301: Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

SPEAKER_06 0:04

I see you, you don't see me. I'm hidden with my telephoto lens up in the tree. You walk in, you look around suspiciously. Spooky season greetings and salutations and welcome to Hack or Slash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Why don't you stay the night? If this is your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack.

SPEAKER_12 0:31

A total joke, a waste of time, or a slash. Totally killer, pun intended.

SPEAKER_06 0:36

We believe horror is for everyone, and as such, we're rating these movies with a perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast, and this week I'm joined by the superfly space guy Mac.

SPEAKER_12 0:49

Her whole body was shaking.

SPEAKER_06 0:51

The classic horror connoisseur Sean.

SPEAKER_12 0:53

Mikey and I like it in the car.

SPEAKER_06 0:55

The paranormal paramour. Binks. What am I doing? I hate cats. In nuestra amiga de los muentos, vero. Take me, but spare my friend. She's a virgin. This week we're commemorating the spooky holiday by revisiting an iconic franchise featuring none other than the boogeyman himself. Before we get down to business though, we have some follow-up.

SPEAKER_11 1:14

Let's follow up on some stuff. We want to give you an update on the new blood drive. Today, October 31st, that's the last day of our new blood drive. So if you join our premium tier today and stick around with us, we're gonna send you one of our six anniversary posters. But we've got some new patrons. Austin and Kathy, you have joined at just the right time. The party is just getting started. Thank you and welcome to the family.

SPEAKER_06 1:36

So good to have you both. Hope you're getting cozy. Hope you're comfortable. Hope you have the spooky spirit in you all year long.

SPEAKER_11 1:41

And that's our follow-up.

SPEAKER_06 1:43

Well, now that the Blumhouse trilogy is complete, we're traveling back to 1989 to check out the second entry in what's considered the Thorn trilogy of this franchise. This week's film continues the story of Rachel, Jamie, her mass serial killer uncle, and the quiet town of Haddonfield that's become home to a legacy of horror. When last we visited this timeline, the shape was hunting down his seven-year-old niece, and Rachel and Jamie had narrowly escaped the shape's murderous rampage. This week, we're one year from the events from that night, and now mute Jamie has to try to survive her uncle once more. This week we're talking about Halloween 5, The Revenge of Michael Myers. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_04 2:20

Who hasn't seen this one before?

SPEAKER_06 2:22

Plenty of people, apparently.

SPEAKER_04 2:24

I just feel like it's one of those franchises that like you've probably watched numerous times, or or maybe it's just me, I don't know. I'm not saying that all of the movies in the Halloween franchise are like great or like you need to go watch them now, but I just feel like I always find myself going through this franchise. I used to have all of the Halloween movies on my Halloween movie list, but I have since like thinned it out a bit, trying to bring it down to a list of 31. This one is no longer on the list, however, it snuck back in this year.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

You know what? I'm gonna be honest here. I for some reason did not realize how much I didn't need to watch this movie again until I sat down to watch it. And I was like, wait a minute, what the hell is happening? Because I love Halloween, I watch them all the time. I got a bunch of merch, but really I feel like I only go to three, four. I love Halloween three. I'm a weirdo, I know. It's good, it's so good. But holy shit, five got me not in a good way, not in a good way, my friends. But have I seen it? Yes. Well, I watch it again, yes, probably, but yeah, I was pissed. It made me mad. I'm angry talking about it. So I'm gonna be a spicy Latina probably this entire hour.

SPEAKER_08 3:36

Well, where there's one spicy Latina, you can definitely anticipate there be another because I have to be honest just as much as you are. The thing about me though, I I don't think I've actually had the opportunity to really share this. It's that I'm not the biggest Halloween franchise fan to begin with. I like the first one, and that's kind of where it ends for me, and I don't have any problems with it, but it's just not my thing. I find most of the movies to be just a smidge, boring, just a smidge. And what's happened is that I made the bold choice to watch Halloween four, because I don't think I've ever actually seen it. Uh, we're not reviewing that one, and thank God that we're not, because I absolutely despised it. So going into five, I was like, oh fuck, this has to be better, right? And then it wasn't, but it's okay. I'm surprised that this is my first watch of this, but I'm also not because if it had been my second time watching this, I probably wouldn't have been as thrilled to discuss.

SPEAKER_06 4:33

Hold on, before we get the Latino in here, let's get a less spicy Latina in the mix. Listen, y'all. I've seen this movie what feels like hundreds of times. Even if you haven't really consciously paid attention to everything in this franchise, I guarantee you've seen parts of this movie on AMC Fear Fest. You absolutely fucking have. This is something that I watch every single year because for my favorite franchise, I have the obligatory timeline crawl where I watch every fucking timeline of this franchise at some point during October. But let me just get this out of the way here and now. If Rob Zombie's Halloween movies didn't exist, this movie and one other would be towards the bottom of my rankings. And I'm not gonna, you know, completely spoil my feelings or my scoring either way, but let's not have any illusions that I'm about to go fucking hard for Halloween five, like I go for Halloween 1978.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

Let's just get that out there. I just needed him to return. That's it. Like, bro, just needed to return. I needed, did not need the revenge. Let's just say that. Fucking return and like pause. I do want a disclaimer. I fucking love Daniel Harris. If I liked females, she would be my female. I've met her at horror conventions, she's a lovely human being. I absolutely love her, but fuck. I was like, man, I don't remember. Maybe there's like a baby V that watched this so long ago, but I probably haven't seen this in like over a decade. So watching it, it felt like it was for the first time. But man.

SPEAKER_11 6:10

Well, I I guess I'm the only one who gets to say I have not seen this movie before, at least in its entirety. I feel like I've I might have seen clips from it previously. I am on the Halloween four episodes, so you can hear my thoughts about that movie there. But you know, I going into the movie, I really didn't know what to expect. I kind of forgot about part four until I went back and like watched a trailer to remember like, wait, did I cover this? What was it about? So going into this one, I just figured, like, oh, okay, we're just gonna stray even more from parts one and two. You know, I was not kind to Season of the Witch. I was not kind. And these two movies are headed in a direction that make me think maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if we were in an anthology series for a little bit longer. I don't want to spoil my review like the rest of you apparently have, but it's just every step we take, we get just a little bit further away from the perfection that is the first Halloween movie.

SPEAKER_06 7:02

I mean, you're not wrong, Mac. It is a far tumble down from the pedestal of perfection that is Halloween 1978. It's just the reality of it. But that's the thing about the franchise. I feel like even at its worst points, for me, it doesn't hit some of the worst points of other franchises. Like some of that shit is just pure trash, and this at least has some redeemable moments. Like this is a movie that I watch like Veto because of Danielle Harris. I fucking loved Danielle Harris growing up. I think her performance as Jamie, even if the rest of the movie is shit around her performance alone, is noteworthy because she's a fucking child actor who was killing it. So for me, this movie, while not the highest quality, is still one that I feel general fun and mild entertainment was.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

The one thing I will say is when you're watching this movie, are you comparing it to something? Right. And I think that's probably what made this not so enjoyable for me, is because I loved all of the others so much. So if you think of the perspective of will I enjoy everything as much, but really it's still Halloween. Like it, I still will watch this over any other movie when it comes to spooky season. It's something that's always in the like rotation. I think the the reality is no matter what, Halloween still slaps as a franchise. So if you connect it to everything, it's still gonna be one of the top performing Halloween movies. But if you're comparing it to four, there's some things that you're just like, wait a minute, because four, I liked four, sorry, Banks. Really liked four. So it for me, it just kind of kept going a little more whack, but it's still a Halloween movie.

SPEAKER_08 8:45

I struggle with this because I watched four with a friend of mine and they were like, but it's a part of Halloween, so you have to give it extra bonus points. And I'm like, no, you know what? No, that's bullshit. Sorry, I'm tired. I I heard the stats of my hacks versus slashes at the meetup, and I will not stand for this any longer. I have to stand my ground, and I'm not giving bonus points just because it's a part of a Halloween franchise and Michael Myers is in it with a weird ass mask. Okay, I won't take it. I just won't.

SPEAKER_06 9:16

Okay, I am not here to derail literally anything you say. I'm also not gonna fully back it up, but I want to back up one point of it, right? Have you ever heard the phrase that you shouldn't be happy with second place because second place is just the first loser?

SPEAKER_04 9:29

Yeah, I think so.

SPEAKER_06 9:30

That's generally how I feel about some of the other movies, right? Like this is a movie where even though Halloween four had a lot of great things in its soul, in the the fabric of its DNA as a movie in the Halloween universe, that had some really good redeemable moments. But this one starts to feel a little bit like the first loser for me because it's a fucking awful mask. It's in some ways not as bad as some of the Halloween four masks that were used during its run, but there are just some really goofy elements of it for sure. So I I feel you, Binks.

SPEAKER_04 10:02

It almost felt like there was two masks in this one, and I don't know if either of them were good. We might all be kind of aligned in in this point, is that I think that this is definitely one where it starts to get a little bit weird, right? Like it definitely starts to get a little bit weird. Something about this one just feels a little bit off in some areas. Is this anybody's like favorite timeline, even?

SPEAKER_06 10:26

Yes, the Thorn trilogy is actually a favorite among people. It's the sequel timeline or the Thorn trilogy? I think largely it's because of nostalgia. My oldest brother loves Halloween 4 because it was the first movie that he saw completely like on TV, not knowing it came out. He's like, oh my god, there's more Michael Myers. It's that kind of like emotional boost where it's like, fuck, it's digging its nails really deep in you now. I I don't know why this is a favorite though.

SPEAKER_04 10:51

I don't mind four by any means. I don't even know if I have like a favorite timeline, I just have favorite films out of the whole franchise, and I don't even know how I would piece them all together at this point. Because I like H2O, right? I like 2018, but I don't know if I want Halloween ends, and I like where's Halloween three just because Michael's not in there, it's not in the mix. Like, fuck that shit. What's going on?

SPEAKER_01 11:10

So good. I love Halloween three, and I know it's probably because my witchy roots, but I think Chris, to your point, Halloween three was completely different and you weren't expecting anything. So I think four got you back into like the oh, he's back. So I think that there's definitely feelings if you followed this growing up. You're attached to four, and then you go into five and you're like, why?

SPEAKER_06 11:34

Why? For sure. And Sean, I just want to point out that your chronology of the timelines doesn't include the Chris universe.

SPEAKER_02 11:41

We gotta hear about that.

SPEAKER_06 11:42

I'll fill you in on a later date. Absolutely. Maybe next spooky season if I get my way.

SPEAKER_02 11:47

We gotta hear about that. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 11:48

You're gonna fucking learn what the Chris universe is for Halloween. And in plot twist, it involves the movie Prom Night.

SPEAKER_04 11:53

Oh wow. Oh, I'm excited. Okay, I will also say really quick that I also felt a whole lot of nothing for these characters. I'm just gonna put that out there. I think aside from Jamie, right? Because Jamie is such a likable character. We loved her in four, she did great in this movie. Outside of Jamie, I didn't give a shit about anybody. Not even Loomis.

SPEAKER_08 12:14

Oh, really? Because I was gonna say I I gave a shit about Loomis and Jamie. It was a little loopy. Well, yeah, because he was crazy, but that was really fun. Loopy Loomis. I thought it was fun, at least. That was probably the entertaining part for me. But everybody else was just, I don't even know. They were just there, and it was so confusing because at some points they say things and it's like, wait, that doesn't make sense. The continuity in this movie is just throw it out the window. It doesn't exist.

SPEAKER_06 12:38

Famously trash movie for continuity, absolutely. Oh, we'll talk about that.

unknown 12:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_11 12:43

I think my biggest feeling while watching it was like when we watched Season of the Witch, I was thinking Halloween without Michael Myers is just not Halloween, right? But now I'm kind of starting to feel like Halloween without Jamie Lee Curtis, without Lori Strode. It also doesn't really feel like Halloween to me either. And I think that's like the element that I'm missing here, is their dynamic.

SPEAKER_06 13:02

No, that's fair. I mean, I think about what's coming up in the future for the Halloween franchise. Like Miramax has just secured the TV rights for the Halloween franchise. I would love personally to see them retcon five and six and do a TV series sequel to Halloween four. Because I think at this point I've gotten to see so many different versions of Jamie Lee Curtis's Lori Strode that I'm like, let's just leave Lori out of it. Like perfection has been achieved. I don't want to see, as much as Scout Taylor Compton tried her best, I don't want to see another person try to be Lori Strode. I just want to see a different arena. So like I want Danielle Harris's story as Jamie continued. So that would be something, right? But I think going through this movie, something that has continued to surprise me over the years, and I know this might not be a popular statement, I'm surprised how much Tina has grown on me over the years. Because she is seen as such a like a grading character and so fucking annoying. And I think I was there a little bit myself several years ago. There's just so much that I pick up on her, like the more and more that I watch this movie. And while I think this movie does a lot of injustices to some of the other characters, I do think that my relationship with her has evolved in a very surprising way.

SPEAKER_11 14:18

I think the thing that disappointed me though the most while watching this, and I mean there's a lot of things you can really pick at this movie if you want to, but the thing that just bothered me the entire time is Jamie's connection to Michael. It's just we show it more here, we go deeper here, but the level that it reaches 100% disappointment. It's just so absolutely ridiculous and supernatural for no reason that when I was starting to get like to a point of like having a good time, it would just show back up and bother me. It's almost laughable. And that's really, I think, the thing that I I had trouble with.

SPEAKER_08 14:53

I'm right there with you. When I watched four, I was already confused. I was like, wait a minute, what in the hell happened between two and four that I'd missed entirely? Made no sense to me. And then I'm watching five, and I'm like, what is going on here? And I should be all about the supernatural stuff, but it doesn't make sense when I feel like I'm watching two different movies back to back, and it's only just a year later in the timeline, it makes no sense to me. There's no need for it. It was a little too much. And that's my problem sometimes with Halloween in general. It's like maybe there's never really a lot of supernatural things going on, but Michael Myers as a human or not at this point, who the hell knows? He just survives everything, and it's like, what the fuck's happening here? But then you're adding other elements to it too. It's a little bizarre.

SPEAKER_04 15:43

Well, that that's the fun part of it, I think. But what surprised me the most in this film was the amount of times Tina was mentioned. Just by probably Jamie alone, I think you could even make a drinking game out of how many times Tina is mentioned. You could take a shot each time. You'd probably be wasted halfway into the movie.

SPEAKER_08 16:03

Yeah, absolutely. And my thing is like, Tina, who the fuck are you? Like, why should I give a single fuck about you? I thought I was supposed to care about Rachel.

SPEAKER_06 16:11

Yeah. So it's interesting, right? Like as this movie was being written and developed, there were a couple different takes on the characters. Rachel was going to be very different than she was in the previous movie, and Tina was gonna be a very different person to Rachel. So they did some swap around, especially with Elder Cornell not being happy with the way that Rachel's character was shaping up. So there are some reasons why. However, I 100% agree with you, Binx. Like in Halloween 4, we have Rachel picking up Jamie from school with her friend Lindsay, who is motherfucking Lindsay Wallace from the first movie. Why can't we just get another Lindsay? You know what I mean? Like, does she have to be Tina? Even if a recast, I think you could have called her Lindsay, and I think that could have been a little bit more seamless.

SPEAKER_04 16:57

Bring back Lindsay. I also think there there is a number of things to be disappointed at in the movie. Like I think from the editing, right? The editing is a disappointment. I think even to an extent, Michael's presence in this movie is a disappointment. Maybe even all the way to like the lack of atmosphere in some areas, everything just felt almost rushed through in this movie, which I felt like is a disappointment in and of itself.

SPEAKER_01 17:20

I mean, there's a lot of things that disappointed me, but I think the one thing that I Googled about the mask because I was so like, what is happening on this mask? And it was supposed to be an angrier, more menacing mask, which I thought it was really hard to believe because all I wanted to do was comb its hair the entire time.

SPEAKER_06 17:42

It's also just such a bad mask that looks like it has alien eyes 100%. And the the most fucked up part of this, they were going to use at least the same mask as the last film, but it didn't fit the actor who was playing the shape. So they had to change up the mask to be a little bit more comfortable. This motherfucker still couldn't breathe in it. But even then, like the aesthetic of it, like it is the one thing that has upset me so much over the years watching these fucking movies. It's just I have so many different rankings within Halloween, and there is a definitive ranking of the fucking masks. To see how perfect they could get it in Halloween kills when we get the flashback to 1978, it's like, come on, could we not have tried a little bit harder?

SPEAKER_08 18:23

I picture what if you took like a doll, like a like a Barbie doll, and you just removed the plastic covering of its head and then just took the eyes out. That's what the mask looks like to me. It's just like a doll. Because like a Barbie doll.

SPEAKER_03 18:36

A Barbie doll.

SPEAKER_08 18:37

Yeah, because Barbie dolls sometimes like their hair texture is like all kinds of crazy, and that's what it was reminding me. I know that this is so niche. This is interesting, but if like just picture a Barbie doll's head off and then the eyes out, and that's kind of like the hair all crazy, which you when you took your Barbie and you like messed with it, that's kind of what it's giving.

SPEAKER_04 18:57

I don't know what you were doing with your Barbies, but sounds pretty disturbing.

SPEAKER_08 19:00

Yeah. I was a brass girly, but I'm just if you've seen Barbie, the movie, there's a weird Barbie, and so like that's true, keep that in mind.

SPEAKER_06 19:08

Yeah, just spread the neck out a little bit for the fucking width of this mask's neck.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Can I say one thing too? Is I didn't realize Michael Myers knew how to drive so well.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Right?

SPEAKER_01 19:18

I does he drive and I can't remember. I was like, wait, how is he, he was there, he was gone.

SPEAKER_06 19:25

Yeah, so he drives in the first film, but you know what? Hey, when we get to realize what's actually going down, and then we figure out what's happening in part six, I think retroactively there is a justification for his driving skills. You know who can't fucking drive though? Hina's boyfriend. Because for a man who fucking loves his car, he drives like shit. Michael? Yeah, he drives like shit. There's no way that's good for the car. That's neither here nor there.

SPEAKER_11 19:50

The look of Michael absolutely takes you out of the idea that Michael is this effective stalker, though, because you're looking at him and he's just like he's goofy or like funky. I don't know which word is the best way to describe it, but it's just like it's off. Something there's just like something wrong with Michael Myers in this movie, his appearance. Yeah. And so every time he shows up, you're like, nah, um, it's like whatever. I'm not worried, I'm not scared. They still have some good moments where they have like a little tension of like what might happen to one character or the other, but this is not scary, Michael, whatsoever.

SPEAKER_04 20:19

So I think you you said it really well. This is probably one of, if not the least scary installment for the Halloween franchise, but I I didn't feel any amount of terror from Michael himself. The jump scares were lacking, the editing was just weird. But to your point, even those moments of tension, I don't know if we're talking about the same moments, but like there's moments of tension and then nothing happens. So it's like just wasted. So there's nothing there for scare factors, like you don't get any jumps or anything.

SPEAKER_06 20:48

Yeah, and I think it's because this movie, while it does capture these great moments of Michael lurking in the shadows or in the background, it will never create the magic of its predecessors. And the other reality is that this movie goes so fucking far in the opposite direction while trying to balance both slapstick fucking comedy with its sound effects and just audio in general, but then also just giallo style, like almost like gothic kind of horror, and it misses on both ends. So it it completely removes the bite from Michael Myers, which is really disappointing.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

But I think to that point though, even Daniel Harris there was moments where I was like, is she having a seizure? Is she just uncomfortable? Like, I don't know what she's actually doing. Is she cold? Like, you know what she's doing, Veto?

SPEAKER_06 21:38

She's doing her best, doing her best, and she was the best in this movie, justice for Daniel Harris.

SPEAKER_01 21:44

Listen, love her, but that's not saying much. That's not saying much because there was nothing that scared me in this movie. I was more okay, let's go. Like something come, something happened. I love the fact that four kind of built everything up. But I was really trying to get some type of enrichment from this, but the mask didn't do it this time.

SPEAKER_08 22:07

But hold on. I know obviously, yes, I think we can all agree that it wasn't scary. But if we had to force ourselves to think of maybe something or someone that was scary in this film, I would say it's Loomis, because at the very least, that man was so unhinged that he did some things in this movie where I was like, sir, you're getting a little too close for comfort.

SPEAKER_11 22:30

This movie, though, I mean, there is a feel to this movie, and it's Chris mentioned something about a sound effect, and I know exactly the sound effects. I think we all know the sound effects, right? But that sound effect reminded me wholeheartedly of a Friday the 13th movie. I feel like it could actually be the same little twang that we get with some of the country characters in a Friday the 13th movie. This movie itself is giving Friday the 13th, like from start to finish almost. That's what I was feeling maybe Friday the 13th, maybe like three, maybe four. It feels like they said Friday the 13th copied us with the first movie, right? So let's copy them, let's get them back by mocking them and mimicking them. And it just like it was not a good vibe.

SPEAKER_06 23:09

I get you. Listen, I'm not gonna disagree with a single thing you said, Mac. In a world where I like to think of Halloween being the movie that perfected the slasher subgenre that Black Christmas pioneered and Psycho and Peeping Tom before that. This is wholly disappointing in the swings that it takes. But I will say that as a Halloween movie, all right, let's just back this up. Fuck every other franchise for a second. As a Halloween movie, it tries to be different. It dares to be different. Sure fucking does. Is it good? No, no, not great choices. No, not great choices that it makes, but it does dare to be different.

SPEAKER_04 23:46

It does dare to be different. I don't have much to say about originality in this movie. I can appreciate that this one attempts to continue the story from Halloween 4. It does do that. No matter how wild and ridiculous the happenings are, it does do that, and that's really all I have to say.

SPEAKER_08 24:02

So I'll I'll share some thoughts, which is I had to watch two YouTube videos after seeing this film to try to make sense of what the fuck happened in production that made this film. And so I've got some fun facts, if you didn't know, and I'm sure I'm obviously in a panel with people that do know, but this is more for the listeners, right? If you two are like, do I need to watch a YouTube video? No, you just listen to us and we'll tell you. So the original script was one thing, and then there was another one, and then there was another one. At one point, I think it was Donald Pleasance who like threw the script away and was like, This is trash, this is what I would do. And then there was another version. It could have been like Frankenstein, it could have been way more supernatural, it could have been Colty. There were so many different possible variations of this film that it could have been. And sometimes I think to myself, man, I like that they don't do what they originally thought of at the table, right? So when it comes to certain films, you hear about what the original script would have been and you're like, ah no. Like Talk to Me was one of those things where I'm glad it wasn't what the studios originally had wanted. No, this movie, I I feel like I'm going crazy because I'm almost like, maybe I would have wanted a Frankenstein movie. Maybe at this point. Maybe I would have wanted a cult movie. I don't even know anymore. I've left dumbfounded.

SPEAKER_11 25:16

However, I feel like at the end of this one, with all the 15 different scripts that they went through and then ultimately just made it up as they went along. At least at the end of this movie, they were honest about what they expected to like happen with the franchise. Like in previous movies, they're like, let's kill everybody. And then the next movie they have to retcon it. That was all a dream, nobody died, don't worry. But here they were just like, look, the door's remaining open, the lights are on, we're gonna see what happens. Was it a good ending? It was an ending, but in reality it wasn't really an ending.

SPEAKER_04 25:46

Yeah, I really don't know how I feel about this ending. I don't know if I'd say this ending is terrible. We see a conclusion that I feel like we don't often see in a Halloween film, which is cool. Like, there is this mysterious dude, we can talk about that a little bit later in the spoiler zone, which is different as well. Like I can appreciate what they did with the ending and trying to be different, but it also wasn't great. It just it wasn't terrible, it wasn't great, you know what I mean? Like it's tough to say, but I didn't hate it.

SPEAKER_06 26:14

Yeah, this is listen, I have mixed feelings about it because you're right, Mac, it's not really an ending, it's more like an ellipses at the end of the movie. A little bit of a semicolon, dare I say, maybe even an ampersand. But I think the reality is that there are parts of this ending that are fine, but I'll never have the experience of watching this movie without knowing what happens next. I saw this movie for the very first time when I was a very small child, and then quickly after that, without the ability to mentally process, I saw Halloween six. So, in a world where people watch this movie, and this movie came out the fucking year I was born, right? People watched this movie and then didn't know for several years what happened after this movie. I can see how this could feel like a satisfying ending. However, I know what happens next, and therefore I'm like, oh, right, this is what we're coming to. So it's a little bunch, it's a little much.

SPEAKER_08 27:10

And that's my struggle because I don't know what happens next. And the ending of four, I was like, well, now that I've survived this torment, all right, well, this could be interesting. Let's see what the next movie is. And then this happened, and so now I feel like I'm left with this this fear. This is actually maybe the scariest part of this movie is that I don't know how this next movie is going to be and how it will fare with its predecessors. Like, is this gonna make me even more upset that I've wasted my time or is this not? Like, I just don't know how to feel. It's the unknown that scares me.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

Chris, I feel like you have brought up something that I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but there is judgment when you re-watch these movies because you're like, wait a minute, this is so bad. Like, why would they do this leading up to this? And I think you're right. Like, if we were in '89, like, and you don't know what's happening and you're kind of like waiting, maybe it was an okay ending. So I'll give you that. I'll give you that. But you're right, knowing what's coming and knowing that H2O is around not really around the corner, but it does exist, it kind of makes everything towards the end a little bit worse. I still don't like it, but it is what it is. The ending was there. It would have satisfied me in the 80s.

SPEAKER_04 28:23

It ended.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

It ended exactly.

SPEAKER_06 28:26

Well, it sounds like this is a mixed bag, and I can't wait to start diving into our ratings. But before we get there, Sean, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_04 28:35

I would say, while I can certainly appreciate the effects they used for a couple of these kill scenes, which I'm sure we're going to talk about very soon, but overall it just it wasn't super gory, and it's really earning itself a medium, maybe even medium load, due to like not overusing the blood in much of any of these kills. Like the film, which I think this is mind-boggling, right? The film had actually been fighting an X rating with the violence and had to like trim a bunch of scenes down to keep it at a rated R, which I don't even know how in this day and age it could even be rated R, to be honest with you. Like, this is given really PG 13. And some of the scenes that they took out would have probably really added to the movie, right? Like, you I don't want to talk about it because we're not in the spoiler section, but there's some details in these scenes that could have added to the gore that could have brought it out of this medium low territory and really amplified it a little bit more. They just made some bad, bad choices. So it's a medium-low gore score.

SPEAKER_08 29:34

And what about the animal report? Unfortunately, we are not safe. You may not see it actually happen, but you definitely do see the outcome of some animal deaths for sure.

SPEAKER_06 29:44

Well, let's go ahead and get into our ratings then. Halloween 5 from 1989. The revenge of Michael Myers. Was it a hack or a slash? And let me just get this shit out of the way before you all have your way with it. Listen, I know I said this before, but if Rob Zombies Halloween movies didn't exist, this and one other movie would be at the bottom of my franchise rankings. This movie has a couple great injustices that I will hold back from spoiling, but it does continue a story that I came to appreciate the older I got re-watching this franchise. This movie is serviceable fun. It's not something that I'm thinking super deep about. I think I would take this movie over some of the bullshit in the nightmare on Elm Street franchise that gets really fucking weird. Even a couple of the fucking Friday the 13th franchise entries. The worst Halloween is almost still better than some other slasher franchises for me. And I'm gonna be real with y'all. You know that phrase, someone has a face that only a mother could love. People confuse my Michael Myers tattoo, and old women have asked me if that's my son. If this fucking tattoo is of my son, consider Halloween 5, the revenge of Michael Myers, the fucking son that I'm not super proud to have, but I love anyway. Because it's okay for me to just have fun and enjoy things out of unconditional love and nostalgia. My unconditional love does meet its end with Rob Zombie's Halloween, but that's neither here nor there. This movie's still a very soft slash.

SPEAKER_08 31:11

At first I thought I was gonna be ruffling a lot of feathers by what I had to say, but I'm so glad that I might not actually be doing so as much, although it seems like I definitely did with my statements about Halloween 4. I've said that in general the franchise has some wins for me, but I haven't seen a lot of the films because it's just not my cup of tea per se. And Halloween 4 was just not great. So going into this, it's that I didn't even have expectations, and if I really, really forced myself to, it was not great. I think I texted Chris saying, like, I'm just really dreading this moment, I'm scared to go on and watch this. And at some points it felt like as I was watching it, the damage had been done with how much I disliked Halloween 4. And then it just continued further because things just didn't make sense in this film. And learning what I did about what this film could have been, it feels like, man, even though all those other renditions were also freaking nuts, I think in general this movie was just gonna be destined to be a disaster. So it's no surprise to me that this is one of those scenarios where like this is the son that you like have to love for you, Chris. But luckily I'm not a mom in this scenario, thank God. So I can confidently say that this movie is an absolute hack for me.

SPEAKER_11 32:24

Well, well, I get to follow that up. So there's a term called carcinization that describes how, you know, thanks to evolution, lots of different species end up with crab-like forms, even though they're not actually crabs. This movie is evidence of something similar in horror movies, where all slasher movie killers, if they're around long enough, end up becoming more and more like each other until they're all nearly indistinguishable from Jason Voorhees with different masks. I have to give credit for Michael being present and at some point holding a knife, so it's a major step up from Season of the Witch, but I was on the verge of hacking this just due to Jamie and Michael's dynamic alone. It's absurd. Halloween, the original, did not need to break from being grounded in reality to have a compelling dynamic between the killer and his would-be victims, and I feel like all the sequels should have followed suit. Thankfully, nobody was brought to life by a lightning strike or tied at the bottom of a lake while undead. There's a variety of kills, Michael standing in windows only the way that he can, and Dr. Loomis being more of a quack than ever, this time without the face nipple. But this is great value, Michael Myers, with farm tool kills, a mask that's not good enough for Five and Below's Halloween costumes, and a script that seems like it was probably finished after the movie released. Throwing ideas at a wall while you're making the film is not the way to make a quality movie. This movie should have been called Halloween Five, at least there's Michael Myers in this one. And for the lack of proper planning to prevent this piss poor performance, it is a soft hack.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

Wow. A soft hack.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

That felt like a strong hack.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

That yeah, that was an aggressive hack.

SPEAKER_04 33:50

That five below comment.

SPEAKER_01 33:52

I think this explains everything that I'm feeling. I found this in online that says that this is a severe violence and gore movie. And this is the explanation to it. It says a man grabs another man by the neck, lifting him into the air, throws him to the ground where he stabs him with a kitchen knife. We only see the kitchen knife come down. That's literally the least scary shit ever. Like it's the so fucking stupid that it could say that it's severe violence. There's so many things about this movie that I genuinely cringe when I'm watching it. Michael Myers crawling through just any scene so fucking slow. His hair is a mess. Like he doesn't really dye, just the fucking everything about this movie, the ability to be so slow. I think I wanted to fast forward half of the half of this movie at times. And this is funny because we were just talking about how I don't hack anything because I've only seen movies that I like on this, which is very true. I love Halloween, one through four. Love it, will always love it. I was wearing a Halloween shirt, number one, fucking awesome. This movie didn't have the score throughout the entire movie, it just had wicked little fucking hymns that didn't really bring me in. It was slow. Michael Myers mask, period. His hair was horrible. To be fair, they almost finished in one of the sex scenes, which I guess is a good thing. But apart from that, all of this movie is a hack for me.

SPEAKER_04 35:25

Dang, there's been some really good ratings here tonight. Let me start off by saying that I think this is one of, if not the worst installment in the franchise. It's not the bottom, but it's pretty close. Like I feel like I only really watch this one when I'm binging a Halloween marathon and trying to get through like all of the 13 films now that we have outside of watching it for the podcast, right? I I can't really imagine anyone saying that this is the Halloween film they think of when setting out to watch a Halloween film, or even a handful of them, to be honest. Overall, there is a lack of any real sensible development in this one. The characters are mostly unlikable. They didn't even have a completed script while shooting this movie, which now makes sense as to why it felt rushed and incohesive at times. Even Michael himself feels less intimidating in this one than other installments. The tough part is that I can still have a good time with bad horror movies, but this one is pretty bad, and for that I have to hack this one. If you're a fan, like a super fan of slashers and Halloween films in general, the franchise, it's probably not gonna bother you that much, which is why we probably always watch it every year or whatever it is, but it doesn't excuse the fact that it's a bad film just because you lump it in there with other good Halloween installments, so it's a hack.

SPEAKER_06 36:48

Well, there you have it, folks. Halloween 5, the revenge of Michael Myers has earned four hacks and one slash that I am not ashamed to stand behind. Now you can find this movie streaming online, or hey, it's Halloween today as this episode releases, so maybe you can catch it live on TV right now. Check it out, then join us in the second half so we can continue talking shit, and I can do a little bit of defense in this movie's honor. See you in a bit.

SPEAKER_11 37:25

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SPEAKER_04 38:29

Maybe not a ton of great kills, as some we don't even see on screen, and some of those we don't even know if Michael was the culprit, but I'm sure there's enough here to slice into. We have about 22 kills. 20 if you're not including some of the animal deaths, but I included them in there because that they felt appropriate. But either way, I'm sure there's enough here to slice into, so let's talk about them. What were your favorite kills?

SPEAKER_11 38:53

I gotta call it out. It's douchebag Mike getting spiked to the face while loving his car more than he loves his girl. This is a guy that constantly demands blowjobs from his girlfriend. This is the vibe I'm picking up.

SPEAKER_06 39:04

But also won't go down on her.

SPEAKER_11 39:06

Absolutely. But he only says I love you after she's finished, right? So that's the vibe I'm getting from this guy. And he can't even give her like two seconds of attention at all, right? And he gets like a nice slow garden tool to the face. It's not a it's not a Michael Myers kill. He honestly didn't deserve a Michael Myers kill. So I think he got exactly what he needed.

SPEAKER_06 39:24

And yet he makes her feel like her heart is full of neon. What the fuck? I don't understand the chemistry between them. That's just me.

SPEAKER_04 39:34

Man, I I think that kill was pretty good. It's just the screeching sound on the car. And that was just oh, that's so painful to listen to and then to go into the kill, but it was a good one for sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

I don't have a favorite kill. Was that bad? I hated everything.

SPEAKER_08 39:51

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 39:52

I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm gonna say, Chris, I just said it to make you a little bit mad.

SPEAKER_06 39:56

Oh no, it's okay. I was about to say the worst fucking kill in the movie. But actually, no, I will throw out a favorite kill. What is it? My favorite kill is actually the police station massacre at the end of the movie. If not for just like one big explosive, what the fuck are we doing here? But the worst death in this movie is the number one fucking injustice of this film, which is Rachel Carruthers. What the fuck, y'all? What are we doing here? And I understand, yes, her death parallels Jamie's attack on Darlene at the end of Halloween 4. I get it. But also she didn't need to go out that way. Again, we talk about some of the changes, right? In this movie, Rachel was supposed to be way more like Tina. And so they actually made Tina the character she is because Ellie Cornell was like, nah, she shouldn't be this way. She wanted to be truer to who Rachel was. And even then, Rachel's a little bit more carefree this time around. Seeing the joy that we get between Jamie, Rachel, and Tina, and just seeing how like she was so close to just getting out of there and enjoying a little fucking vacation, bless her heart. She did not need to fucking go out. Worst part of the fucking movie.

SPEAKER_04 41:08

Yeah, they regretted killing her off, from what I understand, right? Like they didn't want her to die. In retrospect, they wanted to keep her alive, but their initial thought was like that no one was safe, right? So that was the tone they wanted to set. It just didn't really work.

SPEAKER_06 41:22

Exactly, which is why if they fucking continue a TV series, I want them to go back to Halloween 4 and let's continue Rachel and Jamie.

SPEAKER_08 41:30

It's interesting because the actress that played Rachel, she was upset that she was cut so early, like basically what, 25 maybe minutes into the film. And it's it's interesting when you think about it because she stands her ground to not be portrayed as Tina, right? Or rather, like that switch, and then gets rewarded, and I say that in quotations, by being killed off or being one of the first people that gets killed off. I feel like that's silly. But classic.

SPEAKER_06 41:57

They really were trying to have a Casey Becker moment before Casey Becker, and it's just a fucking shame. Definitely a shame.

SPEAKER_08 42:04

I will say my favorite kill, it's more of a cinematic visual element, not because it was phenomenal or anything, but Deputy Charlie, when he was hanging from outside the window, I just thought it was just a cool shot. Although at some at times he was like a little weird a bit, but I I understand he was trying to make Jamie feel comfortable. But the scenario that was happening all as it is is already borderline nuts that they're trying to recreate that first kill and all that. Like, okay, but as a visual element, right? Like I just think of that scene in particular was very nice to see how he's just looking through the window. Not necessarily the goriest or coolest, but it was, I guess, nice to watch.

SPEAKER_04 42:43

Yeah, I'm right there with you because one of the kills that I liked was actually Samantha's, because even though you don't see the kill, I thought it was a cool, like, cut scene. Like you see her, you know, she's charging with the pitchfork. Michael's not having that shit. He he like grabs that shit, swats it away, whatever he does, and then he's got the scythe, which is man, it would have been cool to see the actual kill, but even what they did with it was cool because it cut to her, or the and then it goes to the shadow, and you just see the scythe swing at her, and the shadow drops, and then you get the blood splatter on the hay. I thought that was a cool little visual for that kill as well, even though we didn't get to see the actual kill, which would have been cool if she got like decapitated or something by that thing.

SPEAKER_01 43:22

Samantha's also hella strong. Cause I mean, if we think about Spitz like kill with this pitchfork in the back, like she rips the pitchfork out of his back so easily. I was like, dang, dude, she's strong as hell. But I love myself a good couple kill. Like a couple getting killed is awesome in the middle of a love scene. I'm gonna go back to PG 13 for a second. In the middle of making love on top of hey, to be killed and stabbed in the back is kind of shitty way to go. So I think Fitz getting stabbed in the back was pretty cool, but I think any type of like couple from love to The death is awesome for me. So if I had to pick a death scene, I think that was apart from Samantha. I agree with Samantha.

SPEAKER_06 44:07

So I know obviously I had some shit to say about Rachel's death scene, but I do want to dial it back to what was, I think, one of its more successful visual elements, and that is some of the framing and some of the composition of some of the shots in this movie. I'm getting very specific.

SPEAKER_02 44:26

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 44:27

This is when Michael Myers is Michael Myersing and he is looming in the closet after Rachel grabs her clothes from the closet and he just slowly emerges. If his mask didn't look so fucking dumb, it would have been a beautiful shot. It is the fact that he's playing cat and mouse with her. He's around, she senses it, but she can't prove that he's there. That is almost Peak Michael Myers, because Peak Michael Myers is Annie, 1978, so oblivious. He's around everyone without them feeling it or seeing it. And this again is why Justice for Rachel, she knew something was off. She hadn't checked out, fucking dumb and dumber, lured her into a false sense of security, and now she's gone from us.

SPEAKER_01 45:06

I think it's the only feel of the boogeyman. You know what I mean? When you have those shots where you're like, look up, because that's legit you're looking for the boogeyman. So I agree. I think it did have some of those, it should have had a way more. I think a lot of it was us just chasing people in this movie. When it comes to like the camera effects, you're just like, man, I mean, the opening scene, Michael Myers crawling was so fun. Why did it take so long? Like, my guy, I have gone through like the lazy river before, so I know how many branches. This is obviously my brain. I know how many branches are sticking out. So the whole time I'm telling Bobby, I'm like, man, that must hurt. That's not a smooth ride down those rocks. And then at one point, you see him get stabbed by either a branch or a tree. And it made me giggle. And then after a while, you're like, wait, why does he look so weird? And all you see is, I don't know if you guys noticed, but he's wearing the his life jacket underneath his suit, and it's like pulling at one point. Like you see, like a full, like it's like a string pulling him up.

SPEAKER_06 46:12

I'm like, what are we fucking looking at? Whoops. Don Shanks, who plays Michael Myers, is a big guy. All right. We already talked about the fact that he couldn't wear the same fucking mask in the previous movie, but also it was giving Halloween four's Michael Myers, who had to wear literal fucking shoulder pads, because you can see that there is something underneath the fucking jumpsuit. And also him floating down that river was reminding me of the Navy fucking swim test because you had to turn your coveralls, which he's wearing, into a flotation device. I'm like, Michael, you had so many other options.

SPEAKER_04 46:45

It should have been one of those like cut scenes where you get the dun dun dun dun dun going down the river just like it going for it.

SPEAKER_06 46:52

Yeah, give me the fucking Dukes of Hazard theme song while he's fucking floating down there.

SPEAKER_04 46:57

Ah, ridiculous. We were talking about visuals. Can I just pull a Binx and say the score? Do it.

SPEAKER_08 47:03

Because I was waiting for somebody who was gonna bring up sound effects at some point, and I was like, you motherfuckers, I thought it was visuals. It is visuals. So I don't care.

SPEAKER_04 47:13

I mean, here's the thing. It's just there's just not a lot of great visuals in the movie. And the score wasn't bad. I'm not saying the sound effects were good, but the score itself wasn't bad. There is, to your point, Chris, like there is some good pockets of visuals in these scenes, but they don't follow through with anything, and nothing actually builds the right way.

SPEAKER_06 47:33

Yeah, I think that's the issue for me though, is sure, there are some moments of the score that are good. Like I think about the opening credits, they're slashing into pumpkins. You think about so many other moments where the Halloween theme or that atmospheric, spooky season kind of vibe is going, but then there are moments where they jam, insert, push in this fucking random 80s song that isn't motivated by literally anything else. So you have fucking score that's so atmospheric, along with songs that have fucking lyrics in them, and it's not even what's playing on the radio. Like when they leave the clinic and Rachel and Tina and Max are outside her fucking house, you can hear a song fucking playing, and I'm like, this doesn't make sense. It's giving, don't tell mom the babysitter's dead. It's giving 80s movie, which is fine, but not in a fucking Halloween movie, bro.

SPEAKER_11 48:24

Well, I I I've got a favorite visual that I don't know, it's interesting to be Michael's childhood home. Okay, so we we go back there, it's all decrepit, it's all beat up, right? There was something about like the lighting in that house though when Loomis was there trying to get him to, I guess, kill the child. But when we make it our way to like the attic, why was there so much stuff in the attic? I didn't really understand why there was like a coffin waiting up there to be laid into. That part was weird. Sick layer, dude. Yeah, it's it was giving layer for sure. But it's where Michael plays DD. Yeah, that's true. It's where he plays Barbie. But downstairs, though, aside from the weird attic, the the rest of the house, like it looked really beat up. And there's like a scene of him making his way to Loomis, and something about that I actually really liked. It definitely gave me better vibes than the rest of the movie gave me, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 49:08

Man, not you saying my other worst fucking part of the movie.

SPEAKER_11 49:11

The house? Yeah. Because it's not the fucking Myers house. It wasn't the right house. It's not the Myers house. They did have a dumbwaiter, though. That's a pretty nice house. You got a dumbwaiter.

SPEAKER_06 49:21

It's not about the house being nice or not. It's about it not being the Myers house.

SPEAKER_11 49:26

Actually, it wasn't a dumbwaiter, it was just a laundry chute. Well, I was giving him too much credit.

SPEAKER_01 49:30

Can I say though, real quick, I do like the old man clown face that he wears when he pretends to be Mikey? Like, I genuinely think it's like a hobo kind of mask. I'm I'm into it. I wish he would have worn that the entire movie. I would have been a little bit more scared than what I was.

SPEAKER_06 49:48

Would have been a better mask. It was.

SPEAKER_01 49:51

But also his eyes look like hella creepy in it. And then Tina fucking going in and like kissing him and like him not knowing what to do with this fucking horrible mask. Also, don't kiss a dude on his mask. The fuck? Disrespect.

SPEAKER_06 50:03

Yeah, don't kiss literal serial killer Michael Myers on his mask. How dare you disrespect him?

SPEAKER_01 50:08

Pull the mask up. You got a Spider-Man that shit, you know?

SPEAKER_08 50:13

Well, I mentioned that I liked the kill for its visual elements, but I'll give it that the opening scene with Jamie screaming was kind of cool. I was here for it. She was like screaming, but she wasn't because no sounds was coming out and all that. But it looked cool.

SPEAKER_06 50:28

So your previously on Halloween scene was your favorite scene?

SPEAKER_08 50:32

Yeah, pretty much.

SPEAKER_05 50:33

Which is fine. I just want to point out that you hated that movie.

SPEAKER_08 50:35

Well, it wasn't necessarily previously like when she wakes up from the hospital bed, that wasn't in the fourth movie, was it?

SPEAKER_06 50:41

It's how they link it. Because her nightmare, what she's waking up from, is the previously on Halloween.

SPEAKER_08 50:46

Okay, no, no, no. Right. So let me be very specific. When she wakes up and then starts screaming. That I like.

SPEAKER_06 50:53

Okay. Actually, my favorite scene also features Jamie because, again, justice for Danielle Harris, who really put in some work on Halloween four and five and really deserves another crack at the franchise. Jamie has such a scary moment, and there's a point where she looks outside, she sees Michael, and then she's running around the fucking clinic. And there is the franticness of the chase. And a couple moments into it, you start to realize it's not Michael. Like you know that it's not Michael. She's obviously hallucinating, but they even go to make it obvious to you by showing you that it's different colored pants, different colored boots. At one point you see a glimpse of the uh janitor or the maintenance man's hair. It's this moment of like running through the sheets and it's almost giving nightmare energy. And I absolutely love that because it's moments like that that ground this movie in the horror of being a child in such a fucking terrible situation. Those are the shining moments of this movie.

SPEAKER_01 51:48

The thing I hated about Jamie and her fucking telepathic Scooby-Doo gift. I don't know what the fuck she has. But the fact that she's like sitting there and she's trying to say where Tina is, and she's like, big boob. She wanted to say boobs. Did she not? She was just like, woman, scary.

SPEAKER_00 52:08

Like, what the fuck? Just say tits. The fucking woman with the tits.

SPEAKER_04 52:12

That cop knew exactly where that was. I look at that sign every day and know right where that is. Go to the gas station on the corner, whatever the fuck.

SPEAKER_08 52:21

Instantly knew exactly where that was.

SPEAKER_11 52:23

Well, my favorite scene was a little bit lighter, but also had to do with Jamie. And it's when she meets, well, I don't know about me, it's but she's up there in the costume contest, and she's got a little boyfriend with her trying to like woo her over. It was just a sweet little moment, I think. And then of course she had to completely flip out and detect what was going on with Michael and take her out of the fun that was that moment. But it was really interesting to imagine like, what if they actually let her fall over the side of this balcony? Maybe that's the sick part in me going, This would be like actually very interesting in this movie for that to happen. But of course, they they wouldn't let that happen to her.

SPEAKER_04 52:57

I liked a couple of scenes in this movie. I thought the scene where Michael, like, he's driving and chasing after Jamie in the car and then he crashes the car, whatever. But when he emerges from the car and he's like coming after Jamie, eventually kills Tina, but the stalking part and the slow buildup of the theme song, that was a great scene for me. But also that scene towards the end where between Michael and Jamie in the house and she's going down the laundry chute, I thought that was man, that was intense too. Like she's just trying to get away from him. She goes down the laundry chute. Now she's at the end, he's trying to grab her. I don't know how she climbed up that laundry chute. Like, kudos to her. That's something that I probably could not accomplish. Maybe I could.

SPEAKER_06 53:41

I've never tried, but I mean, to be fair, Sean, she was strong enough to carry this entire fucking movie on her back.

SPEAKER_04 53:46

So there you go. There you go. But it's what they cut out of that scene. As good as that scene was, it could have been better because she was originally supposed to be stabbed in the leg, but the MPAA deemed it too disturbing, so they cut that out, and then now we get no no leg stab.

SPEAKER_06 54:03

Sean, I need you to come to Spooky Empire with me so we can specifically talk to Daniel Harris together about this injustice.

SPEAKER_04 54:09

I know.

SPEAKER_08 54:09

But I want to talk about really quickly if in this world of this movie, these kids run so fast, they fucking outrun these cars. And could you imagine if she had been stabbed in that leg before at any point in time during that chase scene or whatever behind that cart? She was hauling it. I've never seen a kid run that fast. Ever. Both of them. It was incredible. One thing I want to say, going back to Daniel Harris carrying it on her back. Shout out to Loomis, though, because to me, he was he was really giving it his all. I mentioned it earlier. He was absolutely losing his shit in that hospital scene where he's basically shaking her right up in her face. It was a little uncomfortable, but just enough where I was like, I kind of like this. This is really fucked up. Because he was so frustrated, and I don't blame him when she's doing all these sign languages and saying cookie later on. Like, come on, girl, get it together. It all it's all on you, please. He was going mad. Absolutely mad. You said it earlier, Chris. He really is the captain, the president, the CEO of Fuck Them Kids, because he didn't give a single fuck about Jamie. Not a single one.

SPEAKER_11 55:14

He literally used her as a human shield. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:16

A hundred percent. Which honestly, I think is such an interesting departure for his character. The evolution that we get of Dr. Samuel Loomis from Halloween 1978 all the way to even looking at the next film, man, what a legacy to live. But let's be real, we're never gonna forget this fucking movie for how absolutely unhinged he is. In the previous movie, we know Dr. Loomis because of how fucked up his facial scars are and how they often change and how it goes from being a sunny side up egg to not being a sunny side up egg. So we get all that shit. But this one in particular, he is just such a shell of who he used to be, and he has gone full on searching for his white whale.

SPEAKER_04 55:57

Yeah, I get what they were trying to do with the character. It just came off so ridiculous. And maybe it is because he was drinking on the set, like you all said, but I don't know. It just didn't like I I see their vision behind like why he's like slowly just losing it, but just what he portrayed in in the in the movie, it just felt fucking weird, man. Like he just felt like he was way too obsessed with it, and it just got it went off the rails.

SPEAKER_11 56:24

I think they should have gone harder in the paint. I think they should have made him kill people in this movie.

SPEAKER_04 56:29

Well, that would be an interesting turn of events for sure.

SPEAKER_11 56:32

Right? Like he gets so obsessed with I don't even know what he's ups. Is he obsessed with curing Michael Myers? Because like that's not gonna happen, bro. Right? So is he obsessed with catching him? I don't know, because I know they originally wanted to him to cure him in this movie somehow, but I don't know. I just like he's obsessed with him. He's he's got a little thing going on with Michaels in in in his heart or whatever, but I think it would have been more interesting if he had just like gone all the way, like really just like crossed the line here. He's all about the chase.

SPEAKER_06 57:02

Yeah, I mean, his number one fuel to the fire in his soul is eradicating Michael Myers. But I just also want to shout out to one of my favorite Dr. Loomis quotes, and it actually comes in this movie. I prayed that he would burn in hell, but in my heart I knew that hell would not have him. Is it dramatic?

SPEAKER_04 57:20

Yeah, super dramatic, but it's so fucking good.

SPEAKER_01 57:24

It's good. I mean, I think they definitely bring him to you start seeing that he's losing it. I agree a hundred percent, but he still has that passion, which this movie needed it because there's not a lot of good acting in it. So if it wasn't for Jamie or him, I feel like everything would be messed up. But one thing I do want to say is why is he always creeping up behind people? Like he creeped up behind Jamie, like on the trees, like where he came out of the fucking bushes. I feel like the editing didn't do it right at some points either, because you're like, where the fuck he come from? Like he was just there.

SPEAKER_04 58:00

The editing is trash.

SPEAKER_06 58:01

I see you, you don't see me. I'm hidden with my telephoto, lens up in the tree. You walk in, you look around suspiciously.

SPEAKER_04 58:09

Oh my god. All of that. What what the fuck is up with this old hermit dude? Like, what is this dude all about? He has this mysterious pirate's cove in the middle of Haddonfield, like some cave when he's got these candles installed into the walls somehow. What a fucking crazy shit. And for him to like nurse Michael to health for a fucking year, you're gonna tell me this motherfucker was sleeping in there for an entire fucking year?

SPEAKER_06 58:34

Well, remember, there is a reason why Michael is fueled the way he is, and as we learn later in other movies, he is dormant in some periods of time. It's bullshit. It's bullshit, it's bullshit, it's complete bullshit. It hibernates. Yeah, the hibernation of 365 fucking days is a little crazy.

SPEAKER_04 58:54

Hibernation, okay.

SPEAKER_06 58:55

But no, no, it absolutely is complete bullshit. Definitely an odd take, Sean, to the opening of this movie. Honestly, this movie could not be done this way in modern day, or this man would have known on his fucking phone that famed serial killer Michael Myers had just fucking escaped. It's the I understand getting there of this man washing up, attacking you, and then you think maybe I should nurse this man back to health. But at no point between Halloween 1988 to Halloween 1989 did you venture out of your home and learn about what happened to Michael Myers and think, oh shit, there's a guy matching that description in my little shack. I mean, he's a hermit, right?

SPEAKER_01 59:38

Like maybe he didn't. Maybe he actually just lived in the fucking sewers.

SPEAKER_04 59:42

He may not have ventured off too far. I don't know. It's a strange thing.

SPEAKER_01 59:46

Yeah, he that this guy ate frog legs for sure. He didn't go out.

SPEAKER_04 59:50

Let's talk about the man in black.

SPEAKER_11 59:52

It's great if you're going to have a character that you're gonna bring back later. Good for you. But in this movie, there's no context, right? It's really random. It makes the ending of the movie feel completely haphazard as well. I mean, we get that moment where what is he like step off of a bus or something or step out of a car? I don't know if he's just like standing there like the exorcist, and you're like, cool, who's that dude? Oh, guess what? You're not gonna find out. Congratulations.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:17

All you know is that he's rolled into town and he kicks puppies.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:21

I couldn't agree more, Mac, because when he rolled down off that bus, I was like, Are we gonna ever see all we see is the tattoo? And I'm like, oh Jesus, I'm supposed to give a fuck based off of that. Okay. We'll let you know though, every time that he was on screen, Cullen lost his shit. He was barking at the screen non-stop. So that's spooky. Is he vibing? Is he is he understanding something? Who knows?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:44

Okay, but I do want to start discussing the elephant in the room, which is what this movie usually gets dragged for above all else, and that is Tina. She gets a lot of hate. I understand that y'all may find her abrasive and annoying. Maybe some of you don't, who knows? But I have come to enjoy how different she is because she definitely has the sense. Like she's a woo girl who does know better and is actively trying to repress her knowing better, almost like a coping mechanism for all the trauma that she's seen her friends endure over the years, like at the hands of Michael Myers and the town of Haddonfield, etc. And there's a moment where Dr. Loomis is saying, Be sensible. She says, I'm never sensible if I can help it. And you can see this like active fighting in her. And hey, say what you will. All right, she fucking bit the bullet and she sacrificed herself for her best friend's little sister. And Tina's a fucking real one. We should all aspire to have a Tina in our life. Maybe with a little less annoying voice, but a hundred percent. I want to friend. She's just horny, y'all.

SPEAKER_11 1:01:47

Tina is just horny. What's the purple poof thing though? Is that was that like a thing in the 80s? That it's it seemed like she was trying really hard to be cool.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:56

I think she was just comfortable in her own skin. Like she was giving, not trying to impress anyone and really just live in her own vibe, which I enjoyed.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:03

I mean, I respect that. I didn't know that people had an issue with her because I actually kind of enjoyed her character in the movie. This is my first time watching it. Didn't know any better. And I was like, yeah, there's nothing wrong with her. Like Sammy, I wasn't feeling, but like Tina seems cool.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:16

It's not that I hated Tina as a character, and I think props to her for sacrificing herself, that's all good. The thing is that outside of Jamie, I don't give a fuck about any of the characters at all. So like it's not that I hated her as a character, I just didn't care. Like she wasn't necessarily likable.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:35

I mean, I feel like it's I understand her trying to be cool. I feel like her friends, it came more naturally like to be this like hardcore, like, I don't care about anything. I'm in love with my boyfriend, so I don't care if you're scared, little girl. I'm just gonna go get fucked. Like that was her vibe. But at the end of the day, it was a try hard. She genuinely was like, I am a 20-something year old. All I want to do is what I want to do. I don't care that people are dying. I'm not even scared. Oh, she's trying to make a joke out of it until it's too late. But I mean, I think for her specifically, it it was time to go, like sacrifice yourself, I think, to be fair.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:17

I think she should have survived Jamie. Honestly. Like, I I think she should have been the final go hero. Jamie should have just like disappeared into an asylum somewhere and dealt with her trauma.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:26

Nope. No, no, no.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:29

Hot take, hot take.

SPEAKER_08 1:03:30

Nah, definitely not. That's a bit piping.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:32

You're really giving fuck them kibs vibes now. Like you, if you if you weren't before, for sure, it's cemented tonight.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:39

Like, she can stay alive, but like just disappear as a character until you're like 25. Well, you know, and then and then come back.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:45

Got news for you, bud. Oh. Oh. I love Tina and the trajectory she's on because she's not a final girl and she's a great supporting character. Honestly, if she had survived in conjunction with alongside Jamie, okay. Because I do think that Jamie deserves a semblance of a happy ending where she gets to have someone that she cares about in her life. But the story of Jamie Lloyd is not such, apparently, right? Like thinking about what happened to her in the last movie, and then looking at where things stand at the end of this movie, it's looking pretty bleak. It's giving hopelessness and helplessness. And I hate that for her. But in no universe would I ever want Tina over Jamie. I would kill Tina before Rachel.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:30

Well, Rachel should have probably lived. That's the thing.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:32

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:33

True. Rachel should have lived, but Tina had to go somewhere. She had to go at some point.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:39

Listen, absolutely Rachel before Tina and Tina after Jamie, no matter which way you slice it. Love Tina. She didn't need to be a final girl, but I actually want to draw attention to someone else. And this is a character that we've discussed lightly this evening. I talked about my worst part of the movie. Several worst parts of this movie. I talked about the soundtrack being goofy, the sound being goofy. Talked about the fact that Rachel dies, talked about uh his fucking wide-necked mask. I also talked about the changes to the Myers house. Absolutely fucking hate it. My last worst part of this movie is Spits. And the fact that you get so many weird sounds from them. I had to lower my volume because I thought my mom thought I was gonna be watching a porn. I had to lower my volume, but the worst part of this movie with spits is the fact that he couldn't do anything with his teeth. Bro, you look like you tried to undo the ribbon on her bralette, and you could have done it with your teeth, but you didn't. You just stopped trying. You could have pulled down literally anything with your fucking teeth, and then you just stopped trying. Sam deserved someone who could put in some fucking effort with her. He was just so eager to fucking do whatever he wanted to do that there was like no like romancing this moment. Absolutely fucking hated it. He's an amateur.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:58

I think that Bo was hot glued. Together because it it was like a solid 14 seconds of him trying to get that bow off. I was like, why is it taking so long? I think it was like a fake bow. You know what I'm talking about? Like a clip.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:11

Then they could have done literally anything.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:13

It was improvised and he failed.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:15

Failed and then they just like kept fucking going. But also, like he keeps taking again with his teeth in his mouth. He makes it seem like he's gonna do something and he just doesn't do it. Then he uses his hands like a fucking rookie. Anyway, I'm done.

SPEAKER_11 1:06:28

He was trying to tease, but he was very bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:31

Much like most of the scenes in this movie. They were gonna do something and then they didn't.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:36

I can talk about the best part of the movie. Yeah, I can't wait to hear all of your compliments. The kittens eating the guts. Ah I found one. The kitten is just eating guts. I hate cats to be fair. But a cat eating guts is an actual representation of what cats would do if you die. They would eat you.

SPEAKER_08 1:06:56

So it just dawned on me right now that we should have we actually should have switched quote opening quotes. Because you do hate cats. I hate cats. I mean, I guess I mean I don't feel either which way about them either, but like wow, okay, well, that's the best part of this movie is our review and switching the cats. Just kidding. So the only thing I can think of, and it's such a cheap shot, but I'm gonna go for it, is there are like maybe two or three uh scenes visually that I was like nice, I've mentioned two. The third one is Michael in the staircase when Loomis is approaching him. The scene itself, horrendous, but I did like how it looked visually, and that was the best part. Just those three moments that my eyes were like, at least this is kind of nice to look at. Actually, no, you know what? I'm gonna think of a fourth one. I did also like how Jamie looked when she was looking in the mirror, brushing her hair. Kind of creepy. Danielle Harris is kind of scary looking now that I think about it. Just a smidge.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:56

She was giving her best Judith Myers.

SPEAKER_11 1:07:58

In my book, the best part of the movie, getting an actual Michael Myers shot where he's standing in the window looking down, fantastic choice. Having him creep throughout the the house, fantastic choice. I know there's other cases here where he doesn't exactly act like himself where he uses farm tools to kill people, and that's just kind of a bummer. He's got brute strength, but the moments where he actually acts like you would expect Michael Myers to act, I think those were the best part of the movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:23

I mean the title's pretty good.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:26

Oh man.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:27

I didn't actually like this one. The the title here, especially the opening credits, were like the pumpkin.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:32

A little slash with the pumpkin shit, and then the title. Man, it was good.

SPEAKER_01 1:08:36

I like the cover. I mean, I love Me Some Daniel Harris. If you liked four, which I did, and then you're like, oh look, it might be good, and then they fool you into actually watching the movie.

SPEAKER_08 1:08:48

But that's what's so frustrating because it's like it leads you to believe that we're gonna pick up where it left off, and you know, she's gonna be a serial killer along with him, and then it's like, no, actually, that was script number one that someone decided was a piece of shit, and I want to punch them in the face for it. Because I would have a thousand percent taken that bullshit over whatever we just got.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:09

We need to ask Danielle Harris to come on the show and just talk about what could have been.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:12

I did tag her on the post because I followed her for so many years. She's the fucking best. Hands down, love me some. Love that.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:21

Is it that's the problem with Halloween 4 also? They use artwork from the original movie to make it seem like you're gonna get back to the OG Myers, and then all of a sudden it's that bullshit. Yeah, it's such a rough time.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:35

And that's exactly why I will never watch this movie again. I will not, and exactly why I will not be participating in your watch along thing. I'm so sorry, Chris. I'll do some other ones, but I will not be doing a watch-along thing of Halloween five, nor will I do it at four. You said six. I said six. That's all I've asked you to do. I'm not re-watching five. Yeah, that's all I've only I've only asked you to do six. Okay, I'm saying it again so that it's on record. No, the terms of our deal have not changed. Don't pull an insidious on me and somehow down the line be like, oh, this would be a good idea. Oh my god, I can only imagine what a free rewinded this. Don't sign me up. I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_11 1:10:14

I think there's a reason why people watch parts like one and two and then jump to just like later installments. So I'm gonna watch part six. I'm interested to see how bad things can get. I'm really curious. Maybe it's so bad that it's good. I don't know. I really do believe that like it makes sense why we have a later trilogy that's just based off the first movie. I get it now, and I don't know that I'm gonna seek this movie out in the future.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:37

Yeah, there's there's really not a lot of rewatch value here unless you're just a fan of the franchise itself. Like, I I just think there are better timelines or orders to watch these movies, and you probably don't need to be going this far in this timeline. But who am I kidding? I will probably watch this one again, probably within the next couple of years, as I binge the franchise.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:01

I think it it's one of those similar to Friday the 13th, right? Like if you just watch it and it's just like playing, and if you own the whole franchise and you just let it go, that's fine, it'll play. I'll probably be doing something during this movie because I won't in a natural state of mind sit down and watch it again. But there's a reason why I've only done until three over and over again. So I'm just gonna keep doing that.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:29

Listen, it's October 31st, 2023, as this episode releases publicly. I am watching this movie right now. Unless you're listening to this like at night when I'm doing my ideal timeline watch, which is not this one, but I am absolutely fucking watching this again unapologetically. I will continue to watch it now. To Sean's point, there are better timelines. So this is the timeline that I'm watching, and I get it out of the way, so I don't have to really revisit it. I also watch Rob Zombie's Halloween movies, and I do have to just get that shit right out of the way.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:01

Oh, really? What a shocker.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:03

I'm a completionist. I don't admit that often.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:06

I love that for you.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:07

Uh it's fucking awful. But listen, I this is not my ideal timeline, so while I will watch it, it is one that I kind of just get out of the way. And that's okay. I'm gonna continue loving this unconditionally with my one solitary, single, isolated slash for Halloween 5, The Revenge of Michael Myers from 1989, up against four hacks. Listen, folks, we've had a robust discussion here. We've talked about a lot, we've talked a lot of shit. It may surprise you that I slashed this movie with as much criticism as I have for it, but know that I do love it unconditionally, and the conversation doesn't end here by any means.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:40

We want to know what you think. We had some discussion about Team Tina or Team Rachel, so how about you? What do you think? Which one's your favorite? Which one would you have preferred to stay around longer in the film? Let us know. You can join in on the conversation by hanging out with us for free in our Discord. Click the link in our show notes to sign up.

SPEAKER_11 1:12:57

If you've enjoyed listening to this episode, consider joining our new blood drive on the last possible day and becoming one of our patrons. Visit patreon.com slash hacker slash to enjoy more of the show with early access to extended episodes, bonus content, and live shows.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:11

We'll see you next time, folks. And remember, tears won't get you anywhere.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:15

Do you want me to call your mom?

SPEAKER_06 1:13:26

Listen, I know we're talking about a Halloween movie tonight, but let's just throw it back to a week ago. A little over a week ago, two weeks ago, when we were all at Halloween motherfucking horror nights together.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:38

Man, always fun. I love Halloween Horror Nights, but it's always good to go with a good group. And it was it was just really fun to have all of us there. Even though we we got separated at one point, it was still a good time. It was always always fun to be there, but with good people, it's always good. Yeah, that was a blast.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:55

I was gonna ask, I was uh, did you guys survive? Did you hydrate? I have so many questions for all of you. Did you hydrate enough? Did you survive? Did you get to go to all the houses? I guess that's all the questions so far.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:08

Well, I think some of us, I think some of us went to all the houses. I don't think we we didn't get through all of them. We got through like six or sa six or seven of them, something like that. Banks, I banks and her crew for sure got through all of them because they had the express passes. We just didn't have the express passes. Which in hindsight, yeah, if we just have to get it early enough to get it at a reasonable price. I still wouldn't do it for $230 or whatever the fuck they were trying to charge.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:34

Yeah. Yeah, I recognize that I big money balled it and I spent an absurd amount of money. But I have to say, I feel like now I can never go back. I've had a taste of the good life. Yep. And now I will be purchasing them in advance. If you buy them in advance, it's as low as $80, I think, or something crazy like that.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:54

Yeah, which is great. I mean, that's that's worth it. And even though you spent a lot of money, you clearly had an amazing time because some of your reactions in these houses was fucking priceless.

SPEAKER_08 1:15:05

Yeah. I wish that you guys had seen my reactions to one of the houses in particular, or some of them, but one in particular was this Yeti house where I fell to the floor, but this time I was fully on the ground, like back on the floor, head on the floor. I was flat on the ground, as well as one of my best friends, Mary, and we were just crawling, trying to run away from basically a guy in a Yeti suit. Like, it's not even that deep. And it scared the absolute shit out of me that I was on the ground. People were screaming, Are you okay? And I was like, I'm fine, and I'm running my ass off, like I'm just trying to catch up. I'm screaming, we gotta get out of here. Like it was it was a lot, it was very dramatic.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:50

Yo, it was hilarious walking through stranger things, and it's literally just like characters from the show, like Mike, who just steps out and you guys screamed so loud. It was fantastic. This was everything I hoped for as somebody who has not gone through haunted houses since I was a child, and those haunted houses were literally just like somebody's house where they, you know, they had their family dress up to spook the neighbors. This was this was like properly made, and it was it was wonderful. I think Sean and I laughed the entire way through probably every house. Yeah, and he and I were we're partnered up for several of those where we were like, you guys are walking through, you're doing your thing, we're walking behind, so we can like watch the reactions. Very satisfying to be in that position to kind of see you jump or scream, apparently fall on the floor. I missed that one. That's definitely a bummer. I wish I could have seen that. But man, those houses were great. Like, yeah, we I didn't get to go through all the houses, but Chris and I talked before. If we got to see Stranger Things, if we got to see goodness, what was the other one? Maybe The Exorcist, Chucky, yeah. Last of Us was the big one, right? Last of Us and Stranger Things were probably my like top two that I wanted to go to. I was like, cool. If I get those three or four done, I'm completely satisfied. Anything else on top of that is is a bonus.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:01

Yeah, it was pretty successful to be able to go early on. And I'm glad that we were able to do those three, at least for the most part, we were able to do it together or at somewhat the same time.

SPEAKER_07 1:17:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:17:11

Especially The Last of Us. That was the one that I'm really, really glad that we all were in line for together. Because I don't know. I mean, granted, you guys might have been a little bit behind me, but that was the first one that I had fallen to the ground. But it was just like I was just ass on the floor, and I did scream a lot. And luckily, one of my friends was able to like pick me up. But the I he wasn't necessarily a zombie, but he was like this guy holding a rifle. He just stood in front of me staring at me, kind of deciding whether he wanted to ask me, like, are you okay? or like stay in character, obviously. It was nerve, it was just a lot, it was nerve-wracking. But I'm so so happy, and it was exactly what I expected, if not more. I definitely sobbed leaving Stranger Things the first time, and then I sobbed going into The Last of Us as expected.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:58

I love it, and I actually have video of the sobbing uh from beings after the last of after the Stranger Things house, and then not sobbing after The Last of Us, but definitely needing to catch your breath after The Last of Us.

SPEAKER_08 1:18:12

Yeah, well, because it's almost like the opposite. I was spooked going into the stren into Stranger Things and then crying on my way out. And then The Last of Us, I cried the moment that I saw the first prop, which is this poster of where they explain what the clickers look like. I started crying and then was scared shitless leaving it. So it was a nice, you know, the duality of it. It was really, really great. I also got spooked at the extra disbeliever. I definitely fell on Angela's bed, and I was like, oh, my God, probably shouldn't be, you know, laying down on this. It was just a lot. I usually never go in front, but I I feel like now I want to because it just it also creates very, very funny scenarios because I know that I'm gonna be really fucking scared, but I think it it calls for a good time.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:00

Oh my god, you literally posted the video.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:02

It's there.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:03

I I did. I hope that's okay. I can delete it real quick if you don't want it.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:07

I like no, it's fine.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:08

I hope that's okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:19:09

It's already there. Listen, I can little I can do a little right-click delete. I already downloaded it.

SPEAKER_06 1:19:14

I absolutely loved the experience going first before Binks, and then knowing that there was a jump scare happening at the very end, getting to the end, turning around, and then seeing the look of pure terror in her eyes when the actor got her.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:31

But here's the here's what I've noticed. Even when you were in front of me, I could still see some of the scares that were happening. So it it's when it still got me that I was like, why is this why when I already knew? And and I realized when it was just like when I was solo with you know the express pass peeps, I realized that it's really my friend Mary. Because at the end of the day, she ends up getting them, and since I'm in front of her, she drags me. So in Yeti, what happened was that we both got scared and I pushed back, but then she also was pulling me forward. So that's why we both fell to the ground. It was a bad combination, a great combination, but a bad one nonetheless.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:08

I'm lucky. Bobby always like stops, like we start walking really slow, so we leave that big gap, and then the people at Universal Studios usually like yell, they're like, Go, go, go. We're like, nah, dude, we're taking our time. But my husband's like a big burly dude, so he like stops everything, and then we get all of the scares because we can't see the people in front of us. But I just like have a good handle on his belt, like that's the comfort, and you actually hand in underwear belt, and then I just like, well, he's like, You're pulling my pants down. I'm like, let it happen. Let it happen. It's my comfort. I need this, but yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:45

I absolutely loved getting at some point we had Nathan and Taylor in our group kind of hanging out with us for a little while, and Taylor was a real trooper. Uh, absolutely love that experience, and I think it only could have been better, Veto, if you were there with us. I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:58

I love, I would have loved it. I don't know though. I I don't get scared. I scream because people are screaming, so it's like a secondhand scream because I'm like, I'm not scared, but why are you screaming? So it's like a scream thing. Yeah, I'd love me some haunted houses for sure.

SPEAKER_11 1:21:15

I think we got some good learns, you know. Uh one, it uh for look at the weather forecast, right? And apparently 80 degrees in Orlando is very different from 80 degrees in Virginia. Uh so next year, if we end up doing this again, I'm wearing shorts, like like you know, short shorts and like thigh shorts, right? Chebbies. Um yeah, I'm gonna definitely wear little sailboats on them. I'm gonna wear some silkies, maybe just some ranger panties. Two, don't be a cool boy, right? Don't, don't rock the vans, don't rock the the cool, easy shoes. Get some proper like running or walking shoes. I could have worn my my favorite new balances ever, and then I was like, no, I gotta be, it's you know, it's a special thing. I gotta change my shoe, my shoe game up. I should have brought those though, just for Halloween horror nights, just for all the amount of like the walking and and the standing that you do. Because I remember at one point, like Nathan and I were sitting on the curb while people are getting some food, and it was just like, oh my gosh, my body hurts. It's like 8:30 and it feels like midnight. This is this should not be that bad on me. But I have literally like no support under my feet, and I gotta learn from that.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:24

I want to say two things. One, no one told you not to bring those new balances. Just want to make it clear, you were the one that decided that upon yourself. Two, I love that you said no like vans or cool kids because Sean was definitely wearing his exorcist vans.

SPEAKER_04 1:22:37

I was, but to his point, I was sitting there at the Airbnb with Mac and I was like, Do I wear comfortable shoes or do I wear these exorcist shoes? And I was like, fuck it, I'm wearing the exorcist shoes.

SPEAKER_06 1:22:48

And there we go. We have Jake in the chat asking, what was our favorite scare zone? I don't know about y'all. Mine was absolutely the fucking hippie vampires. Oh, yeah. Because they had The Summer of Blood. Yeah, they had one who would pull focus, jiving and just dancing and grooving on top of a fucking car, and then other ones would just come out and get you. Loved that shit.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:09

You know, for all that we were able to accomplish, unfortunately, we didn't get to see all the scare zones. I missed the one that I typically love, which is when you go over the bridge, because there's like a lot of greenery there, so it can be extra spooky and the fog machines are going. I didn't get to see that this year, nor the ones that are along the like the shops or the um like the born show and stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:31

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:32

But I will say that the vampire, the vampire ones were really, really great. And the Dr. Oddfellow that was kind of by like the San Francisco area was was pretty good. At one point there was like a small kid that was there that full on I was like on the phone and he full on stopped right in front of me. And I just looked at him like, okay, I know that you're supposed to scare me, but quite frankly, I almost ran you over. You should be terrified, child.

SPEAKER_04 1:23:57

There was some missed opportunities with all of that fog machine nonsense that was going on. There were moments that I was walking through some of these zones where I could not see an inch in front of me because of the fog had just like the fog machine had just set off, and no one popped out at me, but that would have been probably the one and only time to actually get me at this event, but it didn't happen. So missed opportunity on you, Universal Studios.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:22

What about the merch? Did you guys get merch? I sure did.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:25

Binks loaded up. I sure as heck did. She didn't even get through the gate, she had a backpack, a guitar, drink holster. She was ready to go.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:35

Sean called me the fuck out, man. Jesus.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:39

It was just so great.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:41

I came in, Stranger Things decked out.

SPEAKER_08 1:24:43

I was like with my Hellfire backpack, which is what's behind me right here, which is phenomenal. I got a guitar. It's I already have it displayed, but it's like a guitar holder or like a little necklace that you can also put, like it's like a water disposal thing. So I got that. But it really was just a display with my collection. I almost walked out of there with a Last of Us t-shirt, but I was like, Bianca, you have enough of that. I almost got a shot glass as well. And then there was a Hello Kitty Chucky uh mug that I thought was adorable, but Mary told me to put it down, so I did.

SPEAKER_04 1:25:23

Yeah. I did not I didn't get any merch this time, but the last time I went, I got a ton of like random shit. I got like a t-shirt, uh, I I got like a little Beetlejuice glass. Um I got a oh, I got a mummy lunchbox. I also got this sweet little coaster right here that was dope. Hell yeah. Yeah, so you know, I just didn't get any this time. It was just we were just going.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:44

Fucking love that. I think the last time we went was Killer Clowns of Outer Space, which is one of my favorite movies. So we fucking decked out. We got like a popcorn holder, we every it was all surrounded around like food. But Odie, my beautiful pup, just like chewed my uh killer clowns from outer space cup, and I'm like, no. So now I need to revamp.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:09

Yeah, I so I I wanted to buy some and be a little bit more impulsive. And I thought, well, hold on, I'm going to Spooky Empire, and I'm gonna know I'm gonna buy a lot of shit there, so let me just pump the brakes. I had so I'm doing I'm gonna do what I did last year. Last year, when I went to Halloween Horror Nights, I kept an eye out for things that I liked, and then I just fucking ordered it online. So the Smith Grove Sanitarium sign that I have in my background got that. This fucking sick Halloween mug that takes you through scenes from the first movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:26:38

Cool.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:39

Absolutely love that shit. There's also like a Michael Myers keychain in here. I just bought a lot of Michael Myers shit, as you can tell. That's my fucking vibe. And listen, I know that Veto, you didn't get to go with us to Halloween horror nights. I just got one more thing in here I want to call out. A few days ago, Sean, his wife and I got to go to Fright Nights in at the South Florida fairgrounds. Yeah. And holy shit, that was fun. I saw.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:03

That was a good time.

SPEAKER_08 1:27:05

It looked really cool. Ari told me that there was like a lot of scare actors out in the streets.

SPEAKER_04 1:27:10

There was. Obviously, it's a much smaller scale, right? And it's nowhere near the production value or like the amount of space that Universal has, but the houses were pretty good, right? Like they the there was a lot more actors, right? Like we were just we were talking about that, Chris. There's there's more actors, there's there's less like stage props moving around and just more actors actually like acting out scenes as you walk through, which is kind of like what I remember in when I worked at Haunted Houses, because you had to like be in that character and reset and do it, and reset and do it with every group, which you know, kudos to them to do that all night long because it is grueling. But it was it was really awesome.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:50

Yeah, I think it's one of those things, right, where Universal will always have production value and it is always a sight to behold, and it's fantastic and so much fun. But man, little spots like. This it's got the soul of Halloween. It's got the motherfucking spirit of Halloween living in its bones.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:07

Yeah, and the South Florida fairgrounds pours heavy drinks.

SPEAKER_06 1:28:10

I yeah. Yeah, I got really buzzed off of one fucking one lemonade with a comically long straw, and I was already super fucking tipsy and I had to eat a gigantic hot dog and some funnel cake to sober up.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:23

I mean, to be fair, I live in San Francisco, which is a zombie haunted house a hundred percent of the time. There's like if you walk the streets of San Francisco, it's the scariest thing you'll ever live. So um I think I live that every day. But I am gonna, I have vacation starting next week, so it's time to spook it up. I'm gonna go get get scary. Oh, I can't wait to see it.

SPEAKER_11 1:28:46

You know, it was tough coming back and like getting into the real world and having to go back to work because I I literally like spent like 30 minutes going, okay, what's what's actually going on near me? Maybe, maybe I could actually try to make a local event here in Virginia, and then I was like, oh my god, scheduling, I can't really do much. And it made me sad because I was like, oh, seeing you guys seeing you guys like continue to go out after Halloween Horror Nights. I was like, oh, I'm sure there's I mean, I know there's things here that I can do, but like finding the time to do it and the energy to do it, I was like, uh maybe there's still time. You know, there's still time, but maybe.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:18

If you need some recommendations, you let me know because I still got my short list of places that I will try to hit up every fall there.

SPEAKER_11 1:29:24

Yeah, I know there's I know there's a few places, I know you've you've mentioned them before too. It's just like, you know, it's one of those things where next year I need to just somehow plan for a big October vacation as well and make a big go of it and and just get the most out of the spookiest month.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:40

I absolutely love that. And you know, there was like a five seconds earlier this month when I was considering moving back uh where Mac lives. And man, if I'd done that, fucking RIP to you, bro, because you would have been dragged everywhere with me.

SPEAKER_11 1:29:56

That would be a lot of fun, though. I mean, let's be honest.

SPEAKER_06 1:29:59

Your wife's probably happier that I'm not. As welcoming as she is, I think she'll enjoy having more time with you.

SPEAKER_11 1:30:05

You're already the other woman every time that a uh podcast ding goes off, you know. A notification. Should like tell the other woman to calm down.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:13

Wow, not me being the other woman in a man's life. Wow. I never saw this coming. The paranormal paramour Binks. Take me, but spare my friend. She's a virgin. Y nuestra amiga de los muertos vero. That was my quote, too.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:35

I'll do another one. I'll do another one. I'll do another one.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:38

No, you're good. I'm gonna f I mean there's not a lot.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:43

Also, his name is also Michael.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:46

Yeah, yeah, Mikey, Michael.

SPEAKER_08 1:30:48

It's so stupid. It's stupid. Like, I know I'm sure, like, I get it, but it was stupid. At one point, I just got up and I started doing dishes, and then I kept hearing Michael. Michael was like, bro, is the guy on screen? Or no no, it's just a boyfriend. This is stupid. Ugh. Sorry, that's B-sides, but I just I can't get over it. I can't get over it.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:09

But I think to that point though, even Danielle Harris. There was moments where I was like, is she having a seizure? Is she just uncomfortable? Like, I don't know what she's actually doing. Is she cold? Like, all of a sudden, she's not talking. I'm spoiling the whole thing. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:25

You know what she's doing, Veto? She's doing her best. She's doing her best.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:29

She's doing her best.

SPEAKER_06 1:31:31

And she was the best in this movie. Justice for Daniel Harris. Listen, honestly, Loomis, Dr. Fucking Samuel Loomis, president of Fuck Dem Kids 2023, baby. Like 100%. I thought Michael Myers would be president just by the nature. Like, we like sitting down for this, right? I've seen this movie so many fucking times. I know that Loomis is real loosey fucking goosey in this. However, Michael Myers is chasing his seven-year-old niece. Well, now eight years old. And then there's another kid that ends up in the movie too. So you think Michael Myers, president of fuck them kids, and then you got Loomis coming out of nowhere being like, oh, let me just hold my beer, Michael. Let me take it one step further.

SPEAKER_08 1:32:16

And apparently, literally hold my beer because Donald Pleasants, I was just reading the chat, was boozing it really hard during this film, and that makes so much sense. So much. Because my man was out here. And he even had the sweats. And it all makes sense now. Now that I really think about it, it makes complete sense. May he rest in peace.

SPEAKER_11 1:32:36

He was just toxic in this movie. You know, he's like, if anyone's gonna kill these kids, it's me.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:41

To be clear, not that Dr. Loomis is out here trying to kill kids, but like it definitely gives the energy.

SPEAKER_11 1:32:45

Well, trauma, you know, he was definitely trying to supply plenty of trauma.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:49

I think that's the trauma, big T's. Like super mad, super mad at the kids.

SPEAKER_11 1:32:55

Maybe he's just like future-proofing his career, you know, because then he'll have to help them unpack that trauma later. So just creating more clients. It feels like they said Friday the 13th copied us with the first movie, right? So let's copy them, let's get them back by by mocking them and mimicking them. And it just like did it was not it was not a good vibe.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:16

Yeah, it's more so like Friday the 13th, like 5'6.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:20

Somewhere around there.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:22

Like when you think about when you think about the Jamie Lloyd Carruthers to Tommy Jarvis pipeline, it's not looking real great. Maybe I would have wanted a cold movie. I don't even know anymore.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:35

I've left dumbfounded. I can't wait for next year, Bings. Well oh, when I have to keep going, when I have to keep watching this. Yeah, no, I know.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:42

Yeah, I really can't wait. I think you actually might like the next one.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:45

It's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:47

Oh okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:48

Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed for sure. Paul Steven Rudd. Really? Yeah. Did you say Paul Rudd? Yeah. Paul Rudd's in that movie. Oh, I'm gonna like it. I'm gonna like it. Oh, okay. I'm gonna like it.

SPEAKER_01 1:33:59

And it's out, it's out of this like thro of whatever th trilogy night nightmare that we're in.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:06

So well, it actually is the culmination of the trilogy nightmare that we're in. However, it's you know great. Yeah. I have a special request. Binx, next year I want to do a series of watch-alongs of every movie in the Halloween franchise. Not with everybody, don't worry. You're not all gonna have to fucking watch some dumb bullshit, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:34:27

And you have to be there for every single one.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:29

But Binx, no no no. I I will be there. I don't know who the fuck I'm gonna invite to do this shit with me. But like Binks, I just want to do Halloween six with you. Alright, fine. I will only see Halloween six, though.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:41

Wow. Yeah, I will only see Halloween.

SPEAKER_06 1:34:44

I don't expect you to do Halloween one through five or anything beyond six, except for obviously because we're gonna be doing six next year. But I want to do the watch along with you. I like I want to sit down and I want to get your fucking live reaction to watching that movie.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:56

I mean, I'll watch one. I liked one. If I have to watch four again, no, it's it's not gonna happen. I think I I don't want to say something crazy like I'll see Insidious before seeing four because you all of you are very capable of doing that to me. So I'm not gonna put that on paper, but I'm not going to sign up for four. I will definitely not watch six until it is absolutely necessary.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:18

So next year.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:19

Sounds good. Watch along. Got him. Someone has a face that only a mother could love. People confuse my Michael Myers tattoo, and old women have asked me if that's my son. Consider Halloween 5, my son, that I love unconditionally.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:33

What?

SPEAKER_06 1:35:35

What?

SPEAKER_08 1:35:36

Consider repeat what you just said. Repeat what you just said. I want that to really resonate.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:41

Yeah, the fucking people confuse my tattoo of Michael Myers as if he's my son. Like I've had old women ask, oh, is that your son?

SPEAKER_02 1:35:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:51

Yeah. Can you can you show your tattoo on camera, please?

SPEAKER_08 1:35:53

Yeah, hold on. Just to make sure that everyone understands something. Yeah, one second.

SPEAKER_04 1:35:57

That's a little Mikey.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:58

Because I want everyone to think about what was just said. They think that Michael Myers with that face and no eyeballs, a knife and no eyeballs, her son has no eyeballs. I swear to God.

SPEAKER_04 1:36:14

This is too good.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:15

Okay. I swear to God, people that people have asked me like Brida Frankenstein is Frida. They're like, is that Frida? I'm like, it's Brida Frankenstein. But I kind of love that.

SPEAKER_06 1:36:25

It's honestly fucking wild. But so people have asked me that, right? And I've literally gotten, I'm like, no, he's from a movie. Oh, he favors you. What? No, that's crazy. Anyway, back to the point. If this fucking tattoo is of my son, consider Halloween 5, The Revenge of Michael Myers, the fucking son that I'm not super proud to have, but I love anyway. Because it's okay for me to just have fun and enjoy things out of unconditional love and nostalgia.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:52

Chris, this is the sun you leave in the car with the windows up, bro. Holy shit.

SPEAKER_09 1:36:59

Holy shit. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:01

Let him go. Let him go.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:08

Let that kid. Fuck them kids for real. Sean, what's that? What's that M night Chevron show that we watched? The oh my god, fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:17

Oh yeah, yeah. Oh now, now you've got me.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:22

Now I don't know, but it's that's literally what happened.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:25

That is literally what happened, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:27

Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:30

Ridiculous.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:31

So I don't like your son. Servant.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:34

There we go.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:34

The servant, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:36

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 1:37:38

Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 1:37:39

Who who follows Chris? Because I feel like we can all just say it at once. All together now.

SPEAKER_09 1:37:46

All together. Christ. That was too funny.

SPEAKER_08 1:37:49

Let me have a sip of my Starbucks that yes, I've had since this morning, Mac. Oh, it's the personal attack for me.

SPEAKER_11 1:37:57

And for the lack of proper planning to prevent this piss poor performance, it is a soft hack.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:01

Wow. A soft hack.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:03

That felt like a strong hack.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:04

That yeah, that was an aggressive hack. Yeah, ain't nothing soft about that.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:09

That five below comment.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:11

That five below comment.

SPEAKER_11 1:38:12

Hey, at least there's there's Michael Myers in this one. I gave it credit. He did.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:16

No! Stop with the credit. A big hard hack. A big a hard one.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:24

Hard hack.

SPEAKER_01 1:38:26

That didn't finish. Hard hack.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:28

That didn't finish. Nope. Man, so close. Oh.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:38

And yet he makes her feel like her heart is full of neon. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_04 1:38:44

I don't even know what that means.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:46

What does that mean? It's nonsensical. It means that her fucking heart is made of neon and therefore it radiates and shines brightly until one day it flickers out. It just dies.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:58

What?

SPEAKER_06 1:39:00

Oh what oh wait, Tony's, there's like a whole thing. Okay. Uh Tony asked ChatGBT to create a conversation between us five. Chris, excited. Guys, I thought Halloween 5 was awesome. Michael Myers was so scary and the suspense was top notch. Vero sarcastically. Of course, Chris, because it's entirely realistic that the cops in this town are the absolute worst. I mean they couldn't catch a cold. Michael Myers. Mac, annoyed. And did anyone else notice how many times he said Tina's name? 39 times. I counted. It's like they were trying to hypnotize us with it. Sean, disgruntled. Even Radio Rob, who's usually up for any horror movie, told me he doesn't like Halloween 5. That's saying something. Banks exasperated. Ugh, I can't take this anymore. And needed a bro in there for her. I can't take this anymore, bro. I need to drink after watching that mess. Michael Myers better not haunt my dreams tonight. Yeah, there's no way on this.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:53

That's actually probably verbatim in my head after I watch the movie, except for the Michael Myers not haunting my dreams. There's no way that man can haunt my dreams.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:02

Pretty great.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:03

It's okay. I'll try harder with the impressions, Nathan.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:06

The the bro part is just the Miami coming out, as we've all learned.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:09

The fuck, bro. Yeah. Bro. Okay. All right.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:14

It's the Miami and me.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:18

Fucking no, absolutely not. If you want to tell me that that was a house from Halloween ends, maybe. Maybe I'd fucking believe it. But it's not the motherfucking Myers house. This gothic chapel-like house? Absolutely fucking not. No way. I promise I have compliments for this movie. I was gonna say, you're feeling you're feeling kind of hacky.

SPEAKER_10 1:40:40

I know what's going on.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:41

It's just the fucking house is so bad. I hate the house. I really hate the house. Anyway, I'm done.

SPEAKER_08 1:40:49

Didn't she say cookies? Like is is cookies a gag. A synonym for tits? Is that it? No, it's vagina. Oh, oh.

SPEAKER_05 1:40:59

Did it off with the nookie so he could get that cookie? Only one cookie.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:04

One cookie, not two.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:05

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:07

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:41:12

She pissed me off. Like nobody could understand you. Like the whole entire sign language thing was pissing me off the entire time when she's looking at Michael and she goes like, see. And she just like, can I see? And she just taps her eye. Is that even a sign language? I don't know. Well, sorry. I love Jamie, but the entire time I was like, What? Why do they make her do this? It's not her fault. They made her.

SPEAKER_06 1:41:37

Yeah, to be fair though. I mean, it was only one year, and it's not as though she's like truly mute. You know what I mean? Like she they're kind of just in her.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:54

They're kind of just I don't know what that was. Is it colon? Yeah, it's calling.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:06

Why?

SPEAKER_09 1:42:06

Because you're saying mute and then you just heard him like let out the longest cry of life. Yeah, he's upset about this movie. He watched it with me and he also was not having it.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:16

The animal report is now just the colon report on how he fears in the screen.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:20

Nice. Honestly.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:21

So I really think they're just kind of figuring out their way. You know what I mean? Like, is this a permanent situation? Do we actually need to commit to learning ASL? Or can we just, you know, vaguely gesture?

SPEAKER_00 1:42:32

She's like, seek can I see? Like, what the fuck? Why two fingers? She kept doing it. I was like, stop. This guy literally gets shot every fucking year. He doesn't want to show you.

SPEAKER_11 1:42:49

It was really interesting to imagine, like, what if they actually let her fall over the side of this balcony? Maybe that's the sick part in me going, this would be like actually very interesting in this movie for that to happen, but of course, of course, they they wouldn't let that happen too much.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:02

No, Mac, that's just your fuck them kids kicking in.

SPEAKER_11 1:43:06

Hang out with Sean for one weekend, and this is what happens. This is what happens.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:09

Fuck them kids.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:11

Hell yeah. Uh I I I but no, it absolutely is complete bullshit. Because then to have hibernated for a full fucking year and then just the nursing back to health only to be quickly dispatched that way to be quickly eradicated and extinguished from this earth, absolutely shitty. But there were other options for what they were going to make that character, which still doesn't make me feel any better about it.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:40

What are these options?

SPEAKER_06 1:43:41

I know. Other hermits?

SPEAKER_08 1:43:43

No, he was supposed to be like a cult leader. Like that's where the cult aspect was gonna get into the mix. He was some cult leader who was like basically doing some ritual.

SPEAKER_04 1:43:54

Well, isn't that what isn't that what Dr. Wyn is? The mysterious man in black.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:58

So I'm gonna put a link in the show notes to Dr. Death, but it's an an alternate opening. And it was basically gonna be this guy who was also there with him. Well, not also, but the person who was going to be there instead of this man. He's gonna be obsessed with like death and shit like that. I am I will put a link to it in the chat right now, and I will put a link to it in the show notes.

SPEAKER_10 1:44:19

Instead of a hermit, he was gonna be a Kermit. Woo! Well, there goes Michael Myers.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:25

Also, this old man just looking at these photos, though. Sorry to go back to it, looks like Keith Richards right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:44:35

Fair. That's fair. Damn.

SPEAKER_04 1:44:39

I mean, it does. I'm sorry. It just really does. But hey. But Keith Richards is also old and decrepit.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:45

So is he still going to pictures or is he doing like the fucking uh he's reading cards?

SPEAKER_11 1:44:50

Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:44:51

What the fuck? Tony says terrible.

SPEAKER_11 1:44:55

You know what? I think this actually would work pretty well in the in the horror universe if he does like the Dambala chant, you know, before he's bringing Michael back. I think that would just like tie into to Chucky, and that would everything would make sense all of a sudden.

unknown 1:45:12

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:13

Give me the power I beg of you. Uh he looks like he should be from the dark crystal.

SPEAKER_11 1:45:21

It's a racer head.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:23

He looks like he's he's craving some essence. That guy lives in San Francisco. Like I saw that guy.

SPEAKER_11 1:45:30

Oh, drinking your own piss is sterile.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:33

I don't care about anything. I'm just gonna like I'm in love with my boyfriend, so I don't care if you're scared, little girl. I'm just gonna go get fucked. You know, like that was her vibe. But at the end of the day, she it was a tryhard. Too far?

SPEAKER_04 1:45:50

No, it was just funny.

SPEAKER_07 1:45:52

Never too far. It was just fantastic.

SPEAKER_06 1:45:54

You guys don't say get fucked. Is that not what we say? Oh, I think we've said get fucked plenty of times. Usually not in the context of actually getting literally fucked, more like figuratively fucked by like getting messed up or killed. But no, I love it. It's great. Continue. Can we all do something really cute for Tony's little sister, Lila, and sing happy birthday?

SPEAKER_01 1:46:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:16

Okay. All right. Tony, let me know when you're ready. It's her birthday in 11 minutes. It's very exciting.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:21

Oh, nice.

SPEAKER_06 1:46:23

Screen recording. All right. Let's go. All right. One, two, three. Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:32

Wait, why are we so slow?

SPEAKER_09 1:46:34

Everyone's on different paces. Everyone's different. Why are we going so slow? Do we not know how to sing happy birthday?

SPEAKER_11 1:46:41

Because we can't be in sync.

SPEAKER_09 1:46:42

I don't. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:44

Oh. I'm so sorry. Okay.

SPEAKER_11 1:46:47

That was horrible.

SPEAKER_00 1:46:50

I feel like we just got a clap or something. I need like a tone.

SPEAKER_07 1:46:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:55

Fuck it. Um, happy birthday, Lila. Sorry we can't sing the song. Happy birthday. Lila.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:01

Happy birthday, Lila.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:02

Now it's recorded that we fucking can't sing at the same time.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:05

Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:08

Wait, can how does the song actually go? Can somebody sing it?

SPEAKER_09 1:47:13

Happy birthday to you. It's a lot faster. Are you singing in Spanish? A lot faster than birthday.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:19

Birthday to you.

SPEAKER_09 1:47:20

Yeah. I think you're singing, you were thinking of Las Mañanitas. I'm like, bro, this is not happy birthday. In English goes fast. In Spanish, that shit's a that's a slow burn.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:33

But I yeah, I did, I needed like a I need a like uh, you know. The problem is we we would never be able to do it because the internet delay is gonna keep us all out of sync.

SPEAKER_10 1:47:45

Yeah. So well done. Well done.

SPEAKER_05 1:47:47

That's a bad idea on my part. Happy birthday, Lila. Yeah. Hope your birthday doesn't suck.

SPEAKER_00 1:47:54

Yeah, it is way slower. Yeah, I told you, bro. Oh, alright.

SPEAKER_06 1:47:59

Okay. You know, I was thinking if the scheduling had worked differently this year, that we could have done a rewind of Rob Zombie's Halloween. But then I thought, mmm, somehow it didn't happen. Maybe next year. Maybe next year. Can we do that instead of six? Like I said, I'm doing every fucking Halloween movie, Banks, including those.

SPEAKER_01 1:48:21

I love me some. I love me some, Rob Zombie. White zombie, Rob Zombie. So it might surprise you. You won't know if I like it or not until we review it. I think I won't be surprised.

SPEAKER_06 1:48:34

I think I have my mind made up about what you are. And that's that's okay, and I love you. Well, we did it.