387: Popeye: The Slayer Man (2025)

SPEAKER_03 0:04

Anchors away, my boys! Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Sorry, I didn't see you standing there in the friend zone. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

A total joke, a waste of time, or a slash. Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_03 0:32

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're ranking these movies with the perspective we've gained from our variant walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Super Five Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Are you trying to bribe me by dangling a piece of man in front of my face?

SPEAKER_03 0:48

And this week we're checking out the latest version of a classic cartoon that has entered the public domain, only to earn its own slasher.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

And if you're a patron, you'll also get to hear our B-side at the end of this episode where we dig into what we would do to some other classic cartoons.

SPEAKER_03 1:04

More than 90 years after being introduced to the world in a comic strip, Popeye the Sailor has reintroduced himself to audiences in a new way. The entry follows a growing trend of twisted reinterpretations of public domain characters, and is one of three horror titles released in the same year, all centering on the iconic sailor. The other two, Popeye's Revenge and Shiver Me Timbers, tread very different waters, but this installment aims to blend slasher sensibilities with urban legend atmosphere. The story follows a group of friends who sneak into a long-shuttered spinach factory after hearing whispers of a figure said to haunt the docks and the rustling halls of the plant. A figure once known as the Sailor Man. This week we're talking about Popeye the Slayer Man. What were you expecting going into this?

SPEAKER_01 1:56

I expected this to just be horribly written, horribly acted, with crappy special effects, and overall feeling very cheesy.

SPEAKER_03 2:04

Listen, man, that's fair. I mean when you have what we have with the Pooniverse of all things, I didn't have high expectations going into this, although I will be the first to admit that I did enjoy the Pooniverse. But I think my problem, Mac, is I get so high on the Pooniverse only to be brought back down by remembering what the mean one was.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

See, when you say Pooniverse, all I'm hearing is Pooniverse and not Pooh universe for some reason. That's how my brain is interpreting that.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

You need to fix that because it's the Pooniverse.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

But this is why I have, I think, these expectations. I didn't even watch Pooh. I didn't watch the Grinch movies. This whole generation of films is just not my thing, I think. And so like I didn't have good feelings getting into this. I saw the trailer and they showed us so much in the trailer. And so I'm thinking, like, this, you know, it's gonna be cheese tastic. Maybe they'll do it on purpose, maybe it won't be on purpose, and I'll be laughing at them instead of with them. But I think once you kind of get past the Popeye of it all, it's it's actually not that campy. It kind of reads as like a standard 80s sci-fi monster slasher situation. So all in all, it just feels like watching any other slasher movie.

SPEAKER_03 3:19

Yeah, man, listen, I think you gotta give Blood and Honey 2 a chance. Maybe not Blood and Honey, the first one around. I get it. I get it. But Blood and Honey 2, Electric Boogaloo, fucking great. And also, I'll be the first to admit, I saw Screamboat and it was fucking hilarious. I cannot wait for us to do that episode later this year. I'm not saying whether or not it's like fully slash material, but fucking David Howard Thornton as Steamboat Willy, Screamboat Willy, phenomenal, iconic. And that's the kind of whimsy and joy that I really hoped to feel in this one. Again, my expectations weren't super high because I have to land somewhere in that sweet spot on a scale of mean one to blood and honey two. I haven't gotten to see Peter Pan's movie that happened earlier this year, but watching this one, I found myself torn and in some moments split down the middle because there's a lot in here where I thought, okay, this is kind of fun. And then there are others where I found myself realizing how much it was dragging, and that is a bit of a disappointment. These movies and the makeup of these movies relies on camp and humor to really carry it through, or it needs to be really trim and very specific with what it's doing. And it's not that this movie is forever long, it's just that there's some parts of it where I'm like, okay, can we just fucking keep it pushing?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

They really do take their time in a lot of scenes where they just don't need to take their time, and there's there's other moments that they kind of just blast through. And so I think they could have flipped things around a little bit here. They had a good pace at the beginning, which is, you know, when you have a character like this, you have to kind of hold off from showing them too much. And that was my disappointment was we just saw him full costume, fully on display all the time, constantly, just standing there for seconds, you know, a quick flash, I'm expecting at the beginning of the movie, but no, from the start, we got to see everything. And so I think they needed to kind of space that out a little bit more, build up a little bit more apprehension because honestly, he doesn't look good. He's not good to look at.

SPEAKER_03 5:27

I agree with you. My biggest disappointment in this movie is the way Popeye looks, and I think the actor who plays him looks enough like a passable Popeye that we didn't need to get quite as much as we got. I feel like there's ways to maybe accentuate his form without doing exactly what we got. And we will go deep into it in the spoiler zone, but I will say I'm not as bad in this sense as I think you're feeling because I really appreciated the moments where it did conceal him in the shadows. Yeah, we got him standing there in some moments, but some of the fucking framing was excellent, and there's a lot in there that I think sets itself up well for him being a lurking presence.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

That's where they were successful was when we had those moments. The other moments where we just have him standing there fully in frame in bright lighting, I was like, that should be so much shorter.

SPEAKER_03 6:24

Yeah, I don't want to see the pores on that rubber mask.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

No, absolutely not. And we were getting it felt like way too up close and way too brightly lighting. But those moments you mentioned where they have him in the shadows in this very dark, unlit warehouse. Yes, that's exactly what we're here for. Or those feelings of like, ah, this is weird watching Popeye being a bad guy.

SPEAKER_03 6:45

Yeah, let me tell you what else I was surprised with, though. I was surprised how much they committed to the bit with recontextualizing Popeye's lore. That was shocking. This is a movie that is a dumb fucking slasher. They didn't have to take quite the angles that they took. And while it's not perfectly executed by any means, folks, there is the hint of a alleged deeper narrative. There are some angles here that can make you wait and say, huh, if we take off their glasses and let down their hair a little bit, it might look a little bit better in the right light.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

If you kind of plan to the whole like soap operiness of it in several different ways that they didn't need to, but it's also kind of fun that they did.

SPEAKER_03 7:30

It absolutely did. And I think that's what really takes center stage for me in terms of this movie's identity. Because, man, there's the promise of something deeper, and it's not that this movie has to be that deep, but I think Blood and Honey 2 is a good example of this, where you have just some fucked up shit happening. And oh, by the way, yeah, there is a through line there, there is a reason why this is the way it is. But I think where this movie both shines and then also gets in its own way is that it tries so hard to commit to the bit, and there are moments where it feels funny, like, okay, yeah, you understand how to take this not super seriously, and then it goes, okay, now we're back to being boring. And it just kind of muddles itself and muddies the waters.

SPEAKER_01 8:20

Yeah, they really leaned into it in a couple places with things like the dialogue, even just like the naming of characters, where it was like, hey, we're we're in on this with you. Both of us are laughing because we get the references. And when they had those moments, I appreciated it. They did stay kind of way too serious for pretty much everything else. And they really had the room to go campy if they wanted to for a lot of the film. And they didn't really go scary, that's for sure, because it's Popeye the Sailor Man in a Slayer Man setup, and that's fine. Accept that fact and just give us a competent slasher, and we'll be happy, I think. But you have to appreciate the context of this is coming from a cartoon character, and so I think a little bit of camp goes a long way.

SPEAKER_03 9:00

It does, which is why this sucks in some respects, because there are moments where there's good physical comedy, but it doesn't commit itself quite enough to even really earn a title as a horror comedy. It flirts with the idea, but never commits. It's like it's in a situationship with being a comedy. It's like, will we, won't we? I'll have the promise of it, I'll show you the potential, but we'll never capitalize on it. And you know, looking at just what this movie is made up of overall, I think it gets points for its concept. It's so fucking out of left field that I almost respect it because we have, yeah, Popeye is a slasher villain instead of the hero. Yet we have the Spanish canning factory. It's not something that we haven't seen before, but it's unique enough to Popeye that we really can all just step back and say, Well, did we fucking see this coming? When was the last time you thought about Popeye the Sailor Man?

SPEAKER_01 10:00

In in this context, it's also like a completely random thing, you know? It's something where it's like, hey, one plus one in this case equals 12 and whatever. Like, let's roll with it. I'm here to see what happens with that. And they make it different. Obviously, obviously, this is based off of Popeye the Sailor Man, and obviously it's gonna pay nods to plenty of other slashers. I'm also getting that like 1980s focus on things like toxic sludge. You know, there's that feeling here. It's not quite toxic Avenger status at all, but there's that feeling here of kind of semi-supernatural, kind of bad guy, yet you know him, and so you don't want to fully hate him quite yet. You want to see, you want to let him cook. Let's say you want to let him cook. And so, like, yeah, it's it's got its own, you know, little thing going on for it, I guess, which is very unique. I don't know how the other Popeye films are going to compare to this, or if they will, the other ones that come out this year. Not no idea, but I I know this one in particular is kind of standing alone so far.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

Yeah, well, here's the thing. I kind of want to watch them out of morbid curiosity, but I have a feeling that this is probably the best looking one. I looked at the artwork for Popeye's Revenge, and I am feeling all kinds of fucked up about that. And I was also feeling all kinds of fucked up about the ending of this movie. And here's where I struggle. It's not even that it's a bad ending, it's that it's a mediocre ending. It was really trying its best to do a Halloween kills moment.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

What they did here was kind of weird because they actually had a really decent, simple ending that gave them room to grow if they wanted to. And then they threw on this random bonus bookend scene as just like a worse wrap-up than they already had, which was kind of strange. I mean, they got to a point here where it was like, all right, we're at a fitting point to move on to whatever the next chapter is going to be. It's not the strongest, but it's, you know, it's decent. And then they're like, nah, just kidding. We gotta copy the front of the film now. Now we have to throw in just another thing just to be silly. It seems more cartoonish than it had earned by that point.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

Yeah. It's problematic at best. And I mean, listen, I feel like I've been very generous with these kinds of movies, but I'm excited to see where we actually shake on this one because I'm still, I think, finding my way with my feelings. But I think it's time for us to go ahead and start making our way towards that inevitable rating. Uh, before we actually give our scores, Mac, how would you rate the gore score?

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Well, look, we get gore fully in frame. It's not low. It's not the most gore that we've seen, it's not the craziest. So I think it's probably like a Goldilocks medium.

SPEAKER_03 12:30

And what about the animal report?

SPEAKER_01 12:32

I am happy to report that we are all good in the hood.

SPEAKER_03 12:34

Oh, fantastic. Well, Popeye the Slayer Man, 2025. Is it a hack or was it a slash? And I think I'll go ahead and just kick this off because I think I'm finding myself along the way. This is really a journey of my own personal growth. I'm a sucker for slashers. I'm also a sucker for some dumb bullshit sometimes. I can really get into that. And I'm 50-50 on this movie, and I was really 50-50 throughout most of it because there's a few fun kills that tip the scales. And then if you look close enough, you can just see recycled effects here and there. This movie is not great, and I think it relies on a deeper level of familiarity with Popeye and lore than I think it really deserves to have. I can't remember the last time I thought about fucking Popeye, except for being in the Navy. People make the fucking sailor jokes. But beyond that, I don't know Popeye intimately, the way we know The Grinch, the way we know Winnie the Pooh, the way we know Bambi, Pinocchio, even fucking Mickey Mouse. You know what I mean? Like, this is a this is a little niche, but it still has a concept that I respect. It has cinematography that I respect. This movie is a dumb movie that's executed technically kind of okay. And I I'm struggling because I think it it's barely a slash for me. But I want to be very clear. I do not recommend that you make a whole evening in a production out of watching this movie. I think if you have the opportunity to watch this movie with friends and you're into buckle in for a fucking good time and just like talk shit with each other, I think this is a good option. I don't think it's a good only option. I think you should put this in as like maybe the second or third movie in a string of just bullshit. That's where I think this movie can really shine. I may revoke this score at the end of the year, but for now, I had just enough fun with it to make it a slash.

SPEAKER_01 14:32

Okay, and I can see where you're coming from, especially this battle of 50-50 could go either way the entire time you're watching it. I think the battle for me was the silliness of it being Popeye. I think without that, it would have been a quick and easy, maybe like 60% slash. Like, okay, like it's it's there, it's a slasher, I appreciate what it's got going on. You know, it's got a fairly straightforward setup for the antagonists and almost as you know, equally simple of a plot. The kills are pretty strong. Like you mentioned, there's some recycled stuff here and there. They could have done more, they could have leaned into Popeye and perhaps threw out a few quotes from the cartoons and we would have been okay with it. But it's Popeye. And boy, our Popeye looks bad. Not like bad in a good way, though. I think, like you mentioned, Chris, that the actor playing Popeye needed only a wardrobe change and minor makeup to look the part. We were there. But instead, we got an insanely cartoony do-up instead. It was just strange. The dialogue, though, wasn't quite as campy as I thought it was going to be, and it the material really allows for them to go full camp if they want to. That would have benefited our actors because they're doing their best, but they're giving us B-movie performances for a lot of it. I'll give credit to the writing because it actually seemed, you know, fairly okay. Now, thankfully, that was not enough to take me to full hack territory. So I think without it being Popeye, we're looking at like 60%, you know, we're a slash here, about 51% slash.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

Wow. I'm gonna be honest, I'm a little surprised. I don't know this movie deserves to be a universal slash. I feel like it deserves to have an asterisk next to its name, but for now, Popeye the Slayer Man has written a universal slash. But we clearly have so much more to discuss when we return from break. Now, you can find this movie available for rent online. You can find a link to it in our show notes and link to the discussion about this fucking movie in our Discord server. That's where the real fun is. But go check it out. Then when we return from our break, we're gonna dive deeper into the spoiler zone territory and unpack the wild fucking angles this shit tries to take. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_02 16:43

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SPEAKER_03 17:43

Welcome back, folks. You're now entering the spoiler zone for Popeye the Slayer Man from 2025, which has really locked its way into a temporary universal slash. And we have a lot to unpack here. But before we get into the specifics of those ratings, let's go through those kills.

SPEAKER_01 18:00

We have quite a few kills to get through here. We have 10 of them. We've got limbs being torn off, we have heads being smooshed, several wrists are broken, and of course, a good old head smash and stomp. So which one was your favorite?

SPEAKER_03 18:14

Okay, there's a couple things I really want to point out here. Like you mentioned, we had the security guard who got the Sartane special and it's just a head stomp. But I want to give this movie some compliments because this and Screamboat managed to do something that looks way better than a specific kill that I commented on in Jason Takes Manhattan, and that is Miguel's death in the beginning of the movie. And it has a death in the shadows, but then when we reveal what happened to him, we have intestines everywhere. And the practical effects on the gore in this movie are not bad at all. And I think that's what bumps it up into that slash territory. They're kind of fun, but man, those intestines, super gross.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

They were really gross, and I appreciate them for I think putting a lot of energy into the effects, and probably money and time as well, because you know that that one had a lot going on with it. Some of the other ones where we're just getting the wrists being broken, I was like, we kind of got that. Like, you don't have to do that again. Find a different way to approach this kill, please.

SPEAKER_03 19:15

But there was so much copy and paste of the fucking wrist snapping.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

That was definitely a negative. That was not in their favor to repeat that particular thing. And I think you can pull from the comics, you know, they do all sorts of silly things where they bop people on top of their heads all the time in the comics. So, like, give us one of those, go vertical with that thing, and we'll see what happens. Because you got the strength, apparently, to smash right through somebody's head or right through their guts and open them up.

SPEAKER_03 19:38

Yeah, I also want to give a shout out to Terry. Anchors Away. Come the fuck on. When I heard the term anchors away, oh my god, it shot me back to October to December 2008 and having to walk around the fucking station in boot camp singing, Anchors Away, my boys. Oh my fucking god.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

To their credit, they made it a little bit more interesting by not making a simple one strike. We had to go back for the double tap to fully separate the neck and the head, and that's not what I thought was going to happen. I thought that heavy ass anchor was gonna smush that dude's face, and instead he used it to bisect his head from his neck.

SPEAKER_03 20:20

Yeah, which I'm okay with, but also, bro, how can you stomp on a guy's head, Sartane special, and then the anchor not do more devastation?

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Yeah, that was very surprising. And like the fact that he had to go back for the second swing, I was like, that thing is not that sharp. I'm sorry. That would have definitely just crushed and not cut.

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Mm-hmm. Oh, I really also want to give a shout out here to Joey getting what he fucking deserved, beaten with his own fucking arm.

SPEAKER_01 20:47

That was, I think, part of the comedy of this movie. And it was like weird because it was not done in a comedic way. But the fact that he just beat on him for a solid minute or two with his own severed arm that he just ripped off of him. I was like, okay, be more campy, be like this. This is what we need from this character, and probably I'm sure this franchise is gonna spawn afterwards. But beating this douche with his own arm was a great touch, you know, because I think we thought he was just gonna do the old smush of his head and put his fingers through his eyes or whatever, but no, he grasped that puppy and just tore and ripped it right off. And I'm like, okay, what's he gonna do next? I thought he's gonna shove this through his throat or he's gonna punch him real fast and be like the punisher cave in his face. And no, no, no, no. He just beat him. He beat him silly with the dude's severed arm.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Yeah. Okay, but you mentioned hands, fingers through the eyes. We did have this moment of uh Friday the 13th with Jason Voorhees, where he really just sticks the thumbs right through the eyes and then crushes the head.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

This Popeye felt very Jason ish, very Jason ish in the kills, in the slow walk, in the quiet stare. A lot of it felt like Jason. Thinking Popeye is really strong and outgoing, he's very verbal sometimes in the cartoons. So, what's he gonna be like? I didn't imagine the silent stalker was gonna be the style of killer that we would get here.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

Yeah, I thought that stood out in a way because he was such an interesting blend between some moments of Jason, some moments of Michael, because he has the presence that I think Michael well, he tries to have the presence that Michael has, the looming in the shadows, lurking in the background, but then the brute force and the utter strength, like the behemoth strength of Jason Voorhees, which is interesting because if we put Michael and Jason up next to each other, Jason, I think, just looks hulking in comparison. But I think that's where I really struggled with this movie. We mentioned it earlier. Popeye looked like complete shit. Sure, the forearms are there, they're big, they're round, okay. But this movie is almost held hostage by its poor costuming for Popeye, which is a shame because there are moments where his frame looks great in comparison to the scenery around him. So we mentioned earlier that shadow work, right? There are scenes that are blocked in a way that elevates what could have just been a very campy costume killer. There are a lot of shots in this movie that actually look fucking great. That's why I think the red band trailer for this movie was so intriguing why I was so excited to watch it. Because the cinematography and the lighting really does wonders to make this really shitty costume shine.

SPEAKER_01 23:34

Oh gosh. They I think went with like a one-piece mask for this dude, and they really should have gone for multiple pieces to augment his face. Because, like you said earlier, he already kind of matches the build of Popeye, but then they're going to accentuate his arms. I'm okay with it. He's got, you know, the V shape going on here, like a Superman that's too buff almost. That's fine. But the face is where they failed because it's not mobile enough and it just makes it look like a mask. Even though the texture might not be perfect, I think if they went for smaller pieces to give him the chin and to give him the eye slash and all that, like that would have been fine. The whole getup though, when you looked at it, looked like a mask was on someone's face. And that's that was bad. It was not good. It was not salvageable at that point. So I hope if they do another one, learn from that, make it a little bit smaller scale, accentuate features on the guy's already existing face. Because, like you said, visually the rest of the movie is doing pretty good stuff. I mean, the kills, we've got some really nice solid gore going on here. Whatever's going on with this color of this town, this place is blue and dreary and is looking drab. Let's just say it looks like a place you get depressed.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

It's looking real twilight.

SPEAKER_01 24:42

It's 100% twilight. I didn't I don't think I picked up on that at all, but yes, absolutely the color grading of Twilight applied to this film.

SPEAKER_03 24:49

Yeah, it really fucking did. Okay, but here's the interesting thing here. We had some incredible effects work, we had some incredible foley, we had some incredible cinematography, we talked about that. I want to throw it back even to our realtor who had some documents drawn up, went back to the factory, is later fucking scalped before she's completely obliterated. What a brutal fucking death she had. But I want you to think of that moment, Mac, and then I want you to remember that there's a point where she is pulling Dexter's sleeve back up from his wound, and the sound design is not matching what's happening on screen. That shit drove me fucking crazy. Like this movie gets so close to really incredible moments, and then it does some shit that feels real inconsistent.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

I don't know if it's an execution issue, if it's a skill issue, if somebody got rushed, if this is what the budget allowed or what, but they have a lot of those moments going on with the production. Like you mentioned earlier, a couple of those shots seem reused, and I think I almost would have preferred it had they done things badly on purpose. You know, when you watch spoof movies and they do things like cut to somebody else's hands in a shot instead of the actual actors on purpose to kind of show how ridiculous something is. They didn't lean into campiness enough, but they had the opportunity to do so plenty. You know, the characters that we get could have really, really been played out even more. I think Bernie was a perfect example of like this is what this movie needs because it's so silly, and but it's taken in such a serious way, and that's what makes it great. I mean, we talked about Popeye's costume, they could have done more to make that land differently had they just embraced the fact that this is indeed silly. The spinach, though, I'm gonna give them credit because they found a way, they found a reason, they found the thing that makes this Popeye exist, and it's silly, and that's why I like it. It gave me Toxic Avenger vibes because it's glowing and it's green and it's tainted or whatever, but that thing where we see it and you're like, oh, it's contaminated with what uranium? It's ridiculous, and that's why I liked it.

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Okay, here's my problem with the spinach. It didn't fucking look good in a world where you and Sean pointed out how easy it is to make something glow green by getting the fucking glow stick fluid, it's so easy, was right there. Why the fuck did we do that? We could have gotten some spinach and some fucking glow stick liquid, and I'm sure it would look better than this fucking CGI'd shit. That it was fucking gross looking. It reminded me of some of the terrible effects that we've seen in some of these other movies that we've done recently, and and which this specific one is escaping me. But it's just those moments, those tiny moments where something looks a little bit fucked up and it looks inconsistent with the rest of the scenery. It it's not effective. It doesn't win me over, it doesn't sell me on the moment, and that's where I really struggled. Now, I mentioned earlier that this movie had some moments where Popeye even reminded me of Michael Myers. I want to give one last fucking jab at the costume here because Mac, you remember Halloween 5.

SPEAKER_01 27:56

As we all do, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

And you remember that Tina had a boyfriend, and Tina's boyfriend had a Halloween mask. It was the brute mask that Michael Myers puts on at one point. That shit had a fucking protruding ass jaw, and then the hollowed-out eyes. Granted, I know he looks different. This does really look like a Popeye mask, but that's what it fucking reminded me of, and I could not stop thinking about it.

SPEAKER_01 28:19

That is hilarious now that you mentioned it, because I absolutely can see that. Actually, it might have had better definition, I think, that mask than the one that Popeye wears.

SPEAKER_03 28:29

Yeah, it fucking sucks, is what it is. But here's the thing another comparison, another moment where I really felt some Halloween energy. One in the very fucking end, where Popeye is looking out from the factory from the window, it's giving Michael Myers in the Myers house. Another moment, though, was actually my favorite scene. And it reminds me of the Seminole Hit Classic. And by Seminal Hit Classic, I mean the movie that a lot of people shit on, but I love Halloween Resurrection. Mac, have you seen Halloween Resurrection?

SPEAKER_01 28:57

I have indeed. I've seen Resurrection.

SPEAKER_03 28:59

Okay, fantastic. Because there's a moment here where we see Popeye on surveillance video, and I fucking love that. Because it's not just Halloween Resurrection, it's also a little bit of Halloween 2 1981, where we see Michael Myers walking around on CCTV in the hospital. But there's a point where Popeye walks into view while she's distracted on her phone. Yes, I know it's a classic horror beat. We've seen this in other movies, but it played well, and I fucking loved it. And then for her to be sitting at the desk with the fucking monitors, and we see Popeye lurking in the back of her, and then later she gets up, comes back, and he's fucking there behind the screens. Ah, I just fuck like that. Was the shit. It wasn't scary, but it was just fucking good. It was fun. That's where the this movie shines.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

It was fun, and they could have gone even sillier, and it still would have worked, especially that shot of him standing clearly in the frame of the security camera or whatever camera it was that they had set up. If you had done something like wave and she was looking away, that would have even taken it up to a notch. So they could have gone more serious, or they could have gone and it would have worked really well. I think that was just fun seeing him move around and be unseen by all the people in here. I think the other fun stuff I liked, I mentioned Bernie earlier, but Bernie's monologue, both of them, honestly, those were my favorite. And I think his delivery of it is very gruff and very serious and very haggard. And then we realize in this town, he is just like, you know, the bumbling drunk. And they're like, shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. And it just moved on from there. And that was great because that type of character exists and especially in all these like seafaring tales where there's whatever they are, you know, whether it's vampires or evil fish or something, there's always that person that they flip to, you know, stay off the moors, for instance. And that worked well. And then they made fun of him for it. And then we got the repeat later on, where we see the young, the young guys doing the same thing where they're like, shut up, Bernie. And I love that for some reason that comedy just really worked for me.

SPEAKER_03 30:56

Yeah, I think I struggled with Bernie a bit because if he fucking said, he's not a ghost, he's real one more fucking time. I think I'm really just a little jaded because there's that guy when I went to Savannah, Georgia, I went on a tour, a ghost tour. The dead bodies are under your feet. You're standing on dead bodies right now. I'm just so sick of hearing people repeat things over and over again. I think it's my struggle. But you know who Bernie reminds me of? Family Guy. The pirate.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

I have not watched enough Family Guy.

SPEAKER_03 31:27

Wow. Okay. Well, if you look up the pirate from Family Guy, it's gonna be super fucking obvious. He's just the fisherman, he has like two peg legs, and he's just all about some fucking sea shanties and some lore.

SPEAKER_01 31:38

I'm just looking at the picture right now, and I could see that. That works. That's kind of the idea, I think, behind Bernie's character, and that's why it plays out so well because we have this nautical theme. We have a sailor man as our antagonist here, and so I think you have to throw in that kind of a character if you want to complete how ridiculous this whole setup is, and that I loved it. I think as far as characters go, he was one of the more entertaining ones.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

Yeah, sure. Yeah, I'll give you that. I gotta also acknowledge, though, that these characters reminded me again how much I fucking hate when people say daddy.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 32:11

He said, Adrian, come to daddy. Well, he said in a more disgusting, sinister way in the beginning of the fucking movie, like when they're herding this woman into this fucking factory. I will never not hate the way men call themselves daddy.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

I don't understand anyone calling themselves that unless they're talking to a dog or a child. Those are the only two respectable times when you can use that phrase being self-referential. And the other situation there, it's not good.

SPEAKER_03 32:36

Yeah, even talking to a dog or a child, I'm like, yeah, okay, whatever, don't love that.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Yeah. They had several moments where some of the like storylines behind those characters seemed like they were not going to deliver anything and it was gonna just be this massive waste of time. That was one example where as soon as they get into it, it's like just get the kill out of the way, set the tone for the movie. We don't need this whole backstory. And then it was like, oh, they're going, they're going in a direction with it. That is interesting to say the least. But later on, we get the same thing when we get Joey just being a jerk, and he's introduced at the at a point in the movie where it felt like that's completely unnecessary. We've already got the setup, we're already gonna head out to this factory. Why do we need this complication? And I think it's still paid off, though, because they wanted to have someone that we hated and they wanted someone that we could kill brutally and the the audience would root for, and it worked. I was like, okay, yep, that's how I feel about this guy. So that is okay. But at the start, though, it was like this is just gonna be an unnecessary complication, another little soap opera twist, kind of like they did with the whole predictable thing of Popeye being Olivia's father. I thought he was gonna be like the grandfather or something, because apparently he's been haunting for however long.

SPEAKER_03 33:46

But Popeye has haunted this town for 40 years. Spinach is ken tonight.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

They mentioned her name. I never paid attention to the fact that it was Olivia, so I think when the we saw the two girls who are coming along, and I'm thinking, yeah, one of them is going to be Olive. That's what's gonna happen. It's gonna be like all those movies where she's either, you know, the kind of situation here where she's like the long-lost love reincarnated, or I don't even know what they're gonna do here, but it's in some case, one of these is gonna be Olive. Didn't even think perchance that it was gonna be Sweet P. You know, and her name is Olivia. When I realized her name was Olivia, I was like, oh, it was obvious the whole time. That is wild.

SPEAKER_03 34:24

As soon as they said Olivia, I was like, oh well, fuck, here we go. I didn't think it was gonna be the sweet pea, I thought it was just gonna be a Todd, and that's how they were gonna reference olive oil. And then when we get the badge of olive oil later, we realize that she is Olivia's mother. Okay, go off. I want to actually explore this though, because they could have had a few more references to Popeye. We had the man dressed as I believe his name is Wimpy, who's always looking for some fucking cheeseburgers, and this guy's like kicking them out of the bar saying we don't fucking sell cheeseburgers on IOUs. We had that, but I think I just don't know enough about Popeye lore to really appreciate everything that they did here.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Yeah, there's small things like that one that you mentioned, the whole cheeseburger thing. That was good, but there's other big things I felt were missing. Bluto is one of them. How can we not have this character in this film, especially when we're talking about Popeye's girl? So I'm thinking, oh, they're saving it. They gotta be saving it for later. He had to have kidnapped olive oil or something because both of them are basically missing from this, and that's gotta be our chance to get a little bit more Popeye. So who knows if they'll make another one, but I think that was a big one to miss out on. Brutus is another one, very similar, I think, that we could have gotten to Pluto. And no, it was just, you know, blank spaces where they wanted to keep it simple, apparently, and maybe leave things open for later.

SPEAKER_03 35:48

Yeah, they want the Pipe, they want the Popeye cinematic universe.

SPEAKER_01 35:52

That's what it seems like, you know. I know we have the whole poo universe and everything, but you know, there's a little bit too much room left open here. But they have those small moments where you can kind of tell the namings of things, the naming of the spinach factory, the naming of the town, the naming of the newspaper, whatnot, that I'm like, I know that there are references to the cartoon, but I don't know the cartoon well enough to actually know if it's a good reference or not, or if it means something more than it should, because let's be honest, it's been a couple years, you know, since any of us really thoroughly watched this. And at that point, none of us were being that thorough.

SPEAKER_03 36:23

You think of Popeye, you think of I am what I am, you think of eating cans of spinach, okay, king. You think of olive oil, sweet pea, maybe Pluto.

SPEAKER_01 36:34

Maybe.

SPEAKER_03 36:34

Yeah, that's about it though. And this is where, again, I struggle because Olivia had some intrigue as the daughter, as the vinyl girl. There's some stuff there, but I wish there was more for her to do emotionally. I think the foundation was there. I just wish we got a little bit more of it instead of maybe a little bit less of Joey fucking running around. Now, the thing here is that I can appreciate that they gave us someone to really fucking hate. Alright? Joey is one of the big villains in this fucking movie. However, so is capitalism, so is this factory owner. Like, there are a lot of different antagonists in this movie, in addition to Popeye. So it kind of, you know, makes crime seem more negligible.

SPEAKER_01 37:17

It does, and that's why it's like they're twisting him towards being kind of a protagonist perhaps in the future. He's this anti-hero right now. He's still a villain, you know, he's still killing.

SPEAKER_03 37:26

He's basically Zoro.

SPEAKER_01 37:28

Well, I mean, basically, aside from all the unnecessary face smooshing, but but yeah, I mean, they set us up in a couple different ways here. It's almost a little bit too much. They had that balance the whole time of like how do we introduce something and not overdo it, especially with characters or plot where they came real close and then they kind of backed off a little bit and kept it simple and it worked really well. Or I should say, you know, it worked well enough, perhaps. But no, I think they went a little short on a couple things. I think we've already mentioned the absolute worst part of this movie, the thing they went the shortest on.

SPEAKER_03 37:56

Popeye. Popeye. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:58

And it's the strangest thing where you're like Popeye the S Popeye the Slayer Man was okay, but Popeye the Slayer Man, the actual character was horrible.

SPEAKER_03 38:06

Yeah, it's really because he's so awful to look at up close. That's the real issue here because it breaks immersion. If you're dropped into this movie, obviously there's some suspension of disbelief, and there's a journey that you had to take along with these characters to really feel invested in their story. And looking at this guy's rubbery ass mask, and you expect me to believe that he's not just like an employee who dressed up as a mascot for the brand, who was then fucking trapped in this place and is haunting it. No, because that could have been an angle. This could have been a costume angle. But you want me to believe that this man with no eyes, this hollow ass rubbery mask, is actually a human who was contaminated by radioactive spinach. That's what you want me to believe. Fuck that noise.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

There was a way to redeem this that was way more stylistic than I think they they went for here, and that is to use that type of aesthetic for other characters, like you would see in like Dick Tracy, for instance. We saw something like that happen in Sin City where we have these exaggerated features and they don't make sense, but it's a bunch of characters, so you see that it's kind of comic, it's kind of cartoonish. Had they had another character or two or three that were of a similar style, I think it would have been a deliberate choice. So we would have seen, oh, that's what they're going for here, these exaggerated things. I think the realtor was the perfect opportunity to show someone as a really ugly, weird, inhuman-looking character. That was an obvious choice. I think when we saw olive oil in the photo, give her the same treatment if you want to, but if it's just gonna be the one character, it doesn't make sense. You can see that his mouth can't really move. You can see, like you said, that the eye that's missing is just a hollow part in the mask. It doesn't look good. The other one, I'm sorry, but you can kind of tell it's not set correctly because it looks like his eye is too far back inside of the mask and is not forward enough to look natural.

SPEAKER_03 40:05

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think what Mac is saying is give us the Jim Henson version of Popeye the Slayer Man.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

Yeah, that would work, you know? The Who Framed Roger Rabbert really is what I want from this movie.

SPEAKER_03 40:17

Yeah, who framed Popeye?

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Right. Because who dressed him?

SPEAKER_03 40:22

Okay, we can make this movie better. Hear me out. Sweeney Todd, but it's Popeye. Because Sweeney Todd, what is he but a man on a quest to find his wife and daughter?

SPEAKER_01 40:33

That's honestly perfect. I do have a question though, because maybe this was a choice for the movie, but I don't remember Popeye wearing white. So it's kind of weird because I'm pretty sure he had a black shirt on.

SPEAKER_03 40:43

Well, fuck. I'll be damned. You know, I never once paid attention to what he was wearing in the cartoon. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 40:51

I don't think the live action Popeye even went this silly into the character's design. I think it looked just regular.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

What a great observation, Mac. I never once paid attention to the color of his costuming.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

It's just something I think that catches you off guard because it's so bright white and it doesn't match the aesthetic of like his living space in any way. Like, what is he doing to keep that shirt so bleach white?

SPEAKER_03 41:14

Well, that's a great fucking question. Do you think he has any washing machines in there?

SPEAKER_01 41:18

Maybe he just takes it out to the water at the dock and does it by hand and then comes back and irons his lines into his shirt?

SPEAKER_03 41:25

The sad thing is that I'm now looking at men's Halloween costumes of Popeye, and they all look better than this movie.

SPEAKER_01 41:30

Oh, that's the worst.

SPEAKER_03 41:31

Womp womp.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

But that's where I think they could have leaned in, like it, you know, like we said earlier, and made it apparent that it was deliberate. Play into the cartooniness of it all, play into the fact that this is silly. Instead didn't do it enough, and so now the character reads it's just bad.

SPEAKER_03 41:46

Yeah, but you know what? Hey, I can get past it enough to throw it on again for a niche watch party or a what the fuck is this horror movie themed night. It has its moments, but I don't think this is like a critical must revisit. But I could absolutely spike this up in the lineup. And if I have someone over who wants to watch some dumb bullshit, this could be on there.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

I think that's being pretty generous. I think I was generous enough by giving it a slash that might be that might be pushing it. I did what I could do by saying that people should watch it, but to do it again, that's asking a lot.

SPEAKER_03 42:21

Yeah, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, huh?

SPEAKER_01 42:25

I mean, I'm sitting here watching this thinking of the ginger dead man.

SPEAKER_03 42:28

Oh, fuck that.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

I don't know if it's because of the warehouse or because of the bakery and how it kind of seems similar. And maybe it's you know, the ginger dead man was much campier, and I think it's sad that I yearned for that while watching this.

SPEAKER_03 42:40

Okay, that does make me sad because the ginger dead man was not a fucking good movie.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

Oh, it was horrible.

SPEAKER_03 42:45

This is far and away an improvement in many categories. And think about the money they saved not casting Gary Busey.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

It's worth every penny to not cast Gary Busey as Popeye in this day and age. But we've given it pluses and minuses on both sides. I just hope that if they do more, that they kind of redeem themselves and learn and go firmly in one direction.

SPEAKER_03 43:08

Yeah, well, I am excited to see what Shiver Me Dimbers or Popeye's Revenge end up spitting out. But for now, there you have it, folks. Popeye the Slayer Man from 2025 has somehow squeaked by with a universal slash. Now we've certainly had a robust discussion here, but it doesn't end here by any means. If you want to find out how you can go further than this specific episode, well consider supporting the show by visiting patreon.com slash hackerslash where you can enjoy more of the show, including some bonus content with early access, extended episodes with our B sides, movie nominations, and even live shows.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

And if you're strong to the finish because you eat your spinach, leave us a five star review wherever you get your podcasts. This helps us to continue to deliver great content for all you horror fiends out there. I am what I am.