coming from. And I was going back and looking at everything I hacked, and I was like, nah. Maybe the howling just from what everyone said about the episode, I'm like, okay, I guess I could maybe retract that.

SPEAKER_08 33:28

I had to think about this for a minute because typically I don't like to retract anything or rehash anything, but I I wanted to participate this year. Um so I chose XX from 2017 because I feel like I was a little bit unfair to it. Um I think it actually like has stuck in my mind since watching it. Like I remember a good bit of it, and so I've got to give it some credit that it's it's probably it's probably not an actual hack, and I think it's more Mac than hack. Yeah that's the problem here.

SPEAKER_05 33:53

And that's a true feminist Mac. What an ally.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Uh, you know, uh I haven't been on a lot of episodes uh this year, but uh I gotta say uh we recently reviewed Freaky not that long ago, and uh I was probably a little bit harsh on that film. I maybe I wasn't in the right mindset for the film. Uh, you know, I I do, you know, looking back on it, um, I do feel like, you know, it did a good job paying homage to a lot of things, and it was still a fun time. And so I think if I had to retract a hack, I think that that film deserves it.

SPEAKER_04 34:26

Wow. Yes, Vince Vaughn. Not the sinister last. I obviously have not been in many episodes at all, not even a handful, but I will say um that I definitely listened to a lot of the episodes from this year, and I was looking at Joe's nominations and I was thinking of like what I would what I would have hacked or what I would have slashed, right? And I think we've probably talked about a few already today, but like obviously Texas Chainsaw Massacre would have hacked. And to your earlier rant, Ryan, and this might upset a few of our listeners, but Blair Witch Project for sure was a hack. That's my dog. Um, yeah, it was a hack for me. So that's my dog. I was just thinking about how can I participate, considering that I've, you know, I stand by my decision so far. And those are the two that I would have hacked.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

Oof. Binx, I appreciate you so much.

SPEAKER_05 35:13

Not the immediate bonding. Well, let's go ahead and consider the other side of things. What about rehashing the slash? If you could go back and alter one of your slashes, which would it be?

SPEAKER_08 35:23

I'm not taking any credit away from any of the movies I gave a slash.

SPEAKER_06 35:26

Well, I totally will because I uh did not like the lodge, I like the atmosphere, and I think that's why I gave it a slash.

SPEAKER_02 35:33

But why are what is it about it that makes you go back on it?

SPEAKER_06 35:37

Because I still don't get the movie. Like I still don't understand it at all.

SPEAKER_05 35:41

Kids are shitty, dad is shitty, people are shitty, that girl deserved better.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

I think you just need to watch it again in a more uh more attention-heavy circumstance. It's so good. The adult women in that movie deserved better. It's enjoyable. I think you would enjoy it, but it's fine.

SPEAKER_06 35:59

I mean, I didn't obviously enjoy it the first time. Yeah, but now you're rehashing it. I had to pick something. I'm not like y'all. I didn't say well, I wouldn't. So I went back and I was like, all right, I had to pick something.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

Well, don't worry. I did pick something, and I picked this in the episode that the slash that I regret is terrifier too. What was I thinking? Most importantly, that post-credit scene. First off, why do they exist? Second, why did they do that? There's no reason for them to do that. That's a hack, bruh. That's a hack.

SPEAKER_00 36:26

Not the post-credit scene rant again.

SPEAKER_02 36:29

I'm done. You almost never have to hear it again.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

I'm so sad because there's definitely a photo of the shock that we all had when you slashed it. And when you found out about the post-credit scene, I was like, I know this is gonna come back to bite me in the ass.

SPEAKER_02 36:44

It's bad. Why what what was birthed? What was birthed? Make it make sense.

SPEAKER_08 36:50

So look, I'm not gonna watch the movie, but you talking about it makes me want to watch the movie. Just so I can understand the uh, you know, the the context here, but I don't, I really I truly, I truly don't want to watch it. You don't need to.

SPEAKER_02 37:03

You could just watch the post-credit scene and get enough to be like, what?

SPEAKER_06 37:07

I didn't know there was one. So I'm gonna go back now.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

It's okay. I didn't either when I started reviewing it.

SPEAKER_04 37:12

Now I'm almost like, don't watch the post-credit scene, don't do it, don't do it.

SPEAKER_08 37:16

Okay, I I'll probably I probably won't. I don't have time in my life for that. No, you should.

SPEAKER_02 37:19

It's like two minutes, you should.

SPEAKER_05 37:21

Look, again, I regret nothing about my slashes. I reviewed every single one of them and still stand behind them, even Texas Chainsaw Massacre upon further inspection, because I fucking do not like The Survivor, yes. A lot of the movie, silly as fuck, yes. But also The Bussing, Chef's Kiss. When I think about seeing Bunny Man this year and the mean one this year, Texas Chainsaw is doing just fine. But I think my weakest slash was Darkness Falls 2003.

SPEAKER_00 37:49

Oh. Really? Would that have made wait, did anyone else slash that film?

SPEAKER_05 37:54

No, it was just me. And uh, to be clear, it's still a slash, it's just not the strongest one I've done. It was a rough one.

SPEAKER_02 38:01

It didn't deserve it. It deserved a universal hack.

SPEAKER_00 38:04

You know, I gotta be the one to say this, but and I wasn't on this episode, so it may not be fair, but as I was watching this movie, as I was listening to this episode, uh, I gotta say that at first my my initial thoughts were maybe because of my love for the franchise that I would have slashed Halloween ends. Um, but uh after revisiting it and rethinking it uh and letting it simmer, uh, I really don't think it deserves a slash. I think it really wasn't a great wrap-up to the entire franchise when you're thinking of ending everything. And uh I listen, I just uh I wasn't uh I wasn't impressed and it was lackluster and it wasn't what I was expecting. So if I did slash that film legitimately, it would have been one that I regretted.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

I I can hear where you're coming from. I'm not mad at it. I I feel like I appreciate everyone's experience with Halloween ends. I feel like everyone has a valid opinion. It is both good and bad in both things.

SPEAKER_00 39:04

Sorry, Chris.

SPEAKER_05 39:04

Don't be sorry. I 100% agree with the idea that it is not the wrap-up to 40 years of history that we deserve. However, I will say the audiobook, the novelization of Halloween Ends actually redeems it quite a bit. I trust you. Well, now that we've considered correcting our past mistakes, let's move on to the true Slasher's Choice Awards, Mac.

SPEAKER_08 39:29

Now, our patrons nominated 23 episodes. They felt best represented our show this year. It was a tight race, but the top three episodes were Terrifier 2 from 2022, Scream 2022, and X 2022.

SPEAKER_05 39:43

May I just say a few observations here? One, Terrifier 2, Pinks' debut, Scream, it was just me in Paris. X, what a time. I think that was all of us except for Mac.

SPEAKER_08 39:56

But I did watch it, of course, before we did Pearl. So I did catch up.

SPEAKER_06 40:01

Remember when we thought he had watched this? We thought he had watched X. And we were like, what is he gonna think?

SPEAKER_02 40:07

Mac is gonna be traumatized by this.

SPEAKER_08 40:09

But I I was not traumatized. Okay, so the winner of the Patron's Choice Award for Best Episode of the Year is Episode 206, X, from 2022. And I'm and I'm bummed that I wasn't honest because I actually I think I mentioned in the episode for Pearl that I actually really enjoyed both films, and I would have probably I probably would have had a lot of say on that episode.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

I deeply agree. The only episode that I think might have been a little better is Terrifier, but it was a rewind, it's complicated. The original Terrifier re when we revisited it was really good. But honestly, X is one of those movies this year that just hits different, and it's so good, and I feel like our conversation was so good, and the shock and horror of it in a good way was amazing.

SPEAKER_05 40:53

Let me also just say that uh Sean's debut episode, The Monsters, did get several votes, as in Binks' debut episode with Terrifier for the rewind did get several votes.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

That rewind was a good one.

SPEAKER_05 41:04

People enjoy y'all.

SPEAKER_08 41:05

We covered 15 films this year that were freshly released, and our patrons voted for the ones they enjoyed the most. The top four new releases were X from 2022, Scream, also 2022, Barbarian, again, 2022, and The Black Phone 2022. The winner of the Patrons Choice Award for the 2022 best new release is once again X 2022.

SPEAKER_01 41:26

Wow. Nice.

SPEAKER_07 41:27

Nice.

SPEAKER_02 41:27

X is really out here having a moment. It is, and it's also, I feel like part of the magic is again, I feel like a shame to recommend it to people, but at the same time, I'm like, you should really watch this.

SPEAKER_06 41:37

I do remember watching it with you and not knowing what we were watching, and then going to my boyfriend, being like, I watched tits. I think it was a homemade porno. We watched porno. We gotta watch it though.

SPEAKER_05 41:48

We we got to watch it though. The new canon is that Ryan is quitting the show because she watched the main one, but the other side of this is Alexis is quitting the show because we made her watch porn in the theater with Ryan. True.

SPEAKER_02 42:01

But we had a great time. Do we eat a lot of popcorn? Oh, yeah, I ate all your popcorn. I I was dip it in your bucket, okay?

SPEAKER_08 42:11

Oh. How could you not dip in someone's bucket on purpose, though? You know?

SPEAKER_05 42:16

Lots of reasons. Well, look, we've talked about a lot of movies this year, more than 50 of them to be precise, but there's some solid horror out there that we didn't cover. So now it's time for honorable mentions. And I'd like to kick things off with considering Prey 2022. This one was nominated by one of our patrons. I watched it when it came out on Hulu, and I'm so bummed it hadn't it hasn't won a patron pick yet because this movie is breathtaking. It's beautiful, it's artisanal in some ways, and fuck, it just really sunk me right back into Predator.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

Yes, and I want to confirm that watching this, I was so unprepared for how beautiful it is, and also how lovely the cast is. I feel like Prey is one of those movies that really, really, really should have been in theaters. It's really sad that it wasn't. So you should go watch it for however you can find it, whatever you have to do. I uh it was on Hulu, I assume it still is, but you should watch this movie, even if you don't care about Predator.

SPEAKER_06 43:15

Yeah, I totally agree. As soon as I saw Chris, you know, talk about it, I'm like, I gotta go watch this. And then I told my stepdad, you know, who loves all the alien predator movies. I'm like, you gotta watch it. I still stand on this, and I know this is so fucking annoying for everyone listening who's heard about this for months now, because I know no one has watched this still. And Chris, I'm still fucking pissed you haven't seen it yet. But um, Incantation 2022.

SPEAKER_05 43:40

What time? What time do I have? I will put it on the lineup next year and I'll get back to you. I'll send you a link when we review it. I trust you that it's good.

SPEAKER_06 43:48

Okay, yes, bring me back for the incantation because I would really appreciate that. Ooh, Ashley didn't like it.

SPEAKER_05 43:54

Okay, so next year when we get to resurrect Alexis for one episode, it's gonna be incantation. Love it. Say last.

SPEAKER_08 44:04

Return of the Living Alexis.

SPEAKER_06 44:05

Wait, has anyone seen it though? No.

SPEAKER_08 44:07

No.

SPEAKER_05 44:08

This is a classic case of stop trying to make incantation happen. It was so good.

SPEAKER_08 44:14

It just sounds too close to Encanto.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

Trigger it doesn't. It does, but it doesn't.

SPEAKER_08 44:20

I think uh I've mentioned this before, but um I really enjoyed watching there's someone inside your house with Chris and my wife like just hanging out on a lazy night. We had some some good pasta. It was a TikTok recipe rhyme, whatever, shut up, it's delicious. Um but it was just like a lot of fun because it's it's a slasher, but it's a modern version of the slasher, but it like follows the formula pretty closely of some other films. I just I just think like we sat there talking during the movie, so some of you might hate that, but it was it was just a lot of fun to have Chris in my house while we did that.

SPEAKER_05 44:54

Oh, thank you so much. I love that. And I can say confidently that some of my favorite movie nights this year have been eating pasta in someone's house and watching a movie with them.

SPEAKER_00 45:02

You know, it was tough for me to decide on an honorable mention. Uh I think of, you know, if I'm just being true to myself, uh, maybe it's not one, maybe I missed the memo, maybe it's not one that I necessarily watch this year, but it's one that I really want to get this podcast to watch collectively. And that's The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari from 1920. Uh I think that film is uh amazing. It's demented, it's dark, it's twisted. Um, so I'm hoping we can get that in the lineup one of these days.

SPEAKER_04 45:33

Nice. Sounds good. For me, I think of this year and movies that I've seen, and one that I know a lot of people have talked about, whether they're into horror or not, and it's smile. Man, talk about marketing for this movie. I even my parents were talking about the marketing tactics that they were using to promote this film with the sports games and having people just creepy smile in the crowds. I oh no, I just can't have someone smiling at me. I I it's not the same. Never the same.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

Not for nothing, though that movie really gave like like 2010 horror, 2013 horror, and the faces are creepy, okay? I I I wouldn't say I was like, you know, completely in love with the movie, but having watched it afterwards, I didn't want to look at myself in the mirror because I was like, what if I just start smiling in the mirror? You know, you know, I think mirrors are creepy as it is, y'all know this, but uh the the smile in the mirror thing, very uncomfortable. Also, Chris, your smile is not creepy enough right now. Yeah, there you go. You gotta hit the like, you gotta hit the full smile to be as creepy as that movie was.

SPEAKER_04 46:46

Or it's just giving art.

SPEAKER_08 46:49

Can I get a Mac version of that film that's just called Smirk?

SPEAKER_00 46:52

That's my style. I'm actually surprised Smile didn't get into the lineup.

SPEAKER_05 46:56

Listen, Smile came out at a time when there's so many new releases, and also I was dealing with so much to try to organize that.

SPEAKER_01 47:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 47:03

Fair that was that was a time. Someone something had to go, and it was Smile.

SPEAKER_02 47:07

I just feel like Smile gave very like um predictable horror. Like nothing about Smile was like revolutionary, right? It wasn't the worst thing I've ever seen. It wasn't the best thing we've ever seen, but it was definitely like uh it followed a formula of of a horror type. And that that's fine. It is what it is. And I, you know, when something's marketed that way, I kind of don't expect anything different.

SPEAKER_04 47:30

The movie just reminded me a lot of like The Ring, you know, or It Follows, you know, like that kind of thing. That kind of framework. If anything, what surprised what I thought was very cool was just the things outside of the movie itself, the marketing, how it was discussed, like all the other conversations, it's it kind of like stirred up in terms of like, oh, you know, it has a lot of like mental health, you know, aspects to it and stuff.

SPEAKER_05 47:55

Thought it was interesting. I just have to really slip in one last dishonorable mention to the mean one 2022, which we did not review in time for me to officially nominate it for anything, but fuck that movie was bad. Bruh.

SPEAKER_04 48:09

I'm telling you, I cannot wait for everyone to hear that episode because my oh my or Yahoo Dory, huh?

SPEAKER_02 48:17

Yahoo Dory, that's for sure. As someone who loves the Grinch, it was Did it ruin it for me? One of the roughest experiences. And no, no, no, it would never ruin the Grinch. But if you I think Sean said it best, very few things have made me want to leave a theater. But that but if you can watch it for free, it's different.

SPEAKER_05 48:37

Well, look, we've talked about some highs, we've talked about some lows, but it's time now to step away from the podcast, step away from horror, and think about just our lives with a little bit of human time. What's a positive personal thing that's happened to you this year?

SPEAKER_00 48:51

I can kick us off. I moved out here it's been it's been a little over a year ago, but when I moved out here, I had a goal because I wasn't where I wanted to be career-wise, and I had a goal that I was gonna get to manager at the place that I work in 12 months, and I achieved that goal in almost exactly 12 months to the day, which is fucking odd.

SPEAKER_05 49:15

Wow. Wow, that's awesome though. So proud of you, man. Not easy to do. You came down here ready for that shit. So I'm so happy that it finally happened for you.

SPEAKER_00 49:23

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_08 49:24

I I don't think it's I don't think that's weird or odd or anything. I think that just shows you had some drive, you know, like you you were determined. And that's that's like I think it's probably a weird feeling because not often do we get to do that. Do we get to like set a lofty goal and then like achieve it?

SPEAKER_01 49:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 49:38

I also love that, Sean, because you have the same feeling now that I shared in Human Time on last year's episode. And that's a very special feeling. Congratulations, man.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Oh, that's awesome. Yeah, thank you. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

I feel like I don't have like one thing that I can say from this year, but overall, my general feeling from this year is that I've had a ton of like growth and confidence in what I'm doing. You guys probably know that I do a lot of things and I kind of just like do stuff. And this year has been one where I feel really solid in what I'm doing and where I'm going and my plans and everything. And I, you know, we're probably moving on to a very different life in May of next year. So I'm just kind of trying to prepare for that. But it's been a really um, a really cool year without any specifics, except that uh I did quit a job that was making me really miserable and I'm poor, but it's great. I'm really happy about it. Can we also talk about the fact that you're gonna be in a gallery? I am. I have a sculpture that's uh gonna be in a gallery in the new year.

SPEAKER_06 50:39

Is this the one you have the all the um It's my uterus? Okay, yes. I didn't want to go there, but yes, I want to say that.

SPEAKER_02 50:46

So uh not my personal Not my personal uterus. Her actual uterus is on this fight. Not the uterus inside of me, but I have a uterus that's outside of me and um it also sounds weird. What the fuck? It's uh it's a cool sculpture that's gonna be in uh in the gallery window, and um yeah, it's really cool because it'll be one of the very few times that people just get to stare at my artwork, which is weird, really, really freaking weird. You missed an opportunity to say stare at your uterus. People will be staring at my uterus, and I signed the contract while I was on my period, which felt appropriate. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 51:25

Love that energy. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 51:27

No one no one needed to know that, but it's an important detail. It feels so appropriate because I was like, Oh, I got cramps. Let me sign my name for you to take. Love it.

SPEAKER_05 51:35

It's called not a feminist, just a woman. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 51:38

Yeah, so um, for me, I've I've had quite the year. I um this year's theme has definitely been healing. Um, and so one of the things that stands out to me that I thought was like a very big achievement was I went to Europe for the first time with my friends um for 17 days. And the trip in and of itself was just very symbolic for me. I've always dreamt of going to Europe, had a lot of fears and things that were holding me back from going. And so, and it was also during a time that was going to be especially hard. So, yeah, I had such an amazing time. I went to five different countries, lots of photos and swimming in the sea, and oh gosh, lots of charcuterie. Such a vibe. That sounds so lovely. I'm so jealous.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

Yeah, I had a blast. Yeah, that's amazing.

SPEAKER_05 52:25

Uh, I love that for you so much, Binks. I remember going overseas for the first time recreationally, uh, after a pretty significant change in my life. And I think my trip wasn't anywhere near as fun as yours, but there's something to be said about making memories and taking a chance and doing something you've always wanted to do. So I love that for you.

SPEAKER_04 52:44

For sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_06 52:45

Yeah, I don't know if I'd say this year has been healing for me, uh per se. It's definitely um just a year that I've just been myself, which is hard to say without crying, which is healing, okay? Which is healing. Okay, Queen.

SPEAKER_02 52:59

Okay, Queen, let's go. Come on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:02

Yeah. So I don't know. This year just put some things in front of me that I'm like, all right, this is the time to just be myself, make my own decisions, which you'd think would come naturally to some people, and some it doesn't. So just have had some opportunities to do that, just leading me down a weird path, which I don't know where it's going. But you know what? I'm just on the ride of life right now.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

Not weird, normal.

SPEAKER_06 53:23

It's it's a weird feeling when you're a Capricorn and you gotta have your life fucking thought out for the next five years.

SPEAKER_04 53:29

Earth sign energy, earth sign energy. I feel that. I get I get you.

SPEAKER_05 53:33

I think it's probably less weird and more so just unfamiliar and foreign to you, despite how positive it is.

SPEAKER_06 53:40

Yes, I agree with that. I do agree with that. There's not much more to that. I've I I really got into yoga this year, and that has been physically um very uplifting and very mentally. And I just found a new yoga studio that I'm obsessed with and that has just an owner that can come in and cry during her class and be super vulnerable. And I'm like, I appreciate that. Nice. Yep. So yeah, there we go. Let me know when it is.

SPEAKER_08 54:08

I think um I don't know if if if a ton of crazy stuff or interesting stuff in this show has happened like to compare, but you know, life's not about comparisons. I think it's been it's been an interesting year for sure. You know, we hit our year anniversary, my wife and I, which was which was great. We're now headed towards our second year very soon. It's gonna be here before we know it. Um, my my dog, um, it's it's weird to think about this, but my dog that has been such an integral part of our lives, we have only had her for like a year and a couple months now, barely. And it was so weird to realize that we hit the point where, oh my gosh, we adopted her a year ago at Thanksgiving. And it's and it's you know, it's the end of the year. It's weird to imagine that.

SPEAKER_02 54:49

Literally the love of my aunt.

SPEAKER_08 54:51

She is so adorable. She has grown and changed so much. But um, you know, like work stuff is work stuff for me this year, nothing super new or crazy to uh to announce for work. You know, it's it's been a lot of work, missing family, missing a lot of family time, trying to soak it up, you know, as you can, which is which is always really nice. I think next year, hopefully should be better in that regard. I think we're planning a trip as like a delayed honeymoon next month. And so that's gonna be uh hopefully, I mean, a really amazing time.

SPEAKER_06 55:21

Puerto Rico. I hate to be. Oh yeah. Yeah. I hate to be this person because I don't like when people pressure other people into stages of lives. But is there gonna hacker slash baby?

SPEAKER_08 55:31

You know, you never know. I'll that's all I can say. If you don't know we are we're obvious obviously open to the to the possibility. You just in your 30s and your late 30s specifically, you just don't know what can or will happen. I'll say that.

SPEAKER_05 55:44

It's true. I need you to know that I already have a hacker slash onesie designed. I love that so much. It has your face on it back.

SPEAKER_08 55:51

Well, if I do my job right, if we get to that stage, if that does happen for us, if I do my job right, the kid will be a sci-fi fan. So you never know. You never know what spin-off uh will happen.

SPEAKER_05 56:01

Great. When I'm 80 and still making this show, your kid is welcome on it.

SPEAKER_08 56:04

I love that.

SPEAKER_05 56:05

This has been such a tremendous year, and uh obviously there's been a lot that's happened for the show itself, but I think for me personally, something that I was able to do that I've never been able to do was take a vacation for myself. So all my time away has always been to do something, to care for someone, to go take care of something, or it's been to spend time in a place that maybe someone I was dating really wanted to be. But I finally took like two and a half weeks off of work and just fucking vibed. It was amazing. Like being in Mac's house, fantastic. Hanging out with Ryan, great. I got hit on in the five guys. What the fuck is that about? You know, you're living life dangerously. I got to go to fucking trivia night and I met Binks for the first time. It was a great season in my life. And I think in addition to that, right, like because of that moment I had in human time last year of like finally getting this promotion, this year I was able to pay off a tremendous amount of debt. And I now have AC for the first time in three years. It's great. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 57:07

Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:08

I am so proud of you for taking a vacation. Honestly, as long as I've known you, every, you know, you know me, I'm a girl that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go take a trip by myself or whatever. I'm like, Chris, you really need this. You really need a vacation. You need to just do something, like do stuff that you want to do, not care about other people, not go do something for someone else. And I'm so glad that you got to do that this year because you needed it really bad.

SPEAKER_08 57:31

And I felt very lucky to be able to host Chris. That was that was awesome.

SPEAKER_05 57:34

You're so sweet. Well, we've had a lot to celebrate this year, but let's take a look back on the goals that we set for ourselves in 2021. Now, I'll start by reading Paris' goal. His goal was to meet the gals, and by gals he means everybody but Ryan because he'd already met her. Uh, stream Dead by Daylight and convince Chris to get sponsors. He did accomplish two of those three goals.

SPEAKER_02 57:56

Uh-uh. He doesn't get the credit for the sponsors. He does not. I convinced us to get sponsors. I'm the one that came with the grotesque Manscaped copy. Okay. I'm the one that convinced us to have sponsors. I mean, Calmstrips was more organic, of course. Manscaped, though, 100% on me. This was not Paris. This was me.

SPEAKER_05 58:16

Okay. Then it sounds like Paris did complete one of his goals, which was Stream Dead by Daylight, that he did with me, and it was fun. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 58:23

I put in work for that. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 58:25

I think it did a good job expanding and uh diversifying our uh lineup. Had a lot of input from our listeners this year.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

I would agree. I feel like we had like a very um widespread lineup this year.

SPEAKER_06 58:40

Obviously, a lot of 2022 movies. Christ almost forgot how to pronounce it.

SPEAKER_02 58:49

No, but I feel like we had a lot from this year. We had some old stuff. I feel like we honestly we did have like a good spread of things that we covered.

SPEAKER_08 58:56

I don't know. I didn't I didn't achieve my goal. My goal was to rebrand and not be the superfly space guy anymore to come up with something that would be stickerable. Um, and so I don't know, I don't know if I that I that we got there. We Chris and I were really working on this to try to get there one day. But I feel like we get like partial credit because I a listener did ask me where they could find a sticker of my face. And you know what? Because we did make them, right? So it wasn't just a random thing, like I want to put your face on my belongings, but I feel like that's that kind of makes me stickerable, and that that's almost better.

SPEAKER_05 59:27

Yeah, you know what? What's in a name, really? It's really the Mac experience that we need. I do want to just share with the uh listeners we came up with things like sci-fi skeptic, but that's a problem because it makes it seem like he's skeptical of sci-fi. Uh, then we also thought about the dreadnought, which sounds spooky, but also maybe not 100% accurate. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 59:45

You know what I feel like you really need? Because the thing about Mac is like his experience is really hearing him. Like, you need like the deep voice bandit, you know? Bandit? That's what my mom said. Dig deeper Mac.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:01

Oh. There's something.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:04

Deep throat Mac.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:05

No, I didn't say that.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

Do you also have a crush on him? No, not at all. And there it is. We were just waiting, just waiting. Oh no. You needed to escape. Wow. Just saying, it's about it's about the experience of Mac, which is it really is.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:20

We can we can just, you know, introduce me as the voice of horror. We can we can go really, really lazy with it, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:26

The voice of horror, horror.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:28

Horror.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:29

I had a very simple task this year, which was make more cool stuff for the podcast. And I'm gonna be honest, I haven't been able to do so. And if we're being honest here, that's why I feel like I have to move on because some of the things in my life are pulling me a little too hard to give as much focus to this podcast as I feel like I should have. So I unfortunately haven't really made that much cool stuff for the podcast this year. I will say the cool stuff that Chris makes for this podcast is like 10 out of 10. Uh, you don't need me around here anymore, you know? Like I feel like you're out here doing my job. You're you're killing it uh with graphics, everything. So you're shaking your head no, but I don't care about that. You're killing it, and I appreciate you. Ryan, there's no Chris without Ryan.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:16

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:17

I understand, but we're not we're not separating as a human. We are still one human.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:22

Well, here's the thing to be clear, our anniversary poster was your idea, the movie theater. So you did make some cool shit this year.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:30

Yeah, true, true, true. I I have made cool things, but I haven't been able to make enough for the podcast is is the way that in the way that I would like to.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:39

Well, listen, I'm still gonna be harassing you uh within the next year as we are continuing to make shit. But uh last year our goal, well, my goal personally was to launch YouTube in January 2022 and plan a live show or stream. And hot damn, we did both. Uh YouTube hasn't really been popping. It's just episodes with audio waveforms animated to match when we're speaking. And there are some tear maker streams on there, so there are some live streams there. Um, we did live streams. We actually started broadcasting, obviously, to our listeners, to our patrons, and I've gotten very comfortable now with that, which is really cool. I haven't I hadn't done that since like 2010. So it's been really good to like exercise those muscles and get better at it. We started doing the cutting rooms, uh, we started doing watch parties. We really did a lot that I'm actually pretty proud of. And I think it's also really cool because this is also the year that Hacker Slash officially became an LLC. Love that energy. Legal baby.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:37

That's huge.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:38

It absolutely is. But now I think it's time for us to look ahead and for those who are carrying on to consider our goals for next year. And I'll start by sharing uh I have a few simple goals that are not gonna be very simple in execution, but I'm I'm confident we can get there. I want to expand our video content and bonus episode offerings. I want to make sure we have a live meetup of some fashion in some place for episode 300, and I really want to fucking make it to a convention this year and have like a little vendor booth. That would be awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:08

Yeah, that sounds fun.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:09

That'd be incredible for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:11

Yes, and I'll be showing up to any meetups that happen, okay?

SPEAKER_05 1:03:14

Same.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:15

Love that. Yay.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:17

It was gonna be demanded of you by the listener, so I'm glad you're already willing. Oh, I I didn't want the bullying.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:23

Obviously, I'm so new here that the main thing that comes to mind in terms of a goal that I'd like to have is just getting to know the listeners, building rapport and like participating as much as I can in all of these other like bonus things that we're doing, or live streams, being on the Discord as much as I can as well. Um, I'm like a big, you know, people person. I'm a massive extrovert, so I like getting to know people and like, you know, just building rapport always in everything that I do. So not only the listeners, but also obviously like you all, right? Um build like getting to know you all personally, being able to like have build memories together as well is a big part of who I am. So that's that's my big goal.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:04

I think you might be. I mean, correct me if I'm wrong for everyone else here. I think you might be the only actual extrovert on the show.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:10

For real?

SPEAKER_05 1:04:11

I am a fucking harrowing introvert. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:13

Yes, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:15

Just depends.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:16

Depends on the day. Oh, friends. Oh, yeah. No, I'm I'm a mega extrovert. I well, let's say this. I'm also a Virgo, right? So, like, I'm an extrovert, but I do need some like, you know, some some cozy time. But my house, literally, you could ask any of my friends. Everyone's always at my house. I'm always like out and about. I have almost too much friends sometimes. But that's good. Yay! I'll be the extrovert for everyone, the social butterfly for everyone. I love that for you.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:42

I used to be extroverted and then I started working, you know, uh like real jobs in my early 20s, and then I realized I don't want to be around people all the time. Uh actually, most times I don't want to be around people. I just want to be around one person and one dog.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:55

That's I love that. That one person is me.

SPEAKER_08 1:05:02

Uh well, you know, for me, I think for goals one, the rebranding is still a goal, so that's still there. Uh, but I had a lot of fun when we did, you know, some sponsor reads this year. So I think it would be really fun to use my voice to do interesting things for the podcast, whatever that entails. You know, Chris recently had me uh read a blurb from Midnight Sun uh because you know, people wanted to hear it apparently, and I didn't realize what it was at first, and then I read it and recorded it and sent. I hit the send button and I was like, that was Twilight. How dare you make me record Twilight? I narrated and um so people liked it apparently. So yeah, just you know, more interesting, not the normal everyday podcasting stuff, but maybe something I don't know, something random that that comes into play next year would be cool.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:48

Yeah. Brace yourselves for table reads coming at you in March 2023.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:53

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:54

So pumped.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:55

You know, when I think one, I I'm just so happy to be on this on this podcast. And when I think of, you know, any goals that I would have and what I can try to contribute to this show, um, I think of how we can put ourselves out there even more, right? I think of trying to do out-of-the-box things, um, you know, whether, you know, that's adding on to what you're talking about, Chris, and and being out there with the people more, if you will. But I also think uh I would love to try to figure out how I can creatively help um put some new merch out there, some new ideas, some new designs, refreshing some of that stuff, seeing what we can do. Maybe some we, you know, once we get that put together, what it would be cool to do some giveaways and some th different things like that. So I think um some of that stuff would be my goals.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:47

Hell yeah. Honestly, it's so essential, so important, and it's also the kind of stuff that I don't have the mental uh been with to do excellently. So I'm so excited that you're into that, John.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:57

Oh yeah, I'm all over it.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:59

Well, look, folks, our patrons have known for a few months now that we've had a bit of change on the horizon, and for the majority of this show's existence, myself, Mac, Ryan, and Alexis have been together week after week to break down horror movies. And while our audiences have gotten to know us better in the hour to an hour and a half long episodes that they ultimately hear on our feed, we have countless hours more together because of the podcast, yeah, but also just in life.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:29

Hello.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:30

She looked at me, she might be crying already.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:33

No.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:33

The reality is, right, like we've all seen each other through first dates, breakups, cross-country moves, more breakups, my breakups too, uh, makeups, career changes, and familial pain, like deep soul-crushing pain. And we've experienced true side-splitting laughter in the middle of the night, celebrated some of the biggest milestones of our lives, and even cried together. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to each of these folks, like in the middle of the night when I'm stressed out with my eyeballs. And in fact, uh it I'll be honest, the simmering will they or won't they romance between Ryan and Alexis has been, in a lot of ways, the heart of the show. Goes forever. At least when we moved on finally from Alexis and Mac playing FTSE. Now we know that that was actually flirting, but no one actually knew that it was really flirting in the moment.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:27

We didn't even know ourselves.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:29

I don't think we knew either. Nobody knew. Nobody knew. That's what makes it great. Here we are, so wholesome. This has certainly been an era within our show's history, but as uh as as we know, life is gonna continue lifing, and uh there comes a time when change will happen. And Ryan and Alexis have both incredible things happening in their personal lives, and now it's time for them to shift their focus to other areas. Now, Alexis, Ryan, I know that if our patron Rob was actively on the microphone for this recording, I'm certain he'd ask, What do you have to say for yourselves?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:05

I don't know what the fuck I'm doing is honestly the case. Um, I've already had FOMO. I don't know what I'm doing, to be quite honest.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:14

Well, I you know, I have to I can't say the same. I honestly I have honestly been on a path for so long, not sure where I'm going. And the past couple of years have kind of have kind of like formed a a road, you know, and I didn't have a road before. I was just kind of wandering as a human. And, you know, like I was a pre-med student and I just kind of did what I had to do, and I, you know, kind of treaded water and didn't really do much. Now I'm like supremely confident in who I am and what I'm doing, and that will absolutely change. I'll lose all that confidence as soon as I like get uh a first uh big girl job or something, but I'm super excited for where the world is taking me, and I hope my entire life changes in the next year, like in the best ways. And it'll probably change in some really bad ways too. But that's like you know, that's kind of where I'm at. I I feel like hopefully everything that I've been working towards will become a thing that I can be really proud of and that you guys can kind of watch along as I as I build. But I don't know, we'll see. We'll see how it goes.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:25

Yeah, I wish I had a um exact answer like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:28

I think for me I think you do more than you're more than you give on to yourself.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:33

Yeah, and I give more than I yeah into general, but I think it's a lot right now. It's just a lot of focusing on myself. Unfortunately, that means I have to back away from a lot of things and even work, like learning how to distance myself from work and all that sort of stuff. Unfortunately, things have to give sometimes, and I'm gonna cry some cry now.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:57

I think you're in a in a time of change and and very, very good things are in your horizon. Let's hope.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:04

Just kidding. I'm just being negative right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:07

I don't think we have to hope. I think we can just confidently know. And I think uh, you know, in honor of the last few years we've had together, let's take a trip down memory lane.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:16

Oh, Alexis. Out of 252 episodes on ha of Hackerslash, you've been on 178, which equals about 534 hours of recording. Your first appearance was episode 21, Mama, 2013, which was released on August 30th, 2018. And your last true episode recording with us was episode 238, Halloween ends, 2022.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:42

Now look, um obviously when we first met, we bonded over the realization that we both love horror, and uh, you had this wild, like, I'm down to clown energy that uh I hadn't met in anyone else ever before. And when we first had one of our original co-hosts say they were backing out of the show, my first instinct was to ask you, but honestly, I didn't expect you to actually say yes. It's a fucking shocker, right? So here we are, uh four years and 178 episodes later. How does it feel? Feels like I'm crying, right? Literally or figuratively?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:13

Literally. No, I'm literally crying.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:15

Oh, I've heard those tears.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:16

Yep, I forgot to get the tissues.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:18

I've heard those tears in the middle of the night on the phone calls.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:20

Yeah, and I think that's how does this feel, reflecting on everything, and I'm trying to not cry on the mic because that's cringy. Um but it's like all of our listeners, you guys, I feel like I've really it goes beyond like, hey, let's watch movies every week. It's hey, you guys are like the people that know me honestly the most. Chris literally will come to me, you sound different on your recordings, and it's like, no, I don't. No, you literally sound different for someone who listens to my voice for how many hours? 400, 500 hours a year, a year. And you know, it's just nice knowing that I have those sort of people in my corner to back me up that I know whatever decision I make is great. And honestly, knowing that people care about maybe not care about my opinions per se about movies, but like care about what I have to say. But it's just been like, like I said, this is my favorite part of the week, and figuring out how I'm gonna fill that void is gonna be really freaking hard.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:26

Please stop. Hello, Alexis.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:32

Well, look, uh Alexis, the only person who has been on more episodes of the show than you is me. And that's not saying a whole lot because I was only there for 20-something episodes more. Um very true. Look, I can I can tell you that if you hadn't taken a chance on us back in 2018, this show would have been dead in the water. And the excitement you poured into it helped make it what it is, especially Hackerslash After Dark. No one knows dicks the way you do. I love it.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:05

Fantastic.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:06

Not sure if that's true. No one finds a way to bring up dicks during a horror movie review podcast like Alexis.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:15

And if everyone knows if I don't bring up dicks at night, something's wrong. That's right.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:21

Listen, you say, like, obviously, obviously, we had those phone calls, like, hey, I can hear something is wrong in the way that you're speaking. You know, like I think when you spend 500 hours a year editing someone's voice, I think it you definitely get to know someone well. And and I'm grateful for the privilege of having gotten to know you so well through doing the show. Thank you for the kind words.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:43

Alexis, my love. Are you okay? I'm fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:48

I literally thought I could just slide out of this, and I couldn't, and I'm like, that's not the justice like this podcast deserves. Unscathed.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:57

When you had your awkward exit before you started crying on a Halloween nens recording, I told you that your uppins would come at the end of your episode.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:05

Yes, you did. And you gave me a slight chance to back out. I was like, no, I'm going into this. Welcome to it justice. I can't be leaving our listeners hanging. Closure is good.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:17

Closure is a good thing. Alexis isn't the only one who's been trying to escape things unscathed.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:22

Now, Ryan, out of 252 episodes, you've been on 141, which equals about 423 hours of recording. Your first appearance with us was on episode 53, Train to Boost Song 2016, which was published on July 26, 2019. And your last review with us will be a pre-recording for episode 253, Bubba Hotep 2002, so we can commemorate the love you and Chris share for Elvis Presley. How does it feel?

SPEAKER_02 1:15:48

You know, it feels like what Rob just said in the chat, which is 400 plus hours of this, and she still doesn't understand camp. That's literally what it feels like. Um, I don't know. I I don't have any idea how I'm gonna feel about this. Sometimes, you know, you have a couple weeks off of something, you're excited to get back to it, and sometimes you're excited to be away for a bit, sometimes you miss it so much. I have no idea how I'm gonna feel. I, you know, I do kind of expect to show up for a few things every once in a while, but I think I like am mostly proud of what's been building because you know, I wasn't here as early as Alexis, but I mean Mac came in like kind of in a moment where it was like we need we needed some growth, and I'm mostly excited by what this podcast is doing and like the community that it's building. The community has been such a special thing, and um, I think that's like the most exciting thing is just like I'm proud to be a part of it. I'm proud to have been here and helped helped hopefully get us here, even if I like piss some people off, or you know, I don't seem like fun, even though I'm literally so fun. Uh it it's a cool thing to know like where we started and not having Patreon, not having Discord, just so small little babies, even where I came in to see where we are now. Good luck making me cry, Chris. My eyes are already teary, so that's fun. Stop it. I'll make direct eye contact the whole time.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:16

Look, Ryan. Not the direct eye contact.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:21

It's it's the love of my life.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:22

Okay. You are the love of my life. I could obviously go on about my uh undying love for you, certainly. And um, I don't know that there's ever been another human on this planet that has ever made me feel as seen or understood as you. And honestly, you've taught me through our friendship, uh, through showing up and and you know, I'm sorry, I I'm thinking now about how you always fucking said that you're not a consistent person, but you have been the one of the most consistent parts of me for the past four years, and uh you've taught me the way that I deserve to be loved. And look, obviously I know like our friendship is gonna continue to blossom. Um uh but I am fucking gonna miss uh seeing your face every Sunday for three hours at a time. And uh you you really are my very best friend, so uh I'm gonna just need you to come move down to Miami, okay? Stop it right now. Just come on down. Got some fun curano, got some cave chico.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:27

I second this. I second this.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:29

Chrysler, you know I love you from the depths of my heart, and you're right, you have accepted too much love that is not of the quality that you deserve. I have been the bare minimum, okay? I have done, I have done the least, okay, but I've showed up more than other people, and that is what I want you to see, because I want you to know how much you deserve in this world. So um, yeah, it's been it's been my honor to be a part of it. I will absolutely miss having a requirement to see these faces. Like you guys are special people, you know. Even when you don't want to show up, you show up to the podcast on a Sunday night, you wish you were doing something else, mostly sleeping. It's still such a special thing. We've had so much fun doing it, so I'm gonna miss it dearly. But also, I'm not going anywhere, Chris. I'll stop it. Yeah, but there's a tear anyway. I know, I see it. Good lord, child.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:20

I just let me love you.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:24

Ryan can't do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:25

We'll see if I get a job in Miami, okay?

SPEAKER_04 1:19:28

Hey, wait, what? Wait a second.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:31

At the very least, I'll visit, okay? At the very least, I'll visit. Art art baseline?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:35

Come move to my house. I got room.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:38

I think you just got an invitation to you haul it.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:40

Oh, I know. I know what that means now.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:42

Back in the day, one of the first things I liked about Chris was how neat and tidy and organized Chris's notes were. We were literally working together and I looked down and saw like perfectly handwritten notes, check boxes. It just seemed like she had like everything put together. She has a very polished appearance, but we know her well enough to know that obviously she was gonna be sentimental about both of you, right?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:04

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:04

Absolutely. But our listeners have a few words for you too.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:09

This is where I'm really gonna cry.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:11

Love it. We'll see. All right, so Alexis EC says, I'm going to miss the love of bloody horror energy that you bring to the show weekly. We love you. Bye.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:21

Thank you. I can I get these printed out. I'm gonna print these out and put them, they're gonna be like, yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:28

Manny says, You're amazing. Antonio says, You were the second funniest. Paris was the first. We missed you.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:35

Okay, who is OG funniest, though? Okay, it was me. It's you, you're OG funniest. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:42

Alan says, always so amazing to listen to.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:45

I'm just gonna accept the compliment and I'll come back with something. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:50

I wish that, but am I all right, and then Tara says, I miss you already. I really enjoyed having you in the mix. I liked your fun view on things and your twisted gore. That's sweet.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:01

We love that you're a creep. I know.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:04

Less creepy now.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:05

I guess I need to get back to watching. Saw.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:08

Well, speaking of the cowardly creeper, Ryan uh EC says the logical conclusions you come to and share every week will be missed. We will miss you so much.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:20

Not the logic.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:21

Always the logic.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:22

You really be out here bringing down the logic of things, though. I mean, I do. I try my best. Make it make sense.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:28

Well, Manny says that you're outstanding.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:31

And Antonio says, We will miss you, sending my best wishes.

SPEAKER_08 1:21:35

Of course, Alan says there's a level of greatness, and yep, you're at the top. Always great listening to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:41

Aww. First off, Alan is a 10 out of 10 human, so uh a compliment from someone like that means more than anything else.

SPEAKER_05 1:21:48

Well, listen, Alan is a 10 out of 10 human, but when you consider how much time our patrons have spent, uh, listening to us, not only in the episodes, but also on B sides, uh, but also then engaging with us in the community and and really becoming part of our family. You know, it it wouldn't be the same if uh you went by without a few words from them as well.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:10

All right, so to start off, Ashley has some amazing words for both of you. For Alexis, thank you for being a beautiful human that somehow has always been able to put a smile on my face. Your perspective always has a way of lightening the mood when needed. Thank you for that, and for showing us all your scene girl pictures, which I need to see as well.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:32

Oh my god, yes, you do.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:35

And then for Ryan, even though you are not a Taylor Swift fan, I love you like you are one. You are a true wild card when it comes to the movies, but the way you speak and are spoken about, you are not a wild card in life, but a great human that is consistently a great friend. I'm sad to see y'all go. And though it feels like an empty platitude to say it, because it is said so often, I do really wish you both the best and hope for great things for your future.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:02

I appreciate the emptiness, even in even even in its like societal expectations, it feels like something to me, okay? Yeah. Alexis is sobbing.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:11

And now some words from Jake. Ryan, when I became a patron to Hacker Slash, my movie pick was it follows. I was pushing for a universal slash, but I had the slight hunch you would be the one to give it a hack. Reason being, I was so new to the podcast at the time, and you seemed to be the wild card of the bunch, which really elevated the fun of listening to this podcast. So obviously, you won me over in that episode by giving it a slash. Also, I was literally laughing in tears when you gave a voice recording on an episode in which you recited something I wrote in my attempt to sound like you criticizing some horror nonsense. I'm definitely going to miss your vibes and life input. You took no shit from anyone, and I admire that about you. Please stop by every once in a while to say hi. You are appreciated here, and I will miss you.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:54

Jake, I promise I will, and uh, what an honor to be called the wild card, okay? That I take that so seriously. That's all I want to be. Two two people back to back have said this about you. I know, it must be true.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:07

Possibly.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:08

And Alexis, the gore to the core, I want more gore, could have used some more gore, sweetheart, who taught me how to appreciate the art behind the blood and guts. I treasure your ability to have such a verbally lighthearted approach to the macabre of horror movies. I remember when Hackerslash was just starting out doing video with your reviews, and we got to see all your lovely faces while doing live recordings. But the best part was while you guys did the recordings, you saw our Discord conversations in real time, and correct me if I'm wrong, I believe I posted a photo of Kevin Bacon with a pig face, and you just slowly started losing it. It was such great fun getting you to laugh, laugh out loud, really such a darling moment. I appreciate you, Alexis. Like I said for Ryan, please stop by every once in a while to say hi.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:53

That is so appreciative.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:56

You and Ryan will forever remain in essence and spirit as the OG hacker slash crew, and we will be giving stories about the both of you from years to come. Nothing but positive vibes sent your way.

SPEAKER_06 1:25:07

Gosh, he makes us sound like legends.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:11

Legendary.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:12

I mean, we're gonna be hackerslash legends. It is true.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:16

Uh, and some words from Katie. I am certainly one of the newer listeners and the patrons, but I can say that you two will be deeply missed from my listening experience. You are both so fucking funny and a little predictable, but in a way that I love. You two seem to both be on the side of the unpopular vote in episodes where the group is split, which is fun from a listener perspective. I wouldn't listen if you all just agreed. Uh, you both are not afraid to ask the silly questions or admit to misunderstandings and areas of confusion that I usually also have. I love that Alexis specifically will take jokes just far enough to make the group groan a little, and that Ryan is not afraid to shut down bullshit when she hears it. You guys are hilarious, unique, and both have lovely radio voices and laughs.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:12

That's nice to know she can obviously tell us apart, though. Yes. Thank you, Katie.

SPEAKER_02 1:26:17

Nothing like Alexis taking the joke a little too far.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:19

I have to.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:20

Someone has to if it's not Mac doing it, it's me doing it, okay? And now some words from our trivia master and hacker/slash historian Nathan. I was still a relatively new member when you guys recorded the Friday the 13th Part 5 episode. This is famously the episode where I found out Alexis and I love the same emo bands. This was a special episode for me because I think it's the first time I opened up about my interest outside of horror movies, and it made me feel more invested in the community so I can find out more things I had in common with people. Alexis, you're the reason I'm a community member and not just a listener. You're the first person who opened that door for me. I'm gonna miss your laugh so much. I'm also gonna miss you being the last person to say bye at the end of every episode. Ryan, you've never gotten the credit you deserve for being absolutely hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:09

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:09

I feel like I deserve it. You're like, yes, correct. I feel funny. Somehow, the more chaotic or bad a movie is, the more fun we have with it because you make me laugh when we talk about the wiggiest wigs, or you create a spontaneous boob tier list. I also love when something makes no sense and you just say, hello, you're my ride or die because there have been plenty of movies where it's been you and me against the world, and it's so comforting to have you there. There are episodes where you've been gone, and I told the group, Ryan would side with me. I need her emotional support. I've been friends with you guys for almost a year, so I feel comfortable saying I love you both. Even though you won't be on the show, you're still a part of the Hackerslash family, and I hope you come back and visit us sometimes, like Paris does. I'd really like to see you both at the Hackerslash meetup next year because I want to meet you both and take pictures together.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:58

Um, just because I'm trying to be fair. Funny right now because I'm absolutely sobbing. Is uh I'm only five foot, so I I don't I don't come looking, hey, there she is. You might not even see who I am. But I just want to say one thing, and I don't mean to drag us out. But Nathan, I think that's the one thing that I've really gotten from this podcast is just creating an atmosphere where everyone can share and like you know, it I really feel like we are a family here, and I feel like I'm losing a family, but I'm not, so it's just a little bittersweet, but I appreciate all the kind words.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:32

Oh my Alexis. Sweet.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:35

I should have just did a silent goodbye, is what I really should have done.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:40

I, Nathan, most importantly, want you to know that you are never on an island by yourself, okay? When everybody here is talking about something that sucked being good, I have your back no matter what, okay? Even if I'm not here, I'm here in spirit. You know, when everyone's wrong, me and you could be right.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:58

You remember when Alison finally reacted to her dad being dead and Halloween kills, and then, you know, her mom was like, he'll always be with us. Yeah, this is that moment here. Ryan will always be with us.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:09

It's me. I'm here. Also, tag me anytime. Just be like, Ryan would disagree, and I'll like pop in and make a brash decision right away. Love you too, Nathan.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:19

From Diana, she said, Alexis, when I first started listening to Hacker Slash, you were the first host I could relate to. No matter how ridiculous a movie got, you always found a way to validate it and give it a slash. It's a slash until proven hack, is my way of life on how I watch movies. You always made me laugh, especially when it came to the birthday episodes. Choose your weapon. Blow up dolls, ninja stars, or a hundred-gallon water bottles. Thank you for being you and being our forever gore lover. Ryan, my logical and spicy queen, aka fun Ryan, you have brought so much energy to this podcast. If I could give out the perfect Ryan episode, it would either have to be Halloween ends or barbarian. Because tell me why my favorite running gag now is anytime you gave out Michael Myers' age, he gradually got older until he reached 200 years old.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:12

But true.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:13

And just everything you said in the barbarian episode was Chef's Kisses. Thank you for always keeping the balance and being our forever cowardly creeper. We will always root for you too and all your successes. Not only are you both immortalized on the Hacker Slash Podcast, but you two are forever immortalized in our hearts.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:31

That is so sweet. I'm trying to keep it together. Thank you, Diana. Honestly, um, gore lover till the end.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:41

Gore lover who can't stomach gore anymore.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:43

Yeah, I know. I'm like, oh, terrifier.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:45

Now I'm becoming weak.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:46

I need to revamp.

SPEAKER_05 1:30:48

Can we also talk about the fact that people say that Capricorns are often uh emotionless and cold and don't have feelings, but yet we're the only two people crying.

SPEAKER_04 1:30:55

It's because of your moon signs. I just sorry, not to be that person, but it's because of your moon signs. That's why.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:01

But I'm an Aquarius, I'm still supposed to be emotionless. Don't know my moon sign because my parents didn't care when I was born. At least the time.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:10

On your birth certificate.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:10

Yeah, Paris, I think, tried to call the hospital, I think, at one point.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:14

Doing research.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:15

The Jews trying to.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:16

I'm a Gemini, so I don't know. Does that mean I'm in like am I like soaking up your tears?

SPEAKER_05 1:31:20

I don't understand, but it means you're a sociopath.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:23

That sounds about right. Well, speaking of sociopaths, we've made our way to the ultimate voice of reason in our Discord. One of the most, uh, I don't know, opinionated patrons for sure. Alright, Rob says no. I have spent too long trying to process this information and have decided that I just refuse to accept it. I have spent time with you each and every week for a couple of years now, and you're not allowed to leave me alone. Alexis, there is no one on this planet that can match your spirit and energy. I have always looked forward to your insight, thoughts, and opinions on the movies being discussed. Ryan, I feel like I might be partially responsible for you leaving the show. For better or for worse, I think that you and I are a lot alike. You're amazingly creative and absolutely hilarious. I'm having trouble imagining this show without you. When you spend a long time listening to a show, that you will inevitably form a weird one-sided friendship with the hosts. That is without a doubt the case with the two of you. I love you both and wish you nothing but the best. There is little doubt that you will both achieve whatever it is that you have your heart set on. I wish that all of the Hackerslash community was going along the ride with you, but things don't always work out the way we would like. Best of luck. You're both special people, and you'll be missed.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:38

I forever will watch a movie now and be like, would Rob uh stand behind me on this or really just fight me on this one?

SPEAKER_02 1:32:45

I personally think the best thing about Rob is that me and him are exactly 50-50. There are things that I hate that he hates, and there are things that I hate and he loves, and we just we're we're we're like two trains passing in the night. We see each other every once in a while, but we often end up end up on other sides of the road. It's it's uh it's a lovely uh dichotomy that we have here of is Rob gonna love or hate this?

SPEAKER_06 1:33:14

Well, I'm a 70-30.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:15

So Yeah, you're I I think why do you think you're better or worse?

SPEAKER_06 1:33:19

You're I think we agree on 70% and disagree on 30.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:22

Oh, yeah. I think I I feel confident in the 50-50.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:26

I'd just like to point out that everybody in the chat is crying now, and thanks, Rob. Oh, dang.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:32

Rob, those were good ones. You almost got me. You almost got me. How are you keeping it together?

SPEAKER_06 1:33:37

I it's part of who I am. She'll cry alone in her bed. And read them at night. Exactly. There you go.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:44

Let me also just say R.I.P. to the following pairings our listeners have been chipping over the years. Uh, number one, Ry Lexis. The famed Will They or Won't They. That's that's not ending. Number two, Alex Mac, because great show. Oh yes. And three, this was never really the name, but crying.

SPEAKER_07 1:34:04

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:05

To be fair, none of two, at least my two are an ending. I still love Alexis and Chris dearly. I I don't see why Alexis and Mac will have to hang out anymore.

SPEAKER_05 1:34:15

So look, obviously, this is an incredibly bittersweet moment for the show, and we all know that you've both left indelible marks on our hearts and are leaving behind pairs of shoes that would be impossible to fill. And we're obviously gonna miss you moving forward. And while you will absolutely, literally, truly never be replaced, I can't think of a better batch of humans to help the show move forward than our new team members, Sean, Binks, and Vero. Vero who will be joining us again in 2023. To say I felt stressed when getting the news of our folks moving on would be a severe understatement, right? Like I naturally, once you process the initial emotions about it and like the general bummer that it is, your mind begins to wonder, like, fuck, what's gonna be next? How would the show feel moving forward? How are our listeners gonna respond to this? And there are a solid number of weeks that felt like pure chaos, and and Mac, the angel he is, took moments to pause and reflect with me so we could like calibrate the future of the show and what Hacker Slash would be moving forward. And then Sean volunteered his tribute, uh, bringing not only his passion for the classics, but a genuine love for the show after being a listener for over a year. Uh, Vero came through and rose to the occasion with a special brand of unapologetic love, warmth, comfort, and appreciation for gore that I think Alexis could be proud of and aligned with. Of course. Very and then there, obviously, in the middle of our busiest October ever, I mentioned it earlier. I walked into a brewery for horror movie trivia night wearing my Had and Field Memorial Hospital jacket and went met a woman dressed as Lori Strode. Meant to be. I knew in my bones that there was something inexplicably special about you that I couldn't quite place my finger on. And I can't tell you how grateful I am that you're here with us two months later to bring a dynamic we just haven't had before. And the three of you have given me such a renewal of laughter and the enthusiasm and energy you're bringing has brought me not only like peace and a chaotic year, but genuine excitement uh knowing that we're gonna make this show even better. And listener, look, if this is all news to you because you haven't been in our Discord or tuned into the last few episodes, you might be wondering where this is gonna go. Let me put you at ease. You're in good hands, and I feel a profound sense of trust with our new team, and believe me, it's very difficult for me to trust. So thank you. And can you tell my love language's words of affirmation? I would say so, yes. Yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:44

Oh, mine's physical touch.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:46

That explains the footsie. Yeah, we can tell that too. Well, folks, look, we've discussed a year's worth of episodes and four years worth of memories here tonight, but we still have an entire future worth of episodes ahead of us, so the conversation doesn't end here.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:01

You can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free in our Discord. Click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:07

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode, consider becoming one of our patrons. Visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to enjoy more of the show with early access, extended episodes, bonus content, and live shows.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:18

We'll see you next time, folks. And remember, you got that X Factor. Bye.