346: Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019)

SPEAKER_05 0:04

Abaddon Hotel, more like I'm Abadon with this f ⁇ ing franchise. Greetings and salutations and welcome to Hackerslash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. The only thing scary in here is the asbestos. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

A total joke, a waste of time.

SPEAKER_05 0:30

Or a slash. Totally killer. Pun intended. We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're ranking these movies with a perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the classic horror connoisseur Sean.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

They may moan and groan, but it's all part of the show.

SPEAKER_05 0:50

And the paranormal paramour Binks.

SPEAKER_03 0:52

Fuck you, Gregory, all women are tougher than you.

SPEAKER_05 0:55

This week we're gearing up for spooky season by checking out the third entry in a fountain footage franchise. When last we visited the Abaddon Hotel in episode 121, we checked out a documentary sequel that sought to expose supernatural events and mysterious disappearances at the side of a haunted house gone wrong. In this week's film, the hotel is opening its door to the public once more for an audience interactive show, and a billionaire has invited a journalist to document the production during an exclusive behind-the-scenes look. This week we're talking about Hellhouse LLC3, Lake of Fire. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Okay, so I had not seen this one before. I gotta be honest, the third one had not seen it. I remember watching the first Hell House years ago, flipping through shit, trying to find something to watch, and I remember the first one being a decent found footage horror flick, but honestly, I didn't remember much about it other than that creepy clown. So naturally, I binged the first three Hell House films this weekend.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

You just really went in, did all three at once. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

I feel like I had to. There was continuity in the story. I just felt like it was needed.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

That makes sense. That makes sense. Oddly enough, I have never even heard of this franchise before. So bizarre. I know, insane. What am I even doing here? Such imposter syndrome. But I had heard of it through this podcast and decided to start watching it with a close friend of mine. But we started watching them, I want to say maybe a month or two ago, maybe even three. So we watched the first and second one back to back, and then we couldn't really keep going. We had coincidentally stopped at three. So when we decided to do Hellhouse Three, I told him I was like, Well, sorry, bud. Looks like we gotta keep going and finish it now because we're recording episodes on them.

SPEAKER_05 2:49

That is shocking to me. I remember when Hellhouse LLC came out, and it was such a moment, particularly because Sean, you mentioned it already, that creepy fucking clown.

SPEAKER_04 2:59

Yep.

SPEAKER_05 3:00

This was a found footage haunt movie done really well. And obviously, we have like Houses October built, we have Haunt, we have so many other haunt horror movies now. This really was such a gem when the franchise first started. So I've seen for the first one, I've seen the second one, I've seen the third one. I have not seen anything past this. So I know that we have more on the horizon. Obviously, we're gonna be wrapping up the franchise, but this was a really interesting moment because Sean, like you, I also watched all the movies back to back to back. But it's not a franchise that I think ages particularly well and then also makes it even worse when you have what I think is a solid film and then you go into two and three. It just gets really weird really, really fast. So coming back into this one, I honestly had forgotten a lot of it, and I thought even for a while that I hadn't seen it, but then you see certain characters in here, and you're like, What the fuck? This is something that I was expecting a little bit more excessive exposition, and oh boy, did we get it.

SPEAKER_03 4:13

I love that after watching the first one and the second, you're still going into third, being what the hell am I seeing? is basically what you were trying to say in the nicest way, it felt like.

SPEAKER_05 4:25

Okay, listen, the first movie has a layer of mystery, which is great, but what this franchise does is start explaining itself in Hellhouse LC2, and that's where it starts getting real fucking weird.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

Couldn't agree more, and that is exactly why going into this third one, I said, this is probably gonna be garbage, and I'll be upfront about that. I'll be very blunt about it. The acting was a complete mess in the prior film, the plot seemed so convoluted in an unnecessary way, and so going into this one I figured, uh, it's giving like all of these actors couldn't find other jobs to do, and so let's just keep doing what we know with the little money we have left in our pockets. And well, we'll get into how I felt about it, but going into a film, already feeling that way, by the end of it, it's so rewarding to know that you're onto something.

SPEAKER_00 5:23

Oh man. You know, I really didn't have many expectations initially, but after watching the first two films, I guess going into this third installment, I was curious to see how they can really continue to evolve the story around the Abaddon Hotel. Is this just gonna be another group of idiots trying to find out what's going on with this place? Is it, you know, is it gonna feel tired and played, or will they find a way to deliver something interesting? That's really what was going on in my head with it. I just don't want this to be just a repeat of the second film because then it's just redundant and stupid. But I definitely think it has potential to do something with the franchise, but we'll see what happens.

SPEAKER_05 6:09

See, here's the thing though, you have such an admirable hope for this movie to be better than what it could reasonably be, given what we already saw in Hellhouse LLC2.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

I know, I know. I'm just saying. What a gem you are. Every movie has the chance to do something. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 6:30

So it sure does, it sure does, and yet it fumbled the bag. That's the problem here. Sean, you talked about like, is it gonna be tired? Is it gonna be played out? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 6:42

The entire time this movie was on, I was like, oh, it's more of the same, except somehow worse, because it creates the illusion that it should be better. It creates the illusion of a little bit more polish, it creates the illusion of a little bit better budget, and there are even some people in the movie, and I'm not saying their performances are great by any means, but there are some characters where I'm like, huh, you probably thought you were getting into something a little bit better than this. And yet we have more of the same. This is Mama Bird chewing up the food and throwing it back up for her babies. And who are the babies? Not me. I'm not babies, I don't need this shit.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

I really couldn't say it better. I love your heart and your spirit, Sean. Good for you. My Cynical Ass was like, God damn it, we have to review this movie, don't we? And we gotta persevere. And sometimes we have to review a movie that I know in my soul is going to be not a good time. And we've reviewed a few of those already. Some actually called for a hell of a good time in terms of viewing experience. The movie was trash, but I had quite a great time watching it. Unfortunately for this one though, throughout the entire film, I was heavily annoyed, extremely peeved, because there's a constant need to recap the previous two films as if this is the latest installment in a 20-part franchise. So to your point, Chris, it's almost like they have the audacity, okay? Harry Potter and the audacity of this bitch to feel like they are making an MCU endgame type of film with a ton of actors that I couldn't even tell you if they did a commercial. Okay, like poor bless their hearts, but don't come in here acting like this is an Oscar performance and you're a part of an award-winning franchise. This is part three. You're lucky that you're even got a part two, okay? Let's all relax.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

Somehow it keeps going.

SPEAKER_03 8:46

And then they also feel like because this film is, I don't even know, like it has such a repute high reputation and it's so necessary to your point earlier, Chris, as well. It's the exposition. And I think you mentioned this too, Sean. It's like they really force this exposition around the house, and it's like, why? The writing and the performances aren't even great enough to execute it.

SPEAKER_05 9:10

It really isn't, and that is what is so damn infuriating. You know, you said Harry Potter and the audacity of this bitch. Here's the thing: this movie, when you watch it, you're basically watching Hellhouse LLC and Hellhouse LLC 2, The Abaddon Hotel. That's it. You're watching the entire contents of those movies are basically in this one. At least the moment's worth watching.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Yeah, I mean, there is this thing though. There is this thing about, I would say any movie in this franchise, including this one, where as bad as certain parts can be, there's always for me this feeling of just wanting to keep watching for some reason. I do want to keep watching just to see what the fuck is going on and what the fuck these people are gonna do and what's happening to these characters. So I'm not saying good movie, not saying bad movie just yet. I'm just telling you that there is something about this movie where I don't know if it's the mockumentary in the midst of this found footage horror theme or what have you, but there's something there that just keeps me like wanting to just sit through the whole thing.

SPEAKER_05 10:15

Yeah. I mean, I had that burning desire to sit through the whole thing for the first film. Absolutely. That was a movie that I really, really enjoyed. But the second movie was like, I'm gonna watch this out of almost a sense of obligation and respect to the first movie. In this one, bro, if I wasn't watching this for the podcast, I would have been tapped out.

SPEAKER_03 10:37

I would have completely skipped it before I even knew whether it was good or bad. I just felt it in my soul that there was no way that this was going to be an improvement after the second one. But I get what you're saying, Sean, because I felt like that with Ginger Dead Men. I was so like, I need to see the end of this film. What is happening here? This is so bad. Yeah. So I get what you mean. I didn't feel that way about this in particular, but I can relate to you in terms of the general sentiment.

SPEAKER_05 11:06

Yeah. And I think the thing that keeps me from wanting to watch more of it, the thing that does make me feel like, oh, okay, yeah, I would have passed on this, was this feeling I mentioned earlier that it should have been more polished, but we get really rough line delivery. And there are characters in here who feel more like caricatures, but not in a funny, I'm leaning into this kind of camp way, but more in a this was thrown together in a poorly directed way.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Yeah, I can definitely see that. The thing about this franchise as a whole, and what this film also brings to the table, is there is a surprising amount of lore behind this franchise. The lore is rich and it's layered. There is fucking lore, fucking galore in this movie and this franchise. Even with the lore though, just a little disappointed with how they explored the key elements to the story in this one. I'll say that.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

I co I agree because what's disappointing is that they have something that could really be phenomenal in terms of the lore, but I go back to the execution of it all is disastrous and it's lost on me. I'm not paying attention to all the lore as m rather, I'm not paying as much attention to the lore as I should because I'm too caught up in how terrible the writing is, how cheesy the performances are, and then they sprinkle in some quips here and there that are supposed to be really funny, and it's over my head, like, ooh, that was forced. They make little nods to Into the Woods and the Office, and I'm like That's yeah, they do. In any other scenario, that probably would have gotten me, okay? Because I love Into the Woods and the Office, but I'm just looking at this now and saying, How dare they even bring in those things into this franchise? Unacceptable.

SPEAKER_05 13:01

It is a classic exhibit of excess, just too much. Sean, you said there's lore galore, but did there need to be? Here's the thing about this movie, and this is why it's so disappointing. The scariest thing about the first film is A, sure, the creepy fucking clown. 2B, the mystery of it all, the unknown of it all. But there is so much exposition in the second film, in the third film, and then this movie continues to trip over itself, trying to expand the borders of this story, really push this narrative as hard as it can, and it's just like w to what to what extent? For what?

SPEAKER_03 13:50

Well, what's so shocking is that they're basically developing this lore while giving us constant flashbacks of the previous two films and the scariest moments of those two films. So what was actually scary about this one? Nothing, because the only scares that they had were actually clips from the previous two films in which I already saw those. So it doesn't make me scary. The only thing that I'll give them, and God, I can't believe I'm trying to give them credit, but the only thing I'll give them credit for is they incorporate a different perspective in terms of cameras and the found footage. So it reminds me a little bit of Ganjum Asylum. So it's not just one camera filming the whole thing, it's going to be different perspectives from different people. So there's different angles that you're going to be seeing. But even those were just so painfully obvious that I don't think you'll get scared at all. Even if you are a scaredy cat, okay? Maybe don't watch Hellhouse. I guess you could see this one. I don't know why you would skip all the way to number three. But let's say you just walk into a room, someone's playing it in the background, sit down, have a laugh. You're not gonna get scared.

SPEAKER_05 15:08

Don't worry, you can skip to number three because all three movies are in it.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

I guess that's true.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

Exactly. It's a recap.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

Yeah, I you know, I wish they stuck with some of the investigative stuff a little longer and gave us a little bit more like true crime feel to it, but maybe that's not what this movie is, and yet maybe that's what this movie needs to be. You know what I mean? Maybe they should have gone that direction. You know, scary or not, I don't know. I actually think there are some genuinely creepy moments across the entire franchise, including this movie. I feel like this installment had maybe like a small handful of really good moments that weren't even jump scares or anything like that. It just had some memorable moments, I think, and maybe it's just the way they looked that stood out rather than actually making you truly frightened in any way. But I think what makes the trilogy in and of itself so scary up until maybe the end of this film, and maybe parts of the end of this film, is that you don't really get a full explanation. Like you get an explanation, and we'll talk about that, but there are no like real answers, and it adds to a little like sort of mystique of all of the films, and so it had that until it didn't when we got to parts of how they landed the plane in this film to kind of wrap up this trilogy.

SPEAKER_05 16:27

You really had the nerve to say this film had mystique.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

I mean, the first one had mystique, and it slowly lost it over the course of the next two films, but they still had moments of that in there.

SPEAKER_05 16:41

Yeah. Listen, they lost it because they tried to do something different, but they kept trying to one-up themselves in a way that was just, again, excessive.

SPEAKER_04 16:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 16:51

This movie feels even within the context of its own franchise, you could say it feels original in its levels of just bullshittery for like A regurgitating a story, then B just somehow managing to make it worse. But the real crime here is that it's more of the same. And I know I keep saying that, and I feel like I'm beating a dead horse at this point, but there is nothing new about this movie. The first film, sure, we have found footage, we have creepiness, even that in itself, it's I think what's original about it is the idea in the in the context of it being within a haunt, and then following that that journey of setting up a haunt and a mystery that goes or a mysterious event that you know goes horrifically wrong on opening night. But how many times can you really fucking do this? At this point, we are on what our second, third owner of a financially fucking wealthy man with fiscal woes. No. Financial irresponsibility can miss me because this movie just keeps spitting it out.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

You know, I really just want to emphasize how much lore is really behind this seemingly simple found footage franchise because this movie does dive heavily into that lore, and I think each film brings something different to the table, and this film is definitely no different. It definitely brings something different to this lore, and I will give this film some tiny bit of originality for making it feel different than the last two films, but that's really it. If we're giving any originality this to this film, it's because they actually did something slightly different than the first two films, and they didn't just necessarily, without spoilers, make it just a group of idiots that just wanted to go investigate again the group of idiots that went to investigate that disappeared to the group of idiots that went to investigate and so on and so forth. You know what I mean? At least they didn't carry on that fucking torch.

SPEAKER_03 18:43

You know what? You're so right. Let's be a little nicer. You're so right, because you know what? That had to have been someone who was brave enough to tell the showrunners or the you know, the directors, the people in the studio, whatever the case may be, they had the balls to say, Don't you dare do this again. Don't you dare send another group of people into that house to investigate. The ball starts stops here. Not starts, it stops here. That's for sure. Yeah, I think that there's nothing really original about this film except for the audacity, like I mentioned earlier, to incorporate some elements of the supernatural and paranormal that I think I just personally am offended to have involved with this franchise. Maybe that's what it is, maybe that's what I'm trying to grapple with, but it reminds me of a very popular and a extremely close to the heart personal favorite story of mine. It's a very famous story, movie, and show, especially in the ending. When they incorporated, especially in the ending, I was like, How dare they? I can't believe that they did this. I think that I was starting to give it just a shred of credit at the very end, and then the film continued for just a f a minute or two more, and then I got really upset because there's no need to provide such level of fan service when you already have incorporated the first and second film throughout the entire movie. There really isn't.

SPEAKER_05 20:15

A hundred percent. The ending of this movie is what were you thinking? It's almost like when you were eating a sweet and it's so sweet you feel like you're gonna get a cavity. It feels like there's just too much strength there and too much potency there. And I remember sitting back watching this ending and being like, what the fuck is happening? Because while the ending I think should be apparent, and maybe you can see it coming, I was so caught off guard by what they were telling me was happening that I was like, what the fuck is going on here?

SPEAKER_00 20:49

It was just so bizarre. It was literally just a really bad way to end everything. I I know I've already talked a lot, or at least somewhat about this ending, but it was just not a great ending. I can appreciate the way they tried to button it all up and have a resolution to the overall story here, but the way that they did it just felt so strange, especially the final moments. I get what they're doing, but the reactions felt off, and it was just kind of some really lame way to end the story. I don't know. That's all I can really say is that you know, you have this mystique that you then go down a whole nother path and try to give some explanation that nobody really wanted. Let's be honest, nobody really wanted that explanation. So there we have it. But the show, I think, being put on in this one, Insomnia or whatever, was actually, I think, based on a similar performance in New York City called Sleep No More, which I think is pretty cool. So, same kind of shit, too. Like, people, like we're not giving spoilers of the movie as a whole, but people wearing masks and watching like a series of scenes played out by actors the same way that they kind of do in this movie. So I think that was kind of interesting that they maybe took inspiration from something. That was actually happening in the city.

SPEAKER_05 22:02

Sean, bless you for just continuing to throw this movie bones. And I can honestly see why you have to do it because I think it's apparent which direction we're going here. But before we start rating this film, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_00 22:16

There's not really a lot of gore in this film. You will see blood for sure, but you don't really get to see much of any of these kills up front. And even though we have some creepy props and ghosts and whatnot, it's really just giving a hauntingly low gore score.

SPEAKER_03 22:34

And what about the Animal Report? Luckily, this film can get its flowers because the Hellhouse is safe.

SPEAKER_05 22:41

Well, let's go ahead and get into our ratings and Hellhouse LLC3, Lake of Fire from 2019. Was it a hack or a slash? And I'm gonna go first because I don't know how I could say this much quicker than I have here. This movie is at its best when we have the classic found footage scares that this franchise built its fame on. What this franchise is known for. The clown that was such a star in the first film continues to be a star in part two and part three. But it's also a shame because we've already seen it before. And the only thing new that this film offers is just another layer of audacity and head scratching. This is absolutely in what is in my opinion, an unsalvageable hack.

SPEAKER_03 23:27

Absolutely. But you know, with that kind of savagery, I still feel like after all of the terrible things I've said, perhaps this movie wasn't bad enough to give it a complete hack. So just kidding. There's no way on this planet. Could you imagine, friends? Could you imagine? No. This is gotta be probably the biggest and easiest hack I've given so far this year. This film is an incredible waste of time, and we're here to save you the trouble from even watching it if you ever explore this franchise. I'd usually caution people to listen to this spoiler section, like maybe hold off on it if you even have an ounce of curiosity to watch the film. But for this one, I'd say keep on going, friends, because I'm about to have a hell of a good time shredding the fuck out of this one, okay? This is a prime example of a cash grab and terrible execution, okay? They don't even try to pretend like it isn't, and that's just about the only thing I can respect about this film. The story doesn't have any purposeful progression, the majority of characters are not memorable, and the film isn't even scary. And really, it's just a massive disappointment and the hack of Hellhouse LC.

SPEAKER_05 24:43

Wow, she really said stop on by the clown cafe because we're about to run this shit right over in the spoiler zone.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Man, look, I agree. This is not a great film in general. You have to definitely enjoy found footage horror in its entirety to really enjoy this film or even this franchise. I feel like I did enjoy aspects of this film, and I did enjoy aspects of the continuity, because there is that certain level of continuity to all the films in this franchise that I did kind of enjoy as I binged through the first three films. And I do like how the stories tie together and how they add to this lore of the Abaddon Hotel, and each film builds off of the last. And in this one, you know, there's semi-relatable characters. It's really bad acting, but there are some semi-relatable characters, and there's just enough going on to keep you interested in watching the movie. It does feel a little clunky though, as this film progresses, especially with the way that they landed the plane. Because of that, it's such an interesting call because I definitely think that as this franchise progresses, that the films do get progressively worse, which is tough. I like the lore in the story, but this was such a departure from its predecessors. I'm not completely just putting this one six feet under like the two of you are. I think it's maybe like a four out of ten, four point five out of ten hack. I really enjoyed watching all of the films back to back, but there was something about the first two films, the first one, obviously, especially, that almost had this. I want to say there's hints of Blair Witch elements to it, but there's mostly like the last broadcast vibes to this film. And there was enough mystery around the films where in this one they try to solve that mystery, but it feels wrong. And it's sad but true. It is a hack. So it's not a great film. But if you like found footage and you feel like you want to binge some found footage, go ahead and plop it on.

SPEAKER_05 26:48

If you like found footage and you want to binge some found footage, there's about 500 better found footage movies to what binge before this one.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

It's because I just want to say this is the kind of found footage that you would throw on on the TV. Realize that you have to go get the mail outside. So you go run get the mail. You're talking to your neighbor because they just so happen to, you know, exit the house at the same time. You're catching up, seeing how everything's going. You can go back into the house, maybe notice that something's happened to the TV, go to the bathroom, exit. And you haven't missed a thing, dude. And you haven't missed a thing at all, is the shocking part. Are we getting what I'm trying to say here? Basically, don't watch the movie, but have the ambience.

SPEAKER_05 27:28

Mm-hmm. Abaddon Hotel. I'm more like I'm Abaddon with this fucking franchise. Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

I'm sorry. It's giving like if some like college kid went and grabbed all of the clips from the first two movies, went with his friends, recorded some footage. And made a fan film. And made a fan film on YouTube. That's what this was. Sorry, I'm done.

SPEAKER_05 27:49

What a shame. Well, with that Hellhouse LLC3 Lake of Fire has earned a fiery universal hack. And there's a lot more to discuss when we return from break. If you've already seen this one before, what would you rate it? Let us know. You can join the conversation for free in our Discord server. And if you haven't seen it yet, you can follow the link in our show notes to see where you can watch it right now. But obviously, we don't recommend it. Now when we return from our break, we'll dive deep into the spoiler zone territory and discuss exactly what makes this movie such a standing pile of shit. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Do you long for a fragile experience that will have you questioning reality? Inferno attractions is the premier production company specializing in bringing the gates of hell right to your neighborhood. Imagine this, a haunted attraction, so real, you'll think you've wandered into another dimension. Their latest masterpiece, Lake of Eternal Torment, is packed with spine-tinkling surprises, soul-crushing scares, and a grand finale that's quite literally fire and brimstone. Forget cheesy jump scares and half-hearted ghouls. Inferno attractions employs only the most dedicated demons and phantoms. Each actor has been personally trained by the most notorious denizens of the underworld. They guarantee an immersive experience that will haunt your nightmares for years to go. So gather your bravest friends or your most expendable ones and step into a world where terror reigns supreme Inferno attractions. Because if you're not scared out of your wits, they haven't done their job. Visit InfernoAttractions.com and book your torment today.

SPEAKER_05 30:42

And honestly, a lot of vitriol, but before we get into the specifics of our ratings, let's go through those kills.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Yeah, you know, we have a total of 17 kills in this movie, and we're not counting the flashbacks to previous kills in the franchise or anything like that. The problem I have with the kills in this movie, much like its predecessors, is that we really just don't get to see a whole lot of them. And if there's one thing that you've learned with me, if you're gonna make a kill happen, I wanna fucking see that kill happen. So if you're not gonna show me the kill, you gotta give me something else, and that just didn't happen here. So it makes it really hard to really love a whole lot about any one kill, but I am curious to see what you all think. What did you like or dislike about these kills?

SPEAKER_05 31:31

Okay. I'm not gonna say my favorite kill yet, because I'm confident maybe Binks and I have the same same one.

SPEAKER_00 31:39

Oh, I I have to know now.

SPEAKER_05 31:40

There's very little to choose from that's actually respectable in this fucking movie. But I do want to take an on an honest moment here. When we usually discuss the best or worst parts of these movies, we usually discuss the worst part if we slash it and we talk about the best part if we hack it. Obviously, I'm not gonna be able to really completely railroad this movie the entire episode, but I do want to say what would have been my worst part if this were a good enough movie to slash, and that is the fucking chaotic scene of kills, because you get to this moment where they are so poorly performed, so poorly acted, the fucking gore is non-existent, it is just astoundingly bad. We had such great, promising gore. As little as we saw in the first film, even in the second movie, we got some weird shit. Yeah. But in this one, what in the student film was this bullshit?

SPEAKER_00 32:34

It did have that charm to it.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

For the first time in hackerslash history since I have joined, it's that we don't have the same favorite kill, actually. It's that your worst part is my favorite kill. Because those stupid ass kills during the haunt had me cackling, man. It was so bad that that was probably what I was enjoying the most in truth. And it really, it's because it was so poorly executed. That camera was incessantly rotating, it was just nauseating at one point. And actually, on a visual standpoint, if anything, I would say that like the kills that were happening in the white hallway with the mannequins was visually appealing, which we'll get to in a second, but I just thought that it was so funny because it looked like it was kills happening in a comedy, not a foun footage film.

SPEAKER_05 33:28

It looks like they fucking stuck a camera on an oscillating fan, and that's how they fucking got that.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

Yeah. Oh, that's exactly what they did. That had to have been what they did, and I was so dizzy that I was like, wow, it's like I'm on the little teacup ride at Disney.

SPEAKER_00 33:45

The worst.

SPEAKER_05 33:46

Okay, I do want to point out though, Binx, that we are still on brand because we're still talking about the same fucking thing.

SPEAKER_00 33:52

This is true.

SPEAKER_05 33:53

That's true. My favorite kill was actually Greg, though. It was the kill that fucking kicked off that bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 33:59

Yeah, because it's the only one we get to see shit. It's literally the only one. Yeah, you're not wrong. I mean, there's a reason why we're like generalizing all these kills because all these kills are fucking generalized. It's just a bunch of bullshit. It's literally like you can watch this scene of kills be acted out in any haunted attraction. And maybe that's the charm of the movie, is that they just want you to feel like it's just a bunch of haunted attraction actors.

SPEAKER_05 34:26

Sean, I'm beginning to be concerned that you may not know with certainty what charm means.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

I I'm just using words of positivity just to keep it a little bit above water here, you know? I'm not trying to drown this film just yet.

SPEAKER_05 34:42

What a yeah, honestly, find you someone who can be in your corner like Sean, even when you don't deserve it.

SPEAKER_00 34:48

We'll find a way to fight for it somehow, you know, even though I hacked it.

SPEAKER_03 34:51

When there's a Hellhouse 15, Sean's getting invited to the press, and Chris and I are not.

SPEAKER_05 34:56

He's fucking throwing the kinse for the fucking franchise.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Wanna be the fucking spokesperson for the for Hellhouse LLC4 Lake of shit.

SPEAKER_05 35:07

Pond of Despair.

SPEAKER_00 35:08

Pond of Despair. Well, you know it's probably coming, so.

SPEAKER_05 35:13

Here's the thing though. These deaths should have been more interesting. And I really just want to see a death done from what has continued to be one of my favorite things visually about this entire franchise, which is that fucking clown. That clown is mobile, he's got range, he's got some good neck movement, he is really doing the most out here. If we get this motherfucker just all of a sudden coming to life and just like stabbing somebody, I'd be down.

SPEAKER_00 35:43

You're talking about the look of the clown, and the look of the clown really stayed the same, which is great. You know what I mean? And I've talked about continuity. I gotta bring it up again, but in a different way. I love the continuity of the house specifically and how it really does feel like the same house. It looks for the most part the same in each movie. Like they made some changes based on whatever they're doing in this one for their attraction and their show, if you will, right? Some new decorations through some shit in the basement or whatever. But overall, with some more age, of course, they add a little bit of that aged character to the set design. It's just even with the slight changes, the overall feel and look of the house or the hotel or whatever stays the same, and I appreciate that attention to detail. I think that was a nice touch. And this is something like if you watch all three of them like Chris and I did, and Binks, you didn't you watched one and two and then watch this one a month later, so almost similar. You look at it a slightly different way. The continuity of the story, the continuity of the look, you know, some sequels, the set design doesn't even look like you're in the same fucking house.

SPEAKER_05 36:54

Sean, you really managed to pull out the one compliment I had for this movie for the best part of the entire thing.

SPEAKER_04 37:01

Oh no.

SPEAKER_05 37:02

Because this franchise did manage to do what even Halloween could not. Because in Halloween four, five, six, you got the fucking Myers house all of a sudden becoming a gothic castle that Nostaratu should be popping out of. But yet, this movie manages to be consistent. This franchise manages to be consistent, and that's something that can be respected.

SPEAKER_03 37:22

Well, that's also probably because they went back to look at the footage from the first two films so often when they were in editing, you know, they had to make sure there was no other choice. They had to make sure that it was correct because they were gonna feature the first two films so much. Yeah, I already gave a little bit of a nod in terms of what I appreciated in terms of the looks of the kills, but I'm going to shit on production real fast, if I may. This movie probably would have been better if I had muted it because the sound design was so absolutely atrocious. It was like the equivalent of a child playing with a soundboard. The amount of times that that VHS rewind tape thing was happening for every five seconds that it showed you a clip from the previous films, I was going to lose my mind. And then the cherry on top is towards the end when the people are screaming in the basement. There was a pig squeal over what should have been a woman screaming. That was a pig squeal sound. What? Like what? I don't even have words. And then that's sound, right? Sound design, trash. CGI? Why is it getting worse? Why am I getting a PowerPoint flame for the lake of fire? What was that?

SPEAKER_00 38:37

Why are you using CGI in a low budget film, anyways? You know what I mean? No business.

SPEAKER_03 38:43

Correct. No one has gasoline in a flame? No business.

SPEAKER_00 38:46

No.

SPEAKER_03 38:47

None whatsoever. But I'm telling you, it's the audacity. They really were like, we got some more bucks, so let's CGI this thing because we're the shit. No, no. Stop. What was necessary though, I think, was more screen time for my boy Harvey. Probably the only funny character in the whole entire film. And my favorite scene was god damn it, it's the same one as yours, isn't it, Chris?

SPEAKER_05 39:14

No, it's not, but I have thoughts on Harvey.

SPEAKER_03 39:17

Oh, I'm sure. But I only appreciated him because he does give someone that can get shit done. And maybe I was just like, Oh, I can relate to that to a certain extent, making sure people are doing the things that they have to do, checking off the boxes, making sure that the project management skills are on peak. But there's a particular scene where the lights are going on and off being tested, and the girls reaching out to him. That I actually was like, you know, this is what I expected, or rather, not what I expected, what should have been expected for this film. I wanted to see this kind of fear, this kind of attention to detail for a found footage. So one morsel of positivity that I can provide.

SPEAKER_05 40:01

That's something that's actually pretty solid. I think one of the ones that I really loved, especially this is again one of those moments where I said this movie's at its best when we have some of those found footage scares that we got in the original films. And that's when Jane goes back into the hotel on a dare. And then we have our clown smooches. She's out here really doing the damn thing. She's I mean, we've talked about a lot in on this podcast. You fuck around and you find out. She found out, she found out real quick, and there's a point where she realizes that the clown head is turned and is looking in a way that it wasn't before.

SPEAKER_04 40:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 40:40

The fear on her eyes then cut to what again, this is like a note of comedy in the movie. We have Harvey and we have Russell, and we have a third person there in these meetings where they're just recapping what the fuck is going on during this production, and it felt almost like the office in those moments. So I love this almost sweet and savory moment of okay, we have the fear, we have that clown doing its thing, we have Jane getting the shit scared out of her, and then we have some absolute ridiculous Michael Scott bullshit moments later.

SPEAKER_00 41:17

It did have that fucking office feel to it in those moments 100%. You know, the whole scene with Jane going back into the house, I'll touch on for just a second. It's not my favorite scene, but because you brought it up, Chris, I think that moment that you really liked where you were seeing the clown's head turning. What really kind of bothered me about the progression of all this is that in that moment, she has the camera flipped around back at her and she sees this clown moving or has moved or whatever and freaks the fuck out. But moments fucking before that, she has the camera flipped around facing her, and there's the entire ghost of the entire cast of the first fucking film, and she doesn't see shit. So there's a miss here. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_05 42:02

It's because the camera saw it, not her.

SPEAKER_00 42:04

Oh, is that what okay? Maybe.

SPEAKER_05 42:07

It's kind of like when you take a picture and you have the spirit orbs, you don't see that shit in person, it's just you know the film.

SPEAKER_00 42:12

I guess, but I was just thinking about that right now. It's kind of like, hey, wait a second.

SPEAKER_03 42:17

I'm right there with you, Sean. And Chris, don't you dare try to give them more credit. It's all a lie.

SPEAKER_05 42:23

Listen, I'm just giving you the excuse they probably would give if they were here to defend themselves, which they're not.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

Which they're not. And the excuses would come because I've got another one for you in terms of explain this to me. Isabel, okay, disappears. No one can find her. All of these photos, though, she's got 'em. Ma'am, why are you taking a selfie of you in front of a wine rack? Why? Why are you taking a selfie of yourself at the top of the stairs? And in all of these selfies, you're barely in the fucking picture. Half of your face is in it because you've got to make enough room for them to edit and photoshop the original cast in all of these photos. It was so forced. It was so stupid. It made zero sense.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

It's like a snap Snapchat photo.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Yeah. She's having a little hot girl fall. Yeah, hot girl fall, but she's taking terrible photos. It's like I r she's getting the camera and is not even pointing it at herself because she knows, well, I gotta make enough room to have everyone else fit in this picture. What? It was just so it was a reach. There's a film called Lake Mongo that kind of does that a little bit where it's like pictures, not necessarily selfies, but they do that. Oh, there's something in the distance really, really well. We'll talk about this in a second, but Haunting of Hill House is another that obviously features it a lot. There's lots of films that do this so well. You couldn't reference any of them when you were trying to do this approach. My girl was great. She knows how to take selfies better than that.

SPEAKER_00 44:00

Yeah, there are some interesting choices in some of these film or like scenes throughout the films, but I can tell you, I'll give a little bit more credit to this film for my favorite scene. And even though I want to preface this, even though I don't really like the way that the film ended and the overall message of good versus evil and Russell being an angel of some kind, I don't really like that. I want to preface that.

SPEAKER_03 44:26

Let's go let's go finish it.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

But if that's the way we're going, reflecting on the film, if that's the way we're going and that's what they're going with, then my favorite scene is when it's right when they're at the bar right before opening night of their show, because the more you look back on the scene, the more this is an undeniable parallel to The Last Supper. It's basically foreshadowing Russell's divine nature as an angel. Russell ends up ordering like bread and wine, which ends up being eaten and shared by the rest of the cast and crew, and it's also their final dinner before their opening night, or their last supper before Russell basically sacrifices himself to save all of mankind.

SPEAKER_05 45:08

Okay, well, that's deeper, and I can appreciate that more than what I thought you were gonna say. I thought you were gonna say your fucking favorite scene was Russell showing up with the original fucking Cast of Hellhouse, and that would have said, Sean, that's a step too far. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 45:21

No, not at all. Not that.

SPEAKER_03 45:23

Absolutely. I was scared. I was absolutely scared. That approach and the parallels between this film and The Last Supper is shocking. And truly, the directors need to give you some kind of money, royalties of some kind. You need to be representative in the writer's room because wow, it's almost so sad and depressing that that flew over my head as a major Catholic. So that just goes to show you. But if it had been that ending, Sean, our friendship would have been in question because how fucking dare they? I just mentioned Haunting of Hill House, so I'm gonna tap into that real fast. How dare they, Haunting of Hill House slash supernatural this shit, okay? I will not stand for it. Both of my favorite shows, Hill House specifically. How dare they? They squandered it. They just how how could they do this? And I know why. It's because Haw Russell is a hot guy, and as a hot guy, they decided, well, let's make him an angel of God. Oh god. I can't believe it. With a scar that looks like he's from Baldur's Gate 3. It's just incredible.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

He's literally saying, All right, let's pass over or whatever. Like it seems like he's trying to lead them. This is how dumb this is. He's trying to lead this crew, like maybe to heaven. I don't know. But this crew is just dumb. They're like, oh, what do you want to do? Go to the bar? Whatever. Like they're trapped in the house, but he's also saying, let's we can move on. It was kind of conflicting. Is if you're gonna go down the road of everyone that dies in the house is stuck in the house or the hotel or whatever, then it feels an awful lot like at the end Russell's like, come with me.

SPEAKER_03 47:06

But that's what was so confusing because, right, with the analogy and the comparison to Haunting of Hill House and Smallville, right? I was confused because Hill House famously is if you die there, you're stuck there. So I was like, okay, so Hill House and Hell House? Haha, funny, great, whatever. Right. Now, if we're going supernatural, then yeah, Russell as an angel of God or an archangel trying to guide people through purgatory, that's a very massive plot line in supernatural. So I'm like, so what show are you trying to replicate? What famous storyline are you trying to reference? Because are they going to heaven or crossing through purgatory and that's what this place is? Or is this just a stuck here forever purgatory? They couldn't even decide. They couldn't even decide. But you know what they did decide is that that hot guy's gotta be an angel. That guy's gotta have purpose.

SPEAKER_05 47:58

Yeah. You know, I still struggle though to find the purpose of the big bad who looks like so much of a little bitch that I can never take him seriously in this whole franchise. Andrew Tully, what the fuck? You look like if the wind blew just right, you'd fucking disappear.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

Yeah. Absolutely. Andrew Tully wasn't super, yeah, it wasn't super scary or like intimidating as a main antagonist type thing, maybe like a main antagonist in the lore, but really didn't show up all that much.

SPEAKER_03 48:31

He looks like a basic librarian.

SPEAKER_05 48:33

Yeah, truly. And that's where I think I struggle with this whole okay, we have Andrew Tully, the big bad, the evil of the film, and then you have Hawkeye Russell, and it's just it's too much. It's too much. It's not even a fair fight at that point.

SPEAKER_03 48:47

And then they bring back the original cast, like it hasn't been a couple of years, friends, you know? Like, guys. Because already two of them already had made their cameos before. So, guys, it what's going on? Could you not find another film to do? Do we need some help? Do I need to contact your agents? There's gotta be other stuff out there for you. Do you really gotta come back here? I I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_00 49:10

I mean, not if they're looking at some of these reels, you know. Jesus. They're looking at some of these reels, they might not be getting other work, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 49:17

Ain't no sizzle on those reels.

SPEAKER_00 49:19

Yeah, because let's be honest, a lot of the acting like we've been talking about is not great. You know what I mean? I think, you know, Russell as a character, not even talking about the angel bullshit, right? Just the acting by Gabriel as Russell was just not great to me. And the way that they tried to make him like a red herring, almost like this is the bad guy, but then turns out to be the good guy going into the third act of the film where everything stuff just felt like a little off with him. It just felt like such a weird direction to go in. And so I don't know. I don't know the characters in this, whereas I feel like some of maybe the actions taken, not even actions taken, there's like relatable moments to some of the characters, but the acting is just so off-putting, and there's almost borderline. I'ma maybe abuse the word charm because I feel like there's some borderline charm to like how bad it is at some points, because you get into this really like bad B movie found footage type shit, and I think that just takes a specific person to really like love this kind of shit, and when it's not like great, I don't know, it's tough.

SPEAKER_05 50:30

It really is tough, and that's where I think I struggled with even Harvey as a character because he's one of the ones that felt like a caricature. There were some moments where he was okay, Sean, charming. Hey. There were some moments where he was winning my favor, but then there are others where I'm like, oh wow, you're just as bad as the rest of them, and you're honestly you're overdoing it, and I don't know, I just wasn't really getting I I just didn't really feel the need for sassy gay in this movie.

SPEAKER_03 50:58

And that's what's happening with a lot of the characters here. They're all for lack of a better word, a token something. You know, we've the token Latina, we have the token gay sass, we have the token white girl who's gonna fuck around and find out, and it's just unnecessary. It's unnecessary. There's no excuse really. This is not early 2000s. Let's get a little bit more creative here, and at the very least, some purpose for all of these people. But you just give me a ton of new cast members, and the only way that I'm gonna remember them, unfortunately, is by this tokenism, and I hate it. It's not okay. Occasionally Harvey was funny, I agree. And there's some moments where it's like, yeah, I can see that he's the one that I could probably relate to in terms of getting shit done, but the lines were so forced that it's like, ah, yeah, this is real cheesy and not in a good way. It's giving the bottom of the barrel to be.

SPEAKER_00 51:55

Yeah. You know who I did like though? I liked the moments with I think his name was Robert Lyons, the dude with the white and gray beard in the film. I forget his character, I think Theodore something in the movie. His interviews, as short and like as few as we got throughout this movie, and even move in in the other franchises, I think he's in the first one for sure, were just like, I don't know, they were there was something about him. There a little twist of humor that I thought was a little campy, a little fun. So I liked those moments. I thought that was a good character.

SPEAKER_03 52:26

Yeah, he was one that when he did have a comment to make, it was like, Yeah, things went south, you know, and I could appreciate that because that's the kind of stereotype, I suppose, in terms of commentating on a mockumentary that I would expect. There's gonna be someone that's like, Yep, should hit the fan alright, you know? Because it did.

SPEAKER_05 52:48

Yeah. He seems like the kind of guy who just loves to rev revel in some gossip, and that's really the energy that he carried, honestly, throughout this whole franchise.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

Yeah, definitely the gossip dude. I think we kind of should have got a little bit more of Max, to be honest with you. The little stoner dude with the long hair and the mustache literally looks like every hipster from Los Angeles 100%. But I feel like if we got a little more of that dude, could have had some good moments. It's a possibility there.

SPEAKER_03 53:19

Possibly could have punched my TV as well. Who knows? No, but I agree. I agree. Maybe just a few more one-liners here and there could have made up for a lot of the disaster that is this film. What wasn't a disaster entirely, and what I will say is the best part of this film is the piano melody. Because to your point earlier, in terms of consistency, the piano melody seems to be like the franchise's theme song. And it's really the only thing that's ominous about Hellhouse to this point, and I enjoy it.

SPEAKER_05 53:51

Okay, the piano, but also the fucking clown. Listen, this is the uh the frustrating thing. The best parts of this movie are Hellhouse LLC, the first one.

SPEAKER_00 54:00

And we can actually say that because a majority of it is in this film, so I guess this is the title of it all too. Uh I think the best part of this movie is also what is kind of fucked up and became the worst part of this movie, but it's also the best part, I guess, in a way. It's the lore of the movie initially. I've talked about it from the beginning of this episode to now, and I'll keep talking about it because I feel like the lore of this movie and how this was able to carry on the story and intertwine some new elements was kind of cool. I just wish they were able to flush out some things a little bit more, make some sense of some things, or give us just a little bit of something different than this like angelic bullshit. But and and maybe otherwise they should have just left it ominous like its predecessors a little bit, and there should have just been a not a full resolution or not a full answer there. But the lore in and of itself, I think, of the Abaddon and Tully and all that stuff, probably the best part of the movie, but it's also the worst part because they don't really handle it well in this one.

SPEAKER_05 55:04

Yeah. See, there's a lot of should've, could've, would have in here, but there's also a lot of you just didn't. Honestly, I think even Andrew Tully and the Abaddon Hotel as a whole is such a stretch for me because again, the mystery the mystery, the mystique that you that you mentioned, Sean, of the first film is where I think this movie really shines, and then that's why I would watch that film every year for spooky season, but never this one again. No more.

SPEAKER_00 55:31

Yeah, I think it's hard to really revisit this one, and I don't even know. Even getting through the whole franchise again may not be like the best choice. I do agree, Hellhouse LLC, the first film in this franchise, is worth re-watching a hundred percent. You could do like a double feature of that movie with Blair Witch in even better double features. What I talked about earlier is with the last broadcast because I feel like they have very similar feels of just like chaos to them at times. And so I would definitely do that. But this one, it's probably gonna take a lot for me to revisit this one or even getting through anything other than the first one in this franchise, but never say never. There may be a time where I just want to throw it on in the background, so we'll see.

SPEAKER_03 56:14

Yeah, I've gotta say that I'm going to delete this one from my brain, and I can happily do so, I think. There's no way that I would revisit this film. I probably would have never even bothered watching it if it hadn't been for this podcast. I think it's such a steep step down from the original that I can successfully forget about it. But I do hope that there is better things to come. I'm gonna have a little bit of optimism here, right? And there was even like a box set for Hellhouse that I wanted to get, but then I remembered a majority of it so far I don't like, so that's not gonna happen for me. But maybe down the road, when there's maybe a few more installments and I'll feel a little bit better about it, I can buy it and then I'll just skip those CDs.

SPEAKER_05 57:03

Well, we'll see, but for now, there you have it. Folks, no need to waste your time because Hellhouse LLC3, Lake of Fire, has been a universal hack. We certainly had a robust discussion here, but that conversation doesn't end here by any means. There's a lot more to say.

SPEAKER_00 57:19

There is a lot more to say, and if you want to hear some of that, some of this off-the-wall conversation, consider becoming one of our patrons and check out the B side of this episode where we discuss how we would make our own personal haunted attraction come to life. You can visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to enjoy more of the show with early access, extended episodes, bonus content, and live shows.

SPEAKER_03 57:45

We may have not enjoyed this film, but if you enjoyed listening to this episode, don't be shy and leave us a five star review wherever you get your podcasts. This helps us continue to deliver great content to your ears.

SPEAKER_05 57:56

We'll see you next time, folks, and remember, looking back, maybe that was a red flag.

SPEAKER_00 58:01

See you all bitches on the flip side.