305: Black Friday (2021)

SPEAKER_02 0:04

Are people sitting on that chair and getting infected through the butt?

SPEAKER_01 0:12

Greetings and salutations and welcome to Hack or Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Ready for the shit show? If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack.

SPEAKER_02 0:25

A total joke? A waste of time.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Or a slash.

SPEAKER_02 0:28

Totally killer.

SPEAKER_03 0:29

Pun intended.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

We believe horror is for everyone and adds such a ray in these movies for the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris. I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superflight Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

This is some next level basalt shit.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

The classic horror connoisseur Sean.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Oh, so more like consensual fuck partners.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

And the paranormal paramour, Biggs.

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Your men. So hunky. They don't make them like that anymore.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

This week we're checking out a holiday film that drops us into a Toy Story on the busiest retail day of the year. And the checkout lines aren't the only things that bite. Before we bust down those doors, though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_03 1:07

Let's follow up on a movie. We recently watched the masterpiece, in my opinion. That is 28 days later. And we wanted to know what you all thought. So we held a poll, and 72% of you slashed it, and 28% of you hacked it.

SPEAKER_01 1:21

I think this is important to break down because the 28% shows that clearly there is more than fucking me. First off, I slashed the movie, but because I have some criticisms, folks, coming for me about, you know, daring to not love every ounce of that movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

I thought you were gonna mention like the 28% fitting the title of the movie because that's an odd number to land on.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

It's honestly way better to point out, but really it's the solidarity for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

I honestly just noticed that right now, so that's fantastic. But I agree. It is important to point out that there is a 28%, and they deserve to be seen. I'm just shocked that there are 28%, nonetheless. I don't know, I just feel like I thought this movie was universally understood as like a really good film, and I'm mistaken, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Yeah, apparently mistaken. But hey, we're all a little bit different, and that's what makes us amazing. So we wanted some of your comments, we got some of them. EC Sparza says, I hate zombie movies, but I'll watch this whenever. And I feel that.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

I could see that though. I can see it.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

It's giving you are the only exception.

SPEAKER_00 2:28

Yes, only exception. And in a way, though, the argument could be that this is not a zombie film to begin with, so could be why. Just saying.

SPEAKER_02 2:37

Ah, semantics. It kinda is, but it's not your typical zombie type thing, so I can see how people that don't like the old school zombies can get into this.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

I know.

SPEAKER_03 2:48

Yeah, I get it. But hey, Marnie says, Killian Murphy, hello.

SPEAKER_00 2:53

I answer the phone because absolutely yes.

SPEAKER_03 2:56

And some folks are still fans of zombies. Vicker Treat says, it's okay. I actually prefer other zombies to this, like the Dawn of the Dead remake.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Hell yeah, Vicker Treat. Thank you so much. I understand the zombie part because it did. We've talked about this already on the episode, but I just it's so funny that it continues to come up and it's like, but they're infected people. They're not zombies. It's still within the general realm. It's me and my semantics. Don't listen to me.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

Yeah, you gotta feel the vibes or whatever. Toastmaster says the intro sequence was utterly compelling, the violence intense zombies gave me fear.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

That definitely was fantastic. The intro sequence is one of the fave scenes for sure.

SPEAKER_03 3:36

And lastly, Martin Strand says, I can't really put my finger on it, but I think it's too slow, and I just don't enjoy these fast, quote unquote, zombies.

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Too slow, fast zombies. Sean, you got it.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

They're inversely related, but you gotta slow down the zombies to make the movie faster. That's how that works. Noted. Now we'd like to take a moment to thank some of our new patrons, Casilda and Jake. Welcome to the family. So good to have you here. Sit down, pull up a chair. You know, let's make you a plate. Take all the leftovers with you, though. We don't want any left in this house.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

Heck yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Now, as this is releasing on Black Friday, we're also dropping new merchandise in the merch store. Check the link in our show notes to add some sweet hackerslash gear to your collection. We've got new stickers, a stylish pillow, and new shirts to wrap your favorite horror movie review podcast. That's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_01 4:23

Well, this week's film cowdopholts us into the chaos of the ultimate consumer showdown, but they aren't fighting over the latest toy. They're fighting over survival itself. Because when the clock strikes midnight and a local toy store opens their doors, a parade of shoppers turned monstrosities floods in. With a star-studded horror cast featuring the legendary Bruce Campbell, the film weaves a story that's part survival epic, part dark comedy, all under the dizzying fluorescent lights of consumerism gone wild. With practical effects that harken back to the glory days of horror, this movie doesn't just push products off the shelves. It sends them flying across the store in an all-out battle for Dawn. It's a tale where teamwork and terror go hand in hand, and the special offers include a side of sheer mayhem. Buckle up for the worst shift imaginable folks, because this week we're talking about Black Friday. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_02 5:10

I actually have never even heard of this movie before. Didn't know it existed. I literally had no idea this movie came out a couple years ago. It's news to me.

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Also news to me. Never heard of it in my entire life.

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Yeah, you know, I didn't realize that it existed either. I saw it in some kind of holiday horror movie list somewhere, and I was like, oh, this whoa, Bruce Campbell. We have to watch this now. And so I'm I'm glad that we're watching it as a team and not just me on my own. Because I would have, simply for the Bruce Campbell of it all.

SPEAKER_01 5:38

Yeah, I actually hadn't heard of this at all until Mac recommended it in our group chat. But I think considering the fact that it has Bruce Campbell, considering the fact that it has Devin Sawa and looking at even the quality of the poster, I was expecting good, polished, campy, fun. Nothing super crazy, nothing that was going to be particularly intense in the way of its gore. I was expecting something schlocky, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Yeah, I don't know. As soon as I saw the poster art for this movie, my mind immediately went to camp. I just felt like that's what this movie is all about. This movie looks like it's going to be a campy B movie type horror for sure. Like a campy, slightly shitty modern Dawn of the Dead or something is what is what I was expecting out of this movie. How could you really go wrong? I was thinking with Bruce Campbell, Michael J. White, and Divon Sawa, right? Like, come on.

SPEAKER_00 6:34

Apparently you can. And you might. Because here's what I was thinking on the other flip side of things. When I saw that Mac recommended this and it had Bruce Campbell on, I was like, he's trying to do something to me. Is this like payback for my evil dead comments all year? Yes. You know, wasn't Bubba Hotep enough, you know? No. So I saw it and I was like, let me brace myself for impact. It was giving straight to Tubi. But you know what? I was like, since this is the case and the cover is already giving me this, let's not look into it any further. I'm not gonna even try to understand or get more context. I'm going off of the movie poster and I'm pressing play. But obviously the title gives away at least one big plot point, which is a set in Black Friday. As a former Black Friday shopper myself, I mean, we unpack that in B-sides, but you know, I was like, well, this is gonna be an interesting one to talk about at the very least. So I'll try to give it some grace because I understand that I'm gonna be a little bit of the minority when it comes to Black Friday talking.

SPEAKER_03 7:33

If you see the poster for this, that alone, right? Looking at the cast, that looks great. I think your expectations for camp are pretty realistic. You know, I think Bruce Campbell is basically the king of B movies, whether it's sci-fi horror or whatever. So I was also expecting some camp. I was expecting some gore, and I was also expecting just a lot of one-liners, just like left and right.

SPEAKER_01 7:54

Man, one-liners, considering Bruce Campbell, I almost was surprised that there wasn't more of them, but the campiness really got me for this one. And listen, going through this, I felt a couple major things. One, what a fucking total nightmare scenario this is. Listen, Black Friday and working in retail on Black Friday is already a little bit of that energy, right? But what I loved most about this experience is this feeling of relatability in the experiences and the dynamics between people working in retail on a Black Friday because it was giving commiseration at its finest.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

Yeah, and it's waiting, or I think that movie, I don't know if you remember watching that, but there's also a couple other movies that like show the plight of the working class, right? But I think just watching this, I it felt like just easy fun, right? You didn't really have to pay a lot of attention, you really didn't have to like have a lot of emotional investment. It's goofy, it's goofy on purpose. And and so it's one of those things where it's perfect for Black Friday. I think if you've got the time to just like chill out and it's during the holidays you need to unwind, this is that vibe. It's low stakes.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

It is goofy, right? The comedy landed in some areas, but it also fell flat in other areas as well. It was hit or miss. Like it was definitely goofy, is the right way to put it. I think the film also felt a little rushed from like the character development to the way the plot unfolded. The the movie doesn't give you much, so it can feel a bit random in a way. I don't know if that's the best word for it, but yeah, I I think it is like you said, Mac, if you just put it on and you're just trying to have a good time, it's goofy, it's fun, it's not supposed to be super serious, so I think you just got to go into it with the right mindset.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

I want to go back to what you were saying, Sean, about it feeling a little random because I think that was my overall feeling watching this film, because since it felt random or maybe just a little bit rushed, there wasn't a lot of investment for me personally in any of these characters. Some of the dialogue and the conflict between them was like honestly bullshit, considering the much greater peril that they're in. I I guess that's the part where it's like, let's lean into the idea that this is a parody, this is supposed to be goofy, this is supposed to be ridiculous, and that it is. There's definitely some savage lines here that I appreciated and loved that had me laughing, one or two characters that I enjoyed watching, but just overall was like, it was okay. It was slight fun, but nothing that like had me cackling on the floor type deal, right? Considering, again, seeing Bruce Campbell. And I was like, well, maybe it'll be really funny this time around. Maybe I can, you know, I can do this. So you expected some more comedy than you really got. But the kind of comedy that I would enjoy, like I wanted Evil Dead laughter again, you know? Like the first Evil Dead movie, kind of laughter and kind of jokes and his that kind of personality. I didn't want Bubba Hotep or Army of Darkness type stuff. No offense. Not the no one get upset, no one get upset, let's all relax. Can we get what I'm trying to put down, you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_01 10:56

I guess I just don't even really think about Army of Darkness and Bubba Hotep comedy. That is one particular end of the spectrum. But then I think about within horror comedies, I think about Tucker and Dale versus Evil and being like a laugh out loud, like it gets me good laughing. And maybe I'm just in this sweet spot of not really vibing with comedies that much. That this actually was not a bad experience for me in terms of that. I think once we get started into the movie, there's this dynamic of it almost feeling like a B horror movie comedy that almost in some ways spoofs some of the classic horror movies. And I don't want to spoil too much and set you up with uh some of the dynamics or the plot mechanics and and how we get to where we get to in this movie, but it felt charming and almost innocent in a way. You know, to your point, Binx, there's like a lot of this dialogue. You're like, wait, why are we doing this when there's so much more peril at stake? But to me, that was the fucking point, because that is retail. There are so many bigger fucking things happening, and these people over here being petty to each other. And I think this movie captures it in a way that the movie Slacks also captured it on Shudder. And that was like a really good dynamic. So for me, there wasn't a whole lot surprising about it because I didn't go in with the highest of expectations, but I got that polished campy fun. I will say that the one disappointment I had was like a very obscure thing. There's a comment where uh one of the characters says, Everybody listen up, and then you get like a little bit of like a musical hit, a little bit of a musical sting and a jingle. And then right before that, we get introduced to Bruce Campbell's character, but it's almost like the editing was just slightly off. And that fucking tainted the rest of my viewing experience because I was like, man, this movie is so close, but it's not quite there because it just wasn't timed right. I think it just like was hyperfixating on it. I'm like, fucking undo it, please fix it.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I don't know if that threw me off. I was more disappointed in the overall plot of the movie, but I think that what surprised me the most out of the movie was how fun the special effects and makeup effects were. I'm not saying they were great by any means, but what I'm saying is they were fun and they were hilarious and super campy in a lot of different areas, and it's just one of those things that sometimes so bad that it just makes you laugh.

SPEAKER_00 13:18

For sure, Sean. That was what surprised me too. I was like, man, it's giving the thing in Cronenberg a bit, which was kind of impressive, and some particular things that happen was reminding me of some very gross stuff that I didn't even share with Chris, and I will not share tonight because I'll spare everyone, but it's not pleasant. No.

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Don't spare us. Let's hear it.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

Yeah, come on. No, we've already done ginger snaps, there's no need. However, I did have a slight disappointment with it because it wasn't the practical effects, it was the CGI that was used every now and then, and especially you know, as we get to the third act or like the ending, that I was like, this is way too stark of a difference. But again, this is where this is like, okay, obviously, that's the gag, that's the camp of it all, that's the point. So I'll let it pass.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

See, I was mostly just disappointed that I didn't get more Bruce Campbell, especially with a mustache. Like he's on the poster, but he's got such little screen time in my eyes. And maybe that's on purpose, maybe it's so you get your big star, at least uh in certain circles, and then you know, you you use him for a little bit, but he's not there, he's not the main character, and that's always a bummer for me because Bruce Campbell's always the main character in my eyes. But that's a nitpick. It's a small disappointment. I really hope that he was going to be in more of it, kind of like Baba Hotep, like basically the whole movie. That's just always, I think, something that I'm hoping for in life.

SPEAKER_00 14:41

That's fair though, because he literally is the center of the poster. So it's good that we're kind of setting that expectation for everyone. He is not the main character, he's just the most famous person in the movie.

SPEAKER_03 14:52

It's interesting though, like it's a fun movie in my eyes. It's a silly movie, it's goofy for sure. It's just not it's not a very scary movie, even though it's a horror movie, even though there's monstrous things going on. I don't know that it's meant to really scare you. It's not set up like big jump scares left and right. It's not set up where you're looking down a hallway and suddenly a child shows up or anything silly like that. It's really just like it's set in a horror universe. It's fun, crazy stuff happens. I'm I'm down for it, but it's not frightening at all.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Okay, hear me out. You're absolutely right. This is not a horror movie that is built to scare you. However, I will say, going back to the original sentiments that I had watching this movie, what a nightmare fucking scenario. Like, imagine fucking going to work on Thanksgiving. You already have to leave your family to go to your fucking job, and then all of a sudden you're probably gonna die there. That fucking sucks. That's a nightmare scenario. That's point one. Point two, it's also just the anxiety of it all. Like, I'm I'm thinking about some of the chaos of these people in this establishment. I'm thinking about the dynamics between the staff, and I'm thinking, like, man, if I worked there, I'd be so fucking like on a 13 out of on a scale of 10, like with my levels of fucking anxiety and just like dealing with other people. Man, this movie, again, not a serious fear, not a serious dose of really anything, but so good at capturing some nuance that I was like, ooh, I feel that shit a little bit too much.

SPEAKER_02 16:24

Dang. You could probably literally just record like the opening of a retail store on Black Friday, and it would be a horror movie. Like you could just do that. It would be like a new found footage horror movie. But yeah, I think that despite the one or two jump scare attempts throughout the movie, this movie is not scary at all. I I don't think it's really trying to be either. To I I think Mac, you were saying it. I don't think it's trying to be super scary. It's this is really a silly, campy, low budget type horror movie. It's the kind of stuff that I feel like I had a lot of fun with as a teenager.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

They do have some jump scares, and it's so small and but it's like so quick too that I don't think they were trying to make that the big effective method, right? So I I agree with you on that one too.

SPEAKER_01 17:11

I think what really works though in the favor of it not being scary is again capturing some of this almost wholesome energy, and maybe it is the effects that are getting me, maybe it's just the nature of what's happening in this movie. It was reminding me of even the charm of the blob. You know what I mean? Like there's a mysterious thing, it's happening. We don't know how, we don't know why exactly, but we're just forced to contend with it and try to navigate the situation. And I think you can do that with the context of so many other subgenres of horror, right? It it maybe it's not an amorphous blob, maybe it's zombies, maybe it's something else, but there is this tried and true method of just like, man, it's us versus them, but also the real horror is how we interact with each other. And it's not original, but it's just fun. You've seen this movie before, but you haven't seen it with Bruce Campbell and Devin Saw, and it's a fine time.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Yeah, that's the thing about this movie, is that in essence, we have seen this movie before. It's really just another survivalist horror film amongst a plethora of survivalist horror films out there, right? At least it went in slightly a different direction than the classic reanimate dead type scenario. This movie kind of feels like if From Beyond the Thing and Dawn of the Dead got put into a fucking blender or something and spat this movie out.

SPEAKER_00 18:39

I was also thinking The Mist actually a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Obviously bigger scale. But correct me if I'm wrong though, like what I found original was that it was set on Black Friday specifically. Like, do we have any other Black Friday related films that I could think of?

SPEAKER_03 18:54

I can't think of any at the top of my head. I think I thought of a different classic horror movie, and I don't want to say it because it'll legitimately give away what goes on with the antagonists. And I just think like what makes it unique is I think the retail experience. It's kind of like what we had going on with Slax. Slax, I think, was a much higher level of humor. This one here, there's nothing wrong with not being high-level humor, but I think what makes this one a little bit special is that it's all about retail workers. Uh, it's not like we're following a family on Black Friday. It's not like people are getting trapped in a store and they're having to fight to survive and you know, shooting their kids in a car when the tanks show up. But I think what's special here is this is about the workers. They make jokes, they're crass, they're really tired before they even get there. And I think that's what I love about it. Is it original in terms of like the baddies? No, like definitely not. It doesn't need to be though.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

With the execution of that though, like, yeah, okay, originality with its baddies, it really leans into those baddies as we get into the third act, and that is where the movie started to lose me a bit. Not with what happens approaching the climax, but Banks, I think you even mentioned what we see in terms of like some of the CGI. And I think a lot of it is more practical than you would expect, but even looking at that, and just I remember the feeling that I got experiencing what is supposed to be some of like the most climactic action in this movie, and I just thought, huh, well, it's happening. I mean, at the end of it, it's still a satisfying conclusion to the story, in my opinion. Like it was a fine time. This is holiday horror that's not that deep. So this is some bullshit I would watch on a Black Friday, and it's fine. However, it was definitely not, I think, the same quality of experience that we had in the first two-thirds of the film. I couldn't agree more.

SPEAKER_00 20:49

At this point, once we get to the ending, I was like, yeah, if it isn't clear that this movie is just a parody of the retail experience or just like a silly camp kind of movie, then I don't know what will because this is the poster child of that kind of theme or trope, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 21:07

God, the ending though. They landed that plane in oatmeal. It was so, so bland, right? I mean, honestly, it's the worst bit of the movie. It's like really sudden, it's pretty anticlimactic. And like who you know, who who cares or whatever, but like at the same time, you want better. You want more for the characters in the film than than what happens in the ending. It's unclear as you end. Oh, wait, did the movie just end? Right. Right? Like, is there more?

SPEAKER_02 21:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:33

And I hope there's not like a uh post-credit scene that I completely missed or anything.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

No.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

The credit started rolling and I turned it off, and I was just like, oh, underwhelmed.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

That was it. That's all you get. And yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of the ending, I'll be honest. It it's not the worst ending in the world, but you know, there was just something about it that didn't really sit right with me. Maybe it's because we don't get enough explanation or we don't get the climactic ending. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Hmm. Okay. That I can vibe with on a particular level. I think though that what we get with that vibe, we do feel and see even before we get to a lot of the action in this movie. But the reality is that if this movie has three legs and the ending is one of them, it's a fucking broken leg. I think we can just acknowledge that. But we'll see how it impacts its ultimate rating before we actually score this movie. Sean, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_02 22:27

So do I think it's the kind of gore that feels too real and makes you cringe? No, I don't think so. It's like the fly or the thing, but not as good. Maybe Evil Dead or Evil Dead 2 are a better example, but still not as good. It's not on that level, but it's there. Nonetheless, I think there was a decent amount of like goopy, gory effects in this movie, and there's enough blood and guts to earn itself, I think, a high gore score.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

And what about the animal report? Animals are safe from Black Friday shoppers. Let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. Black Friday from 2021. Was it a hack or a slash?

SPEAKER_03 23:08

You know, I suggested it, and I'm glad I did, honestly. I think Black Friday is a silly, campy, simple, low-stakes, fun kind of movie. It's the kind of B movie you can throw on and invest really very little emotion into and just turn off your brain. Yeah, the ending is weak sauce, for sure. But I think it's a slash for being an easy watch, and I'm definitely here for the short runtime, Bruce Campbell, Casper the Friendly Ghost, and alien zombie mutant monsters who do just enough to make it into the horror genre.

SPEAKER_00 23:36

Well, I don't know what to make of this movie, to be honest. It's definitely not as bad as I expected it to be, but it is heavy leaning on that be horror side of things like you mentioned, Mac, that I continuously struggle with, though. I I don't know. I I'm really on this back and forth journey with this bee horror camp type situation. The characters felt pretty generic and more concerned about certain woes of retail than a rampant infection and potential apocalypse, which I guess is the retail experience. And maybe because I haven't worked in retail, that's my you know flaw, right? That's where I can't relate and don't get it. But I respect all of you extremely. So trust that. But that being said, although it did have some laughs and I did enjoy some parts and the gross factor, I was surprised by your gore score, Sean, but I could agree with it. It just wasn't enough to save itself from being a hack in my books.

SPEAKER_02 24:34

Yeah, so I can see a lot of people hating this movie. I get it. There's very little character development, and what we do get is just shoved in there. The plot can get a little bit ridiculous at times, but you get what you get when you set out to watch a horror movie like this. This film doesn't take itself too seriously, and it's not asking you to either. This is a B movie, and when you watch a B movie, you aren't looking for a whole lot of depth when it comes to the plot or the character development. That's the thing you have to remember here. You certainly aren't expecting like an Academy Award-winning plot, right? You're not or anything like that. This is just a fun, slightly bad, campy, absurd movie, and I had a good time watching it, so I think it deserves a slash.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

Okay, look, this movie isn't a great time, but it's still a fun time for me. And I think that is about all that you can expect when you go into a movie starring Bruce Campbell from the 2020-ish decade, and it's a holiday film. Let's just identify what it is that we're working with. If you go into this and you get a few chuckles, honestly, it'd be a good time. But I think what really pushed this movie over the edge for me was how much I enjoyed the characters. Because yes, they were caricatures of the retail experience. Absolutely. They were definitely exaggerations, but also I fucking know some of those people. Like I have met those people before in my life. And that was a particular level of charm that really helped carry this movie in spite of its other flaws. Listen, we established an episode 300. I tend to like some bullshit. This is some bullshit. However, when you're commemorating a holiday that maybe you're reluctant to enjoy or observe in any way, this one feels like solidarity. And for that, it gets a nice whimsical, charming slash. And with that, Black Friday from 2021 has earned three slashes and one hack. Now you can find this movie streaming online. It's available to run. You can check the link in our show notes to see where you can find it right now. But go check it out. Then join us in the second half so we can door bust those deals together. I'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_03 26:51

Parents raised yourselves for the perfect holiday gift that's more reality checked in playtime. If you're tired of the sugar-coated fantasy of typical toys, we've got the perfect antidote. Pity me Dennis, the tiny mentor for life's inevitable letdowns. Picture this. Your little ones don't just play house, they play post-divorce single-parent budget edition. With this adorable talking plush. Equipped with realistic gripes and groans, they'll learn the ropes of adulting. From paying taxes to juggling alimony payments, or from the dissatisfaction of trying to piss at 2 a.m. with an enlarged prostate, to discovering the therapeutic wonders of listening to early 2000s alt rock. But wait, there's more. Pity Me Dennis comes complete with a spare pair of miniature white Oakley sunglasses, the ultimate accessory for facing life's disappointments, but the big hint of misplaced swagger. Watches your kids, armed with their tiny shades, take on the world with Pity Me Dennis at their side, or at least the portion they can afford after the divorce settlement. And for those moments of existential crisis, Pity Me Dennis includes a pack of miniature cigarettes. Because let's be honest, nothing says I'm dealing with life's struggles like a pint-sized pretend smoke break. This holiday season, give the gift of laughter in the face of adversity. Pity Me Dennis is available now at Toy Stores Near You. Hooray! Because even in the darkest moments, there's room for things to feel just a little more bleak. Pity Me Dennis. Because growing up is tough. But with a cynical sense of humor and a cough that won't go away, it's a bit more bearable. Get yours today and let the unbearable burden of existence pacify your most hyperactive little ones.

SPEAKER_02 28:52

Yeah, so we have a total of 28 kills andor deaths accounted for throughout the duration of this film and God knows how many others scattered throughout the city or the world. We don't really know the scale of this infestation, really, right? So with that being said, I can't wait to talk about these kills. So let's get into it. What were your favorite kills?

SPEAKER_01 29:16

Okay. So many funny ones, to be clear. Man, I I'm gonna circle back to any that you may have missed, but I'm gonna say for my favorite, it's gotta be Ruth looking out the glass, getting run the fuck over.

SPEAKER_02 29:31

It's so good. A police officer or whatever.

SPEAKER_03 29:35

I think they do a good job here of having some kills that like aren't direct, they're not like deliberate or on purpose. My my favorite is pretty similar. It's Anita getting taken out as collateral damage. And I think that's like such a nice touch. If everyone has to get killed with a monstrosity taking them on one, okay, it can kind of get boring after a while, but it's like you got got because somebody else got got, and that's awesome. It's as if they made the thing, and while the thing was changing out of one of the bodies, somebody got like punched in the throat. That's the effectively what we had happen here.

SPEAKER_01 30:08

Yeah. Anita's death, a fun little situation. Emmet was a little sad. I mean, first day in a retail store. I doubt you really want to fucking be there. Welcome to hell. No, yeah, no fucking kidding. Also, bless his heart. Uh, he was really, he'd be like, I would have shown that person where it was. I would have made sure they found it. You know, we can all aspire to have that effort. I would have loved to have Emmet on my team. But Anita and the throat punch? Now that talk about tongue punch in a fucking Reese's. She got throat punched.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Dude, the throat punch with the nasty parasite dick coming out of Emmett's mouth. Come on. Yikes.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

A parasitic dick.

SPEAKER_03 30:47

Yeah, that is some deep throat right there.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

I want to go back to Ruth because I initially thought that she hadn't been hit by the car somehow. Like, we was just so fast. I was like, man, she should have like gotten got by that car. No, she definitely did. And good for that. I mean, terrible. Feel bad for her, but also it was hilarious. My favorite kill was definitely Brian, the manager, because come on, bro. Like, you really thought that whole speech was gonna be what takes down this massive ass thing.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

I can manage this.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Let's stop being ridiculous. He was funny throughout the movie for sure, but I just thought this in particular was a nice little nugget of gold.

SPEAKER_02 31:23

It was hilarious, just getting like flicked into oblivion.

SPEAKER_01 31:26

Yeah. Listen, Brian in his little Braveheart speech. I mean, sometimes internally, we all have to be a little Brian. We have to walk into this thinking, like, there's no way this shit's gonna go down. And I've walked into situations at work where I'm like, fuck, this looks like as Sean described in our notes, hold on. I want to just write this flick to his death by Godzilla Mutated Alien Parasite Lord. What a fucking great description, Sean.

SPEAKER_02 31:53

It's intense sometimes. I think Archie's death was kind of fun too. Like the way the weird parasite thing grabs hold of his face and pulls him up, and we don't really see much after that, but we see like the guts or whatever just fall to the floor afterwards. I was like, dang, that was I liked that. That was good.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

You know what it reminded me of? It reminded me of that kill in Five Nights of Freddy's.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

Yeah, okay, yeah, for sure. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

But also, R.I.P. Archie, you didn't deserve it, and I was so sad to see you go. Obviously, he would have had to go, I guess, because he was so fucking level-headed and so capable that the movie would have been too easy with him in it, apparently. But damn, I just wanted him to keep going.

SPEAKER_02 32:37

Archie was like a G, dude. Like he just came up and just like nail gunning people in the head. Like, come on, man. He was stepping his game up. He should have lasted a little bit longer, in my opinion. I wanted to see more kills from Archie.

SPEAKER_03 32:50

I was really hoping he would make it at least all the way to the very, very end. He didn't have to go all the way, but like at least carry the group because he truly was carrying the group. He was like their own little commando going on. It was like the equalizer, but in a horror movie.

SPEAKER_02 33:04

Yeah, that's true. So we get that visual of what looks to be Santa's chair, and there's the stain on the chair. Are people sitting on that chair and getting infected through the butt? Is that what's happening? I'm just observing here the facts that I see. I'm piecing it together.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

No, it also reminds me, God. How you really can just notice the smallest of things, such as that. I'm gonna have to go back and I'm gonna have to look at the what the ass cheek sweat stains of this Santa Claus chair.

SPEAKER_02 33:37

Yeah, there was something under the chair too, I thought, but it's hinting at this whole like entering that way because like what happened to the truck driver Lou? Like he went to go take a shit and he got infected. What happened in that toilet? Oh, straight from the ass, yeah. What happened in that toilet? Just saying. I'm piecing it together. The facts don't lie.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

It's just an easy entry for the organism. True. The thing was underneath the chair at some point, though. Okay, yeah. Did you see it? It was under there and it was like slithering away.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

Okay, so that's what I'm saying. Not the slithering away. Well, slithering in the asshole. So that's kind of what happens.

SPEAKER_02 34:14

Slithering right in there.

SPEAKER_01 34:16

Speaking of the thing under the chair, actually, the way that this thing transmits its infection or the way that it spreads, absolutely phenomenal. But I think we have to acknowledge how uncomfortable this shit looks. Because listen, you can't tell me that alien shit was not a cum shot.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I didn't want to be the one to say it first.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

No, Chris texted me afterwards and said it was giving infinity pool. Meanwhile, I didn't even fully admit it at the time, but it's giving cum and some other female bodily fluids as well. Not gonna lie. So either way, it's disgusting. And instantly I was like, oh, I gotta turn this movie off. Yeah. This is not the place to be watching this.

SPEAKER_01 34:59

Okay, it was intense, right? And then we see so much of it that it's like no thank you. However, I do want to acknowledge how great I think the practical effects are in this movie. And again, there are more practical effects than you would expect. So at the end of the movie, Bang said, I don't know if this is where you also fell off the bandwagon for this movie. Maybe you actually fell off long before this, but we have the 80 fucking foot tall monstrosity coming out of the top of the store, right? That was an actor in a practical suit. They filmed someone in a practical suit in front of a green screen and scaled up.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

Amazing. That's beautiful. That's classic B movie. I love it.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

I love that shit. The look of this alien glop, goo, etc., the pulsating, the throbbing, all of it was giving classic fucking sci-fi horror film from like the 50s. Absolutely ate that shit right up. Also, shout out to Emmett, who is the fucking son of Robert Kurtzman who did the effects.

SPEAKER_02 36:01

There you go. The family business.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

The effects were absolutely fucking stellar. But can we take a little walk down memory lane for the previous work of Robert Kurtzman and the work that we may have already seen on this show? Let's throw it back to Evil Dead 2, Halloween 5, The Revenge of Michael Myers, a movie that we have coming up next year, Love of the Face, Texas Chainsaw, Massacre 3, Misery, The People Under the Stairs, Army of Darkness, Scream, The Faculty, 13 Ghosts, Bubba Hotep, It Follows, Ma Doctor Sleep, and Fear Street Part 2. This man has gotten some fucking mileage on Hackerslash.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

See, that's just some range right there. That's an impressive range as well. There's just such a variety going on. And there's something about the effects in this movie. I mean, I love practical effects. I love them so much. I just think it feels way more tangible when you're watching the movie. But it's like, this is a B movie. You really don't have to try that hard. And yet somehow it feels like they kind of did, and it paid off.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

Practical effects in the makeup for me definitely was like my favorite visual in the movie because, yeah, sure, some of it looked like god-awful, but it was hilarious and so campy. And because it was awful in some way, I found myself rather enjoying it to be honest. Like it was super fun, and I think that's what makes some of these B movies really great. Like, if you if you plug in CGI into one of these movies, it's terrible. Like it's just not gonna fit, it's gonna look bad out of place. Like this. I mean, I guess there was maybe some, I don't know, CGI in there, possibly, but the effects that they had, the makeup, I think, for the mutated people looked pretty good. So there was a good mix of stuff that looked good and enough stuff that looked bad, but when it looked bad, it didn't feel out of place where it's just like this movie sucks. It looked out of place to make me laugh.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

I want to highlight also the set design and just the store itself. I mentioned earlier, it was reminding me a bit of the mist, a bit. I think like the use of space was great. There was a lot of intricate details that were put into everything, the signage for every aisle. Like I always really noticing and taking a look at all of the brands that they were faking or and whatnot. I thought that was really cool. Trying to understand what kind of store were they trying to emulate. It was giving Walmart, it was kind of giving a little bit of Toys R Us or Target. It's like a combination of all those things.

SPEAKER_02 38:31

It was filmed in an old baby's RS.

SPEAKER_00 38:34

There you go. That's really cool. I I love that you they kind of just like, well, baby's RS in and of itself, right? A little bit of a TBT there. But I appreciate that they even when they probably didn't need to use an entire abandoned baby's RS, they really made sure that all of it was utilized so that even in the wide shots you could see that it's all decorated. This is a whole store and using different spaces and aisles, even the back room, all this other stuff.

SPEAKER_03 39:02

I am perturbed by the idea that all backrooms are all inventory rooms or all stock rooms are somehow dark. That seems strange to me. Out of all the stores I've ever been in, the back rooms they're usually very well lit, but maybe I haven't been in enough retail stores. I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:17

No, you've just been in reputable ones.

SPEAKER_03 39:19

Perhaps. Perhaps. Never been in a we love toys. Visually, the baddies in this movie, they were a lot of fun to look at, especially as we see them changing over time as well, varying degrees of becoming gross, but also just the actual characters, the human characters in this film, their whole like uniform for work and everything felt like an actual uniform for work. I mean, even to the point of getting bitched at for not having a shirt tucked in. That's real life right there in many places. But I think they like spent a lot of time focusing on detail. That's what it felt like. Whether or not they did, I'm not sure. But yeah, you can look through the store and you can see all the little toys everywhere. They're grabbing toys off the shelves, and normally in stores, in movies, they have like one or two items. These shelves were like fully stocked, but the people working in this store were decked out, even like to the person who's handling inventory. Michael J. White's like got like the whole like loading setup, little back brace. It was perfect. I really decked him out to the nines in the film. And I and I and I do love that attention to detail, whether it was human or mutant.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

Man, the appearance of things was just top-notch in this movie, and that's what I'm talking about when it when we think about like a polished, campy horror movie. Now, I know why that I had this gripe about the editing that happened pretty early in this movie, but one thing that I loved in particular, and I'm so sorry to take it back to the pulsating alien mess. My favorite fucking scene in this entire movie is opening up on Thanksgiving. There's already someone banging on the glass outside, they're begging to be let in, and then we have Monty who ends up going. So he discovers this thing, it's frightening, it's suspenseful. But what I loved most, and this is where it like I felt like it really set the tone from like, okay, this is gonna be a good fun, campy little sci-fi situation. It was the intensifying heartbeat as he's getting closer and closer, and then he's like screaming in horror. I just loved the fucking entire opening of that movie.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

It was a good opening for sure.

SPEAKER_01 41:19

Too bad they didn't end it as well, but I know when you go so big, right?

SPEAKER_03 41:23

You can either land the plane really well or you can just let it land in oatmeal, like I mentioned earlier. And they really should have slimmed down and gone smaller scale because the small scale of that opening scene, I think, is what makes it brilliant. There's literally three human beings and then one thing. That's all you need for it to be successful. I think my favorite scene is when things started to unwind. Homeboy has to take out his first mutant, but we don't know exactly. I mean, we know what's going on, right, as a viewer, but there everyone else inside the film is like, why on earth is our employee attacking a customer? It doesn't make sense, right? But we got to see it all happen. It's just like perfect though, because you're in a toy store. And so you have to use whatever props are available in a toy store. You're not in a hardware store, you don't have axes, you don't have machetes, you have like bouncy balls, and that's just that's like a perfect setup.

SPEAKER_02 42:13

There's just so many things in this movie that are just hilarious, right? Like there's so many moments. It's hard to say that there's any one scene that was just incredible, but there's so many moments throughout the film that I think are just hilarious. There's that beginning part where they're flipping through the TV or whatever, the news or whatever it was, and they just flip right past the important warnings on the news in those beginning scenes where they're just like they're trying to tell you that there's something going on, but you can't be bothered to watch the news, so flip right past it to something else. That's definitely something that I would do.

SPEAKER_00 42:49

That reminded me of Sean of the Dead.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 42:52

That was very Sean of the Dead. Loved that part for sure. My favorite scene, actually, we talked about him earlier, but it is Archie. I think that whole moment, it was like, Alright, let's go, kick some ass. I think one of my favorite lines is I've got your door busters right here, motherfucker. It's so silly, but I loved it so much. I was like, that was clever. And it actually landed with me, so I thought that was fun. But such a badass. I think that whole fight sequence, but then it also was emotion. It's strange because although this movie is very funny, of course. My favorite scene is probably the part that's maybe a bit sadder for sure, because of his loss. Unfortunate.

SPEAKER_02 43:31

Yeah. But there's another good one, too, where I forget where it is in the movie, but there's the radio where it's stating all of the different counties that are being evacuated, and they mention these county names, right? They mention Columbus and Carpenter and Lynch and Wright, and that was such a good nod to all these other directors, which I thought was really clever. So that was a great thing that they did there. There's also that that scene where they're all in the Back room after the first initial, like they're figuring out okay, there's something going on here, so they're all in the back room. And I think what was it, Brian that's on the phone trying to call like 911 or something, and he's trying to call the police, and he's like, Did you know the police have a fucking voicemail or something like that? Like, just these little tidbits that they throw in there are just fucking gold. Pure gold.

SPEAKER_01 44:25

It absolutely is, and that see, that's why I really enjoyed the characters in this movie. Because, listen, if it had a little bit less budget, if the effects were a little more shitty, if the the thin legs that this movie had to stand on for its plot weren't executed just as well, this movie would have been an absolute train wreck. But the charm of those characters, Brian's ability to land his comedy, absolutely fantastic. And I also really love the fact that we have our main character dropping off his daughter's at his ex-wife's house with her new fucking husband, and he's making the joke about how heroes have to work, and then he says, Brand doesn't have to work today. Do that what you will. Yep. It was a nice little petty jab.

SPEAKER_02 45:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:12

And I absolutely love that. Like, that's what brings these characters such a great sense of depth. Character development aside, like, listen, you win some, you lose some. Some start the movie, some don't fucking make it to the end. There are a lot of revelations about each other. There's someone who is constantly exerting herself so much more because she doesn't have kids and she's being conscious of her co-workers who do have kids. How relatable is that shit? You have all of these elements of these people that make them feel like genuine people I've met in my life. And that is why this movie earned such a fucking great slash from me.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

Yeah, I think there are some good characters for sure. I think one of the one of the things that kind of dampened it a little bit, I guess, if you will, is like l, for example, let's talk about Ken, right? I think Ken, in essence, right? I'm not sure if you're when you just watch this movie and you watch Ken's character throughout the whole movie. I'm not sure. Are you supposed to like Ken or dislike Ken? Like there's ups and downs with Ken, right? When you see like a main character like that that lasts the test of time throughout the film, usually you're meant to like that character in some way. Usually. But for this one, I had ups and downs with Ken. There was moments where I was like, okay, I like this guy, and then there was moments where I was like, this guy's kind of a douche.

SPEAKER_03 46:32

Yeah, definitely an anti-hero for sure. I he's saying stuff and doing stuff where you're like, This he is a douche and he is a jerk off, but we're supposed to relate to him because he's an everyman. So I can kind of see where they're they're coming from with making him the main character, but at the same time, I feel like Chris was a definitely a more of a lateable main character because he wasn't such a douche.

SPEAKER_02 46:52

Yeah. Chris was the most likable character, I think, in this in this film for sure. The hand sanitizer, the fucking hand sanitizer thing was great.

SPEAKER_03 47:02

Maybe it speaks to us as humans, perhaps, but like the hand sanitizer thing was amazing. Watching his teammates be disgusting in the break room, like a hundred percent, spitting on something to polish it.

SPEAKER_02 47:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

Yeah, like in a public place. Oh boy, it hurt a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

Yeah, for sure. I want to point out one thing. I do love the scene where Ken gets bit, right? And we don't know it wasn't from the infected. We don't know that yet. But Chris is quick to jump to like cutting his arm off, which I guess is on brand for poor poor Divon, because he also starred in Idle Hands and had to cut his fucking hand off in that movie. So it's really on brand for him.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Well, it's also on brand for Bruce Campbell, if you think about the evil dead of it all.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

Yeah. Oh my god, look, it's just coming full circle, all this shit right here.

SPEAKER_01 47:50

No, it absolutely is. Also, shout out to Chris and Chekhov's forklift because he dropped those fucking forklift lessons and his ability to exceed, right? It's his ability to just do a little bit more in hopes for promotion, and then he ends up saving the fucking day.

SPEAKER_02 48:04

Dude, the dude couldn't drive the truck, but somehow he's operating this forklift like a fucking master.

SPEAKER_00 48:09

All I'm saying is don't sleep on Chris, okay? He also annihilated Ken, like no tomorrow with that you see me way too often to be your actual child.

SPEAKER_02 48:17

Ooh, that stings.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

That entire exchange between the two of them was like, I just want to keep that in a bottle. That gains heavy I know I hack this movie, but like that gains heavy points on this one because that exchange alone was so, so savage. It's like, yes, Chris, you fucking stand your ground. And going back to what you were saying about Ken, like, do we like him? Do we not? I personally think he's a fucking man baby, truthfully. But that's just me.

SPEAKER_02 48:42

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 48:44

Yeah, I think that's the point though, right? Like, I think when I think about the characters, I like that they feel so real, even if a lot of them are fucking unlikable. Like they're charming because I don't like them, but they don't push past the point of like, wow, fuck this guy, fuck this movie.

SPEAKER_02 49:02

Yeah, which which definitely brings us to Brian, because Brian is basically a piece of absolute shit, but he's pure fucking gold with the comedic value he brings to this movie, but also just a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_00 49:17

A hundred percent. He was one of my favorites because in that exchange, he's in the corner eating the little treats, just watching, seeing shit unfold, and I'm like, that's me. I feel like I would just be enjoying the sidelines a little bit and just you know, casually eating, although he probably should be breaking that up. Also, Jonathan, I mean Bruce Campbell, right? I it is a shame that he's not like a bigger role in this film, as you would expect. But when he says some really dark ass shit and it's called out for being dark ass shit, that was good too.

SPEAKER_02 49:49

It is great.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

I just want to throw it back to Ryan's quote of survival of the fittest and non-geriatric.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

That's fucked. It is fucked. It is fucked. But yeah, but Jonathan too, like with Bruce Campbell and all that stuff. Like, I loved one of the things I loved about that character is just watching how he was literally trying to avoid the tough situations in every way possible until the very end when he finally took ownership of this situation, went down with the ship, in his words, right? And jumped into that horde of mutated alien parasite zombie fuckers.

SPEAKER_01 50:26

He was really giving Michael Scott.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

Oh, yeah, Michael Scott. That's a good, yes, absolutely. That's a good analogy for sure. But let me ask you this, because we haven't talked much about her. What do you think about Marnie's character? Because for me, I felt like they almost made that character insignificant in a way. I I think she had presence in the movie for sure. I don't think it's her fault by any means, but I don't think they didn't give her much to work with in this movie, so I don't think she stood out the way she should have.

SPEAKER_00 50:55

You know what she's giving? She's giving, well, we're gonna need a female to be in the main cast, someone who obviously the main, actual main character, which in this case to me would be like Chris, right, is kind to Chris so that he feels empowered, but then also somehow is the love interest for Ken to kind of bring him down to earth and maybe just a slight bit relatable.

SPEAKER_01 51:21

Listen, I agree with you on those points. However, I think here's what he she also was for me. She was the motherfucking unsung hero. She, I don't think, was super insignificant because she reminded me of every other retail employee who just does a good job, is also not there to just like completely light things on fire and kiss ass like Anita, uh, who also is maybe a little bit jaded, right? Has lost a little bit of the bright-eyed, bushy-tailed energy that maybe Chris has with wanting to do the absolute best, but she also just wants to do the right thing within the scope of her role, but does a good job. Like that's what she gave to me. She gave someone who performs and is overlooked, and that's why I think I really adored her character.

SPEAKER_02 52:10

I can I could see that for sure. Before we move on from characters, I definitely just have to point out if you didn't know, the great dower Dennis is that voice is played by none other than Seth Green himself, and that's two people from Idle Hands, which I think is great.

SPEAKER_03 52:29

Was that just like a friendship thing? They're like, hey, we need a voice, Seth, you want to do this? Probably.

SPEAKER_02 52:34

It's odd when you see like these like B movies come together and a lot of these actors that have been in other B movies together. I just think, yeah, it's probably like a thing like, oh, we've got our like close-knit like group of friends, and we're just gonna call them up. I'm just thinking like Rob Zombie here, where he's just like, I've got like the six people that I have in my contact list, so I'm just gonna hit these six people up and we're gonna make a movie together. What are we doing this week?

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Making another Sherry Moon Zombie film.

SPEAKER_03 53:01

Oh, you said it.

SPEAKER_02 53:01

I was trying not to. Get this. Sherry Moon Zombie is the star.

SPEAKER_01 53:06

Jaws was Sherry Moon Zombie. If Rob Zombie made this movie, she'd be the 80-foot monster in the fucking thing. She wouldn't be Marty, she'd be Marty. She'd be the biggest center of attention. She absolutely wouldn't be.

SPEAKER_02 53:21

Yeah, for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_01 53:23

But honestly, that does bring me to what was the worst part of this movie. The effects were great until they suddenly weren't. And they suddenly weren't when that giant fucking thing started squirting blood and shit after the forklift situation. When it started like spewing blood and whatever the fuck else it was spewing, absolutely took me out. Again, the impressiveness of scaling up that actor in an actual practical suit, impressive. The like ejection of fluid from the eye region, not great looking at all.

SPEAKER_03 54:01

It was honestly like really unclear exactly what was happening. You had to like think, like, okay, yes, they just harpooned it with a forklift, but was that enough to kill it? That was all that it took. It was so anticlimactic, and that was why the ending in general was my worst part, because yeah, the giant thing was actually really fun, right? But the taking down of the giant thing was like, oh, fizzle, that's a bummer. And then what do they do is they just drive away.

SPEAKER_02 54:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 54:28

And it's okay. Yeah, we see the other giant things out there as well because they've obviously been doing this all over the place. And that's fun. Maybe linger on that or show some more, like stretch it out a little bit. It just seemed like you snapped your fingers and the whole movie was done.

SPEAKER_02 54:41

Now, let me tell you what the worst part of this movie was, and it was a hundred percent those nasty, saggy, gross titties that we had to fucking see on that mutated fucking shopper lady. Okay. What is with this shit lately? It's unnecessary, it's uncalled for, it didn't need to be in the film. I didn't want it.

SPEAKER_01 55:01

Dusty saggy grandma tits or you're absolutely right. Absolutely. I think when I watched it, I was thinking about Dead by Daylight, because there's a character called The Hag, and she kind of has that like same granny tit situation. And so I think it's just at this point, I'm just unfazed by it. But maybe we should make a note to bring this up in the Slasher Choice Awards at the end of the year. You got a lot of competition for Didn't Need to See Nip.

SPEAKER_02 55:27

We do.

SPEAKER_00 55:28

The best part of this movie are definitely the funny one liners, and we've clearly said a lot of them, so that's a testament to how good they were, that's for sure. And that's 100% what I'm gonna remember most out of all this entire movie, just like the jabs here and there, especially Chris and the things that he was saying, how he came into his power a little bit and just really hit it where it hurts. Incredible.

SPEAKER_01 55:49

It really was incredible, and I think that's why this movie is gonna continue to have rewatchability for me. Listen, there's no circumstance I'm gonna watch this outside of the context of Black Friday. If somehow I don't work an upcoming Black Friday, then maybe I'll watch it. But I can't imagine working a full day or getting ready to work a full day than putting this shit on, so we'll see. It's gonna be time and place.

SPEAKER_02 56:11

Yeah, I think even though I had fun with this movie, it feels like a one and done for me. It didn't give me enough of the holiday feels to really consider watching this every year during the holidays. It was fun, but not perfect, and I just don't see myself really wanting to watch this one again. I'm glad I watched it, but it's definitely not something that I feel like is a staple.

SPEAKER_03 56:34

This is definitely not one of those like staple rewatches, right? But I think it's probably in the, hey, I need something stupid easy to throw on. I think it's it's one of those you could rely on if you wanted to. I mean, you probably couldn't watch it every week unless you're just like a massive fan, but it if it's like uh been a full year and you're hanging out, maybe you didn't work on Black Friday, or maybe it's been a couple days uh since the shopping extravaganza and you just want something in the background, I I could see watching it again.

SPEAKER_00 57:01

Yeah, for me, I want to say that once is enough. And it's not that it's because it's that terrible, but I just don't see myself going out of my way to see this. However, if I guess it is Black Friday and someone comes across this somehow and says, I really want to see this, all right, we'll put it on just so I can enjoy again that one line or that those bits here and there that I enjoyed. But in general, I don't feel find myself like going and actively wanting to watch this movie again anytime soon.

SPEAKER_01 57:31

Well, I can see that I'll be the only one to revisit this at some point, but for now, let's see what else Matt can educate us on with fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_03 57:40

Alright, for fact or fiction tonight we are focused on Black Friday, but not the movie, the day. So, number one, all that Thanksgiving leftover goodness combined with waking up at O Dark 30 to shop somehow makes Black Friday the busiest day of the year for plumbers.

SPEAKER_00 57:54

I'm gonna say fact because you know what? Some of that sometimes that food doesn't hit right.

SPEAKER_02 57:59

That's so funny because people are eating a lot, so you gotta think lots of food, big shitting, lots of clogging of the toilets, maybe they're using too much toilet paper, you know what I mean? So I want this to be a fact for fun, so I'm gonna go for fact.

SPEAKER_03 58:15

This is indeed a fact for fun. Yeah, turkey poops end up overloading all those store potties, and to me that's also something of nightmare fuel, but yeah, all all the shoppers out there eating all that food, getting up super early, drinking all that coffee, they're just blowing up toilets in stores. Terrible. Number two, people prepare for the shopping insanity with a bit of booze. Over 25% of holiday shoppers apparently are under the influence of more than uh just some good deals.

SPEAKER_00 58:43

Wow, you actually stunned me on this. I'm gonna say fiction. But this time, to be very honest, it's because fact maybe fi I don't know. I'm gonna change it up for myself.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

Just to change it up? Well, I'm gonna go fact just to go against the fiction.

SPEAKER_03 58:57

Just to be a contrarian. No, this one is a fiction. However, it's because of the number. It's apparently closer to around 12%. Now, 12% of those Black Friday shoppers got some dranks in them. Okay, alright. It's not a bad number. That's a rookie number, but it's not a bad number. Yeah. Now, number three, Green Friday is a ridiculous term in the film, but it's only as ridiculous as real life. At one point, people wanted to make fetch happen, and they wanted to rename the day Big Friday.

SPEAKER_02 59:24

I man, here's the thing. I can see people wanting to change the name for whatever reasons, political, non-political, whatever. So I don't know. Big Friday, that's the fact that we have to watch out for. I'm not sure if that's the one. I want to say fiction here just because I don't know if Big Friday was the one they wanted to change it to. I don't know that it was Green Friday, but I'm gonna try to go fiction here just to see if I can catch you off guard. I don't know. What the fuck.

SPEAKER_00 59:54

I I feel like I should stand with you in solidarity and also do fiction? I don't know. You're feeling very solo on that one, so fine, I'll do fiction as well.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:04

This one is actually a fact. So retailers thought that they could try to move away from all the negative connotations of Black Friday, but look, stop trying to make fetch happen. And number four, Black Friday's origins have been spun and lied about over the decades to create a more positive image, but the actual history goes back to the 1950s when post-Thanksgiving holiday shopping caused a human stampede in New York City that first responders nicknamed Black Friday due to the chaos and destruction.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

That's getting pretty hardcore. I'm gonna say fact.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:33

It does sound like that's where the name could stem from.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:36

Oh, but maybe not the year.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:38

Maybe not the year. Maybe, yeah, maybe not. I don't know. That that's the thing with this fact or fiction shit. But I was also wrong last time I tried to do this, which was literally the last question. So, yeah, I don't know. When did Black Friday even fucking start? It's all a blur. I'm also gonna go fiction because I don't know, there's too many details in there.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:58

So back in the late 19th century, the Black Friday, like as a term, it was first used, but it actually was it referred to when some peeps thought it would be really cool to buy up all the gold, right? And then pretend that it's scarce and then drive the value up, which like screwed over the economy. So basically the government flooded the economy with gold and said F the value of your gold, and everyone was like, sweet, thanks. However, as a shopping event, it does go back to the 50s in Philly, right? But it's not very sunny in Philly, where this began. So the you have Thanksgiving on Thursday, then you have the Army Navy game on Saturday. So on Friday, suburban shoppers and tourists flooded the city, turning it into chaos with lots of traffic and crowds, and police weren't even allowed to take the day off, and thus they gave it the nickname Black Friday. And that eventually spread elsewhere. And a little bit over a decade later, it was right there in Philly where they were like, yo, we need to change the name to Big Friday. So you're welcome, America. That's been fact or fiction.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:58

Well, one history lesson later, there you have it, folks. Black Friday has earned one hack and three slashes. Now we certainly had a robust discussion here, but it doesn't end here by any means.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:08

You want to know what you think. Would you have survived a Black Friday like this one? Let us know. You can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free in our Discord. Click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:18

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode and you also enjoy having pie on Black Friday for breakfast, consider becoming one of our patrons. Visit patreon.com/slash hacker slash to enjoy more of the show with early access, extended episodes, bonus content, and live shows.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:33

We'll see you next time, folks, and remember, don't let them gather.