299: Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)

SPEAKER_04 0:04

Feeling a little loose here. Spooky season greetings and salutations and welcome to Hack or Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. We're gonna have so much fun together. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie isn't a hack.

SPEAKER_07 0:25

A total joke, a waste of time, or a slash. Totally killer. Fun intended.

SPEAKER_04 0:30

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're writing these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm drawn by the super fly space guy Mac.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

She's mean and she smells like cigarettes.

SPEAKER_04 0:45

The classic horror connoisseur Sean.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Quit playing and take that off.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

And the paranormal paramour Binks. I wish someone would buy me a ring. This week we're checking out a newly released film that's making the leap from gaming platforms to cinema. Before we get down to business, though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_00 1:01

Let's follow up on some stuff. Well, we are winding down our new blood drive, and it has been such a success. Thank you to everyone who has recently joined the Hackerslash family. As a reminder, the last day of the New Blood Drive is Tuesday, October 31st, aka Halloween, I believe.

SPEAKER_04 1:18

Oh yeah. That's uh that's a little known holiday. Don't know if you know it.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

I've never heard of it. Michael Myers has been haunting this town for 40 years. You don't have to stick around necessarily for 40 years, but I hope we're here in 40 years. If you join our premium tier today and stick around with us, though, we're gonna send you one of our sweet sixth anniversary posters.

SPEAKER_04 1:37

Which honestly I love. And let me tell you that I feel like I've come close to a few final destination moments in the last few weeks in terms of like water bottles randomly getting shot out underneath my brakes in my car. And our poster has a little bit of final destination energy, so I think you'll appreciate it.

SPEAKER_00 1:52

So good. Yeah, definitely watch where those water bottles are going. We don't want your uh car to suddenly not break. That's not good. Not good.

SPEAKER_04 1:59

From my doom to your room.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Well, we'd also like to thank some of our new patrons, Jane, Patrick, Ryan, and Mary Ann. Welcome to the family fresh. No, sorry, new blood. New blood. Very good. Thank you for joining. And that's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_04 2:14

Well, this week we're diving into a long-awaited film adaptation of a video game that has amassed a passionate fan base since it launched in 2014. The game franchise became known for its immersive gameplay and intricate lore, which sparked it earning a cult following. Development talks for the film adaptation actually began back in 2015 with Warner Brothers, but the project ultimately dropped after experiencing several production delays and a revolving door of talent moving through the movie. Blumhouse Productions took the helm two years later, and now we're presented with a film featuring a new recruit who accepts an overnight job as a security guard at an infamous pizza place. He ultimately finds, though, that the hallways hold more secrets and sinister undercurrents than he could have bargained for. This week we're talking about Five Nights at Freddy's. What were y'all expecting going into this?

SPEAKER_00 2:57

You know, I never really played the game, but I always heard that it was a lot of fun. But like when the trailer came out, the trailer looked like a lot of fun. It just also happened to look like PG-13 family-friendly, lighthearted, spooky fun.

SPEAKER_07 3:08

I was gonna say the same thing. Like I never played the game either, but this one I was really expecting this to be a fun movie. This looks like it's gonna be reliving childhood nostalgia with Chuck E. Cheese, but as kind of like a nightmare of sorts.

SPEAKER_02 3:24

Definitely. So I've watched people play this game, and I just recently bought it myself, played it just for a little bit with the time that I could find. But as far as the movie goes, I knew that it was gonna be PG 13, so I wasn't expecting anything too extreme, but just in general, maybe like a good time. And actually, I figured it was gonna really lean more into something that teenagers and maybe like some young kids could enjoy. You know, the kind of movie that let's say you're not 13, but you find yourself watching a horror film when you shouldn't. That's kind of the energy that I was getting, and yet nonetheless, something that maybe adults could enjoy with their kids, perhaps. Just because I feel like a lot of teenagers and kids like they know about this game just as much as I did when I was in college. So that's kind of what it gives, especially with the Chuck E. Cheese and like the animatronic element to it.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Yeah, this movie has big 13 going on 30 energy, and it seems like it's good for quite an age range, at least in terms of experience with thinking about where we were and how old we were when this game came out in 2014, right? It's almost 10 years old. We were hopping in, Binksy just said college age. Like, we're in our 20s when this shit came out, mostly in our 20s. But the only reason I know anything about FNAF, Five Nights at Freddy's, is because of my nephew Gavin. He was so excited for this, and like constantly, anytime I would see him, wanting to just fill me in on all the lore. I did try playing this game one time, and I just had no idea what the hell I was doing. So I quickly ejected and went back to The Sims where I can create chaos and have a serial killer farm. But that's neither here nor there. Going into this movie, because I have this vague familiarity and I just associate this with my nephew, I'm like, okay, this is gonna be another one of those like Megan, where actually Megan ended up being deeper than I expected. But I thought it's gonna be good for a young crowd. It's gonna be good to get a lot of people to the theater to embrace some level of horror, but maybe it wouldn't hit the spot for someone who really loves some dark stuff, right? I think going into this, seeing the cast that we have, I had faith it'd be a good movie, but it wasn't something that I was super excited about. It was kind of like, okay, yeah, that's probably gonna be fun. But I didn't walk into this with a ton of, damn, I'm really gonna love this shit energy. And going into this and actually watching this as a part of the community, Sean, you had a brilliant idea knowing that this movie is streaming on premiere night, knowing that it's premiering, why don't we just watch it with our community and then roll straight into the live recording? So watching it and the feeling of watching it, man, this was such a great move to be able to enjoy with other people.

SPEAKER_07 6:07

It really is a great move. I almost had a heart attack though.

SPEAKER_04 6:09

Why is that?

SPEAKER_07 6:10

Because it almost felt like it wasn't going to stream. Like it was minutes after the hour, and it wasn't available to play, and then I Googled it and it was like 27th, and I'm like, what?

SPEAKER_04 6:22

Yeah, it did scare me. It gave me quite a fright. That's honestly part of the scariest thing about the movie was the heart attack that I had thinking we don't have a backup episode for tomorrow. Oh my gosh. But it was still a fun time, right? And I think even aside from the experience of getting to chat with our listeners in the text chat while we're watching this movie all together through the power of Chris Flicks, which is me streaming through Discord, I think even aside from all that, just the energy of the movie, there's some dark themes here, but this movie still managed to feel really light and really fun.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

Yeah, you know what? I think it was also a little slower than I thought it would be. And for me, that's not an issue because I'm okay with with that pace sometimes. Um, but it was also less scary than I thought they would go for. Like it has its moments where you can tell, oh, they're trying to be kind of scary here. But a lot of it wasn't that. In fact, I think they disarmed some of the antagonists pretty early in a way, right? So I'm watching this thinking, is this technically horror? I guess it is. It's got the elements of a horror movie. It's it's it's actually a horror movie. But at the same time, this is not a horror movie meant for someone who's nearly 40.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

No, definitely not. I will say though, although it isn't meant for someone who's 40, I gotta say, I was hooked. And maybe it's the Josh Hutcherson of it all, you know, my boy PETA. Maybe it's the gamer girl in me. Maybe it was that it was so ridiculous and silly, and yet somehow shocked me at times and disarmed me, like you were saying, Mac, for sure. It did lose me with some of its characters, but I feel like overall the feelings that I had were this is a little bit of a roller coaster that I was not expecting. Not a crazier one that you might go to an amusement park and feel like, holy shit, that was incredible. But maybe like a one of those like wooden roller coasters where at some moments you're like, wow, this I got I got the heebie jeebies a little bit, but this was also just an okay roller coaster. It's not for the full-on thrill of it.

SPEAKER_04 8:18

Yeah, because the heebie jeebies come at the expense of wondering about your safety. And in this, I think you wonder about the quality of what we're actually doing here and witnessing. But when it gets to the end of it, you're like, Alright, I didn't die.

SPEAKER_07 8:31

You see, on a on an old wooden roller coaster, you fear for your life. You know, you have this sense of thrill, and that's not a feeling that I had during this movie. This movie, like you're what you said, Mac, it starts off really slow. It's a very slow build-up, and that might not bother some people, but it kept this slow pace for such a long time that it was almost the sense of boredom at first. And where is this movie going and where is it gonna get to? So I'm not sure. But that's the the feeling I had was I didn't have a really strong feeling of thrill or fun or excitement like I thought I was gonna have. It just felt slow and a little bit boring to start with.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

It's interesting because I think the thing that most surprised me about this movie was the fact that we went way more dramatic than I was expecting. We got pretty deep pretty early with like how dark we wanted to be with the story. I don't know if that's from the game or not, but it was pretty dark. And we had a lot of moments where somebody is struggling with PTSD, did not expect that whatsoever. And so, yes, we're taking our time, but at the same time, why is this PG 13 Halloween like release horror movie going so hard in the paint?

SPEAKER_04 9:49

It was giving the energy of taking a property that has a very complex lore, a very intricate lore, and also trying to make it palatable and approachable, but also get the bang in just at the end of time here for the spooky season and for all these kids to get their parents to take them to the theater and have a good opportunity to capitalize.

SPEAKER_07 10:10

Yeah, the cash grab.

SPEAKER_04 10:11

Uh yeah, okay, yeah. So I struggle with it because yes and no. I think the timing of it, sure, but I think it's such a difficult thing to do. Like, I remember listening to my nephew explain the lore, and I'm like, bro, I don't know how you're making sense of this. It seems kind of wild to me. I need a family tree, I need a flow chart, I need several graphs and maybe a keynote presentation, maybe a TED talk. But I think to take everything to digest and put it into this movie, it's interesting because I was surprised that the parts of the lore that I remember hearing were very simple and they really did that well. But there is a whole element that, and again, I don't know enough about FNAF to guarantee that this is the actual experience, right? Thinking about our central character Mike, Josh Hutcherson, and and thinking about what his story is. So fucking maybe it's a story, maybe it's not. But I'm thinking about the Mortal Kombat movie that came out, and how you have all the rich lore of Mortal Kombat, and then bam, insert original character. I know that his character is a character in the game. I understand that. But there are elements of his story that with the way that they're told and the way that it's focused on, Mac to your point, it goes really hard. And I'm like, this feels like two different experiences.

SPEAKER_02 11:32

Absolutely. And it's oddly placed. To me, it's almost like the main character and his story adults can relate to, perhaps, but we're surrounded by something that is so silly and like quirky, campy, even the lore of FNAF, right? Is just on that level that would creep out kids. So I feel like I'm watching two different movies, and I think to me the biggest disappointment of it all is all of the other characters surrounding it that is supposed to connect both of these things together. The characters that are supposed to connect our main character to the lore that is FNAF and these animatronics, you know, so it just seemed like it was there was some disconnect, it was thrown together, some motives, some connections, decisions even were just kind of thrown to the wall a bit, and you're kind of left with like, what in the world? That makes no sense. This is just meant to move the plot forward, and it's not even subtle about it.

SPEAKER_07 12:32

Interesting. Because I felt like obviously I never played the game, so I don't know how to compare this film to the game. I don't know anything about it, didn't know anything about the lore going into this, but I was both surprised and disappointed by the lore and by how not fun this movie was. Like I was hoping this was gonna be super fun, a super fun slasher type movie. It just didn't feel I didn't get that. I was disappointed by that aspect, and I couldn't help but feel that throughout the entire film.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

I will say though, I was surprised by the few little moments where it had potential to be that. It's hard to say without spoiling it, right? But we gotta, we gotta say there was a moment there where all of us were watching the movie and we're like, oh shit, is this about to take a turn that we thought it wouldn't be? Granted, definitely over an hour into the movie though, but there was a moment there where I was like, oh, this is PG-13 though.

SPEAKER_04 13:31

Okay, so when we talked about the PG 13 of it all, it reminds me of another Blumhouse film, Black Christmas 2019, where there was a lot of opportunity for that movie to be R-rated. Like there's so much like raw material that they could have used, right? But they made every conscious decision very intentionally to make it PG 13 so that more young women could see this movie at a young point in their life. And that's what this movie felt like. It felt like PG 13 that made some specific decisions, but not taking the bite away from like the violence or the gore. Now, granted, I say that it's still FNAF, right? It's still like a game that a lot of children play, so you're not gonna walk into this expecting some other crazy stuff. But there were moments in here where I was like, okay, what in the jigsaw are we doing right now? Because the gore that we do get, it seemed like it was, hey, how do we push the envelope while respecting that this is a game that kids enjoy? And we want kids to be able to see this in theaters.

SPEAKER_02 14:31

And I'd love that though. I'm all for a PG 13 movie that can give better and greater access to a range of audiences, right? Because at least me growing up, a lot of the movies that I watched, sure, were rated R and I shouldn't have. But it was the PG 13 ones that my mom was so excited to take me to the theater for, and that was a lot of my experience. We've seen a lot of not a lot, but a good amount of PG 13 movies this year alone. I think we've got Boogeyman, right? We've got Megan. We've done a few of those already that I thought were pretty good and enjoyable, but necessary, in which they would scare a 12-year-old, that's for sure, a 13-year-old at the very least. So I think it's good. And for me, as far as what makes this movie scary, it's really the animatronics. Like uh, I think it's called automatonophobia, I think it is. It's automatonophobia. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 15:26

Page's title on the show, he was automatonophobia because he's afraid of those things.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

Well, with reason, because sorry, but I've gone to a Chuck E. Cheese. In South Florida, we used to have a dandy bear. Those things exist for sure. I don't have the phobia, but can I see how they would be frightening and a little creepy? A thousand percent. If I was walking down a hallway and I saw one at the end of the hall, yeah, I'd be like, fuck that. So I get it. And I again, a 13-year-old, a 14-year-old, whatever, a teenager seeing this movie wouldn't blame them.

SPEAKER_04 16:00

Yeah, I think what's interesting though is this game is almost known for having so many jump scares, right? And there are definitely moments in this where you could see that this is a jump scare, but they weren't effective, at least for me, right? Like usually if I and maybe it's because we streamed it instead of going to the theater to experience it. So take that with a grain of salt. Maybe it's gonna be different if I go watch this in Dolby. But I think the reality is that when those jump scares were executed, I almost felt myself thinking, like, oh, I hope I hope the fans of the game aren't disappointed by that. Now, granted, we did have a lot of listeners in the community who were watching this and like, oh my god, that's straight from the game. That's just how this happens in the game. And I'm like, wow, I love this for you. It's what I imagine watching The Last of Us with Binks would feel like.

SPEAKER_07 16:47

Okay, but see, if you don't have a fear of these animatronics, I'm not gonna even try to tongue-twist that word, but uh if we don't have this fear, there's no way that this movie is at scary at all. It's just not scary. There's a toy in here that's the real MVP in the Fright Factor, but it's not these animatronics. There was no real terror built throughout this movie. None of the antagonists were terrifying or scary. There was little to no effective jump scares to your point, Chris. Like nothing landed at all.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Here's what I'll quickly say about that, though. I think the idea of an animatronic and like a just like creepily staring at you, that can be scary. But something that you mentioned earlier, Chris, about the audience members that have played the games and how they were talking in the watch party, they mentioned a lot how in the game, and I've remembered this from watching people play it, they they display it like where they are like hiding in shadows and like they're very subtle about it. I'm gonna dispel that right now. I set the expectation that that is not going to be a thing in this movie.

SPEAKER_00 17:56

Yeah, these types of characters I think deserve an alien or an aliens or an aliens three type of treatment when it comes to their scares, where they're they're very large, they move in kind of an alien way because they're robots, you know, they're not humans and they don't move fluidly. And so if you show them on screen moving quite slowly, it it de-arms them for sure. I think if you saw them as a glimpse in the background or in the darkness, you could see maybe a hint of them. I think it would have been more effective. I I don't think there was really any fright factor in this in this film. Especially I mean, it's me, so take that with a grain of salt as well. But I I did not detect moments that would scare other adults. Now, like you mentioned, kids. This is PG 13. I think if you were 10, you might be you might get got by some of the attempts at at scares, perhaps. I think if you're 13, you're probably already past it. You might just enjoy it separately, though, from any any attempt at fear.

SPEAKER_04 18:58

Tell you what though, I do admire its ability to hit nostalgia just right, even though Chuck E. Cheese is an experience I'd ever had. Like it looked like a situation where I'm like, damn, I remember fantasizing about that as a kid. And listen, we've seen video games adapted to film. We've seen it. We've seen Blum House do a lot of movies that involve kids. And again, we're in the year of fuck them kids. Like we've seen movies that are not dissimilar from this. But I will say that when you compare this to its lore, when you compare it to the property upon which it's based, I think you you almost have to wonder, do you want it to be super different or do you want it to be really faithful? And I think something that I appreciated, you know, my nephew was texting me right before we saw the movie because he got out of his showing right as we were about to start, and he talks about how faithful he felt like it was to the game. Granted, I want to ask him some clarifying questions about Mike and Mike's story altogether, but to see someone who is so passionate about the game feel so satisfied, you know. Originality aside, I feel like that is a good sign and a good hallmark for this movie.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Video game movies are so tough because you have things like Far Cry or Doom that really spoiled the entire concept for everybody. Effectively, Yui Bull should just stop making video game movies. They just should bar him from being able to do that. But that being said, I think you can make good video game movies. I think we've had some examples in the past where it's happened. And I think when it comes to originality here, you're you're right that you don't want it to be too far off, but you have to make it slightly different for people who are fans of the game, so there's something new. Or do you, is the question. And this is the question I always have when something is adapted is do fans actually want something that's surprising to them? Do they want their expectations subverted? Or do they actually just want to see the characters and stories that they love on screen? And as one type of fan, I've watched a couple movies based on books that I really liked, so kind of similar to video games in that regard. And when they get really close to it, when they get the important stuff from the story, the small details that they change, they don't they don't end up mattering to me because if they've got the feeling that I had while reading it, I'm fairly, fairly happy. So I didn't play the game, I can't speak to it. This is obviously derivative because it's from the game, and that's fine. But it seems to me, as someone who never played it, like it might be capturing kind of the idea of it, but I don't know that it's capturing the feeling.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

I always find adaptations so fascinating because of what you just said, Mac, because there are two different types of fans, right? The ones that want literally word for word the exact thing onto the screen, or they want something fresh and like to be able Able to relive what they enjoy, maybe in a different way. I don't know where I'm at with that because obviously we know that I'm a massive fan of The Last of Us. You already mentioned it, Chris. Like we've got the show, and that was a great example of just a little bit of both. Very close to the game, but also just enough of a fresh perspective. It sounds like this game and its adaptation is something very similar where there are certain elements that they changed, but just not too much where it seems like it was a terrible adaptation altogether. So I I mean in terms of originality, I feel like to toe that line, based on what your nephew is saying, Chris, to toe that line is pretty smart to do because at this point you're kind of trying to capture both of your fan bases.

SPEAKER_04 22:54

For sure. And I also want to highlight that the creator of the game had a heavy, heavy hand and direct involvement in the making of this film to the point where even Jason Blum was like basically attributing the delay in how long the movie has taken to get out to be because of that partnership. And I think you could interpret that in one way where it's like, oh wow, why'd it take so long? But I think in the other, it's that it's a delicate balance of getting it right and feeling like in the eyes of the creator of this game, that there's a balance here and that it does the story or the property justice. So I think it's one thing for for me to sit here and think, like, okay, in bad faith, is this out here doing original things and doing different things and almost spoiling the franchise? But I mean, this is directed by the hand of the person who made it all to begin with, right? It's like talk shit all you want about George Lucas, but it's fucking George Lucas' idea.

SPEAKER_07 23:50

Yeah, I think that's something I can appreciate. I do think it's probably really difficult to try to translate a video game into a horror movie because there's so much you can squeeze into a video game and then you gotta translate it into an hour and a half or whatever the movie runtime is. So, you know, when you look at originality, obviously it's coming from a video game. So in essence, it's not a true original story, but I think it has to get originality for what it's able to do to translate that to film, which hasn't been done yet, so we'll give it that. But it also feels like it pulls from a lot of different horror films, and maybe that's what the game did, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_04 24:33

Listen, the homages were homaging. It was happening.

SPEAKER_07 24:37

That's true.

SPEAKER_04 24:37

We even have a moment that, you know, we'll save it for later in the spoiler zone. But you know, we have a certain character who's been in other things do a certain thing with the hands, and I'm like, oh, fucking he did the thing, did the thing. There it is. And of course, you know, we think about just the the landscape of horror and the effectiveness of scares, there's so much that goes into this movie, and I can't wait to unpack it. But let me tell you where I think something missed the mark, and that was absolutely in the ending. Because while I'm not upset with the resolution, the feeling of it just felt like here it is that happened.

SPEAKER_07 25:15

Here it is.

SPEAKER_04 25:15

Yep, it was underwhelming.

SPEAKER_07 25:18

Yeah. I'm not sure how I feel about the ending. I feel you on it kind of feeling like it falls flat. It definitely wasn't great, and it was arguably super predictable. They really gave you all the clues and hints throughout the entire film, which kind of was a letdown for me.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Yeah, I think they wrapped up this episode of Goosebumps really well. Just kidding. No, but really though.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

There's a goosebumps series. I think there are things that are happening in that goosebumps series that are more intense than the ending of this whole fucking movie. Like, I feel like this is almost doing that show a discredit.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

You know, I I was actually thinking of the original series way back in the day, the ones that we used to watch. Yeah. And I remember like the plant people you know in the basement or whatever it was, the family was changing. And I think that was was spookier, of course, than than this movie. But I also think that like the ending here is very not horror-related. The ending is just like the ending of a thriller, but it does fizzle, like you, like you mentioned with the Anomanopoeia earlier. So it's it's strange, right? Because obviously it's a horror game. If you watch, if you watch any sort of gameplay from the game, wow, it lands so much better. Don't know how the story resolves in the game, so I can't compare the ending. But this one here, it's like, let's just step away from the the entire genre for a minute and give it just like, all right, we're just gonna end the movie itself.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

I will say, my favorite part of the ending specifically was the end credits scene. So stick around, you know, get comfy, don't do Orion and walk away. Just stick just a little bit longer, not only jam to what is possibly might just be my top five favorite song on Spotify Wrapped. I know Spotify Rapped is about to wrap up, but I'm I feel like a challenge has just been brought upon me because that song slaps so hard. I'm going to the gym tomorrow morning and I'm gonna blast that song so loud. But then it's the end credits scene that had me laughing probably the most out of the entire film. So please, please watch it.

SPEAKER_04 27:21

Oh, I love that. And at least that's gonna make it worthwhile. Let's go ahead and start making our way to our ratings. Now, before we actually get there, Sean, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_07 27:30

You know, there was very little gore in this one, and I understand it's PG 13, but come on. There were glimpses, sure, but there's just not enough. It's getting a gore score fit for a children's birthday party, it's getting a low gore score.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

And what about the animal report? So, although the animatronics are animals, they're not real.

SPEAKER_04 27:52

So we're all safe. Let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. Five nights at Freddy's from 2023. Was it a hack or a slash?

SPEAKER_00 28:00

I'll jump in here. I think it's all in all a decent watch. It's definitely light or fair, though. This is perfect for kids of a certain age. Uh, it's in the horror realm, but definitely a type of movie that would, you know, it's not gonna frighten a 40-year-old, like I mentioned earlier, right? So it's gonna be for us maybe something you'd watch with your family, or perhaps when you're not in the mood for something very hardcore, but you just want something adjacent, whatever, right? It has a good kill or two. Uh, I didn't really feel much tension, however, for most of the film. I'm gonna call it a slash, but this is definitely a straight to the streaming slash kind of situation. I'm glad I got to watch it from the comfort of my own home for the affordable price of included with an existing service.

SPEAKER_07 28:42

Wow. You know, I wanted I wanted to like this movie. I really did. In essence, this movie should be fun. It has all the right pieces to make a good slasher film that could be really fun. But they squandered all opportunity to be scary, frightening, fun, or effective in any way. The story felt slow, and then it all just kind of got thrown in your face. The story I get is not necessarily supposed to be super realistic, but come on, Chucky did it better. I really did want to like this movie, but it's unfortunately a hack for me.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Sheesh. Well, I gotta say, I'm surprisingly having a hard time with this one because I had a fun time making commentary and watching this film, especially with our listeners, and at no point was I disinterested. But that being said, it was very silly, and some plot points just did not make sense at all. It's predictable for sure. And even those that haven't played the game or have played the game, I I think we can all agree on that. I just can't seem to get away from the fact that I had a fun time watching this, though. But I do feel like this is a movie that is meant for the 13-year-old crowd, and there's nothing wrong with that. I love me a good film that way. So here's what I've settled on. In conclusion, I'm gonna give this movie a soft hack because it's not that great, but damn it, it might just be a new guilty pleasure for me down the road. Here's the actual situation here.

SPEAKER_04 30:16

Whereas Binx will be like, it's a fun movie, but it's not that great, and go to hack it. I'm like, oh, it's not that great a movie, but it's not so bad. And I'm gonna soft slash this movie. It's something that I think has more good in it than bad. There's some weird shit for sure, but I think there's this is also like a ripe ground for people who love Five Nights at Freddy's to have a lot of joy. And I can't find that joy or connect with that joy personally, but I will say that I think the quality of the animatronics that we get in here, I think the the charm of some of the characters is also pretty worthwhile. But for me, it's also the cinematography and the music and the score. There's so much in this movie that had me smiling or had me laughing, and sometimes laughing with it instead of just at it. And so for that, I think it's a good time, perfect Halloween watch. Take your kids to the theaters if you want, or just enjoy this on streaming because Five Nights at Freddy's 2023 is split down the middle with two hacks and two slashes. So you decide. You can go check it out or see it in theaters, but either way, join us in the second half so we can break this down together. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_00 31:43

Alright, horror aficionados, gather round for a slice of the supernatural at peppy pizzas. We've got a secret ingredient that'll have your taste buds ready for the hills. You see, our pizzas are crafted with such carelessness, even a poultry guy should be spooked into ordering elsewhere. We've got dough so rubbery, it could bounce back from the grave. Our sauce, well, let's just say it's got more mystery than a haunted mansion. And the cheese, oh, it's aged to perfection. Aged like a ghost has been haunting for centuries. Top it off with toppings that are scarier than a werewolf in a suit, and you've got a culinary nightmare in everybody. Now, let's talk about our special performers, the poorly maintained animatronic possums. These nocturnal critters know how to put on a show that'll make your spine tingle. They've got moves that'll leave you questioning reality, and voices that'll send shivers down your spine. But hey parents, we haven't forgotten about you. We've got the crappiest beer in town, guaranteed to make you bloated and full of regret. So, brave souls, head on down to Peppy Pizzas, where the taste of soap, it's legendary. You'll leave with a story to tell and maybe a new ghostly friend or two. Peppy Pizzas, the place where possums perform and pizza petrifies. Click your table now if you dare. Well, we got to see some of it, but I just loved everything about it. I think it was the best kill of the movie because it was the most gruesome, because it showed us the most, and because it was gnarly. You know, thankfully it was a hamburger cell cut, not a hot dog cell cut, but it worked well.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

Listen, I'm right there with you, man. That was immaculate. That was a moment where the chat went wild for a couple of seconds. We're like, whoa, I thought this was PG 13. Honestly, terrific. I'm gonna go with, I mean, I'm I'm torn between two. One is the opening scene that we get because I love the way that this movie immediately opens with tension. But I'm actually gonna go for a slightly more silly one just because it was giving notes of camp. And I'm thinking about Hank just being murdered after thinking he's in safety when we get that bloody handprint on the glass.

SPEAKER_02 34:24

Immaculate. Yeah, Hank was my favorite kill because you think of this big guy who's screaming, going down a hallway, you see him in the security cameras screaming like freaking crazy, and then of course the classic moment where you are in a closet, you think you're all safe, and then all of a sudden it's like a surprise bitch, and this massive blue bunny, whatever the hell thing, is like just staring at you. So very good. But I would also agree that any of the kills with the little cupcake is also hilarious.

SPEAKER_07 34:54

Oh, yeah, for sure. Those are all really great kills. Max was definitely at the top, which was yours. Mac just the getting decapited or chomped in half, rather, just a great like build of tension leading up to that. But I gotta say, even though we don't see it, Aunt Jane, because she needed to go, and if one-eyed Freddie didn't do it, I sure fucking would have.

SPEAKER_04 35:17

I love that you just appreciate her expiring on screen, even though you don't get to actually see the satisfaction of her demise. That's pretty great.

SPEAKER_07 35:25

She had to go.

SPEAKER_04 35:26

Zero fucking consequence for our boy Mike. Has nothing to do. It doesn't matter that she's dead in his house. Fuck it. This is true, totally still fit for everything.

SPEAKER_07 35:35

What did they do with the body?

SPEAKER_04 35:36

Who fucking knows? Maybe she they stopped an animatronic. I don't know. Completely disregarded that whole bit.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

That whole fact. Completely, completely irrelevant. My favorite part of the watch party was when that was brought back up in the chat, and I was like, oh shit, that's right. What happened to the fucking aunt? We just even I forgot that that woman died because all of a sudden she's asleep. The kid's like, Okay, sounds good. She's asleep. Ma'am, come on. She's not asleep, and you know it.

SPEAKER_07 36:10

Maybe it was just sleeping pills. I will say, visually, there were some things that I think were really great to look at. So there's like this one moment that I'm thinking of specifically, where you know, we're seeing the lights like flickering, and we get that sudden flash of I think it was Foxy, like in the whatever animatronic that was in the darkness, it was just super quick. Like you had to be, you couldn't look away for even a split second to get that visual. But I thought that was such a great visual. That's the stuff I want to see throughout the movie, but I only got like very few, maybe not even three to be a few, maybe one or two of those types of visuals, and they they hit, but I wanted more.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

They did some really cool stuff with Foxy. I don't know why that one in particular got some some great looks. I think one of my favorite scenes is when you know they're all hunting his little sister, and Foxy has that glowing with that one glowing eye while while he, I guess, is hunting. And that was like fantastic. I don't know what it was, but it felt like the Velociraptor scene from Jurassic Park, and it was like very effective, and that was one of the very few moments of some actual tension, perhaps, in the movie. Not a lot of tension, but but some of the tension. I think I'm a bit of a weirdo because when it comes to like the design of objects, there's something about I don't even know how to describe it, the cassette player, the old phones, just the look of you know, stuff from the 80s and 90s, even the cars. The the way they set this movie is great because at first you can't quite tell when it's set, and it's only when you see some other objects that you can really kind of place it. And somebody, of course, mentions the 80s, but there's a look to it, there's a look to it. I love cassette futurism, it's just like a really cool aesthetic thing, and there's just something here that they're like highlighting it. You know, we get that close-up of the cassette player, and the buttons look like buttons, and you can tell that when you push them, they're tactile and it feels great. So, yeah, this is probably very little to do with like cinematography and the actual look of the movie, but the set dressing here to actually place this in the 90s was fantastic.

SPEAKER_04 38:19

Yeah. Let me also just say, like, thinking about just all the work that went went in visually on this movie, shout out to the Jim Henson company creature shop for all the work they did on the animatronics, just in general, right? To really bring this to life. There are some moments where I was like, all right, some of the eye flickering, I don't know, it's giving CGI, it's giving it a little weird. The cupcake for as cute as it was was also a little off to me in some moments, but very rare moments. And I think considering how iconic these things look to the fandom of FNAF, right? Like just thinking about how important it is to get these details right, it looks super rad to me. But I do think that, you know, considering how you can make this look intimidating, they fucking nailed it. There was a moment where we get one-eyed Freddie where I was like, man, Freddie Fazbear is giving Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Then I was thinking about the Muppets. It was just like a weird situation for a second, but largely some great work.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

The fact that it's predominantly all practical effects, like you're saying, is the most incredible part. And thank goodness for it too. Because if it hadn't been, then it really would have gone south very fast, very, very fast, and been way too childish.

SPEAKER_07 39:35

Agreed. But they put in the work and that looked good.

SPEAKER_02 39:38

The only other cinematography that I can think of right off the bat, while as we watched the movie, we made some comments that we found a little bit annoying. So this is gonna be ironic, but it's his dreams. I know we got a lot of it and plenty of it. But hear me out. At the beginning, when I first saw it, like when the first dream, I guess, happened, I was a little impressed by I guess like the lens that they were using, because it was giving slight fisheye a bit. It made me feel like I was watching a commercial, like a very wholesome commercial of a family having a nice day out in the picnic. It was very happy, and that's what kind of threw me off, but had me hooked because I'm like, wait a minute, something's about to go down, right? Because this movie can't be happy. That's not what this movie's about. What is gonna happen? So I thought that was kind of interesting how they framed those that dream when you're thinking that this is a dark movie, that he can't sleep, something clearly bad happened to him. But the choice to make the dream so bright versus the darkness that we get throughout the rest of the movie and the lenses that they use and things like that, it reminded me of a commercial, but like a like a good one. At any moment in time, you might have someone start rambling off all the side effects of some pill that they're advertising. But fuck it, it was a good commercial.

SPEAKER_04 40:56

I actually want to shout out there's a moment in one of his dreams. A, I love that at some points we get some kids where like it almost felt like their faces were blurred out or they were faceless. So everything was just a little off, a little bit spooky. But the further we go in, you know, he's here to make a bargain, make a deal. But then we also get this moment where he's attacked by the kid. He's slashed by the kid, and then all of a sudden, okay, he and this happens actually kind of early, he's slashed in the dream, and then he's slashed in real life. I'm like, what in the Freddy Kruger are we doing here, bro?

SPEAKER_07 41:27

Oh, for sure. It was Freddy Krueger meets children of the corn.

SPEAKER_04 41:31

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Meets Willie's Wonderland, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:34

When it comes to those dreams, though, there's something so very mind hunter about them. I don't know if it's the color that they chose, or just because the color of clothing and cars from back then was very desaturated looking. Wasn't there to remember it, but they the dreams look distinctly different and they look so much more dramatic in real life than the parts that are not dreams, because the parts that are not dreams, we have all these crazy colorful lights and neons and things lighting up Freddy's. And so it's weird that when we actually get to the thing that's completely fake, it looks more like real life to me.

SPEAKER_07 42:12

For me, when I think of favorite scenes, there's a couple, there's a couple of like I think funny moments that are really good. But I think you alluded to it, Chris, or you talked about it already, or brought it up briefly about that opening scene with the security guard running from the animatronics or whatever it is, then that tension, it really set the tone right away. And when we got that opening scene, I was like, okay, this is something I can get behind. Like, I can't wait for this to start going. And then that happens, and then it just kind of really slows down, you know, really slows down. But that opening scene was perfect. That was such a great way to start the film.

SPEAKER_04 42:54

Yeah, you know, man, I'm torn honestly, because I think my favorite scene overall is thinking about that first moment of chaos, not even there that moment, right? So we have that opening scene, it's it's pretty fantastic. But when we see the the coordinated effort by all the animatronics by Freddie and Friends to really take these guys down when they break in and they're trying to burglarize the spot, it is absolutely a great moment. But I almost want to cheat and go with my favorite scene being the opening and closing credits because they were just so fucking well done. The music was a vibe, it was fantastic, but then the lore that we get, and just thinking about like the cartoon drawings and the style and the aesthetic of the opening credits, man, it just set the tone, and I think the end credits also wrapped it up really nicely. And you know, we talk about that post credit scene a little bit earlier, right? This is a moment where the ending did not leave a great taste in. My mouth, but the end credits gonna made up for it. It's a weird experience.

SPEAKER_02 44:04

That Uber driver is the star of the show, or at least one of the top three stars of the show at best, because he was hilarious. The guy was so funny. The way that he almost fell out of his own car when he saw Freddy in the back, it was just priceless to me. But also, sir, what are you doing driving a car with a kid and an animatronic that just like hops in?

SPEAKER_07 44:26

Yeah, that is a little a little bit strange for sure, but strange. But it was a great moment because that dude's reaction was great. It was super good.

SPEAKER_02 44:37

It was everything. It was absolutely me. I felt seen.

SPEAKER_04 44:39

Let's also acknowledge that he's also a taxi driver. Bro doesn't even have the luxury of the app to guide him or like reject these things. He's chilling and he's looking for his work, and it's just different. It's just different.

SPEAKER_07 44:50

No Uber.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Wow. I'm here saying Uber knowing full well. You I'm very much obviously in 2023, but yes, I agree. My favorite scene, it's only because I had just started playing the beginning part of the game. And it's when, well, I guess Steve at this time is ex on the phone with Mike, explaining to him a little bit of like what to do when he's at the pizza place, like you know, just kind of running him through things and hoping I'll see you the next day or hope to see you soon. That kind of call. It's very similar to the call that you get at the beginning of the game. So I thought that was a fun little touch to kind of again keep that game lore in there while also progressing the story. It's not just listening to him ramble on the phone, but you're seeing him start to arrive to this place, start exploring while also hearing that phone call. It's a nice little touch and homage to the game.

SPEAKER_07 45:45

Yeah, absolutely. I also thought there was some like one funny moment that I think a lot of people can relate to, and that was that ice cream scene. It was just so funny with the lady that was trying to order the ice cream but being overly complicated. Like, who gets like, what was it, a Sunday and ask for the fudge on the side? Like, I don't know if anyone's been in like the service industry and had to deal with customers ordering that way, but it's fucking annoying as shit. And I could relate in that exact moment and be like, I'm putting that fucking fudge all over your ice cream.

SPEAKER_00 46:16

There was a lot of humor in this movie that was food related, that was great. The waiter pushing lunch, that was hilarious. It felt like it could have it could have been from Seinfeld. I don't know why it was funny, but it was funny. It was just like good comedy. The ice cream thing, that that was a great little moment as well. And it's so funny because it's like really subtle and in the background. But if you're paying attention, you're thinking like, what the hell? It's so random, but so good.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

But you know what? You bring up the waiter. So can we please talk about Jane? Let's get into characters. Let's talk about Jane and how abysmal she is. She's the biggest performative clown. And the definition of Karen as the Gen C youth say, without a doubt. I need her to exit stage right. And well, she did. So that's great.

SPEAKER_07 47:03

She was a terrible human.

SPEAKER_04 47:04

Yeah, and the fact that she actually called her nephew a degenerate, I'm like, damn, girl.

SPEAKER_07 47:09

This poor lawyer, too. Oh my gosh. He's just like, I do not want to be here.

SPEAKER_04 47:14

Poor guy. He's just like making intense eye contact, like between him and the doctor, and he's like, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be involved in any of this. Absolutely hysterical. Between him and the taxi driver, terrific tag team for supporting characters in the background of this film.

SPEAKER_00 47:30

His expressions were really on point. When he got up, like he was like, I can't be here for this conversation. His eyes went through all sorts of work to get up to that point. It was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 47:41

He was stressed, very much stressed. There's nothing like being at a lunch table and your client egging these people, well, first of all, bribing these people. And then when they suggest maybe we should just kill them. Sir. Obviously, either you climb over your client or you're jumping out the window, but you gotta do something.

SPEAKER_04 47:59

Honestly, there are moments during my day when someone around me says something that I shouldn't hear, and I'm like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. I don't want to be privy to any of this. Give me some fucking plausible deniability. Subtract me from this equation.

SPEAKER_07 48:12

Alright, I gotta ask this though. If all the kids are in the animatronic characters, who the fuck is in the cupcake? A fucking fetus? Please tell me this. I have to know.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

I don't think it's a tiny, tiny fetus, Sean.

SPEAKER_07 48:30

Not just not a tiny little fetus in there. Alright, alright. I just had to ask. I had to clarify.

SPEAKER_00 48:35

It is kind of dissatisfying that we don't get to see what happened to Garrett, though, right? Does anyone else feel that? Like, okay, so he's dead. He admits it, but like you didn't put him into a cool animatronic? What why not?

SPEAKER_02 48:48

But that's what I'm saying, you know? It's the thrown together parts like that. I've spent the whole movie rewatching this dream about Garrett, all of this. And sure, the plot twist that was so obvious that it's this guy being the serial killer, sure. But then I don't even not only do I not see Garrett, but like, alright, I found out who the guy is, and that's it though. And it's almost really sad because it's like all these other kids got to end up being reborn as these animatronics in some fucked up way. But he this guy, Mike, still can't communicate or be in touch with his brother.

SPEAKER_04 49:29

His legacy lives on in the plane that that man gave his daughter.

SPEAKER_02 49:33

All the other bodies got in the animatronics, but William said, Well, we're run out of animatronics, so Garrett, you're going in the trash.

SPEAKER_00 49:41

And what so at the end of the movie, he survives? Is that what I'm led to believe? Is that like he's still going in his yellow bunny suit?

SPEAKER_04 49:48

Listen, motherfucker, you don't really like you see him die and scream, and people are still like, he's coming back for scream seven. This man don't die.

SPEAKER_07 49:55

He's still clinging on to Dear Sweet Life. Yeah, they're just gonna green light sixth night at Freddy's.

SPEAKER_04 50:01

I mean, listen, the Stu Mocker of it all, the serial killer father of it all, I it's so interesting because when I was going through the experience of watching this movie, it's immediate that it's gonna be him. Like it's obvious that it's gonna be him from the very beginning. But then when we get to the end, even though you see this man come out in the yellow rabbit suit, A, it looks pretty fucking cool. The flickering eyeballs really is what does it for me. But we get this point where he starts talking and you can immediately hear the Matthew Lillard of it all. And it's not disappointing to me, it is it is charming to me. But then we also get this moment where he like fucking cleans the knife, and I'm like, yes, there's the ghost face. There's the fucking ghost face, and between him and Vanessa, like going back and forth, the amount of scream quotes that are going off in the chat during that scene, fantastic.

SPEAKER_07 50:56

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 50:57

I'm feeling a little woozy. My yellow rabbit dad is gonna be so mad at me.

SPEAKER_07 51:04

Amazing. Let's talk about Vanessa for a second, because man, she really did a terrible job at helping Mike out. Like she really held back a lot.

SPEAKER_04 51:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 51:15

She could have brought forward a lot more, a lot earlier, and saved this man a huge fucking headache.

SPEAKER_04 51:21

Yeah, you know, big traumas, as Veto likes to say, right? So this man has coerced and conditioned his daughter to keep taps on the place and to kill Mike if he starts to figure things out or get too close or whatever. There's that agreement, and it seems like her arc is just like this I want to protect you slightly, but also now she's invested in his little sister, and she wants to do good, and you can tell that they have like this this moral fight internally of like I don't like this, I don't support this, but also I feel like I have to because again, she's been raised like this since she's a little girl, but she absolutely could have brought more forward. I will say though, I said this in the fucking chat she had the moment that the fucking priest from Exorcist Believer wishes he had. Because she fucking showed up, she came through and she did something.

SPEAKER_07 52:17

True, true. But this is kind of the problem with the film, right? Because I get that they give you kind of those answers at the end in those moments, but it felt like it was just kind of rushed and thrown at you, and it's just like, here you go, just take that, and that's why you know she wasn't doing shit the whole movie and and was kind of like bland and not really doing much. But she just did, yeah, and because of that, she just didn't really portray that she was trying like even torn between helping Mike or helping her dad. I didn't see that in her character at all. It felt like she was just kind of monotone for the first half of the film, or three quarters of the film until the final like 20 minutes or less.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

It and it was a a switch though, because we go from casual conversation to you know showing up in my house and let me, you know, share all of my secrets when I, according to you, committed criminal negligence. Like if some cop is really just gonna want to sit down on a hilltop and listen to your story after you've done something illegal, sure. Absolutely. Then afterwards, okay, now I've discovered that there are kids haunting these animatronics. I guess that's weird. Let's help this girl out and we're gonna have a little cute music montage while we do things together, and then all of a sudden, zero to five thousand, show up here with that girl again, I'm gonna shoot you. What? Ma'am? You good? All I wanna say about Vanessa though, is I'm gonna take notes on that entire interaction because somehow at the end of it all, she's on a hospital bed and he's going to overlook the fact that she has known not only that her father has murdered multiple children, but murdered his brother, and I guess she's gonna get forgiven for that, but I can't get a text back. I'm just trying to figure out how what, ma'am, teach me the ways, I guess. Think somebody will buy you a ring one day. Look, I'm just saying that if in the sequel to this movie, because hey, in the chat they were saying, like, oh, you know, are they gonna kiss? It didn't happen, and that's fine, but it was giving romance. If in the sequel they get together, I'm gonna be feeling some type of way.

SPEAKER_00 54:46

I think in reality, you should be surprised that she helped him at all, right? Because she's been conditioned for so long to protect her dad and his his murder palace. And so the fact that she like got invested in any sort of way and like became friends and wanted to protect him and help him out, she gets she gets some credit for that because for however many decades she's been just like pretending it never happened. So good on her this time for not doing that.

SPEAKER_04 55:15

Yeah, I actually did not mind Vanessa at all. Again, maybe it is the you of it all. Maybe I was blinded a little bit, but I actually didn't have any qualms. I will say though, that I did find Abby very charming. There's a point where he asks, and he doesn't even get to finish his sentence. She's like, Are my friends ghosts? Yeah, how else would they control the bodies of the suits? Something to that effect, right? Like she uh she says it's so matter-of-factly, and I think she's just such a fucking charming kid. She also was giving Matilda energy.

SPEAKER_07 55:50

I could see that. I I did like Abby as a character for sure. I think she did like at first I was kind of torn with her character. I was like, is she doing a good job? Is it kind of flat? But no, I think she was charming. I think that's a good way to put it because I think she opened up throughout the movie a little bit more, and I and I kind of enjoyed that character.

SPEAKER_04 56:10

I will say though, that my worst part of the movie does have to do with Abby. It's not about Abby herself, it's not about her, but it is about the fact that you know, we think about any movie where there's a final girl. We think about any any moment where there's a big showdown, usually there's some kind of weapon. This girl's weapon was a pack of crayons. She really defeated the big bad with a fucking drawing. And not even a particularly great one, but she smacked it up on that board, told those kids what was up. Feels like she could have told those kids that verbally. I mean, like, I get it, the drawings are powerful and it's how they communicate. It's how they communicate as children. And I understand it and I respect it, but also it was just the delivery of it because she very easily could have been stopped by him. And he made almost he was just like, What are you doing? It just that was where it started to really fall flat for me. Not because of it necessarily the recipe, but because of the execution.

SPEAKER_02 57:07

It lost its bite. It literally could have bitten the frickin' crayons and it would have been game over. It's just like the weapons were the crayons, and again, it's one of those scenarios where we are alluded to what the great weapon is going to be at the beginning of the movie when they're talking about how all she does is drawing, and we're all like, is there an issue with drawing so much? I don't understand. What are we going against arts now? Like, this is silly. But of course, later on, it's because that's going to be the way to take them down. It just seems silly when it's a massive animatronic, or in this case, a human man powering an animatronic. It's just odd. For me, the best part I would say, aside from that banger of a song, because it's that freaking good, I would say it is these animatronics, though. I I personally thought that they were intimidating enough. I still would have loved if they had approached it a bit more creepy with them just like hiding in shadows behind a door. Like that kind of stuff would have been really, really good, like it is supposed to be in the game or how it is in the game. But I think in general, though, the fact that it was practical effects and the way that they designed it, bravo, because it still creeped me out.

SPEAKER_00 58:23

So you you make it kind of hard though, because now I I have to pick a worst part since I slashed this. And Chris already picked the worst part of the movie. We've had too many movies recently where the solution to everything is just it's either like love, you know, or something else like abstract like that. We defeated them with friendship. And that's a hundred percent what this felt like here. In reality, like they didn't defeat him, right? The animatronic ghost people did. They just kind of like let them know, hey, this dude is the one that killed you, maybe you shouldn't be listening to things he says anymore. And so it was kind of anticlimactic the way it played out, which was rather unfortunate. But if I'm looking for something separate to gripe about, I think you could you could easily pick on on the pacing. Uh, you could easily pick on the fact that things do feel haphazard while you're watching it. But I I think overall the the real issue that you could that you could pick on here for it for the film is that it lacks like cohesion. I think when you have the dream sequence feeling very different from being inside of you know the the actual like area that Freddie is inhabiting. But then when we're at home, it feels it feels like a drama. It feels almost like one of those like really gritty dramas where people just have really crappy lives and we're just having to like live it with them. You know, it's strange. So there's like this disjointed feeling where it doesn't feel like one continuous film. Each of the parts themselves, they each have good looks aesthetically, like the cinematography is fine. Uh the the looks of like the wardrobe, the set, everything is fine, but like it's it's almost like separate movies within one movie.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:08

Yeah, you know, for me, the best part of the movie is probably that mid-credit scene with the taxi driver getting that final jump scare with the toy, and maybe it's just the toy in general, because like I said, that toy is the MVP of this film. That toy did the most work in this movie, and I can only appreciate that little toy.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:32

That toy got the most jump scares, honestly. Pound for pound.

SPEAKER_07 1:00:36

If there was an effective jump scare, that toy was behind it.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:40

I will say though, that I am interested in watching this movie again, but only after I get some more context. I feel like I've watched it once with almost none, and I feel good about that. However, I want to play the game. I actually need, I think, my nephew to play the game with me because I need to understand what the fuck is going on. Or I need a masterclass from him on just Five Nights at Freddy's overall because I want to find the things that I missed, right? I want to be able to look at this the same way I looked at Halloween and Halloween Kills and Halloween Ends and saw the Easter eggs from my favorite franchise. I want to look at this the same way I look at the Mortal Kombat movies and think about, oh man, that was in the game. I want to have that excitement. So I think I'll watch this, but it'll be some time before I do.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:25

I am so with you there. I think the game, just like the original core game, is like five bucks on Steam. And I might actually have it on my library already. I'm not sure. But I think I'm down to watch it again with the exact same context. I think we all probably deserve to play the original video game, see what it was like, get a feeling for what playing it feels like, and then compare that to the feeling of watching it again.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:49

Absolutely. It is really that cheap. And they've remade the game a few times. Actually, more recently, I think they remastered it. So definitely want to play the game, get that context, re-watch it again. We'll probably take some time to do that though, but it is something that I would like to achieve.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:07

Yeah, the problem for me is that I have very little to no time for video games in my life right now. And so whether or not that would make a difference in watching this movie, I most certainly will not be watching this one again at all. Like it's just not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:22

Well, maybe what we have to do is just get some gameplay footage of Banks playing and then see if it rubs off on you a little bit.

SPEAKER_07 1:02:31

We'll see.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:32

But for now, there you have it, folks.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:34

Five nights at Freddy's from 2023 has earned two hacks and two slashes. Now we've certainly had a robust discussion here, but there's a lot of context missing, right? I think none of us here tonight are the fans of this game franchise and the lore of this universe, the way that so many of you listening to this probably are.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:52

So we want to continue the conversation and we want to hear from you. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:56

Let us know what you think. I'm curious to know if you how you would have fared having Mike's job, being a security guard at Freddy's, because Lord knows I wouldn't have made it very far. But let us know you can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free in our Discord. Click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:13

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode, consider becoming one of our patrons. Visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to enjoy more of the show with early access, extended episodes, bonus content, and live shows.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:24

We'll see you next time, folks. And remember, no more sleeping on the job.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:28

So I guess we're finished here unless either of you have some brilliant idea.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:41

Alright, I'm gonna be perfectly real with you. Growing up, I always wanted to go to a Chuck E. Cheese, and I never fucking did.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:50

Really?

SPEAKER_04 1:03:50

It feels like a lost experience. It feels like I was never really a child. Like I grew up too fast because I just missed on this whole fucking experience.

SPEAKER_07 1:03:59

Man, I don't know. I feel like I don't know that I went to Chuck E. Cheese like a ton, but I definitely had some Chuck E. Cheese moments. I feel like so many kids' birthday parties happened at Chuck E. Cheese. And you know, I haven't been there in probably over 20 years, but I remember the pizza slapping, you know? The pizza was good.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:20

Are they out of business?

SPEAKER_07 1:04:22

No, they're in business.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:23

They're very much in business. I, on the other hand, was just there maybe three years ago. Pretty recent.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:31

Why?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:31

Well, kids' birthdays. Kids' birthdays. I have a lot of friends and family members that have children. And there is a Chuck E. Cheese very close to where I live. It's actually across the street from my high school. So that was always fun. After school, we'd either go to McDonald's or we would go to Chuck E. Cheese to get said pizza. Very delicious.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:55

I was gonna ask if these were kids that you knew or if you just wanted to go see kids' birthdays, you know. Just crash a kid's party. Yeah, I'm glad it was kids you you knew though. I feel like I was there as an adult once. Like somebody invited me to their kids' birthday. They're like, hey, like swing by, come say hi to me while these kids, you know, blow some money at the uh at the slot machines or whatever they have there. But uh it definitely is like Dave and Buster's specifically for kids, though.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:21

I mean, I kind of want to try the pizza though. Like, would it be fucking weird if I had like a little birthday thing there? Obviously, it'd be weird. I'm not actually gonna do that.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:28

I mean, it definitely would be weird. Also, Rob just said it's trash, so I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:34

I don't know. I don't know about all that. Maybe some Chuck E. Cheese pizza in different locations hit different than others. I will say the beer is affordable and could probably potentially you know have a good time if we went. But you do need children to be able to go to a Chuck E. Cheese, though. You that's the key part that we cannot forget. You can't just roll in there as an adult. All willy-nilly. All right. You're gonna have to go in there with a child.

SPEAKER_07 1:06:03

This is a problem because I'm not kidnapping any kids. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:06:07

Right, right. I'm not the plot of the movie. How we got away with it in high school was like our friends worked at the Chuck E. Cheese, or we were like, oh yeah, our brother or whatever is in there. It's like a little fucked up and not okay. But again, where I'm from, a lot of sketchier things have happened, so they let it slide. Don't recommend it anywhere else.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:28

Damn. Okay, well, now I just need a strategy. I do have children in my family. So maybe I should have thought this through a little bit more. Thankfully, my brother just had a kid semi-recently within the last couple of years. So I think I have a good window of opportunity here, which to navigate this. There you go.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:45

You have a chance. But while we're talking about the Chuck E. Cheese pizza though, have you heard about the theories about said pizza at Chuck E. Cheese?

SPEAKER_07 1:06:53

I don't know if that is a real about the pizza specifically? About the pizza specifically. Oh, I can't wait to hear this.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:00

I feel like I've talked it up a lot because I think it's good. Rob disagrees, but I I think it's good. However, what I'm about to say is probably gonna be very gross and dissuade you from the entire thing that we've just discussed. So there's a theory that a pie from Chuck E. Cheese, it's it looks like it's thrown together. It looks like they've gotten leftover pizza slices and just assembled it together to make it one full pie.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:32

No. You know what? Okay. I can't explain why my head just went here. But do we remember the movie She's All That? Yes, of course. Do we remember the moment where he goes to defend this kid in the lunchroom and makes the bully eat the pizza with the pubes on it? Oh, that is just immediately. You said leftover pizza slice, and that is immediately where my head went, and now I'm disgusted.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:57

Disgusted.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:58

And now I'm thinking of uh Willie. What was it? The alien the alien pubes, yeah. That's what I'm thinking of. Oh no, it's scary.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:06

Alien pube pizza.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:08

Yep. Now I want to I want to say Chuck E special, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:12

This is Chuck E special.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:14

No, the Chuck E special. Jesus. It's not like that. Like if you literally Google right now a Chuck E. Cheese pizza, it just looks odd. Like, because it the pepperoni slices don't necessarily add up and they swear that it's a fresh pizza. But people have gone in and like tried to ask weird questions and investigate whether they like what are they doing with the leftover pizza that people leave behind and don't eat? It's giving misshapen at best. It's giving misshapen.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

So wait, are they cutting it and then like putting it back in in into the the shape of a circle? Is that why are they doing that? Just leave it.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:53

So they will let's say you have a couple slices that you don't eat. They'll grab those slices, grab slices from another pie, whatever, right? And then they'll rebake it again so that the cheese will melt like if it was a whole pie.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:05

No, that can't be legal.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:07

I mean, it's not about legalities, Mac. It's about hustle. It's about profit margins in this dying economy. That's fucking insane. No, I hate it. I hate it. I don't want it. I don't like it. I don't approve of it. Maybe maybe I'll never get it.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:19

Maybe maybe they're just not rolling out the dough enough or whatever, you know?

SPEAKER_02 1:09:24

Well, they're not fucking rolling in the dough, is the problem. Now, when I went a few years ago, more or like recently, right? I remember my ex-boyfriend. I went with my ex-boyfriend, we had talked about that theory. The pie that we received looked fine. So maybe, you know, with all of the pushing, this was like this was like a major pizza gate moment or whatever. I want to say like maybe you're on 2016, 2017-ish. From what I can recall, maybe there's newer articles. But since then, maybe they've changed their ways. Who knows?

SPEAKER_07 1:09:58

It's it's possible. Maybe it's one of those things where you have to like order something not generic so that they have to make something fresh. You know, you can't just get a plain cheese or maybe even just a pepperoni. You gotta like throw in something else in there.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:13

Yeah. This is uh really sad. And I think the only thing sadder than the quality of this pizza is the origin story of Chuck E. Cheese himself. He's a fucking orphan, and he doesn't know when his birthday is, but he loves the birthday song, and it makes him sad, so he keeps throwing other parties so he can live vicariously through the other children.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:34

Oh, this sounds really bad. This sounds like a pedophile.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:39

Well, he's a child, a child mouse.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:41

Sure.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:42

That's the that's the fact actually no, because he did grow too old to live in the orphanage.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:47

So that's what I'm saying. Well, that's what I'm saying. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:51

Look at that. In fact, one day Chuck E won a Pong tournament. Beer Pong, who knows? He won a trophy in $50. That $50 was enough for him to buy a bus ticket to New York City, and it was his magic ticket. So he opens up all the he meets some like chef named Pasquale, they get together, they have a restaurant. It's it's giving Ratatouille, but like with pizza. Oh, there's like one of him doing like stand-up comedy, I think. I dropped a link in the chat for our patrons to follow along. It's an issue, like online magazine, where you can read and view the illustration of the life of Chuck E. Cheese.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:30

Okay. I'm sorry. Call me the idiot, but I do want to clarify. We're talking about the mouse, correct? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:37

This is like Ratatouille who surrounds himself with children.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:42

I'm just saying, poor guy, he's not necessarily a creep per se, he's a frickin' mouse.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:47

Oh my god. Okay. I just want to read this paragraph. So I'm gonna also drop a link in the show notes to a paragraph or like a summary of the story, so you don't have to read the whole issue. One day when Chuck grew too old to stay at the orphanage, he moved to New York City. There he was sad, lonely, and homeless. He decided to sleep in a pizzeria because he loved the music from the radio and the smell of pizza. Eventually he got caught by the pizza shop owner who tried to kill him. The only thing that saved Chuck was his singing. The pizzeria owner thought he had a great voice and employed him to sing to his customers in the restaurant.

SPEAKER_07 1:12:21

Nope. And he took and he took revenge by killing all the children.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:26

Yeah, for real. This is this is screaming someone's real life story where they've replaced themselves with a rat. You know, they were like, so I was a vagabond for a bit and crashed in a pizza place, and they were gonna kick me out and call the cops, except they let me sing to them while I wash the dishes. This is what I'm feeling from the story.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:43

On his first night up on stage, Chuck was too afraid to sing and kept getting booed. Long story short, he saw a boy with a birthday crown and couldn't help but sing. The crowd cheered, and the pizzeria became the most popular spot in town forevermore. Perfect for families and birthday parties. It's fucking weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:00

It's super weird. So he couldn't sing until he saw a child, and that just made him light right up. And that is when he found his joy.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:07

Hey, that kid has a birthday. You know what? I've never had a birthday. Let me just fucking pour some joy into this room right now. I feel Chuck in these chilies tonight.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:18

No, it's problematic.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:19

I did find this other article though, and that is called All the Horrible Things That Have Happened at a Chuck E. Cheese, and it's giving a little bit of Walmart, I think. Some highlights. Massive brawl breaks out in Connecticut. After being told to tone it down by a manager, a 12-person brawl broke out after two women bumped into each other. Thankfully, no children were injured, and the police did not make any arrests.

unknown 1:13:43

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:44

Yeah. They just bumped into each other. Bumped into each other. Manager said to tone it down. Twelve people went ham. Twelve adults had it out at a Chuck E. Cheese. Better than five ghost kids going missing.

SPEAKER_07 1:13:57

I guess that's it's like two separate birthday parties are just like, fuck you, man.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:03

Walk in here.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:04

What's also wild is in 2015, a 63-year-old woman drove her car into a ditch and hit a telephone pole. This is some final destination shit, causing the tires to fly off her car and go through the window of a nearby Chuck E. Cheese which injured three kids.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:18

Holy shit. Nobody died, just injuries?

SPEAKER_04 1:14:21

Yeah, just injuries.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:22

Sean's like, oh well then in that case, yeah.

SPEAKER_07 1:14:24

Yeah. It's not as intense.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:26

There's another moment where a man picked up the wrong child after eating pizza. What? Wait, what? Yeah, he literally picked up the wrong kid and then almost walked away with him before he realized he had the wrong child.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:39

Oh no. I don't know what this is. He was drunk on Bud Light, so.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:43

Oh, here we are. Two men arrested for smoking heroin in Chuck E. G's bathroom.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:48

Yeah. Oh, sweet. Yeah. Has a c has a has a kid ever like shanked uh, you know, Chucky, like one of the animatronics, you know, or one of the uh one of the actress? Yeah. Has a kid just been like really upset that he lost a game and just like shivved him? That's what I want to know.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:04

With what? The plastic knife back?

SPEAKER_00 1:15:06

Yeah, whatever. You know, the yeah. They use the sharpness of that pizza.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:11

Uh I do also hate this one though. A suspicious man caught taking photos of children. So now the article's weird and I'm not gonna continue reading it.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:18

Oh, yeah. But okay, but has anyone pooped in the ball pits? That's what we all need to do. Of course.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:23

Of course that's happened. 100%.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:26

Oh, oh, okay. Sorry, I'm back on it. I'm back on my bullshit. A four-year-old finds white powder in the pizzeria, and then separately, Mr. Cheese gropes a mom.

SPEAKER_07 1:15:36

Nice.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:37

Someone who is dressed as Mr. Cheese groped a mother who was at the restaurant with her child. He looked out, reached out, grabbed her breast, and kept moving.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:46

Oh my god. His name? Ron Jeremy. That was his first job. That was his first job.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:54

Oh shit. And then there's another one in Pittsburgh where uh a fight involving as many fifty as many as fifty people broke out.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:02

Fifty.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:03

Because the father of a young boy got into an argument with his girlfriend. The girlfriend then went back inside and started arguing with the boy's mother.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:09

How do that many people fit into a Chalky Cheese to begin with? Is what I'm trying to say. I don't fucking know, bro.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:15

They used the term yins and and people weren't sure if they were talking to them, so they just joined in.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:20

Because Pittsburgh is weird.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:22

Wow. Yeah, this is why I don't fuck with Pittsburgh.

SPEAKER_07 1:16:25

Philadelphia in general.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:26

It's ridiculous.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:28

Two different sides of Pennsylvania. Yeah. I mean, really, it's just So the whole fucking state at that point? It is the whole state. It is the whole state. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:35

Just wanted to make sure you knew the geography on that one, because that didn't make much sense.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:40

I knew it. It's not imaginary geography. I knew exactly what I was saying. I I realized that my brain just might be doing weird things because the subjects of Disney Channel original movies has come up for a couple weeks now in a row in my subconscious. But the ending in this is giving Phantom of the Megaplex ending. Like in terms of like the style of story that you get, and just like everything kind of like wraps up immediately. You're just like, alright. That's just that not goosebumps, but like definitely Disney Channel original movie ending is what this ending feels like.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:13

Disney Channel original ending. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:17

You know what's crazy that you bring up Phantom of the Megaplex because the question at Trivia this week was what was the name of the movie that was premiering at Phantom of the Megaplex? Do you know the answer?

SPEAKER_04 1:17:28

I just watched this movie. You want to take a gander? Fuck, I don't have to think about it. I just watched this movie a few days ago, too. It's Midnight Mayhem. Ah, yeah. Look at us. Because then each fucking thing that happens during the night is a form of the mayhem. God damn it. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:44

But if you were thinking of a T-Rex like I was, there was a T-Rex involved at some point. But not the that's not the case.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:52

Okay. Hold on. Let's call this what it is. This is Sean and Binks trying to hack more after the meetup. Hold on. No. No way. No way. And this is. Hold on. No, no, no. Sean, I get it. But Binks, you're going soft hack. Now you're just defaulting to hack.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:12

No, no, I'm no. Because so here's the thing. I don't think it's a good movie. But like, for example, I'll give um, what was it? Uh Freaky is another one that ultimately I ended up slashing. You know what I mean? But like, it wasn't that great of a movie. But so it really should have been a hack for me, if anything. But I but I slashed it because it's like, well, it's not bad. But it's like, it's one of those things. A hack to me, like, this is one of those hacks where like it's not a good movie, but damn it, I'm gonna probably watch it because it's ridiculous and it's got Josh Hutchison in it.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:48

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:48

This is probably how people feel about Twilight, truthfully. I think that's a masterpiece. But people know it's a terrible movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:55

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:56

And somehow enjoy it.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:57

Listen, we got let's call the truth a truth. Hold on a second. No, no, I get what you're saying, and I'm following you down the path. I'm right there with you. However, there is nothing in this movie that is the equivalent of Kristen Stewart and the ketchup bottle. There's just not. Like, that's not a thing in this movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:14

Um, can't wait for the spoiler zone. Okay. Can't wait for the spoiler zone. All right. My girl from you, come on. Vanessa.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:22

Listen, was Vanessa Vanessing? Maybe, yeah, sure. But what I am saying is that the this movie, I don't think, is anywhere near as memeable in its performances as you're gonna have the Twilight recreations of the blinks and just like the fucking Edward Cullen of it all or the Jasper Stairs of it all. I think it's just two different ballparks for Twilight. I get what you're saying. I just don't think it's Twilight level. Where did you come from? Where did you go? Where did you come from? Cotton Alfreddy. Yeah, it's fucking terrible. Absolutely terrible.

SPEAKER_07 1:19:55

Yeah, absolutely. I also thought there was some like one funny moment that I think a lot of people can relate to, and that was that ice cream scene. It was just so funny with the lady that was trying to order the ice cream but being overly complicated. Like, who gets like, what was it, a Sunday and ask for the fudge on the side? Like, I don't know if anyone's been in like the service industry and had to deal with customers ordering that way, but it's fucking annoying as shit. And I could relate in that exact moment and be like, I'm putting that fucking fudge all over your ice cream.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:26

That must be how people feel at Starbucks, like the baristas at Starbucks when they start ordering some crazy ass shit.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:32

Oh, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:33

Man.

SPEAKER_07 1:20:33

For sure. There are people, because I did used to work at Starbucks, and there are people that would literally be like, I need one and a half Splenda packets in there. I was like, can you even fucking taste the difference between one and a half and two Splenda packets? I fucking bet not, because I'm gonna put two in there and you're not gonna say shit.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:51

You are exactly, you are exactly why I end up getting lettuce on my shit when I ask for there to not be lettuce.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:58

No, though that that kind of stuff I can understand. My my bursts are friends.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:02

Meanwhile, I'm just I'm just a chill person who doesn't want lettuce. And you're like, you fucking taste the difference and there's lettuce or no lettuce? Yes, Sean, I can. It's awful.

SPEAKER_07 1:21:10

No, I can understand holding something you don't like. Like, I don't want lettuce. I don't like tomato. I want that off. I'm talking about these frickin' specifics, okay? Like we had a guy that would literally count the ice cubes you put into his fucking drink. No fucking way, dude. You know, just chill the fuck out.

SPEAKER_04 1:21:26

You know, think about inclusivity. He probably has a lot of compulsive things and a lot of things going on. Chris, Chris, stop.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:34

No, not the potential thing that you're doing. No way. Sorry, but no.