354: Final Destination 3 (2006)

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Oh my god, I'm so wet.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Spooky seeds and greetings and salutations and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. There is someone walking behind you. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack.

SPEAKER_05 0:28

A total joke, a waste of time, or a slash. Totally killer pun intended.

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We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rateing these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast, and this week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_05 0:47

When else are you gonna see a dick that big?

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The classic horror connoisseur Sean.

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I doubted if a shot of Stacy Kobayashi's camel toe is gonna make it in there.

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The paranormal paramour. Binks.

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Look, if you ever have to come to my funeral, bring me a PSP or something. That way I'll have something to do.

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And the Scream Queen Paris. I just want to make sure that we look our best for all those kids that died that night who will never get a graduation.

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This week we're exploring the next installment of a franchise built on the inescapable, relentless march of death.

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Stick around for our B-side at the end of this episode where we talk about why people have a fear of roller coasters and what crazy roller coasters are out there that you can go ride right now. These are usually a perk for our patrons and Apple Podcast subscribers, but our B-sides are free sides all the way through Halloween.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Three years after its sequel released and traumatized audiences with trucks hauling logs, this franchise returned with its third installment, continuing its exploration of Fate and Death's design. The story follows Wendy Christensen and her friends as they board a roller coaster for what should be a fun night out. But when Wendy has a terrifying premonition of the ride ending in disaster, she and a group of classmates manage to escape the crash before it happens. What they don't realize, however, is death isn't done with them yet, and their escape sets off a deadly chain of events as each survivor faces a gruesome fate. The film was developed with DVD interactivity in mind, giving viewers the ability to actually alter key moments in its story. And while the film was initially considered for a 3D release, the format was ultimately deemed too costly, though the film retained its distinct high-stakes spectacle. Now production was completed in January 2006, just days before its release in February, and it quickly earned praise for its inventive death sequences and thrilling premise. This week we're talking about Final Destination 3. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_04 2:44

I have seen Up Through Number 4, The Final Destination, which I distinctly remember watching in a theater. I think the rest of the series leading up, though, was probably rented from Blockbuster.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

Thank God this wasn't a 3D movie. I just don't like 3D movies. I feel like that would have just killed the whole vibe.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Should have made you watch My Bloody Valentine 3D or Jaws 3D.

SPEAKER_05 3:07

I'm just not into it. I did see this one when it first came out in 2006, though, but I honestly don't think I've seen it since 2006. I may have somewhere, but I really can't recall a time outside of seeing it when it first came out. And it's not that the Final Destination franchise is bad by any means, but it's not a franchise that's like amongst my top, and I don't go to it often. I'm not trying to say anything bad about the franchise, it's just not a group of movies that I often say, I want to go watch this. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

That's completely fair, Sean, because we last visited this franchise in 2020.

SPEAKER_03 3:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

While we generally like that one, I know Paris and I both slashed Final Destination 2. Somehow this franchise has not emerged in the annual catalog.

SPEAKER_02 3:53

It had to have been waiting for me. That's the reality of the situation. It had to have been waiting for me because this is actually one of my favorite horror franchises.

SPEAKER_00 4:01

Thank you, Bangs.

SPEAKER_02 4:02

I've seen this franchise from start to finish multiple times. So much so that this time around, coincidentally, my old boss from when I was working at a previous institution, a good friend of mine, she doesn't like horror movies, but she loves Final Destination. So she texts me one day and says, How would you feel about us doing a Final Destination marathon? Wake up early in the morning, we do all five. And I said, Stephanie, that's a brilliant idea, and I'll tell you why. Because we're actually recording this episode later on. So let's fucking do it. And that's what we did. And I have done that so many times, and I've loved it every single time. Nothing hits like watching Final Destination from start to finish with the slew of kills that happen.

SPEAKER_01 4:48

What what's that on here? Is that the sound of a Paris and Binx Final Destination Marathon watch-along episode?

SPEAKER_00 4:55

Oh. This is a woman who is speaking sense. Binx is the only person who has spoken truth here tonight. Honestly, Sean, I think it says more about you than it does about the Final Destination franchise. Oh. This is an incredible franchise, one of the greatest of all time, that even horror fans and non-horror fans alike can enjoy. And there is not a bad Final Destination movie. It's just what are you looking for today? All right.

SPEAKER_02 5:22

I couldn't have said it better.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

Yeah. I enjoyed this movie when I first saw it, and I've seen it several times. I remember within the Final Destination franchise ranking the original pretty high, this one right beneath it, then two, then four, and then so on and so forth. But it's been a while since I actually watched this one. I bought the whole collection last year. So I was very pleased and also very tempted to just watch the whole fucking franchise today. Watching this again, I was struck by a very odd realization. Now I've discussed many times on this podcast what a love-hate, mostly hate relationship I have with the early 2000s. This movie, however, is one of very, very few doses of positive association I have with the early 2000s. They hit you with the hair swoops, they hit you with the Motorola Razor. There's just good shit in every part of this movie.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

The digital camera culture of it all was very emblematic of that time. This movie's a time capsule.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

It was really feeling like I was back in high school. But like not the parts of high school that I hated, not any of that. This was just like, oh, okay, yes, I know this place.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Yeah, this takes me back to junior year in college. You know, you just have that 2000s aesthetic. And this is, I think, something I might have been looking forward to, but it just brings you to a moment in time that I can remember distinctly. And you can't tell if you're watching a show from the WB until the kills hit. Everything is just so overly dramatic.

SPEAKER_05 6:56

That's such a great way to put it. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so good. Yeah. I think I was in freshman year of college when this came out, something like that. You have fun while watching this movie, you have fun while watching most, if not all, of the Final Destination movies. These movies are also fun because you're talking about doing like a marathon and watching all five back to back to back. If I watched all five of these back to back to back, I would literally be walking out of my house in a fucking bubble. Every little thing is gonna make me think that it could fucking kill me. So I don't know how good for my health it is to watch all five of these back to back because it's just gonna create some everyday fears that I really just need to suppress.

SPEAKER_02 7:38

If you already live life like that, then watching this entire marathon really does nothing to you because you're already in that state of mind constantly.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

I was gonna say the same thing, Binx. I think our brains are always doing this, so watching it play out in a film is satisfying, whereas Sean isn't always thinking of the worst case scenario at all times, and therefore the scratches a different itch for him.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:59

Okay, but I do think there is something here, and I'd be curious to see if anyone's done a study or could do a study on this. What was the societal impact and the level or the acknowledgement of anxiety pre-imposed the final destination franchise?

SPEAKER_02 8:17

Oh, it's gotta be astronomical. It has to be.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

I bet, yeah. We all see it with the log truck, we get it. But within our generation specifically, how much more intense is our anxiety in our existential crisis? Not because of the housing crash and the economy and all the fucking other terrible things that have happened in our lifetime. Oh, but let's just attribute it to the Final Destination franchise, making us more aware.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

I know people to this day that quote the movie, but not anything to do with the movie. They just see something happening and they'll say, That's some Final Destination shit.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Genuinely, I've said it so many times the last two weeks. Some final destination shit.

SPEAKER_02 8:56

Look at the impact. Doesn't that tell you how incredible this franchise is?

SPEAKER_03 8:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

People have probably never even seen a single film of this franchise, and they will say those things because it knows and that tells me great branding. And does that mean that people also have a need to medicate for their anxiety as a result? Potentially.

SPEAKER_05 9:13

Big pharma. I definitely think this movie contributed to my way of thoughts. Even now, like we're in the spooky season, right? I'm decorating my house for Halloween. In a month or so, I'm gonna be decorating my house for Christmas. And I just think to myself, every time I get on this ladder to get up to the top peak of my house to hang some lights, I'm like, what could happen? I don't know. I could slip off the ladder, I can get my foot caught up in a strand of lights. The strand of lights can basically fling me through the window, a shard of glass can slip my throat, I could just die just like that. I don't know. And I don't know if I would have thought about this if I didn't see all the bullshit that played out in these five movies.

SPEAKER_02 9:51

I have to say that's exactly why I just love revisiting this franchise so much because the reality is that as you're watching it, you feel like all of the things that happen feel so real. There are things that you do in your day-to-day, they're things that you maybe do with your friends, or you would go out and and do. And it's the most mundane things as well that could be the circumstance that ends you, and not trying to get everybody freaked out already, but that's really what this film feeds off of. That's what makes this franchise so good. It's the smallest of things. Moving a pair of scissors from one quarter to the next could be what ends you. God, this is like this is very anxiety-inducing as we talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 10:30

It plays on a fear that we all have.

SPEAKER_05 10:32

Yeah. It's super relatable, is I think the right term for that. I also think there's a level of like mystery or intrigue, maybe about the film. Like you really want to figure out the cycle with these characters and find the way out, you know. I think that's a good part of the film, too, is like just being with them and trying to figure out how they're gonna get out of this shit.

SPEAKER_04 10:53

I have a very different take because I feel like I don't care about the mystery. I don't care about the cycle. It's like a good zombie film where everyone should die by the end of the movie. Okay. And so I'm watching this, not giving a crap who survives. It's like everyone's gonna go. I just want to see how they go out and in which order. You know, actually, the order doesn't really count that much in my book, but you know, I will say, you guys mentioned a binge. I did binge three of these films. So I did one, two, and three, back to back. I didn't keep going because I didn't plan well enough to get it all done in time to watch four and five. But surprisingly enough, I will say they had a really consistent feel when it comes to things like the story. Most of the time, when you watch something in a binge, especially when it's kind of the same type of recipe, you get a bit bored. But you're watching this and it's everything's just over the top to me. That's why it doesn't inspire like stress for me. I'm watching it, it's not realistic, especially the emotional displays we get are not realistic, where we should care about things and we're not, and we're caring about other things way too much. It's just, I don't know. That's the take that I have from it. It doesn't make me like concerned that a ladder's gonna fall and somehow trigger a chain reaction, like you know, Ru Goldberg style, and I'm gonna end up tripping down a manhole or something, but it's just me.

SPEAKER_05 12:11

You're the enigma.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

I don't know. Maybe ignorance is really just bliss.

SPEAKER_00 12:17

It could be.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

I mean I mean, good for you, Mac.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

I thought of all these things before these movies put them out. Like these are all thoughts I've had.

SPEAKER_02 12:24

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 12:25

The anxiety is showing. Also, though, Mac, you talked about doing your binge. Can we all just sit and appreciate the fact that we get to watch Final Destination Bloodlines in theaters next year? Alleged, allegedly in IMAX.

SPEAKER_05 12:39

Yeah, 2025.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Final Destination 6 is called Final Destination Bloodlines. We'll drop a link in the show notes.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

Oh my god, I'm so wet.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

It's gonna be one hell of a time.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

I met the actor that's in that and I knew this was being filmed, but I didn't know it was called this or that it had a release date.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

Incredible. Well, we're gonna have to get a binge on. Obviously, we've talked a lot about anxiety and feeling that anxiousness and the fear when you're watching this movie, but I want to tell you some other things that I felt aside from the nostalgia. I felt joy, I felt warmth of positive memories, I felt sheer entertainment because this was a great thing to just have on in the background and enjoy every step of the way of. I had a nice little throwback moment looking at Deckard from Halloween Resurrection. You'll know him from Luck of the Irish and the Disney in the Disney Channel original film. But something else I felt was a lot of joy and a lot of glee. And I say glee, and I'm honestly surprised. I forgot the glee parallels here because you have McKinley High.

SPEAKER_05 13:42

I'm just watching Binx's reaction to this and it's priceless. Biggs can deal with it. It's fucking priceless.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

This is the most relevant time to bring this up, Binks, because it's McKinley High. And the guy who's the fucking security guard on the roller coaster played Coach Tanaka in Glee.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

Are you fucking with me right now?

SPEAKER_05 14:04

I am so serious. Oh, the pipeline, the fucking glee.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

It's not even a pipeline, it's just fucking receipts. It's a direct connect.

SPEAKER_05 14:14

It's a direct road straight to glee.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

It is not even six degrees of Kevin Bacon.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

It is a direct connection. They exist within the same universe for sure.

SPEAKER_04 14:25

That's why they're all so happy because they avoided this.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Literally, this was Coach Tanaka's job before being a football coach. He went to a football coach because he felt so goddamn guilty and had to give back to the kids that he murdered on the roller coaster.

SPEAKER_00 14:38

I wasn't really surprised by anything in this film. I was surprised to notice that there is a pigeon through line in the Final Destination universe that I hadn't noticed until tonight. Yeah. Did anything disappoint me? I think some of the language that was used could be modified.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Yeah, that's definitely one of those scenarios where But it was also like absolutely what was being said. So Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

That's what makes this movie a time capsule.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 15:03

It is a time capsule.

SPEAKER_02 15:05

Exactly. You can tell that this is the early 2000s, all right, which in some cases you love it for the fashion and digital cameras, which are now being very much in trend right now. But then in terms of the language and the large diamond necklaces that certain character wears, that it's like, oh boy, this is rough. How did anyone dress or talk that way? It's quite disturbing. But you mentioned earlier we've got a Dom star, Ryan Merriman, who's in you know, luck of the Irish, smart house. Name a d decom and he was probably in it. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, are you kidding me? Main star, incredible.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

I've come to find that I might be obsessed with her. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

And as everyone should be, because she's an icon. There's Chris Limke, I think you say his last name. He's Ginger Snaps, our main boy from Ginger Snaps. We recorded we did that episode not too long ago. Personal favorite from my days watching the N was Alex Johnson. I loved Instant Star growing up and so weird. So love it. And then Tony Todd. Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_05 16:11

Tony Todd.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

When he Easter eggs, it's just it's the best. It's the sauce.

SPEAKER_05 16:17

We love it. I was actually surprised how much this film worked for being essentially a remake of the first film with new characters and new methods of death. Like I shit you not, this is pretty much very similar to the first one, and I was super surprised that it happened to be okay and it was still interesting to watch. I also really enjoyed the score and the soundtrack for this film. I felt like that also just really worked for the film, and I was kind of vibing with it as I was watching this movie. I think my only disappointment, maybe in the rules aspect of this movie, and that is probably just a me thing, not understanding the rules or exactly what is going on in this cycle of death or deaths or order of things or what have you. And we can get into that later in the spoiler zone, but I just thought there were some questionable events, and I just couldn't wrap my head around it.

SPEAKER_04 17:08

I think I was just surprised by the number of kills in this film. You know, if thinking back to it, I don't remember there being this many in these movies, but they really went hard in this film. They did. They wanted to just pile it up. And for this type of movie, that's what you want. That's what you're looking for.

SPEAKER_01 17:25

Yeah, but I think what makes it so good in this one is it feels for some fucking reason more plausible than the deaths in the previous film for me. The sequel in the last film, obvious obviously it felt like it was just going bigger. It felt like it was getting more intense. I remember there being a character who I absolutely fucking hated. It involved a frying pan, some fucking spaghetti noodles, slipping in the alley, ladder to the eye. It was just excessive. But in this one, I find that I liked the characters so much more. And I think the deaths, or at least the circumstances surrounding the deaths, almost made it more frightening because it felt like very plausible scenarios. Dramatic, but plausible.

SPEAKER_04 18:11

I I could get that. I watched the whole binge, right? I did one, two, and three. And when I'm watching the three of them, this one definitely stuck in my memory way more than the second one did, except for, of course, the logs. The first one didn't really stick in my memory as much as this one did. Number four, because it's the most recent one I had watched in my life before this binge, definitely has a place up in this brain of mine as well.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

Chris, I feel like Evan's kill in Final Destination 2 with the spaghetti is actually one of the greatest Final Destination kills of all time. So that was actually crazy of you to say just now. And I think maybe you should apologize.

SPEAKER_05 18:49

That was a spice of meet the ball.

SPEAKER_00 18:51

I just hated Evan and I was ready for him to be expired. Oh well, of course. That's why watching him die in such a crazy way was so good. But I do agree. The kills here are a little bit more plausible, if not a little bit more insane in the Rube Goldberg machine department. These kind of are like the most Rube Goldberg-y of all the franchise, I think. So many things like rolling off of shelves and like landing on a flip of a switch, and then a door is closed, then a plug is pulled, like so much of that going on in these ones, more so than the others. Which I don't hate, but it is really elaborate in a way that I can't help but find satisfying.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

Honestly, everything in the hardware store just makes me feel like the time I fell through my roof and thinking about how close that was for to a final destination moment.

SPEAKER_04 19:34

Oh my god. I will say that the kills in this film are the type that made everybody super paranoid all the time. Anytime somebody watches one of these movies, they walk out and they look at everything differently. I remember walking out of the theater with a friend watching number four, and she was freaked out by like a parking light, like street lights that are in the parking lot. She's like, oh my God, I thought that was moving. I thought it was gonna fall on me. I don't find them scary. They're more ridiculous to me than they are scary, but people find these movies scary. And not the type of scary where you're like, ooh, somebody could be lurking in the shadows, but the type of scary where you're like everything that I interact with is out to kill me.

SPEAKER_05 20:14

That's the thing, right? Like you are only watching these movies for the creative kill scenes, right? I mean, that's the thing. Like, I don't think this movie is looking to scare you in the way that a paranormal or supernatural horror film is, or not even the traditional slasher horror flick either. I I think what this film does is find ways to play off of the fears that you might have in everyday life, you know, roller coasters and whatnot. And I can see a lot of people, to your point, Mac, thinking twice about certain things after watching this movie. And I think that's the fear.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

I totally agree, especially when it comes to like tanning beds. If you've ever been in a tanning bed, you've had this thought, it's so scary. I do agree. Final Destination has like a really unique way of scaring you, but to Mac's point, I do think that these kills are like so ridiculous that Final Destination is also somewhat a comedy. Like I feel like Death as a character is nothing if not a comedy queen, and that's what kind of kind of what makes it really fun.

SPEAKER_02 21:08

Absolutely. At the end of the day, especially if you're revisiting this film, you start to look at death as, you know, oh, she's such a silly girl. You know, she's just out here being silly in her brat summer. Just out here. It's giving very brat, it's giving, you know, she's just a little tired and she just wants to do some fun, you know. She wants to see what she can cook up. Quite literally, in some scenarios. Either you're gonna be extremely paranoid and never want to leave your house, or you'll have a silly good time laughing and being shocked by the creativity that death encounters and creates.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

And it's that creativity that is really something to behold. Because here's the thing we are three movies into this fucking franchise. We know what's coming, and yet they still serve gold. It's interesting because we have the first movie and And it is a group of high school students who deplane after a premonition. In the second movie, there's a mix of people. It's a group of friends, it's a cop, it's adults, random strangers on the highway. And even though this movie returns to the high school of it all, the tight-knit circle of it all, it's the creativity in its kills and its execution. And although it's not really following different rules, it manages to tell different stories. And honestly, the the kills are what you fucking stick around for in this franchise. So as long as they feel fresh, it's going to feel original.

SPEAKER_05 22:39

Yeah, I think that's the thing. Because yeah, I said it earlier. This movie is basically a remake of the first Final Destination film. So from that standpoint, it's not super original. But I don't think that it works against the film at the same time. Exactly what you just said, Chris, right? If you're gonna give us some good creative kills, some different characters, different storylines within those characters, it just ends up working as long as you can deliver on those key essential things. So yeah, it's pretty much the exact same formula as the first film, but the slight changes that this one made and the creative kills still manage to keep me entertained throughout its runtime.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Yeah, because the formula works. It's a really good formula. It's so refillable, it's so rewatchable. I can't wait to rate this movie. It sounds like we're gonna be on the right side of history tonight, everyone.

SPEAKER_02 23:24

Thank God. At the end of the day, the impact of this franchise cannot be debated. It is sound, it is true, it is fact. And at the end of the day, whether the lore or the execution makes sense, if certain things are just so silly, if the acting is trash, that none of that matters. What matters is that this film is a quick watch, it's something to throw on. Either you're here watching the kills or you're not. But one thing is true, it's original enough original enough for me to capture a wide range of audiences. Because this is not something that maybe only is exclusive to horror fans. It's something that everyone can watch, that everyone knows and can consume and appreciate. And even if you kind of like a psychological thriller of it all, you got something to take away from here. You can get the lore part, like how are you going to cheat death? If you just like gore and silliness and the camp, you're gonna enjoy the kills. If you love little romances, sometimes some of these films, including this one, certainly has some odd romance plots, but they're there.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

They sure are.

SPEAKER_02 24:31

There's a little bit of everything for everyone.

SPEAKER_04 24:33

What's nice here is that this feels like a Final Destination film from start to finish. And if it had any other ending, it would not be aptly named. I think it earns its title by the ending alone.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

1000% it does. And it's actually something that in retrospect I've been I've been reminded of, even in modern media. I'm not going to spoil the series, and I'm also not going to spoil the end of this movie. But you out there, if you have seen both this and Invincible, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Because holy shit, is it brutal?

SPEAKER_05 25:10

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

It's a nice little Venn diagram of media.

SPEAKER_05 25:13

I like that a lot. Yeah, I think the ending still sort of delivers a similar fate to the first one as well. I I still enjoyed the ending, though. I liked how the movie, even at the very end, just kind of fades to black and all you're left with is the sound of what's happening. I thought that was a really nice touch. There was an original ending to this movie that didn't pan out due to some complications, but if they had been able to pull it off, it would have been kind of cool. I would have liked to see that, but it is what it is.

SPEAKER_02 25:40

Yeah, I feel like this ending, although really good, I sometimes question the character decisions that led them to this point. And sometimes when we get these time jumps or these epilogues, I struggle with them because it seems like at that point you have to then throw away a little bit of the lore or the likelihood of that being the case. So we'll get into it more in the spoiler zone for sure so that we don't reveal it. But sometimes these endings are what makes me think, like, oh, yeah, that's why this isn't necessarily like the most outstanding, well, to some people, not the most outstanding piece of written work ever. To me, I think it's just one hell of a movie. I rate all of these movies like five stars most of the time because I'm like, I'm fucking here for this always. Despite whether I agree that the ending makes any sense at all. At that point, I just throw that bit away. But for others, right, that are probably here for the plot, here for the lore, these endings sometimes don't really track.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

I think about it like when you eat a chicken wing, if somebody was like, you know, the plot and the rules, they're all kind of loose. Well, it's like, well, you don't eat the bone of the chicken wing. You just eat the chicken part. You know what I mean? Don't eat the bone. Don't pay attention to the plot. Don't eat the bone. Don't care about the acting.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

We also need to get to the rating of this film. Now, before we actually score it, Sean, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_05 26:58

You know, I feel like this one might be the goriest of all the final days destinations thus far. It's up there because we get some great gore that doesn't always look great, but it's awesome nonetheless. With all the blood, guts, and cranial impalements that we get, this movie is definitely getting a high gore score. I think it deserves that because there are enough moments, albeit quick, but brutal. And I think it's enough to get a high gore score.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

And what about the animal report?

SPEAKER_02 27:29

Listen, Final Destination, Death in particular, they don't love pigeons. They really, really, really don't. I believe there's a rat that also gets a beating as well, gets a little killing. So this time it wasn't just the pigeons, it was also a rat.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Well, let's go ahead and get into our ratings. Final Destination 3 from 2006. Was it a hacker slash?

SPEAKER_00 27:50

I think I'll go first. I specifically requested to be on this episode so that I can tilt the scales onto the correct side of history when I say that all Final Destination movies are good. Everyone is a slash. This is a Final Destination movie, therefore a slash. The film, the formula is so refillable, it's so rewatchable. You can do this forever and it will still be entertaining. I don't, I can't really imagine a world where they run out of possible things to do. And I do think we need to get back to like a more frequent cadence with the release of these films. I'm so glad that there's one coming out next year. As far as my personal ranking of this one inside the franchise, I would say this might be my second or third favorite. Obviously, two is the superior Final Destination film, Fight Me If You Think Otherwise. And that's my slash.

SPEAKER_05 28:34

You know, I think it's interesting. I think Final Destination III is an underrated film in this franchise. I think if you look at just overall reviews, it's a mixed bag, right? There's a lot of people that really don't like this movie. There's a lot of people that do like this movie, and I think most fans of this franchise would agree that this is an underrated film in the franchise. It doesn't have the best acting, but some of the characters still find a way to make the movie fun, even if you're just making fun of them. Some of the effects, including in the kills and the gore, are not the best visually, and that's mostly due to like some snippets of CGI because the practical effects look fucking great in this movie. The level of gore in this one was amped up enough for this to be one of the more brutal and gut-splattering sequels in the franchise. I loved the story as I did the first one, and the overall story didn't really change in essence. I enjoyed the kill scenes and especially the methods of death in this one. You really felt them. It was a popcorn eating, slap your buddy or partner on the couch next to you, kind of kill experience for a few of these kills, which I think is always really fun. Final Destination 3 is not a perfect film by any means. It has its flaws. It's not the most original film, but it was far better than it had any right to be. So while you may want to skip Death, I wouldn't skip this one because it's a slash. Beautifully said, Sean.

SPEAKER_02 30:03

I'm loving where this is going. So let me just go ahead and jump in. It's obvious that I think that this is a slash. When it comes down to it, have we seen a franchise like this ever since its debut? We haven't. We really haven't. They took a concept playing off of our natural fears and our paranoia, and then made it a comedy, and then made it a horror film, and then made it a drama, and made it a nostalgia factor, so many things. And so when we take that and then we look at each individual film and we say, okay, this is the third installment, and it's still fucking good. There are kills here that rival kills from the first film, that rival kills from the second in terms of impact that people will think about. A roller coaster being the main, you know, moment, right? The main plot of this film. Everyone is afraid of roller coasters. And I love that they took that as the main feature, the main plot, and then give us a trickle of so many other things that we second guess. Is it cheesy? Of course it is. This is not an art house film, this is not a think piece. It's I love your chicken wing analogy, Paris, because you're so right. Like you're not here for the you're not gonna eat the bone. And so it's so very much the truth in terms of Final Destination, but you're gonna have one hell of a good time. And you can sit with your friends that don't like horror films, maybe don't consume that kind of media, and watch this and have a blast, and then leave wherever you're watching, paranoid that maybe the next time you go to Orlando or theme park that you might not make it. And that's not probably good for ticket sales for them, but whatever, so be it. So it's obvious that to me I think this is a slash. I agree with Paris. All the movies are a slash, but trust me, when we get there, I'll be reiterating the same thought.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

I love the the chicken still going on this far into the ratings.

SPEAKER_02 31:53

It's a good analogy for real. You don't eat the bone. It's so good. It's really a good analogy. It's because it's true.

SPEAKER_04 31:59

Let's keep it going. You know, I think a lot of horror movies are like chicken nuggets, and there's nothing wrong with chicken nuggets. Some of them are more like drumsticks. Every now and then you need that. This whole franchise, honestly, is flats. This is like getting a 24-pack or however you quantify them, and it's all flats, and you're so excited, and the sauce is tasty, and you have a beer or two, and you're feeling good, just crushing some flats, okay? The movies are ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. Thank goodness this started back when it did. You know, back in the 2000s, these were staples, 100% pulp entertainment made for the young adult crowd. But to be honest, the whole franchise is ridiculous enough that some people might hack it, but there's something just entertaining enough here that you have to recognize that it's pretty killer. Maybe it's the nostalgia that we're all feeling. I don't know, but it doesn't feel right giving this anything less than a slash. Incredible.

SPEAKER_01 32:53

You know, really, if things were simpler, I would get away with saying that there are two types of people in the world: those who binge Final Destination and those who binge Saw as their early to mid-2000s franchises of choice. I know there are people who love both because they're here for the gore, but this is what I wish Saw could have been for me. Just hours of brutality that you can sit back and watch and really enjoy. This franchise, while you can't say grade A quality, and people are gonna think, oh, it's like the best shit ever, this is just rock solid. I encourage you to try to find a way to poke holes into this because it executes so well exactly what it's trying to do, and it manages to be fun, even though it's absolutely fucked up and horrific. For a movie to be able to impact your psyche so much that you have elevated levels of anxiety watching it in every part of the franchise, I think that is a testament to its quality. And I've really been trying to place this because I don't find this to be a spooky season film, but I think for me it's because subconsciously this belongs at high school graduation time, with the first movie and this movie occurring right before graduation or like some kind of graduation trip. So I think I'm gonna pencil this in in my calendar as an annual franchise binge, and I think that alone tells you that this movie is a slash. And with that, Final Destination 3 has earned a universal slash, but there's a lot more to discuss when we get back from our break. If you've already seen this before, what would you rate it? Please let us know. You can join that conversation for free in our Discord server. You can find the link to do so in our show notes. But if you haven't seen it yet, you can follow the other link in our show notes to see where you can watch it right now. And we return from our break, we'll dive deep into the spoiler zone territory and unpack this ridiculous body count. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

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SPEAKER_05 36:49

Wow. I know. We get a plethora of fun new creative kills to experience in this one. Everything from being cut in half to getting your head obliterated like it was a cherry tomato being smashed between two fucking fingers. But I gotta know which of Death's designs or methods were your favorites?

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Okay, I'm not gonna jump in first because I think this is one of those movies where I just want to talk about all the deaths.

SPEAKER_05 37:16

I know.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

But I cannot wait for us to unpack the tanning bed, Frankie Cheeks, but then also The Sultan with Lewis.

SPEAKER_04 37:26

Yeah. Can can I say that's my fave? Just straight out the gate. The gem one? The gem one. It's so good because they don't oftentimes go as deep as they do here with a red herring. A lot of times they'll like give you a little bit of a fake out. This one was like a full-on fake out, and then the dude took himself out, and that was brilliant, and it was just such an immediate smoosh of the brain. But what was great is that entire scene was comedy, right? That was like all a joke. Oh yeah. And with the F the Bruins. Loved it. The whole thing was just a good laugh.

SPEAKER_05 38:01

What the fuck is a Bruin anyway?

SPEAKER_01 38:03

That scene was so tense, and again, the anxiety was building in it because it was ratcheting up the tension with every pump, every yell, all of his teammates pitching in too. You see the fucking swords, and obviously, you know, Mac, you mentioned it's a fake out, but they do have a hand because they do sever the cable that keeps his head from being squished, and yet here we are.

SPEAKER_05 38:30

Yeah, it all happens for a reason.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

Ultimately, at the end of the day, toxic masculinity is what killed him, and I'm here for all that.

SPEAKER_05 38:37

Testosterone levels in that gym.

SPEAKER_02 38:40

It was just through the roof. It's a planet fitness on steroids, and it gets me every single time.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

I was detransitioning watching that scene.

SPEAKER_05 38:52

Oh my god, I'm dead.

SPEAKER_02 38:54

But of course, the other extremely famous one, which forgive me that we're just gonna jump right into it because I have to. It's the tanning bed scene. We must. The tanning bed scene is one of the most famous scenes in the entire franchise for several fucking reasons. One of them being fuck a tanning bed at that point. Never have you I personally would never go to a tanning bed after seeing all that, especially with the entire scene showing you of all the things that needed to have happened in order for that to get fucked. It's insane.

SPEAKER_05 39:29

Does anyone go to a tanning bed without thinking about this movie anymore?

SPEAKER_00 39:34

No, it's impossible. If you've seen it and you've been in a tanning bed since, it's all you're thinking about the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 39:40

But seriously, we talked about this death scene in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. And honestly, move over, I still know what you did last summer because this is how you get trapped in a tanning bed.

SPEAKER_05 39:53

It's also one of the most absurd ways to die. Like the amount of shit that had to go down for this to happen, including this fucking shelf two by four falling somehow perfectly to lock both of these fucking tanning beds together, is fucking crazy, but it's not as absurd as the fact that these two fucking girls did not figure to try to move this piece of wood.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

Yeah, you know, they're so hot and they're cooking. They were cooking. Yeah, bubbling and boil.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

Pretty tough. And also, let's give them a slight bit of a benefit of the doubt where even if they were to push a little bit of the wood, I don't know if it would have been long enough to remove itself from the latch entirely. I also want to say that this is also just one of the best cinematic shots of all time, right? Like the the fact that they're both, from an aerial perspective, in the tanning beds, screaming on fire, and then the next shot immediately after is their graves. Absolutely incredible. Perfect.

SPEAKER_00 40:49

An incredible transition.

SPEAKER_01 40:50

I absolutely love it. But I also then love the following death, which is your fucking boy, Frankie Cheeks, who you don't realize is Frankie Cheeks, that entire scene because you assume that Wendy is next.

SPEAKER_05 41:06

This was like literally one of the most brutal kills in the movie.

SPEAKER_01 41:10

It really was. Man, to think about how helpless you must feel. And really, Death was putting in overtime to pin their car in to get them fucking pinned on both sides with two assholes who are not trying to fucking move their cars. Having such a hill, it reminded me of like the streets of San Francisco and just the momentum that has to carry when a car gets away from you. Fucking terrifying.

SPEAKER_05 41:37

Yeah. Thankfully, they got out of the windshield, but having that fan just break through your skull and rip through your fucking brains and just obliterate you, like that's insane. And just the aftermath shot was gnarly to look at.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

The aftermath was terrible, and then the fan or really his head just fucking coming back for that one last little jump scare.

SPEAKER_05 42:01

Yeah, I forgot about that part.

SPEAKER_02 42:03

It's funny that you bring up San Francisco because I actually was just there not too long ago, and I also thought of this kill when I was there, thinking of those hills, because it's that impression of losing control of a car. What if it runs into the drive-thru? And I understand that this particular kill is maybe one of the least likely to occur. Well, I know that all of them are, but you know what I'm trying to mean, right? Like, especially being from Miami, it's not like we have hills where this is probably gonna happen in this particular way, but it's just very jarring. Aside from the fact that Frankie Cheeks is so fucking obnoxious, he's such an obnoxious character.

SPEAKER_05 42:41

Move over, Rice Aroney. This is the real San Francisco treat.

SPEAKER_00 42:46

Frankie Cheeks.

SPEAKER_05 42:47

Frankie Cheeks on a patty.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

He's just so gross, and he was like licking his necklace throughout the film, too. It was just the weirdest thing.

SPEAKER_00 42:55

He was a dirty little pervert.

SPEAKER_05 42:57

I I do think Aaron's death was also pretty wild. Just the whole nail gun to the back of the head and the amount of like Oh my god, that's such a good one. Right? Just seeing the nail gun just go off pop, pop, up, and just seeing the nails poke through the other side of her face, like, oh, that was that was wild.

SPEAKER_00 43:16

Through her face and then through her arm.

SPEAKER_01 43:19

It was so dramatic and such a great representation of the pose she had in the picture. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_02 43:26

Again, death being a silly girl, because she's obviously a rocker girl, you know, the aesthetic, and then she gets hit by a nail gun, and I'm thinking like nine-inch nails, you know, like that's her usual jam. Love it.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

Oh wow, we're different. You thought nine inch nails, which makes sense. I thought nailed it. Terrible. I acknowledge that.

SPEAKER_05 43:47

Oh my god. Okay, but can anyone tell me why Perry's death was literally just the ripoff of the omen? It was it not?

SPEAKER_02 43:56

With the flagpole. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 43:58

The one that got flagged. Pulled impaled into the ground, it was the exact same kill. The exact same shot, exact same kill.

SPEAKER_04 44:06

Well, if it ain't broke.

SPEAKER_05 44:07

I guess that's true. Let's see it. We like a good impalement.

SPEAKER_04 44:11

While we're talking about the fair though, Ian getting taken out in such a lame way. I mean, it was cognitive, it was cool. Like we get smooshed, we get crushed. That's that's great. But I feel like it wasn't explosive enough for Ian, you know?

SPEAKER_01 44:23

I don't know, man. I really loved his death. He gets squished after talking all that shit, and then he's just severed in half with his limp little fucking middle finger still trying to say something to the world. Fuck you, dude.

SPEAKER_00 44:36

He was delivering a Faruzia bulk monologue and then died.

SPEAKER_01 44:40

Yeah. No.

SPEAKER_04 44:42

Maybe it's because I expect pink mist, you know, for many characters. That's how obliterated I want them.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

Honestly, though, so he's kind of like the girl that we get in the first movie who's talking all that shit and walks backwards into traffic and gets hit by a bus. Pretty good. He's talking all this shit, then gets the kill that you get at the end of Final Destination where the guy gets fucking taken out by a sign. I mean, listen, the guy had to go.

SPEAKER_00 45:06

One of the rules is if you talk shit, it bumps you up on the list. And that's true in every installment.

SPEAKER_05 45:13

There it is.

SPEAKER_04 45:13

It's true. Death is petty enough. Death does not like other petty people.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

This is fact. This is certified.

SPEAKER_04 45:20

Crazy. I do like the meat grinder at the end with the train. Like getting smushed up between a train and a wall. Yeah. That was hardcore. That sucked.

SPEAKER_05 45:30

That must yeah, that just does not feel good. I'm sure there was so much just like getting annihilated by something in this movie. Like completely just like you're either ripped in half, your head is smashed into little bitty pieces, your body's just fucking destroyed. Like there was some gnarly shit in this movie. It was wild.

SPEAKER_02 45:48

A train wheel just like coming right at you. It's just relentless.

SPEAKER_01 45:53

Mm-hmm. And again, for all of you out there who have seen Invincible, that train scene, fucking horrific. And I also really love the fact that we have the same clues or Easter eggs for Death's design still hold true at the end of the movie. For example, with Kevin, his photo was his face kind of being overexplosed and blown up.

SPEAKER_05 46:17

Right.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

And then you have that light flickering when he's smashed against the subway's glass, and then he's eventually fucking ripped out of the subway and just completely demolished. It shows that Death's Design had all this planned all along. And it felt to me in that moment like we see the upgrade. Because let's take Alex, for example, from the first film, he doesn't die the way he does in the plane. He's written off screen as in a fucking brick randomly falls and hits his head. But this one felt like, okay, now that I've been through two movies of these motherfuckers trying to get out of what uh what what they owe me, now I'm just gonna make the long play. I'm gonna make a long con with a lot of dominoes that will fall, and these pictures, they may think it's one thing, but it's gonna be actually here all the way at the fucking end of the movie.

SPEAKER_04 47:09

Yeah, it was genius. And it's almost like you trying to stop this is going to cause them anyway. So in reality, you're helping me.

SPEAKER_00 47:17

It's like an episode of That's So Raven. You try to save the situation, then you end up misbehaving.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

Yeah, it honestly begs a few different questions here. One, Mary Elizabeth Winston seems convinced that Wendy is either not dead or is just open to interpretation. In my heart of hearts, I'd like to think that she somehow made it off that train. Part two, Frankie Cheeks is not on the roller coaster. His video camera does not fall. His video camera does not wrap around the rails or the tracks and cannot thereby assist in the derailing of the tracks on the roller coaster. The fuck is up with that?

SPEAKER_00 47:55

That is called a plot hole, and it is gaping in this film. But again, I say just don't eat the bone. There we go. There it is.

SPEAKER_05 48:06

Yeah, don't eat the bone. Or you know, it really just comes down to the fact that it doesn't matter what you take out of this, death finds its way. So it at the end of the day, it'll just course correct.

SPEAKER_00 48:17

I do also feel like a lot of death's work is improv. She feels like an improv girl.

SPEAKER_05 48:22

Definitely.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

She's talented, she's resourceful.

SPEAKER_05 48:26

I think so. I think my favorite part of this movie, though, aside from the kills and the practical effects that went into some of these shots, because I always feel like I pick this the you know the practical effects when they're prevalent in movies. But aside from that, I really just loved the ambiance of this movie. And I know a lot goes into developing the ambiance of a film, right? But from the way James Wong shot this movie to the score, this movie had a cool sense of dread to it that I really just vibed with while watching.

SPEAKER_04 48:58

I like that. It's interesting. This film has a lot of things that happened in the early to late 2000s that I absolutely despise in almost every other film, but for some reason here they work. The death scenes are like a perfect example of that. We get 10,000 cuts per death scene, right? But for some reason, it helps like effectively deliver the sense of chaos. And you're watching it, it's amping up the pressure and amping up the stress and the tension. Any other film, you're like, goodness, get it done in one take in one shot, just make it nice and smooth. But here, the fact that we're getting a shot of something up close, and then we cut to a shot of something else from far away, whatever, it's just so rapid, it just makes your heartbeat a little bit faster, which is a fact of even the fact that we flash forward here and not necessarily flash back, it works. It just works smoothly.

SPEAKER_01 49:49

Honestly, I think the cinematography in this movie got an upgrade all around. And Binks, you mentioned it even in the the death of the girls in the tanning bed. To have an aerial shot cut and overhead from screaming in a casket to still about to be buried under the ground, honestly, it's comedic gold, but it's such great symmetry, and I can really, really appreciate that. But I'm also gonna point out this is just maybe the you know th mid-30s year old fucking individual at this point in me. The digital camera photos and how fucking terrible they look, but how great they look at the same time, because we all suffered through terrible quality photos in the early 2000s, but to see it so come together so well in this happenstance, we have blurred faces, we have the girls in the fucking lens flare, you know, did to allude to their death in the tanning bed. I really loved this as the harbinger of doom.

SPEAKER_04 50:49

Good old one megapixel photo.

SPEAKER_01 50:51

Yeah. I mean, also though, could you imagine if she had taken those photos on a Motorola razor? I remember my My Space Profile picture for the longest time was taken on a Motorola razor and it overexposed the shit out of me and it looked really fucking cool.

SPEAKER_02 51:03

But this is why I was saying earlier that I love that this film is a good example of nostalgia and a time capsule because digital cameras are super in right now. They're uh everyone is using a digital camera when they go out to the club or whatever with their friends, they're using a digital camera just as much as they're using film cameras, you know. And so to me, I watch this film and I see that they're using a digital camera to tell the future, and I'm like, that would be no different than right now, present day in 2024.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

I love what you're both saying about the usage of the digital cameras as a medium here.

SPEAKER_01 51:41

So you're saying that the digital cameras would be age appropriate in final destination bloodlines.

SPEAKER_02 51:47

Unless they're using like TikTok, I don't know, TikToks to tell a premonition or something else, which God Your For You page is predicting how you're gonna die.

SPEAKER_05 51:57

Oh my god. Your algorithm. There you go.

SPEAKER_00 52:01

And built this for you page brick by brick. The seemingly random videos you come across.

SPEAKER_04 52:06

I like how 25 years apart, and it's suddenly once again cool to have Nokia's and separate digital cameras and iPod classics and all sorts of other cool things when we have been operating with one device for the last 20 years.

SPEAKER_00 52:21

I have to point out that one thing I really love is when a movie has like a song as like a character in the movie. They do this in your next. There's like a specific song that plays repeatedly and it like becomes its own bit. And they did the same thing with the song that's like there's someone walking behind you. That is just a scary song, and that real song has completely been ruined by this movie. Like you'll never hear that song and not be so spooked out once you've seen this. And I love that.

SPEAKER_01 52:45

Yeah, give me Lana Del Rey singing that fucking song.

SPEAKER_00 52:49

Ooh.

SPEAKER_01 52:51

Nightmare fuel.

SPEAKER_02 52:52

No, but it is true in terms of even the songs, which again it goes back to this film is all of the genres down to even a little bit of the spookiness with that little tune. Which ultimately at the end of the day, I gotta be real, I don't have a favorite scene because I love it all. But if I were to maybe pick one, it's gonna be cheating and it's gonna be all of the moments where it integrates that song. Or any moment where we get to build up the tension. It's not the kills themselves, it's the little moments and the fake outs because that's where we live in in the day-to-day, right? That's the paranoia when you almost, you know, got hurt, or maybe for me, I go up the stairs and I might have tripped and I'm like, oh fuck, I almost fell down these stairs and it would have been the end of me. I think of those moments, and that's what resonates with me. And Final Destination not only integrates the craziest ways that you could die, but it integrates all of the things that could have led you to die that you don't think about as well.

SPEAKER_01 53:53

See, this is exactly why I love the scene that is basically Death's trophy case, and that's the subway. Because Wendy walks on and she sees signs everywhere. Before we even get to the music, there are advertisements and signs directly connected to people's deaths. And then famously the sign you can't escape death and taxes. I fucking love that scene so much because again, the anti-saw parallel at the end of every fucking saw movie is a long, exhausting flashback of yep, this is what you missed the whole time, except you totally fucking saw it the whole time. And this was like, if you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. That's what it felt like. It felt like that's so wild.

SPEAKER_05 54:41

Willy Bonka. That's so wild.

SPEAKER_01 54:44

Yeah, let's walk into the trophy room and see little Easter eggs and touches of how everyone else went down while you realize that I was always coming for you, bitch.

SPEAKER_05 54:57

Oh my god, it's so good. That part definitely had a lot of little visuals and Easter eggs, but this movie really just had a ton of just references to Flight 180, and it was just everywhere sprinkled throughout the film, which I thought was really fun. My favorite scene in this movie definitely is just the entire opening sequence of scenes, like the strange vibes Wendy is getting at the amusement park, the foreshadowing of her death or demise, it's all leading up to the roller coaster accident. And you know it's coming because you've seen like the first one, right? It's all gonna be end up coming back as like a premonition or like a little vision that she might have had, but you just love to see it. The cast members, I think, for this scene on this roller coaster had to ride it like 26 fucking times on the same night in order to shoot the film's main premonition scene. So just imagine what these people went through on this ride to make this happen, but it was so good. Just the visuals, the vibe, the music, the way they shot it, it was just fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 56:00

It was horrowing, but also can't you have a little side note? Bold them to use 9-11.

SPEAKER_05 56:07

Very bold indeed, for sure. I saw that and I was like, oh.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

You had me with Abe Lincoln, but you did not have me with a 9-11. Also, shadows get cast on buildings all the time, folks. Come on, what are you you're really reaching here?

SPEAKER_05 56:21

Absurd to throw in Abraham Lincoln, bold to throw in the towers.

SPEAKER_01 56:26

Yeah, it's too soon. Never forget.

SPEAKER_05 56:29

Well, really soon, like five years soon.

SPEAKER_04 56:31

I think back then the conspiracy theories were just kicking off. Yeah. We'd only had five years of them. Well, Death's plan seems like the most practical, so I want to talk about my favorite scene because, like you said, Binks, there's a lot to choose from here. It's hard to actually pick something. So I gravitated towards the moments of comedy, and I think when the Ashleys speak, it's comedy almost every single time. Gold. Absolute gold. But when they were talking about like the things that they're doing that are just good, you know, like, oh, we're doing this because of the kids or for the kids who died who couldn't be here. Each one of those moments was absolutely iconic, and it's kind of a bummer that we can't get more of the Ashleys after this. Just the girls you want to hate, but for some reason they entertain you.

SPEAKER_05 57:16

Yeah. It's so true. It was pure gold, the two of them, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 57:20

Best scene of the film by far, from beginning to end. Just incredible, delightful.

SPEAKER_01 57:26

Paris, it reminded me of something you used to often say on the podcast, and it was just giving straight up dumb bitchery.

SPEAKER_04 57:33

Dumbitery, it's debauchery. This is the first time we've had full or partial nudity in these movies, though. Oh, is it?

SPEAKER_05 57:40

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 57:40

I don't know that it was necessary, but I think it fits for the characters.

SPEAKER_05 57:44

I know the director felt like it needed to add some kind of realism in the tanning bed situation of it all. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 57:51

But it also just, I mean, it was I would hate to say tasteful, but it was motivated. Yeah. It wasn't someone just stripping down a strip down.

SPEAKER_05 58:00

Yeah, it wasn't distasteful, you know what I mean? And from what I read about the production of the movie is that they really tried to accommodate for sure. Like they black curtained like the entire set, only the director and like one other person was allowed in there. Like it, yeah, it was like very like for them to make them feel comfortable, which is good.

SPEAKER_04 58:19

There were a lot of other, I feel like just well-developed characters here. You know, Sean, you mentioned the beginning of the movie, the opening scene. I think if you look back to the two previous films, they do a lot of work in those openers to kind of set the stage for who's going to be in the film and who they are as characters and what their dynamics are between each other. And this is no exception. I haven't re-watched part four or when I haven't even seen part five yet, so I'm not sure if that continues or not. But I think it's it's just so effective. And the opening scenes are kind of long, if you think about it. There's a lot that goes into them, but right from the get-go, you just get a good feel for who's who's involved in the story. What kind of people are they? Who do I actually like and who do I already dislike?

SPEAKER_01 59:00

Yeah, that's a really great point. But it also does something, well, at least I think it tries to do this. Kevin starts off looking like every bit a douchebag. And I imagine losing your girlfriend and your best friend would really put a damper on all of that. Obviously, you might go through things you might change. I was here for the maybe subtle realization that he's not as much of an idiot as he's painted out to be in the beginning with the things that he quotes. But did we need the romantic tension between them?

SPEAKER_02 59:31

Thank you. Let's get into it. Because here's where I say, okay, there's a little bit of romance in these films that sometimes just does not make sense. This is culprit number one because, buddy, you were about to propose to this girl's best friend, your girlfriend. Her boyfriend died, your best friend, you know what I mean? Like this is a uh that kind of little situation going on. Why why was there tension there? Why was there romantic tension not necessary?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:01

Do you guys want to hear the craziest reason those two actors were dating? They dated their chemistry, which is so bad on film, encouraged them to take the relationship further after production. They dated for a while after this movie.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:15

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:17

Isn't that shocking? Because I was like, there's nothing there.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:20

That's hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:21

Well, she ended up with Obi-Wan, so all is made well in the end.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:24

Yeah, I was gonna say, and then who she ended up marrying is that's crazy. She went from a decom star to one of the most famous actors of all time.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:33

Ewan McGregor.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:34

Yeah, and that's why she's incredible. That's a little disturbing, though, in reality, because on paper, boy, it just does not translate. It doesn't make a single bit of sense. Now I will say, Julie, on the other hand, like as a sister, is just about the most annoying bitch I have seen on film in a while. Like I can't stand that girl. And granted, I you know, how often do we see this? You know, like that sister dynamic most certain it makes sense, right? But to cause such a fight over a bracelet, please. Exit stage, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:11

Realistic?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:12

I know. And maybe it's because I have an older brother, I don't have sisters, so maybe that's the other part to it too.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:18

But my sisters never fought, but I do know that to be very true and realistic of sisters.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:24

Sounds dreadful.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:26

Yeah, I think the sister dynamic or the chemistry between the actors playing the sisters was one of the more realistic acting that we had in this movie because I think overall the acting in this movie just isn't great. And I don't think it needs to be, so I'm not trying to really bash on the movie for that. But I don't think if you're going into this movie that you should expect to have some like really great acting happening because there are some lines that are said that aren't even fully believable the way that they're saying them. But I do think at the same time the characters are relatable, they do a good job at making a lot of these characters relatable. You might you might not relate to them as like this is you, but you may relate to them in the way that like I know somebody that was like that when I went to high school or something like that. And I think of like just some of the dumb stuff that happens. I think there's that scene in the Home Depot looking place that they're walking through when Ian is like flickering the lights at the end of the hallway. I mean, that's some dumb shit that I would have done in a Home Depot if I had the chance to do that with a group of friends, you know what I mean? So I think it has that going for him. But overall, acting is not super great, but the characters are super relatable.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:33

Ian is definitely one of those characters. Everyone knows that cynic, you know, emo boy who's a pain in the ass from high school. Everyone knows the one.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:43

Okay, so as far as characters go, can we talk about our main bitch? As far as acting goes, she's one of the worst perpetrators, in my opinion. She's supposed to be our final girl who takes over the incredible role of Clear Rivers from the first two films, and she is no clear rivers. She is a huge downgrade as far as like performance. Do I care if she lives or dies? No. And she didn't, sorry, spoiler, didn't live. And I'm fine with that. Do you know what I mean? It wasn't somebody where I was like, oh, Clear's back. It was like, oh, where's Clear? And like, who are you? Because you're not carrying the movie. I felt like that character was so wooden and so flat. Her entire thing was like, I'm a control freak. Uh, I just want to control everything. Uh and I was like, that's not a personality. That's just one thing.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:23

Here's my philosophy on her, though. She's like a Virgo gone wrong, you know? Like she's the typical type A profile that just seems like you continue to give us a bad rap. I will say, however, that I do appreciate that this film takes the main character and flips it into someone who actually doesn't believe what's going on and has to be convinced initially of the pattern of death. And it's really Kevin that's trying to convince her versus the main character trying to convince everybody else. Like there's a bit of that eventually, right? But right from the start, she doesn't want to believe that this is going on, which I can give the film credit for and I appreciate. But it is also ironic that the most famous actor in this film is her and her performances, just like Mac was saying earlier, right? Like it's just not outstanding.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:14

You know, I wasn't even the least bit bothered by her. I thought she was just fine.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:20

Agreed.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:20

That's the majority of the people in the film. They're just fine. It's, you know, they're getting the job done.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:25

But for those, you know, Binx, I know you mentioned Tony Todd earlier in the episode, but for those maybe watching this movie and trying to figure out where you can see Tony Todd, you're probably not gonna see Tony Todd because Tony Todd is in this movie, but he plays the voice of the devil at the entrance of the roller coaster for Devil's Flight. And he's also, I think he also does the voice for like the uh announcement at in the subway at the end of the film, like this is the end of the line or whatever. For sure. So he's still there.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:55

He really pulled a Jamie Lee Curtis and Halloween 3 season of The Witch, where technically Lori Stroll's not in that movie, but Jamie Lee Curtis did supply her voice for an announcement in the town.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:07

There's also a lot of references to presidential assassinations in this film for some reason. You get the Abraham Lincoln one, right, with the photo and like the line going through his head or whatever, and that's cool. But we also get the name McKinley, which is obviously a character, it's the name of the high school. That references William McKinley, who was assassinated, and then you have the subway stations, Booth and Oswald. The map in the subway shows Ruby Drive 63rd, I think, in Heidel stations. Oswald used the name Alec J. Heidel, and Heidel was killed by Jack Ruby. So, like, there's all these crazy presidential assassination connections that they're throwing in there, which I thought was super fun.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:48

Let me tell you what I didn't love though. That motherfucker McKinley. Ian McKinley can just go on now, get. I know, Bings. You referenced, we all know the cynical email. Emo sad boy, but also fuck that emo sad boy. He wasn't even the least bit entertaining. There are moments when, you know, he tries to give some layers of depth, and he's, you know, really lamenting the death of these innocent women who've done nothing to anyone, and now they're gone, they don't even make it to 18. He's like, Yeah, sure, that's a statement that we can all get behind, but fuck you, you're just so obnoxious while you say it.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:26

It's not that you're wrong, it's that you're a douche.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:29

He looks like he smelled bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:30

Oh yeah. 100%. The smell of cigarettes and sweat.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:34

And it was his incompetence that caused her death. Behind every woman is a man plotting to kill her subconsciously accidentally through his own incompetence. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:42

I feel like the rules in this movie left me confused. And I feel like they almost break their own rules in this one. I don't know. Maybe I just wasn't able to follow along the right way, and this could be totally just a me thing, by the way, but it's the whole McKinley situation that did it for me. Because, like, was it that because they escaped the fireworks thing that Death had put into motion that allowed Wendy to be skipped? I don't know. But then McKinley was supposed to kill Wendy as part of Death's Mischievous Plan, which was terrific, by the way. I'll give it up for that. I love that. The use of McKinley and Death's Plan. But I don't know. So did killing McKinley save Wendy because now it felt like Death killed McKinley instead. I think, I don't know. I think it's just me, probably because this chain of killing got too jumbled for me.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:29

Okay, here's what I propose we do: Patreon bonus content. We whoop out a freeform board, we get thumbnails of all the characters, we go by their original death, and we map this shit out. Let's figure it out.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:40

Let's map it out. We need the help of the listeners.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:43

So, do you prefer the rule breaking in this film or the rule breaking in Final Destination 2? Yeah. Because it seems like if you make rules, you're just gonna break them.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:52

The rules are meant to be broken. I just had a hard time following this one, where I don't feel like I had a hard time following in Final Destination 2.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:00

See, I interpreted it a different way. Okay. I think about the rules and the rule breaking as completely moot points.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:07

Hmm.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:07

The only rule is that everyone's gonna die. Okay, that's like the end all be all, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:12

Yeah, because remember, Death's design proves that she was supposed to die on the subway all along. She died on the tracks in the premonition, she dies on the tracks in the subway.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:22

Okay, true.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:23

Kevin gets his face overexposed. It wasn't because of the fireworks that were going off in his face and just lit up, it's because of the flashing light and his face being pressed against the glass in the subway.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:34

This is true.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:35

So really no rules were broken, period.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:38

In the end, death comes out clean.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:40

I feel like ultimately this ending just proves that death and its little time jump thing, it's just death being silly, and you don't actually know the rules to a science when death will just decide regardless. So that's what the endings of all these films has just resonated with me. When I question the design the death design, I'm just like, it doesn't really matter. Because death some way, somehow will just come up. So yeah, I don't know if necessarily the worst part for me is the flaws in the logic, because in some ways the whole point is that you just never know when your time's gonna come to an extent, even despite the premonitions, no matter how much you can try to control it, it's just not gonna happen for you. The worst part might very well just be Frankie Cheeks, maybe. If it's not Ian, it's definitely Frankie Cheeks.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:31

Oh, yeah. You know what? The fucking one-two combo there. It's Ian with a side of cheeks for the fucking worst part of this film.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:39

Yeah. I don't know. I don't think the logic was actually the worst part for me. I think the worst part for me really is just that we had to see McKinley kill a fucking pigeon with a nail gun. I think that was like literally the worst part. I didn't want to see it, didn't need to see it, didn't need to be in the movie. It made no sense to happen that way, and I didn't want to see it. Did that pigeon really die? I mean, I'm sure no real pigeons died in the making of this movie. Hopefully not, but still, I didn't want to see it.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:04

Well, it's because he's an asshole. It's like how you find out, like, oh, he's an asshole. Yeah. He's like Sid from Toy Story. He like uses a magnifying glass to burn ants.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:15

Yes, yes. Yeah, he's that kind of kid. Damn. I also wish they were able to pull off their original ending because I know that they wanted to do this whole ending where they still have like the train at the end, but they were able to bring Kimberly and Officer Burke from Final Destination II on the train at the end, but and they were going to like die to really tie the whole thing into Final Destination II, but they were only able to get one of the two actors on board due to scheduling complications, so they figured like if we can't go all in, we're just not gonna do it. So they squashed the whole thing, which kind of sucks.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:51

Boo. Coming up next in Final Destination bloodlines.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:55

That's such a shame, and also a daring move because what they're trying to say by doing that is that even with the whole plot of two being that if you just kill new life, right? Or whatever, you just kind of like an eye for an eye type thing, whatever they were trying to do there.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:11

Deliver this baby, and maybe we'll see.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:14

And then I'll decide like bring life in to yeah, yeah, that whole bit. For sure. No, it would have added an interesting dynamic to the film for sure, but it didn't happen. It is what it is. We'll see what we get in bloodlines. Best part of this movie though, because none of us are gonna get the chance to say it. Japan named this movie Final Dead Coaster. That's great. Great, right? Best part for me. Final Dead Coaster. I'd watch it.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:38

It doesn't really roll off the tongue, though.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:40

No, but that's what makes it so great, you know?

SPEAKER_01 1:11:42

I'm sure it sounds excellent in Japanese.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:44

We're gonna go watch Final Dead Coaster.

SPEAKER_04 1:11:46

Remember when these movies were new and in theater or freshly available on DVD, and I would always joke at the time, how can they call it Final Destination 2, 3, 4, 5? Like, how can they all be the final destination? There's gotta be only one final destination if it's truly final.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:04

And yet we keep finding new ones. It's remarkable.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:07

We're all on our own path, meeting our ends. We're always going somewhere until we're going nowhere.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:14

This was their final destination. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:17

I will say, however, that I am glad we didn't get any bricks to the head to try to wrap up loose ends from the previous film. That's a good thing because that seemed like a really silly thing to write off, you know, in a sequel. Uh a brick fell and took him out. What? There's a lot of things you could probably crap on about this movie, right? Like the acting we've already talked about. You could give that a hard time. The fact that we harm pigeons here is unnecessary. You got it right, Sean. Completely unnecessary. I'm gonna go ahead and throw it back out there that there was no need for nudity in this film. Uh, I don't know that it would have affected ratings or anything like that, you know, in terms of PG 13 or R, who cares? It just kind of takes you out. And the reason I can say that is I just watched two of the films leading up to it, and it it did kind of seem like a different tone when we got to that scene for me.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:05

I feel like those girls have those boobs and they would be out.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:09

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:10

That I got more into it. I was like, yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:12

Well, listen, I can tell you one thing. It's not gonna be the main reason I rewatch this movie, but it's certainly not gonna stop me from it because this movie has such a high rewatchability factor. And it's really been a minute since I've watched the entire franchise. Obviously, I bought the collection within the last year or so, but I can't wait to go back and really appreciate all the sequencing of deaths. There's uh you know a later movie in this franchise that really goes out with a bang and ties things up very nicely, and I can't wait to see what comes next when we review them.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:50

Yeah, you know, I never thought I'd rewatch this, let alone binge three of them back to back, but it's got me wishing I had started earlier so I could have made it to the scene in part four. So, you know, anything's possible in terms of a rewatch.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:03

Yeah, I think this film, amongst others in the franchise, are rewatchable for sure. I also realized that I sit here and say this while not having watched a single Final Destination in years. But they do have rewatch value, they can be fun, they are something you can put on and just have a good time with. So I definitely think this one is re-watchable. It's worth a watch if you haven't seen it. I think it's probably far more fun than you remember it being if you haven't seen it in a long time. That's what I got out of it. I definitely would revisit this in a franchise binge.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:38

I think this is such a valid sentiment to be sharing here that it is never too late to come back into the Final Destination franchise. There is something here for everybody, it is very rewatchable, and it's honestly fun for the whole family. Like make a chowder, watch Final Destination. It's like a little rainy out, and just like live your best life. I'm gonna watch this movie again and again.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:57

You said when it's rainy out, and that was the exact setting in which we watched this marathon. It was raining outside. We got ourselves a little it, you know, we went to an alehouse, so we got that ordered in, you know, had some fries, some chicken tendies, a whole bit, and treat yourself to a good time and grab your friends that don't even watch horror films, you know, and and invite them over and just experience this because I know that I certainly will. This is a franchise that I will watch constantly, and when I do, I usually watch all five as much as I can. So I would definitely recommend.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:32

All senior citizens should watch Final Destination.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:36

Well, obviously we have plans to keep this franchise going, but for now, there you have it, folks. Final Destination 3 from 2006 has earned a universal slash. We've certainly had a robust discussion, but it doesn't end here by any means.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:50

Yeah, if you want to find out how you can go further than this episode, consider supporting the show by subscribing through Apple Podcasts or visiting patreon.com slash hackerslash where you can enjoy even more of the show, including bonus content with early access, extended episodes with our B-sides for the spooky season, movie nominations, and live shows.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:11

Love how we got you paranoid about roller coasters, tanning beds, and even eating chicken wings? Leave us a five-star review wherever you get your podcasts. This helps us continue to deliver great content for all you horror fiends out there.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:23

We'll see you next time, folks, and remember, willful ignorance is surrendering control.

SPEAKER_05 1:16:28

Fuck you, Ben Franklin.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:40

Okay, so it it is wild to me that we last touched this franchise in 2020. And it was myself, Paris, Ryan, and Alexis, no Mac.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:52

No Mac.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:54

No Mac.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:55

A real shame.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:56

And when we last touched this franchise, we were watching the movie that traumatized Americans everywhere from log trucks.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:05

Still to this day.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:06

Still to this day.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:08

I will not drive behind a truck with logs on it, still to this day.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:12

No one will.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:12

Can I tell you guys that I have a top 100 horror films poster in my living room and Final Destination is on there, but when you scratch it off, the image is the car with the logs. It's not even Final Destination, it's Final Destination 2.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:29

Oh my god, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:30

That's uh that's awesome. That's how popular it is.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:33

So it's referencing the first Final Destination movie, but it's the log truck from the sequel?

SPEAKER_02 1:17:38

Dead ass. I'm serious. You scratch it and that's a really good Halloween costume.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:43

Perfection. Okay, so the sequel traumatized everyone about fucking log trucks, but I think this one validates fears of roller coasters.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:54

Definitely.

SPEAKER_04 1:17:54

Yeah. I mean, if you don't have a subtle fear of roller coasters, one, I'm shocked, but two, let me tell you some just a couple stories that I have personally. One is I was maybe 16, 15, something like that. I'm in Disneyland, Paris. They have a roller coaster. It's an Indiana Jones ride, I believe. I'm not really into roller coasters, not a huge fan, waiting in line. And we look up and there's empty cars, but cars stuck on the wrong side of the loop. Like they're at the top of the loop, just stuck there. And it was like, nope, no wonder there's a line. We're not doing this ride. We pieced out. So that's that's story number one. A couple years further back, have you ever been on those roller coasters they set up for like a local fair or something?

SPEAKER_05 1:18:38

Yeah, super janky. Those rickety ass.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:41

And there was definitely a turn where you had to duck your head. Did they tell you at least? No, no, they did not. And it wasn't like let everyone know they have to duck their head, it was like an like an oversight in planning or something.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:53

Oh my god, like it was just too close when they set it up that day, that morning.

SPEAKER_04 1:18:57

Yes, and if you were anything over like five five, you were like, ooh, okay, that was dangerous. Decapitation station. Right. Like if you're six five, you're you're screwed on that. You're done.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:09

You want to lose an ugly 10 pounds fast.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:12

They're just like, hey Jimmy, does this look good? You're like, yeah, they'll just have to duck their heads around that corner, but we should be good. Let's get it going. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:20

There was a time we were at like a strawberry festival type thing, like you were saying, Mac, and literally they were on, we were about to get on this ride called the zipper that just like flings you in little baskets around in a circle. The zipper. And then this large metal piece fell off of it, like right in front of the attendant and us, and we were like, Oh, what? And she just kicked it to the side and was like, It's fine. And we literally got out of line and we left.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:42

It's not fine, it's never fine.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:44

I was like, that was a huge metal piece, ma'am. I'm so sorry. We can't pretend that didn't just happen.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:50

No, that's a spare part right there.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:52

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_04 1:19:53

Absolutely terrible.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:55

I grew up with a fear of roller coasters, probably because my first experience with a roller coaster was roller coaster tycoon. And you betcha, I was killing everybody on those things. It was like the fucked up version of The Sims, you know? In the Sims, you kill everybody by trapping them in a room or you put them in a pool and delete the ladder. And roller coaster tycoon, you do you leave the job half done, and then boom.

SPEAKER_05 1:20:21

Yeah, who doesn't let the shit roll off the tracks and see if it can go across the park or whatever?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:26

Send them flying.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:28

See, I just played Grand Theft Auto like all the rest of us, you know. I didn't have to find ways in nice games of killing people. I just ran around running people over.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:36

But Roller Cross Do they still is that still like a thing that you can do and just like I don't know. Fuck up all your I'm gonna look this up. You can buy it. Probably. You can still buy it, but do they probably have safeguards now? That's the question.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:52

I don't know. There was one I think they came out with one last year.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:55

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_04 1:20:57

I'm sure you still can.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:59

Can you still have a murder roller coaster tycoon?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:06

Oh yeah, I do remember that. Murder coaster.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:09

If they don't have it integrated into the latest films, then they're just a sellout. Okay. Like it's a vital piece of a gaming experience to send someone fucking launched.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:19

Yeah. That's how we learned. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:22

You remember Zoo Tycoon?

SPEAKER_05 1:21:24

No, I never played that.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:25

It's like roller coaster tycoon, but for zoos.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:27

Or you make the you make the zoo. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:30

It was fucking great. Anywho.

SPEAKER_00 1:21:32

I was never much of a tycoon, but Chris, do you remember the last time we were on a roller coaster at Halloween Horror Nights?

SPEAKER_01 1:21:38

Yes, I absolutely do. And I remember because I hadn't been on a roller coaster in so long. And it's, was it the it's called the Rock and Roller Coaster?

SPEAKER_00 1:21:47

It was the one where you like pick a Fergie song to listen to while you go on the ride. You pick a song. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 1:21:52

Motherfucker, why did I choose a song knowing, oh yeah, I love this song. It's so great. Bitch, I picked I will survive.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:00

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:01

I was like, how erratic would it be if I did not survive? I'm tempting fate.

SPEAKER_03 1:22:06

That's great.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:07

The song choices on that ride are absurd because you could be listening to some like I was gonna say honky donk country song, but in reality, yeah. I mean you're listening to that while you're going crazy super fast. But yet I say that knowing full well that I use a secret menu. So there's secret songs that you can choose from. There's a way to press What is this? A Starbucks? Oh, it certainly is. What is this? A Wendy's? You have to press a certain button, you know, on the screen before you start to go up that will then open up a whole other menu of songs. So they have like a My Chemical Romance song on there. I listened to a Breaking Benjamin song because my emo ass, of course, has to. But there's like a whole other long list of songs that you can choose from that are much better fits for the vibe. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:54

Okay. So, Sean, remember this. We need to get the cheat codes from Binks before we go to Halloween Horror Nights this year.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:01

Yes. I will make sure that you guys get it.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:03

And get, yeah, so we can play the secret songs for sure. Yeah, roller roller coasters are wild. I think I don't know what the tallest roller coaster y'all have been on. And I know there's it's King de Car. I know that's the tallest, but what's the tallest you've been on?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:17

King de Car front row.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:19

Oh, you've been on it? Oh, wow. 456 feet or some shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:24

To the face, yeah. No way.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:26

Is that the tallest one? Yeah. Look this up.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:29

I think it's in New Jersey. Or like Virginia, actually.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:32

Yeah, New Jersey. It's at six flags. Yeah, and it's New Jersey. Holy mother.

SPEAKER_05 1:23:37

How did that feel? Like what was that experience like?

SPEAKER_00 1:23:40

I was like probably 22, so it was just something to do. And now, like literally, when we went on that roller coaster in like 2019, Chris, I was so scared for my life. I was like, oh, actually, roller coasters are terrifying and I don't enjoy them the way I used to. Is that just getting all?

SPEAKER_01 1:23:54

Yeah, it was scary. I I don't know how I'm gonna feel if I do it again this year.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:58

Yeah, it's actually crazy that you were thinking of doing that.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:00

I guess I don't think I went on a roller coaster last year because we went on so many, we went through so many haunts and we didn't have express pass. Yeah. So there was no time.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:08

Yeah, this year it might be different, but that's crazy. I thought the highest I've been on is only like 255 feet or something. I think that's like Goliath at uh Six Flags in Santa Clarita. There's a Six Flags in Santa Clarita. Yeah, Six Flags Magic Mountain.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:24

Okay. You know what though?

SPEAKER_05 1:24:25

It's the only one I've been to.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:27

And in all seriousness, I can't fuck with Six Flags. This poor woman just passed recently, falling out of a Six Flags roller coaster after the she expressed concern and the employee said, Nah, you're good.

SPEAKER_05 1:24:39

Oh my god. Nah, you're good. You're good. Nah, let me out right now. Whi which Six Flags was this? Texas. Okay. So like the fat the like the thing that fastens you in was just loose or not locking in or something?

SPEAKER_01 1:24:54

Yeah, she she expressed concern for not feeling secure in her seat.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:58

And then literally flew out of her seat. That must have been so scary.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:02

You watch this movie and you're like, fuck, that's intense. Yeah. But then to know, like, yeah, someone actually it's it's just awful. It's really awful.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:11

And people do get stuck upside down on roller coasters. Like these things happen.

SPEAKER_05 1:25:14

That is like the fear. Like just getting stuck upside down just sounds like one of the worst times of all time.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:21

And and here's the thing. So growing up, up until I was maybe 15, 16 years old, I was deathly afraid of being upside down. I'm talking like if a friend were to just toss me around or like even when I was in cheerleading, I could just the idea of being upside down killed me. I would start screaming like crazy. And so I actually ended up getting over that fear when I did get on a roller coaster and my cousins lied to me and said that this one doesn't go upside down. They didn't let me see the roller coaster because then I would have caught on, right? But they lied to me, so that it didn't go upside down. After I rode the roller coaster, I was like, oh, everything was fine. They're like, Yeah, well, you just basically went upside down. I hope you know that. It was like one of those like very subtle moments where you went upside down. But I think back on that time where what if that was the now I'm being extreme, right? But like, what if that was the one time that I got stuck upside down?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:12

That's terrifying. My first roller coaster ever was at SeaWorld San Antonio, and it was the great white. And I had never been on a roller coaster ever. This one, I'm gonna say the metrics here and give you the specs, but I can guarantee you it's probably fucking nothing. It just felt scary as a child. It's 108 feet tall, an 80-foot drop, it is 2,562 feet long at 50 miles an hour. You get inverted five times, but you're standing up the entire time on the roller coaster.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:46

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:46

You're like buckled in, you're strapped in, buckled in, and your feet are dangling the entire fucking time, and it's two minutes long. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:26:53

Two minutes of just being flung every which way?

SPEAKER_01 1:26:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:56

There's oh yeah. See, there's so there's those regular roller coasters, there's like the old rickety ones that don't feel safe. There's the ones that just like quick, quick, quick, quick all the way up like hundreds of feet slowly until you just start dropping. That fucks with you.

SPEAKER_00 1:27:10

Oh my god, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:11

But then there's the ones that you like stand up or your laying your legs dangle or you're off to the sides off the track, flipping around in 360s and shit, and like going through like dragon's fire and all kinds of dumb shit. Like, that is when we're like taking it to this level that we're just asking, we're asking for it at that point. Literally. And I think one of the first roller coasters I ever rode was one of those stand-up ones. I think it was like Riddler's Revenge or some bullshit like that. And I was it's like one of those where you stand up, but when you get off the ride, and I learned this the hard way when you get off the ride, if you don't get off quick enough, the little thing that goes in between your legs goes up, and it just like nutshotted me as hard as it fucking could. It was one of the worst experiences ever. Fuck the ride. That thing just sucked. That thing sucked, it stuck with me forever.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:58

Gosh, you You mentioned the Goliath, though, and I think that's the tallest coaster I've been on. It was six flags over Georgia. The one you were at is taller. So the one that you went on is 235 feet tall, but it goes below the dirt. So you actually have a 255 foot drop.

SPEAKER_05 1:28:18

Right, right, right. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:20

85 miles an hour. The one that I was on in Georgia is 200 feet in the sky, so you can do 175-foot drop. Right. And that was enough for me to know. No, thank you. But the one you went on was even bigger. And to Paris, I'm not even I have no idea about the one that you went on. But well, I used to not be that attached to being alive. So apparently. But doubling that height is insane. Yeah. No, no, absolutely, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:47

And it was one of those ones that you go from zero to sixty. Oh, hell no. It's the most anxious thing. Like when you're like waiting for it, you're just like, you know, it's like cocked and ready to go, and any second you're just gonna, it's so scary, you guys.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:00

I want to look up the specs because the one that I went on was four G's, Sean pulled five, uh, four and a half G's. I want to know the G's that you pulled on that thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:09

It's probably not that many because it's only like 10 seconds long.

SPEAKER_04 1:29:11

Well, it doesn't matter if it's immediate, you're probably feeling something.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:15

I think the gray white was 4.6 G's. Hang the ka g's.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:20

Yeah, the G the G Force or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:23

It says five G's.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:25

Yeah. You can definitely black out on those little swirly turtles.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:29

The birds are 5G.

SPEAKER_05 1:29:30

I you know what? I'm probably a really shitty friend, but I had a I had a friend named Billy back in high school, and we went to Six Flags all together with a bunch of friends, and he had like a fear of heights and was not into roller coasters, and I was like, no worries, we're gonna start off slow. And I got in the line for Goliath. And I did that on purpose because I wanted him to have a good time for the rest of the day, but I didn't want to like I didn't want him to freak out. But once we got on the ride and we started going up the 255 or whatever feet it is up in the air as slow as possible to go to that drop, he was like crying. I I felt so bad. He was crying, but halfway down the drop, he was laughing, so it it really worked out in our favor, but I felt really bad.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:12

There's such a level of fucking anxiety. I remember, I think I've told this story before. One of the times that I went to is it Universal Studios that had the Hulk roller coaster? I remember waiting in line. It's either Universal or Islands of Adventure, but I waited in line so fucking long with my siblings, and then as soon as we were at the very front of the line, the roller coaster shut down. Like something happened, it stopped. We s we stayed there because we had invested so much time. So we're like, well, fuck it. We're next whenever it starts working. So we wait a while, we get on next. Mind you, I'm afraid of fucking heights. I had never seen the Hulk. So little did I know that there's a quote at the beginning of that where you're going up, you're going up, you're in a black tunnel, some lights are like kind of fl flashing, and you hear Eric Banner say, I think it's gonna work this time. And I'm like, What the fuck? What do you mean it's gonna work this time? Because I had no idea or context that it was the Hulk movie having a quote. I was like, What the fuck am I doing here?

SPEAKER_05 1:31:15

Yeah, those these are types of like these are lines you don't want to hear as you're about to get on a ride. You know what I mean? Quote from a movie or not, like just don't have it thrown out into the open just to fuck with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:27

No, it's giving an omen, it's giving final destination shit.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:32

Exactly. I had a very similar experience on the Hulk, Chris. My cousin used to work there at Universal, and we like got he was like, Okay, this is the first thing we have to do. And I was like, Okay, what is this? I've never seen the Hulk, like, I don't care about the Hulk. I was like, What is this? Why? And then we get in it, and he didn't tell me that it's one of the ones that like goes from zero to sixty because it looks like you're gonna go slowly up, but then it's just like I think it says that, and then it flings you, and I was not prepared and I had not breathed, so I couldn't inhale for the first like 60 seconds of it. It's a traumatic experience, the Hulk.

SPEAKER_05 1:32:00

That was like the Superman ride where you where you have two coasters. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that go like from zero to like a hundred is as as quick as possible, and it just shoots you just straight up in the air. I don't know how many feet, it just goes straight up in the air and then straight back down, and it would like chase the left and the right. And we used to, I would, I I feel like I would not uh to your point, Paris, I would not do this shit today just because I'm like, what the fuck was I thinking? But we would go up on this ride and we would like and we would like let go of a penny, and the penny would just literally float in the air as we went back down. And I'm just thinking of all the bullshit that could happen, thinking watching these movies back, like what if it lands in the tracks? What if it hits somebody in the head, like all kinds of shit? But we used to do that all the fucking time.

SPEAKER_04 1:32:49

Pigeon. It's crazy how many people drop stuff on major roller coasters. Yeah, it happens like constantly. How how do you do that after seeing this movie? Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:58

I don't think to be fair, I don't think a lot of people saw this movie.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:01

They're gonna need to start.

SPEAKER_05 1:33:03

But also after seeing this movie, you're literally telling everybody put that shit away, put that in your pocket, leave that in the locker, fasten your seatbelt.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:11

Absolutely. I was gonna say that they also have all these like equipment things, like you have to do a whole TSA screen check before you get on a roller coaster. At least in Orlando you have to.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:21

Which is good for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:22

Wow with reason for crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:24

I don't remember doing that before the roller coaster we went on Paris.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:28

Yeah, remember we had to put our stuff in that locker and then it was like a whole thing with the lockers.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:32

Well, yeah, but I thought that was normal. I don't just remember.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:35

Rip ride rocket? You definitely have to go through a uh detector. Uh Ripride Rocket. Rip ride rocket. And the Hulk as well. Definitely a detector on there, metal detector on there. A lot of the major ones do now.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:47

Maybe it's just been so long that I haven't really fucked around with caring to remember.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:51

We'll see what happens this year.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:54

Okay, wait, didn't a lot of the cast of Glee die in freak accidents?

SPEAKER_01 1:33:58

Okay, this is the terrible thing.

SPEAKER_00 1:34:00

I'm getting scared. I have chills. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:03

Yes, Cory Monteith tragically died of a drug overdose, and Naya Rivera, incredibly tragic, drowned in the lake. And they learned later that she had used what little bit of strength she had left to push her son back up on the boat and save his life.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:17

Oh wow. Yeah, to save his life. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:20

And I cried about that for months. I might cry about it more tonight.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:24

Yeah. Let's let's also well now I look like a dick because as much as I make fun of the fact that Chris is a big Glee fan and always brings it up in the episodes, I did watch Glee and I was very sad when Cory Monteat died. When I'm talking sad, I'm talking what like screaming into my pillow crying how from how upset I was. So it's very tragic. But my concern now is that since we've created this pipeline here, they died from like uh obviously all these other circumstances, but this is real eerie.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:55

I don't like it, but also what the fuck? You watched Glee and you never told me?

SPEAKER_02 1:34:59

Yeah, bitch, because I don't want to give you that satisfaction.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:01

You just clowned me this whole fucking time. It's been years. It's been years.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:05

I know, I don't want to give you the satisfaction. I I really didn't. The bit I did it for the bit. I have seen Glee.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:11

Wow. And the bit is betrayal.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:13

The bit is betrayal, it sure is, and I recognize that. I also don't even know when I stopped watching Glee. Probably when he died. I I do remember the memorial episode, and then I think I stopped.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:24

That was devastating, emotionally raw. I don't blame you for stopping. It wasn't particularly great right before that or right after that. But holy shit, I can't believe you minks.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:35

I just can't believe we brought this up. That's incredible. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:38

It's Coach Tanaka. Honestly, everything in the hardware store just makes me feel like the time I fell through my roof and thinking about how close that was for to a final destination moment. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:51

The most insane things happened to you. Truthfully.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:54

Kind of because she's like up on a roof.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:57

Up on a roof, on a whole other thing with curtains.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:00

Damn lesbians and their tools and their roofs. Yeah. Did I ever tell you about the time I almost choked on Bo Jangle's chicken because of the bone?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:12

Oh Chris, I swear, for all that's holy, it's like every what what is going on? Do we need a depoho? Like, do we need a cleanse? You're falling off of roofs. You ate a chicken bone and choked. Like, what's up?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:25

Okay, I told you that in 2005 my family was hexed. We were cursed.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:31

Cursed.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:32

Not hexed.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:33

You have been hexed.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:35

Wait, say the year again? 2005?

SPEAKER_01 1:36:37

2005.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:38

How long do hexes last?

SPEAKER_02 1:36:39

Wait a minute. Oh, I don't know about that. I don't know about all that. Depends on the hex, Sean.

SPEAKER_05 1:36:44

The average hex lasts about 17 hours and 54 minutes. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:49

Well, here's what I'll say about the hex, though, is that I believe I might need to be fact-checked. I think there is a final destination movie every year.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:56

No.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:57

Well, at that time. No, right? The point is that this one came out in 2006. Yeah. And you got hex in 2005, and you've experienced a bit of Final Destination related things.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:08

You really have. You're the most Final Destination person prone person that I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:12

Yeah, I'm as close as you can get to death without dying.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:16

Damn.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:17

The answer to my question, by the way, was three years. Every three years there was a Final Destination movie.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:22

Oh. And we need to get back to that cadence.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:24

Well, starting next year.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:32

Yes, that is the general consensus. That's the general consensus, indeed, most definitely.