395: Jason X (2001)

SPEAKER_00 0:04

The X and Jason X super xenomorph. Greetings and salutations, and welcome to Hacker Splash. If you're joining us again, welcome back. Vital signs are normal and strong. If it's your first time listening, welcome to the party. We are a horror movie review podcast dedicated to telling you whether a movie is a hack.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

A total joke, a waste of time, or a splash. Totally killer. Unintended.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

We believe horror is for everyone, and at such we're rating these movies with the perspective we've gained from our varying walks of life and the flavors of fear we fancy most. My name is Chris, I'm your friendly neighborhood slasher enthusiast. This week I'm joined by the Superfly Space Guy Mac.

SPEAKER_03 0:43

Why do you want those things anyway?

SPEAKER_00 0:45

And the classic horror connoisseur, Sean.

SPEAKER_03 0:47

Why don't you stare at this for a while, you ugly bastard?

SPEAKER_00 0:51

This week we're continuing our Friday the 13th tradition by covering a certain hockey mask killers franchise.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

And if you support the show, you'll also get to hear us get into supercharging some of horror's in most infamous icons in our B-side.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

More than 20 years after a boy in a mask first stalked the woods of Camp Crystal Lake, a creative team behind his legacy found themselves running out of places to put him. During development, director James Isaac, producer Noel Cunningham, and writer Todd Farmer considered every setting imaginable. Urban streets, icy landscapes, underwater labs, even NASCAR tracks. But with a long delayed crossover film on the horizon, they needed a story that could take place after it without stepping on its toes. The answer? Launch him into the future. Inspired by films like Alien and Aliens, the team reimagined their mass killer on a spaceship filled with scientists, soldiers, and students, aiming for a blend of horror and science fiction. The studio backed the idea with triple the budget of any prior film in the franchise, but even with added funding, expensive set pieces had to be scaled down. And the result is a story that spans centuries, from the early 2000s to the 25th century, and relocates a familiar killer from Forest Trails to the corridors of deep space. This week we're talking about Jason X. Who's seen this one before?

SPEAKER_03 2:10

Man, it has been a while, but I've definitely seen this one before. It's definitely one of the zanier installments in the franchise. It's definitely arguably one of the most fun in the franchise as well.

SPEAKER_04 2:23

This was my first time seeing this. I think I've updated us along the way, but every time we watch one of these films, it's the furthest I've gone in the franchise.

SPEAKER_00 2:30

Feels like the first time. I love that for you, Mac. How sweet, how poetic.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

Can't wait to hear maybe your thoughts on some of this shit, watching it for the first time.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Honestly, wow, what a milestone this is gonna be. Listen, there's a ton of nostalgia baked into this movie for me. This came out right around the time that I was getting into Futurama right before it got cancelled, and the Y2K era obsession with like cryogenics, techie futures, etc., etc. You know, Jason X, Xenon Girl from the 21st Century, Futurama, all those big parts of the early 2000s for me. And I honestly look back on this movie fondly. This is in no way comparable, and they're very different energy, very different vibes, but in my brain, this is the Halloween resurrection of the Friday the 13th franchise for me, where I unapologetically love it.

SPEAKER_03 3:23

Okay, I totally can see that.

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Yeah, Mac, what were you expecting going into this?

SPEAKER_04 3:26

If this is your first time ever seeing it, I think I was expecting like a combination of movies, and I don't really know what they would be. That's the hard part. Like I'm imagining the goofiness of Friday the 13th part four, but maybe with a mixture of like Wing Commander that kind of setup somehow.

SPEAKER_03 3:44

Yeah, I think if you are expecting the same old Jason in a Friday the 13th movie, you will probably be in for a surprise, I think, in this one. Maybe not, but also like it doesn't feel like every other Friday the 13th movie.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Yeah, it really doesn't. But I think maybe that's why I've also just enjoyed it every single time I've seen it. It's different while also feeling in a very strange way spiritually the same. And that's such a bizarre way to describe it. I find that this movie is like super nutty, it's really campy, and it's far from being good in a very traditional sense, but this is one of those that's become a cult classic over time, and I find it like wholly entertaining watching it now, sitting back. I actually watched this twice before this episode, just for shits and giggles, not because I missed something, not because I fell asleep, just because fuck it, let's go back to space, baby. And I felt like watching it, it still delivers this exact brand of like chaotic fun. And I'm finding shit every time that it makes me think, what the fuck was my reaction to this when I was 10 or 11 years old when the shit came out? That's what I want to know. I was between the ages, I know I saw it in theaters, so like depending on the day that I saw it, you know, I was not even a teenager yet, and it was something that was so interesting to see and like go back into this moment in time because when this movie came out, obviously I had no idea that Freddie versus Jason was to come a couple years later. You just have no fucking idea. So to watch it now as an adult and have that context of what comes next in the franchise, it's just even more hilarious.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

This is interesting to watch as a sci-fi fan, though. I'll tell you that like immediately while watching this, I was drawn to my memories of Red Dwarf. And if you've ever seen Red Dwarf, if you've watched a lot of it or all of it, you probably can see why, but like it's a comedy show. Yeah, some seasons they did laugh tracks, and some others they didn't, which was really off-putting for me. I'm not typically a fan of laugh tracks, but if you're making a goofy campy kind of space comedy show in the late 80s, early 90s, that the laugh track plays, and the seasons without it what they were this movie, basically. This movie was honestly, it was like a singular episode. 90 minutes was almost a little bit too long for what for what we get here. I think this was a single episode. Maybe work in the Red Dwarf cast and it would just mesh perfectly into it.

SPEAKER_03 6:17

Man, I I think this movie, it definitely felt campy, like you said, Chris. And then the sci-fi, I was really interested to see or hear your thoughts, Mac, being you know the sci-fi king of it all, right? And just knowing that this is also poking fun at a lot of sci-fi tropes as well as horror tropes. So I'm really curious as we dive into that later on in the episode when we can like really break down some scenes and different things like that, what your thoughts are. But yeah, this movie felt so campy. It's campy in its dialogue, it's campy with the horror tropes that are riddled within it, but it's also sort of campy in this meta sort of way where it's kind of poking fun at itself, it's almost feeling like a parody of the franchise as a whole in some kind of way. You know what I mean? But I gotta know, like, why was this movie so sexual? This movie had so much sexual shit in it, like over the top, over the top.

SPEAKER_00 7:15

Okay. Do you remember the hit Backstreet Boys song, Everybody Rock Your Body? No, everybody. Am I the only one? Am I sexual? Like this movie is that song, but in a fucking shitty slasher movie. That's that's the vibe, that's the energy. It's too sexual. And there's a point where they got through making this movie and they're like, shit, we don't have boobs, and then went back and re-added footage to have boobs. You know what I mean? Like, it's yeah, this movie and the franchise cannot go 90 minutes without having something sexual, and then they fucking went so long they forgot it, and then also had to turn it up a bit. So, yeah, it's way hornier than it needs to be for sure.

SPEAKER_03 8:04

This literally felt like it could be if there was such a thing, right? Jason X could literally be the Friday the 13th Skinemax late night feature sci-fi fucking softcore porn.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Yeah, this is After Dark. This is Hackerslash After Dark, absolutely. But man, one of the things that surprised me more than how horny this movie was was actually looking back and realizing how intentional the comedy is and how they absolutely play into all of it. Because I think when I first watched this, I thought it was funny, but I think I thought they were taking themselves seriously. Yeah, you watch this as a kid, you understand it very differently than you do now in your mid-30s. But one of the things that also surprised me, and I feel like I need to like really sit back and appreciate Max Face when I reveal this tidbit about me personally. This is not news to anyone else who's seen this fucking movie. What surprised me was how much I never really appreciated and could not have possibly understood this as a child, that Jason is just framed as a xenomorph because I hadn't seen Alien or Aliens when this movie came out. I didn't see either of those movies until I was an adult. So how fucking wild is it that I saw Jason X and that was like Star Wars, Xenon Girl from the 21st century, then probably like Phil of the Future, then like maybe Leprechaun and like Jason X. That's my Pantheon and Spaceballs. That's my fucking track record of sci-fi before Alien and Aliens. I'm sorry, Mac.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

Wow. It's I think all I can say to that. It's interesting to see how like your concept of the alien space horror genre is effectively. I don't know. You you've lived like in a completely different alternative universe for me, I think.

SPEAKER_00 9:55

To be fair, I saw Jaws before all then. Aliens just Jaws in space.

SPEAKER_04 9:59

So I'll give you credit. I'll give you credit. Okay. I think it would have made sense had you seen Star Wars first and then Alien. Well, just chronologically, if you're watching movies in the order in which they were released, you know, then I'd be okay with that. But to have seen this before Alien is crazy.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Yeah, listen, we're a big Star Wars family. We're a big Michael Myers family, kind of a little bit of a Jason family, not an alien family. I don't know if any of my other siblings, except for maybe one of them, have actually seen the alien movies. Wow. This is a slasher household, Mac.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

That is wild. That is wild to think about. I think for me, I I had just had like a good mix of just friends that were like super into sci-fi, Star Wars, Star Trek, different things like that. So I know like any kind of like sleepovers or hangouts, they're like, dude, we gotta watch this movie, Alien, you know. And we would just like stay up late and watch those types of movies.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

That's the thing, you know? Like, okay, I get it. Like Star Wars, Star Trek, like, okay, huge, huge Star Wars fan growing up. My first tattoo, no, actually, my second tattoo ever is a Star Wars tattoo. It's a stormtrooper. My brother loves Star Trek. Like, when I was growing up, he had his whole room with like a million collectibles of Star Wars and Star Trek. I never saw a fucking xenomorph. I guess I did see like Predator, but that's more like action-y kind of I think it's less sci-fi, but it's sci-fi. Yeah, I'm sorry, man. Just don't really miss the boat on this one. Jason X.

SPEAKER_04 11:27

I will forgive it. I'll forgive it because of the Star Trek. Okay, that makes up for it.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

Xenomorph Extraordinaire. The X in Jason X for Xenomorph.

SPEAKER_03 11:35

Man, I don't know. I think what's surprising to me, no matter how absurd this movie is, it still somehow finds a way to be entertaining. You know what I mean? Because this movie, like you said, Chris, it's not good in any traditional sense. Just like you said, like when you look at this movie, and you know, there's no way you could say this is a great piece of cinematic, like masterpiece or whatever, right? Whatever you want to say. But somehow it's entertaining the whole way through. Maybe it's the surprise cameo we get, maybe it's the callbacks that we get, the Easter eggs, the overall nods, right, to the franchise, but it's just far more fun than it has any right to be.

SPEAKER_04 12:18

I'll agree there as well. You know, this is look, it's I love sci-fi. It's just my thing, especially space sci-fi and future sci-fi. It's a lot of fun. The spaceship parts are not quite as fun to me as the pre-spaceship parts, which was interesting. And maybe that's just like a visual choice. There's still plenty of fun to be had because it seems to be, like Sean said, really self-aware. It gets that it's goofy, it gets that it's campy, and it still keeps it kind of serious in its delivery, you know, as best as it can, but it really goes hard in the cheesy goofiness sometimes. And I think that caught me off guard in a good way because it's like, all right, you guys are gonna be bad, but at least you know it.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Yeah, see, that's part of this movie's charm. This movie leans so hard into both intentional and unintentional comedy that it works. And it's a film that doesn't take itself seriously by any means. I think it's better for it. So it's not scary. This is the kind of violence that it wants you to have fun with. It wants you to cheer for Jason. It doesn't even want to show you anything that I think is remotely grotesque. I think there's one absolutely incredible kill in this movie where you're like, oh fuck. But that's about it because this movie is just a fun ride. I think the thing here is that this is something that makes the concept of Jason advancing scarier, but you're having so much fun the entire time, you're just along for the ride.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Yeah, I mean, this one definitely departs from a lot of the horror aspects that Jason may have once had in this franchise, right? Like it finds a way to keep the kills, but it makes it feel more of this action-packed sci-fi with a bunch of kills than it does horror now. So the Fright Factor, I don't know. I mean, there are a couple of like kind of gross parts, I guess you could say, but it's more just maybe just expecting those kind of weird effects in a sci-fi creature type movie, you know. That's kind of what it feels like.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

It's interesting that Chris mentioned Predator earlier because this kind of falls in that lane where it's more sci-fi action than it is horror. There's nothing wrong with that, you know. But we're using a horror character just in a more sci-fi action-y way, which is honestly, I think, you know, you either die a hero or live long enough to see your movie franchise become that.

SPEAKER_03 14:47

Yeah, for sure. But I think despite I think despite all of that, right, whether it's sci-fi action or horror, I feel like despite all that, the concept for this movie is actually kind of fun because I think the plot itself, I it's just weird because the concept is really fun, but the plot feels super thin. It barely makes any sense. But one thing this has that any other Jason movie that came before it doesn't have is that this one kind of managed to feel like a fresh Jason in a new environment. So it has that going for it, right? Like the concept of this movie is just hilarious, it makes no sense timeline-wise, it's completely fucked up. I mean, it's on par with the franchise, like they just don't give a shit about the timeline or the continuity, but it is, I don't know, some it managed to feel like a new take, something that we didn't have we haven't seen before, right? Like every other installment, I feel like okay, we kind of know what we're getting, and that's what I was saying before. Like, if you go into this expecting you're gonna get one of the other parts, you know, part two, three, four, whatever, it's not this, right? It feels different.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Yeah, it's interesting in the way that it places itself in the franchise. So in our last movie, when last we saw Jason, he took many forms and then he was cast down into hell. And then the end of the movie reveals Freddie's glove grabbing his mask and pulling it down. So we have that, and we know that Freddie versus Jason is around the corner. At least the filmmakers know that. So they make the decision that whatever movie they do right now needs to not fuck with Freddie versus Jason. So they don't address the hell thing at all. They trust that Freddie versus Jason is going to address the hell thing. And they set it so far in the future that there's no way it could not make sense because it's just fucking hundreds of years later, right? So I think that was a bold step to take. And listen, on the list of slashers in space, okay, just horror movies in space that are not a sci-fi specific film, Leprechaun, Hellraiser, Critters. This is, I think, one of the best. And that's not to say, again, that it's a good movie. I feel like people are gonna really misconstrue this, but this movie takes big swings and it commits to turning Jason into a sci-fi threat without losing slasher DNA. And that feels really difficult to do for all the avenues they explored to have then landed in this direction. I mean, on paper, it sounds like the last grasp of a franchise, desperate for ideas. In some ways, yeah, it is, sure. But in execution, it it feels fresh, just like you said, Sean. It feels fresher than when they fucking dumped this motherfucker in Times Square. It feels fresher than when Jason was in Manhattan. And I think it does it because it feels self-aware, like it understands that it's absolutely jumping the shark and it's so silly.

SPEAKER_04 17:49

That's that's deep. You went deep, okay, talking about the originality of this movie, and I love it. To me, it's I mentioned it earlier, Red Dwarf is a classic TV series. It's awesome. I love it. If you like comedy sci-fi stuff, dig in, watch an episode or two, it gets better, it gets worse, it gets better again. But let me just describe to you the essence here where a modern-day human wakes up in the future and has to then survive on a ship. There's holograms. There's oh, there's no boobs. Okay, so you can just take that out of there. Gosh, what else do we have? Aliens, plenty of aliens going on there. There's an android. Okay. There's an android who's also there for comedy relief in many cases. So I don't know. To me, it just seems like a very similar sort of setup. Obviously, the two are very different, but what it reminded me of as soon as we started watching it was Leprechaun. Yeah. And I know you had to know it was going to come up, right? You had to know it because if you've seen that within the last year, and then you start watching this, and then you realize this did release afterwards. I don't care if they started writing it in 1975, it released later. And so it has that feeling, right? It feels a little bit like leprechaun in space, but with Jason a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 18:59

It has the silliness in there.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Listen, it's got a silly seriousness to it.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

There's no lightsaber. There's no lightsaber.

SPEAKER_04 19:05

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Yeah, there's no there's no Yoda Leprechaun.

SPEAKER_00 19:10

And also, Jason is not trying to steal or buy a bride. Okay, give Jason some credit.

SPEAKER_04 19:17

That's true. He does seem to be stalking this one particular girl, though. So I don't know. It just it seems related. You know, it's there's a tangent, and they're there, tendentially related somehow. Anyway, I'm not saying that this is a negative thing, I'm just saying it reminds me of these other properties, and that's okay because all sci-fi reminds you of other sci-fi, so it's fine, it works, but it doesn't seem like the first of its kind, it just seems like it's joining a long league, is what it feels like.

SPEAKER_03 19:47

It definitely has a lot of feels of a lot of movies, right? Like, I do think, you know, I see what you're saying. I'm with you. I get the leprechaun vibes in there. It even, like I said before, kind of pokes fun at its own franchise in certain ways. You know, you've got alien in there for sure. You know, you were thinking of Red Dwarf, like for some reason I was thinking like it had this feel of like watching a Stargate fucking episode or something. Like, I don't know. It has a lot of feels. I think it's pulling a lot of inspiration, and so I can see that we're feeling a lot of things that it makes us feel familiar of, but at least from looking at it purely, just purely from the Friday the 13th franchise, this one is different.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

Yeah, not Jason X being built different, Sean. I mean, kind of was listen, but also to be fair, the ending of this movie is also built different, it's a complete tonal shift from the rest of the movie. I think what's cool about this, and also what's terrible about this, and really cheesy about this, is it delivers on escalation while also leaning into spectacle. There's some wild stuff that happens in the third act of this movie, and you get so far along, and you think, okay, surely we must be done by now, and then all of a sudden it swishes it up a bit. I think that's something to be said about, again, the campiness of this movie. It's like they're constantly looking for how they can outdo themselves. I think this ending is loud, I think it's ridiculous, but I think it's also really fun in its own chaotic way. So there's a million things that would change about it, a million things that we're gonna poke holes with as soon as we get into the spoiler zone. You know, there's a lot of great practical effects, well, also some like digital effects that are just oh, okay, this looks a little weird. But I I think it's again part of its charm.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

Yeah, I mean it's true. I think the ending was kind of fun. I think the action like from the action packed showdown that we get to the campy little bit in the final moments of the film, I enjoyed watching the ending. It was, you know, a little bit strange, just like the rest of the movie was. You know, I like that it left this option open if someone was crazy enough to pick. Pick up where this story left off, but we're yet to see if that happens.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

So I think we just gotta do it.

SPEAKER_03 22:05

I think someone's gotta do it. Fuck it.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

But given the track record, it's probably not the continuity won't be there.

SPEAKER_00 22:12

It'll just be It's okay because once again, their brilliant move was to say, hey, let's set this shit forever in the future.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

We are living in a day, in a time. Folks, just last year in 2024, in this movie's timeline, hockey was outlawed. They have just completely done this wild thing where no matter what comes next in the Friday the 13th franchise, nothing's coming after Jason X. It will always be the finish line.

SPEAKER_04 22:41

It's inevitable. Brilliant. Yeah. Oh my gosh. You know, the ending, it's not like satisfying in the traditional story-based sense of like point A to point B to point C, uh, point D were there. But it's like, who cares? By the end of the movie, if you're worried about that, why? You know, this wraps up in a way that's consistent with the rest of the movie. It the it embraces absurdity, right? And it leaves you with a final moment that's like kind of a wink and a nod to the audience, which is nice. It doesn't really care about closure, but it's a wink and a nod. And after all the silliness, it it earns the ability to just say, I gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Well, I can't wait to see what else this movie earns when we get through our ratings. But before we get there, Sean, how would you describe the gore score?

SPEAKER_03 23:23

You know, I think that even though this was the first Friday the 13th movie to lean so heavily into special effects or CGI, I think it's still found a way to blend just the right amount of practical effects in there. And Chris, you were mentioning it too. It's like even though that some of the CGI was questionable, it was maybe part of the fun, part of the charm of the movie. And I think, you know, it makes sense as well in some way because this is like the turn of the century Jason. You know what I mean? Like it's Jason in fucking space. So naturally they had to use some tech in there, you know, kind of flash off like the new technology in this movie for better or worse, or indifferent. I don't know. But between the two, I think we have enough throat slicing, machete chopping, face smashing, and body drilling fun. But even though Total Film had this lumped in their list of like the 30 most violent films, I think maybe 16th or something like that. I would still give this one a high gore score. Definitely not severe. I think maybe even medium high, if I'm being honest, because you are in a list alongside of films like Cannibal Holocaust or Saw or Hostel or things like that. So this one doesn't really seem that bad when you put it up against those types of films as far as gore and violence goes.

SPEAKER_00 24:42

I'm sorry, when was this list published?

SPEAKER_03 24:45

I don't remember when it was published. It's just like a random list I was looking at. So I'm just referencing like this list of 30 most violent films by total film. This is that's the that's who published it. So I'm like looking at this list, and they have this movie literally smack dab in the middle, saying this is one of the most violent films.

SPEAKER_00 25:03

And I'm like, Yeah, that's one of the most bold statements you could make, sir. What the hell? Okay, we're gonna have to make our own list of 30 most violent films because I guarantee you this isn't even in the top 75.

SPEAKER_03 25:17

Yeah, I don't think so. So that's what I'm saying. I don't know, some people might rate it really high up here, you know. You can't trust IMDB because those guys are always fucking rating everything severe, but I think it's in the middle ground. Like we get a lot of cool stuff, but it ain't that severe. It's like a medium high at best.

SPEAKER_00 25:35

Okay. Well, what about our animal report?

SPEAKER_04 25:38

Supposedly off-screen, there's hundreds of animals that perish, but really on screen, no one should be worried unless they're just a fan of xenobiology.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

All right, well, let's go ahead and get into our ratings. Jason X from 2001. Is it a hack or a slash? I don't think I'll just kick this off here. Just get it out of the way. This movie is campy. This movie is cheesy, this movie is aware of what it is and it knows what it is not. And even the people who made this film very much know that it is not the best film in the franchise. But I also think they know it's not the worst in the franchise, and that's the credit it deserves. If you go into this looking for like a grounded, serious horror film, you're in the wrong orbit and you're doing that to yourself. But if you enter this experience in the mood for campy chaos, wrapped up in a flavor of sci-fi, this movie's got it. I think it delivers. This isn't a film you recommend because of how well it's made. You don't go telling anybody, hey, this is the good shit. Let's watch this right here. It's a film you recommend because of how much fun it is and how much you're gonna laugh with your friends. This is one of those community horror movies. This is the pizza and beer horror movies that you're gonna laugh with and at at the same time. And listen, it knows what it is, it takes big swings, and it knows what it wants to be, and it commits to that. And I think that there's nothing more that you can ask for in a fucking slasher in space movie. So look, Sean, you said it. This movie is more fun than it has any right to be, and it's also a slash.

SPEAKER_04 27:17

You know, slash aside, I gotta slow myself down as a sci-fi fan, right? Because I could be really upset, but then you're not a true sci-fi fan. Okay, you have to enjoy what you're given. You have to look at everything as a gift and just let it wash over you. This is a dumb movie. It is so it's just over the top. It's a sci-fi slasher comedy horror thing. We're sending Jason into space, right? It's a B movie, feels like it, but it knows it as well and embraces that. It's just a silly romp with some genuinely fun creative kills. Can't wait to talk about that. But it's weighed down at some points with some wooden acting, with some cringe-worthy dialogue. It's not like horrible, horrible, but it's you know, you can tell it's not a list, all right. But if you will lean into that ridiculousness, it's a beer and pizza kind of movie. It's bad, but it's good because it's fun. It's like a blood-soaked cartoon in space, thus, it is a slash.

SPEAKER_03 28:14

Incredible. I mean, hey, I feel like honestly, we were already pushing the limits of plausibility in this franchise by the time we got to this one. But this movie literally dared to send Jason to fucking space, right? Like they sent Jason to space, and somehow, some way, against all odds and better judgment, this movie, Jason X, is far more entertaining than it has any right to be, right? It's just too good, right? I think it's fun, it's zany, it's campy, but I do want to get something straight. Jason X, it's not a good movie. We've already said it. At least, like you said, Chris, not in that traditional sense. But it is fun as hell. It's cheesy, it's absurd, it's, you know, you mentioned the tone, it's like totally chaotic, it's jam-packed with dialogue that feels like it might have been written by some kind of weird, fucking like sentient VHS VHS tape from 19 fucking ninety-four, some stupid shit like that. And I think that it knows, I think that it knows that it's fucking weird, that it's off the walls, right? But this movie leans so hard into the camp that it felt like we might be breaking the fourth wall when watching this movie. That's how campy this movie is that I wasn't even expecting when I first watched this movie, but it still feels that way every time I watch this movie. And this movie just truly understands what it is and what it's trying to do, and it's, I think, unapologetically playing its part very well. The plot, it's fucking nonsense. The sci-fi elements are completely laughable, and the characters are basically walking cliches, but I feel like it just works in some quirky sort of way, and the film is also unusually sexual with characters that treat sometimes deep space research vessels like fucking spring break in Cancun. And I feel like, listen, don't get me started on the costume design because the costume design alone could probably double as a as one of those late night Skinemax features for sure. That's literally how this movie feels, but that's what makes this movie so silly, so campy, and I think just really fun. And I know a lot of diehard fans of this franchise don't like this movie. There's a lot of people that don't like this movie, but honestly, I always just have a good time while I'm watching this one. So it may not be a slice of cinematic excellence, but it is a slash, and some might say it's a slash tacular space massacre.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

Wow, I can't wait for Rob to chime in and say that we're all wrong. But for now, there you have it, folks. Jason X from 2001 has under Universal Slash. Now, there's so much more to say about this movie because we're gonna get into our spoilers here in a moment, but you can find the link in our show notes to see where you can watch it right now if you want to catch up along with us. Now, race for shock, we're gonna get into the horniness, we're gonna get into the costume redesign, and we're gonna unpack just how many animals allegedly died. We'll see you in a bit.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

This episode of Hacker Slash is machete chopped and cryopreserved by Simmons Cream, the only virtual reality experience that lets you face your fears in whatever horrific fashion you like. Strap in as you're dropped into fully immersive horror simulations, from a summer camp slasher to the deep space aboard the SS Grendel. You are guaranteed to have the time of your life, even if it's cut short by Jason's machetti. Craft weapons, forge alliances, or just hide behind a hologram of two co-eds yelling, we love premarital sex. Hey, it worked once, right? And thanks to our cryosave technology, you can pause your terror, freeze your fear, and return later to finish your scream session. And don't worry about permadeath because this isn't reality, it's virtual vorhies. So whether you're trying to outsmart a machete-wielding maniac or just reliving the glory of 2000 space horror, Sim and Scream has the cutting-edge experience you've been dying for. Download now and get a free DLC. Jason takes your hard drive. Sim and scream, because in here, no one can hear you scream unless they're watching on Twitch. Well, before we like really get into them and we talk about probably arguably one of the best kills in the entire franchise, I will say, as I was watching this one again, and after getting to a certain part of this movie and remembering what one of the writers said about this film in an interview of just how many people were on Solaris or Solaris before Jason crashed the fucking spacecraft into it and blew the whole fucking place up, it dawned on me that this might be the highest kill count across the entire franchise. And when you have 27 on-screen kills, that that feels high enough already, right? Like 27's a good kill count right there. But when you add the off-screen kills that were mentioned, the VR girls, the whopping 19,727 people that were confirmed to have been on Solaris by the writer Todd Farmer, that leaves us with the death toll at 19,815. So we have not only the highest kill count in the franchise, but it's one of the highest on this podcast so far.

SPEAKER_00 34:15

Yeah, it feels like cheating.

SPEAKER_03 34:19

No, I mean it's there, you know, it was like confirmed by like some super credible people.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Yeah, it just you know, 27 is cool.

SPEAKER_03 34:29

27 is cool too.

SPEAKER_00 34:30

Let me tell you how I would have bought that. Let me remind you of when the Star Wars sequel trilogy decided to destroy an entire planet again in the franchise, and they cut to the planet's perspective as it was being destroyed. Holy shit, emotional, gutting. We could have gotten one POV shot from that planet, I would have been like, fuck, that's like 20,000 people, that's gone. In this, it's like, okay, come on. All right, yeah, we'll see. Yeah, that's a very specific number there, Todd Farmer.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

It's a super specific number that is not mentioned at all in the movie.

SPEAKER_00 35:05

But wasn't there also a fucking breakdown of exactly how many animals down to like the species of animals?

SPEAKER_03 35:11

Okay. There, yeah, there was a breakdown of how many animals. Let me pull this up really quick, because yes, they Todd Farmer also did us the favor of telling us exactly how many animals were on Solaris and how many of those died as well. So it was confirmed that on top of the 19,727 civilians on Solaris, there was also 207 dogs, 17 cats, 4,713 angelfish, guppies, neons, andor mollies, as well as three gerbils, 14 rats, a pony, and a fucking Komodo dragon to top it the fuck off. Because why is a fucking Komodo dragon on this fucking space station?

SPEAKER_00 36:00

Why isn't there a single monkey or a single mouse? See, this is why it's bullshit. This is why it's bullshit. You don't have the classic sci-fi animals in there. There's no troopacabras either. What the fuck, Todd?

SPEAKER_03 36:11

Something's not right. Nope.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Something's not right. None of it's right. Uncledible source.

SPEAKER_03 36:16

Okay, but with all these kills to choose from, at least we have 27 we can actually get into. Which one of these kills blew your rocket?

SPEAKER_04 36:24

Say it, Chris. Come on. There's only one answer here. Say it.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Well, I was gonna say it, but then Sean said to blow a rocket, which I don't have. So do you want to say it? You're the sci-fi guy.

SPEAKER_04 36:34

Oh my gosh. I will definitely say this. The best one here. And I hope that I'm not crazy in this. It's the first kill of the film, which is well not the first kill. Not the first kill of the film. It's the first kill of the future. Of the spaceship. Of the future. There you go. Okay. The future. The rest of the film, it's whatever. Don't worry about that. Now we're talking about Private Johnson, all right, gets her face dipped in what is that? Liquid nitrogen? I'm guessing. Okay. Dipped in liquid nitrogen, then face smashed into like what the metal table instantly just gone. Face just gone. It's not there anymore. So and then just, you know, set aside, hung up.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

He just tosses her like a ragdoll.

SPEAKER_00 37:16

Incredible. And once again, I want to throw it back to the Terrifier 3 episode when I said that Jason X walked so that Art the Clown and his fucking frozen rats could run. Because holy shit, this movie, this kill in this movie, incredible. The way that her face and her just head is completely crushed in and just shattered. Liquid nitrogen kill, one of the best slasher kills in any franchise ever. One of the best.

SPEAKER_03 37:46

I mean shit. I was saying in this franchise, but yeah, I mean, you're not wrong. It could, it's up there in slashers as a whole.

SPEAKER_00 37:54

Yeah, we need a hall of fame of kills because this would be the one for Friday the 13th. And it's the one in space, which is fucking crazy. Leprechaun can't say that. Leprechaun had some bullshit kills in space. He made some kind of big fucking scorpion spider fucking thing, but that's about it. This is the iconic and the definitive space kill, I think, for the slasher. This is as close as you can get to a good space kill without being alien and having, you know, KY jelly mouth, I think. But just to give some credit to another one, I want to throw it back to our Final Destination bloodline episodes when I talked about how Final Destination really loves a rod going through something. Let's give it out to David Cronenberg, who played Dr. Weber, impaled by a metal pole thrown by Jason. Like a little fucking javelin moment.

SPEAKER_03 38:42

I mean, it was just great to see David Cronenberg do a cameo in this movie in general. Like it's just cool to see him do that, and then it was hilarious to watch him get impaled at the end of it all.

SPEAKER_00 38:55

Okay, so another fun little stupid thing about me being ignorant as fuck when I was a child. This is what I know David Cronenberg from. This is it. This is it. This is the thing.

SPEAKER_04 39:07

That's great. I love that you can have him from horror, but for me, he's now a part of Star Trek for better or for worse. It's a recent edition, recent edition. I mean, I know him from other stuff before that, but you know, now he's solidified, he's in the universe.

SPEAKER_03 39:20

Yeah. I think a another good kill though, was it Private Jackson getting impaled by that mining drill, like getting thrown in and getting impaled on that mining drill afterwards, and it was just kind of spinning with his body on it, and we got to see that kind of aftershot as well. But it was also the dialogue right after that when the rest of the crew finds his body, and Sergeant Brodsky asks, What is his status? And I forget who says it, but someone says, screwed.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

See, these are the kind of punny jokes that we wanted in Leprechaun in space.

SPEAKER_02 39:54

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Leprechaun had like massive dick jokes because he literally fucks up somebody by traveling through their urethra. But this movie had the better puns.

SPEAKER_03 40:06

It definitely did. It definitely did.

SPEAKER_04 40:08

1000%. That moment was hilarious. I couldn't believe it, honestly. I was like, did it they just had her say that with a straight face? This is audacity, and I am here for that audacity. I think there's other kills we could talk about. There's one that I think didn't go far enough, and that is like the slurping through the hull of the ship kill.

SPEAKER_03 40:24

Oh yeah. With through like through the metal grate.

SPEAKER_04 40:28

Yeah, so that's always a good time movie. We've seen it before Alien Resurrection. Uh, in a way, it's you know, it's longer, it's more drawn out, but this was like so immediate, so goopy, yet we didn't get to actually see it happen. And they could have done that with in some sort of way, put a vacuum on the other side. I don't know, but it would have been fun had they used practical effects to make that a reality.

SPEAKER_03 40:49

Listen, if you give us that full kill and we get to watch the entire body just slowly go through that tiny fucking those like tiny squares in the grates, maybe this would have cemented itself in a high gore score territory and it wouldn't be stuck in that medium, medium, high territory, you know what I mean? But it did feel like it was so fast. Like we knew it was happening, and then before you know it, you didn't even see anything, you just saw the aftermath of like a couple of it looked like I don't know, some jelly on the grates.

SPEAKER_00 41:20

Yeah. If this movie committed to the bit as much as it committed to the tit, we would have had way more gore. Now, I actually want to highlight a couple other ones. Speaking of the tit. The VR teen girls. Fucking incredible. I'm gonna talk about it more because it's actually one of my favorite scenes. But I love just like him completely beating each other with the sleeping bags, and they're still talking, they're still going. It's just fucking hysterical. And it's actually that sleeping bag moment that I was so excited and reminded of when we watched the Friday the 13th, 2009 reboot. Absolutely iconic.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

It's so good, it's so good. And yeah, we'll get into it more when we break down scenes. But another one that had one of those, I don't know if it's maybe a pun, or it was just kind of funny with the dialogue as well, was when Sergeant Brodsky first gets killed and he gets stabbed once through the stomach, and he's all like, It's gonna take more than a poke on the ribs to take this old dog down, and then he gets stabbed a second time and he's like, That'll do it, that'll do it. That was great.

SPEAKER_00 42:23

It was so fucking good. Another one actually that stands out, okay. Well, Kinza being a little brat, she crashes the escape shuttle after she's panicking and losing her ship because she forgets to detach the fuel lines. What a punk amateur move.

SPEAKER_03 42:38

Terrible.

SPEAKER_00 42:39

If you just struck with everybody else, Kinza, it would have been fine.

SPEAKER_03 42:42

Yeah, she really screwed everything up right there. But honestly, outside of the kills, when you think of like legitimately some of the stuff that goes into making movies, right, when we think of like set design and cinematography and all this stuff, right? I think when you look back on this movie, nothing honestly, nothing really stands out that's like super compelling or super great. But at the same time, everything is amazing in this movie. But I can just say that the pendulum swing of Jason's look in this movie was so drastic because Jason went from looking like a Timu Hannibal Lecter to one of the most badass looks he's ever had.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Okay, I'm so glad you didn't walk away from this topic. I thought you were treading for a very dangerous direction here because Uber Jason is the highlight of this movie. You can talk about the rest of the effects for sure. The set design is nothing to write home about, but this look is a moment. He has what looks like a chromatic face hugger on his face. And what I love even here is that he doesn't have any Jason makeup on underneath that mask because there wasn't any room for it. It's just Kane Hotter wearing that mask, and he has colored lens. On and it's so uncomfortable with the way the lens looked in combination with his own eye color that every time they fucking landed on him, it's like made everybody uncomfortable to look at.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Because he looked uncomfortable, man. He looked like he was just not having a good time.

SPEAKER_00 44:15

Yeah, those eyes looked fucking. If I ever saw a set of eyes like that, this is what I'm talking about, right? This movie is not scary, but this is feasibly a scary Jason.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

Well, that red eye was fucking gnarly.

SPEAKER_04 44:29

Yeah, you mentioned something negative about the wardrobe earlier, and I was so shocked because I thought the wardrobe here was great. Not only his, but like early in the film, they're in the future, they're going, you know, they're breaking her free and they come down in like these robes. Somebody has something on their mouth or mask or something. I don't know. The look of it was like surprisingly good. Like you mentioned Stargate earlier. Sometimes they had fun little costumes, and I think this here reminded me of that where I was like, okay, I can see these like future explorers, they're not wearing spacesuits because they're on Earth or whatever. Like, okay, the look of this. And then later on, we get these over-the-top 2000s, like trying to be sexy costumes, like we get for the Android.

SPEAKER_03 45:08

I think that's what I'm talking about. And I don't actually have a huge problem with it. I just think that it's I think that it's it just made me feel like they were being like that was another added layer to how sexual they were trying to be was like we're gonna have this futuristic risque wardrobe, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 45:25

I get that because some of them they go too far, you know, they just make it like I'm wearing lingerie, but I'm also I've also got guns. Hold on, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

Speaking of going too far and speaking of the wardrobe, this movie is nominated for my 2025 Slash Torch Awards pick for didn't need to see nip. Specifically, the nip of the man who's getting his nipples twisted while they're making him say that daddy wants it harder. What the fuck? This was a whole segment of this movie that did not need to be there. It's actually pretty funny, but also I did not need to be there, and hairy nipples are just not a thing I ever want to see on the screen. Sorry. No shade to you if you have hairy nipples. But also, it just makes me think of that one fucking family guy episode where Stewie is breastfeeding from Peter and then finds a hair in his mouth. That's what I think of when I see hairy nipples and barbarian.

SPEAKER_03 46:19

Gross and barbarian, yeah. Gross. Gross. I mean, we yeah, that whole scene was absolutely ridiculous. Literally, this guy is like getting his nipples pinched and wrenched and pulled, and he's just all about it. He just loves it, every bit of it.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

Don't know why we needed that. They did this whole lumping together of like sexualized scenes at the very beginning of the movie. Like it was back to back to back, and I was like, what point are you trying to prove that everybody in this film is horny at the same time? I don't really get that. That was a bit strange, but at least it was kind of like kept together for that chunk. It wasn't too spread out, even though we got more later. It was like, we're just gonna get this out of our system because you know we have to.

SPEAKER_03 46:59

Yeah, and I think this movie is just full of just funny little scenes. There's so many little moments throughout this movie that are just hilarious. I think the video game like Sim, when Jason walks up on, I think it's Azrael and the other dude, and we get four kills for the price of two right there, and you gotta love them, right? Like Azrael getting his getting sliced in half with the machete and then snapped in half in real life afterwards. Man, too good, too good.

SPEAKER_00 47:30

See, it's a good moment, and I actually really enjoy it because it reminds me of the Orville, the show The Orville with Seth McFarlane. There is a whole room, or you've seen it, Sean, but there's a whole room, and then it becomes a very actually central part of the plot in a later season where it's just like a complete simulation, and I love this idea come to life. I think the stuff in this room looks terrible and shitty, but I also love that we get the screenwriter of the movie in this movie as one of the two guys that's killed. That's fantastic.

SPEAKER_03 48:04

Oh dang, that's great.

SPEAKER_00 48:05

He's the bold gentleman.

SPEAKER_03 48:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now I'm tracking.

SPEAKER_00 48:12

I think the best scene in this film that is not the liquid nitrogen death, is the ability for this film to go back to the camp and the tropes of the Friday the 13th franchise. And we have the the VR camp crystal lake scene. It's pure perfection, it's a clever twist on nostalgia, but the holographic teen girl specifically trying to distract him by offering to smoke pot and have premarital sex. It's a fucking smart callback, and I love it so much because it's just this joy and this ditzy energy that they have while he continues to just fucking wallop them in their sleeping bags. Ah, it's again the liquid nitrogen death and the VR camp scene, two best scenes in this movie.

SPEAKER_04 49:02

This really was a great callback and something like a big nod to the fans as well. And the fact that it, I don't know, it seemed like a nice little self-contained nugget, yeah, where it was fun, and they just got back to having a little bit of fun and being really self-referential. This is part of how they're like self-aware, is they're not just aware of how campy so far, they're like aware of the franchise and how it can be. And this was an awesome little way to say, like, guys, we know we're in on it.

SPEAKER_03 49:29

Yeah, it's just I I keep just flashing back to just watching this like teenage girl co-ed virtual sim thing that's wrapped up in a fucking sleeping bag, and he's just fucking whacking the other girl in the sleeping bag the whole time, and it's just so fucking hilarious. It feels like it would be a skit in like a scary movie or something like that. You know what I mean? It was that like campy, but there was also a really great moment where someone is like reaching out to grab the sergeant's hand, and it was like this, it really felt like this long drown out sequence where they're like reaching out, she's like reaching out to grab the sergeant's hand for help. And it really felt like one of those tag team moments in wrestling where you have like the person you know is right there, and you can see like if they just moved their hands in towards each other, like they're close enough to make the tag, but they're like sitting there, like really trying to like stretch it and be like, I can't reach you, I can't reach you, and then all of a sudden they just like jump out of nowhere and grab the person, you know what I mean? Like it was just like so hard to do something so easy for so long.

SPEAKER_00 50:33

I love when you can throw it back to a wrestling moment.

SPEAKER_04 50:36

All the and I'm gonna take it back to Star Trek because how can I not? And there's specifically an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation called The Naked Now. And if you know it, you know it, I guess is that the phrase. But we've got the android here who is in this romantic relationship with the human character, and we got to a part where I was like, oh gosh, we've already started with toplessness. Oh, yeah, and then the nipples fell off.

SPEAKER_02 51:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 51:02

And that was a great little, I feel like that was a fun little way to say, like, we know that we have to show boobs a lot for these movies. I don't know, that's what it read as to me, but it was just, I don't know. Their interaction in most scenes was great because she's like so programmed to be in love with him and he's just so naturally in love with her. But even at the end when she shows up as a total badass, I think it was just like he admires this Android that's KM14 is a scene.

SPEAKER_00 51:27

So much she really pulls focus from the rest of the characters. And why is the android the best human in this whole movie? Except for Rowan, maybe. Rowan and KM14, I think. Let's give that a lesbian romance. Fuck all these other people.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

True. I do wish, though, that they would have been able to get Betsy Palmer to reprise her role as Pamela Voorhees in this movie. Because at least in one of those like simulator, the virtual simulator scenes, right? But obviously it didn't work out. They were trying to, but it didn't work out, and it would have been just really cool. And what a great, like, that would have been a great callback moment, too, if they threw her in the Camp Crystal Lake virtual, you know, sim that he got stuck in or trapped in or whatever. That would have been an interesting moment. And it would have been kind of cool to see.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

Oh my gosh, we need to we need a remake of Jason X. Forget a sequel, we just need a remake with modern technology.

unknown 52:19

Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 52:20

It can be done. We can get Pamela Voorhees. Not Betsy Palmer. We can find a way. She rests in peace. Like, let's just, you know, leave well enough alone. Let's let her live her legacy. However, I think we can recreate the magic.

SPEAKER_04 52:32

Hey, we did already have a more modern Pamela Voorhees played by another Star Trek actor, so saying, I think that might need that already.

SPEAKER_00 52:42

I don't know how the fuck you continue to just rattle out any ounce of Star Trek lore and trivia. We maybe our 400th episode should just be all the Star Trek trivia that you've riddled off over the years.

SPEAKER_04 52:56

Seriously, so Nana Visitor played Pamela Voorhees in the game. In the 2009. That's who played the mom. She was in Star Trek Deep Space Nine, Major Kira. I mean, fantastic character, fantastic actress. And uh yeah, I'm just saying, I don't need another Pamela Voorhees after that.

SPEAKER_00 53:16

But you have Linda Cartellini, she's gonna be Pamela Voorhees.

SPEAKER_04 53:20

That's true. That's true. I mean, that's a tough one, but oh yeah, I forgot.

SPEAKER_03 53:24

I don't know about that. Well, we'll see. She's not in Star Trek. I know that's true. That's true. Outside of Star Trek, though, it was pretty cool to see this movie for some old like 50s and 60s creatures, because well, in the movie, we only actually get to see the Venusian, which was a creature featured in the Outer Limits show in 1964. So that was kind of cool. But if you check out some behind-the-scenes stuff and you can see like some of the raw footage that was like some of the original raw footage, you can also see that in that same scene when they're like looking at the tanks and what's in the tanks behind them. You can check out they had the Xanti misfit like ant creature that was from the outer limits as well. They had the monster from Fiend Without a Face in 1958, and they even had one of the Gilman's hands from Creature from the Black Lagoon. So kind of cool to see some of those things thrown in there as well. So they really are just throwing a lot of nods and callbacks and fan service and all kinds of fun stuff in this movie.

SPEAKER_00 54:23

I mean, this movie is just a million things I missed in this movie.

SPEAKER_04 54:28

Yeah, this is one of those things here where you can tell like some movies they're just fun to watch, other movies they were fun to make. And I feel like this must have been fun to make, at least for a couple folks, because of all those small things they got to add here and there.

SPEAKER_03 54:41

Yeah, but I think the worst part of this movie is probably how little this movie made sense when you think about like, well, I guess you kind of cleared it up, Chris, because they can just throw it that far into the future. So everything just gets summed up to the point of like no matter what we do, it comes before it. But when you like really think about it, like they just went from dragging this motherfucker to hell to then just giving us 400 something years or however many years it was in the future and not giving us the continuity of that story, and that was a conscious decision. So for I don't know, for me, I think I can understand where maybe some of the die hard franchise fans may not like that aspect and how this movie was thrown in there, but still a fun movie, it's still a great, it's still a great time to watch this movie. But I think from you know its track record, it's like, man, can we ever get like a good timeline for this movie or for this franchise?

SPEAKER_00 55:38

You know, hey, it is what it is. I think they made some decisions, I think they bit off maybe a little bit more they can than they could chew in some moments, but I think what's cool is seeing the intention and understanding now the direction that they were going with how they wanted to place this. Because even the year that the movie set in the beginning, it's 2008. Yeah, this movie came out. I mean, it was obviously being made, it released in Spain in 2001, and then in the US in 2002, but they gave it about six years of play. We had this movie in 2002, and then Freddie vs. Jason in 2003. So I think there's like a safety net there. I'm good with the timeline, honestly, and that's sort of a surprise coming for this fucking franchise. But I think one of the things that really pulled me out of this movie it's so stupid, it's so dumb because I shouldn't care about this. But I want to just like take it back to the very beginning of the movie. Let's go back to 2008. Okay, you mean to tell me that Jason was strapped in, he was about to be on the move, he wasn't just being snagged, and then everybody who knew about his existence was in one room. Is that correct? Right? Like he was moved, like he people were looking for him, he was expected to be somewhere. So you mean to tell me that they're gonna be in progress in the middle of this, transporting him, and no one is gonna notice or realize, oh hey, this guy never fucking made it. So they and not only that, right? Because like obviously, then if he escaped, it's like, well, fuck, now he's out, right? It's kind of like Michael Myers getting transported the night before fucking Halloween, and then oh my god, we gotta go find him, right? I get that. It's the fact that he was still there, he was frozen in place, they could have just gone there. There's no reason why he should have been there, and also she should have been there still frozen. You know what I mean? So the whole movie doesn't work because it's that fucking dome in the beginning, but whatever. It is what it is, it is what it is.

SPEAKER_03 57:41

Plot holes, plot holes like Switch cheese.

SPEAKER_00 57:44

You could fit a fucking galaxy into the size of that plot hole.

SPEAKER_04 57:49

Yesh. Tearing them a new one on that part.

SPEAKER_00 57:52

Listen, does it actually matter? No, it's a fucking slasher in space. We could have started it hundreds of years in the future and it didn't find it wouldn't have mattered, but it's just come on. There's no way that this guy has been untouched all these hundreds of years.

SPEAKER_04 58:08

Yeah, that's true. Like, why? Why did nobody think like um maybe we should just go blow it up or something? Okay, what the fuck?

SPEAKER_00 58:14

Were these guys over here in this other facility saying, oh, I guess he ghosted us? What? No.

SPEAKER_04 58:20

Right. Although they do make it clear that basically Earth One burnt down, and they didn't say when that happened, did they? That could be 50 years in the future.

SPEAKER_00 58:31

Haki was outlawed on Earth 1 in 2024, so they still had some time before them.

SPEAKER_04 58:36

Maybe the property tax was like prepaid, so they didn't have to worry about it, so it just sat there unused for however long.

SPEAKER_00 58:42

I love the length you're going to defend this movie. I did not expect that from you too.

SPEAKER_04 58:48

Well, I I won't I won't give it infinite room because this script, um honestly, it's like they they set things to autopilot when it came to that. Run-of-the-mill dialogue, story beats. I know we're not really here for like a solid storytelling feature, but you know, it's just it feels like a bee sci-fi movie for most of it. It's saved by the fact that we have Jason, it's saved by the humor that they're able to inject into it. But everything else, you know, it's kind of like, all right, whatever, that's fine. I think they were saved by those other spectacular moments, but like, you know, in-betweens, they're kind of meh.

SPEAKER_03 59:25

Yeah, I feel you. I do think though, despite all of that stuff and it being as fun as it is, I think it is one of the few for me in this franchise that I actually would get excited to re-watch because it is just that fun to watch, and there are that many like nods, Easter eggs, funny one-liners, things that you can continuously pull from, and even the stuff that you may be able to recite or know is coming, still somehow, after all these years, finds a way to be just as entertaining, just as silly as it felt when I first watched it. And I would be curious to see like if somebody ever does pick up where this movie left off. It it is kind of just a layup. Like, we have this body like going through the atmosphere and falling right back into fucking Earth 2's Camp Crystal Lake, you know what I mean? And some dumbass people that are gonna go check it out. So they literally can just fresh start, new Jason, let's do it again, run this shit back.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:31

There's gonna be a DC crossover. It's like whenever Flash fucking does his shit, and then all of a sudden we're in a new timeline and or fucking new reality, whatever. There's like Earth 17 fucking whatever the hell. I think we're gonna get that eventually. That would be absolutely ridiculous. But listen, between here and then, like this movie is so re-watchable, it's dumb shit. And I love getting some rewatches in a Friday the 13th marathon. The only thing that makes me sad is that it's not like Friday the 13th, you know what I mean? But it is Jason, it's in space, it's kooky, it's fine. It's something that I've watched so many times over the years and so managed to have fun. So I don't think it's even honestly at the point where I've watched it so many times it stops being fun. I think this does really well to just let it have some breathing room in your life and then go back and laugh at it with some friends later.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:26

I have to give it credit because we've got a lot of sci-fi that goes into time travel, whether it's directly within the movie or by making prequels. You have to do it right by not messing up the rest of the work, right? I mean, unless you're trying to retcon stuff, that's different. But if you're trying to splice something into the future or the past, don't mess up the original source material. So you can watch, I don't know, maybe part one, part two, maybe part three or part four. You don't have to go any further. You can watch this, and then you can keep go and watch everything else that was there, and it won't ruin a darn thing for the story. And that I think works really well, and I give it credit for that. This is something where now, kind of like Sean, if I'm going to re-watch this, I can watch one, I can watch two. I don't know if you have to watch three or four to get all the way to this, but you could watch this and you could be like, oh yeah, okay, cool. I get the idea with what happens with this character and that works.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:18

You gotta always watch at least to part three to see him get his mask, and also to have Chris Higgins one of the best final girls in this franchise. But hey, for now, there you have it, folks. Jason X in space, no less, has earned a Universal Slash. And we've certainly had a robust discussion here, but the conversation about the wild direction this franchise has taken does not end here by any means.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:43

If you want to find out what's at the bottom of Crystal Lake and go further than this episode, consider supporting the show. You can go to patreon.com slash hacker slash and enjoy even more of the show, including bonus content with early access, extended episodes with our B-sides, movie nominations, and live show.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:00

And if you would give us an upload, like what happened to the Android in this movie, leave us a five star review wherever you get your podcasts. This helps us to continue to deliver great content for all you horror features.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:16

Oh shit, I forgot my arm.