428: Teaching Mrs. Tingle (1999)

SPEAKER_00 0:04

I should not be in public with my feet.

SPEAKER_02 0:10

Scream 7 is rapidly approaching theaters next month, and it will be Kevin Williamson's second feature film as a director. This week we're turning back time to explore his first directorial stint, which came after great success in the late 90s as a screenwriter with Scream, and I know what you did last summer. He was actually even faced with opportunities to expand his reach into horror, including being offered to direct the 1998 film, The Faculty. He instead elected, however, to step behind the camera to direct a high school story, well, another high school story, that blends ambition, authority, and consequences. The script centered on a senior whose academic feature hinges on one obstacle: a teacher with total control over grades, recommendations, and reputations. The project was originally titled with a more violent title, but the Columbine tragedy of April 1999 led the studio to change the name before release. The story follows what happens when a plan to secure a validatorian title turns into a situation no one can fully manage. It's a premise that echoes earlier workplace revenge narratives, filtered through lockers, lesson plans, and the pressure cooker of graduation. This week we're talking about teaching Mrs. Tinkle. Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hacker Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. We might as well make it count, right? If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack. A total joke. A waste of time. Or a slash.

SPEAKER_00 1:47

Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies for the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

I miss my chili mama.

SPEAKER_02 2:02

And the paranormal paramour, Binks. A B? I don't think so. While you're tuning in to hear us review Teaching Mrs. Tingle, you if you actually support the show, you're gonna hear our B side at the end of the episode where we look back on our own teachers that we would have taught lessons to, or you know, some of the best teachers who taught us. But before we get there, who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_00 2:22

I had not heard of this ever until now, let alone seen it.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Yeah, I'm not far removed on that one. I only remembered this movie's existence because I actually recently read a book that covers the history and the making of the Scream franchise. So they mentioned it briefly in the book. So I'm actually shocked. I've never even seen this or heard of it before.

SPEAKER_02 2:43

I actually am shocked you haven't seen this, especially because we've talked so much about Kevin Williamson in the last few years with the Scream movies, with what he did for rewrites in the faculty, with what's coming up here with Scream 7, and then of course I Know What You Did Last Summer. But this is one that I didn't know about at all until we actually had one of our episodes. I believe it was on Scream 2 or the original time that we reviewed, I Know What You Did Last Summer. It also might have been the faculty, but there was this like perfect storm where we were doing a few of these late 90s slashers back to back to back. And one of our listeners actually shared with me that Kevin Williamson turned down directing the faculty to do this movie instead. So it's something that's been on my radar, something I wanted to get to at some point. But one of the things going into this, I knew that it had Helmirin, which was okay, how the hell we're gonna have Helamirin in a 90s slasher. So obviously it's not gonna be that violent, not that grotesque. I didn't look into the subgenre of it all. And this is one, folks, that if you're looking into this and you're wondering, is this a horror movie? Someone somewhere classified it as such on the internet, but your mileage may vary.

SPEAKER_00 3:55

I really like just reading the synopsis was failing to see how we were gonna get there. Like, where is the horror? Just previewing, not even watching it yet, trying to understand because all I was getting from any description of this was cheese, just pure cheesiness, just pure 1999 cheese.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Well, I didn't even read the synopsis. So I was going off of the cover, Kevin Williamson and the fact that we were reviewing it, so my mind and imagination was going wild. I didn't even know that Helen Marion was in this until she showed up. And I was like, oh shit, is this gonna be like a intense slasher, like passionate slasher with a crazy ass teacher? I don't know. But one thing I do know is with Kevin Williamson, I figured, okay, at the very least, this could be a good 90s comfort classic because most of his work is. If it's not Dawson's Creek, and this isn't 90s, but for me, it's like the vampire diaries. Now I'm talking television, but goddamn, what does he do that isn't great? And I so I figured, well, I mean, this is gonna be a little intense. I wasn't too sure how this was gonna get to the horror level below 30 minutes in.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

The title itself, it gives maybe it's a horror comedy leaning kind of situation. I'm thinking a late 90s version of don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. And so I thought maybe it'd go in that direction at best. But one of the things that also tripped me up about this was that Katie Holmes is in it. I don't know if y'all remember my opinions on Katie Holmes.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

I vaguely remember it us discussing it, but what was the verdict?

SPEAKER_02 5:29

The verdict was good for her for surviving Tom Cruise. I have no qualms with Katie Holmes as an idea, as a mother. I'm sure she's lovely. We saw her in The Boy, uh Brahms, The Boy 2. So she was in that. But my struggle with her is I didn't ever get into Dawson's Creek, so I didn't have this attachment to her. And then there was a movie in which she played, I believe, the president's daughter. She kept saying the word fucking home. There was something about the way that she presented herself in this role where it leans very much into like her character in this movie. This mousey, intelligent, but pure, very unassuming, very innocent. It radiated obnoxious in that movie. And so for so long, her work for me has been completely hit or miss.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

It's that's interesting. I I've never really had an issue with Katie Holmes, I don't think, personally. I mean, I wasn't the biggest 90s, early 2000s teen melodrama viewer. So I don't think I ever viewed her from like that lens at all. I think it was mostly just from the movies I had seen, but I just thought, okay, she's she's fine. You know, like that's not we're not mid, we're not, we're not to that point. It's just like I don't, I'm kind of ambivalent from that era. I think more recently I think she was in a Batman movie, if I remember correctly, and and I think I enjoyed that. So that was good.

SPEAKER_01 6:50

Poor Katie Holmes. I feel like she's the epitome of safe, much like this movie, I think. Like it's interesting how the whole, I don't want to say era, but the decisions behind casting people continuously in the same kinds of roles, that typecast, right? Like she is typecasted in these very safe, dare I say vanilla roles, type A girl who really needs to be pushed out of her shell and like at the point of no return. And so with that kind of typecast, it would have been very interesting to see this movie push that to the limit. Like, I really want to see a character that's like that, very type A crack. And I don't know if we really get that to its fullest extent. You mentioned earlier, Chris, like it's very clear that this movie had the intentions of having a darker tone, but was drained of it, right? It's I I can see the reasoning and the rationale behind it most certainly, but damn, what could have been? You know, and I at least felt that throughout the movie. Aside from the first 30 minutes, where I'm like, wait a minute, this is a horror movie? After that, it's like, okay, we're getting comedy a little bit. Okay, damn, Helen Marin is doing her thing, but could have been more intense and more intimidating. The even the thriller aspect of it wasn't quite there. I think they may have drained it a little bit too much, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_02 8:17

For sure. This movie is the definition of sanitized. Any ounce of personality beyond how well acted it is in its roles is just completely void of any semblance of identity in one particular genre. This is just another 90s teen movie. That's really what it comes down to. And that was my biggest feeling. It was this sensation of oh, I'm waiting for the potential that I know this has because again, Helen Miren in this movie is fantastic. Katie Holmes actually does a good job. The uh supporting roles in this movie lend enough comedy and a little bit more complexity to some of its characters, but it doesn't do enough with it. And that's disappointing for me.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Yeah, they really lacked the bite of something like disturbing behavior just from the year before. I mean, she was involved in that as well, Katie Holmes. And so it's it's weird to go from that to this because this movie doesn't exactly know what it wants to be, I don't think. But like as you're getting into it, like this cast is to die for. I mean, you mentioned being surprised by Helen Mirenbanks, and you're like, yeah, this is this is great that she's in this, and Jeffrey Campbell's in this, and interesting. Okay, lots of cool names showing up, lots of cool faces that we remember from from the 90s to the 2000s, and even still today. But the kids, the teens in this movie, they're really dumb. There's a lot of cringe moments, but at least it's lighthearted, but is it too lighthearted? Is this a horror movie? Is this a thriller? Is this a comedy? Because if it's a comedy, it's not quite hitting. I don't really know where they're going with it, I think, for the most part. You know, I can see kind of where things are headed slightly, but like as like an attitude. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it has going on.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

And I think also you brought up a good point about even the comedy too, because what's so fascinating is that if we want to say that they were trying to pull back any potential influence of violence, right? And and keep it really PG13 borderline sterile, I would have thought that maybe comedy or romance would replace it. But those genres also weren't really very strong. And so it's so interesting. I don't really know why they didn't lean into at least the humor when there were so many great comedies in the 90s, you know, especially in the late 90s. So a lot of it felt like we didn't go back to the drawing board to pick a genre and stick to it and really put our eggs in that basket because you could very much just be a thriller or like a dark comedy and have the same premise, but like really be funny or lean into the romance of it, but they didn't really know what to pick, and so everything just got washed out instead.

SPEAKER_02 11:05

Which is honestly such a discredit to Kevin Williamson. I mean, this man was cooking with his screenwriting all the way through. And if you have a film that is in progress and is so heavily influenced or overshadowed or marred by a real life tragedy like Columbine, maybe it's best to just put it on ice for a while. I guess it's like the sunk time fallacy. Okay, well, I spent this so much time doing it that I have to see it through. And obviously, when it comes to studio pictures, there are budgets, there's money, there's livelihoods, there's jobs on the line for this stuff. So you can't always shelve things. But it does make me wonder what could have been had we got the movie that was originally envisioned. Again, going back to that potential. This is another moment of Chris Rojas falling in love with potential. It is what it is. Because I was surprised, despite how watered down it feels, it manages to be just interesting enough for me to see the vision, to get it, and to not have a bad time with it overall. I wish it played more into the existential horror and dread that we end up seeing from characters later on in the movie. I think if that was put up more up front, it could have been a little bit more interesting.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

You bring up a good point that it's interesting in its ability to kind of keep you wanting to see what actually happens because as you're watching it, you're thinking, this is ludicrous. This is absolutely ridiculous and so silly, but not quite slapstick. They could have gone there, they could have gone completely off the rails silly, but they didn't. So you're waiting to see, are they gonna land this plane in a really serious way, in a really dark comic way, but but not? And so yeah, it kind of strings you along because you're hoping, you're hoping that they're able to do something interesting with it, but but are they? That's I guess the question that we'll we'll answer here shortly. But yeah, I think the the disappointments here are a few, mostly in in the plot and the story, because I think it's it is meandering, and it also doesn't seem like it makes sense or has a point to it, really. But the surprises are great. I mean, we've talked about the cast, great surprise there. The moments where it's a hundred percent teen melodrama with the soundtrack accompanying is amazing. Those those moments are just they're they're great because it almost screams like a spoof in those moments. Like you're you're in the you're in the mood. They're looking into each other's eyes. We've got the soft music from from the late 90s in the background. It's it's giving Dawson's Creek, but it's not Dawson's Creek. It would have worked perfectly had it been a bit sillier on purpose because you'd be like, oh, I see what they're doing. They're really kind of playing at all the other stuff that was hot at the time, but it doesn't seem like it was deliberate. It just seems like, oh, this is what teens want.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Oh, Mac, no, that was super fucking Dawson's Creek.

SPEAKER_00 13:50

It absolutely was, you know, but it it doesn't seem like they did it on purpose. It really seems like they landed there accidentally because they were trying to fit in, not because they were making fun of themselves in any sort of way.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

It's for me, it read as though you get into a space in your life where let's say you're stepping up and you're trying an elevated version of your job where you're a little bit out of your depth, you're learning, you're adjusting. And I'm not saying that Kevin Williamson was, but I think the circumstances force you into a really precarious situation here. But imagine in this realm you are going from being an individual contributor to having someone to being someone who has a little bit more responsibility. And instead of you building skill in the having more responsibility and working through others, you just regress into your comfort zone and then you go back to being an individual contributor. That's what this movie reminded me of. Because at its moments where we could have gone another direction, it fell back into the comfort zone of Dawson's Creek in just 90s teen movies and walked away in the complete opposite direction of a movie that I think would have been more worthy of its original premise.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

But it was right there, it was right on the verge, leaving us ready for some actual horror. They could have sprinkled it in, they could have caught us off guard in those soft, gentle moments, right? And just punched us in the face with some kind of jump scare or something, but they didn't.

SPEAKER_02 15:21

Are you saying they were edging us?

SPEAKER_00 15:22

They were definitely, right? So they were getting us real ready, right up to the edge, and then took it nowhere.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

But not like a good time though, because some people might be into that. And I don't know if this is the kind of edging that I would sign up for if I knew. You know what I'm saying? Because like I completely am with you, Mac. I'm telling you that I was watching this trying to prepare myself for a jump scare at any moment. I was preparing for one of these characters to completely flip their shit. Helen Miran specifically. But the best way I can put this is that this movie is like in the negative zero, like beyond like negative 50 in terms of fear. There is nothing to fear here, not a single bit.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

I think you can fear what it looks like to not realize your own potential. Like this movie? Yeah, it's a little meta in that, right? It's a little meta in that right. But I do think this movie introduces, and I when I say introduces, oh my gosh, I mean that in such such a generous way that takes a lot of liberty with the word fear. But it does introduce this idea of who are you going to become? What is your fate? What is your future? And when you'll finally arrive 30, 40 years in the future, what is going to be your vision looking backwards at those who are coming after you? And again, we'll talk about that in the spoiler zone. And I think we'll also get into it in our B-side when we talk about our own experiences with some teachers. But I think that in itself was an interesting note. And I wish it had gotten a little bit stronger execution as we even wound down into the end of this movie.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

We've mentioned kind of how all over the place this movie is, and I think Chris, you've mentioned several properties here that this relates to, but this is truly one night at Don't Tell Mom, the Seventh Heavens, Dawson's Creek. Such a mixed bag. And so when you have something like that and you're not paying homage to those things, you're just kind of, I don't know, smushing it all together. It's not a great ride. You know, it it it rides like a PT cruiser from 20 years ago, not like a brand new one where you're like kind of like this is neat because it's different. No, it it it doesn't feel it doesn't feel great. And so yeah, that ride all the way from start to finish is it's wonky.

SPEAKER_01 17:33

For me, it's that I just really can't help but wonder, and it's gonna keep me up at night, what this could have been in terms of this movie was written to an extent, right? Like it was written before he even did Scream. What we could have had, you know? And even if it wasn't so intense or dark, right? Let's just imagine a world in which I'm with you, Chris, in terms of I like the idea of teachers, kind of that influence and being in the classroom, that those pressures that you're in, the relationships that you have with your parents, that pressure of being someone, of getting yourself into a better better school, a better life in the future for your family, for yourself, and what teachers kind of do or their role in your life to facilitate that. And that is so adaptable in any genre. So I'm I'm mega curious about that. But I think that's kind of where the book stops, right? With this, and I think down to the ending, honestly, I felt like it's full circle, sure. We get that somewhat closure. There is a little bit of comedy that did land for me in particular. But at the end of the ride, I'm like, man, if I watched this casually, just throwing it on without the expectation of us maybe having to do an episode for it or having any inclination or expectation that this might have been a quote unquote horror. Maybe I would have felt a little bit different at the end of the road, but it just felt pretty generic and safe once I reached that end.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

And and what was that end? Because the end to me seems like the punchline, except they didn't tell us the joke.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

The end is the most disappointing release from an entire film spent building up this inevitable train of how could this possibly resolve itself well? It's messy, it's a messy movie, it's a messy situation, and then you think it would demand a very grandiose ending, but instead it just putters out into nothing. It's like imagine you're in a car and you're traveling down a long road and you're on this journey, this destination is someplace you've always wanted to go, you have a big vision for it, it's gonna be an amazing trip, but also you forgot to fill up the fucking gas tank. So you just putter out very slowly until you're no longer in motion, and that's what the end of this movie felt like.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

I will say, compared to some modern properties, at least they thought every character deserved to have some kind of ending for them. Some other, you know, some other properties these days they just go, they're dead. Or we we don't even have to tell you whether or not they're dead because we don't care. It doesn't matter, we got our money. Here they were like, well, they call them the aristocrats. That's really what we're getting here at the end is dun. It's over now, folks. You can leave the theater, pick up your popcorn. What a what a way to go.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

Well, I can't wait to see how all this manifests into some actual ratings here. But before we actually score it, Mac, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_00 20:27

No, that's how I I describe it as just no, there's none. It's clean.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Cool, cool, tight tight. What about you, Binks? What about the animal report?

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Well, this is definitely gonna be a great animal report. We are absolutely safe. And actually, I want to add a little tidbit here and say there's a mega cute pup alert. So if you really want to see a cute pup, this is the one, folks.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

On this, the day that Indy the dog wins an award for his performance in Good Boy? What a time to be alive. What a time to be alive. But let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. Teaching Mrs. Tingle from 1999. Is it a hack or a slash?

SPEAKER_00 21:06

What in the actual Harvey Weinstein was the point of this movie? Okay. Yes, I get it. Helen Murra knows how to act, but like the plot is aimless and ludicrous. The characters are about as deep as a kiddie pool. This honestly, this is not horror. It's kind of almost a thriller, but mostly a teen melodrama, I think. Aside from when we put teens in awkward positions with adults sexually and otherwise, I don't know. It's really confusing. I did enjoy the nostalgia of being back with a 1999 soundtrack with a 1999 cast. But aside from that, this is just a bad movie. Okay. It's it's a hack.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

That was really funny, Mac. I listen, I don't really know how to go about this one because at least for me, I thought it was an okay movie. Okay, like I can see how this was fun in the 90s. And I've already shared, I certainly love Kevin Williamson's writing and his work. I think this is good for a directorial debut, all things considering, especially the T that was happening around this time when it came to Scream. I'll tell you that much. So I think that it's not terrible, but for the sake of the podcast, right? And as far as calling this a horror, I'm definitely struggling because I don't think it's anywhere near that. I actually would argue that this is barely even a thriller or suspenseful. It's not really completely one thing. I think it reads as a funny scenario that they find themselves in. I think that Mrs. Tingle as a character is really fun and intriguing. And I wish that she was certainly way more sinister, especially with it being Helen Mirren playing her. But at the end of the day, the best way to summarize this is that I think that the film leaves a lot to be desired. It wasn't terrible, but honestly, it certainly felt a bit of a letdown. So for that, I'm gonna have to give it a hack.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

I believe that within the original premise and the direction of this movie, therein lies a fantastic movie. Therein lies a fantastic movie. I truly believe that. And I want to be clear that I don't even think this movie is a bad movie. I think it's super watchable. I think it's super easy. It's very easy to digest. And if you want to throw on a movie and just have some good 90s nostalgia, this is not a bad way to go. Unfortunately for it, within the context of this podcast, if you're looking for a 90s horror movie, this is not the way to go. And it's deeply unfortunate because Kevin Williamson, you can tell, has a great premise here, a great idea, a great foundation upon which to build. And the cast in this movie is actually really fucking good. So while I am going to give this movie a very specific rating, I don't in any way want to discourage you from actually watching it separately. Just don't go in expecting it to be a great horror movie. Let's just cool your jets. I think we're all pretty jazzed generally about the idea of doing this, knowing that Kevin Williamson's next director's credit is going to be in theaters in just a little bit over a month. And I'm so confident he's gonna do phenomenal work with Scream 7 with all the controversy that is just tied to that franchise now. But this movie in itself is a solid 90s movie, but it's still a hack for me. And with that, teaching Mrs. Tingle in 1999 has her new universal hack. Now, you can find this movie available for rent or to stream online. Either way, join us in the second half so we can actually break down the spoilers for this film. I'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_00 24:50

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SPEAKER_02 26:09

Now we have a lot to unpack here, but before we get into the specifics of our ratings, let's go through what should have been kills, but just we're a whole lot of nothing.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

That's right. We have a fake out and we have the possibility of kills. That's what we're given. Possibility.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Emphasis on potential and possibility. I really thought, damn, the kill, the one and only kill, is at the very end of this movie, and then we didn't even get that.

SPEAKER_02 26:36

Would it have changed things for you? I mean, no, it still would have been a hack, but goddamn, at least it would have been like, I don't know, a C. Hear me out. I think if this movie committed to its ending and really stuck with it, this would have turned it around for me for sure. But knowing what happened in the world and in the United States and why this movie needed to change so much, I get not doing that. But here's what I would offer we love Molly Ringwald's character. Bring her in as the person who's checking instead of the student. Bring her in or their principal and have Helen Miren kill the principal and commit to it. The horror on her face, the shock on her face. She really sold the moment where she believed she killed someone, and it was like a devastating moment for her. Let's fucking live in that.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

I honestly thought we were gonna get a crowd behind this student. I thought it was gonna be like 10 people who just saw it happen and saw the crossbow in her hand, and she was just gonna like completely break down and then whether or not it was real or not, I wasn't sure. But like I I thought for a fact there's gonna be someone looking through that door, having seen, having witnessed what occurred, and that's gonna destroy her. And instead, no, she's alive. It's as if she was hit with like a rubber arrow.

SPEAKER_01 27:53

Here's where I struggle. To be honest, the problem also is that Mrs. Tingle wasn't that freaking terrible, okay? She wasn't that much of a bitch to warrant dying, okay? If she had been the main guy from Heretic, like that kind of level of smart senile craziness and manipulative to that degree, then okay, yes. But like she's just a bitch that really just didn't want to give you a damn A and she was giving you a hard time and maybe was a little bit too savage. But at that point, you had already tied her to her bed and held her hostage. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 28:30

I mean, yeah, the real crime of this movie is making the implication that Mrs. Tingle deserved this because she deserved a lot of frustration, a lot of anger. She deserved to be severely reprimanded and held accountable for her practices, especially if she is grading based on bias and perception as opposed to the earned grade that's completely unprofessional. But also, these people legitimately just broke into her fucking home, caused all this shit, ruined her career, and then also got away with it.

SPEAKER_00 29:03

Yeah, I want to know how that all went down. She just gave up at the very end. She just looked around and said, It's not like I have a ton of proof I was just kidnapped. And honestly, there was attempted murder. So, you know, come on, y'all. What are we doing here? She could have just said, okay, sorry that happened. I'm gonna go to the police now and file a report. But apparently she was too embarrassed. It doesn't really make sense. And no, she didn't, she didn't deserve to be killed. You know, I I don't exactly know why they just immediately went, okay, now we have to tie her up and just keep going with this, versus like, oh my gosh, we're so sorry. Like get her to a hospital, call an emt, like get her, get her taken care of, taken care of. But I just goodness, it didn't, it didn't like make sense. That was like the first place where I'm like, the logic of these teens is so broken. They're so dumb. And they deserve to not be valedictorian. Not a single one of them deserved to be valedictorian here. But I think the thing that truly deserved to be valedictorian, there was a shot of the outside of her amazing house in the dark at night. Might have been raining, not quite sure. And that shot showed me the future. That shot said, this is what's possible for Teen Slashers right here. It says, We've seen Scream, we know you've seen it, but look, here's what we can do. There was like a lighting, it almost looked like it almost looked like a miniature, but it's not. It's a real house. This this house is so ominous and big and kind of regal in a way that she lives in. It is very kind of fitting for her. And it showed the way. It showed that that it had the capacity for growth and to be something bigger than it was. It just didn't know how to capitalize on it.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

Man, we're on the same wavelength because that house, ooh, what a beaut, man. She listen, she had to have been making some crazy ass money as a teacher. I mean, it's I I don't even know how you get a house that big and how beautiful, but we're gonna move past that because I don't care at this rate. I just wanted to see how beautiful that house was, and thank you so much for giving it to me. Where is that house now? Is it in other films? It needs its own star, its own film, it needs to be the moment.

SPEAKER_00 31:06

I can tell you how she afforded it. So she's been there for 20 years teaching, right? So she probably bought her house when it was, I don't know, like 500 bucks and a couple of box tops, you know, back in the day.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

What a dream.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Right? 2% interest, yeah. The good times.

SPEAKER_02 31:21

Oh, you know, the economy that we can't survive in anymore.

SPEAKER_00 31:24

Oh gosh, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 31:25

You know, the house was gorgeous. Some great cinematography in this movie for sure. But for me, it was the set design and the inside of the house because how quintessentially 90s, which feels like such a dumb and obvious thing to say, it feels like it really reduces this whole movie. But something that I loved was even though this felt very quintessentially 90s, it still doesn't feel like so long ago. This doesn't feel like a particularly difficult place to believe that you're in. And aside from the mismatch of career to house, because that pipeline is severely unrealistic, teachers deserve so much more than they're currently compensated. But what I appreciate in this movie is even less of just the overarching theory of the design and and how this movie is like furnished, but more so about how lived in it feels, especially when we get into her bedroom and we get into my favorite scene, which is her waking up from being tied up. And honestly, a lot of the moments that we get between her and Leanne's friend, Joe Lynn, who just wants to be an actor, their petty clapbacks back and forth the entire time were fucking hilarious. But it was specifically her waking up and then peering over the bed and just see you he you see Miss Stingle's eyes just gazing back into her. A, it was a big oh shit moment, and had this movie had any kind of fear in it, I think that gaze itself would have been one of those jump scares. But looking at how this entire bedroom is set up, to know that this poor woman is tied to her own fucking bed, there's just something about it that that really stood out to me, and in a sense of like, oh, I can imagine this being my mom's bedroom in the 90s.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Really did enjoy the inside, especially the little lived-in spaces. You know, they're downstairs feeding the dog whatever the dog wants to eat, and the fridge feels like a real fridge. It feels like it has crap in there that people would snack on. Even the peanut butter, the pickles. I forget what else he was offering the dog, sour cream. I'm sure you could go to the grocery store and just stock the fridge up, but it didn't feel like that. They really did a good job of making it feel lived in. And there is something like you're you're going through this home of hers, and it's it's grandiose, it's definitely over the top, but it does feel like okay, this is in the scream universe. It's the richer part of the scream universe somehow, but like it's still related as they're as they're walking through.

SPEAKER_02 33:46

It's so much part of the scream universe that when you look up this movie on Amazon Prime, the image is from a scream film. L-O-L.

SPEAKER_00 33:53

That's cheating.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

It's too good. Is it cheating or is it smart? I don't know.

unknown 33:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

I will say that's a good scene to pick because Helen Mirren's acting in this film is phenomenal as it always is. And I think another great moment of acting that is probably completely the opposite because it's over the top, it's the exorcist reenactment. That scene is beautiful. It's just so good because it comes kind of out of nowhere. And we get it that she's practicing her acting and she's practicing her voices, but to commit so hard to that and to like completely I mean, what was that? Like a five-minute clip of the exorcist that she was performing? Jolin, girl, go. Like you're you're really nailing the voice thing.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

I also loved the hell out of that scene. I gotta say, that's probably the scene that categorizes this as horror because she nailed it. It was hilarious. And the best part is the cute ass dog doing the little head tilt out of confusion. Cullen does the same thing when I'm doing something crazy or you see something off base on TV. It's just adorable. I loved it, loved every single moment. She was bored as hell. And not to say that I was, but like it was one of those moments where I was like, this changed it up a little bit, which I greatly appreciated.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

You know, I'm actually even just thinking about this entire movie. And while I know that Leanne was our main character, I absolutely loved Joel Lynn and she stole the show for me. Jolynn, the dog, Helen Miran. Top three players in this whole thing. Absolutely. Could have been the only players.

SPEAKER_00 35:23

Three people or three beings whose motivations seemed fairly clear and well defined. They tried to kind of muddy the waters for Mrs. Tingle, but it was like she's just having a good time giving the kids a bad time. For whatever reason, that's what she's out here doing. She's being that teacher because she can. And that just she didn't need a reason. We didn't need a backstory for it. We didn't need to know why. We just understood, I think, from the very beginning, she's just that person. And they didn't really like go deeper with it at all. They tried to, like, oh, you know, because she couldn't break free. We don't care. All right. She gets to do that because she knows how to act it. The dog was just there for the ride, whichever way it was going. Hanging out with the with the kidnappers, hanging out with his with his mom. He did not care. And Jolene, Jolyn was just, she was there to act. Whether it was for them or on the big screen, she had one goal in mind and stuck to it. Everybody else was a bit confused about why they were doing what they were doing.

SPEAKER_02 36:21

I mean, it's dumb kids doing dumb things, but I will I will say at least this. I loved the moment that Jolyn sides with Mrs. Tingle, grabs a crossbow, knocks her ass out, and then says something to the effect of acknowledging that Mrs. Tingle has been taunting her this entire time saying that she can't act.

SPEAKER_01 36:42

I loved it. It was like one boss ass bitch finally having it out with another one. Because I think that Jolyn was very much underestimated throughout the whole film, and at least she had a little bit of a moment to bite back. So I was here for it. I also want to take this opportunity to say that I know we have this category now at the end of the year, awards about did it all for the nookie. Luke, sir, I I don't even know what to say about you. Okay. You're doing the most and you're doing a lot, and you got a cute face. But if you really thought that you were gonna win this girl over, and I guess what's crazy is that you somewhat did, how? I don't even know because that doesn't make any sense to me. That's for damn sure. But whatever. I think it's like you thought that doing this, doing a lot, doing the extreme, to the point where now you have to tie up the teacher to win this girl over. It would get you the nookie, and it did. What does this tell men? I'm afraid.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

Yeah, it really plays so dangerously on the if he wanted to, he would. If he wanted to help my career, he'd go to my boss's house and demand a promotion, take a crossbow to him. No, Luke is well-intending, well-meaning, but severely misguided and does not belong in the same category or league as Leanne. Not because he himself as a person is unworthy, but because he lacks the fundamental understanding of just emotional intelligence and maturity to recognize why they didn't work. Because all of this is his fucking fault. Sure, it's Ms. Tingle's fault. It is 100% Mrs. Tingle's fault for being unprofessional and doing what she did and being the menace that she was in that environment. 1000%. However, from the most practical perspective, none of this would have happened if this motherfucker hadn't stolen the exam and then also insisted on putting it back in her hands.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

I agree. Because the truth is, is that let's say, in like a real world example, okay, not to say that there aren't Mrs. Tingles out there, but there are certainly some teachers out there where they are just really intense graders, you know, it's not that they're being assholes, it's just that they really are to the T, like the metrics are right there, right? And who's to say that this kind of scenario wouldn't happen with a teacher like that, too? You know? So a hundred percent. Luke, to an extent, bro, you are culpable. That is for sure. But Leanne, damn it, you also, my girl, I don't even understand you because you're very type A, classic trope, of course. But it really took just one little comment from Mrs. Tingle for you all of a sudden to betray your best friend and pull some shit like that for a guy that you didn't even care three shits about.

SPEAKER_02 39:42

I don't what? I don't understand that. Absolutely waffle move. Waffling, straddling both sides of the fence at the same time because she doesn't want to pick where she wants to land. That is something that really irks me about her character. I think one of the other things, I'm just thinking about all of the dynamics in this. One, teachers don't get enough credit. And I think we don't generally say that as like a fucking platitude, but it absolutely devastates me to no end that even in South Florida, so they're just pushing kids through this pipeline. We need teachers, not to the lack of professionalism and absolute menace that Mrs. Tingle is, but we need people with high standards. So if you watch this movie right now and you're thinking, Oh yeah, my teacher sucks, no, fuck that. Your teacher probably didn't actually suck. You're probably your teacher probably was doing their job and wanted you to be a functioning adult and a productive member of society, which I can appreciate. Justice for Mrs. Tingle.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

However, she was definitely harassing the kids in her in her class 100%. Yeah. Not not professional. Like you've mentioned, she was not a not a good professional teacher. You know, having high standards is a good thing, but you definitely should focus perhaps on the actual teaching part, like helping the kids get to where they need to be. You know, when when I was in my first English course in in college, I went to school with folks who had never written a five-paragraph essay. And that was that really caught me off guard. It was like taking freshman of high school English again, but in college, and it's like, all right, this is just how we're how we're gonna roll now. And so no, you want to you want to get to a point where we're ensuring a high standard of education. And I don't know what the education's like in this particular city or county that that this is set in, and that's that's okay. But it doesn't warrant harassment. That's that's the part where I think I I draw the line. That being said, other members of the faculty and sapphir were fantastic. Miss Gold, solid. Miss Banks, fantastic, but also just to go back to those two, Vivica A. Fox and Molly Ringwold in this film. What? How and why? But I'm glad we got it.

SPEAKER_02 41:43

You know, there's so many things, and I I know that I hacked this movie, obviously, but I still didn't have a terrible time watching it. If I wanted to watch Pretty in Pink and then watch Teaching Mrs. Tingle to see the Molly Ringwold pipeline, that'd be perfectly fine for me. And I will say that I think its cast might be the best part of this movie. I do want to give one more mention of a fucking worse part, and that is the Dawson's Creek music moment that we get when Leanne decides to just jump Luke's bones by the fireplace. Oh my gosh, when that music started playing, I thought, where is the commercial break? Where's a commercial break? Where's Johnson? It just was driving me absolutely nuts. And I'm so glad that we don't get that same effect in most modern movies now.

SPEAKER_00 42:32

I am too. I do wish it was done on purpose for comedy's sake. Like I wish this was a campier film because I think it would have worked had it been really campy and like sloppy and silly. You know, if you're gonna if you're gonna do that, just make it ridiculous. But no, that was that was bad. But you know, I I think you mentioned the casting here, really solid part of this film, for sure. It's hard to think. I think of a lot of like really, really good parts to it. The acting is something that we've mentioned. Aside from the casting, we get a couple standout moments, and that's mostly due to Helen Miren, because she delivers some monologues here with layers to it where she's able to act as the character. That makes sense. Like the character's putting on an act, and that's impressive. The character's paying attention to the subtle cues, and it's not subtle, right? Like we're zooming in on somebody's like hand movements or something, so it's like in your face, but her eye movements, her facial expressions, her noticing, her changing her tone. It's expert level work here. And this could almost stand as like, all right, put this on screen and teach some people how to do it because it's just so good. And it it for me was like probably the best part of the film just watching her work.

SPEAKER_02 43:48

I love that so much. Can we just have a moment to appreciate some of her greatest hits of dialogue in this movie? Would that be acceptable?

SPEAKER_01 43:56

Absolutely, because that's my best part is definitely. The one-liners, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 44:02

I'm well aware of what irony is, Ms. Watson. You, however, should consult your dictionary. I absolutely love that, and I want to channel that. Anytime someone says a word that they clearly don't fucking understand what it means. I think that is that is gonna be a big one for me.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

That is very U-coded, actually. So you most certainly should do that. Channel that energy big time.

SPEAKER_02 44:21

There's another moment where this kid also, what the fuck? Is it ended up with him firing a crossbow in a classroom? I completely forgot about how wild and out of pocket that moment was. But she's saying, Don't tease us, Mr. Barry, when you shoot make account. He said, It wasn't. I mean, I didn't think that. And she said, No, because that would require a cerebrum and a few other missing parts. She was fucking dragging people, which I absolutely loved.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

No, that we're not supposed to really love Mrs. Tangle, but I feel like this movie ultimately really just forced us. It forced our hand because tell me though, tell me that's not incredible. Tell me that's not a great line.

SPEAKER_02 45:01

And this little Diddy, who do you think you're fooling? You're so scared I can smell it. Your fear is the most predictable thing about you. You've lived your whole life in fear. Terrified of making a mistake, scared to death you won't get that A, that ticket out, afraid you'll never escape your mother and her name tag. Or your father who won't return your calls. That's why you shun Luke and every other boy who has ever tried to put his hands on you. You're afraid of getting that bad seed, afraid of giving birth to a child you never wanted. A child you can only blame for your own wretched existence. Stuck in a small town with a small name, destined to become that very thing you despise most. I know all about it, Leanne. I wrote the book, I know you. What the fuck? Like an incredible moment. An incredible moment in this movie.

SPEAKER_01 45:42

Okay. I guess after being dragged to that capacity, you want to do something extreme and the polar opposite of it. But I still don't know how that gets you hot and dirty to fuck somebody that you really weren't even interested in to begin with. More importantly, as someone who is very loyal, more importantly, someone that you know your best friend likes. That's some crazy behavior. And I want to go back to what you said in terms of that musical cue and that scene in entirely because I just remembered when I was making our cards, you know, for prepping us for this episode, and I picked a particular cover image, I realized it was the gif of that scene. And I now remember thinking, damn, I wonder if like Katie Holmes is actually the villain and she's gonna kill somebody while having sex. Can you tell me that this would have been incredible?

SPEAKER_02 46:32

You mean if Katie Holmes was Jennifer Check in Mrs. Tingle?

SPEAKER_01 46:37

Yes, absolutely, yes.

SPEAKER_00 46:39

Yeah, they could have turned it into a horror film if she like you know cleaned up the loose ends. It would have worked.

SPEAKER_02 46:43

Okay, so what we need is to re-watch this movie in a triple feature. You ready for this? The faculty? Jennifer's body teaching Mrs. Tingle.

SPEAKER_01 46:52

I'm ready. I think that ending it with teaching Mrs. Tingle, that may not make sense for a lot of people, but hear me out. I think it's important because it's a very quick ride up and you need to kind of simmer back down to the bottom. And you need the context and the character development to ride into teaching Mrs. Tingle. If you do it too early, you're gonna be a little pissed off and you're not gonna want to continue with the marathon.

SPEAKER_00 47:16

Even in that mixture though, I don't I don't think I could do it again, though. I don't think even with those kind of neighbors nearby that I it would be a good time for me. I think I'll just I just judge it so much. That's the problem I have, is I'm so judgmental of this film.

SPEAKER_01 47:31

That's fair though. I don't know if I'm that intense about it. I think if someone for some reason was down for it and wanted to see it, sure. If I was sick, maybe I'd throw it on. I think it's more of the Helen Mirrin of it all, or if I wanted to do some crazy Kevin Williamson like binge of all of his stuff, you know, why not? I don't think it's bad enough where I wouldn't re-watch it, but I don't think I would rewatch it certainly anytime soon. It ha would have to be a happenstance because for sure the wind has been taken out of my sails with this one.

SPEAKER_02 48:02

It is a bit of a disappointment, but for now, there you have it, folks. Teaching Mrs. Tingle has earned a universal hack. Although not a completely horrible movie, just disappointing within the context of it being positioned allegedly as a horror film.

SPEAKER_00 48:19

Now we've certainly had a robust discussion here, but the conversation doesn't end here by any means.com slash hackerslash. This is where you can enjoy even more of the show, including bonus content with early access, extended episodes with RB sides, movie nominations, and live shows.